#1334 - Fahim Anwar
Aug 13, 2019
Fahim Anwar is an actor and stand up comedian. Check out his special on Amazon called "Fahim Anwar: There's No Business Like Show Business".
hey friends how's it going out there huh how you doing this episode the podcast is brought to you by the host of my website if you go to Joe Rogan.com that's a Squarespace website made with the regular Squarespace easy to use drag-and-drop user interface that makes a person like you a regular person able to make a beautiful professional website with Squarespace they've got it nailed they have gorgeous designer templates and a simple easy-to-use interface and if you know how to do regular stuff on a computer like move files around on a desktop just if you drag and drop stuff you can make a fucking gorgeous website each website comes with a free online store so if you've been thinking like maybe I'd get out of this fucking dead end job and make things and sell them or whatever you want to do you can do that with Squarespace you can sell products and services of any kind or you could just use it to promote a physical or online business and they
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► 00:07:59butter prep scrub and post-shave do and the best part is you can try for just five bucks and after that the restock box ships regular sized products at regular prices get your ultimate starter set for just $5 at dollarshaveclub.com Rogen that's dollarshaveclub.com / Rogan my guest today is a hilarious stand-up comedian he's a former engineer at Boeing and we talked about that on the podcast he's one of my brother's for The Comedy Store and fucking awesome guy please give it up for the hilarious Fahim Anwar
► 00:08:39The Joe Rogan Experience trained by day Joe Rogan podcast by night all day
► 00:08:46so how are you good see ya outside the store I know that we're when you run into a comedian that you don't normally hang out with outside the store I mean I would recognize you but sometimes you'll meet someone that you met at a meeting and then it's like a Ralph's and you can't place the contact that's bad especially if it's like an executive and they really like you to remember them are you good at faking it nope Tire well that's your tell I just say I don't know I'm sorry do you think I'm sorry were you go it's good seeing you instead of nice meeting you nope I've done nice meeting you and they've go we've met five times I'm real shit I don't think you understand the volume of people that comedians especially at your level like come across every day yeah like how many shows we do people coming up to you afterwards and being like a great setup a blah and how many meetings in generals are you aware of dunbar's number I was that like how many number of people use like a hundred or something that you can keep in your head it's something I don't think it's an exact science but I think they think it's somewhere around a hundred fifty I believe it you got about a hundred fifty people in your head and after that you fucked yeah
► 00:09:46yeah it's tough it makes sense right there's no way you can keep them all in there no that doesn't make any sense and it's cool I'll try this or you know having a chat yes yeah it's like if you feel the most comradery with other comedians outside the store when you run into them at an airport I was just thinking about that every time I go to LAX I'll bump into like someone else Jo Koy or last time I was Bert Kreischer and like he's a straight over going to do I think Utah it's just like a hub for all of us yes so yeah you'll see so many because we're all just transients we're here for the middle of the week and then when the weekends come for the club's we're all going somewhere yeah like oh we want to come to the store Tuesday's like probably the best night and people don't understand why I like it so stacked like why is it you why is it Burr why is it Crusher why is it Joey Diaz yeah well we're just biding time until the weekend right and practicing yeah yeah it's the one of the weird art forms that you can't practice you can't practice alone you have to use an audience yeah don't think I'll for sure and even like I'll be telling
► 00:10:46the same gel and I won't really change the words but will be like an inflection it's almost like I don't know when a jazz musician or something like plays a note just a little differently you know you ever notice how the job won't work me because I'm I'm like making a meal out of this word but if I kind of just like throw it away yeah it all now that fixes it it's interesting to do a long enough we realize it's like it's not the words sometimes there's like a performance new wants to it to fix the joke yeah it's on papers the same joke you know what's really weird is that none of this shit is written anywhere mmm look what we're talking about you know the worst is like I did JFL they're doing a taping out there for TV and they're like send us your transcript so that means yet to sit at a computer and like it right here it takes the magic like whatever your seven minutes you want to do for the taping they want you to sit on like on a Mac and open up word and be like hi guys doing it or whatever just like type it all out you need a better manager no but I think I refuse I didn't do it I just died
► 00:11:46that I have to leave because I used to do it in the past and I was like yeah they're asking me to write this out it's taking all the fun and organic I feel it would really hurt my performance yeah if I literally wrote a transcript and I'm like a robot up there and he was like just don't do it and I go what happens is like nothing nothing happened what do you think I'm done it a million times that just keep just be dodgey some pencil Pusher that doesn't make any sense I think they get you know they have power over people that don't have a name yet I think that people above them breathing down their neck and then you know shit rolls downhill so then they keep on asking like where is it where is it change your number yeah yeah well that's why I had like the Reps going to be a buffer and yeah very aloof and like he's very busy they contact you at all it was a direct 2-U thing as I would I would see them throughout the fast and they're lovely people I love these people but I'd say we're they'd be like yeah yeah yeah and now I play the game a little better I go I'm not there yet I'm not I'm not in your mother's pussy level yet let's look at it like
► 00:12:46it's your mother's pussy yeah where's the transcript you can check another place for that I thank him up your muscles as a fax machine I found it to her it should be in there yeah she go check check around the corner yeah so it's the worst having to type it out it's also like just for laughs is a weird situation it's evolved right use well yes it's a weird way of looking at it used to be very valuable for Canadians yeah now it's very valuable for Just for Laughs because they have this enormous platform and you go there and everybody knows it all these great comedians going to be there and they make an enormous amount of money off the comedian's it used to be the comedians would go there because the end because the industry would go there and the whole key to the whole thing was development deals for sitcoms and they tossed out so much money I always hear about the gold rush and the Heyday of JFL deals are getting thrown out left and right and like lives were made I don't know
► 00:13:46cheerful but fake lives were made to like they they've ruined it like because I have a theory about people who aren't convenience like they think they see people laughing and stuff and they see something's funny they think it's funny but a comedian go this is just tricks yeah yeah yeah well because the amount the volume of Comedy that we want on a regular basis hmm is so much so we can discern like you know that I'll talk about this all those who watch We're students accommodate we watch a lot of Comedy people can get like a huge pop out of the room but like Ian can cut through the bullshit and now that like oh that's a parlor trick yeah so it's a different type of thing but I think a lot of times you know suits and everything they just hear decibels right place right time and they believe this lightning rod moment or whatever this great set isn't it is indicative of their entire Community being instead of like a lucky roll yeah do you ever heard what is that guy's name was his name chicken is that
► 00:14:46I was here that as an example like I heard you blew the roof he was the guy that ended it all like literally because I think they gave him a half a million dollars or something crazy like that kind of want to see this chicken set like what was the set that just blew everybody's mind he was a handsome fella and he was young and he was very energetic and they thought he was going to be the next Jim Carrey did you see him around within a leg I know I don't know where he was from but I saw him at Just for Laughs I saw him quite a few times and he was a nice guy but he was terrible I mean in the way that like it was just a bunch of black but it was no substance to it there's no thought to it so they tried to put it together the tried to make like a development deal and he did a little touring but it all went South and it fell apart eventually committed suicide do you know how many years he was doing I'm self in front of a school a school yeah like that like that's what I had heard like he hung himself on a tree
► 00:15:46front of a school geez this is the last piece of performance art I don't know if that's true see the thing is like I shouldn't even say it on a podcast and millions of people goes to but I did but the hanging part is right right yeah she definitely commit suicide which it's one of those things man were like if it didn't work out and he didn't develop it didn't he didn't he never became like a legit comedian everything all right over there Jimmy yeah I think if like if that had happened and he actually had I don't know the equity of a stand-up comedian and been doing it for a long enough yes that would be like a bump in the road but you can come back from that oh yeah if that's just sort of like your lotto ticket mmm then that's why it was so drastic I think well some people are just not there great Comics but they're not really into acting they're not the best at act and they got kind of forced into acting yeah I love Mitch Hedberg joke or he's a great stand up you know and there's like you know they'll come up to me and they'll be like can you act like that's like going up to a chef and being like can you farm yeah that's true I mean I'm butchering it but yeah but
► 00:16:46they're such different things but it's a you have an agent right the agent wants to make money so it's an Avenue for cash yeah and you know you look at Seinfeld and Tim Allen and Roseanne and Brett Butler or there's all these comedians the 90s had made a assload of money yeah doing sitcoms well that's the quicker payoff to I even noticed with my own career like when I was a younger comedian out here in my early 20s when I move from Seattle like when I first got reps and stuff I was going out on these auditions for like CW shows or just whatever they just throw you against the wall you're an actor comedy is this thing you do at night right then I really give a shit that you do stand-up if I don't even think you're funny you know yeah it's just a cute thing you do it's like a kid like a dance recital or something like they don't care as long as you're going these auditions in the daytime so they just hope that you hit on what like a series regular yeah and then that's some cash flow for the biz but luckily I mean I don't know I think you're so your successes are carved by your failures
► 00:17:46some kind of fortunate that I would get some acting things here and there but never anything substantial enough to take me away from stand-up will never anything substantial the worst is when they tell you to stop doing stand-up because it's messing with your acting role like that's they did a Tim Allen oh really this is acting he was you know he was on Home Improvement was a gigantic kit they're making kazillion dollars but he was a I don't want to say he was a blue comedian but he some of it was a little risque so how did Saget deal with it he stopped doing stand-up oh ok so he stopped dude Saget stop doing stand-up forever forever he really didn't start doing it again until after that show was done I feel like was that show again whole house house yeah he stopped doing it for a long time and then kind of drifted his way back in and now he does it regularly yeah I think that's you know maybe they did that at the time but it's almost detrimental to let go stand-up is your car
► 00:18:46like it's your business you're in control over in the TV stuff it's like one hand washes the other if you let that go you're letting go of this Revenue stream so that when the acting gig is over your kind of fucked because this wasn't like building along with it you want it also was a point of confidence where you understand what's funny and what it isn't like you know how to be funny because you're funny in front of a live audience and all the time yeah you're the store you have to be there so much like your there more than someone at your life you would expect some of your level to be at you have to be a you can't slack off everyone knows those really famous guys at slacked off and started to suck uh-huh and the good thing is nowadays the cycle of Comedy we all do a special basically every two years pretty much all of us Burr Kreischer Segura re kind of everybody kind of does a special tries to do a special or somewhere around every two years so every two years you throw it all out and you're a beginner again yeah you've no fucking axe you're terrified have to come up with new premises and scramble and that
► 00:19:46fires a lot of Performing yeah I like how we was on here talking about it was cool to hear a guy like him even talk about just the dilution of specials where he's like they're not special anymore it's just like a flyer or like a brochure I'm pretty sure that I'm still around yes that's all it is a little bit yeah I mean obviously there's different degrees of polish with something specials and how great some of them are but there's so many now it's a weird name special yeah we'll just left over from yesteryear it's like wire albums a certain length Place yeah but at least an album is like a collection of music that is all in one thing that you get that's kind of been consistent forever a special it's like what is it anymore hmm what is it I guess 45 minutes to an hour of joke strung together yeah yeah to let everybody know but it's also like an album like if you go to see Fleetwood Mac I don't know why the fuck I came up with Fleetwood Mac right now like Fleetwood Mac I do too yeah but you're expecting the hits or as a comic You're Expecting the shit that's not on the
► 00:20:46so expecting all new stuff yeah yeah that is interesting sometimes you'll get them where they're like do the that's a very rare type of area that's like Gaffigan gets that for sure because he's got some Classic Bits And I think that also happens with Russell Peters I think he gets some requests for Classic Bits And we get that no they do I don't know how to do them anymore I know I purge them I barely know yeah someone was yelling out Bruce Jenner the other day I was like I can't do that but I don't know how to do it I'll fuck it up yeah like you don't want it you don't want me to do a sad version of his like what you could remember where our forget the taglines no let me do it again we start again redo guy fucked up guys how fucked up fun you were having yeah it's go back to one so you are one of the rare comedians doesn't smoke pot yeah I guess so talked about that and it's kind of interesting especially being in this industry not taking advantage of that cause it's all especially the store like you'll do a show and they're like hey you what these three bags these three pillowcases of weed and
► 00:21:46the oil and you like single CD loyal either I would not like is it good which is great for you what would I use it for it's great for anxiety is great for reduces inflammation it's great for a lot of people use it for sleep it's like it's just good for you it's like it's a it's a nutrient you know it's like it's healthy for you yeah it's hot right now it's very hot if I wasn't busy but like get CBD on the phone loves you but I love it CBDs know of it bitty how you doing yeah can always out see beneath that canola is bullshit that's bad for you can you cook a DVD that's a good question I bet you can't I would imagine it has a low flash point
► 00:22:30like it would burn quickly I don't know let's find out it's usually mixed with kind of thing I think people coconut oil as a high flash point wait doesn't grape seed oil have a low grapes you know I think has a high flash point to I think it's good to cook with okay so it takes longer for yeah okay it's a high temperature flat high before it smokes people said they've cooked with it yeah fucking burnouts donors bunch of losers but they stink
► 00:22:59there's some people that do everything with weed they need to just stop where's the Hem people I feel like you don't hear from them as much of an error yeah there was hemp like laying in wait yeah it was that like the back door like some tempers cool like what about well CBD is for grandma that's how you get people to vote for it because Grandma and Grandpa use it and it helps their joints right they're like well I'll tell you what this CBD I mean it's not doing anything from the brain I'm not getting high but my joints never felt better feel amazing CBD and I'm going to vote for it and I really want to get a hold of trump and let them know it's not bad CBD is it really is what is what is the region from the guy yeah it's red its random random old guy from the middle of nowhere CBD which has revolutionized nutrition and really affected my life in a very positive way I think you know your little South maybe Maryland maybe somewhere outskirts of Baltimore people don't know you have that gear
► 00:23:57forget you do voice it really well I don't have that many though I can only do a few I think are you the type though where if you're doing a bit and you need this person to talk or whatever you'll figure it out yeah I can get a few years a few voices I can get out yeah yeah because you're Alex Jones and like well you know Alex so well I've known Alex for like more than 20 years so it's just easy yeah I've hung out with that guy we've been hammered together so many times it's like it's that is the most misunderstood guy on the planet he just needs somebody next to him that's what he needs someone to go Alice let's slow down like you had a really good point there but he's need a manager who's always get them he even agree with me we talked about I said you just need like a rational journalist who's next to you to like stuff he goes you're right you're right you're right I do need that just you need someone who's just a balance is it that look he was right about all this Jeffrey Epstein shit that is a fucking fact Alex Jones called this years ago years ago he was saying that they take
► 00:24:57a lot of famous people to this island and they have all these young girls that this guy hooks them up with he was talking about this years ago now it is mainstream news and those human hybrid yes it R experiments yes yes what sound like a complete joke when he when he brought it up we were like we were like what now it's fucking mainstream news this is a fact man like people want to write that guy off because he'll tell you he's crazy he'll let you know he's crazy I mean I on my show there was one of the favorite funny things you ever said he's like look I'm gonna be honest with you I'm kind of retarded and fell to the ground laptev but that's who he really is man people just have him lumped in you know it's like some people they don't represent the best aspects of themselves right to people and then other people try to Define them like people try to Define you it's really one of the things that it's really kind of weird about the more famous you get the more people try to Define you in a way that's detrimental or a way that's
► 00:25:57dismissive and limited yeah I've noticed that after this Bernie Sanders thing that I did so anybody listening to this you if you're saying this I am not right wing at all so stop saying that it's silly it's foolish I've interviewed right-wing people I am 100% left-wing the only thing that stops me from the only things that I disagree with about left-wing people his support for the military support for police and the Second Amendment it's probably it everything else across the board Eileen way left in terms of like Bernie Sanders made a ton of sense to me and I would 100% vote for him Tulsi gabbard is my favorite I mean I'm not I'm not a right wing person so this nonsense like so many people were saying that you know that Bernie Sanders spent this time on a right-wing podcast like what what are you saying sure and don't you think he weighed the pros and cons of like it was an opportunity for him and I think everyone thought was a win and when he had any idea who I was really yeah I think it was one of his young staff members whose friends with Kyle
► 00:26:57Minsky who is a really good left-wing Progressive Talk Show guy on YouTube and Kyle hooked it all up and this this idea that you know it's bad for someone to talk to people it's just it's foolish this is a weird thing that's going on right now I thought it was a great platform for him to like get his ideas out there and to be heard and something other than just sound bites yeah that could be taken out of context it's a great platform I think for anyone who's running for anything to have a long-form conversation and it's good for us too because we get to find out who they really are you really can't hide in a long conversation yeah three hours yeah you can't I like doing our and 10 with burning that's all he had because you know the guys running for he's legit running for president he could be president right he's not like you know like there's some people that are running for president like all right bro and I like was that guy Zoltan what is his name he was the guy was running the transhumanist platform
► 00:27:57istvan how do you say his last name very nice guys are just for this come now is the last one it was 2016 we had them on but you know it's like one of those guys are all right like Ben gleib you like good luck you think Ben's gonna win oh I do okay oh yeah but you gotta respect the swing that's what's great about this country you know when I swing the swing we talking about you could run for president no not that Frank just like anybody could run from yeah yeah it sounds far-fetched like yeah okay hmm But I mean you gotta be crazy enough to think you can be you well look anything can and will happen when it comes to being present like people get assassinated people get exposed as being a criminal like look do you remember when Michael avenatti was the hero of the left the Democratic party's like he's the guy that's gonna run against Donald Trump and he's gonna take him down because he's tough and he's dissing he's fat and Michael have a naughty my can have it on I mean that your there's a
► 00:28:56population of left wing pundits talking about the hero that is Michael avinashi you don't hear a fucking word from that guy anymore so if you were in a time capsule right a year ago when everyone was Michael avinasi crazy and they just shot and then when they woke you up for him it's 12 months later and you'd be like looking at the news and where's our guy finality I mean I was that happens on well so let's build it they'll have their champion and then this other shit you know yeah do your are there's always they ascend and then there's some like dark shit from the past and then you don't see them anymore but then there's guys that you know like one of the things that I was getting at during the Trump campaign when he's running for president the first time was like this guy's not going away like this is not going away he knows what he's doing he knows how to what did you know like how how like early in the campaign did you kind of realize I don't know man but my also did you do you feel like you had a better read on it just doing stand-up across the country because I feel like you could be in a bubble you could be in New York and la and just be like oh that's never gonna happen this is ridiculous
► 00:29:56you're doing stand-up in some red States you kind of your with the people you're doing jokes and like you get a temperature of an audience more so than someone who just has a desk job for sure but also I have a lot of right wing friends a lot of right wing friends especially from the hunting world I have a lot of friends that live in like I have friends who live in Iowa and Oregon and they have a lot of right wing friends too and there's the whole part of the country that the big cities New York and Los Angeles and the big democratic-leaning cities they were all dismissing the Democrats thought that Hillary was the most experienced in Trump was a buffoon and that that Grabber by the pussy tape that was it we got it it's in the bag they all believe that but the middle of the country did not believe in her they didn't trust her they thought she was some
► 00:30:46sleazy politician who's been involved in the business forever and she licks her finger and figures out which way the winds blowing and that's what she says and that they they thought the Trump was a straight shooter and he's going to train that swamp and he's gonna do this and bring jobs back and he's talking about Clean Coal it's almost like I think he's just so outside of the system like that it seemed like it could done anything just like we want someone to throw a wrench into it yes that's it there's a lot of people that just wanted a wrench thrown into it and he definitely threw a wrench into it and I think ultimately that's going to be good for the left as well because they're going to realize that you can't just get away with that same stupid old school politician style of doing it anymore I think he's just blowing up the Playbook even like even like Bernie calling Trump was a stupid or an idiot in a post or something like amazing this is a new paradigm yes like they're adopting they're taking Pages out of well work for Trump yeah look we've got a we've got to take
► 00:31:46bully tactics and then even a Moscow Mitch I'm like oh they get it mmm nicknames are the only thing that's thick yeah yelling and then the rally like Moscow Mitch like yeah this is part of the Playbook now sleepy Joe Biden yeah that's my favorite is this as evolved as we like to think that we get as adults when it comes to politics it goes back to grade school the only thing that seems to be effective is yelling Moscow Mitch or you know sleepy Joe Biden or Pocahontas yep these are these are like stand-up rules just like Rickles just Mmm Yeah it's so interesting and what my favorite about the Pocahontas one was when people were saying that he's racist for calling Elizabeth Warren Pocahontas it's a Disney movie you can't you can't you can't go that fast song called me Aladdin I'd be Juiced a lot in school he's a little monkey he'll eat apples yes did you see the Mansion one I did was pretty good yeah got bad reviews I didn't really stand it people don't like selling what they did
► 00:32:46felt what I read was that Will Smith modernized it too much what does that mean like I prefer a classic Janie oh they used Modern urban for now yeah they just weren't uncomfortable with that remember how you know the first photos came out of Will Smith as a genie I love how little it takes to whip this nation into a frenzy like I'll wake up and open up Twitter and then Will Smith Genie everyone is freaking out over that and yeah crazy how how we put them on the same pedestal like some sort of Trumps candle or like pedophile Island and then the Blue Genie or sonic looks weird right Sonic the Hedgehog will write them both both take on the same amount of fervor on yeah same amount of psychic energy yeah yeah one of my I think one of the biggest gaps biggest mistakes ever was Ben Affleck thinking he could be Batman if Ben Affleck never ran of her Batman he would have 50% less hate you think yes are there some people who likes or no was it a no one like
► 00:33:46and Affleck is Batman even Ben Affleck didn't like himself when was the last time you heard anybody talk about Ben Affleck as Batman ready go yeah no one Christian Bale's Batman motherfucker even Michael Caine's Batman but he's old that's so hard though you know like you're not going to hit a home run with Batman every time with everybody who does it and fail their career hits a ditch who do you think all right you think okay Kilmer level that were no from Batman well Kilmer did it once and he did a good job but then he decided to get fat he's like fuck this business what about crazy see in the Top Gun movie the new one I hope so I hope you two have a great although the lady's not in it the girlfriend the really hot blond wasn't him Kelly something another McGillis is that it yeah she was beautiful back of the day I think she might have gone the Val Kilmer route for no no plan what about Clooney
► 00:34:43you that Clooney Clooney he's fucking come selling espresso and tequila and espresso he's his was like a comedic take Arnold Schwarzenegger weight made way more money than George Clooney in that movie huh I like me and my buddies we just say cool party like we just say to each other no matter what party were at what is that an Alicia Silverstone she was in that and Chris O'Donnell but why did I forget about that he was robbing now he's on a TV show LL Cool J what is that was it it's like a NCIS or something that is something that the same people who talk like that guy was making fun of that's what they DVR that oh that's one who showed a certain parts of the country isn't it interesting to find out what their favorite shows are yeah yeah that's where all those NCIS shows that's what they get all their millions of you sure that's wonderful show Chris does a great job and he just pairs well with LL Cool J Who's he's a little aggressive to me I mean
► 00:35:43is our eyes gate fell I guess but I really love Chris I wish we get more work we should bring them back to the movies when I thank you dear an excellent Captain Kirk he could be Captain Kirk also I go to my aunt house and that's just playing all the time that's like burn note I mean that's not the other anymore but like these you have a shows yeah Jag remember John my God yeah reruns of July my brother shows on JAG love it how the thing is like we can laugh about this fails but like 20 Seasons Jag was on 4/20 sees what we were just going over Survivor the other day Survivor was on when Fear Factor debuted was already on the air and that Fear Factor came out in 2001 or to somewhere around right after September 11th I remember that because I remember being asked questions like was it appropriate to have a show about fear after September 11th like that some some guy asked me that I literally wanted to climb to the phone strangle them I'm like yeah fucking bitch
► 00:36:43to the was it like that's nonsense what are you walking so stupid like I'm sorry I didn't know that fear would play such a factor for you yeah but so survivors been on what do we say it was twenty eight thousand Seasons honor 39th I believe 39 she's it's still going yes you didn't even know I think the Amazing Race is still going to remember that shows yeah yeah CBS is killing it yes 11 D award every year for the Emmys like best show for best game show whatever reality is I don't know what that is but yeah wow 12 times in a row or something crazy did you like Fear Factor more than because I remember I loved Newsradio because of my favorite shows so did you enjoy that more Fear Factor there different things they're definitely different things I enjoyed the paycheck from Fear Factor far more uh-huh I like working with that actors but I love Newsradio way more news radio is just a far better show so it was a really well they're different things are very different animals it ruined me it would it would
► 00:37:43it's like going from The Comedy Store to Uncle fucksticks Chuckle Hut and on a Monday night you know it's like every other sitcom that I looked at every other sitcom that a red for or that I got scripts for rather I was like this is just not good stuff isn't it interesting when you get sides like just sides just like one scene or two scenes for show and you could tell it's good just from that oh yeah that's so rare it is rare yeah when someone's a good writer good sitcom writing is hard to do man that is a really hard gig I mean there's a button then but then some people have bad sitcom writing but they know how to make a bad successful sitcom like there's bad successful sitcom actor last forever they're just unoffensive enough to stay on the air and keep you watching with your mouth slack I mean formulas exist for a reason those big bang kids they're so they're so clever with their riding that's what keeps me
► 00:38:43unni I went for the vocabulary has this guy ever shut off CBS the whole time I tried Fox but through two hostile did you know that your TV has other channel sir what yeah there's other channels of the programming could watch well when they took Bill O'Reilly out there I said CBS my channel that's my channel now yeah you ever been in the looking audition and it's terrible but everyone goes to the audit of the the Motions where from just like cracking up like its own like The Greatest Show on Earth yeah like it's Def Jam like that because the writers and directors on the room it's like they're fake life to get everybody excited yeah they have to because I think they need this Rocket Fuel to get this project off the ground yes and I need to give the writer confidence they have to give the director confidence to have to give the studio people confidence that it's all good it's a fake moment the fake laugh it's gross and the thing is though like it's also not only as a girl so but it's the 30th time there's just as there's 30 people in the waiting room mmm and they're laughing like it's the first time
► 00:39:43faking it left and right up and down and we know fake laugh we do huh it's offensive so once fake laughing at you it's almost worse than Chanel laughs it is worse to not let you know if you say a joke haha oh he'll get them out here get you get out of here you bad person yeah you you you it's the quickest way to Heckle all right just like ah one could say anything what laughing yeah it's like the Fredo thing not afraid of that for you know for nothing dude did you see that yeah of course I did you see a Jana that Chris Cuomo guy Citra Donald Trump had the best line today Donald Trump won the internet today with this he said should we red flag Chris Cuomo because he seemed unhinged he looked it was using terrible language should not have a gun he basically expose those red flag laws because like you see a guy like that he's irrational that guy's irrationally goes I'll wreck your shit I'll throw you down I like stare
► 00:40:43stairs comment that was I enjoy that like what is he talking about because a guy called you Fredo and I ain't afraid of the same thing is the n word I didn't know Fredo was drugged Tory or maybe I'm new to it I just I'm not that I would ever try to call some 1480 sometimes it's not it's a fucking character in a movie it's like Aladdin is it like there's no like I don't know cultural Kanye Italian there's no cultural context for Fredo where people like what the fuck did you say that doesn't exist it does not exist well you could say it for someone who's a traitor but why does he make sense with Chris Cuomo it's just it's just a loser you know in a movie well I guess I got you know what he's trying to do I mean obviously he's trying to insult him yes even if there is no history of this word existing for you know I'm ignorant I don't know if it does exist or not but like you know this guy's trying to take shots it's certainly not a compliment sure yeah I mean it's a loser in a movie it's a brother that always fell short and he turned
► 00:41:43it turned on his own brother who is the Godfather what if he wanted to be the Godfather if he explained this insult to Chris Cuomo that would be great was Fredo was a week Italian and in the movie and I - referencing your character yes you are the son of a great man because you know he's Mario Cuomo son mmm and you probably you know let's be honest about why you're here yeah you know the name is familiar and you know it helps yeah but it's it's that Italian energy that like again this is my pedia is my full Italian know three quarters though but these people that react that way are common it's like what the fuck did you say to me what y'all fucking wreck your shit yeah but you're not supposed to be a respected political pundit and behave like that that is nonsense yeah that's nonsense that's nonsense so it's a silly way to be
► 00:42:43it's silly that guy needs to work out will be any works out a lot tough it's tough 190 on too much testosterone so we need to take them to tell the doctor just pair you down a little bit take whatever you at just drop it by half settle down bro
► 00:42:59or just work out really hard before you go outside uh-huh do some yoga meditate I like when those because at least pretty passive town for the most part you'll get some of those you'll get like an East Coast guy and I got shit who's this guy yeah yeah yeah yeah visiting from out of town like whoa whoa no one hey Fredo yeah we don't actually fight here we just go get my shy box yeah it's it was a very embarrassing moment but I think it's a very important moment look at them first of all he is Fredo for life now I hope he understands that he's Fredo for light unless you want to get tossed down a flight of stairs you ain't tossin anybody down a flight of stairs that's nonsense he doesn't wanna get sued he's not going to do that so I'm going to touch somebody liar someone stares not doing shit not doing a goddamn thing that's one of the reasons why it's so funny he's not doing nothing this that is Fredo you'll never get away from that now better Embrace that shit better start selling Fredo t-shirts with your face all right listen
► 00:43:59there's probably going to fire them out a man when I think they're standing behind him get the fuck out of yeah yeah are they really for no I think they felt like he was attacked or unprovoked and yeah by someone calling a Fredo I'm and look up fighting words dude someone called me Fredo I'm not even Italian out snap I go how dare you he he's of silly man that that's what would exposes him is that he's a silly man it wasn't like someone was being equally aggressive to him and he was defending himself sometimes like if you're in a situation where someone's very aggressive to you you almost have to be aggressive back just to let them know hey I'll go there with you yes we could we could go to a dark place right now and you know I'm not going to let you hit me I'm not gonna let you do something to me if you think that I'm a pushover you know I'm here to defend myself but that wasn't that way like someone was mocking him and he turned violent I said it was a little bit of a complication where he just want to get a rise in his recording from down low heat they wanted him to do something they really Chris Cuomo this is CNN CNN slow
► 00:44:59they're fucking mind Chris Cuomo defended himself when he was verbally attack with the use of an ethnic slur in an orchestrated set up the spokesperson said we completely support him for now listen to me this is not done this is not done this is just beginning to take on a form of its own you can't you can't say that's an ethnic slur that is a fucking character in a mall is news to me I was like no I'm not a star and him saying that that's like calling to N word that is so Preposterous that is so offensively stupid do you ever get that like people try to take shots or get you to slip or something most people are nice yeah for the most part I've had guys to get goofy shit to me and I try to say goofy should back to that shells or just on the street or was in both things but I'm not a I'm not a hostile person yeah I look hostile yeah but I'm not hostile like I'm nice for the most I've had people get Dickey with me and what do you do how do you handle it get Dickey back just like yeah you sell three down a flight of stairs I don't see that
► 00:45:59it's just it's not the never asked relates to that it's like some people get where you know it's weird the fucking autograph people at the airport how do they like would you be surprised some time with y'all so many pay somebody off what are you doing you sign or do you keep lost all my son 1071 they get mad at me I got a stock in these I go no I'm not working for you now working for you like there's people that charge people that go to those conventions and they'll sit at a boot they'll charge someone x amount of dollars like it's like 20 bucks or more for an autographed photo I don't do that I'm not going to do that ever so I'm not I'm not I don't I don't even want you selling my picture I don't want it to be sold I don't want my autograph to be valuable but if I felt if I thought it was a really a fan and they wanted me to sign something because different yes I would sign something for him we'd be happy to stead of a four year old guy with a ponytail stack of DAC a fucking photos of me and various you're selling those I know you're selling those so some got one guy got mad at me he was like follow me around LAX I was like dude
► 00:46:59not signing any more it's like next time I see you okay Mike I'm not signing but you know my mind going one of them you're making it very valuable if you signed the whole stack line is I'm not gonna be rude I'm not gonna be rude so I'm just trying to like look I'll sign one and I tell them that I got a bunch of them in Portland so we can they were they there was like ten people met me at the airport so I'll sign one I think one is good I really cool guy Philadelphia they got mad as he tried to get me some other one I go I'm not signing that and he goes he goes you don't fuck you fucking forget your fans I know you're not a fan I go you're selling these you'll what you think they're worth a lot I go up there a while yeah this is a weird mental gymnastics like this dude you better he would like the worth your fucking autographs worth about 625 I go and you're a mooch I know you're over here trying to get me to work for you I go get a job and so we had this like weird conversation like what are you saying you want me to sign these so you could sell them but you saying they're not worth anything so I'm a loser but your meet me at the airport to try to get yourself things the size you will stop my flight it's so silly it's so silly but I just don't like the idea of it because primarily I don't like the
► 00:47:59dear that there's some weird loophole where someone can get you to work for them they're just showing up and Here sign these real quick and I'm going to sell them because it's you're asking someone to work for you even if it only takes five minutes are there taking some time off from you one guy had 30 pictures he had 30 Mega how many you got there he goes 30 I will you out of your fucking mind how funny would it be if you just hold it was a gonna take if you sat at a Starbucks and you just did them all oh yeah I called on family I'm just gonna get through these the UFC makes Fighters do that they sit down and they but they give them out to fans and they do stuff with their promotional material is not one guy that's right and everybody signs I'm like all the fighters in the card sign them and they you know they're valuable to fans as a fan like I have I have a signed poster out there from Efrain Reyes that I purchased a nephron Reyes is like the world's greatest pool player I love pool and he's this Filipino wizard they call him the wizard he's amazing pool player so I saw I bought it like it was signed by a phrase I got so excited but I would never ask
► 00:48:59friend to sign something and then cell and track them down they are poor at someone at the at the at the promotion for the tournament they probably got them assign a bunch of them they sell them and it probably was helped offset the costs and his long those lines but there's just so that the autograph collector is a different animal than autograph seller so if you're a person that is just like I love for hims comedies really funny I want to go to comment or see if I get him to sign something for me that's a fan for sure but if you have 30 of them you're going to go on eBay and you going to try to make 50 bucks that's what you're doing well you're not going to make 50 bucks I'm gonna tell you right now they might have if they hold on to sit on you're a funny guy let's not have a lot of talent that what have you seen I was surprised because like I came to the store I always see you to store you know and you're like I'm in your videos are funny and like I don't know what you watch you're just gonna sell their level I why don't I don't think it even reaches you oh that's nonsense that that other level thing is a complete total illusion a little humid tell everybody you know because you are a rarity I think of the comedian's of the store who have gotten to a certain point
► 00:49:59where you kind of have a relationship with everyone at The Comedy Store from the door guy to the waitresses to like you know stand up like me or like Santino Orient like you know you have relation with everyone you come through you spend time at the store you have you're being pulled by a lot of things like UFC and the family and all this stuff the podcast but you will hang at the store well that's a community it's very important to me that that community means it means a lot it means a lot and I like I like supporting the up-and-coming people I think it's very important I think all the door people guys worked a lot those guys are all there we're all going to work together someday you know it's very possible they'll be you know I'll be at one theater they'll be at another theater you know I'll be in the club over here they'll be the club with their we're all the same yeah it's just an illusion it's just time and I think it comes from martial arts because in martial arts everybody trains together you know I'm a black belt in Jujitsu but I'm is friendly to the white belts as I am to other blog posts we
► 00:50:59shake hands we hug if I roll I'll roll with a guy who's news just starting out I'll give them tips I'll help him out you know we're all in it together and I feel like that's the approach that I take with comedy the same approach I don't believe in this elitist shit I think it's stupid I think it's bad for everybody it's bad for the person who becomes Elite even more so than it's bad for the the up-and-coming because the Undercovers if you don't if you dismiss up-and-comers and you treat them like shit like you treat him like you're better than them you're above them you don't need to like talk to them you don't make eye contact with them you ignore them when they're trying to talk to and I've seen that from comics and I think it's bad for you for them it just makes them angry at you they can't wait till and I have been in that position before where someone's dismissed me and been shitty to me and then I surpassed them Fame was and then passed by and then they become friendly and weird with you and you never kind of remember yeah it's very strange to see the 180 and some you'll be
► 00:51:59Harmony long enough to see plenty of 180s and it's not I mean you'll give you some names after the show oh really yeah I would love that yeah name some good names juicy and then you you act however the relationship is now at this point in time yeah but that's always in the back of your mind like I remember when it was not this but there's there's also I want to give someone an opportunity for Redemption like I want to believe that they've changed yeah so I it's hard I don't want to be that mean person is like that fuck that guy for life for sure for sure but I do like hopefully that they grow that maybe they've grown as a person yeah and even been humbled because the career kind of like skid and came to an abrupt Halt and they're trying to rebuild yeah they used to be someone that thought that they could there was a time mostly pre-internet where Comics looked forward to doing a couple things one for one thing they look forward to was bumping people doing a lot of time yeah they like but the bumping people was the big part it wasn't just
► 00:52:59time so if you do any time thing if you like Dave Chappelle calls up and says I want to do a half an hour nobody cares like he's really good about to he'll wait till everyone's gone up and then he'll go on down at the end of the night he's a beautiful person I love that guy to death he's the exception to the Superstar rule because he's a sweetheart of a guy but there are some that wanted that spot of the bumper where they could just show up and my God Mike's here Mike's here for him I'm sorry mykes going up Mike has to go up and Mike looks he like I'm going up you know like there's a few of those guys fed them yeah feed some if he's them to let them the let you know that you're not on their level yeah I've heard him like that happens way less now oh yeah yeah yeah well first of all because people like us talk about it on podcast like if this one guy that was like a super dick to you and you're like let me tell you something Joe there's a fucking guy you know it's we're all Comics man just like when you go to a Jiu-Jitsu school you take a class
► 00:53:59or two classes you're a fucking martial artist you know you might suck yeah but you're a martial artist if you're up on that goddamn stage your comic in my eyes you're just like me I'm just I've been doing it for 30 years and you've been doing it for Less yeah yeah that's what it is that's that that's the only difference it's just a time in and if you get 30 years down and what you get out of those 30 years is that you're better than everybody and that you can act like you're better than everybody in your aloof and your dismissive you've missed everything they look beautiful like when I come to the store yeah I like that I get hugs yeah yeah it's always hustling for the first are coming back like I would just think like I'd be on the wall or whatever be like yo what's up what's up hey man I give me a hug you know and like we haven't really like talked a ton but that something as little as that goes so far well that's nice yeah I hope it does go far I'm want I want Comics to feel good about the community that we have
► 00:54:59yeah I remember cause when I got past the store it was the Dark Ages like I know the stories had various Dark Ages Bobby talks about like the 90s and stuff but you are the ice house so like you weren't even really part of the story we're still just like going there a lot yeah yeah so it was very cool for you to come back and Adam take over and then it just kind of evolved into what it is now it's crazy because I remember when it was not that and there's kind of a beauty in it though I'm like pretty fortunate in hindsight that I got passed then what year was this I think I passed in like 2010 yeah that was three years into the Dark Ages the Dark Ages start of 2007 huh yeah yeah it's all so crazy to like know that you know the history and see the video and then oh I exist on this timeline now yeah the store was just you know what I'm living in Seattle it's this Faraway place even Hollywood and entertainment all that it's just this place that exists on a box it's not real it isn't it isn't right this isn't a real thing and then you move to LA and I'm hanging at The Improv I'm a ghost you know people are walking through
► 00:55:59you know when you first come to town yeah man I swear to God like I'm literally I'm like guys I do comedy in a walking through me and I'm just like my hands aren't and I would just hang out and that's part of the deal you just have to realize leaving your apartment is a win and itself like you may not be getting up as much as you want to but even just like being out it's a win yeah because I don't be like oh you should do my you know because out of sight out of mind yep so I would just loiter at The Improv I was nobody and then I would say like it was like Sandler and someone and maybe Kevin James I think Sandler Kevin James the what and that was like I'm sure that's very standard I mean I've been here so long it's a very standard now you see million people like I very rare I don't get Starstruck at all but it is kind of like a fuck because those are people in a box those are people in the box that I watch right and they just walked in so that was kind of like a little mindfuck an adjustment you know well when I was in Boston in 1988 when I started Mecca was the store man cat was where prior performance
► 00:56:59didn't Sam Kinison and Hicks started out there and Hicks he's two steps and he was a doorman there and you know Letterman was there and Robin Williams was there it was just it was Mecca and I thought when I first started doing comedy when I first when I realized like okay this is what I want to do like after the first set I ever did I was like okay this is what I'm doing I'm doing this now I'm all-in you know took me a while to get funny but I mean I had it in my head that I was going to get the con The Comedy Store oh yeah and then when I finally got there I remember thinking how surreal it was because I was like I guess I was twenty-six twenty-five no 25 or 26 I think the first time I step foot in the store and I were sitting in the back of the room going holy shit I can't fucking believe I'm here isn't it odd it's it's just a place yeah but it isn't it's not it's not just a place I know but like when you just a manifestation of the place like okay to Stage there's chairs there's a table you ever see in the daytime
► 00:57:58yeah all right this is the just the space it on it feels like it's waiting yeah like it's waiting but doesn't come alive until nighttime yeah it's like a bedded animal like a hibernating bear yeah and at nighttime man the drink start clanking and you know the commie starts flowing and Jeff starts playing the piano it's an interesting room to when you first started doing it was it difficult because it's not a Nat it's not a it's not an easy room the or is only yeah the Ori consider the or The Comedy Store yes people will come through and be like oh yeah I've been in the store I go I go what room they're like where's one of the main room okay cool my name is cool but it's not the heart and soul of The Comedy Store the Omar's intimate nothing gets lost right the main room you kind of have to be it's so big and there's that second tier you know how this stuff goes up to like be able to have that laughs wave hit that back row yeah you're really working your performing and at the stage is so big
► 00:58:58have to be more theatrical to kind of do a serviceable job in that room but in the or it's like literally you just watching a man gather it's not a woman you know just like you could be real you can be you don't have to be like right you have to predict this much yeah yeah well there's different kinds of Comedy right what's the largest crowd ever done I've been watching your stories and stuff and that's fucking insane like even when you're in the green room and you just hear these murmurs it sounds like you know like an angry mob is going to kill yourself use your overall it's quite they're all just like filtering into this giant theater maybe 3,000 or 4,000 and that was that was a trip for that's big but you notice when you do 3,000 or 4,000 that there's like you have to give them more pause oh yeah more time for the set the the joke the punchline is Saddle the last to settle before you move on to another but was another great about doing it so long is Stand-Up is this conversation
► 00:59:58the audience so you know the wait yeah like you have inherent timing yeah another comic would just kind of know the timing of the club and just like plow into the next joke while they're still getting last month theater yeah you can't do that if but I took I was talking about this yesterday with Tom Papa that one of the reasons one is one of the best lessons that I ever had was actually sitting in the audience at one a Richard not Richard Lewis blacks not rich Lewis on the why confusing I mean I was confused yeah the word Louis Louis black show in New Jersey he was there the night before me and Joey Diaz and I sat in the audience and he would hit a punchline and people would laugh and then he would hit the tag and I couldn't hear the tag because all the other people are laughing around us and I was like oh you got to be like a little more tentative yeah you got you can't just Hammer them like in the store at the or you can Hammer them punchline punchline punchline punchline you could beat the fucking shit out of them that way and it's a different kind of Comedy
► 01:00:58if you have that style of Comedy you might struggle a little bit with the theater and you'll definitely struggle in an arena Arenas and amphitheaters or another animal I feel like just having no ceiling how does that work is that gonna Saturday night that's differences music huh I had a great time we had a great time Ali malenkov ski killed she had a great time Ian killed it was fun it was fun but it's definitely different think it yet I think it's different because I think there's such fans you know obviously that like they're going to be tuned in yeah that's how it's different when you're like I'll do some Festival sometimes or I mean back in the day you do a college or something and it's just outside and if they don't know who the fuck you are yeah and it's daytime and it's outside yeah you flew to pick up a check all you gotta do is not lose your mind on stage and you can collect your check if you like shopping like then you're not gonna get money well it's a matter of whether or not you're having fun if you're having fun and you enjoy performing and you your materials good
► 01:01:58so you know it's good yeah have fun sure and whoever's tuning in and have a good time and the absurdity of the situation is funny but obviously it's not going to be like a regular Club set or some yeah dude I'll take you if you want to come I'll take you I'll take you one of the great no I mean that just seems like such a mind trip it's like that's what that would be like a stand-up float tank well you know Al he's only 22 yeah she's so young yeah she's and I've been taking her with me and her and Ian came last weekend my favorite and the first Arena she ever did well here's a lie right she's done clubs with me but she doesn't improve with me all the time she was a store with me all she's a she was the door at the store store beauty of the system restore it's like one of the last places like that where there's a system in place and yeah she works the door of the store and she performed in front of 10,000 people online and went back to checking IDs yes that's the mindfuck of being a young comic yeah do these crazy things and then you're back at your job but she's wild and hungry and yes I don't worry about Allie she's fine she's
► 01:02:58Rhea she's really down to two but you know so the first big show she had done before that was the Mirage in Vegas I love that Clause I love ya I love that club I started doing that club and then I went to bigger Arenas and I came back to that club because it was so much fun because most of the time when I do Vegas I do it the night before you have see like on Friday night and I was doing these big giant places like the coffee être which is like a hundred foot tall see more than a hundred feet tall ceiling it's Cirque du Soleil place but it was too weird it wasn't it wasn't the right setup for comedy and the Mirage is so perfect I just a Terry fade or something yeah yes yes yes so went back to the so that was the first time she'd ever done anything big and she walked out there like she fucking own the place she like she owned it yeah she's like she had a bat the the best that I ever saw her have there and then I said okay you want to do Arenas she's like ah so
► 01:03:57that's Bond so we did this crazy place in Portland Portland was insane man goddamn it was off the charts almost too big almost to two hours what was the joke almost too big but almost too powerful do they do concerts in their normally or what is that space basketball oh shit that's what the Blazers play yeah for real yeah whoa you'll be great it's like this whole T-shirt cannon before your set Yours a donk yeah I had a my buddy campaigns who lives in Eugene which is real close to there was in that same place a couple weeks before that for a game he's like dude I can't fucking believe you're coming here to do comedy like what is this yeah it was nuts you'd almost think it's like a consumer of Comedy what is that experience like and is it still like the Beats of got to be so different than like a club like that was fun man I was watching Ian on stage and he was murdering and I was laughing my ass off it was great it's all in the Acoustics of the building and the motor Center in Portland is a really new theater or a new Arena it's
► 01:04:57really well made so the Acoustics are excellent this is nothing is lost because that's my word like in a space that big that no one can hear what you're saying and it's modeled and I've done some big places where it's not the best I've done some big places where you hear a little Echo and you're like oh this could be a problem so you have to be a little clearer with what you say like you almost gotta take some of the spice out of your joke you know spice out of your delivery because it's it's a little echoey the best though the best is the ice house or the store for The Improv like 200 people 300 people bam just bam that's why comedy clubs are certain size hmm if it ain't broke don't fix it it's also because that's all they could see you know there's been I mean it's hard to sell like like Wesley Prof like Joe Rogan Comedy clubs and they're all like 20,000 sees well yeah I mean it's all so when Joe comes around or having a tough time getting people to come out it's I mean how many there's not that many people that are doing those places like
► 01:05:57heart Dave and like oh that's so crazy to like you guys teaming up to do a tour Almost sure comedy fan how great is that dude we did 25,000 people in Tacoma we broke the all you got my brother and I think yeah he hit up Ian and Ian was like because I think I was in London so I was sleeping with the time is off so then he just DMG and he was like Hey I'm thinking brother can I come to the show the day things are crazy though because he brings a DJ and Donnell Rawlings gets out there and gets everybody hyped up and it's the fucking DJs in between the sets Cha Cha Cha Cha it's like he's getting Next Level yeah it's so next level it's got concert yeah passages you feel crazy like this really hot like even Dave he was like this is fucking crazy man like we were all like this is today him to say this is crazy we were all like this was crazy we all realize this is something because people are so pumped that we're doing it together yeah it was man it's like like the Watch the Throne to her Kanye and Jay-Z yeah yeah we're gonna do
► 01:06:57more we're trying to figure out where and how but we had a great fucking time why not so rock star shit they show up at places and have IVs ready they do intravenous vitamin infusions of glutathione and how to be 12 shots how did you feel after like I could run through a fucking real yeah so how do we create Awards how did you feel before and then after we just like out of it I heard you know we're traveling and we're up late the night before and then you get Juiced up with vitamins and you just like where's that tree yeah you feel fucking excellent
► 01:07:33this I guess you know they don't rock stars know what they're doing yeah and I'm sure you're only doing a fraction of what they do their derocker yeah we're doing coke and then and they have something different an IV they probably have some other bag we don't even know about probably yeah that's probably some illegal shit and yeah like they're probably do an NAD they're probably doing a lot of different things yeah yeah but looks inside at the end of the day though
► 01:08:00back to the Grind like tonight I'm doing the belly room you know it's so funny just like in the bamboo room to in the belly room then I'm doing improv we got it 10:30 at the Improv tank double dip yes always you ever do you don't do Factory really huh is that cause a tape yes okay yeah they taped me they tape everybody they put your shit on but like I said we're not gonna do anymore but they still have the camera mmm he's not trust that because like they'll send it to me with a clips and I'll be like I don't it's not ready here I don't want to put it out there and then they respect it that's what Bill Burr said yeah and then I found a shit online mm oh yeah look at that he's like what the fuck like yeah man like somebody working there that's not listening to this you know and maybe they don't do that anymore and I hope they don't but but why chance it just doesn't feel good it's just that yeah especially when it was it was very poor the way it was handled was like you should be happy that we're putting it online it was not good I'll tell you all about it later okay but it's just there's plenty of room at the Improv and the store yeah I don't need to go there
► 01:08:59and I wish it I mean I hope it does well it's a great Club it's fun to work at sure you know I know what you mean though it's like I'm in Tarzana now and like so it'll be like hey do you wanna do this show in Irvine and that's just like saying my shows on Mars Irvine at 8 o'clock you might as well leave your house yesterday but Burke can you Chopper me too yeah remaining to shop with her no You Gotta Go hose working at Boeing I had a co-worker who was learning well he had his hours up and everything so he flew he flew Choppers and during our lunch break is like you want to go in the chopper Jesus was like sure so then he's like let's take the doors off what that's a guy's trying to kill you nah but like mine was crazy I figure when else am I gonna go on a chopper it's true so for my lunch break I want a chopper with this guy I recorded it wow and then I said my mom saw and she's like flipped out she's like what are you yeah if I had a son and I was a woman and my little boy
► 01:09:59I was in a plane flying around doors and lock the doors off ya maybe you didn't serve them on the shoulder and told her like that was my coworker yeah yeah you should've said it was like a superhero isn't fighter pilot he's a military guy yes have 20 years experience yeah yeah it's weird when you go up in a bird with like someone you know though so well I did it first in high school when I was in high school my friend Mike Mike War Bell who was taken a small plane lessons and we flew around this little small plane these like fucking he was my age maybe he was older than me like one year I think I was 16 he was 17 maybe maybe but no more than that he's got to trust them and like flying in a fucking plane he had a co-pilot was like an instructor so that's better than yeah it was taking lessons with him but that was the first time I was ever in a little tiny ass plane I was in high school or even want to do that I have no desire to do that it seems like a rough way to die I just don't like even with all the training and all that just totally resolved
► 01:10:59Rose mmm like of JFK couldn't do it well I think the JFK story was more complicated I think he was involved with I think that that flight was like no visibility I think you ran into fog and then like a more experienced pilot would have known the weather conditions yeah aren't the best to be going up yes and also you have to understand how to read the gauges because you got to know what altitude you're at and the gauges have to be a hundred percent functional and I don't know what the whole story was with his death but I believe Google or they're not JFK's body had cocaine in it
► 01:11:38Google that no RFK what's his name Jeff EJ King jr. not RFK JFK jr. is body had cocaine in it because I think there was some cocaine involved if I'm not mistaken it's like fuck I can fly in the clouds I'm in the clouds bigger doesn't even have any like lessons we just like I fit in the plane I think he knew how to fly and I think he was I think he was unprepared for know it's you know how it is like he was off the cape right wasn't someone near Massachusetts that fucking those clouds get thick bro I mean you don't see Jack shit so you're flying around in that like imaginative yeah fly off you want 500 miles an hour and right in front of you is white that's all you see 500 miles an hour through the white and just knowing kind of just knowing this isn't a good situation yeah you're fucked and you kind of know yeah well when I lived in Colorado I remember there was a time that I was driving up this hill we were pretty high up where about 8,000 feet above sea levels 3,000 feet above Boulder
► 01:12:38and as we're driving through the hills up to the house the fucking clouds were so thick you couldn't see five feet in front of the car so you're driving on a Mountain Road at sometimes has no railings to the left or to the right and it's just death to the left and you're driving up this Mountain Road you can't see Jack shit so you literally have to turn the fog lights on so the regular headlights are no good you shut those off and you have to have fog lights on cause fog lights just kind of like the ground yeah that's why they exist yeah that like people always like people didn't think what a fog light is because most time you don't really have to deal with fun fog light is a little like down below you see a little bit yeah sort of blinding it this way otherwise you just see bright white did he say anything about that but they were the check info wars.com the wrong Source dude use Google but being is being it Jamie 8:30 9:00 at night and they were flying over water that had no features so they're over water it was dark and foggy yeah basically pitch black yeah and he didn't have a flight plan either and he
► 01:13:38an instructor that offered to go with them you wanted to do it alone oh what but you didn't find anything about cocaine I Googled that nothing popped up they did something popped up that they might have had a past of that but it's nothing said can you put it I know I read top see nothing said that okay maybe I made it up it's possible let's put it in the Wikipedia page just just think my memory vary so wildly it's confusing and I'm wondering if it's old age or if it's just a just an overwhelming amount of data in my brain and my hard drive is just completely run out of space maybe there's some overlap like I said earlier story for sure there is because I'll have conversations with someone sometimes and they'll ask me where we'll be talking about something oh well that's not exactly how it happened this is what happened because this because as they evolve they develop the ability to do this and that and I'm not I just had no this I'm like why do I know if someone goes what are you a fucking biologists like no I'm an idiot yeah I do retain a lot remember things I'm like I don't retain something hmm sometimes I forget who I was talking to
► 01:14:38who said water how where this idea came from it's weird yeah it's not / selective man it's not that good it's like but it helps when I'm taking nootropics which I didn't today today I didn't take any Alpha Brain we don't why don't we have any here how come you don't have any here oh give me though thank you oh man how does this work well your brains going to grow hope your head can really it's flexible just like flexible the headphones as well from the head a lot you used to use used to rather throw this in here yeah yeah used to work at Boeing is this like an Elon Musk moment guys know this is gonna be a mural isn't it crazy yeah crazy for me to I mean I didn't even think twice about giving him we'd really you didn't think I got this will be a moment it was just you know it's odd we're just hanging out me and my buddy Elam yeah smoke a little weed like normal like stock oh there's like no you see the Ross Baines painting in the green room we're in the cloud it says 6% oh no yeah go look at
► 01:15:38the smoke cloud again because he lost six percent of the stock cheese but it got back it was up to 9% the next day went up three percent but his street cred went fucking through the roof dude I drove his car here that guy deserves everything he gets that car is goddamn time machine I'm still a Mazda 3 2007 man myself yeah I'm a purist nice sometimes I'll get a brochure in the mail like get the 2019 Mazda3 like I'm gonna put a bullet in my head if I get to Mazda 3 in a row don't get a Mazda 3 but getting them yada yada nope those are dope isn't that what a punch line I don't give a fuck who's making that joke they don't know what they're talking about all right I'm gonna do I'm gonna be making fun of me bullshit is a fucking fantastic car I'm not bullshitting it has very low horsepower but it's super likely this will be my like defense some people make fun of me they have a lot of horsepower it's really lightweight doesn't have a lot of horsepower it's very low I think less than 200 horsepower and earn a T1 yeah
► 01:16:38it's but Miatas are amazing cars but as a comedian how many times do here's the punch line those are hack sure those commands are not funny there's certain words that are just like go to like Chipotle is a great is Chipotle is a great punch line card they still make them in a in standard with standard transmission just want to say thank you mother you're welcome Mazda for it's a fucking great car man I'm not kidding they're really fun to drive the handle really well I like my like a very tactile but a Mazda 3 is different than a Miata right how much different is it I mean probably pretty different was that one that what right there 2019 Mazda MX-5 MX-5 Miata what will the rxa to see that red one the cool red color yeah but good with the one above that please look at that with the removable roof whoo that's like a Target I could be on the beach without that is a dope car people are crazy they just want it the one Higher horsepower if that was instead of a Miata of that was a Tesla Tesla made
► 01:17:38electric Miata that goes zero to 60 in one second get on everybody would want that car yeah dude it's a great car yeah drive one all right you know I'm going to do is I'm going to test drive a Mazda Miata goat and it's cheap how much is a Miata like 28 grand dude come on come on man I'm not bullshitting for 28 grand you get a great car I'm not kidding I would drive a for you I just would never think that you would have this much passion about the Mazda Miata and it's really refreshing I am an automobile Enthusiast yeah I love cars I saw the car is here I love engineering I'm a fan do that I know you oh yeah but I love mechanical things I love how people design things and what they've done with the Miata is they've made a car that it always has a loyal fan base that continues to buy them because they don't break the bank it's not something that you pull up to the club and everybody thinks she like some super baller but it's a fun car to drive there are really fun car to drive they're super lightweight
► 01:18:38they're very agile to handle great they still make them with a manual transmission yeah mine stick yeah they're fine man so fun car to drive don't be hating on me on it's alright body Philip Mazda3 than what the same love for the Mazda3 not that good motherfucker kind of boring it's like you get a Prius yeah you're in the Prius category you know what's happened with Tesla it's interesting because when you for a while you could be driving a Prius and no one knew if you are rich or poor it was the great equalizer still this day Larry David Rives the fuck are you sure but Tesla came along and they're like you know now you can stand and save the Earth now people know you're rich and Pious before you don't know if this guy's poor or DiCaprio yeah but now it's like so all the poor guys who want to go green or kind of fucked mmm but a Prius is difference because it's a hybrid yeah like that was the only option back in the day that was the only option Mercedes has an S-Class Mercedes top of the food chain
► 01:19:37Mercedes that's also a plug-in hybrid it's just a new one that they just released like Jeremy Clarkson was raving about it supposed to be this incredible car so Mercedes is actually making like plug-in hybrids for their top of the food chain vehicle that's pretty cool it's pretty something that's new it is it is new but it's also it's like a little bit of a step back because it has gasoline but that the Step Up is going to be a car that charges and it charges in a normal amount of time like an hour or two how long is your 600 forever how we have a supercharger here we have a supercharger installed here and it still takes I don't know probably five hours five hours ahead you have dad'll probably take five hours maybe six hmm you know but like if I come here and like full charge is what does it get
► 01:20:31300 and fucking 90 miles or something like that somewhere around the range are you really are you having to be a little better with your planning like all right I'm going to put it in here I'm not going anywhere with it you go to La I go to The Comedy Store like I have like this weekend I'm in Anaheim for the UFC yeah driving that fucking throat are you crazy I'm not getting what happened what happened to get stranded our legs anyway batteries anybody have electricity I can cite anybody can sit here with me for eight hours yeah there's not a goddamn thing you can do you have to call a tow truck and they have to bring it to a charging station and then you have to sit there like an asshole yeah for six hours it's but the technology if you get you can't look obviously I'm kidding in some way because it's super simple it's got you've seen one the inside where the giant screen I've only seen from the outside because like oh the gun right here and sit on it because the comedy store is turn into a Tesla dealership that's kind of how you know Cal that's how that's how you know the store is in a Renaissance
► 01:21:31words like so many tests was coming in and out of that place not just Tesla's like Russell Peters pulls up in a Ferrari and like a family to just a Bentley yeah a Ferrari a Lamborghini Lamborghini SUV like now must be the most trying time to be a lot guy at The Comedy Store just imagine the bullets they sweat having a move cuz that parking lot in The Comedy Store is like Tetris yeah there's a finite amount of space and they've got to fit all the paid regulars cars in there and the price tag says the price tag on all these are insane now the problem is they're letting these promoters parked there aren't they being better about about saying like you can't park in a lot they should detonate their clothes they should have like I said of a tow truck that's just like a stick of dynamite to Giant like Kevlar tarp that they throw those cars and just detonate them it's just during a set you just hear us get our motor because there's so many people that Park back there like you're not even a comic book will you do not only that though like
► 01:22:31Akbar and now sold the back patio area weird because that's like our home that's kind of where we hang out before we have to go on stage and we want to see guys like you or Santino just chop it up before we have to go on stage and thence like who's this and they talk to you and they interrupt conversations and not in a snooty way but it is a bit of a way it's like a Dugout it's like a baseball Dugout Adderall people go back yeah I talked too much to ya you don't need that in your life right back they have more confidence than me back there like that all have Adderall confidence I've never done that all have you done it isn't it big now like every student has taken it a lot of people are taking it it's a big thing among journalists journalists writers because they get more work done because you're on speed like there was a guy that I had in here that was writing a book on he wrote that book on Hunter S Thompson was it
► 01:23:24what is it what is what is his book
► 01:23:27something Gonzo something anyway he was talking about how he needs it to write can't write without it is it just the deadlines and the workload is insane and that's the way the kind of you don't with it you don't need it to write can you move your fingers you will you sure yes but there's any time there's a fatigue yes take a break go for a walk yeah that's the natural thing to do but some people want a quick fix well it's not necessarily Quick Fix it's like you can get a good Timothy De never yet isn't there are very nice guy mental debt if you keep on taking a look what's the name of the book yeah mental debt yeah it's called you become a crackhead freaking free Kingdom yeah you become someone who is on stimulants all the time and I know several people that have an issue I know one guy is completely lost his fucking mind thinks everybody's against him thanks that everyone's done him wrong and he's just out there cracked out in the middle of nowhere on fucking Adderall every day and making YouTube videos and there's a lot
► 01:24:27people like that man just a lot of people like that it is a meth like drug it's very very very very similar to math yeah this is a different release in terms of like the how quickly your body process is crazy how widespread it is for something like that then it's fucking stimulants man gets people if you can effectively do your job and you don't commit any crimes and they can sell you that stuff and make a profit and then you actually are more profitable when you're on that stuff then not then fucking have at it that's how people look at things and like it look when I was when Pop was sort of legal when it was medically legal I had a bullshit prescription your backer oh yeah everything bro 00 C is exactly did you go to the hot doctor do you know like you would see on Sunset Boulevard it's like just like Persian chick who's like no describe you know I went to a black dude with dreadlocks he was awesome he this is what he looked at me for not going and that's the best we doctor to the FlexPay like oh this guy's good the best
► 01:25:27had a do you remember those vaporizers that are there a bag or they're called of oh yeah number one I stayed with Ari shaffir in New York and he he had those and I'd never seen that before just seemed like such an odd Contraption some of the early podcasts we vaporized with that bag and they're the dumbest conversations because we had no idea what we're talking about I would like correct myself halfway into a sentence because I forgot what I was saying and then I would forget what the original correction was and then I'm like what about no that's not what I'm saying what am I saying I was so fucked up it would take like an hour into the podcast before like the fog would settle so was that just the medical marijuana delivery system well no it's just a delivery system it's not met you can use it right now you know I have to I feel like do people use it that way that's not really the vaporize what those bag what's the upside of that no smell like you're not you're just getting missed you're basically getting the THC crystals it's turning into mist at at when you vaporize you're not getting the burnt plant
► 01:26:27almost like harsh connoisseurs yeah there's a million ways yes to get you need now are wind dorks yeah or cigar dorks it's like real similar sure but anyway I walk into this guy's office and he's just the fucking coolest I wish I kept in touch with this dude it was somewhere in Hollywood I forget where it was but the dude look to me goes you look sick you go again Nick he goes you need some medicine you need some medicine he had his big smile on my face to see I said thank you sir I feel sick and I feel like I need some medicine he goes what are you here for a brother and I said it helps you sleep he goes good enough for me and he wrote me a prescription he gives me a prescription that he pulls out the biggest bag he had a custom vaporizer bag for the volcano and I'm telling you I'm not exaggerating was four feet long this is 4 feet long bag he puts it on this like if it pumps up like a kids Bounce House fills up with weed he does it there oh yeah we were blasted we got blasted
► 01:27:27at his place at the doctor's office was connected to a grow op right so we smoke we smoke we vaporized right and then we go into the back where they're growing the weed and we're barbecued right I'm barely in this Dimension and I go in there and I see all these plants and I get a feeling from these things like they're alive like they're conscious it felt so weird to this day I missed that feeling I go up name and what it was that was I so high I was hallucinating is it or is it possible that if you get really high on pot and then you go around the pot leaves you pick up their frequency and you understand that there are a living organism and that's one of the reasons why they make you feel so good when you get high like one of the reasons why your interact you're interacting with whatever they are what the molecules the THC and the cannabinoids are interacting with it and then when you go around the actual potted plants and they're all super healthy because they got this crazy hydroponic setup and they're all the right nutrients and these blush green
► 01:28:27plants and it's perfect environment for growing because you know they're experts yeah and I'm like these things are alive man these things like they're they know you're there they're like hi those out so it was a successful trip oh yeah man I was I took me hours before I knew what I was doing afterwards yeah like hours later trying to figure out oh I just love how he took the onus of an excuse off of you oh yeah you look sick I stopped moment I walk it like this doctor sick yeah looks you need some medicine and crazy dreadlocks and circular glasses he was amazing God I wish I kept in touch with that guy dr. he was a great doctor I've had a bunch of good weed doctors I had one of them though I had to stop going he went crazy 911 on me what does that mean he when he was trying to tell me that the towers were brought down by Tesla technology and I was like what is like concrete doesn't vaporized oh no I was like what do you mean vaporized I said tried to about like how like
► 01:29:27you know about white privilege and everything I go one of the things about white privilege people to really think about that much is you're allowed to have any conspiracy theory you want I can't be like 9/11 was an inside job fuel can't melt steel beams they're like whatever Achmed sure thing Aladdin no you don't understand right yeah that's different yeah yeah if you looked at the pie chart of people that are really in the conspiracies and like looked at Race White would be overwhelming what would it be like the pie chart of conspiracy theorists yeah I don't know like three quarters of the pie chart white people yeah just it would sound absurd coming from me like I don't believe that but imagine if I'm like 9/11 wasn't it was a brown guy like really sure thing you're not getting off that easy yeah Inside Job yeah it's you you worked for Boeing's I would you do yeah what did you do there how's the aerospace engineer we involved at all in 9/11 to do you have anything to do with like the comedy The Comedy Store here's have been your friend
► 01:30:27anyways you were involved in 9/11 what did you trade those Pilots you gave me yeah did you do what you do at Boeing I did stress analysis for the floor being the very unglamorous the thing with the katana cool though I guess so means bona fide smart yeah I mean I'm able to jump through hoops with a goal in mind like I have a high threshold for academic pain so I took a lot of math I took a lot of it wasn't that hard for me is like I mean it's difficult to get the degree but all right they do these steps you get this number there's this formula you have the tools right the show you how to do it monkey see monkey do interesting way to describe it you have a high threshold for academic paint because it is like a little painful right I think just it seems so daunting to the average person and they just don't want to be bothered with that to even get over the hump of learning something like that they're just like I could never write that's for brainiacs right but the thing is engineering was a means to an end for me to do stand-up comedy like my parents are gonna
► 01:31:27for my college but only certain degrees so at first because anyone want to do stand-up when I was like 17 really yeah what how did you know I think two things happened so I didn't grow up with stand up I didn't really know it was a thing was on my radar I grew up at The Simpsons SNL and like Conan late-night Conan those were those are my Jam's I feel like that's my comedy DNA but then I'll 17 like my 17th birthday we rented Delirious so we watch Delirious Eddie Murphy's Delirious you know
► 01:32:00just like the greatest thing in the world and that just planted the seed of Comedy so that coupled with my love for SNL and I'm like how do I like I don't know if Google was around even or maybe I don't know I just researched how do people get on SNL and people who was around so I saw they came from two camps they were either stand ups or they came from improv so like Second City UCB Groundlings this was like the pedigree these are the schools they picked from and then I researched those schools they were in Chicago La New York you had to pay money to take these classes you may not pass you have to go back to 101 or whatever so it's like it's a school hmm and stand-up is just you just you out there with a sword you know yeah so I like that I'm like oh I could do that and there's comedy club in Seattle I can count on me like I don't have to rely on other people to like Zip Zap zop with each other improv is a great thing you know I'm not like knocking or anything it's just it's such a different if dedicate your life talk
► 01:32:59the other I think it's very hard to be great at both and there's not a lot of career paths for improv it's like I can't do certain spot and that's it like there's some people who are very very talented in Groundlings in like you see B and then how do they monetize that if they booked a commercial they're still beholdin to a lot of other people they have to be the right guy or girl the right look there's so many variables that are outside of your control as a talented improv performer but as a stand-up you could do a weekend we can always make money yeah once you get to a certain level famous like in terms of going on the road as an improv guy I guess Whose Line Is It Anyway guys do yeah but you'll have to maybe they'll they'll start doing stand-up because they've built some you'll see that right they'll build some credibility like a notoriety and they come from The Improv background but if they want to start making some money on the road they start doing stand-up but they're no better off than someone like a 22 year old doing stand-up now because you got to put the hours in just because you're good at this other thing
► 01:33:59I'll have to start over right it's like the farm yeah yeah exactly you got it you can't the beauty standards you can't skip steps it's so you see comic on stage it's like when you cut a tree open and you see all the Rings you can just tell like oh this guy's been doing it 20 years yes you can't fake that yeah so I chose to do stand up because it was just me out there and I could rely on me and I could do it while I do engineering school so I chose engineering because like I knew I wanted to do this stuff so I thought I needed a theater degree so it's like can I do theater and I don't like no you can't do theater and then it kept getting more and more watered down I was like can I do like directing like no you can't just directing told you what you can and can't do yeah and I love it in hindsight I'm so grateful I don't dude if I had a theater degree right now I'd be fucked if anyone's watching and you have a theater degree or you're thinking about getting a theater degree don't do it you don't need it you're not going to be
► 01:34:59law because you have a theater degree you could do it on the side think of how many people have come to LA or New York it's a different thing okay look if you're a jewel yard and your this instrument or whatever and it's like a top top top theater school and it's a feeder to like that world okay or if you're the son of like a huge actor or daughter sure but if you're like in I don't know Ohio you're going to theater School you just lighten your parents money on fire
► 01:35:30that's all you're doing they're letting you like go on a 20 year old Jungle Gym every four years what did thing is like you see sometimes like an actor like a rather like an athlete or someone will be an actor in a movie and they'll do a fucking amazing job here's a okay like Oprah here's an example Color Purple the highest-paid actor is the rock what theater School Dwayne The Rock Johnson go to the theater of Hard Knocks thank you so you might as well do wrestling as opposed to so it doesn't theater degree does not equal acting job right but that's a different kind of acting than say like Jake Gyllenhaal or Sherman yeah I do you think you're learning that at all look here's the other thing too that I was that was so interesting because I did acting class for two months when I was here in La you know just to try it out and stuff it wasn't for me and what's funny is like they'll be teaching these techniques and like Meisner and tapping in a little blah Blau and then at the end of the class though
► 01:36:29like I didn't have any sides they want any auditions they want to go over and it's all just CSI interrogation jobs like I don't know the guy so you're like you're teaching Shakespeare in class and anything anyone's ever going out for his like oh yeah used to come around here like two times a week but how is iambic pentameter helping you with that's that's what you're right and you're chomping at the bit to get this Law and Order SCSI delivery guy number two why are you learning Meisner right and I know there are no bit Parts only been actors and all that was it true no that's what after that so that's what acting teachers love to tell you when you complain about getting a bit part because they go there are no bit Parts only bit actors and then you go I want to be an actor I'm happy to be a tree
► 01:37:21well there's certain Comics will tell you there are no bad crowds those people are assholes sure I think we've been the thing is if you're a younger comic and you're like the crunch sucked you don't have the bandwidth to know what's good and bad yet not yet so you can say that I can say that like we've all seen bad crowds sure yeah and we could chalk it up for what it is but if you're a year-end or two years in right it was me it was probably you yeah not Audible and or just like adjusting on the fly if ever you are you're not very good that yeah maybe that too I'm sure sure that's not there's a weird thing about comics where there's certain comics where you know there's no way they're going to figure it out you know I don't know though because I mean as a whole yes but there are I hear there's an anomaly so that like I would hear stories about Sebastian which is so crazy because I wasn't there for that timeline of one but he's killing it he's so funny you know and he's
► 01:38:18guy now well he was never terrible okay so you're talking about like know I remember Sebastian the beginning he was never terrible he was learning I see but he was he showed up all the time and he was always a nice guy and he's like he wasn't terrible he just didn't do great in the beginning I think people just take liberties with that story then and they make it sound like yeah no he was never offensively unfunny right certain people that are offensively unfunny we like there's not a chance you're missing the DNA like you just can't you're colorblind you're missing it whatever it is you don't have it yeah can't really cool water I mean that's the beauty out here Mitzi stories of her just telling people they aren't terrible you never met her huh no I got there when Tommy was around and it was kind of so she was still she was like sick you know and he would say it's he saw your tape and I don't know if she I know I know I know yeah so he would always just like have this buffer between
► 01:39:18yeah like Mitzi and myself and over for Kenda Mitzi was she became like what's the guy's name from psycho Norman Bates when it's like sigh mom was in the fucking shower but it was really him you know yeah like his mom's dead he would put the wig on that was Tommy Tommy put the mint's you are gone and then he showed up he would always like do her voice and stuff and like when giving Frank yeah man dude like cuz he would expunge wisdom and because I remember I would drive up from Boeing that was my so I was working in Long Beach so yes I got engineer degree right and then I just apply to jobs I did mechanical engineering because my best friend is doing mechanical and I was like I don't care what engineering I do I just I'll be closed about to my friend and you were just doing that so you could have a job for myself though such a long con it's like all right I knew I wanted to do stand-up in the meantime I got to go to college right I've got to be able to support so I can get good and Seattle really funny man I guess people don't do that
► 01:40:18Life's a long time if you're lucky you know yeah and it's okay to have to plan this far out it sounds far-fetched maybe if I told it to someone at the time but in hindsight it was the most beautifully executed plan so great yeah so I did stand-up I was going to college my life was just school by day stand up at night would actually be stand up on the weekends because I was living at home and it's 40 minutes in the club so I would just do a lot of time on Friday and Saturday is your parents know yeah they knew and it was bad it was like doing heroin like they were against it just because you'll now my mom has I took her to the premiere I died had a small role in whiskey-tango-foxtrot this Tina Fey movies so I took her to the premiere in New York and so she got to be on the red carpet and like take pictures with Tina Fey and like and so she she was in she was in after that and she keeps on a species like when's the next Premier I'm available
► 01:41:16thanks Premier that is a hilarious yeah there was an after party and everyone's Milling about and then my mom's like there's Tina Tina that the like introduced me I'm like yeah okay I'll come on because I'm like my mom's a sweetheart but I'm I'm still caught in his Showbiz thing like I'm what number 15 on the call sheet or I'm very - yeah I don't even know if she remembers me even though the movie you know some I gotta pick my spot and then she just kind of like nudges me like a linebacker she's like pushing me into Tina like but it was great to have the out of my mom be like my mom is such a huge fan and she's like oh yeah of course and she was a sweetheart so now she's in she's in she's like you made it you're actually yeah or she could see the light at the end of the tunnel like okay and what your dad my dad my dad is kind of more nuts and bolts he doesn't he doesn't like Get Fooled by The Glitz and the glamour anything like that he just understands money and things like I've had a nice car but moms like everything if item also me although I mean he'd be fucking soul like you did okay
► 01:42:17but no get a Tesla yeah I guess so I think what what has softened him a little bit because I just got this place in Tarzana like a house and that's like real adults shit so I didn't realize that would kind of soften him a bit because how will you know 35 so he's like wow he's a real adult I guess so yeah you have a girlfriend no so when you get married you think I don't know if he cares about them like I think it's more it's all does I think that cares more about the security like like a real career right income and a house and stability when the comedy was never the and then also aside from just those things you know they're from Afghanistan so it's a low in my dad's opinion it's kind of a low thing stick comedies like a low thing for someone to be doing like whoa yeah like low
► 01:43:07like subhuman because you know because like are you it like a giant sold-out theater I don't know maybe who knows but big line of people waiting to see you I guess I don't know what that thing will be but he would he would always say cuz we would you know being shouting matches when were younger oh yeah when we really younger yeah I mean look I love my parents and I know what it was grounded in I think they just they didn't want to be eating out of a dumpster so they were just they were there I mean with my dad at his frustration and lashing out or just like and not like physical anything just like you know like you're throwing your life away bubble blah was because he wanted that security for me yeah I understand it for what it is when I was like 17 or 18 yeah did you know you don't get me right like I just feel so right now that I'm older I get it I get where he's coming from right
► 01:43:57yeah so never held the point was but I think now that have a little more stability to when we always say he's like he's like you're out there every night with the pimps and The Prostitute ha ha anything like that ever been to a comedy club at The Comedy Store yeah I might have seen one or two projects over the last 20 years are out there every night at like The Pimps and the prostitutes
► 01:44:30this is that was his line you should talk about this on stage I didn't like my last special I taught I tell that story I talk I talk about the story with my dad and he would always try that out there and then he God that's huge yeah yeah I mean he's not half wrong he's half wrong he's how I've seen a couple prostitution here but that's all they got longer no pimps okay for 30 years I've seen maybe two or three properties in the whole front rows just like fur coats oh I'm like that Keynes I'll piss I'll grease their big diamond rings the he would say people should be entertaining you that would be the thing like I should be the one entertained but business because you're intelligent I guess so you're in a serious person yeah I like I just found like if you want to make broad Strokes I think in the Middle Eastern Community it's like they love art but their kids shouldn't be doing it like they should be they should be consumers of Art
► 01:45:29put interesting but what if you were like a famous painter classical painting I guess no one no parent really thinks best case scenario for their kid like that what is much people by his art it's always like it's a pipe dream what are the odds but will blah yes you're throwing your life away and I guess there is some statistically sure oh yes it says sure but I think like what I would do different when I have kids or whatever I would I would explain the realities of how you know the whole theater degree thing I'm so glad they made me do a degree with teeth because that allowed me to have a legitimate job to get me out here like I'm not on trust fund kid how else would I be close to where I needed to be I need to be here they're in Seattle most are still up there still there yeah so so I would have some practicality I'd be like I'll pay for your college get a get a legitimate degree where there's an actual job outlook at the end hmm like I'm not paying you to find yourself when did you quit the job
► 01:46:24like 2010 2010 2009 so right when you came in the store right around so some things happen like I was working at Boeing for three and a half years and I would just work by day and I would drive drive up to Hollywood and like the valley by night I was burning the candle at both ends oh you must be tired all the time I was well especially at first because I didn't know the lay of the comedy land I was just going I thought everything was worth my time or you don't know until you do it so I would do some like shitty Open Mic drive all the way to like really bad aren't shows that were what that wasn't a thing really that wasn't a thing yet as of late you know what's so funny is like the progression of the alternate is that first was in weird spots like a washing or like a laundromat and then it was like a meltdown and then living rooms were a big thing living room shows and then backyards were hot that's what I remember the Next Room shows oh yeah I want to do is have people in the living room where it's like the hottest all show it's called crawl space well let me know when someone's just on their belly you do really funny one-on-one sketches that you do
► 01:47:24like you play more than one role things about on your Instagram like super bored during the day and you like no is wanted to ask you a why do all my stuff yeah all right so it's almost just some of the stuff I do is just a byproduct of I don't know being creatively backlogged so I love stand-up and I love sketch those come to me naturally sometimes we will be like to have a movie script or like you know what's your sitcom and that's just more work there's a scaffolding there that if I was teamed up with someone who understands that world maybe be a little more easy but I don't want to bang my head against a wall to understand a format where stand-up and sketch just like come to me right so that's why I lean into that so stand up has been a thing I've been doing for the 17 years I feel like I've developed I'm good at that sketch I started doing I did it like I think a thigh was I grew up through it like thumb I would do funny videos in school like video productions back in the day when you had to VCRs this is before like Avid so you'd like
► 01:48:24shuttle you have two tapes your mix now tape and you're wrong tape so you would actually like make sketches on a VHS cassette so I was always into that because I love that smell you know so and then you know he stopped doing it I'm doing stand-up and then I moved to LA and I'm not getting on stage that much because it's so saturated here it's so sad it's the biggest Market here and New York although I think it's easier to get on stage as a stand-up in New York here you have to deal with actors and there's a real bottleneck so I wasn't getting up a lot but I'm a creative guy I have all these ideas and I had this idea for this video I'm like how to attend an Afghan wedding or whatever so and I was going to I was trying to get people to help me out and shoot it and then you're a runt no one really gives a fuck if you can't do anything for anybody when you first come out here is just sort of like and not in a mean way just the nature of the Wilderness like why am I going to you're not a proven thing there's really no up side so you get a lot of like yeah I'll help you and then flike
► 01:49:21so I rewrote it to just do it all my apartment so I just filmed this video this YouTube video we're going to be on YouTube yet though it was this video called how to attend an Afghan wedding or something which is called the Afghan wedding I put on my space and the kind of does well it kind of takes off a little bit and then my brother is like oh you should put on YouTube like it wasn't ubiquitous to put stuff on YouTube yet I was like oh yeah okay I'll put on YouTube to put on YouTube it kind of makes the rounds on there too and that was just kind of like the nudge I needed like oh I'm good I could do this and I could do this while I'm waiting to get stage time mmm so this is another Avenue for me I do stand-up and then I do sketches and this was in the Heyday of YouTube when there was an appetite for YouTube sketch like Indie YouTube sketch just funny guys and there's different sketch groups and everything don't think there's an appetite for that now not anymore know why not it's become bite-sized no one wants to watch sketch on you like Standalone people want to make up blogs they want to watch pranks how do you know I know because like you know because I've
► 01:50:21uploaded you see the downturn there was a time is it because now it's Instagram is everything's more bite-sized so so imma sketch guy love fully formed sketch and really taking my time like and me and my buddy Aristotle like he's really talented filmmaker and director I think I just left Boeing and I had this idea for this American History X Type sketches Domino's called Dominos and he and I did it and we put it out there and it was beautiful like it's just one of my favorite sketches we've done and so I just kept on doing sketch and there was an appetite for it and then it started to drop off like there wasn't a lot of viewership now YouTube schedule only work if it was on TV the night before like if it's a key and Peele sketch that made it inside a me or like a Tonight Show sketch or keep the only way it'll make the rounds as if it were the sketches on TV
► 01:51:12and then has a potential to do all the internet just a born-and-bred sketch on the internet doesn't take off any more Instagram does so I just have all these ideas and I always write them down on my phone and Instagram those like little one-on-ones is a way to get those ideas out in a very not precious way mmm and it's just idea-driven and people respond to it you know so it's just more of like I let me get this idea out of my head so when you write do you sit down and force yourself in front of a notepad or computer back in the day like when I was first doing stand-up I had two methods I would I would have the jokes that would just come to me and then I would like to sit down and try to manufacture jokes you know like all right all right brain what's funny what's funny about the world right and I would come up with some stuff but I always found the things that always work the best where the stuff that just like came out of The Ether we just came to me hmm and then eventually I got to the point where enough I would get enough of those ideas
► 01:52:12I didn't have to sit down and write so all I had to do is just be good about capturing what I'm receiving so I have my phone with me all the time back in the day out of marble notebook and all that but like phones of advanced so much I've ever note we do yeah so whenever I get an idea regardless of what the proper medium for it is I'll get it I'll get it Instagram video idea I'll get a fully fully formed sketch idea where I need like production value a sitcom idea or a stand-up idea of different notes for each of them and I've just train myself my brain is wired a certain way where I just catch the butterflies or just put the bucket under Saucy don't sit down no I just I I'll get the idea I'll jot down as many words as I need to capture it maybe I don't know say something happens we go to
► 01:52:55I don't know I don't know we go to the lake or something and then like I get here we go hunting I get three ideas about hunting this many words that capture this thought this many words the catcher like
► 01:53:03commas so I have it be record your sets yeah I'll record them do you listen to the recording I do well it depends like if I'm doing a hot night at the store that's kind of like the hits and I'm not going to learn a lot from the hits right when I want to work on stuff I'll tell Adam at the store aisle when I call him my veils I go out late on Tuesday or Wednesday whichever one I get I specifically asked to go late so that there's hardly yeah there's no pressure there's like ten people trying to sober up I'm on my phone and it's not like this because they went to packed or it's kind of like a what do you got right like I paid this much money I got a hot date with me blah it's a different show Joey Diaz started getting angry about it about what but you can't prowess well you can you just have to choose different time slots or choose different shows to do it on there's new material nights I love those like Neal Brennan has one at Westside that's one of my favorite shows to do Jeff Harris has one so you have this new material shows but I'll just
► 01:54:04if you choose to do a later time slot and might be different for you because you're such a draw but I'm nobody yeah like a cusper right now so I can just do late night but I just think you just sandwich those new bits in between old bits you can but if you just want the total mental freedom of just like throw spaghetti against the wall right and not end in a professional way because if if I'm doing a hot show I'm trying to a sandwich it can still put the brakes a little bit oh yeah and you know I don't need that ha ha ha Joe Rogan yeah but that's that's where it's at that's where it's at I mean I find my way out of it by putting when it hits the Brazier you panic and then you find a way out and sometimes that's where you find a punch line sometimes not sure deal with the 5 out of 10 hmm 5 out of 10 are going to eat shit I'm about to 10 it's almost like it being a baseball manager I have my a string my b string so if I'm doing like a hot show and I want to work on Abby so there's different levels of bits that I can polish I'm not going to throw ADI ADI in there
► 01:55:03Primetime baby now write D is for one am 1:40 a.m. he's got no pressured he's got a lot of potential do you Jeremiah show I love that show ya ya doing that tonight dude I'll chose fast I love shows where the audience knows the expectation is like you're a fly on the wall in the process yeah and those let them out yeah pre-recorded or pre-planned material yeah there's so much good will yeah yeah cause you don't get that one it's just like a show I've come up with four or five legitimate bits that have wound up on specials because I'm sure my show yeah it was like a stand-up float tank yeah it's a great little lecture I what's this idea what's that and it's also because everybody knows that you're doing that so it's kind of more fun and also if you hit a dead end that's funny because they know they know the theme of the show yeah so let's wish you would do it more often it's only do it like once a month hit once a week man I don't know maybe they know their what their sweet spot is yeah I don't think they do hmm I think the sweet spots once a week yeah
► 01:56:03I think it's totally possible do that show once a week yeah yeah I love those shows when was it the first time your parents saw you on stage only you know what this is so funny this is kind of so this is the last bit on my special I talked about it like the see me once once ever yeah really yeah did you bomb oh yeah oh in the word in the biggest way oh oh my god oh yeah I mean do you want to hear the story fuck yeah I do okay so this is the rehash of like the last thing so the last thing I said I'm I close my special this so I'm like 17 I'm like 17 or 18 I'm at College there's a bulletin board and it says like Apollo amateur night on tour right so there's a flyer like the Apollo's going on tour and you can audition and I have the Apollo Theater and Apollo Theater yeah so they're going all these major cities right so interesting especially I'm just getting I'm gonna maybe a year in or a few months into stand-up this could be a great
► 01:57:03energy isn't it funny we let the level delusion you have as a young comic yeah yeah we like I'm ready yeah they got to hear what I got to say I've been doing this for a few months
► 01:57:15so I take the you know take the little tab I have it I get all the info I go there it's in Seattle so I go there to audition I forget where they're holding the audition it's this like theater or whatever so I'm sitting there's 342 people just like wait it's like American Idol pretty much and there's like a bunch of like older black ladies singing I Believe I Can Fly under their breath like just because they're mostly singers so you just hear like standing there like what in do my jokes later oh my interviews like Del Rey being so finally it's my time to go so I go out there I do my stand-up set and it doesn't well like it does genuinely well it wasn't like a klutz feed him to the sharks like I did well like that made them laugh you know so I find out I get selected I think I'm one of 11 1 of 11 to get selected
► 01:58:10some like Suede and then I invite everyone like Mom Dad everyone from school and shit oh yeah yeah everyone it's a top the Paramount Theater and Seattle have you been there yeah what was that 4,000 it's a big place 4,000 5,000 people something like that maybe 3,000 whatever it's in the thousands of people big place yeah it's one of our nicest theaters beautiful yeah so so I invite everyone and then act so it's packed oh my God so so I do the dress rehearsal I do the dress rehearsal blog of the Motions lady comes up to me and she's like all the producer this great the producer of the show thinks like you should do this bit before instead of your hip hop stuff like do this bit first and is like this bitwise talk about being Afghan or something you know so like okay whatever I'm so new I just trust the producer I'm like I guess they know so I rearranged my set just based on the producers request
► 01:59:10come to the show everyone's there but blah it's my time to like they introduced me little bubble you know please welcome to He-Man where I come out okay guys well I like that my name is Raheem this is like an Afghan or like Middle Eastern Afghan to be exact when he's like boo boo I'm not out there for maybe 20 seconds I just touched a boo-boo it's such a interesting sensation to be booed by that many people so just like it starts cascading like Boo Boo and I've seen Apollo I know how it works and you hear the like that
► 01:59:43don't like all right I don't need to get swept off like I know how this works so I get booed off your boot off just from talking about being Afghan maybe I don't know maybe it just really sucked maybe it's because it was like close to 9/11 and I talked about being Afghan whenever I get I get booed you know I mean I'm sure it sucked balls to whatever I was about to say is gonna like be so bad so I'm gonna get booed regardless but I lasted maybe 15 seconds 15 20 seconds
► 02:00:07so I'm just like shell-shocked and then I'm just chilling in the hallway there's there was a desk there's like a you know like an old school student desk where it's like L shape and they have the basket it's just in the stairwell for some reason so I just sit I just sit in that chair I feel like I was in a video game or something because that's not a human experience really that many people get to go through some trying to make sense of what happened and the world in my life moving forward it's a lot going on it's a lot going on you know
► 02:00:38and then you know I get up again I myself I go up the stairwell I get my things from you know I have to see everyone else and the green are the worst see every one of the green room area get my shit I get my car and I think I like drive home my parents to take a separate car right and then I hear the rest of the story from my brother so they're all in the Dodge Caravan because I'm Neil oh my brother my dad my mom is just silent on the car ride home like no one's talking because I mean you know they saw what they saw so no one's saying anything and then obviously my daddy my dad's like wasn't too thrilled about me doing stand-up to begin with right so he breaks the silence he goes
► 02:01:19well there is no business like show business and in hindsight like I think that's why when I want them to come out I wanted to be like such a polar opposite experience and obviously I've come a long way from then but I'm almost grateful that it did happen because you know what Comics trade bomb stories I fucking win every time and to me for me to be so young like 17 and come back from that that means like there's really something like a fire in me are like I was meant to do this or I really love stand up because that's not a pleasurable experience to potentially think that could happen again you know now they've seen you on television to do I have a shame yeah I think you're special was good yeah I think so they were never know like my mom will tell me but I never know what my dad catches and when was the last time you worked in Seattle trying to do the Parlor is that yeah we do when did it go under a few months ago I think fuckin a yeah so the pool hall Parts gone to thing
► 02:02:19fuck yeah you like to play there yeah it was a great gig play pool and do yeah for me it's your jam oh my God it's like you designed the club yeah that's how I design a club yeah yeah so it's weird I mean I could have them come out to another show we have there now what's the club I don't know I think mostly see I know they have Giggles or whatever in the University District or maybe it's called laughs it's called laughs it's where Giggles used to be so they only have like one comedy club and all you have to come on they have to come on you know that's crazy can but these aren't Seattle fuck man Seattle used to be a scene yeah dot fucking Parlor Live was a great Club how did it go under yeah probably Bryan Callen you think no just throw it what does that became true it's measure the man who broke the Parlor fucking ruined it bro yeah yeah so when your parents come to see you will they come to see you in Allah or the commercial oh I haven't even decided
► 02:03:18put on the back burner for I mean I guess if I do The Tonight Show I mean I've been too late nights already 20 years later I know you gotta come see you live I live yeah what should I do I don't know invite them to a show yeah I don't know what she'll pretend they're at the first show and then bring them to the second show yeah just to mentally prepare yeah you're obviously have a little bit of a block if thinking about it yeah not a block but it's a thing oh for sure yeah they saw you eat shit yeah and especially when they were so anti that than but you are right and they were wrong that's how it works I mean my parents never yelled at me that I can do comedy or us waste of my life or that I'd be there with pimps prostitutes I mean I love my parent we have a great relationship this is just kind of like one one thing that was incongruent in the relationship almost no parents think their child is going to make it as a commuter it is the most is the most impossible to imagine success business that you could ever think your kids going to go into
► 02:04:18no there's no like we're talking about stand-up that none of this is written down right talking about the principles of stand-up there's no course you can take doesn't exist any class is usually taken by someone who's not very successful at stand up for the most part yeah I don't know of any successful it could give Chris Rock's not out there teaching an online class you can give you the confidence to like jump off the cliff yes but outside of that you're not going to learn but but here's the thing all these principles that were taught me think about look comedy is obviously a viable art form in a large-scale venue I mean I just got done doing two Arenas this weekend right so we're talking about something that is right up there with music or even with sports I mean it's large-scale enormous people yet there's no real like pathway that's written down there's no real principles of it that are universally assumed by all people who participate in the
► 02:05:18art form yeah whereas almost like if you learn music you learn chords and chord progression you learn you learn how to use your diaphragm you learn how to sing and learn how to play instruments and you learn how to make a chorus and there's none of that for us I think it was just such a foreign I can understand where they're coming from because it's such an foreign concept if you get an engineering degree or a doctor you do a b you get see there's a blueprint for it yeah stand-up is just so nebulous or just like the Arts in general is just sort of like you can't tell someone what like your path to success is going to be different than Ian's path to my door and you kind of learn that as a comic as well early on because I think there's a little bit of imposter syndrome like oh no like somebody else gets something you feel like it's an attack on you but you do it long enough you realize like oh everyone's journey is so different well not in a hippy dippy way yeah but like your relationships are different than mine they're different so everyone hits at different times yep and it's not right or wrong it's just life and nature you know yeah you're different than everybody else you just gotta concentrate on doing your best
► 02:06:18out yeah what you can learn from other people's success and failures but don't think of it as your own success or failure yeah and eyes on your own paper I wouldn't want my kids to do comedy if my kids look at would be hilariously hypocritical if one of my kids was like I want to be a comedian like listen you're not give me a fucking comedian stop yeah I think where I differ with my parents is if they want to do something in the Arts I'd be like have at it like I support you I want it to work out but kind of have a foundation work on that I don't want to send you to do Communications for four years yeah there's no school for it yeah stand up school here's the school have a shitty childhood that's the best for the thing is I had a good shot yeah well adjusted I had like maybe that's why it hurts so much maybe I gave him everything he still did it yeah that's funny you might be one of the rare guys I think I think there's a new breed where there's people obviously you know there is no more what just well-adjusted yeah
► 02:07:13I don't know if Pete Holmes ago even level-headed yeah what about the Chrome well I don't know if we've got the fuck out of here everyone so everyone is fucked up to some degree yes yeah so that's why their Comics sure yeah but I've no matter who you anybody you pluck off of Earth it's fucked up yeah yes so this is a universal truth but usually some kind of fucked-up childhood as a prerequisite it helps it's like the whole fuel its fuel it's like there's Fighters that come from good childhoods to yeah you know I would have this it's a dumb thought but I would have it as a kid trying to do stand-up and not have to face this wall of I don't know you know my parents wanted me to do it my God man I kind of wish I had like a warts childhood or like not middle class because then it wouldn't we wouldn't be questioned it would just be like yeah of course what else you gonna do well I was really healthy when I was young because I was a martial artist I was competing all the time I always worked out
► 02:08:13I always thought man if I was a drug addict I probably funnier I really used to think that way because like guys who did drugs at Kennison and prior that drug problems yeah are so fun like always I mean you've been doing it for a long time so maybe you have a better perspective on this I think like back in the day with the doing drugs and all that part of that did that help like was it image like how in terms of just seeing the comedy for what it is was it part it being new rock star stuff drugs so you don't have to be as tight as say like nowadays because there's so many more comedians know or was it Go are tigers wildness to it there's wildness to it like I think the funniest guy I've all times Joey Diaz and one of the reasons why he's the funniest guy of all time is the wildness like he's truly wild like and he knows grades watching him like in the OR especially in 2019 yes the climate or in yeah he don't give me until he doesn't know he came out of
► 02:09:13time machine he's like Encino Man I know I just thought him out and they just threw them on the all our people they're horrified and so happy at the same time yes I think even the locusts people when they're watching Joey and there's just this energy and people are laughing so hard like your altruism can't break through that you can't deny what's happening right now right so kind of makes you I guess reassess what you're supposed like I shouldn't be laughing at this
► 02:09:40it's a weird time for comedy but in that weird time you're going to get some of the best stuff because it's like supercharged yeah and that's like a zit it was it when it does get through if you can cover all the bases and make your argument soundly and logically and also have it be funny I'll see birdie that all the time too and like Joey's just such a force of nature yeah it's you don't have time to like think about is this Welker is just knee-jerk you're strolling / will kind of just like throw out this crazy premise that no one no sane person would be on board like especially guys on dates well you just hear yourself some of these arguments or whatever yeah we'll just throw it out there and he won't steamroll over he'll just let it simmer and that's my favorite because like he's methodically surgically taking his time to proving the point of this argument well a lot of these arguments I would suspect that he's having at home of his wife
► 02:10:40swipes shirt powerful woman yeah and she's feminist I know what a cool woman to you know what I mean just like yeah so he has to formulate really well-thought-out arguments I would imagine I mean maybe he would but he you know he's obviously thinking these through like this is not it's not flippant about these points of view and perspectives yeah so I just I just love how just throat like a piece of bologna on the kitchen table when his nails when he Nails it bad it's like so much more satisfying even than in the past because it's like you're you're making your way through the rockiest stretch of the river and I think those are the most rewarding bits as comedians the longer you've been doing it like I could be silly and get a joke and sure that's a fun but it's not that rewarding as if you have an argument like burger or something was just countered counterculture and you can methodically it's like going through the laser field right
► 02:11:40that's way more rewarding than just walking down the hallway right like Mission Impossible and all those lasers are protecting the diamond and yeah like yes limbo through these the yeah what kind of movie is ever just walked up as a nap on those right exactly in the credits actually yeah it's a it's an interesting time to get these ideas out there but you see by the reaction of the comic store the people are looking forward to it because I think they feel the same way like god dammit everything's going so far and so many people are so goddamn sensitive about so many different things it's not about intent they're just looking at magic words and and Buzz words and lyrics are off-limits there's no such thing as context anymore intention yeah and you get that at the comedy store and I think it's the last place people are talking this freely yes because I used to think all right we've been in a little bit of a Resurgence with stand up and like all the specials and all that I'm like when's it going to burst I'm like oh cool I'm gonna get to miss to Comedy bubbles sweet but then so yeah but then it's proven wrong
► 02:12:40it's getting bigger and bigger yeah it's good yeah that's why it was a bubble when it sucked let me tell you about the bubble of the 1980s there is a bunch of people that had a kind of way of talking about things so I got a cat in my room and the mouse was like Wild Kingdom and my house no it was a way honking it was a comedy way of talking that these guys did there was some guys that just were not insightful and they just did comedy in a way that they had heard people do comedy so they kind of just like mimic The Sounds it's like you ever heard a band that sounds exactly like maybe Stone Temple Pilots or something like that but they're not really like their clothes but like what's so weird is you remember how much like soap Sternberg Guru I don't know if you remember gorilla black know it's he sounded exactly like Notorious B.I.G no way yeah this is Hank is that gorilla black yeah really liked what I heard it I'm like are we doing this this is so crazy
► 02:13:40yeah is insane yeah I watched a comic one night at in 1993 or something like that on stage in Montreal at just for laughs and he was basically doing a Richard Pryor impression and I was like what in the fuck am I seeing it's like this guy was doing prior I mean everything about his set he was doing prior only this is so strange to see that people do that well that that was a part of the bubble in the bubble there was these guys who would wear the clothes they thought a comedian would wear and say the things and there was so much work and there was so many there was so many clubs and there were so many evening at The Improv and all these different little show anyone to get a piece yeah people got to see mimic the part to there was a lot of people back then that were arrogant that were working and they were Headliners they were arrogant they were fucking terrible and I really enjoyed watching them fall off the face of the Earth
► 02:14:40you know I'll tell you some names afterwards the other names I was going to tell ya but these these people were doing comedy in the they weren't participating in an art form there are mimicking there were mimicking the people that were participating the art form like love him or hate him Jerry Seinfeld's an artist well thankfully yeah I do too but he's an artist his style whether they know I've heard criticisms that he's not deep enough he doesn't talk about sex or anything dangerous whatever he likes what he likes he likes to talk about certain he likes a certain style of comedy and he's in as a master at that style but he spawned so many babies with Patrice O'Neal would call babies like Patrice O'Neal like would say like hey man you got a lot of babies out there there's a lot of people that are imitating you you got babies then there was a lot of like David tell the perfect ya got a shitload of babies there's a lot and had a lot of babies yeah pain how to Mitch Hedberg I remember Mitch had a lot of yeah see a ton of babies
► 02:15:40there's a few people that mimic but during the 80s it was there was a few Innovative people and a lot of babies it was like there was ten babies to everyone innovator and you have these like fake Headliners and they would show up in town but they had those premises that everybody had they had those beats that everybody had they talked in the same way they didn't take any chances they were shooting straight down the middle and that was the bubble and that all went away that all went away and when that went away those guys died off and there was people that were left over the people that were left over were the actual Comics that actual people that were good enough where people would repeatedly go to see them at clubs they wrote a lot they practice they were there were interested in the actual art form itself and I was really fortunate that I started out in Boston or Boston had a very high standard due to Barry crimmins really in Project documentary was great
► 02:16:40he's a brilliant he was a brilliant guy rest in peace Barry love that guy but he that guy he was one of those guys when when he was nice to me as I got older and you know I was terrified of him terrified of him like him seeing me when I suck no really if I know it's like I meant so much to me well I knew what a high standard he had for comedy and he was one of the main reasons why there was no hacks that were tolerated in Boston and that you want everybody had to be original everybody had to do good material and everybody sort of policed each other you know and when when you have a community like that you you get to see the art form flourish in a very good way and we had a lot of like different people they were different but they were all like really high level so we would get these guys that would come in from out of town Road guys that were babies there were Seinfeld babies or different and you would see how
► 02:17:40or they looked when they were surrounded by these original murderers so you'd have like guys like Steve Sweeney and Lenny Clarke would go on stage and then one of these babies would go up after them and just eat Blades of shit why are they going after they had a terrible system in Boston that was really mean and it was designed to make new design to make National headlines bomb really yes yes they would pay them a lot of money to book him at a club and they would put them on a show with three local headliner Sellers and these local Headliners would just fucking straight up murder and they would do all this local Boston stuff that made everybody excited and then they would have one of these guys who was used to going to Cleveland hey I was just in Indianapolis had a great time did a little comedy that's what I do I'm a comedian and they would go up there and just eat plates of shit and get booed off the stage and people would leave and they were they would do it on purpose to teach him a lesson or something no no they were just mean like those guys never
► 02:18:40first of all those comic those Comics never left Boston okay and they would murder almost every night and they were all animals they're doing coke and they were drinking they were fucking Savages they pay them and Coke really no bullshit yeah Nick's comedy stop used to pay people and Coke yes yeah then pay me in Coke I never did go right but I knew the whole deal everybody knew the deal and so when these guys would come in from out of town they would be angry at these guys and they like those fucking guys got evening at The Improv I don't have that show he was on the fucking movie with but Billy Crystal fuck him and they would go on for of those guys and light them on Fire Light them on fire whose dictating this line at the club well Onyx club they're also the ones on coke so fun for them oh that was just my light them up and they would they would do it on purpose and then a cool you would but some guys would survive like I saw Don Myra in that environment but Dom murdered yeah that was a thing Dom murdered so he would go there and he would talk about how strong the lineup was you know as I was amazing
► 02:19:40this is great but he would go up and murder because he was a real comic Saddam was their pre bubble during the bubble post bubble he's a comic mean those are the best guys yes funny guys who take funny guys on the road with them yes cause not everyone does that well yeah you know like a panic yeah they want they want like the best Comics are like I want someone funny too yes I want a great show you know the reason why I take Ian or Santino or I was took Joey Diaz before he got too big you know Joey Diaz selling out the Chicago Theater nice fucking murder in it but all those guys already and Duncan I there I want to have fun I want to be with Comics I want I want the show to be great I don't want to be the only one as funny that's gross right and I think it's a way to discover new Comics as well like I was I was opening for Neil for a bit for his tour from most of the dates and it was so fun for me because I call headline and stuff but I'm not a draw yet so I need to have walk up for whatever the club I'm doing like they need have a comment on States great you know Madison
► 02:20:40they have walk up these have a trust with the community they all just come to shows oh really yeah it's great or like Comedy Works in Denver I'm just done Comedy on State I heard it's great that's really good there's a theater right next door you probably be doing that like it's such a great deity times yeah the last time I was there was actually a poster for that theater in the back so it's fun to do that when they have a lock-up audience like The Comedy Works like yeah Brando club I'm not a draw yet like in purgatory but the Neil thing was cool because they're all coming for Neil their theaters I'm just doing 20 minutes just like a shit that out it's nothing you know right cause I'm like headlining so there's no pressure there therefore Neil I have a great set and you like you know you were funny so you get like fans from his fans table it's the best in it's a great show as a whole yeah it's like we complement each other so yeah you get to introduce and he gets to enter yeah to a funny comment yeah and I'm so grateful that he gets to do that like pull a guy up and and sort of take a little credit for like I don't know yeah no it's great
► 02:21:40That's Where It's At You know but I don't think this bubbles popping it's too fun it's too good I mean there's too many good people as long as the art form is good the bubble only exists in pops when it's a fake thing like it's a Ponzi scheme that's not really the case right now yeah there's so many good comedians right now everybody's working hard yeah you know everybody realizes that there's a lot of pressure on you so they're all like that's like you were saying like how many sets I do that's why I do so many said yeah the only way to do it I do two sets night three sets a night all the time and there's so many outlets now to which is kind of what's helping it not pop is you have Netflix you have these new streaming like HBO my Amazon Amazon and Apple Apple Jacks against on here in a couple days and he's got damn special yeah and so does Alonzo bodden his Amazon specials coming out soon and then there's a bunch of other people that have Amazon specials of seeing people advertise them on their Instagram so Amazon is putting together a
► 02:22:40bunch of specials now which to me is very very exciting because they have the marvelous mrs. mazal oh yeah one of my favorite shows so I'm just psyched that there's a lot of new venues and then this new streaming things like who knows maybe who'll get in the stand up you know maybe some of these other streaming services will get in the stand up it's great for everybody man really is this is plenty or this guy's like Andrew Schultz he just deciding dreams like as a performer and of the comedian and I think everyone has varying degrees of I think angst that he had coming up and I kind of felt that way as well like people have varying degrees of how much the industry fucks with you sometimes I feel and sometimes I don't I don't feel in I do for certain things and and that was just really refreshing just to take the power back yeah and even seeing it happen with have so many peers in the game like I've known Theo forever yeah we've been puttering around town and doing shows and just you know obscurity and then doing the podcast and and just seeing him take his
► 02:23:40fan base and power back and everyone wanted to fuck with him now hmm and and like they weren't they weren't launching that guy you kind of learn to that it just monkeys picking stocks well a little bit of fairness yeah Theo turned a corner like two years ago where I remember watching him before and amides guys kind of funny he's a unique but then two years ago me and Adam where the back of the room like this motherfuckers turned the corner like he was just killing it you who just really funny but like a funny in a new way like he had hit some yeah some of the words he uses to describe is what he hit that gear and then everything took off from there it was a lot of it was just hard work persistence hard work and just eventually really clicked I think it's like a one-two punch I think was turning that corner and then also just the word to the people democratically just his podcast and and him doing other people's podcast for sure because he's really good on podcast he's just fucking funny Ellie yeah
► 02:24:40funny and then his own podcast where he just looks right at the camera and Rants and talks about shit yeah and you realize like how his fucking unusual brain were there funny sometimes just want to like figure out what this algorithm is or what he's doing and you go no that's this is him you ain't figured yeah yeah no you know you never get like that how would you think to call it that never yeah he's got Theo comedy but it's like we're talking about earlier where no one can really teach you how to do comedy like your you got to figure it out and no one know classically trained comedian if there ever really was one would ever be comparable to the classically trained comedian who bestows babies yeah it would be like those guys that are like fake Seinfeld's or fake Gaffigan or whatever the fuck they are it would yeah the Schultz thing was really cool to see because he just did it on his own yep and what here's the thing and I wanted to bring this up with you Jamie is he Shadow band on Instagram tell me what you think is going on because I texted him on that happened because I looked it up yeah
► 02:25:40and his name is shut up right at the top of my list but he said the other people me yeah I will you wouldn't show up in mind really yes I think a change the algorithm because I've noticed view Muhammad it could be what it could be but there you have to take it like a case by case scenario was the person that first sent some are they already following him do they searched his name a lot did they block anything has ever done people have told him hey man I'm having a hard time finding your Instagram page and so he asked me about it and I said what do you mean and I go I see you right now you're on my feet and he goes don't know if you go to search me sighs you okay let me search you I don't want whoa I searched Andrews Schultz nothing I mean a bunch of other people but not him and he's got a lot of followers like go let's do it right now put it up put it up on screen put it up on the screen let's just do it in real time let this part of what I was saying is I follow him so if you're not already filed by were right but up in a different way but I do follow him I look at this for him hi oh no
► 02:26:39just right Andrew and give them some space right space I haven't got dance space after the show now it should have shown up already all right but just space and then type in his name
► 02:26:53it's not coming up right that's what I'm saying now hit search I don't think it you can't search on that 100 on the web but look it's not showing up you see Andrew Schultz fans even when I typed into their Google account name it didn't show up ago hold on a sec what is that Andrew Schultz fans what does that click on that right there blow it blow it blow blow keep going keep going the blind count there it is that's right click on that and now it's not so it's his fans I just have made a hundred sixty five followers and that's crazy right now I know it's not him I'm just trying to figure out what it is so just in that search it's not showing up and it wouldn't show up for me on my phone either not doesn't make any sense because what does he have like a half a million followers how many followers does have an interesting yeah like he thinks he's being Shadow band what's the are they trying to get some money out of got no 282,000 282,000 people and he can't find his pay
► 02:27:53Instagram is it Schultz with the tea or no just no no ulz but it's not showing up it is not showing up on my knee and now we might be being paranoid here and it might be just something in the search algorithm that for whatever reason his things and showing up and the he used to say Andrew has he's Schultz I don't know why has he was that name of isn't it okay and maybe he thought that has he was fucking him up so he took heavy out of his name in the on his Instagram page so it just says Andrew Schultz now but even though still you can't find it that's weird you have to type in Andrew Shoals all together with no space and then you'll find them it that's what I just didn't didn't come up with no space that's what I was just doing in front while you were asking me to type stuff and I was tired oh so you did it with space and no space that's when I did it to him I was like if you're typing in no space that's where the issue is if I'd leave a note if I type in all the way it should
► 02:28:53up right away and he said well I'm seeing that from people both ways so I go if that's what you're seeing then I'll go out on a limb and sort of say this is your show on is manipulating that search result because you can manipulate search result well here's the thing they do shadowman people on certain social media platforms is has been revealed through hidden camera conversations with people who were whatever moderators or Engineers or people that work behind the scenes on Twitter or Facebook and they do manipulate algorithms manipulate searches and and Shadow ban people and there's a lot of people particularly conservative people which he's not conservative but what he is is you know he's a raunchy comedian and he might have done something that someone felt was not woke or what have you and they want to slow down the broadcasting of a signal that's entirely possible I don't know if it's true though I would love to have a logical explanation
► 02:29:53that still why he's not showing up yes but he's you know he's complaining about it that it's a shadow band anyway go follow Andrew Andrew Schultz yeah SSH ulz Shu LZ go Fang yes I'm in Montreal does it tell them Instagram Shadow bands we can get around you bitch he's a marketing genius is just great to hear him talk about you know what he's doing and I got to get around it and it's exciting because you forget as an artist you have a lot of power a year everything you're the product and sometimes especially in the old model you just kind of waited to be anointed well he's got millions and millions of views on his special on YouTube and if you stop and think about if that was on Comedy Central which Comedy Central didn't want to give them special he probably would get like maybe a million people would watch it when it came out and that would be the end of it I have a special and I think people are watching it just YouTube is accessible
► 02:30:53being comedy jail you could do a great special no one can find it right yeah yeah everyone has YouTube everyone click on the link everyone as you too and this was his logic he was like you know what I'm just going to release the whole thing on YouTube and look he went straight from not selling out clubs to selling out theaters like that now he sells out everywhere internationally and it's amazing from afar to watch the industry change because he's realized because I think early on you so much of your self-worth is put in these people and you just you don't realize to later that all their just heat-seeking missiles yep yeah they don't you know majority of them don't have taste taste it's just whatever's happening yeah it was hot can I get a pie of whatever this is yeah I mean including hacks I mean there's a long history them supporting hacks and thieves it's just a thing where they're what they're trying to do is make money you know if you're an agent or a producer mean there's no benefit in you supporting an artist that is not going to be commercially viable yeah
► 02:31:52to find out like who's it gonna be who's gonna pop who's going to be the next movie star who's going to be in the movies you know you have to figure that person out and what was it like when women see a thing went down what was the climate like for you say professionally after that went down because he was at a different level at that time right yeah yeah it was more popular than me with comedy for sure you know I was doing Fear Factor back then and I wasn't really working on the road that much I really couldn't you know I was doing no 30 episodes a year plus so 30 weeks a year of work and that wasn't really enthusiastic about traveling when I was doing that yeah I just wanted a I was exhausted and then I was doing the store too so it's mostly just working on my act and just doing stand-up and they supported him because he was the one who was making the money I mean in fact I left my agency because they wanted me to apologize to him and then Louis wound up leaving them at Al wound up leaving them and Swartz and wound up leaving them everybody left
► 02:32:52them right after that because they found out that they wanted me to apologize to him the everybody in the industry knew what was going on right but they wanted to turn a blind eye and make money so it did it hurt my career while I stopped going to the store but that didn't hurt me as much as it hurt them it hurt the store because I told everybody and then that place was a ghost town I mean it went from being packed when I was there because I would let them put my name up on the Marquee and I was working for free that's how fucking stupid Tommy was fucking dummy but then when you know he got fired and I came back and made it all worth it you know the whole thing was it was interesting because it could show you that if there was someone who was doing what Mencia was doing that you can get away with it and even with someone who was successful like me like I got another agent like that I mean but but I let my agent literally said I was going to have to apologize to him like you're out of your fucking mind
► 02:33:53I go listen I'm not only am I not doing this this is we're never going to work this out I'll never work with you again because you're asking me to apologize to someone who is literally a vampire someone is stealing from the work of other artists all he does and you guys know it and you guys are profiting off of this like this is you're making a giant mistake and I turned out it was correct but it was interesting because even though it didn't hurt me financially I got to see that they were trying to because you know he wanted them he want an apology yeah and I was like you're out of your fucking mind I'm not apologizing to you and as it kept getting people became more and more aware other people started finding other bits that he had like the real thing that sunk him was Cosby really funny now and think about it now but he had this like such obvious theft of a Cosby bit me he stole all the inflections and then she switched it around a little bit but people who work with them try and tell him to stop doing that bit because it was a giant famous Cosby bit
► 02:34:52and he just insisted that he's going to do it and when that big on YouTube that and Mexican folks finding out he wasn't really Mexican that was a fucking knife in the heart when they were like what like what when they found out what his real name was like you gotta be fucking kidding me there was so much going on then though it was you know he was really popular yeah he went from selling out these giant places and you know kicking ass all over the country and people knew him from the television show and they thought he was hilarious I guess that's kind of cool but stand-up is that of all the art forms stand-up has the most Justice and then hmm now it does now there's a lot of people made it through the net back in the day there were just criminals I guess it was harder to know back then there was no internet there was just sort of like word of mouth or you would hear stories look we all know that there's parallel thinking and then there's even cases where you forget you heard something I've done it I've definitely we hash it out like a comic or something would be like for sure okay yeah you can
► 02:35:52yeah we're all Pals right and it's bound to happen it's gonna have you just have the conversation if you're a pro you like I don't need that bits yeah exactly and then there's also people that are like you know like you said that word that's the word that I say in my bit you like what like some people are hypersensitive it's almost like delusional yeah some people get delusional that's like I talked about being in a relationship so oh yeah stop doing that yeah I appreciate it that's hilarious I brought my girlfriend recently to so yeah I own that well especially things that are current events right if they're like something like I can't believe you're talking about Trump you know I do that whole trumpet yeah what are you crazy I've seen these conversations Fredo bit yeah please not
► 02:36:34that guy's Never Gonna live that down I'm telling you yeah this is just brewing this is just starting he's never living that down that's one you know I wrecked your shit all right could throw you down a flight of stairs yeah was there stairs nearby or would they have to go up the have to go find some Sarah just you're not gonna lie like this trip down that's a weird thing to say to someone throw you down a flight of stairs so you want to hurt them but you want the gravity to do all the work yeah that's true so it's not that tough lazy it has all that potential energy once it gets up there and just knock him over right that's funny looking at it like an engineer yeah I've got to use it somehow my dad so proud that I pulled out of the bag do you use your engineer training at all and your stand-up is there anything else I think one quality I can take away from all the engineering schooling I'm not doing formulas and equations and all that but I think it's just a manner of which I approach things and time management I'm wired a certain way where
► 02:37:31I can be studious on my own I don't I'm not like smoking weed on the couch and like I'm a muse or I'm a vessel God's Maria like I'm okay what do I got what's what I want to do one of my goals for this year let's say how many times do I have when I'm working on for this set so I'm just a little industrious it's taught me and also when it comes to bits like I see them in a certain way like the way I get the bits it's very organic and that's what I like about it is that it's not clinical or anything it's just magical how I think of something and I'm grateful for that you give yourself time to think do you like specifically do things like go on walks or anything where you you not specifically but what I found is one of my favorite things to do is to go to a diner sit in a booth breakfast have coffee and then you keep on refilling it and I'm on my phone and I'm on Twitter and Instagram and my mind's just kind of and I'm listening to music I love music so I'm just scouring Spotify and hype machine just for new music hype machine I don't know what that is
► 02:38:32so I love so that's how I find music like hype machine and also Spotify hype machine is this blog aggregate so there's music blogs right there's one called like acids tag that I like a lot so you can follow a Blog and they'll post songs everyday maybe they'll post six songs a day this website you can follow different blogs and it's like following someone on Instagram or something so you look at your your feed and you get to hear all the songs your favorite blogs have posted within the website and there's an app on your phone to and these are kind of underground songs these aren't top 40 so it's a way to hear great music that you wouldn't hear on the radio and they're they're not any less great there's this whole subculture in genre of music that is magnificent but it's not on top 40 so people don't really know about it hmm so I hate machines a great way to get some cool tracks off the beaten path spots I've never heard of that before that's interesting height machine so music plays a big part in my comedy yeah right machine yeah what's popular now yeah look over sizes
► 02:39:31their shop for tea so even this is a little poppy for me I'll have certain blogs and I'll be like finding yeah it's like when yeah Dove yeah pretty I mean for this type of music yeah whatever makes whatever makes the popular ante hold on you're not gonna know scroll back up please Durante Maya that's Papi it's not fuck knows any of this music if there's Childish Gambino I know what that guy's if you're like a teen or early twenties you'll know the stuff really yeah so I just love listening to music drinking coffee and on my phone and I'll just get these ideas hmm But also just living life I'll be walking around and I'll get an idea jot it down well you don't have a day job which helps know that's that's really helps collect material believe it or not yeah I think Comics have to be amused and you have to be experiencing just life life if you're working all the time like it was harder when I was working at Boeing because I had that mental fatigue of just working on right you know parts and all that yeah computational stuff so I'm not thinking about bits when I'm selecting arms suck it
► 02:40:31do you too I can see that because you think that oh it's just like you know I didn't really work on my act that much during the day anyway now I have a job doing doing acting I'll probably get just as much material uh no no you won't you're going to be wrapped up in whatever the fuck you're doing and then when you go to do stand-up you Billy oh yeah time to do stand-up now I'll think about it yeah but you really need that time to be just 32 think yeah it's kind of crucial to the creative process and think about that but that's true because those other jobs you have mental focus that you're not dedicating to standing bit yeah where I'm at a diner and yeah my mind's just floating around it seems like you're not working like someone on the outside would be like you know even working I might come up with a gem that might be my next closing bit yeah that is worth randomly yeah because you gave yourself that time yeah like you just are watering the grass and a mushroom pops up even with me I think there's a big breakthrough and just accepting that I'm an artist because
► 02:41:31you know a person want me to do it for so long and it was this dirty thing and it was always yeah pimps and prostitutes go to the club so stand up in comedy was like a vampire feeding it was just this thing that I do over here and I want to do it but it was always different than when I supposed to be doing it was always on the side is like a hobby type or I would there was a division within my mind but once I left Boeing and I was doing it full time what was the impetus like what how did you make the decision ideally I always had this Pie in the Sky scenario that would happen for me to leave Boeing I would think all right if I got to the point where I'm doing engineering and stand up I want you to a point where it's glaringly obvious that engineering is holding me back from this other path and I have to make the jump so I needed that to happen and then I think enough things happen where I kind of had that situation I had I booked this acting thing I booked a role on Chuck and this is Chuck I'll still working at Boeing
► 02:42:31like a huge guest star I've got about shark yeah so I'll now do these things towards the end of my tenure at Boeing I would I had a manager and I'll get auditions so I would duck out for lunch and I'm in Long Beach and I would drive up to Hollywood and do an audition and wow I'm gonna be gone for that one I would like do a combo at a lunch and doctor's appointment then I would do or I would take off I'll come in early and leave early if an audition but I'd be very strategic about what I - I can't be but they drop so this one went out for Chuck and then I auditioned and then I got it this is huge guests are I'm still working at Boeing and they need me for eight days I have a day job so I said I had a family emergency in Seattle I have to go back home and they're like okay but I was just in Burbank shooting Chuck just shooting and then I go back to work and people see you on TV now the luckily there was enough of a lead time where that wasn't coming out for a long time so he quit no not yet so I just
► 02:43:31okay cool like I still keep on keep on being an engineer and then a couple things happened I did anybody notice you on Chalk when I read the thing is that happened when I left Boeing so so aired after I had left oh how much lead time was there quite a quite a bit maybe like six months or what sport the end and so no one knew I did stand-up and the beauty of it was when I entered the workforce of engineering everyone is substantially older than me there were like and thirties or they don't know about hype machine yet another high machine so it wasn't second nature to be like what's your Myspace or because jig would have been up immediately yeah so there was no social media was not second nature with coworkers so there was a big enough generational Gap so I was able to for three years just no one know anything so I do the Chuck thing and then I also got really far and standard its 10th NBC has the standard for diversity initiative every year you do a stand-up competition thing from different cities and then they have a final showcase so I
► 02:44:31like second on that so I got some college gigs out of it I got quite a few College gigs and then I booked this show on MTV called Disaster Date which is like boiling points for dating they had a cast and I was one of the cast members and you just go on dates with friends would set up their friends with dates and there would be like this is the things that she hates and you would just be the worst date ever and you see how long they last on the date so they need me for eight month or know three months fun what do I do yeah three months so this was kind of that situation where I'm like fuck all right all right I just did Chuck I some college gigs lined up this MTV show needs me for three months I got it I gotta do this oh well I didn't do that yet I try to take a leave of absence because I plan on coming back I was like can I need something came up going to be gone for three months and then I'll they're like no you can't do that
► 02:45:21like are you sure I just kept on trying to finesse it and they wouldn't let me and then I was reading about unemployment and stuff and I read that you couldn't quit you how to get fired right yeah so I'm like all right here's what I'm doing so I wrote my last day there I wrote an email just like hey guys I'll be gone for this three months I plan on returning on this day and then I just went incommunicado like I didn't I didn't pick up any phone calls if I was going to fight I want to get fired by them right because I didn't want them I didn't want to run the books that I quit right for some reason my engineering brain is like this is great I'll get them on a technicality they'll fire me and I'll get my unemployment if I need to
► 02:46:01so I leave Boeing I'm shooting the show for three months and then eventually I get like a termination letter in the mail from Boeing huh yes but then it turns out I mean I could have collected unemployment from the MTV show I didn't even have to go out that way oh really I mean it was fine like it wasn't yeah are used to collect unemployment for dude he was he was like my Guiding Light and that regard because early on especially when I left Boeing and the MTV thing comes and goes I do two seasons of it and then put that's not like a fucking guy got a rock-solid thing and re would show me the ropes it'd be like but he's collecting unemployment from an acting job you're gonna jump the new you're gonna unemployment that's how fucking works yeah he taught me how to do it and I uh never heard of anybody getting employment from acting gigs yeah alright would do a commercial that's how it works like employers you pay into it and all that it's all on the up-and-up it's just part of an actor's I guess requirement or necessity of an actor is being available yes so if you booked a commercial like a Toyota commercial let's say you make 30
► 02:47:00under 20 grand whatever and that chunk you've made enough money in that quarter tool to apply because you're paying into it with it then all you have to hit a certain amount and then you're eligible there's tears of how much money you get for unemployment then you're eligible for x amount of dollars every two weeks or whatever and that helped me keep afloat for like a year and then I got to the point where I didn't need I didn't need it I had enough study were coming in but that was when you tell your parents I thought that they would take it worse and they did but I think we had been at odds for so long that what I've noticed is you can't stay in 11 your whole life right yeah so I think they had to know this day was going to come eventually because I would talk about that was a plan the whole time I guess it's never thought that it would come to fruition now when you quit how long did you wait or when you get fired how long do you wait for you told them you don't have a day job anymore yeah it was that uses around Christmas is around the holidays so we were at my aunts house and then I told you
► 02:48:00the but I wasn't like it went over better and I thought yeah I was surprised what did you say all the good things you're getting yeah obviously come on I'm not gonna quit and I'm gonna figure it out figure it out but I like having guys for money later but I'm really proud of that in this whole Adventure I've never asked my parents for money and I think that's a win yes that's a huge win it's a huge win yeah and I hope that they kind of noticed that through the tough times is never that that mean that's a sign it's going well they should figure that out that's a giant win yeah but I mean I just want to tell people if they have the similar path that you don't there's this romanticized version of being an artist where you just pack up all your things coming to La yeah man in like now I gotta be a hundred percent of my art yeah you love have a plan do you want to set yourself up for success or are you trying to throw you an artist are you an engineer you got you be both none there's a lot of hours in the day you're that you're a prime example of that
► 02:49:00amazing all the things you do there are so many hours in a day and it's such a cop-out to be like I've got to be all in it I'm going to live and breathe my art otherwise I'm gonna hack not be methodical set yourself up for Success well I think you have to be disciplined disciplined for sure I think it's very important you can still be artistic and discipline a contrary to popular opinion you can yeah and you have to be careful not to lose yourself when you come to La how many people do you know who come out here with a particular plan to like be an artist or a writer and they're a fucking birthday parties every day like it when you come to La you can go to son's birthday party at a bar every day really oh yeah yeah there's so many it's everyone's birthday everyday to this town so big yeah that's true so you get some yeah yeah yeah you'll see it to some artists like they'll go down this networking rabbit hole and they have no tangible and they never want to do a bad show they just want to do the best shows and they don't just focus on getting good at stand up
► 02:50:00honey it's just I'm going to this party so and so's here and they have nothing do you ever Envision a time where one of us or maybe a collection of us writes down all these things but it also has some sort of a guidebook to stand-up comedy I really think someone could benefit from it means this it really is the only art form that as we were saying before is a viable art form and large scale that doesn't have any book or nothing yeah not I mean every fucking book about comedy like how to do comedies pterosaurs yeah you know what's weird you know what's scary there's all these formulas mm-hmm I think podcasting has taken some of the mistake out of it yeah I think it's also created a bunch of fans of the process to sure like I've talked to people that have like come up to me at the comedy store and said hey Irish I saw you first do that bit a year ago and I watch it change and then when it became on your Netflix specials like holy shit like look at it it's kind of cool to see it grow and become viable
► 02:51:00yeah I think it's cool that there's an audience for that or that they value that because I think it's easy to assume the end consumer just wants to the finished product yeah but they're comedy fans are so Savvy now they want to see that process and they feel like they're let in like yeah I'm cool like it's not a magic trick anymore no no no it's different yeah no I agree listen man I'm glad I got you in here from my pleasure brother my pleasure and it's always cool seeing you at the store you're funny motherfucker thanks man and I wish you all the best so tell everybody what your Instagram what is the it's Fahim Anwar so just my name on Twitter same Fahim Anwar and then I'm a special on Amazon called There's No Business Like Show Business so I want people to watch that I don't usually shows on Amazon yeah but it was acquired so it wasn't like an original I did it for making you so oh that's today but everyone knew that was going down yeah yeah our brother thank you very much thank you too bye everybody
► 02:51:59thank you my friends for tuning into the show and thank you to our sponsors thank you to Dollar Shave Club that Dollar Shave Club has everything you need for showering shaving brushing your teeth looking great and you could put the quality of Dollar Shave club's products to the test their ultimate shave starter set as basically everything you need for an amazing shave the executive razor the one that I use shave butter prep scrub and post-shave do in the best part is you can try for just five bucks after that the restock box ships regular sized products at a regular price get your ultimate starter set for just $5 at dollarshaveclub.com Rogan that's dollarshaveclub.com / Rogan thank you also to Blue Apron you can make some delicious brag worthy meals at home without all the hassle with blue apron I love their food they have awesome variety
► 02:52:58Licious recipes and you can check out this week's menu and get $60 off when you visit Blue Apron.com / Rogan that's Blue Apron.com Rogan Blue Apron a better way to cook we are also brought to you by movement watches I'm wearing one of their watches right now I wear it all the time it's just dope little black one with a cool black silicone band and very minimalist design super high quality and they have an awesome sale going on right now go to MVM t.com right now through August 18th and use the code M VM T and the number26 to unlock 26 percent off that's watches starting at just 17 bucks and sunglasses starting at $45 $45 and again super high quality stuff folks they cut out the retail middle person and they make you really good
► 02:53:58acts for a fraction of what it would cost at a department store so visit MVM t.com and join the motherfucking movement and last but not least for sure we are brought to you by the host of Joe Rogan.com Squarespace I love square space square space allows you a regular person to make a fucking bad-ass website and you can try it for free this is how confident they are in their product just go to squarespace.com Joe for a free trial then when you're ready to launch use the offer code Joe to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain and again you can go to Joe Rogan.com and check out my web space my website rather that is a Squarespace website so is Doug Stanhope.com so is Duncan Trussell.com it's an awesome service and you're going to love it my friends that's it love to you all thank you and appreciate you everybody who came out to shows this weekend thank you so much we had a fucking amazing time in Portland and in
► 02:54:58Mountain View California it was beautiful I'm beyond thankful and I'm working hard I love you bye