#1358 - Sober October 3

Oct 1, 2019

Joe is joined by Ari Shaffir, Bert Kreischer & Tom Segura to discuss their 3rd annual Sober October challenge.

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this is sober October folks this is where it goes down this is it this is the sober October podcast and we sort of establish what we're going to do and how we're going to do it we're not making as extreme of contest as last year but there is one contest aspect of it that will it kind of got revealed towards the end spoiler alert enjoy it the great powerful Ari shaffir the Great and Powerful Tom Segura and Bert motherfucking Crusher we had a great time I hope you enjoy it as well please give it up for the sober October Crew The Joe Rogan Experience trained by day Joe Rogan podcast by night all day

there's no way that dude you're like dude 10 minutes LAX to Burbank what are you doing helicopter I'm gonna helicopter last night ten minutes which is across the thousand dollars it cost you more in that thousand dollars to go where we going thousand dollars LAX so to skip coming up check out blade wait why do you why do you want to go I was perfect home for less than 24 hours to strip yeah and I was panicking and then I was like what does it cost to get a helicopter my assistant Andrew my cousin Andrew was like he's like let's check and he's like it's actually it's not that expensive he's like $1,000 I was like have a party let's shoot some videos will get in the helicopter wow and so we just shot a video to promote date what does it cost to fly straight to Burbank it can't float fairy from LAX to Burbank no I mean from wherever you were you gotta connect explain me what you doing it for again just to put it on just promote dates no but no but to skip it's too so you can you skip the 405 yeah yeah where are you going though we were going from we landed at LAX last night at five o'clock and I was like

gonna be an hour traffic for two hours right and I was like I'm gonna get home and I won't see the girls or to be asleep and so I was like fuck it let's get a helicopter and then they grabbed you about the from the door of the plane they drive you on the cross the tarmac over the helicopter and your home in ten fucking minutes let's go it's nice and it was it for Sunset it was beautiful big thing though York to there's actually like three or Long Island know you can even fly airport you go to JFK from Newark to be like say you can go from Midtown you can go from downtown to these blades stations and fly to JFK I mean seems cool yeah if you can if you can wrap your head around it as marketing and opposed to like a lifestyle in New York it's way way less expensive because those are pools so it's like it's on it's on a rotation going so you just buying a seat you know I mean you're not you're not doing it for yourself damn it no but I was I did it to go to a gig in New York so I did I was in New York and it was to go to Jersey so I skipped all the rush hour traffic and that's what we're it's really fucking was anything but they said you

go to if you're going out of JFK you can do it that way to our Earth is dying or having private helicopter tonight I was reading an article about that today do you know like people keep saying you know we need to stop eating meat save the environment yeah do you know that greenhouse gases only 9% of all greenhouse gases nine percent are because of Agriculture less than half of that is because of wheat of meat what is it fun less than half of that is because of beef so you're literally dealing with like three percent what's all the greenhouse gas emissions from then pollution cars yeah he knows helicopter helicopter you go to Vietnam and they're burning their trash in the front yard well my God lays it there what everything what is this country every day it is a piss on a fire compared to what is happening in the rest of the world well just the thing is that you can't save the world by not eating meat just to let everybody know right the meat thing is coming from the guy who just shot a one-ton elk

that animal is a wild animal is nothing to do with animal agriculture yeah it's probably about 800 pounds coming out of know he was a hundred pairs so cool to carry that out yeah well we got lucky that we get a ranger to it so we had a quarter it up and then we put it in the back one of those four wheel drive things and they can drag to have got it out of this is recently you just this week he's got where was this one Utah the mountains it is for y'all right it's front yard do it a couple of times where I get on there yeah just want to me I definitely want something really do I'll give you some elk sausage before you leave here with a bunch are just like a hundred pounds nothing crazy did I can give you a hundred pounds 400 pounds of meat off your very much meat when you bring it home you like fuck this no room in the fridge no but I also have three commercial freezers here and I have to at home yeah you really do I get that you really do eat it though because you're always hate the fucker that doing yeah yeah yeah good it makes you healthy it looks so good you said so I put an Instagram picture of my plate I made it like Joe's mix it

plates and you know I guess nice steak kimchi some jalapenos avocado posted it and fucking everyone's like Rogan Rogan Rogan it's like you're known for what your plate looks like do you eat healthy I am now times and now I lost I'm down 21 pounds really yeah but would you do shit I went to the cardiologist and he was like this is not really and he's like MN you get a fatty liver I heard you talking with the black stripes yes about that white stripe or the white no not the White Stripes black key like Keith always with the black and the white can we give our nicknames legitimately no no he said it's at the beginning he's a huge because he's been testing my livers having not been having a heart attack for letting things your that's no joke you lost how much

21 count that's crazy in the in the last how long and 1 month are you down below I didn't drink what are your big thing around I worked and I got a hot spin every day and I was home and tried wasn't touring hospitals like hot yoga but you're spinning yeah maybe heat on it's like something agrees it's really awesome wow dude yeah I took brandish all the hot spots just called hot Spanish Sweatshop in Toluca Lake Sweatshop which appear to be generally yeah I told her appropriating slave labor it it's yeah Sweatshop or for some rich fucking Suburban people to wait half exercise because sweatshops are real thing is both limited and you will never understand so I should be quiet I have a black people talk here calamari keep going to that and wait what did the doctor say you will you say what he said yeah yeah that's how you say you got a fatty liver and then he goes he did a sonogram of my of my organs every time he does like us Santa gravel yeah he said your he goes your livers looking fatty I said I like it myself from drinking it was no it's because you're 258 pounds

and he's like it's the most common thing I see when I go and work as a doctor for like clinics as like just donate his time he was everyone's got a fatty litter it's just the and that is the cause of the beginning of your decline for your health and I went well I just if freaks me out and I was like all right no booze no snow sweets no sugars no pastas no Breads and I was like I'm losing I'm gonna fucking lose weight so you can drink at home for a month no I had like a couple drinks get to ring the bell to quit we're going to set this place up with ice and vodka just leave it all away and I table I could I could easily tap out first that we were we were thinking that we kind of cheated by smoking cigars well it's already done we got high and these cigars we were hoping to eating it sarees alcoholic kombucha well we were hoping that you guys are going to tell him

cheated and that's my God that'd be lovely hey guess what you're right you're losers over twelve o'clock flight tonight so you know sugar no pasta no booze or very little booze very little bun that's great what's what's very little Friday Saturday like I could do it I could drink on Friday or Saturday but how much did you drink in front now much because all of his I get I get super I get like with the first thing Friday centers I didn't drink poster you and getting an IV because backed by the way where do I tell you what happened that backfired on me big fucking time well I why do you need it though let's start with let's start with Alt with re slipping me Molly let's start there you slipped it on yeah dude what are you doing what are you doing how much it's not enough interest did you do it where was this there was that one of my children oh yeah

the other capsule and fucking put it into a show you out of your mind yeah yeah yeah it was it was great no it was it was great it was not they're making me go on this fucking stupid shit yeah Joe what kind of sociopath are we friends with he did it to punish me because I have to be sober you don't give up Molly you're only giving up alcohol I don't I don't do Molly because I could come back to the doctor and he said hey it's time to get healthy I agree so yeah I agree you don't think it's fucking crazy that you would do that I bet yeah you're not doing it for like a your fucking college roommate do as you like and get the Molly tested like where are you buying this Molly not done it for my favorite Molly dealer yeah yeah high pressure high cholesterol did out there guys you're all tied with what if kill you you fucking want to kill he wanted tip about 10 minutes and I wanted to kick them that he was fine when it's not fun was it it's not positive Molly are you it's fucking I was only I was ready to fly that night I was on a fucking plane going like Windsor

fucking stop so I didn't know that orange juice kicks it back up so I'm drinking orange juice kicks it back vitamins for see that orange just generally on the fucking plane I'm drinking trying to get hydrated because I'm a fucking Molly and so I'm drinking tea nose and orange juice I drink and Tito's when you're on Molly Hey Joe Joe Biden he's a mom and dad and pick the Molly but you already knew you were on it yeah and I was having severe panic attacks because I'm like I don't do Molly and I'm thinking that kid died from Mali and Mexico that comedy writer oh yeah I don't think it was that he died from Ali and I'm sitting there going story 46 or high blood pressure high cholesterol I'm on pain I'm on meds it was great he's noticed how great his wife looked and he was like she's awesome I've got a great wife I was definitely on Molly window like your diff I'm did you do this a lot no like drinks I've never done it before really yeah the first time and what made you fucking doesn't work because I don't really want to do the sobriety things you mean for the money for the More Steam to do a drug yeah sorry

doing it for me yeah fun part party drug we had a great actor Tom would you only have to burn he said he'd do it to you if this Pockets was yesterday then yeah you would've all been dosed seriously yeah I said to him you would not do this to Joe and he goes 100% I would yeah it was like yesterday wouldn't have broken up sobriety you just offer it to us yeah why well yeah why why the speed wouldn't take it the way he take it you I could offer it to you're a fucking grown up this is child you're not a grown-up how maddham I would you be if you guys fight I'd be very mad if you ever house it was your last have something to do the problem is if you have something to do that's good that's out the one you were good thank you we were planning on talking the podcast I'm kind of looking at putting on having a couple drinks with you and then having to lie to getting you out of my house having dinner with my children relaxing getting on a plane and going on tour instead that's crap you had so much fun hmm I don't believe your fake anger anger in this

I wasn't want here's what I did was I wouldn't you side with his heart thank you I appreciate it I appreciate and story thank you that's not what I heard he said how much he likes being on my side look I would like to be on your side too but I would be enraged it called he said he said I'm gonna call Tom he's gonna be really mad at you I'm like there's no Tom's gonna die laughing instantly Amigos know he's gonna be mad at you how many times you done Molly me yeah I don't think I've ever know none zero zero yeah you of course when I was a kid yeah did ecstasy yeah I guess okay so I've never done Molly I've never done Molly's just pure ecstasy yeah I've never done Molly's way better it's better for you have you yeah once like like like you put the powder in your lip or we took pills yeah yeah the problem was the next day thank you I was so dumb the next day I remember being in a coffee shop trying to read a magazine yeah I couldn't read I couldn't I couldn't take in a paragraph which

to read a paragraph then we'll start over again and I would try to read it again out of your mind what do you mean start over again and then I write and that bomb that night yeah I went on stage that night you guys going for I'd go on tour to what 2,800 people that night on the next I know Molly and I was like holy moly I was like coming off of drugs and I was like I was like mother like are shaky I couldn't think straight I was like fucking you can't think straight yeah once you do get off that stuff the thing is like you're dumb like you're you're you're you're all your brain juice is all fucking squeezed out you don't think I mean like you definitely will see that spiking a girls drink is not okay right if it's for sex yeah that's not okay but just for Goofs for Goofs now if your friends what and the right circumstances absolutely listen listen to dr. Hook's will overhear your little fucking only pulling sex into it if it's just for fun good times what is the right circumstances where you'd be able to drugs and up

your people are out and then everyone's going to do acid and then some parties always somebody's always like kind of like expressed interest in acid and then you don't know if they're going to do it or not to just like I'm I know you you would like this you took some I think you know it's not okay I know you I know you regretted it after you did it the next day I think you felt bad about it I felt no I thought yeah right notice how you text and Tom did to you were like hey man had a great time the other day yeah I told you what to take 5-HTP yeah go get some it's great stabilizer oh nothing helped sweet did it take it all this lead to the IV is this what I've let C IV cause I was like I was just I was shaking and I was like man I don't feel right and they're like you're on Molly last night you didn't sleep on the plane I flew all through the night didn't sleep I was just fucking like than I did it fuck up your shows I don't know I don't know no I don't think so I mean II you pull it together people think I think people think I'm hammered on stage anyway

and so but what happened was I couldn't the whole week and I kept trying to just write the boat by going like and you can't do that without call you just got to do that by like getting off and but it's my last week and I'm sober October and it just is why I'm like right now I'm just like well fuck damn re I'm sorry I'm not sorry I don't really like did it yeah are you serious what a great podcast the tide that I'd be more sorry who's podcast wasn't yours mine came out great come on Molly yeah I tell you the fucking I'll tell you I will never love this man Joey Diaz I called I called you when I called you then I called I'm panicking I'm gonna Panic you called me yeah I didn't get it I was I was on stage that right and then I called back after Tom called me back and then Joey Diaz I said are you just let me Molly and all he said is I'll be there in ten ten minutes I came to help in the house sat with me is like you told the story's gonna be fine we just told stories the sun was going over his shoulder and it was just setting so

he's like a fucking it was like he was like a god ew shouldn't do that Ari yeah okay but talk about the good parts though no I thought it was beautiful you're like you're like a guy that raped her but going yeah but you like dick right the dick was in you you like dicks in Utah was with that with you were with sun setting behind Joey Diaz as he tells you stories of starting comedy what's I mean you know what he's doing right he's like see it was a good night it was so great it was so fun I'm I can't I can't I can't close on this because I don't want kids here in this going oh I did it she averaged Ari shaffir no no no I'm gonna Spike my friends drunk now please don't do it point I can't cosine and I can't even release the fucking podcast because I don't want I don't want anyone going like because I am in a good mood I'm Molly yeah I'm high as shit you don't want anyone getting active representation of what Molly does to you I don't want kids it's different if I don't get myself over a trained eye the whole podcast about you drugging me it's not about me taking Molly I think you've expressed that you were against it on

podcast

the views of this podcast do not represent do you know how hard it is to be your friend there are no idea it was so great to see you all smiles but you were saying your mood ever you never dose anybody before we try that one moment those Bert yeah I realize how great it'd be I had to take out you got a delay if you went to Tom's house to a podcast you have the molly on you think you would have dosed him okay he said he says he was wise different his home alone hasn't really I feel like he's not the reason I have to do this months of sobriety where I do blame you a lot more mmm then let's not do it I'm Derek I don't want to be that thought I want to be scared to be around yelling go see you again that's the one time I think just get the ice that's a one-time only thing you got a not do that again dude that's what I'm concerned with about loosing the podcast come wondering if there's like someone's gonna go that's that's illegal let's fucking call the police like I'm well this podcast wouldn't exist without the really Gallery cast the entire time we're doing it we're smoking weed from the beginning of the podcast 10

ago yeah only weeds only been legal since two years ago top you laugh like crazy when you heard about it well I'm on the phone in a green room he's like all right Spike my drink I was like so I didn't know like really what was going I didn't know he was even serious and though I'm on the phone he's got a Hydro Flask with his name on it but I look like a little kid machine little cable is no touching my drink turn it turn it to me whatever you say so you're like a little kid when notebook says Berlin are you sure seventh grade yeah that is for sure yeah he said he we went I went to the shocking I couldn't be around my kids I just say goodbye to my kids at night high as fuck I go to my daughter's room she's got these lasers that makes stars on our ceiling and your dad I'm blowing up I'm just like okay it's like I'll turn it up I go turn this up daughter she gave me a hug and I was like fucking beaming I was like I smelled her hair and I was like God I fucking love you it sounds awesome and I'm like and in my head I'm like Joey said something to me that goes you would have already had your stroke would have already happened

fuck man like Joe he's a doctor nobody but nobody in those moments in those moments and held out it helps just panic attacks right right right so give to Island Georgia hugs and kisses goodbye give me an longest kiss goodbye and it's probably my play something till midnight it's like 7 o'clock I can't be in there I can't be around them it's my I'm like talking fucking quick I have big ideas and so then I go to the store right how good was the shower showers pretty amazing yeah right showers pretty I can't deny Molly's not fucking amazing it's just it's the congas element its eyes to come down is not worth it my opinion does not worth it at all and then we went to the store well you did and I just hung out I just had this I needed to be somewhere in a cocoon just what is the way to the airport yeah so the only place a flexible than 30 yeah Source right side of the store for like an hour drinking Comedy Store yeah probably store see went on Molly to The Comedy Store yeah I just went there to hang out in the back room he came in all Angry like our film at you and then David Spade was there and he loves celebrities I was like what happened

all right it's funny story let me tell you I did was killing in The Green Room you Achilles killing by the way I took him on stage and it destroyed on stage but but but I but so you were high on Molly on stage no no no that that told about getting oh the next day the next day when you're doing your shows I want to see the Sox have what coming comedian what do I got to do with it yeah victim laying my tour bus don't let anything that's good you should do that if you get raped what if that's the that's the new machine it's I won't I won't be hey man why don't why so negative because it's amazing I go I even that's your new thing so they're like taking shirt off people just spiked your drink oh my God we just start going oh my God you can't accept drinks from any what's a one-time-only thing no not with our fuck

and fans are happens that I've done it's over everybody that's you know I don't answer you have to apologize that is a one-time thing I listen I'm sorry I'm glad a great time with you but I'm sorry had to come to me doing it behind your back cut that fucking thing off your wrist but but I'm glad we did it was so much fun at some point he just goes he was like starting to get angry and then goes well your eyes are great let me see those eyes beautiful yeah I'll be a better place if everybody was on just a smidge yeah just a smidge of Molly all the time probably a lot more empathetic world even give a full dose thanks man half a dose the best efforts the best is he goes eyes were in the store and while talking to Tony Hinchcliffe and I go he would never have done it to anyone else who only would have done it to me and he goes no that's not true that's not true I said would you do this for Logan he goes a hundred percent it was like he was never there was altogether yes no you and Joe at his house you wouldn't spiked his drink and then go hey man if he forced

into a thing where I had to give up things I love for a month but yeah he would have got it sorry isn't has been mad at you and I listen I'm probably only one here besides him that listens to his podcast podcast I do Ari gets fucking furious at you Bert for this well then fuck him let's stop by the house you got me down be proud October what are you really mad at him for that so mad so mad he got so mad it didn't even do anything he drank just as much after October as before never curbed anything what are we still doing this for he's got a point that their whole reason why we did in the first place was to try to sober you up we didn't we didn't think Bill do it he had no problem at all so are we announcing that on the first of October we're done with this shit listen no one has a problem here except Bert I like a glass of wine with with dinner maybe too isn't it a shot I like a shot of whiskey before I go onstage that's nice to maybe occasionally I like a bee

while I'm on stage watching the Yankees I'm not a drinker in a sense of I don't get drunk a lot if I get drunk once a month it's a crazy month like drunk and it's usually somewhere whether I'm like with you guys or something and we just maybe a podcast we're just we just start doing drinks yeah you just get like a I've always wondered that you just get like a buzz like a little buzz and then you're fine and I stopped yeah did I work out too much I'm too healthy I'm you know getting up in the morning most mornings I'm either doing yoga or I'm running or lifting weights and doing cardio I just I did I can't take the beating BNF 52 it's not fun you know the beating on your bottle of alcohol yeah yeah the beating of the you know as you get older it's harder to recover from things hard to recover from workouts hard to get back into shape but if you stay in shape so that's the whole thing is like staying in shape if you stay in shape and take care of your body you can get you can get a lot more life out of your body than most people think right looks like it's inevitable that

body's going to fall apart within my body falls apart it's 60 or 70 whatever the fuck the year is going to be it's going to happen but right now works great so my thought is right now I'm not going to fuck it up I do a little bit of booze I like a little bit but I can recover from a little bit no problem sure and there's a lot of studies that show that like a little bit of wine in particular glass of wine or two is actually there's some benefits to it there's actually some health benefits it didn't but also us pushing this month because you know has become more about the like the camaraderie and the challenge aspect and not really about needing sobriety right well he needs it though stop you know how to do a problem at all quitting I've no problem quitting that's right last year but ours you're correct I actually have less of a problem than he does because he's spiking people drink to get back at them because they won't let him drink well he's just angry at you because he likes to drink in October and he actually doesn't have a problem and I like to do drugs you don't even do drugs for you yeah

says guys right here in this box I got mushrooms I got acid we can get partying we can get partying you guys we can get crazy how about we just talked over except for acid so you can nibble on asset the whole month except for mushrooms we can microdose I would want for me I would just be like hey can we just do Edibles all month but just stay away from everything else that yeah I love animals One Drug on that's my you know you know what I like I like a couple of pumps the old T HC spray that's good just two pumps sure everything is the skies brighter I love a place called post-show like low milk dosage I love that man walk around afterwards I'm like a mild Buzz yes yeah like it you don't like to get high before you go onstage hate it or make you too many things like you did great great though that was the only thing that I've learned from actually from other Comics doing a not like all the time

and saying like I brought Jeff teh with me and he gets high as fuck is that he after a while that Panic thing just dissipates and then he's in the pocket right like in the zone yes high up there I can see that being fun too yeah but I don't know I have I prefer after show you know it's dangerous for me the first weekend after sober October because my body is clean yeah super and the fucking weed hits you so hard so you're on stage going okay what am I even talking about yeah it's gonna it's gonna wreck you again November 1st yeah I'm going to be in Europe for that or I'm going to really yeah we're going to be Denmark I'll be in London that day and the next day I go to Dublin Dublin they're gonna get you fucked up yeah I know are you gonna bombs hey come on come on we're doing it that right or we start word I mean there's no vodka on that table right there this whiskey I'm not gonna be one of the ring the bell now he's not gonna do it yeah this is

let's not everybody can be a seal yeah okay some people ring the bell re it just looks prettier best about our you want to ring the bell so wait why do you want to continue this what do you care why do you care if I can't like the struggle the same reason why I went back to his phone he wants to see if he could handle the cell phone you know you handle the month right can handle this on to sobriety I can handle it but I won't enjoy it as much going to Yankees games and pardon me kept thinking like oh I won't drink but I'm able to do an edible or something it's not the worst and then we hold your breath to almost black out and then catch your breath again they keep doing this through the whole game I make an interesting dilemma nothing or just green light people Molly and you and then yeah and then it's not you didn't do it you don't want that shit that's where I green light people giving you acid suck right you've you've absolutely not that I'm a big drinker well you have ruined me accepting a drink from and forever forever forever coming up with drinks that's not great I got I would get scared leading my drink around yeah like a girl

like a lot of girls dude yeah yeah a lot of girls men when they go to bars they get scared taking a drink from a man and they sure yeah they should how many people do you know that have been drugged and I know how both birth you know a couple yeah I know I know a bunch of girls I know at least three or four girls that have like said something happened I got to get out of here and they tell their friends and then creepy guys like like predators are moving close like hey she's fine yeah there's the guy right now dad I knew that whiskey tasted weird you like to do a shot was it in a shotgun and shot yeah are you tasting I guess I did taste it and you know what's so funny I walked in and re was he looked like dr. Jekyll like he was doing something I already doing and he was like I'm making shots I went okay just my back to you think he was like 2 shots of scotch I have the I have me to getting Molly on my phone like a movie I hate he put it on Instagram I'm him Molly and Me he's described I keep like forgetting about and then I keep thinking I know you're a fucking psycho and then I thought I can I try to put myself in like

in the mind frame of how upset I would be well what would you have done if Bert had a stroke okay good question you got to bury the footage you can't have that footage of thing so yeah you got to get in his phone you got to get the whatevers big record how do you know what is password is got to figure it out stick it up his face and that face idea yeah pull that up half of its going to be limp why don't you wipe the foam away are you trying to keep our face off wake it up man yeah waking up I need I need your help thank you and you're like hey delete delete delete yeah I got everything out of there now you feel terrible man I feel terrible yeah for sure for sure well I don't know how to talk about that though because I never happen so we're picking the now which so you have a new appreciation of your family friends new life but you do realize that last year was kind of like the idea of Being Sober part of it was for you last year he roll two years ago two years ago well two years ago was the weight loss thing no no that's when we started others right two years ago we are

Whispers holy shit yeah there's goes your origin of this challenge Burke can you not drink yeah right but I was a step that was for you though right hundred percent right by the way I didn't think I didn't think I'd be able to do it and I will say that at the time I was drinking so fucking much and I didn't I was unaware of how much I was drinking so yeah and when you guys said that in here I went I kind of like woke me up and I was like fuck I really am drinking Tito's by myself at night I just like to go to bed and it was a great way to cut my drinking because you guys made it camaraderie ask and so I didn't feel like all eyes were on me and I did it and it did change the way I drink it a hundred percent changes when I drink that last year strap that's going to when it shows you how much you sleep it's really sobering because you can't lie yeah like you look at it go for hours and 30 minutes ago right like is it sent me the sent me a notification that like like you should should try to get this like it was late and I'm watching TV and it's like oh sleep a bit where's mine I gotta put it

out there go grab it by the pool table Yeah Yeah Yeah set it up what but yeah and then last year was last year was more about the competition yes sobriety was like a side thought last year got crazy it's too intense to he decided to not do that this year we got I can't yeah well it's just the competition was to absorbing too much time and it's just fuck it was hard it was a lot it was really hard it was so hard you need drive to make you work out huh well that's one way of doing it but I don't think that would hey be careful yeah don't just stab you so no do it up here by the blue shirt goodbye your neck hold on your chin take your wrist and make your wrists you're gonna see if you're trying to be a grandma Molly but also going like fuck this is gonna be a great podcast God damn it you're gonna tell ya I don't know what I'm gonna do is put down your I put it by your I have you gone back and listen to it it kind of made me upset really

yeah exactly I see I can see me panicking

hmm like I can see me going like all I said was fuck are you why would you do that like I'm on blood pressure medicine like we know a guy who had a stroke because he took Viagra right and it counteracted with this thing and now he can't use his left arm right so I'm just sitting there going one of my biggest fears when that doctor told me I needed to lose weight was what if I have a stroke and then I just can't work out and be active like what if it was that taken away from me I can't throw the ball with the girls I can't go bike riding because the left side of my body doesn't work that and and I am despite what anyone thinks I'm active and I like working out I like being outside I like running and that's what sketch was scared the shit out of me and that's why I started losing weight I got to be honest with you thank God I lost that weight and when he did that because if he had done that when I was 258 that could have been it be done and I'd gone to hot spin for a whole month and and been really healthy for a whole month I was like I literally in the podcast I go okay my EKG was fine

my I'm on bumbler to baby aspirin today that's going to help I was like okay and I was going through the checklist to try to calm myself down but thank God I lost that wakes I don't know what would have happened if I hadn't lost that weight and get Molly me yeah yeah let me show you how to do that are it's gonna take you a second to figure out you got its a clip that the other side of it just doing some yeah Tom I get it okay yeah yeah that's not cool are you don't do that again yeah okay alright now we know that we know but he was at angry that you lost all this weight for the weight loss challenge and then you got really healthy during sober October but then you got bigger than ever

and that shit what's man that's it pop it up and I couldn't pop it over I had a hard time pop it open too hey bro I broke it when I will do this after the podcast re yeah there you go there you go wow Jesus Christ it's sorry sorry if anybody identifies that word outside to this is like that so put your wrist through it put it on your left wrist or right wrist over the top like a watch and then clamp it down I go push that thing over the top lock it in place snap it snap it down

and then you had it you had it the right way damn it there it is this is this is a riveting podcast so bad why is it difficult or fine we're fine I'm fine that's going to show you a lot I started wearing mine quite a long time ago so I wear mine a couple of months ago so you guys you guys haul one out of sober October that's what I'm here sure would be lovely one out that's what you sound like that your look I'm trying to get you guys to quit sounds like you're about to ring the bell I couldn't make it over four years I was thinking about going sober Forever After October actually oh really until the special definitely wouldn't ya know vembur your shirt on forever to how about that nope keep your shirt on so you gonna get jacked what if you get in really good shape when your reel me in the Briar Patch what if you did like we're gonna know so but if you gonna take your shirt off yeah but it won't look good I don't give a shit but if you take your shirt off on stage and you have a six-pack people can get angry with you they're not

I think it's funny okay the reason why it's funny because you're overweight and your party guy you take your shirt off everybody's laughing no I don't think I think I take my shirt off and I don't think people look at my body throughout the rest of my set I'm not making jokes like look at look at these titties you know I'm just up there doing stand-up rapidly looking at yeah yeah yeah they look at me yeah I'm on stage the things you take your shirt off yeah I like taking my shirt off I understand but if you but if you got skinny would you still take your shirt off that's what I'm saying yeah I like taking my shuttle six-pack know if you had a six-pack you couldn't do it I did I'll do whatever the fuck I want no way over to Jax's no was angry at you and he's taken out on us give me that thing again you know what the fuck you're doing I don't know he's angry you know what if you had a six-pack you can't take your shirt off well you have a great body yeah you can but first I know but it was that one really a thing we're caring about only talking about like starts getting to Six Pack level yeah he does it's not going to happen why can't you do it

what you're going to get a six-pack know why not because I've never had a six-pack of my entire life even when I was in high school so I'm that's not a concern of mine of getting a six-pack now's your big chance yeah I could do that but I think if you stick to the sobriety and working out you're going to be sitting up on your own and no time you know so all right should we wait what's so what are we gonna do are you gonna back last year for a little bit you want to admit thrust I would get one mid thrust yeah the rest Bonin okay it's on right now that's how it's going okay so put your wrist through that

there you go

now push that side over the top and clamp it down so it doubles up over here like that that's Aunt bam I got download the app bro okay yeah oh yeah you got a fucking phone you can actually do I gotta find a real phone dude it's wonderful having access to Uber yeah wolf God it's great yeah you can text people without somebody getting a fucking hernia yeah yeah I mean those the t-nut depart still upset at you looking I'm not upset it's red in the face no he's lost his memory of how great a time it was

he's thinking about having a six pack more than I can take your shirt off if you got rugs super jacked and ripped and look good on stage well that should be like that would but I'd recommend you wearing a clown suit yeah if you're if you're super ripped its know let's let's yeah you can't do that now can do it for you know does the Jamar does that who watch my neighbors oh really yeah he's jacked yeah super Jack yeah super jacked Pearl Pearl did rose petal shirtless and yeah that was really funny yes of suit in a gold chain on it was ripped tomorrow so he's on a stage does he have go up with like chicken or something for you even as you talking Chappelle got jacked and was wearing tank tops and I think yeah I think yeah I looked I don't think it stopped anything it's even better no capture different animal that shirtless though he got he got yoked like the whole thing back in the day was if you have muscles you can't be a comedian right what Joe let's go got muscles and everyone's like oh he's no longer funny right and now you looking almost all the comedians are like workout workout and

yeah when I was starting out I used to wear big baggy shirts you still good yeah but really baggy like ridiculously baggy now I just wear things that are loose yeah but you're trying to make it not a distraction right yeah yeah I'm worn tight things on stage before it's very distracting to me even yeah that's the thing is if it's in your own yeah it's my own head yeah if it wasn't in my own head it wouldn't matter I'm sure people don't care it's like that's half of the things whether or not you're comfortable on stage if you're uncomfortable doesn't matter what you look like you could smell I think like ultimately he's the most comfortable being like he's himself shirtless shirtless yeah you don't even think about it yeah after its off no he's yeah filmed I filmed them at The Comedy Store the last time we did a show together I couldn't get my phone out quick enough you know shirt on before he even hit the mic yeah that's how it's about taking it off but you don't take it off in the or or is different I've short sets you don't really do a short sides it's like it's like it's 15 minutes in the main room we took it off yeah main rooms different I feel like the main room they've come and pay the ticket to see a show the ORS like people come in and out no

who the fuck you are yet the main room it's like there's only great coming from Canada presentation by bin the main to presentation by yeah I mean it's like it's like it is like almost like a theatrical feel to be on the show there's also likes which seals swimming with weights when I don't want to assure all I'm very uncomfortable and so I can find out what I can find out what materials working better easier okay that makes sense remember the first time you did it yep when was the first time it was in Columbus I ripped it off I used to rip it off I just got off stage rip it off and everyone cheering I've just put it back on and when time comes I ripped it off and I forgot about it we started talking about something and then I was like oh should I put my shirt on and this one goes keep it off and I was like my whole life my whole hour was probably like nine years ago I did my whole hours shirtless how long ago there's a party nine years ago that wow yeah it was before it was before you doing it all the time though and then and then I started doing it and I start doing it you know on the road and it was just I don't know just made me really comfortable I sweat when I was shirt off

sweating sea swept it's in it's annoying and I don't need it doesn't happen when I take my shirt off and I'll sweat it all I see that with you a lot of times when you just like standing still yes well that's yeah from the from exertion you know yeah like just talked and stuff yeah are you took your shirt off on stage you liked it I do like it yeah I like having it off when I'm walking around spreading shiftless you're always like in the Sun for sure feels great and it hits her skin all the time maybe we'll do a benefit where every will raise them and everyone do shirtlessness and up this happy and I'll wear a suit and I'll host ha ha ha wait so what are we settling on for this month what are we doing heroin heroin that we're doing heroin everybody first time

I'm in what are we doing

well what we decided over the phone is one one edition is we have to read 500 pages and by read 500 pages I think we need read we don't mean audiobook redirect but I thought we're just doing these classes no we're doing the reading to that's great we should yeah the reading to yeah we read more so ten classes of something it can be hot yoga it could be Jiu-Jitsu it can be spin Hot spin some classes Sam pop dance about their stance by the way how great would have hit boss dance been now that you saw the video we should have done that ha ha ha ha ha but your videos is a great day I knew what you were gonna do you gonna take your clothes off that hip hop dance video was great I also dance the dancing was okay it made me cry it was so good I'm so shocked that looks this good was so angry I got so upset why are you upset that people complimented them

it's great America's Got Talent reached out to meet Jesus Christ do you think it's really bro do they go do you consider yourself more of a comedian or a dancer ha ha ha I was like you know I have a Google search engine on your they want to bother with that damn monster so they reach out on Facebook one in ston they emailed me on my website they probably have a million hyenas out there rummaging the nation trying to find people with any kind of talent so they can keep that monster alive yeah wait the other thing is we didn't we agree that within these classes they don't necessarily have to be a physical strain it's like a class of anything that's some class this new like better yourself caught him and I were talking about taking tactical gun lessons that'd be great so that but I'm saying that's a lot of work out but it's still like a class and class you'll be better off with it than without them sword fighting this year it's much more about bettering ourselves one of the things that I think we agree to in your wife actually reached out to me about their apparently her and Leanna going to get together and do like a pod are doing a podcast

so over October October for the month yeah because last year was insane yes I gave your wife good ammunition and this episode and the wives fucking hey there's two right-minded not well she didn't like seeing that part of me either yeah it's in like it yeah my toe she was like your body looks better but fucking so boring yeah well shit Lee Anne it's the livid when she found out that I got roof roofied because of so rocktober yeah she's was she was so she'll never speak to our again justifiably what me yeah yeah yeah Ari you're the one she'll never speak to our again no or door he's never allowed in our house it's so bad II and that's what was sucks is I had to take care of both of them look how to take care of re and take care of Lee Anne all right this is great whoa just like you bro I think she's great this has been a great moms were kids with kids that's cool I like how you look at talking wonderful you see that right side things even if people hate you it's awesome always has

back I think she's great at this is great and her pain temporary anger at me is not going to make me stop liking her so much oh that's oh wait wait before I forget yeah so within the ten classes yeah you can't do more than how many of one class 3 right yeah you can do one class three times you can technically do if you're my Classics three times why does that matter so you can mix it up a little bit you just do one thing over and over again yeah but it's to spin class every day and be done with it as long as you can do something I mean but like if you're doing Jiu-Jitsu like say if you decide to do Jujitsu you learn it there's nothing wrong with doing six of them like that's how you get better or it because if you do decide to do it you get into it they're going to have to do more than one a week to easy to do the same shit and not challenge yourself hmm says you yeah interesting how you just making the rules up well it seems too easy to like not challenged about that does that make sense to you the only bills like this isn't with like dogs against our will kind of like he's slipping a drug to us doesn't it like I think that if we I think I should be a

one other element to it is that you because there's always always been like this physical element to the whole month you should do something on your own that you don't talk about till it's over that you're doing a challenge yourself like The Crucible and it to like you do not and it's not yeah like you for instance I'm not following like for instance you like you like to run the Hills right yeah so let's say let's just say you go I run it once a week I run it every Sunday or something right so for the month you challenge yourself on your own to do it twice a week and at the November 1st you like I took these classes I read these books and I ran my Hills twice a week or like you know you go I wanted to you know do a hundred push-ups a day what it however you want to do it that way there's a that way there's like some other physical element of you know Wellness throughout the month okay some you challenge yourself to yeah but I'm like I think I can do this I think we're doing coming back with a good heart basically yeah can't let you give up something they do decide

right so you can't actually have four things to do if you can only do three more no more than three of each one so there has to be for individual things you're doing that's right yeah

yeah I mean for thanks for things total right can you could do write 3 as we do yoga you could do spend you could do Jujitsu you could do kickboxing you could do whatever but yeah CrossFit so you got to do four separate thing tactical we've done it's going to do the technical gun training yet have a gun and I'm gonna put bullets in it what's really don't say that now say I'm fucking awesome shot I just not applicable my dress is yeah yeah I like this I like the idea of mixing it up and I also like the idea that we're not going to go crazy this is like something see the thing about last year is like you killed when it's most open-ended yeah I mean I have 1100 points one day when you do an 80% of your max heart rate for a minute you get one point I had Eleven Hundred points that was a nuts day 1100 finish at 11,000 that John Wick fucking Bath House scene I watched that scene 50 times in a row and I just wanted to kill everybody yeah wouldn't stop

no no but I also good felt like I was yeah exactly and physically breaking down throughout the month yeah but I also was getting really into it yeah that's the thing it actually it feels like became ill the soreness you would feel drained but you would feel the cloud and your mind clear right yeah because we you and I talked about the chatter yeah internal chatter gone stresses stresses like Roy yeah I didn't have nothing really bother can oh nothing bothered me didn't work out like three hours I remember seeing my wife back I'm seeing my wife or you could get this in a pill with this is this feeling of not giving a fuck like really not giving a fuck because generally I don't give a fuck about things but man when I'm doing cardio for five hours a day you don't give a fuck yeah I really don't give a fuck you don't get bothered by things by anything and the the stresses of life just really start to build and lose any weight though yeah you don't have any way to lose but I wasn't I thought I was gonna get I am obese I thought I was gonna get

at least some weight loss because of it I didn't lose a fucking pants a lot but what's wrong with your body fat is gonna be like what 7% it's probably around 10 but somewhere around 10 inches that's just cutting water to then that's how you get rekt I was drinking all the water but I was eating everything to but I think I might have even gained a pound or two I thought I would muscle not going to like I was like watching what I ate as the week you know as the month started and then when it when I saw how competitive it was going and like how crazy we started be like six and seven days of working out yeah it was anything in sight and I would and I was never full never that was eating boxes of cookies really yeah in between workouts yeah just kept eating I made a giant box of vanilla wafers ate the whole box just shoved him down my fat hole Yeah drank soda like regular soda which I never drank yeah now I always drink diet coke by November was because I was eating like that but still working out and then I just kept it in like that

yeah stop working out I think what happened to me yeah you got shredded for a while dude yeah they told me is that bottom yeah I love that body for a little bit you're not work yet worthy of the nice life in the dick root show they told me they're like every time somebody blows out because we had remember they had the point thing at my gym every time everyone like like the next month there's such a dip and where they're like they're like and then you broke that record for like the highest total and then the biggest dip ever and I was like fuck this I was so over it in November how long did you guys keep using the my zones thing I don't put he wants just to see what it was yeah like to end and I fucking brought back like anxiety yeah makes you anxious I used it for a while and then I would not use the no take it again and then recently I lost it and they were like oh you know find it I don't want to find it yeah like I don't want to and then I did find it and I was like I'm not putting it on this on my when I moved and I was like No No don't touch it you touch it but throw it away yes it's like a fucking like the thing they found the

system they brought it back on more of a report though yes you know it's this is giving you heart rate variability Talent it's also telling you how much you've recovered which I think is very important yeah it's telling you like like if you do a hard workout the next day you feel like shit it's letting you know hey your body's not recovered like it's actually giving you accurate data because it's your auntie wear it all the time great tell you the thing I don't understand the thing but you go to the website go to the website to explain everything but it's pretty simple formula for drive hours and 42 minutes finally part is Big that we only spent five out of eight hours sleep yeah it really wakes you up man I don't know what I did last night so think I got like six hours last night but the thing about it is like it's undeniable this is not like guesswork so your six point eight hours sleep last night does it tell you what you get when you have sex is it like a spike well the way I fuck bro it thinks I'm working out I'm saying hey hey what is it what was your activity Joe did you work out today no today I have not I'm working out of its past

they are day strain under the stream coach who I'm sixty seventy four percent recovered oh well that's good hey go six yeah I got six hours and 39 minutes of sleep which is pretty pretty decent that's pretty good I never I never sleep like I struggle with sleep you know yeah and last night I got eight and a half hours oh dude that's a great unbelievable yeah if you can do the I had a guy dr. Matthew Walker who really changed my opinion that was the Sleep guy that guy it ain't what I love is it was fascinating from the jump like he's started right away he acts he's excellent and he's a really great speaker to he's a professor here yes me in LA to right um I don't think he's La where is dr. Matthew Walker professor at originally from Australia his wonderful hair in the first five minutes the the importance that he liked the way he breaks down how important it directly directly the way he breaks down how important is like you

hooks you yeah I mean because he's just like it's the basically the most important thing the most important thing yeah I mean and as far as like people who regularly get four hours or less like how many of them get Alzheimer's over the fucking roof through the really yeah oh my God through the roof whatever it's a the charts it's off the charts the numbers of people that get Alzheimer's that also have very low sleep there's a definite correlation it's bad Burke come on bro we're gonna get you healthy this month I'm gonna sleep more yeah sleep more well that is one thing that that straps will let you know because it'll hold you accountable when you look at the app and it says hey you slept for four hours last night fuckface you're gonna go oh she's yours really knows you do you know how my brain talks to me I guess do you take sleep aids because that's also bad like yeah you shouldn't take that all kinds of stuff do you what do you got all the time I just on a rotation like sometime last night it was it was nothing

I've done CBD oil I've done with EBD melatonin levels I like the mail that's all natural right now yeah yeah yeah so I've done that that helps Ambien I've done that I don't like ambient I don't like I don't like it I've done Xanax that sandbar and really that I am drinking right Ambien and weed yeah booze weed the men Ambien mixed together you don't know what the fuck you're saying you're still here yeah that's that's a really wild I think it's a disassociative is it whatever it is you start spewing Birds Annex Xanax is guys have no idea how I have to deal with this my bus drivers black and some guy comes up and he goes dude I love you racism my bus drivers like what the fuck am I oh my god I've lost all our fans they're not my family because they think is my friends I've lost a lot of fans what are you serious what because I post anything with a black person

it on Instagram and they start typing the n-word and then oh my God people have fun yeah fucking Tom's fans and then they fought in my like new people find me through Netflix and then they're like I don't even be a part of this wow so it sucks why are you like that because of your mom's house it's because of I don't know it's because of a bunch of different things but regardless the joke that I'm the most racist comedian the world it's a joke I get it top 1000 there's nothing you can do about it you can't stop it yeah once the internet decide something it happens but it just stinks I block them I block by block a lot of people who say that stuff yeah it's like I'm like I like there was they make some memes that are really like fucking disgust I like those 4chan Thai people right and you just do like and and people don't know so people don't I have fans that don't know about you guys but just finding from Netflix and don't know about our friendship I have a hard time believing that now for sure I would have Bert Bert I was and I were in Madison the same time and I was like to be funny I'll just like his show started before mine and I was like I'll just go with a broom and like sweep up and see who

was nuts and like 12 people were like oh hey no one else like my guess is sweeping no no I told you no come Molly's for your age my buddy Ari shaffir it's a huge welcome all of our e and say I mean it's Netflix such a broad it's such a broad place you put out a special on Netflix and you know you can't like I can say Joe Rogan everyone have a joke you heard the other night yeah it's about you and I say Joe Rogan and everyone lose your mind because you are fucking Global but you get specifics like I mean I think my fans know Tom I think we share a lot of fans but I think that's because of our podcast to but yeah it's like the people won't know re which is bizarre to me because I assumed everyone found me through this are you slipping you need us look at phone need black more active on social media gotta live your life but yeah still super anti social media I'm trying it now the smartphone China for the month but yeah just going to post you're going to actually just a lot of though the

king of like oh how could like just here in a moment with people and you're thinking like what can I do how can I post office it was a good thing yourself in a moment good things about Twitter what you can post pictures of your hog right yeah you can list Twitter is got porn on it they don't care yeah which is kind of crazy it is kind of crazy especially because they end up being like this person wrote something not nice right and the glare you show your hog and wrassle there's videos I'll be scrolling through my feet and I see a video someone taken in the ass wow all righty but if you dead name someone it's over the ban you for life if you call Caitlyn Jenner Bruce you're done yeah forever to see the rose how many times you congratulated herself for being brave fuck off she congratulated herself twice and Joel I can coax I think it goes to show you trans people out there that if I can do this you can do anything like doing what I come out of the closet and Wyoming and not get know get involved yeah I'm talking about massive amount of Praise everybody forgets what a dummy she

us yeah as dumb dude yeah yeah but don't do it becomes a celebrated woman amazing great hook yeah I mean it's like when they when they interviewer that's when you realize I oh wait a minute like you're you're not very moron yeah it's not oh yeah yeah you're just famous yeah you know that's it but the the thing is there's no depth to any of it and then everybody conveniently forgot that she just plowed into some lady and forced her into traffic and killed her yeah wasn't paying attention behind the wheel when I got this call Swept Away swept away I don't know how got swept away with the whole being of a brave dick because she's trans so amazing you can tweet something a little racist like Roseanne Barr and they ruin your career but you can kill someone and everyone's like oh whatever yeah she was also a trump supporter that was part it's great compounded and the racist by the way what she tweeted was not racist that lady looks like the lady

I'm the Planet of the Apes and she did not know that that lady was African-American she's a very small percentage African she looks she looks very good I don't Jewish language is exactly what Roseanne well if you ever see the images of her side by side ha ha ha ha do this by saying you don't look like a gay bear you know you heard a bear there's so many guys were gay who are bears with like nipple straps and fucking they look just like you you put them right next to you that's not a bad thing yeah you look like a hot sexy Gabe are power bear power now a muffin top I'm a muscle bear your top yeah whoa I guess you're out there you have to be a real Brave bear to take it in the butt right Mmm Yeah that's not something you get ya feet up in the air with your feet up in the air and your asshole spread out and just pulling it apart that's a brave bear is my favorite type of like message to get is like them to what make you feel like what a woman must feel like all the time is a message where a guys like

Sawyer Special hilari Love what you're doing love yourself can't wait to see it on a tour and you're pretty cute you like okay all right that's nothing you see know but that's like that is the small things like yeah that's like you know his will he ever shown you her fucking DM's know she's so dicks all dicks dicks and guys want to jerk off on her feet they want her to jerk them off of their feet like what there's something about real creeps all were in a feat their defeat me to have as many many messages for you she's a she's a fitness influencer and she just got arrested she's going to do five years in jail she sent to she had 269 different or 369 different Instagram accounts that she was using to harass people well threaten them say she's going to cut them up what yeah this one crazy Wishy some crazy bitch

from like a popular good State she's from Florida of course she's from Florida town so she she did she also staged a fake kidnapping of her 12 year old daughter Jesus yeah she's a real piece of shit but if we do you think that was kind of following she has but he's 369 to harass counts just to fuck with people and that's what allowed the fucking Vibe online that's my favorite by the way it's like it's not harassment but there's been some celebrities that have been caught creating accounts to defend themselves oh yeah I'm coming so I knew it celebrity happen in sports I knew a celebrity I think like Durant did that was like he called out he got really good lately sweet again what do you know I had a friend who was a celebrity and was very vocal on Twitter going at

all but they had a couple burner accounts where they'd like people up and fucking get into it with other people in there and I when I heard of that I went that is such sociopathic Behavior I would never have thought of doing that right like I like I was just like what like it was so beyond me that that would happen what is a sickness right because you're trying to pretend there's other people that are supporting you but that's except it's so fucking lame so sick just give us a name that their name rhymes with could you describe them is it is it Ray Moore you have no names for me no names on the podcast that's all pocket will definitely tell you if this was nine years ago we would have said it on the air Harry we had buried I felt that bucket ice ring that Bell we just get this over with let's go something all right Schumer

that's not how it works going to slide it you die by the way take it off and slide it on that is the greatest technology technological Advance I've ever seen because we're trying to hate is taking my watch off yeah and the fact that the battery goes on the watching charges at 90 minutes for five days is a fucking game changer it's great it's great it's the thing that it's me that means the best or it means the most is the sleep that it monitors your sleep so maybe he deep sleep let's see let's see who can that'll that that's how we win the belt who sleeps the most this month mostly smoked salmon with that that's how very good fun challenge who sleeps the most here out of all of us probably point in time probably already have all right he's got nothing that me what you got looks like a good night for you are

if I can get a time good but I'll sleep until someone was like 10 I like now I'll just go back to sleep nice we didn't have it kids he doesn't have yeah that's nice and he doesn't get up he's got money yeah yeah I don't have to go anywhere to earn anything yeah it was way later I was like yeah that's what's it like having no responsibilities in life you're one of my favorite people that is like taken success and like really done it in a great way like you really bought Freedom whereas a lot of people buy a lot of shit you even own a fucking car yeah no reason in the world of the mark So what I have five cars are there you know if you got to drive somebody get a Zipcar I've never lived in New neither of you have ever lived in New York you to home while she got a tent I lived in New Rochelle and I lived in New Rochelle because I can't afford to stop me now but I couldn't afford to live in Manhattan I couldn't afford a parking spot because I did Road all you had to have a oh yeah I was a road warrior man all my gigs were on the road

didn't have anybody from there yes that's what I picked up a tail at the Laugh Factory and I was like going to store if you want to ride it was parked right across the street goes yeah all right and I was like hold on the move some stuff it was so much fucking shit in my car and he was like Road car huh and I'm like nah I'm just super messy around and just make a grocery guy grows person you know what I started Living that way when I was thinking moving to New York and Tom was like fuck I wish I could move to New York yeah and I was like why don't you mean like I got a wife I don't know I can't just move yeah you could just move yeah and then from then on I was like I should do shit to make my married friends jealous I should live away though they're like fuck otherwise you're not even doing anything no you do do a lot of cool shit yeah I'll give you that you do you mean I do a lot of cool sure you like Chelsea Handler yeah you're an activist yeah I'm an actress first and you also believe Women are Smarter they're smarter and better I thought you two would get along so fucking good you should make sure I'll see y'all would check well together I bet

hard yeah I've always got along with her I think it was very much what I think she's hot was that before or after Molly

both listen I'm sorry I - I won't ever do is you again it's once in done for me for anybody we're going to those other people no definitely definitely thought about it before that me he said he's like almost definitely will toast - I would have if it was like if we were doing this pack as yesterday before October started then for sure yeah hmm interesting probably just ask her though what do you think that would be a different backlash though you could just ask me and I would do it with yeah that's sort of thing to me and then I would have said hey Ari now's a bad time but I would like to do that with you we'll do it later let me talk to my cardiologist first we'll do it later we'll go we should do a skit on November whatever it is when we come back in yeah we're not going to be able to do a real return podcast I'm going to much yeah we did mushrooms together one of the last podcast we did a little bit yeah we did do mushrooms yeah when Thompson in Europe when we get back to 15th I get back I'm there too oh I leave the 14th I'm not back in La till the 18th damn when you come back the 10th 11th 12th 13th fret before go to Chicago 10th 11th 12th of November yeah

huh what are we going to do we got to have to we have to have a wrap-up show if I mean I would do it I just I really liked because I had classes 500 pages of reading made them see how to read whatever book book or any book write any book you want to book any book fiction nonfiction yeah and tell us what you're reading and then like if we're like looking for a book we can like yeah read that one too what are you guys gonna start in on there's a book about the beginning of 4chan and to Chan is a to Chan yeah a lot a lot I bet there's all those things I bet by the way I still never found a contact at Children's Hospital to give that money to

I've had like 10 grand sitting you realize how unfunny this podcast can be for me you realize that this is like it's the fucking chitra comic come on take your shirt off maybe you'll feel better it's like a shot there's a whole library of books out there too if you guys want to so many people bring but oh really oh yeah my green rooms there's probably a hundred want to do I want to try some more red what classic literature I feel kind of like Steinbeck kind of thing yes I stuff that I'm like you know I haven't read any of that like I'm going to die I'm going to jump into something I don't know yeah yeah that's that's a good point my well I definitely want to read The Madness of the crowds new Douglas Murray book supposed to be excellent It's All About outrage and that's cool yeah see I Douglas Murray's been on my podcast before he was one of the first guys that I ever had on that was like immediately demonetized oh really yeah and he did a podcast with with Sam Harris and

someone put it on their playlist on their Channel and they got cited for Community standards and made a playlist but not one in there yeah and so I asked this lady at YouTube she was it's hate speech I go it's hate speech I go the fact that you just said that you're talking about to public intellectuals one of us the neuroscientist the other ones a gay man from Europe who is a public intellectual and you just said it's hate speech is because he's written about the negative aspects of immigration into Europe and he wrote a book called The Strange death of Europe there's someone is called Islam and the strange to slow death or strange death of Europe so they do monetize them so they do but not just that they cited this person it was Community standards and then the woman at YouTube that I was speaking to at a fucking party I was just at a party with and my friend of mine who used to be a big executive at Google just happen to be there she brought me to this party and this lady just had to be there that worked at YouTube and I asked her about it

just flippantly said it's hate speech I'm going to you don't know well you didn't listen that podcast yeah the fact that you just say I know that if it was it's the end-all of any conversation you just say that he's done talking that's what she said and she was trying to do that when she was talking to and I wasn't let her go and my wife was squeezing my leg it was supposed to be super uncomfortable conversation but it makes you realize how arrogant some of these people are that are in these positions of power yeah that are in control social media and now they're getting a lot of blow back so they've softened up their tone sure but there's still like Steven Crowder just had some peace that he did about how much there's Shadow Banning with his YouTube account like he's one of those guys prove me wrong like like Hitler you know Hitler was really smart prove me wrong yeah you know he he takes like like there's only two genders prove me wrong and he'll sit down with people these table and have these conversations and film them and you know most people are not prepared or an emotional emotional and he stays calm and that gets me more

freaked out but it's kind of entertaining come so anyway someone was looking for one of those someone's looking they so they Googled Steven Crowder prove me wrong they couldn't find anything in the first seventy fucking videos that were recommended by YouTube to they've just like that's literally his video Steven Crowder prove me wrong I got message that I'm Shadow band on Instagram they like type in your name I think more than ever that Instagram just has a really shitty search engine okay no I talked to Instagram star about this they're upset that we are making money off Instagram without using their promotion they want you to use their promotion so the fact that we're selling merch through Instagram for selling tickets to Instagram and they're not getting a condiment with how is this fucking person who's an Instagram influencer know this job that's all they do for their life they don't know that okay I did it but they're not inside the inner workings of the company and talk to you know the right there algorithms I bet they don't

at it I just have a conversation the more that I look into this the more I think they have a really shitty search engine but it's also possible that someone is preventing certain people from getting found like Andrew Schultz was the first person to point it out and if you just type in Andrew Shoals and tried to find his name you all you can find is all these other accounts why is he decides you know this is a lot of crazy shit but he's a comic yeah if you're a comedy say crazy shit and someone decides it's offensive and they say hey we're going to put our employer on this Shadow banned list yeah that's crazy but dude it's real it's just their up Shadow Banning is real there's this all project Veritas is this guy James O'Keefe that's done this undercover investigation he had people talk to Twitter people and Instagram people and the people that work there when they're out of bar when they're out they explained they were explaining to some girl how your Shadow ban someone how you stop conservative voices so I had my patreon was like Shadow band right away and I was like that's pretty quick

and I emailed them in a calm Manner and I was like hey what's going on I don't show up in search engines as you let me look at you guys all right well you've been I see it you've been flagged as having pornography I'm looking you know you just started when there's almost nothing on there it's for sure wrong so I'll take that flag off and now you show up so I'm wondering if some of it's just like a bureaucratic like yeah labels you or an asshole fan right because a lot of them just say can Target you right they could Target you and there's no way to say hey this was wrong can you take that off me yeah hey Ari you know spikes people's drinks he's that kind of guy yeah yeah yeah yeah what's weird about it is it's a so ideologically one-sided like the people are everyone on the left is kind of free to post whatever the fuck they want and people on the right it's interesting for sure because like yeah even if you don't if you're not conservative you should I mean you should want some type of balance to exist but it's the whole idea the justification here what is going on the other side the justification is all that trumps a terrible president and that

the election was terribly you know infuriating and there was a Google executive that was talking about it recently there was this really weird interview with they were talking about how deeply upset everyone was at the results of the election I'm sure they've decided to take steps to try to prevent this their platform from being used for a similar similar result in the future this is a crazy time right now fucking right now this week is nuts man yeah because with past few days yeah what do you think about all this impeachment shit and the Ukraine shit I mean the the funny thing is it's almost like a perfect highlight of everybody being who they are you know like him going like is the perfect phone call it's like such a trump line and then he's definitely you know talking to another president about like he's denying but he did right but then you know there's people who obviously stand like stand saying it's not you know the conversation was about investigations but you know he's always been somebody you got I think separate

from politics this is guy who's new to politics essentially right right yes I always been a guy who bent the rules like he's a rule breaker he doesn't fight you know he's always been someone who's like that she doesn't apply to me make it happen right and I think that you know what I don't know how far it's going to go but I think the door is open now to like they're really they're really going to investigate that call then there was a report that maybe the Australian p.m. call had a similar thing where he asked him to invite you know to get involved and we haven't seen the readout of that so I don't know I mean I don't know it seems like we went from one we want to impeach for something's like right away to another one and it just makes me think like I don't even know but yeah it's hard it's hard to get like I think in the normal sense like if we had gone through a more stable last couple years as far as yeah news and stuff this would be groundbreaking holy shit but in the in the scope of what the last few years have been like it still feels like

yes Mother crazy I'm sure you're not telling me the whole story yeah I don't know either yeah yeah they're saying they're opening the investigation into it but we don't know what really that's going to mean yeah it's is the only land Peach him an things could get really ugly things to get crazy here supporters fuck yeah if you don't think it's our guy out if you just took their guy and just like we voted him in fair and square and you guys just removed him no way but they would he put on the someone today but while try to impeach this in the picture the picture stick no shit up a picture of the entire country that's mostly red States a couple of blue which was the result election that was trumped post yep yeah what do you think of that of the call the with the I didn't really listen to it did you listen to it you look at the transcript I read the transcript yeah I didn't I didn't read the transcript I'm going to wait till it gets real I like to look at these things like okay I'll look into this Zone okay is it feels a lot of it feels like sensationalize right and well

I remember Justin Martin Dale telling me the Stormy Daniels was going to take him down visit she's our Monica Lewinsky they wanted so bad yeah and want that nothing like a duck to water just water off has been shook it off yeah kept moving but he also I think he loves this shit you know I think he actually he like will complain about witch-hunt shit but I think he actually left my talked about the game it's a game for him you know I think I think he enjoys yeah but the the game is try to put a real stink on him where when 2020 comes around he can't win right that's the six things don't stick to him hmm he's really helping other people Hiwa who win the next election you think so you think so there's I don't think the Democrats have come up with someone that's they need someone like a no joke but like the rock something to be excited about it it's just the rock could win a hundred percent even if he would be a terrible president and I think he probably would be this seems like a really smart guy might actually be good if he dedicated himself to it based on what talk

them oh you know there are yeah oh yeah I was like based on his move oh it's not just that mean I've talked to him briefly but reading his stuff that he posts and listen to his his little Instagram videos he's a considerate interesting introspective guy just works hard buses ass but he's very nice he's a good guy you know and mean I don't know if that's enough to be president but I don't think anybody should be president I just don't ya once we're down to a popularity contest at least I think he would be a fair and Equitable person it might just go to straight to popularity contest so no more politicians can win well my going then if we are rushing but her - it before well Kanye if someone really decided someone really famous not just Trump but someone else decided like especially a famous comic decided to run for president he would be fucked because he's so easy to make fun of and all those fucking dolts don't know how to do it yeah and so he shits on them and all the people that never had like the thing about him is he's the first asshole

like openly and asshole and there's so many guys out there that are assholes that want to support another asshole yeah like finally one of us remember I remember there's a scene where Ted Cruz was giving some speech there was a guy with sunglasses on who is telling quit you never going to win you're never going to win Trump's going to be present and he's in his face and Ted Cruz is trying to talk to him and his bullshit politician way but this guy's like fuck you because he's an asshole all right yeah exactly and he wants to be able to do that to Ted Cruz and Ted Cruz didn't know what the fuck to do right and I was like oh he didn't know how to handle this right I've been heckled right right now Rez real problem is like fuck you like right back to your face yeah I think if a real like if Oprah ran I think she'd win you think if someone that's what we've entered into we're like now we don't want any with any expertise yeah we just want popular well I mean if someone like Obama ran he would fucking win but you have to that's our he's a unicorn like someone who's that articulate and charismatic you get like a Bill Clinton you get like a you know Obama

there are people that are that good at talking and also have a good record and also you know know how to fucking rila crowd up there's not a lot of those Joe Biden certainly isn't one of them he likes ice man walking dead and he also throws more notably slip like every time you'd like you can see that it's taken a while to put together you know I mean like when an older guy takes a minute to put something together you see old as fuck and he's not healthy and he looks tired yeah it is always tired you can't be tired to run for president and then you get that Pete booted you could do a good guy that guy can't even run his own fucking city they're all pissed at him you know it's the people in his own City there was a murderer cop murdered somebody and everybody was going crazy and like what are you doing you're not even here you're out there running for president yeah you can't you look youyou all your fucking time should be running your goddamn City and instead you're on TV everyday duties did you not pay attention to the fucking City there's no way you can it's one of the rare jobs you could it's fucking all

all encompassing a fraud you shop is someone else run but there are jobs where it requires so much energy to pursue and yet people pursue it while they have other jobs that they're being paid for with Pat taxpayer dollars that you should give up being a settler you're gonna answer them and leader while you're running proposed endure it percent and maybe you should have to fuckin earn it back like who knows maybe the new Senators better and maybe doesn't want to be president not with this that polling changes all the time but isn't like the top three still is it's like it's a mix of like Biden Warren Sanders right it's always like the three yep there's always those are the three that everybody wants to win I'm always fascinated by that person who like at this point six months in or something and they're at .01 or doing another fundraising campaign yeah you're not winning dude I wish I had a little bit of that my personality like where I was drives will do it I guess we'll have to wait a minute you do have that that's why you thought you're going to win sober October last year yeah that's true though you're still here

that's the thing is it somebody goes you're definitely not going to win then you go I'm gonna fuck yeah but I said I'd be a but I liked I liked I have I had fun with that I thought was fun I was I when I didn't think that when I started throwing up you started throwing up numbers I was like there's no way I'm catching Joe but I still making videos going Joe a double whatever you do and I was I just thought it was fun it was fun for sure was fun I didn't think it was fun I know you didn't very say it was horrible but it was still fun I was definitely fun coming to your place change in the ratings I feel like you would do anything yeah definitely the how do we how do we decide who we gonna get a champ this year I thought I thought I was gonna be a real problem because I know re really are he's psychotically competitive only when I challenge it yeah it's got a I got a entered in like wait that's a good question though is there a way to win or lose this year kind of feels like she's not really doesn't seem like there is no the problem with a way to win or lose is it's going to become a competition again and everyone's going to go fucking crazy yeah

and we're going to spend too much time doing it that's the real problem the real problem is time constraints like the funnest year for me wow that last year was fun but it was too crazy but the year before that was the yoga thing was easy in terms of it was hard to do put time in that was yeah time it was a fuck I thought yoga was the best one we've done because we all did it together Tom and I went to almost every class together and that's nice we all went together was fun yeah when we when we all showed up in Encino and pull this is that place where all laughing we had a good time Tom and Lamborghinis on Lambeth yeah what the fuck happened that was fun that was good time so these classes will be something yeah yeah firstly for still doing

yeah well you think you're not anyone would you rather not what do you want to do I bring that bail dude let's just be a drunk as fuck that's called Jeff in the bucket ice mean we're in them you know we killed in January could get super fucked up and then still have to do these challenges and yeah we could do that no one has beat hey there the Tactical we could do that drunk drunk hmm yeah well I wouldn't do that but I've done Juju to high many many many oh yeah it's great - yeah I think so slow is it good okay is it down for you and tell what's happening if you have a feel for things sort of like pool you're better at pool when you're high two things that we have a feel for things do you get high to do Arena shows now sure you do yeah wow just a token you get vast off really yep and you go up there fucking rip no shit I get anxiety Arena hear you say that yeah with chappal for sure those are big a show I've ever get size however because we got blasted I'm gonna happen

grab that 25,000 wow and you got high as fuck high as fuck we broke the attendance record for the Tacoma Dome we're both lit the next day there was some crazy about him is he really goes rock star style we fly in a private jet we land and you getting a tour bus not only male tour bus and he's on the phone with John Mayer the talked about the benefits of the tour bus versus car service pick there's a car service so the tour bus takes you to the hotel 10-minute Drive tour bus and then once we get there then we go into Dave's room and he's got all the fucking IV setup they got a doctor there or nurses there that are administering IVs to us they're giving you glutathione in your process relative process the alcohol 300 major discover I did I had been shot in the butt I'd come right up to my tour bus on my show and Kacie so I was like fucking shaking and it gave it to me and I felt amazing and then I was like and then I started

in jumpy to go to exact level to go down like a fucking the yellow yeah really reinvigorates you man vitamin drip vitamin trip ID IV not Molly my God I got sick and try to do things if you're already sick it's too late really yeah if you're if you're you're sick if you're like starting to feel like I'm a mighty good thing tomorrow I'll get to give a chance then you get the drip but the B12 shot even when I was sick gave me a nice because you little boost yeah I got three hours before the show you know it's hard to get that without the shot you know if you take the there's a liposomal B12 that you can take the put under your tongue and chair it's okay it's pretty good it's not as good a shot yeah the shots the way to go yeah the shots the way to go the real way to go is to make sure you always have a heavy nutrient levels in your body always always take multivitamins always you know make sure you get a balanced diet then you can party a little more and you got a little more leeway you can bounce back easier it's the people that eat like shit and then they don't you know

again his book we did a podcast for this we drink a lot of water and booze what

can't believe you dosed you are you still pissed about it I'm not pissed I mean I'm just it's it triggers things in my head yeah and it bums me out that it's a close friend mmm because it's like a lack of trust you know what weird is how like laughing he is about it I think it was I think part of that though is because he knows dude I think he's I think he knows you fucked up I think when I told him I said hey man this would have this contract with my medicine he was like I didn't think about that and I was like oh yeah yeah I think he does I think he knows what kind of shit are you on what was starting and emelina peen and this is all from almost got taken off it yeah and this last I went back to the doctor and he's like Publishers perfect yeah he was like you know the goal is to get you to a healthy weight and get you off your blood pressure but is there a Target weight or no to die like to be 205 25 you do when you got down to the 13 to 15 was the lightest I got after the weight challenge but

dehydrated right that was too high no no 215 was when we did the way they'll challenge I kept losing weight I got down to 1500 after yeah and so I would like to be if I get down to to 15 but the end of this month I would love to 205 I think I still I'm still not going to be in shape at 205 I'm still almost obese but no that's middle-middle wait what was it what was your obesity 24 before but I'll tell you just one six one two oh five is pretty lean dude well yeah I would like that yeah you get there yeah I think this month will be I'll be interested to see how much weight I lose because I'm already 265 I don't know what the most nope 305 nope here for 1200s you are can you wear yourself out to 32:37 yeah come on man fibroblasts out of scale right now it says 2 3 7 really probably not never look at this later in the to Diamond weighed myself since I got back off the tour that's great sex but yeah I'd like to look at down how much you weighed 233

really well yeah how often do you choose however that's what did we fail every fucking week everybody didn't you make some wacky deal where you kind of have to be on the road constantly nope I made a deal but I don't have to do whatever I want to do through his tour bus is amazing amazing it's so much it's so nice on there it's great oh my God and so when you go on tour company eventually just take that bus from town to town it's awesome

and that's how you do it from now on yeah it's great because I was talking to Sturgill and his band yesterday they were in here and he was saying that he would rather be on a bus for three days then go to an airport and that me to understand his home the bus home it's all comfortable in there they're all buddies they're all hanging out yeah you get good time how much fun was it we got great we got something so we get in the tour bus starts raining you're all everyone's in their drinking we're all talking watch it we're talking shit about Comics you can watch it on the fucking TV you can sit around and write yeah I got ten Dylan on the road with me this week that's smart to get sober and fungi that like Tim my bus drivers fucking hilarious my tour manager is my cousin and I was a good sober guy because he seems like a drunk right it's fun it's interesting that he's seen does seem like a drunk but he's not like that Meghan McCain thing you would think that has to be done by a guy was on a lot of drugs yeah he's really funny I will talk to you I only fuck that

ha ha ha that make McCabe it is fucking crazy yeah well I got he's also like super I've seen his like Twitter it's like super opinionated which is fun oh yeah it's fun to see so he to me he had the very best cake of a lot of people that were attacking Louis and that they're really mediocre comedians who didn't like the fact that Louis was brilliant and they're coming up with all these reasons why they hate him on top of what he did especially a certain Camp of comedian yeah really really Embrace that which is like because Louis always had his feet planted both amazingly and all mainstream and perfectly like everybody in both was like that's the guy yeah but when the the all Camp really came after him which was hard because those are the little virtue signaling those were the ones were like oh the king is done yeah oh he's so brilliant like like you thought he was brilliant unless you're he does it good yeah they were always saying that there's he's there exception for that

yeah LOL

what he's doing is really interesting because he's traveling around and he's just doing clubs I'm fascinated by what the draw is if he were to announce the big venue because I net and having traveled a lot this year and doing these it makes me think that he would be at like at least 75% of what his draw was I think I really really really yeah I think would be higher that much excitement to it now lost anybody there's an excitement to it now where it's like before it was like he'll be back next year Well we don't know where he was he gained more yeah you lost he gained but it's stupid but it's at the club's right now so it's like I want to see the like maybe he's just decided to just do this and make a good living travel around doing clubs or never do a special again maybe just enjoys doing stand-up I don't know I don't know either well there's I feel like I noticed different types of comics there's Comics that like to live in LA and do spots in LA and not get out and I don't think

he's that guy think Louis likes being on the road I think he likes the road you know the roads so different than LA and New York yeah it is it's also you know it's all his fans the become the CM yeah I mean it's also fun to New York it has a lot of spots in New York and he did anyway is he doing now is we're not really anymore because there were videotaping everything you said that's such a problem now is people video to I have a lot of people who is video everything I'm doing they're just videotaping the entire thing have you thought about using those Yonder bags I have not because I don't know I think it's just a pain in the ass I just I just kind of what are you gonna do fight we did it at the Chappelle show 25,000 super deep yeah yeah the other kind of people we did it also on the next night how long does it take to get them in Salt Lake out takes a while yeah takes a while but if you know the thing is Yonder they know how to do it the the Tacoma show was the biggest show that ever handled before there was you know it's nice out there she'll like that as soon as it ends nobody's going their phone they're all talking to each other but what they

saw you know that I keep hearing leading up to my Netflix special too I did it for a few months I did it for three shows yeah was it what do you think what is it cost what is the cost to you it's we talk about it afterwards it's not cheap it's not cheating though cost a little bit of money because right now I'm getting ready for my Netflix special and what I realized is like some like you still got to take chances even though you're in a theater you're still gonna have to roll the dice and take chances and write new material because you haven't really got it yet mmm and I hate that people are recording me Taking Chances yeah like and like trying to figure things out and I go don't put that on YouTube it's not done yet like I want to tell you when it's done yeah like a pay attention quit even if you're just using it for yourself just pay attention watch it in the room you know what's the best and but by best I mean the worst was Miami because when I use the Yonder bags of Miami was it the Jackie Gleason Theater yeah these motherfuckers they would get up constantly to go outside to make phone calls and then come back so the like the crowd instead of

is sitting down Focus was just people constantly getting up and lie how to use the coming back because they had to use it so to go outside go outside to use it then to come back it was the one city super swag we said if you want to starve to death open up a book store in Miami Thomas fucking party place on Earth that's the spot yeah and that one was so clear watching the audience's get up and leave ever been to Fort Myers oh yeah that's bad to be there next week Amy's particularly party though it's a different vibe but it's a different vibe it's coke coke far this is a Coke that's also an all-night you know all night all the time you can get good food Miami at 3:00 in the morning absolutely no questions asked I think it's weird that you're looking for it either the can I get dinner now at 3 a.m. the kid he's like yeah well rest assured when the moms clothes you like I just got this drink there's put in a paper cup like go yeah all right okay yeah it's the sun comes up place for sure it's it's an interesting place it's not my favorite but I know but I like going there because it makes me realize

I feel like I'm in another country looks like I'm doing stand-up and Costa Rica or something you are basically you AR there's a wild people there's so much dancing in the streets I feel like my name is letter command yeah Lively everyone's Lively lot of Lambos lot of Tom Segura cars driving around yeah jewelry a lot of fucking crazy clothes even see yourself in a flossie car man don't care about cars really really really but you have this beautiful view you show me that thing you were very proud of it I don't you say you don't know I like it I like it but I don't I don't really give a fuck I'm not a car guy with your stuff Indulgence what's your stuff yeah what are you what are you going to that cars like what would I don't think I think I don't knock that indulgent like financially I don't really care about jewelry too much I've necklace my grandma gave me I don't really care about stuff like that like watches yeah but I don't really care I stopped wearing my Rolex I just thought it's too flashy and I've got it I thought get robbed so I was like a fucking

everyone wears that watch you doing this is just a for my running how's it going man Carmen's yeah it is you're on stage in front of fucking 2,800 people and then you go hey let's go out to a bar after this and then you got $50,000 on your wrist yeah it's where it's just kind of thousand now we're gonna roll it you wearing presidential rose gold damn straight Tracy Morgan just giant fucking gold ropes yeah the fat gold ropes and maybe a giant dollar bill sign I get I get anxiety when I hear about you guys spending money like like when you like something you when you when you got this place I got anxiety for you because I go like I don't know you got a lot of money but I go but aren't you afraid you're gonna run out like that's how I am with money I'd I'm a hard time spending it well some people are famine thinkers yeah I why don't I but I think yeah I think I do and it's like when you got to the lambo I got scared for you cuz I was like why would you do that yeah I'm trying to get him to buy it for real yeah but you

like spend money that you do like spending money like spend money Joy it yeah grew up poor I like I like having money I don't think you should have money if you're not going to spend it I just don't I don't agree with that but but there's not a part of your comic brain that goes this could all be taken away yeah fuck that that's I got a different brain than you yeah my brain doesn't work I work every fucking weekend because I go I want to get the material sharp only get ready for the special I want to make as much money as while the sun shines make hay while the sun shines to you're gonna be fine yeah but I can't let me more often and stay off the Molly this guy yes at the moment probably all the time yeah it's doing Molly just a tool for it so he doesn't feel bad to spend all his money on cars and shit you know the it's so crazy that how what a character I've become yeah but I'm not even a real human anymore ha ha ha that's you know that was Tennyson's problem he became a character yeah kinnison even talked about it and Wilkes Hunter has Thompson the

issue you know as he got famous for being this wild man you know and people that new Hunter would say that when the cameras were off he was a different guy but when he knew that the cameras were there he would all sudden take on this character like you know there's a you know that band beardyman is fits him as and I were reading off Hunter S Thompson's daily routine oh yeah yeah great we're reading it off and beardyman turned it into a video turn the water so long and then turned into this crazy video oh yes yeah okay it's really I saw that for this apparently didn't really live like that every day it was just like when someone one of our reporter was there where he was just like I'm just going to do Coke and drink all day I'm gonna wake up at 4:00 in the afternoon and I'm going to you know eat fucking Cheetos and Doritos and enchiladas and be like this is my root drink margaritas and you know 6 a.m. in the hot tub with champagne you know and that's that's what

do any would ride at midnight after you mean so yeah this reporter there and he's doing all these hard hard drugs up until midnight and at midnight he started writing so he writes till 6 a.m. and then 6:00 a.m. so cool it's not yes you are I would like it but what's cool is when you're that guy like kinnison said they would just lay out lines of coke for I'm like oh it's him it's him you're fucking do this and he's kind of what you go through you have no fucking idea is you when I just I don't bring I'll bring a drink on stage and I'll drink have my drink I'm doing one show I'll have it when I tell the machine story but if I just have a like a soda and I just take a big sip they go fucking nuts and and it's hard because it's hard because I do like drinking so like when people are like hey can I buy you a drink yeah like all right and you're like well fuck like yeah right I get it and no one had like when I told everyone I already slept in Mali on stage they just cure your the machine and you're like I'm also a fucking dad like I'm kind of like that but you

I don't even know like I remember hearing about a me and Sarah when they got in trouble for the jokes they made going that's a character I do and I can't wrap my head around a difference between who I am on stage who I am up offstage like I'm the same person so like I said I can understand being a character even though you know what I mean I know what you're saying I can't understand that either I'm bait I'm basically exaggerated version of me on stage that is yeah right because I find their way yeah the finest funniest ways I'm looking at life but they're always of actually looked at life I've never said anything on stage where I'm like I've never said that was my perspective but I'm going to take on this perspective in order to get these people to laugh at my hate that shit hey we're coming to that I'm like you don't believe that just changed choked up yeah or if I take the take the high road and try to write the fucking joke the way you want it to sound lasted something's fucked up to say that you got to know that I don't really think that I will say you're saying I'll say guess what I don't even fucking thing

that right I just think it's funny Ha-Ha know what about what about you on the podcast feel how much have you on the podcast is who you are off God it's like a hundred percent of me on the podcast I've been doing it for so long I don't think I would know how to fake being someone else no but nobody's like but then like so it wouldn't work like this the one of the reasons why this podcast works is because it seems like a hang like you guys know me this is me yeah you know yeah this is it yeah did he if that wasn't the case but it also makes it so much easier can imagine if that if you had a character that you were doing on a podcast and you have to keep that character I was like for me that's one of the reasons why it's so easy to do the UFC and so easy even to do stand-up it's like live all the time yeah the the idea of someone watching you is easy it's normal right like when I do those UFC broadcasts and you know if I'm doing a pay-per-view millions of people watching this is fucking hugely important thing we don't even rehearse I don't even know what they're going to ask maybe yeah that's perfect

no idea of no idea and that's how I've always done it but I know what's happening I know who the fighters are I know what's going down but that's because I'm a fan so when John anak turns to me and he's like you know in this light heavyweight title fight you know you know Bubba Bubba Jon Jones and I'll just start going off I just started talking about it but it's because of this because I do this so often I feel like other sports broadcasters do so much more prep so much more work than you sure yeah they all study their binders for like five days welcome to I do study fights but I still fights because I'm interested that's enough yeah that just happened to be a fan yeah so it's easy look if I was doing basketball I'd have to really pay attention to the team's really pay attention to who's playing who and what the implications Are For Fighting I know it I know I pay attention to it constantly so when something's happening I'm like I'm excited about this I only know comedy like that like I know there's only one thing I know and it's comedy yeah that's the only thing I have any expertise and at all because I

don't know anything about anything well I think that's one of the good things about being not so good at something it's like something that you get excited about I think it helps to other things like I think archery like and bowhunting I think it helps my comedy and I think it helps podcasting at the help because it's something that I'm learning how to do so it's something we're excited about yeah because it's take requires a lot of work requires a lot of thinking and it's a very absolute thing when you can't fuck it up it has to be done correctly it's like there's a lot of work that has to go into it you can't fake the work I don't know if I could get into anything without comedy being the purpose that I'm there like if I got into archery would be like this is the right a bit about we have hobbies outside of Comedy no we're how ya like I don't like I don't understand never understood when people say their Hobbies I never could never wrap my head around that I go yet making video works for like running for it no but I don't even really I only run to try to be healthy I don't enjoy it I'm like I don't have any hobbies what about you

yeah I don't know I mean I've I've actually always been that have that thing where I'm like man I wish I had more hobbies and then I'll the way that I kind of talk myself down from the criticism is like well I just have a very busy life you know I have kids I have a wife I have the podcasting I have touring it's like they're kind of a hobby too though yeah it is just a lot going on I like certain things like I've gone to a couple tracks to drive and I really love it but it's fucking to fight like you know that's a lot of they're not here we're not like improper La you gotta go to them once a week well this isn't there a Porsche Driving Experience yeah somewhere fantastic yeah it's great yeah and so is going to M school he could do that that was one of our things we do for class oh yeah absolutely sure that's really fun let's do it do you are you allowed to use your own card you can use their car use that now there's a like in so basically at the Porsche Driving Experience they have one Atlanta they have went the one here you sign up for

a certain thing for that day so it's like turbos GT3 you want to do a master the manual you pick a class and then like that's your car for the experience right then they have different tracks that have a bowl they have a slip like a flip this kind of thing where the ground moves oh yeah you have it amazing like if you want to feel like you can't drive you get in the car with like a their pro drivers and you're like yeah the drive and they're like check out this shape you like yeah I don't know how to drive I've only been doing it for like 25 years some of your like I don't know how to drive because they're fucking amazing dry yeah and then M school is like BMWs thing it's out and like towards Coachella that's fucking so fun and you get em to sm-3s and emphasize on different courses what we should do what we should do is to keep the competition alive

but not make us go crazy about it go for time is do like two three activities like a driving a shooting or three active in activities that none of us have previous experience in and just just straight competition see who's the best but the driving part you're going to be hampered by your weight yeah a lot of weight hmm thanks for four or five hundred pounds in that front so yeah that's how the tour we can join me or Tom Kurth we are fascinating about Lee do something like that you know we could also do something like that where I mean we're doing this sober October right this is our October unless you have alcohol you are bringing we could we could break this up and we could do it another time to like we don't have to do this just once a month or once a year rather we can do something else like Library this is this but it's one of the most fun things we do we could do on top of Being Sober we can do another thing on another month

where it's just a racing month that you don't have to be sober at all I like pushing my like that you could do a fishing month yeah the race thing you'll love dude fucking racing and assigned a track somewhere the fascinating thing is like when I don't have that tell you have that race trigger no more say that and I don't want you know what the thing that gives like maybe you to where you get Confident by the wheel I start getting nervous going it's gonna flip it's gonna flip right right right yeah he's already alive and if you believe the instructor because they're they're so good and they tell you like no no like like hit the throttle up to this point where you go that's way too late to be hitting the brake and they're like let me show you how you actually see it then you start to get the confidence to follow the instruction but brightest you're gonna panic when you realize how long Five Hundred Words is or 500 pages dude when you said 500 pages I panicked already 500 pages

midsize books you can't read a book and he said look that's probably that's what we couldn't read this fucking will be a real shit of just words that don't mean anything to how much is that I'm sister eat something the quantum worlds of the emergence of space I would be like I bet I couldn't understand the first sentence and then the judge has I listened that book on audio and I had to go back over it multiple times that's heady fuck it's not easy less Hobbies maybe yeah you do too much shit man I'm like I get God I'm think I'm a different kind 15 how close was I pretty good like you I'm a different kind of crazy though my kind of crazy needs other things thinking about to quit bits one belonging to Allison the other baseman Bob I don't even own equipment is I'm lost I'm trying to explain it to you I mean II can't I look at your schedule and it gives me a panic after pissed start a panic you guys are anxious maybe take your drink with you Bill Cosby over here

don't take advantage you afterwards I think yeah we should have another monsters astray reading challenge yeah reading challenge just for a month all right what are the odds what are the odds Joe goes back and listens to this yeah it's all just trash and put like fucking like peasants it's playing in it ha ha ha I told me I told I told I told my buddies great guy great guy man I told my bus driver that Tim Dylan's gay and because I was like his we're gonna meet him you're not gonna know and my bus drivers a little crass yes I was like I don't want you know I just giving you a heads up and both de Williamson and Andrew my cousin the bus driver leaves and he goes last fucking a good prank I go what and they're like telling something that he's gay when he's not gonna go no he really is gay in there like oh for real we found out we could shit on my bus no just on the yeah a new box of grinder yeah Brian do you can see

the bus you get grinds up the shit and puts it out so yeah the whole thing with me it's amazing the game changer for the week when you can't shit on the bus stop it's over Dude also what ends up happening is you have two shows you eat dinner at midnight and you're like all right let's go to bed and then you have like a fucking for am middle of the night dude first thing in the morning you know cleaning at Night 40 minutes you know while you find a bathroom the in Italy and we're driving through the Canadian Rockies and Leanne pops up there's like her first day on the bus and she's like hey where are the wipes out I'm like what you mean she goes I'm gonna go take a dump and I was like no you land all this shit on the bus your thumb shooting right now like I'm about to death it's coming out like I'm going right now and I said no no you can't you gotta go ask the driver to pull over we go out and it's just mountains everywhere and he's like I don't know what to tell you and what I'm like you're gonna be sitting on the side of the road into the snow we found a fucking rest stop it at the lack of what that's right stop right there pulled over so fucking beautiful so beautiful yeah that's the other thing about the tour marked as you see the country you do leave

and shit those changes your entire week can you imagine how much fun it would have been if when you guys were touring with Joe you guys had a tour bus would be perfect you guys would have had the best times your fucking lives yeah how did I show you the video of my best after this do you think your boss is better than births without question numbers was amazing he's not I'm the tour bus Channel this is no there's no way he can have it I guess yours ten times better ten times better than that great but it's the most state-of-the-art bus you can get so if it's not that then it's you have J Lo's boss I did it didn't you boss you wrap it fuck no dumbest thing in the world to read your book I would wrap my buddy how's the girl I saw his bus on the outside of my hotel and Madison and I went in there my oh well I mean obviously it's his I'm with Adrian and I'm just like I knocked on the window nothing and then it just like open the door and just walked in yeah again like Dave up and it's like oh my God I am my name is Ari I'm a comedian

Herbert and he's like like they're sleeping on to his bus Jesus those fights so funny to see people just re is a heightened version of our he's in the in the in the atmosphere yeah people hear stories about already like him drugging people or whatever and so rapist bread doesn't you know and and so Dave met Arie for the first time and you are he's very quiet person yeah in real life people don't know that you know he's not and he was like what the fuck is that that fucking crazy Savage that I hear about I just a moment by the way by the way for the busting now you see you know I also add one point had the biggest piece of shit bus really yeah yeah oh what do you like are just automatically went for my glass so bombs October we're not with what are we doing Gas Monkey Garage

so this is lighting a fire is still burning oh my gosh what are we doing

you bringing the Bell Rings all right there's the Temptation are you want the Temptations dark clanging we got ice we got shot glasses

very well what do you want to do are you what are you gonna do I'm gonna put some glasses oh my God whoo ring that bell ring that Bell right now is have it in front of me

Dan Aykroyd gave us a massive speech on how good that vodka is that's his hmm yes melons mom we see our if you take a little sip I'm not going to be mad at you damn it smells better than Tito's Bobby this is very good vodka he explained this process they use their diamonds they actually have some sort of fucking diamonds that they use to filter it but Bert smell it smell it smells just as remote from yeah we could all just dies we can still do this challenge stuff yeah we could be sober for most of October 4 January it's just just tell your tale annoyed easily set up a little bit it smells good it does it's very good it smells ganic or give me a hell of a sales pitch yeah I know man yeah it had holy fucking shit right he uh he's the one I can't imagine doing coke with that guy all right he talks he talks a good talker yeah he did really good podcast lately thank you he believes a lot

nonsense he does oh my God everything Channel or psychics fucking you name it all right thanks for whatever he doesn't there's not a goddamn thing it's all poor glass and we'll all put it to our lips and we'll see if anyone opens her mouth and what happens when they do the month is over is over the month is over no just keep going yeah you want it that was a little sip have a sip we're doing on the first is more than 30 days left right now yeah there's 30 and 100 like importantly by the Mayan Count calendar I don't need totally over so we're all dead summer twenty first two thousand is that khumbu to have alcohol in it yeah I'm right here okay come on look man since since the challenge isn't like as intense like this is a sobriety really matter another even done the surprising yeah we're calling in October so

so bombs I told us in the problem is Ari and I already got higher earlier we were smoking cigars and we both got a buzz no doubt about it so it's over the sober part I think all right I cheated I think it I think it should be over that's like that's a

feeling we did it wrong I don't either up how about go to your why would you do that sober how about with every drink you take you have to do an additional class oh I love this oh my God my dick just got hard I'm gonna get soaked and black belt in Jujitsu every drink is a Class 1 and November 26 class to be fucking Rich I'll be fucking I wanted to quit bitch are we really doing this every drink is a classic you start from zero with that every drink is ever us drink is an extra class rank as a clogged up more than ten drink some of the dominant classes you don't know what it's gonna fuck me you have ten classes that you owe period Then if you drink every drink is an additional class one is it just you or three more classes after 13

says yeah that's impossible that'll you'll never be able to get that many yeah break the fast track for Biro a legit drink it can't be liar go just have a fucking beer stein full of dude is what dreams are like ha ha ha what about like that does we'd apply to the same thing yeah every time you take a hit and actually last joint I mean do you realize just for one night of drinking I would have to do to Cabinet will be no time you would never be able to do it you'd have to talk to your classroom classes a day for the whole month weight and one night what yeah what is one night for real we're doing doubles all right like like what's a double one for if I'm like if I'm on the road I'll have a bring a double on stage with me I'll be double after the show I would double the bar have a double in Boston when we're done so it's hey drinks a drink so that would be fun let's set you straight will you be like I'm straight right now or like stop the shakes with stop yeah yeah yeah it was obvious it was just one time of course there were times I couldn't use chopsticks

in Japan at the airport one hey hey tebasaki Mom real quick starving over here gasps wow yeah dude wonder what gets me is those long flights because I drink on Long flights so it's what fucks me up you do it do it just smell it would add a class I like that for every drink we do we have to add a class I would start I would do it with starting from zero but then I'm not tendril we're October that's not the thing is people listening to this they are either severely disappointed first of all in me for bringing in shot glasses and Ice definitely angry right now a lot of them are really look forward to doing this already angry at re births of victim you know you're a fucking rapist yes you're very bad you might out beat Bill Cosby is the number one Canadian rapist ha ha ha you didn't like the Welch holy shit there was the nicknames coming your way it was a woman who is a she was talking about Bill Cosby she said he might be the biggest serial rapist in history

easily imagine like that guy where you going as far as T going to be taking your complaint with you think about it when you're out there think about what you want to do with your sobriety

the promised sobriety is I wouldn't I'm going to die if he comes in with a fucking 12 pack of beer going to come on guys lot of booze in that fridge out there

you could do a class / drank at 50 pages per drank one of the other oh I like that start at zero you can have that means you have two nights of drinking and drugs and that's already like seven right there yeah 50 pages for a drink is a hefty price what Xanax I want to take one of those today so I'm class why do you look to it ever since the Molly have my Panic has been fucking tweaked I don't think my serotonins not back yeah so that mechanics take 5-HTP did you try it no you got some here do we have any new mood 5-HTP it's okay to tell you though I get nervous taking anything Jamie's gonna go get us some we got nervous sometimes taking stuff well 5-HTP is just all natural stuff right yeah that's not really works yes it works when I get looks s of compulsive on it new mood is it turns it off

yeah yeah really turns it off like sometimes I'll get repetitive in my head and I'll just start saying the same thing over and over and over again and it fucking makes me crazy let me ask you this when we were doing that sober October think they go 5-ht big for those yeah that's fine yeah it's are you going to put them in my drink for me too that's my only regret is not bring 5-HTP with me that will ramp up your serotonin know for sure you to do yeah take that one can I help ya if you need more let me know yeah I don't know what it's called but I sell sometimes when I get

obsession with Paul's I said the same thing is over and over in my head it's great when you work at working on a joke because you just start chewing a jar of thing over and over and over again but it fucking backfires sometimes now let me ask you this last year when we're doing that crazy Fitness shit that that kill your chatter like Tommy and I were talking about hot spins killing it really well because it's so aggressive it's I'm burning like 780 calories in a classroom our it's hot as shit and your and it you can't your brain just doesn't work in the when I get out my my serotonin levels were so high I can feel I feel great and I'm calm and I can get through the day I really honestly I cry I tried calling you one time because you always said that if you don't work out then you B go crazy and I started noticing that that working out was making me sane hmm and I was like is I wanted to talk to you about that yeah not working out was making you say no no we're not working out it's making me insane all right so like the workouts were making our Ceramics yeah that's why I started going to hot

Ben I need something I need to be in a class I can't go just go for a jog because I it doesn't help right well you gotta push it to like when you go in for a jog kind of can go at your own pace oh shut up that you're if you're in front of that instructor the instructor is going to come on let's go girl we put you to go what I do is I signed up for five k's on the road so that and a force I have forced my bus driver I've run a 5k the other day is time you ran it was it's awesome and five k's half marathons marathons suck but those kind of things are so communal that you do them and you feel like a part of a community when we ran through Des Moines gorgeous as a trail run yeah that's cool talk about all right Trail runs all the whole we take the tour bus in park it everyone gets runs are you taking drugs yeah yeah we quit oh we didn't tell you oh yeah we all had a drink and drugs thanks so take away except for Joe is that is a for is like for you yeah that's why I take what is it what what is it normal for I know it's just nutrients it's not bad so I'm going to fuck you up with

it's 5-HTP L-tryptophan which also converts to 5-HTP see here but one large drink for me this is a some vitamins an adaptogen stuff in there too it's all good for you it's all healthy yeah that's a legit supplement

that 5-HTP stuff is very legit it's really good for people that are dealing with serotonin issues well I'm a man I was hurting with panic this week in the tour bus I couldn't shut it off well I kinda think original name for new mood was a roll-on roll-off and the idea was there was we like Aubrey was a big partier and Aubry developed some shit to come down from Molly so that's literally what new mood was originally invented for and then we decided you know well there's a lot of benefit to increasing your serotonin naturally yeah just really does help your mood your fly tonight Neal Brennan is a big 5-HTP proponent he actually uh he couldn't take it with his meds yeah because it was too much really where do you fly tonight I go to Dallas I'm in Tulsa panettone oh and then Houston by think there was something for me

Angie Garth where's Garth that I think he has a nice big old a good couple places but a big old mansion Tulsa yeah does he yeah George you did you ever did you ever have a part of your career where you were we're not we're we are kind of in like are you just go from like clubs to like fucking massive theaters well Tom and I were working together first we were doing clubs yeah gun clubs like that was like nine years ago yeah and then you just you never did like like you just went to like fucking massive venues right I did a lot of theaters man yeah it's all just grinding just went through you know through the years I think yeah yeah and went through all of it yeah started clubs I mean I still do clubs to this day I still book weekends and clubs I'm thinking about moving to New York and December why to work are going to come up with a new our why do you want to move to New York and for lunch kids out of school no just me move to New York for like two weeks and just fucking do

two weeks though yeah yeah for two weeks just go for two weeks do spots like crazy yeah and right do spots in LA and still see your family bro Jesus Bert I like I like shaking it up Joe Shake it up Shake It Up I've had that fantasy before yeah I've had the exact same fantasy of doing that but the fantasy came before our he drugged me because I was like oh he's so great to be hard for two weeks and just go to spots with him big J but it'll be cool it would be cool but you're not friends anymore so you can do that and you know you know him over there how much I'm you know how much I love re that I have been damage control trying to take care of him in this I really appreciate that I really gave them by talking about it on a podcast no oh there's a there's a part where I was like I'm not going to talk about it at all and I was like in my head I was like you why you're upset yelling wait we'll talk about on the podcast yes I was like I was like like I just gotta talk about the pockets there during the weekend I was like maybe I won't I was worried about Ari and I was like I don't know maybe I shouldn't bring this up but I don't think it's a good thing

I think Ari maybe regrets it but I'm definitely doesn't look at his face he does not regret it no that's the real problem here I think is that I don't regret I think that is a problem yeah I won't do it again but I don't regret why do you not regret for real why don't you regret it was also I've nothing bad happened and it was awesome and he's allowed his wife is mad at me again but that's definitely not gonna be the last time it's not the first time I thought is unfortunate but worth it I thank great time I love I would love to see a video of Bert like the kind of him realizing it I have it really when you realize it's like kicking in yeah I remember I can't tell you I can't tell you think I saw it today because I'm debating whether to release a podcast by saw it nice when it's I see it in my eyes I go back to that fucking moment where I'm like when you realized you gotta control it's like it's like getting stranded because strapped into a one of the fucking hot rods the fucking to the jet fueled ones and they strapped

me and super tight and then they strap my hands so I couldn't touch anything and I remember I couldn't get out and I had a panic attack and I went on a jet I said I'm gonna be here for a while like I was like because they were looks and I was like I need to get out right now I need to get out right now and I had to get out it was one of doing Travel Channel but what will happen when you gave that to me I said I can't get out of this that fucking panic I go I can't fix this and then it overwhelmed me it's how I feel like mushrooms and overwhelm me and I thought I'm what if I don't like this what if I don't enjoy this how do I stop this I can't stop it Ah that's a fucking that's a panic attack right there but luckily it was it was a very it's Molly's a really interesting drug it will fight for you it'll be your Advocate Molly was like don't worry your cousin's here rub his back because you did that to him do you think we could allow him to do Molly in October I would say okay

do you want to do it no I'm not doing any Molly ever again no never and I'll be damned never what about November 1st dude you should have seen I was just use what sucked about it is as soon as he gave it to me I felt a kick in I went I don't want to do this podcast only go for a walk yeah I want to do you want to go dance I want to listen to music I want my children and wife not to be here I want to not have to explain the situation to my wife I want to not have to be on a plane so like I don't know maybe I would do Molly in the future if it was like an awesome concert or something in Vegas or something cool sounds awesome right like Britney Spears or some dude I would do Molly and go to Britney Spears remember all the lyrics all the songs Do door you better work bitch yeah I just Swift the best was so I started dancing a little bit because I knew I was taking it was like embracing kicking it and you just because out of the blue glow you are Molly right now and I just go are you and then we just can't even suck I don't know what that was oh my God how do you do it I do it when it's the right time I want to see my team

Bosstones in New York and Webster Hall I did it that night you know you're an adult right yeah what are you doing Molly for but I mean you know why is it feels good it feels great maybe he's gotten his first of all his balls don't work so we can't make babies all right yeah he had them snipped so it doesn't have that every he doesn't have real responsibilities none I think if you have more I don't know but you don't do it all the time just in the right like music Shirley how often is that now it again three times a year four times a year oh okay that's not bad yeah

festivals occasional board maybe twice a year I'm not as you do Co not that in the coke coax awesome really this is when it's around us all of the issuing it was real emotion behind that world yeah was awesome we did it it's been a long time I did it on accident one night accident yeah my buddies had that bullet where you were you load it and then flip it and they have a little bump for you and you can hit it and they couldn't figure out how to work it and I'm watching them I was getting ready to do a spot it was when I was in New York I was watching my good guys you're doing it wrong give me the fucking thing I go you take it right then you load it then we hit it you got to hit it and went and when who's gonna just go ha ha ha ha and they're like what you gonna do is like the other fucking Oscar I don't want you kidding me I used to cook a lot New York and then you went on stage and destroyed Joey says that coke fucks his comedy up but he said it made him good it might go a little deeper there's no bump Jason

the way your heart takes away the heart imagine him though like if you go like let's really do some coke tonight I feel like this is not a line is probably just the whole bag machine gun comes to people I would love to I would love to get on what's this thing all the people take the Adderall Adderall oxic oxy-powder all the Adderall is speed yeah speed yeah stuff man that's fucking awesome very very addictive it is decked out of this fucking help me do that and now I have no I've done it a few times but not recently I went down a YouTube rabbit hole the other day watching stories where people were talking about what Adderall did to them what it was like when they were addicted to Adderall we thought the whole world was against them they thought they were on top of everything that they were super competent they were capable of anything they had Unstoppable confidence it wouldn't shut the fuck up but everyone was against them being prescribed a lot of people right yes constantly kids

a lot of people get shit done now you get shit done yeah how did I hit the fucking mic cord yeah it's spooky drug though because it's just it's a sign first of all journalists everybody - a writer says almost all journalists are on it so it's so easy to write on now the what on constantly I took it when I was writing my book but it just changes who you are as a person like fucks with their head College admissions have started a lot of them adding the in the question it can the application are you on our on wow yeah really get a lie because no because that's sometimes there's a talk to a doctor who said that I have to like sign off on some of these things where the last me to fill out this one do I describe this to this person yeah fucking super common man it's super common on Wall Street is super common with people that are trying to get things done yeah we should do it we should do it for the month let's all just do it

wrong with I got fucking really get into a hard time to get off that stuff though yeah so that will be the challenge little bit so we really gonna add that for every drink you just add a class I think it's a good idea a drink or drug or shot whatever one of the things we would oh so yes so many I would have to do 80 classes about for a night of drinking it's out of class no no not attend you go nuts in a knife no no that's not easy that's too easy it's sober October supposed to be sober just be sober guys love yourself but Ari and I already smoked a cigar we did all these folks trust that's permitted guys cigars are planning on getting we got all laughing I'm starting smoking for this month so you're here would be a never smoked a cigarette I took one of Hinchcliffe cigarettes once for one stage I still want to Chappelle's to he gave me a cigarette before I went on stage it gives you a buzz uh that's a gret so boy I hate anything that's bad for you but the cigarette does give you an interesting but

it is a buzz in Big Jay did one of my podcast we talked about smoking and it was the second possible is like so awesome Head Rush I would love a cigarette right now do it you gotta get into cigarettes to start smoking cigarettes like regular smoking cigarettes late in life is de pollo yeah he started like when he was 50 that's really really sorry that's great hilarious do you know Marin was addicted to the laws of Newton yeah he was and he was like he was getting the point where he couldn't see and getting physically ill he was eating so many he'd wake up and they go to sleep with him in his mouth goddamn like that's the off now

is he okay yeah he's off he's got like something's got like 14 days off lozenges what what a fucking dumb thing to be ticket to we must or really nice I think he was really in an effort to get off these chewing gums idiot fucking hobby he's 60 years old he can't get off gum well it must be good with nicotine lozenges right yeah okay um I tried the gum because I wanted to see if it gives you the same head brush that does it Mosaic no no I tried to notice and Stockholm that the the still package people who it gives you the but that's better than anything oh my gosh you feel like there's a remember the dip Buzz was so I can really get into dipping give you about that and that Cameron's yes this month yeah that's research if you like how do you like

be like oh how white-knuckling we're getting into this bed we've all been here before you can chew you can smoke cigars you can dip you can sit smoke cigarettes I'm gonna you get into cigarettes I think about filling with not sober how about just socially drinking they just can't do it alone

well what is it that mean I mean the birds on stage in front of 2000 people that's social that's a good point in consider that but you're right I think if you do anything with a needle it should be permitted just because it's kind of high risk you don't deserve a little bit for taking them if we we do anal chugs where you drink the booze out of your I get that it's absorbing trap I need to tell you this a friend of mine his wife is a teacher and they have a problem in school with middle school kids who are at taking tampons and they're dipping them in rubbing alcohol and stuffing them up their assholes dude and they're getting high as fuck whoa tampons rubbing alcohol in your in your asshole apparently you just get Blitzkrieg that's great oh my God imagine what you're talking swollen ass

take it tampon up your asshole with rubbing alcohol you just get a tampon up her ass hole first yeah I bet you could do it can you give me examples years of going a whole month with no boot I know how he I know how he works Burt I bet you can't do that no way no way you could get a chance on the gristle not you fix tampons in my head it looks like a squid have a tampon for each one of my family members initial results say this is an urban legend but there are apparently medical no no no this is my friend's wife who's a fucking school teacher they have interventions on these kids there's articles going back for ten years saying kids have been doing this yeah a long time ago you talked about having to break that from your kid going hey put your pants on let me hear every anal chug did you hear that you did no no we did anal chugs in college and it was like for eternity where you do a handstand pour beer and of dudes asshole

it's someone else's drink catch it in a cup and then you drink it you drink it out of a dude's asshole fucking dou PSI ATO for life that you fucking really gay that's really good oh my God drink beer out of all them all you had the to get about ingested cleaning did you do all this personal friend on the floor all you had to hear was one person go enel chugging looks like we're drinking life each other assholes boxes oh my God wait you never though ingested through your ass no I've never adjusted it out of someone else no that's fucking and it's disgusting there's just something about ingesting it you can get know a John Deere dingleberries you didn't even examine it you just murdered how about if we can drink beer if we only do anal Chuck

oh God only through Josh Martin's asshole that's it only Josh paint on Gog are you doing anal chug if you're hanging right if you're a skank faster was the first to break sober driver for sure I would I would do an anal chuck if you have a sip of that I will do an anal chug well okay let's talk about this what are the benefits of being sober this month are the benefits lack of relationship with your wife I'm gone a month what I'm gonna whole month I party picked up Hobbies I was going to do in Florida spear fishing surfing like I was going to do fossils the awesome want to get into spearfishing so bad to spear fish and clams on my friend Steve rinella just started doing it he's like why do I've been wasting my time it looks cool as fuck yeah just be amazed what's-her-name the community Tom Valentin Thomas is a badass she's like she's not just it but like she actually was like surviving officers a lawyer that's amazing so I don't want to do this anymore it's really cool just travels the world and she's their official yeah I love that shit when somebody's like I'm not doing this anymore

I'm successful I don't care I don't care you should Kimi Werner without podcast you know now she likes and drinking really like start let's get back to this then go back to drinking just chill pull the plug who'd you have Kimmy who Kimi Werner who's that she's a spearfisherman she was on a Netflix documentary about the ocean and I've got obsessed with her spear fishing videos she goes down to a hundred feet and chill are you gonna do it with no air well we're just nowhere goes down and she was telling me that she just decided to get into it she was a chef or and she wasn't having fun so she got into it just one day bought a spear fish a spear thing just swam out and just was like what the fuck am I doing like this is but she was so out of her comfort zone that she felt and then she killed a fish and she came and she felt so proud she was like I'm obsessed that's it I dropped everything and then she went to the spear ship fishing championships in like Nantucket right so she goes the entire she's never been away from Hawaii and she gets out there and the water is black and she starts swimming down and she can't see anything and they're like

trust me we get down to the bottom 10 feet it clears up because all the muscles on the background and she couldn't get down to the bottom she kept getting panic attacks so popping up going like I can't do it I can't do it and then so the first station and get anything is checked fuck it I'm not gonna be beaten by the ocean Dives down gets down and it's clear as shit she's like shut the fuck up dude I don't know if I could do that spearfishing have to be in like a beautiful place like Hawaii thing right yeah why he's like he's gonna do it in Fort Myers they do it a lot of Northern California but they have issues with sharks don't him one guy was on rennell has podcast was talking about as he got to the top of the boat there was a giant boil behind him and his friends saw this huge fucking great white shark that had come up to try to bite him then realize last minute that he wasn't a seal my God giant boil like water boils at shimmy she's got she's got a shot with her in a great white shark her stripe Kimi Werner great white shark and you

psych yeah check this out I'm scared he's gonna ready she's beautiful she's pregnant now what happier baby do Bert yeah no she married she gave her Molly swimmers he jerked off in the water with her that's how it works Jesus is that her signature fucking holding a great white shark fin I'd shoot that thing right in the brain right from behind I'll just start seeing this great white sharks have been in the water with my bunch and they move so fucking intensely like their their intent is almost like when you watch a cage fighter move like quick and you can't you I don't know how to stop that that's how great white sharks are just fucking they take a right so quick your little it's mind-boggling and you're like I definitely couldn't have been myself against anything when people used to kill sharks and everybody was excited yeah now you're a Monster yeah it's all that shark fin soup is so good really no I've never had it but he's

at once for real yeah a long time ago I had a Chinese restaurant remember ordering it and it was before all the hubbub before this big all the bullshit about Gillis well before everybody was killing them and it was making

big thing in the news I just thought it was like some shit you bought and was made out of sharks fins yeah I didn't know they cut the fins off and then throw the fish back yeah that's right move yeah it's a dick most use it use the rest well that's the thing is they don't the money is in the fins they don't give a fuck about that animal is why I really value that that shark fin soup is super expensive that's dark but you know what the darkest shit is Rhino horn that's the darkish it because that is even do anything least shark's fin soup your absolute transmuting something that is part of the thing of it is the fact that it's an exclusive delicacy right but the Rhino horn in some Asian cultures it doesn't do anything to you supposed to give you a hard-on but we all know that there's other stuff that works better than that but the Rhino horn what it does do is it symbolizes your wealth and opulence that you can afford to drop a rhino horn tea it's fucked up it's great but it's super fucking popular still really still rhinos are murdered every day for their fucking horns

yeah it's crazy the elephants to write L even chopping the elephant well the elephants for Ivory though which is more like for pretty things yeah but with rhino horns they chop their fucking horns off in these reserves they'll track them and chop their horns off so that they're not they're not like worth anything oh my God how crazy is that yes he does it that conservation conservationist will chop their goddamn horns off but don't kill them and I don't they also died their horns right so it looks like they're already gone no they died their horns I think I thought maybe they're doing at us I don't know maybe maybe they do that what is the day I do it makes it not as valuable for I know right I'm sure mixing up stories yeah so what is yeah it makes sense they die them pink yeah so that they're like only be gay yeah I'm trying to get a hard dick doing over here so yeah so so but what drugs can't we do all of them

those are you could have months ago all its in this kombucha smoke cigars because you guys smoke so we can drink alcoholic kombucha I'm sure yeah or not tell us we're done well we could put vodka in Cambodia are in are saying well we're doing it like I hope it does suck but we did fuck up tell us shit down between you two cigars so then it's me and Tom going for the belt yes I guess re and I are out that's true youngistan her still try to do the classes but I well I'm out also know where am I my whoop bailed I'm still gonna run but yeah go ahead guys who's have some booze it's Tom yeah I guess we fucked up sorry guys it's okay sorry disappointing what is a shot glass it's kind of a little closer remember sighs Chaka you guys have a still shot glasses on the road know what a dumb thing to buy right you definitely should yeah

these are gasps my career options here with this is these are Gas Monkey Garage well the fuck out of them too but that it would but it's such a dumb like you don't need shocked cause of your house you just use a glass no I know but people you know that no yeah you do if you're doing sake bombs they want to portion-controlled shot like our and I are about to do right now yeah it's it br0 Miss grab how good we did the guards by the way this is this what made me so fucking happy what it yeah just tapped out yeah just yeah there's lots of the challenge I mean I'll still try to do the challenges with that would make you happy bird coming up we failed and you did not that's all it is where's that bill that so were there go look at it you'll never own a look at it

subpart it's gonna put it on tevye Jesus yeah look at that Bert

I could see I could see Burt doing like extra classes hmm well that even fit you know you want a hand come sit down sit down with that beautiful belt on look at you Qbert you guys take a shot and watch Tom and I go fucking Toe to Toe if you guys if we don't if we did back out right now and Ari and I just decided to just stop this foolish childish game and just better ourselves for the month yeah I mean our and I are not alcoholics right yeah neither a time I keep going to keep you were saying I need gonna re and I don't even have a problem drinking I think you'd admit it's very least you have a bit of a problem oh no problem hey fatty liver no I'm mindful delivers perfect now

instantly I can tell to a confession Huntsman classes his livers perfect are you trying to say though Joe I was trying to say you and I can just better ourselves very much better ourselves we could you know go to dinner with our ladies and just have a nice glass of wine like a gentleman so yeah a couple nights when you go for it a beer with your hot dog it's got a nice thing to have mostly chill it up when you're a Yankee game drink some beers with the guys when you feeling so much better if you want the whole month without it and then at the end then you can really appreciate it how do you even win it this month how do you win just beating you how would you beat me I'm winning well how about me what about me and REO back out and you to just go to town against each other but wait how are we going to town what if are you nuts most classes if our and I did most sobriety motion passes muster body most classes most sobriety so who could be so

size or type of sobriety it's definitely time for sobriety no no burke-class know Tom could be sober easy easy got Tom fucking dead inside that is what's your resting heart rate from a whoop when you're asleep did you see no I haven't seen what's your Toms is dude like 30 to 35 what does that mean well it means you everybody I means it's by his heart of a really hard time getting that if I lose 40 pounds I might be the most dynamic endurance athlete alive ever ever run a marathon you have a fucking animal no but that's really low man well as you did you say you were - oh no where's the show it my resting heart rates I think I can always tell you I can just tell him I watch too not enough but when you sleep it's like your true it was 1:30 1:31 when you're I've got a whore I got a really high heart rate today

let's see by the way where does it show it why is this thing sorry Q think my app froze hmm if we did back out what would you guys do how would you guys work things out let's just see who's belges he Tom you would just beat Tom doing what though if you're not you're not most cleaning how you're going to win more classes in him more classes more books hmm not much but maybe not in your book and I walk that's is more books

more I'll take more Dynamic classes was that mean you'll higher level of class I'll take more like I'll do not just hot spend I'm going to do like karate Spanish I'm gonna do this like every I'm going to do is do the weirdest classes you can Transcendental Meditation okay I think if you do more class than Tom you you would win about yes okay now you guys are not getting out of this you're not out hmm no go ahead drink it

drinking it I know I'm really want a drink right now I wouldn't have a drink if it wasn't tempted for this yeah but every minute the past that we don't drink it makes it like less more of a waste to not have just drinking already where the fuck do you find yours you're wrestling with him is I just saw it when I woke up and now I don't see it so I don't know where it is this is under strain coach our sphere Jew come to Chicago November and San Jose as well Nashville technically this is so vague held so interesting how much is she a dusting tells you

look at this sober October internal what does that something in our app how we have a group app did you see this I know is they set it up for us we go to sober October so how do we know mine is it shows you exactly what is only know yours isn't connected yet it just shows Bert and and Tom oh I see where do I see this I want to see this Joe I see it now I see your resting heart rate what is it where is it it's in that in that thing you slide over which thing the you go which one I don't know how to explain it man it says our HR resting heart rate but what do you see it I mean in within that internal thing right so I'm there and then but it's just a stray neck note swipe swipe like swipe over a page okay I see then it says recovery HRV well my resting heart rates 27 what yeah

HRV sleep performance 71% now let's not write my notes on 20 no it's not fun 27 Joe mine says that your resting heart rate is 65

oh mine says 61 mine 66 your says 78 on mine oh my God you can see it so many other people's yeah oh how are you getting into the groupie 161 and 74 that's the range but I guess it's giving me your what's your documents on Shaun micheel Brock toner toner octodome room for Christ sure so I'm winning right now you're really right being more fucked up than us 12.8 I've learned 2,100 calories yeah yeah but that's just moving your feet no that's that's the hot spin this morning don't on Tom dun dun dun dun dun yeah today I took the day off yeah I didn't do shit that I would see you winning but you're winning it was a Belfield wait one last thing though is there is there seriously like if we're all doing what we agreed to do right how can someone winner is it really gonna be doing great cost extra classes wow

I mean let's get him it's going to trigger that here's the thing if you want to pull out the fucking open the psycho door I don't want to open your spine and or II actually think last year you actually stop liking me like it's halfway through I thought I think I was like bothering you I don't think you ever liked you

so I don't want to open up this site main thing do you would look at me weird when you see me a like maybe the side of your eye that's competition sir yeah I didn't like that yeah I don't think we should do whoever does them extra credit just going to make every it's going to piss everybody off it's gonna piss the wives off for sure gonna be a real problem and we'll look we already all have crazy travel schedules and yeah plus we don't have to do that okay let's go extra so how can you win more pictures here that's what I'm I'm killing it out there talking you it but the problem is if we if you his way to win I'm gonna try to win it's kind of clear try you can't even you can't even just for you can't even just let you win put it to the side nope I don't think so what if we made a caveat what's the caveat sober October winner doesn't have to defend his belt and that way you'll try really hard and that way we can get Joe out of this doesn't have to defend the belt yeah dude it's like the but then you would like you can help but you win a new belt every year yeah we'll check the bad motherfucker belts I'd want to Stack a belt yeah you want to get the sub

again otherwise you're just out of the competition and won all the belts I don't want anybody to win

I wish we could have that caveat of a drinking classic I would love a drink before you on my plane tonight yeah drink right can we drink no you can have a drink what drink concoction be doing the drinking part we should say that for January why January because nothing's happening in January I think we share this the thing is this is a problem here's the problem we have got a bunch of other assholes that we don't even know invested in our little thing yeah so that will come with us would you be upset with us if we just started we just started drinking a little bit because special training measure our fucking what days were drink yeah kind of a real problem if we could stay sober and just eat Edibles for the month that works how about you take your drug well sober used to mean alcohol it's it used to be just used to me now let's just say alcohol free and then see whatever happens my thing just alcohol-free yeah but you're the one who got us into it well look us alcohol free we got to wrap this contest out soon just wrap almost five o'clock we don't know she'll you like that meat all right I have a show tonight

where you going Comedy Store nice comrades to a restaurant and I club sold out chicken wings are fresh they're not even Wings still like tenders which is very very questionable not that let me get it tender like where is it from like what part of the bird is the tender part so then let's pass and let's let's let's get this solidified so we are all workers ten classes 500 pages we all are in agreement and Edibles under 20 milligrams right Edibles and I 20 milligrams and Xanax and ambient just no alcohol no alcohol sober no alcohol if you want to do Edibles under 20 milligrams I'm in sober no help you sleep like yes is that what you need it for that's why I don't want you to not get sleep bro they love you guys I want you to be healthy I like this fucking thing to monitor good sleep I don't mind I don't mind I don't mind Edibles I won't use them yeah but I don't mind giving you guys Edibles if you need that to get through Friday night no I mean

I'm serious I don't really give a fuck I won't eat animal studies to I'm afraid while I'm not are you did you tell your doctor though that you're going to dial back drinking for like to get through the month because if you do it cold turkey you can get really sick you get sick nobody already proven it on herself or that you guys are out of your fucking war I've not drank a lot guys he's done it before the last two years yeah but you always had met of these divisions no I never had medical supervision to dial back drinking yeah just stop you're not supposed to do that hey you know this is our fourth year of this shit what your thought thorough no no you'll offer wait a wait list Channel tones okay and then we had hot rollers of sober October is our fourth year of doing something crazy give me a weight limit give me a weight limit if I get to it I get to about 525 I get to 205 by the end of October it 205 I'll do a hydration not on ya not a water bringing one FC that was bringing one FC Championship people do if I think even if he cuts I mean how that the 205 would be a miracle that would be amazing I'll tell you that right now you don't even cut seven pounds of the

do you compliment but uh this I'll tell you this there is no competition however if you get through 205 you can hold on that belt for a year I do it because I'm the champ you're the champ and if you don't get 205 yeah and if you don't get there you have to go to therapy for a year to talk about your weight hey fuckface got one back in the very beginning my back in there because of you you cunt in your audio fucking I've been out of therapy and then this fucking happens I had to talk to my therapist Jesus fucking jackass whether tell you been avoiding stuff I feel healthier when I'm around you guys fix my brain did it I'm feeling so much better beautiful beautiful I'll send you more of it it's really good I take before you go to I'm gonna give it a new body in Germany before you go to that was Rabbi Ari 5-HTP it says take before bed yeah you can it helps your body produce yeah but you might take it to Tyler's DP

it's not bad no no this was in your hands you keep him so ten classes ten classes and 500 page of a book all they all have to be different or is just toxic up and accidentally take more drink three you need to class every every drink the more three of one class though right no more than three of one class I don't that doesn't mean anything to me if you want to take Jiu-Jitsu every day I think you still win just tank are you still you still dunk tank gun cocks has know and and and and do new fun things I think you should mix it up yeah I don't think you should have to that'll be the fun part I'll enjoy that because that whenever I go in a new class of münster story hey guys I'm doing goat yoga if you want to do that you can do that when I think what's important is that you do something to better yourself whether it's mean if you want to take ten tactical classes take that if you want to do ten yoga classes take that you want to do 10 Jujitsu classes take that 500 pages of a book can't be a children's book I think agreed 500 pages of one book any book we can be the good life this has to be two books I'm not really reliable operation book I read a hundred

pages of five different books if you want to just fuck I like doing that one of the things I like doing is I like reading a couple chapters of a book then I get bored I pick up another book you could also read this like big print you know huge print like crayon 10 page books just a bunch of them yeah you can read and watch men it's okay we all know no kind of real as we read a real book no no children's books

um anything else like that's we got to get to reading what about planes gonna tommen is reading prediction Edibles do we encompasses now cut I'll cut it on both I want no no we should all to be able to do Edibles and some some met some sort of like methamphetamine be it methamphetamine or what if you have a prescription for Adderall and you don't want to you know your doctor think what about prescription drugs period yeah what about prescriptions Annex I can take one right now well are you on Xanax and they give you they have a prescription for medical tax take it if you panicking are you panicking what are you thinking about your heart how's it beaten it's weird cause I tell you I'm super aware right now do you feel like your livers chubby there was perfect 205 the go away and if you get the belt then under on 5 you get the belt yeah because I'm not even I mean I'm not even contesting it that this is good for me because this way hounds a day it's not a it's not a challenge like I don't have to say you all get to 160 who Jesus that's good

fuck out of me just thinking about thinking 160 oh my God just saying it but we're not all going to be here in November you're gone you're gone yeah but I'm here Mom I don't go for long stretches when's my way in if I do get it to a five-point why are you here why are you here it's November 1st November 1st November 1st I'm here November 2nd is the UFC I think flying the first you find the 33 mean what are you looking at the first is the horse is November Saturday right that's the first is the first is Friday right where you going where you going to look at that weekend where you mean every first fighting the guy at the UFC yeah I do oh my God and if you can make 205 I will hand it to you on stage

you see weigh-ins wow no it's got any water you're fucking my head I set it up I will set it up with the UFC wow so that you can weigh in oh come on you should do that I will do a hundred percent do that for you Bert except for the fact that you've gone never--we never combine I'm it's gonna be hard enough to if you won't do it but this is an awesome challenge listen I'll stream it live how much you weigh 235 236 237 68 shit I counted a hundred percent pounds a day that ain't shit you could do that Fighters do way more than that you could kind of Fighters who cut 30 pounds in two days but yeah that sounds That's not healthy but you can lose the 30 pounds in a month healthy really did lose a pound a day yeah man you have weights no sugar no sugar no growls all vegetables and in Cut way back on your portions how you vegetables and salmon this way back yeah portions way back but if you make 205 I will bring that

fucking belt to New York City and I'll put it on you on the fucking stage where the UFC fighters weigh-in will stream it live and if you don't it'll be very embarrassing but this is you know if I don't know gonna fly to New York amazing they do it'll be amazing but true of five is such a you feel like fuck up pussy I need you to 11 the day before let's just not even of night and go into the word man you can do it you can do it cut water wouldn't fuck around like you did with Tom with Tom you played catch-up you tried to do it all real towards the end times all time do you have any cheese I can help you with this drink the whole time Tom was grinding he was grinding the entire time I was drinking nothing but water the whole month you barely beat you few pounds 3 pounds maybe yeah you could have got ahead of him early and and set a pace that he couldn't keep up with he did his best and he only beat you by a few pounds

no way you can find way but there's no way I could do that right he can't do it I'll stop stop we're coaching them here I used to host Fear Factor listen you could do it 205 you can a hundred percent do it you weigh in 205 you get the pelts and and this is great for me because there's no chip there you go look at that the two of you so happy everybody happy um the thing is if you way if you do do it and you weigh 205 for me I don't need that belt it's all you man you can have it on the UFC stage at Madison Square Garden let that marinate on your flight I gotta go man yeah all right okay yeah I can really think about any PC marinate yeah marinate that's booze they just boost my sometimes one yeah all right that's it everybody thank you thank you thank you thank you bye yeah buddy buddy that's what or happy silver October I got it thank you everyone for tuning into the show and thank you to Teeters fit spine inversion table you can get the

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