#669 - Joey Diaz

Jul 7, 2015

Joey “CoCo” Diaz is a Cuban-American stand up comedian and actor.  Joey also hosts his own podcast called “The Church of What’s Happening Now” http://www.joeydiaz.net

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hello ladies and gentlemen hi this episode before we get started comedy dates got the July tenth date is coming up that's this Friday night and I'm at the cop theater at the MGM in Vegas with Tom Segura and Tony Hinchcliffe then July 24th I'm at the Chicago theater with Brian motherfucking Callen August 29th I'm at the Moody Theater in Austin Texas with

the great Ian Edwards and then the next gigs are the 18th and 19th of September I'm in Vancouver at the Orpheum on the 18th and then Calgary at the Southern Alberta Jubilee Auditorium on the 19th House of Blues in Houston on the second and then House of Blues in San Diego on the 16th in between then Beast

slinging jokes around Los Angeles and I'm sure I would book a bunch of other shit in there too as well that's it go to Joe Rogan dotnet click on the tour link and all the ticket information all that bullshit is available there this episode of the podcast is brought to you by Dollar Shave Club Dollar Shave Club is a great way to save money and conveniently get excellent razors delivered right to you there's a bunch of different blades to choose from they send you a dope ass handed

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Primal being my favorite of course because I'm Simian obsessed we have all sorts of groovy shit as well as workout DVDs really cool stuff like the steel maces and steel clubs quad mace which is inspired by Alex Gray's artwork and in fact a portion of the proceeds of every one of these things that we sell goes to Alex Gray and his Chapel of sake

mirrors which is really fucking cool this is a very cool place that he has put together including an actual physical location in Upstate New York now Alex who has been on our side our podcast many times the chapel of sacred mirrors from sure he calls it excuse me I'm sorry Chapel of sacred mirrors if you go to cosm dot-org you can find out what he's doing and what it's all about but it was inspired

by his work so we send him and it's cool it's cool thing to work out with it's a dope piece of actual cast iron artwork I talk too much go to on a.com oh and nit use the code word Rogan and save 10% off any and all supplements one of the people that we sponsor at on it.com is the great motherfucker of all motherfuckers Joey Diaz one of my best friends on the planet for a couple decades now I love the shit out of this dude he's just an awesome human being and I'll

just love being around them and I think personally he's the funniest dude that's ever lived I've said this before I think that this is the greatest time ever for stand-up comedy when I look around and I see the comics that are alive today guys like Dave Chappelle and Louis CK and Bill Burr and and all these different Comics I'm there's so many of them there's so many comics and so many comedy clubs so many comedy shows and so much on YouTube so much promotions just like this is a great time for stand up I see a lot of really good Open Mic guys coming up I see a lot of good young

guys and younger gals that are coming up I just think this is the best time ever for stand up and I've seen a lot of the Great's live I've seen Kennison live and Hicks live and I've seen Richard Pryor it was you know past his prime but I got to see him live I saw George Carlin live several times no one makes me laugh harder than Joey Diaz I really do believe he's the funniest guy that's ever lived I fucking love this guy like a brother so without any further Ado please welcome one of my favorite people ever Joey Diaz

The Joe Rogan Experience Train by day Joe Rogan podcast by night all day

we're live Kabam stories about we're talking about G Gordon Liddy Shoji going live in this episode of Miami Vice was a sergeant in Vietnam and right when Saigon fell he held on to 300 kilos of pure heroin he took it to the United States and dead bodies this with the episodes about 1986 Miami Vice they bring it to Miami and he sat on it for 20 years until the value and all the way up just like an investment and then he Let it Loose but by that time it had gone

they start killing junkies all up and down the East Coast what a brilliant episode wow so they had to go in and dig for G Going Liddy and this motherfucker shows up right like this board meeting that's when I had to leave the house he shows up to this board and he's like yeah the heroin was mine but by because I guarantee they called him Sergeant real estate and the episode because I guess you guys forget who the hell I am he turns around he goes in his briefcase and he throws a chain of he is on the table he walks out well that's it

that's the Elsa tremendous and this is an eighty what this is 86 to Simpson on Miami this is way before American Gangster was talking about it this is already out that they were bringing Vietnam heroin and dead bodies and that's how the episode starts to reporter takes Don Johnson to the morgue and he opens it up in Vietnam and goes this is your friend stick your hand in there that was just pure heroin that was what they did right that's what they were doing towards the I don't know the beginning that was but it was really the CIA they're blaming it all on some black guy from are

all mm well you know there's a guy named mr. nice I forget what his name is something Banks famous drug dealer when he said was it wasn't the CIA what it was is some people in the CIA he said it's some Cowboys in the CAA and that's what makes the most sense to me like this idea that the the big organization the CIA would be involved in drug smuggling seems like so crazy Joe Rogan it's too many but many has plenty of people there's plenty of people that did do it look leave this plenty of examples like this example right

now this thing called a Silk Road you know about the Silk Road the Silk Road was this underground drug dealing like Network that this guy had created and they were just selling Mad Money Matt Matt drugs like underground and they had they created this thing like it's it's it's a total what it is is it it operates like completely under the wire and these DEA guys I didn't think it was to e they infiltrated it and they got into the Silk Road one of the first things they did they started

stealing money now these guys are in jail they're going to jail right now they're in court right now and they're wondering like whether or not this case is even valid because these guys for sure had access to this guy's account and part of what they were trying to try this guy on is his complicit the he was complicit in the drug selling and there was also some possibility that people were murdered although there was no body there's a lot of kinky shit going on with this and the the kinkiest part is that the agents were stealing money that coins yes there was

stealing hundreds of thousands of dollars in Bitcoin so they realized that there was a lot of value in this like that shit is always gone on I think the reason why you have guys like this that are showing up in the Silk Road case There's Always Been Cowboys but I think there's been good guys too there's been guys who are in the CIA that really did it for America I this guy Michael Baker and I'm pretty good at recognizing bullshit you know he's a longtime CIA operative and he fucking great guy I mean really does seem like he loves America like

I think he's bullshitting I think there's a lot of those guys they get in those positions and they get a group of them together just like they did with Rampart those fucking bad cops they get a group from together go look

what happened whoops pop that out they get together look all these guys are making money right fuck them they're all criminals and scumbags and cunts let's just get some of this money man this is get some of this money come on man you never going to stop these fucking people this is what we do we keep we keep throwing a few of them in jail we do whatever the fuck we gotta do we were the where the gang here we got the law on our side though it's fucking make some money well what I did when I said CIA I should have said that you're absolutely right there was factions like yeah a brown bag like a black

faction that went in after the Marines were going and they shoot everybody and throw cards you know whatever the fuck it was when you have when you're shipping heroin from wherever the fuck that is considered all the way to the United States through three or two different airports and people have to unload them and you have you know whatever people walking through your plane when they first come in you know to inspect them that's a lot of people you gotta grease there has to be somebody huge yeah you know this

me and you getting a boat and going to Colombia and paying some guy with me and Redman and we just shoot across the police scanners and try our best you know the to make to infiltrate to bring in that amount of heroin you have to spend a lot of dough that's where your course come in that's where you set the wholesale no and the retail prices you know years ago at 20 years ago they would they would smuggle it 60 miles in 70 45 50 miles in from the United States around

I mean they would dump it overboard with weights and 12 hours later the boom would explode and the Bales would rise up and you'd come by a fisherman will come by and put the Bales and meanwhile the DEA was looking for that boat that was speeding across on their radar but they would throw you know that's that takes expensive equipment to devise something to throw you you know 50 pounds of cocaine a hundred feet under the water and then 12 hours later wow everything blows and your Coke Rises to the top

and now some guy comes and just picks it up this is brilliant stead so great this is what the jail is really what they did that was one part of the things they tell my girl after a while to beat the federal government you gotta you got and it doesn't listen man what a what the budget is for fighting drugs and what a drug dealer spends a month I'm talking about a guy that's bringing in a thousand kilos a month the powder whether it be heroin or fucking cocaine that's big powder somebody's got to be turning around right and they were flooded

Market when heroin I remember being a little boy in New York and going to visit my godmother of my mother's friends and Sam people everywhere not early New York to me was a fucking this shit that they're what's the show now where people are dead walking around Atlanta walking yeah I saw that growing up I saw that growing up as a kid row where they used to have it in Harlem Spanish Harlem we're all I get rho scarier than all those you know they had people not not the lights people waiting for

the street and they not at the fucking light you know what they don't have though in New York that they have here in La see New York all these cities have buildings there's like these these streets have their whether these people are it's like these are places where other folks go like you got all your homeless people you got you know you're poor people but there's cars that go through those areas and it's you know it's well-traveled like New York Blends more La has these blocks that are just homeless people and when I mean just homeless people

I'm talking thousands like there literally might be a thousand people on this block oh dude you see them oh yeah yeah yeah you make a wrong turn and you get right in the middle of well it's a Michael Jackson video yeah it really is it's insane well in the downtown it is it like spot will they call skid row it's actually says if you go on Google Map and type Skid Row Los Angeles it actually says Skid Row there's a like a mile-long I mean it's a couple blocks long there's a little lie there's a lot of it

there's more than one area there's like one long street but we used to work when we did Fear Factor we used to work in these buildings and these buildings were a lot of them abandoned textile buildings or they were renting amount so we're American Apparel actually has made it's really weird we were in the American Apparel Factory we had to go through the American Apparel Factory to the get to the roof watch them like make their clothes they like they do make them in Downtown LA it's like one of the things they Pride themselves in Jesus fucking Christ Joey Jess but

would go to the top of these hang up on the Jesus Christ you check and see the fuck it is I'm trying to run the sorry that's all right we would go to the top of these buildings and you could you could literally there's areas where you know you could see them like leaking out into the rest of the streets and if you drove down there who draw down the street I'm not bullshitting you would see hundreds hundreds of homeless people just swarming the streets and there's these areas where they have like it's

crazy Joey they have these areas where they have like they give them food or they have you know areas where they can get medical assistance stuff like that and those areas are particularly dense now when I shot NYPD Blue I shot the at a downtown location that's what pool hall kind of sorted and they had tons of homeless people I was standing that hurt people going in talking about how they had day rentals the government would pay for 15 days and they'll be on the street for 15 days look it up just like that but I didn't see that look at that

she like that Advil this is this one seems mild compared to what I saw one was this what year is this

welcome maybe they've cleaned it up a little well it's also during the day I've gone through the night oh you nighttime connects various statistics were people in every city and it's out of proportion in some cities more than others there pause on that for a second Skid Row's near downtown LA 2000 census the population of the district was seventeen thousand seven hundred forty Skid Row is defined as is oh my God what the fuck does that mean does it defined in a decision by Jones

city of Los Angeles the area east of Main Street south of 3rd Street and West of Alameda street so it's kind of like a block it's like an area but that area has 17,000 homeless people is that right that's a goddamn Kevin Hart concert that's like a firing everything that's the Kevin Kevin Hart sold out Madison Square Garden three fucking shows in a row he's a monster Tommy's an all-time high he's had the biggest she's the biggest comedian of all time

Kevin no one's ever been as big as Kevin Hart as far as like popularity no one even close I can't think of one person I think there's a couple guys that like got up to that edge but I think he's toad taking it to a totally different Stratosphere like Dane got pretty far he got on that edge Louise on that edge but Kevin Hart is like routinely doing these crazy Arena shows he's doing 40 thousand plus people her sold 40,000 plus tickets are ready for a show in Philly where he's filming a special dude it's just total Next Level positive energy shit

you go to that kids Instagram page is Instagram is all about like positive like energy like get going to work I'm doing what I love to do them working shows him in the gym put in work in those five cases with people and neighborhoods and shit that they would chase them last week in Boston she never flew into the five fucking que sabemos the reality show yeah he's got a cartoon he's Mna never stops got his online underwear I do whatever the fuck he wants he's an animal it would suck keep going in those concerts though and being like the back that

it cannot be enjoyable here in my screens huge screens and the way they acoustically set up these things used to be a problem like I told you that I used to work at Great Woods this is kind of a funny story because it was during a Bill Cosby Show that there was an issue there Bill Cosby and there was a Rodney Dangerfield show the same issue and the issue was the way Great Woods of setup it's an Amphitheatre so you're indoors and part of it and part of it is outdoors

back of it leads out to this like lawn area at least it did when I worked there and so you can hear if you were Under The Canopy there was like an acoustic canopy above all the seats in the front but then the back there was no seats so it's like you had monsters behind you so you trying to watch a show like there was one big fight I think I want to say was I was Judas Priest was a Judas Priest No Jethro Tull it was Jethro Tull there's a Jethro tall concert and there was a fucking

mad Riot because people started lighting fires up in the hood up in the grass area they were just lighting fires and there was not enough of us to sort of like control at all because it was getting really fucking crazy so I put my security jacket I put a hoodie on over my security jacket zipped it up through the hood over my head and said fuck this job and I just quit I was like you can't pay me nine bucks an hour to get killed because this is this is fucking Madness I saw fistfights my friend Larry who's like one of the nicest guys

World punch some guy and I was like I'm fucking that if Larry's hitting people Larry's like the sweetest of sweethearts and I'm like this guy's hitting people I am God this is a Madness in the air I got to get the fuck out of here I got pissed off in a gentle tug constitute because he breaks out the flute you got fucking once he breaks out the flute you like what the fuck is this people from the East Coast we don't like flu shots like we don't like flutes my point was in the back area the green the green grass area you couldn't hear the words you don't

and what the fuck it was it was all Echoes it was all blah blah blah blah blah like people were pissed they go I don't know what the fuck he's saying and Ronnie was killing two and so was kind of becomes was killed we would just Jamie and I were talking about Red Rocks if you've been to Red Rocks you get so impressed with the sound you like to cheat and I went like an 80 something and then I went like a 90 something and it was like being indoors that's amazing Fiddler's Green which is a little smaller I think on the other side of Denver they had an issue

there but now even the Hollywood ball Jesus look around just in the middle of a people were there what's the popular not too many I think I don't think that's insane look how beautiful you do stand up there and you ever do they do it they do it there yeah somebody did Brody Roy doing asset yeah some is doing like a movie night we would like host and do some comedy yeah Brody did God Bureau didn't get paid for that one that was one that Brody didn't get paid for they fucked him out

no he wasn't I think so well we were retweeting it yeah he's like the sorry that's probably got my money for contact number three or whatever listen what they did was crazy they do is crazy he had a two shows one was in a small theater and one was in this big theater was doing a show in the small theater and they go would you like to do a show in the big theater so he goes yeah sure thinking he's gonna get paid they asked him do you want to work he put his name on the bill like you show he tweeted pictures of the lineup they had his name in the lineup it wasn't like a guess

set or anything like that it was a guy that had scheduled on the show and nobody wants to go up first you don't want to go up first in front of fucking 15,000 people you want to get the crowd warmed up first Brody had to go up there and do the hardest spot of the night was second hardest by the night the hardest by the noise like Fallen someone who crushes I'll give you going on after Diaz that's the hardest part of the night but any but the second hardest part of the hardest part of the night is the first guy the first guy this first couple minutes is kind of like a throwaway you got to kind of get everybody loose get everybody feeling good

and then boom hit him into the material has got to have very few bumps in it because you're trying to hypnotize these fuckers so like the early material has got to be like real smooth the more herky-jerky the earlier stuff is less likely to trust you you motherfucker you can't even get me in a goddamn trance slipping up your words you know but if you go out there just smooth style and just walk right into it and really know what the fuck you're doing to get things started you you you forget about that I forgot about that eye open for Callen when he was doing his

VD and I also just opened its first time I had done that in forever I was like oh this is interesting this is like a different kind of got to get everybody you feel it you feel like they're not quite there yet you got to kind of like massage and for and then then you start the fucking Crank It Up and make them keep up you know but it's a did definitely a different thing in the slalom down suck them in and then yeah and I did that the storytelling show and you know everybody talks about suicide I had a kid that grew up with Steve Mancini and one day

he just said fuck it he went to Carvel he walked through Suicide Bridge he ate his son that he took his glasses off he put him down he jumped and that was it they'll leave a note nothing he was always a little fucking crazy every time you saw him he was quoting albums and shit like it's rolling thunder firing range so you know he was Disturbed somewhere along the line but nobody gave a fuck like even today when I go home like a Wham the Steep Mansion fuck him he jumped he committed suicide times have changed people give a fuck

will you kill yourself oh he was just hurting Soul 20 years ago you kill yourself fuck that motherfucker he's in limbo isn't that funny because it was more like back then like that fucking you're an idiot you know back then like you that's it you will forgot you did they have no Mass fear right when you watch yourself you can't get Mast then the traffic charges right you can't get messed up when you die they bury you don't go to hell I haven't you literally limbo you floating around with other people carrying a rope we never heard about like mental illness when I was a kid

no heard about completely crazy people that were locked in an asylum but the idea of like your aunt taking pills because she's bipolar like what are you talking to me call her because accepted and everyone did you know I was like oh yeah we used to take volume and well I think it's the opposite I think you just get used to people being fucking crazy you know you didn't feel like you had to medicate them you know I think people were way more crazy in the 60s and 70s I do Johnny read that tried to kill himself but he jumped off a building it landed in a dumpster right yeah

oh my God how bad is he broken fucked up fucked up and he don't throw punches until yeah John Leary was a trip was an actress

and he got a check from the government and he gave it to my bartender on the first that's what people thought but he lived like he banged his head on the dumpster mine and he fucking over dog he lived and he give his chick from the government on the first of the bartender and he torment the bartender to that check was done and they throw him out for the first and they would last all about the 18th and 19th when I was a kid I used to torment Johnny Reed he gone to the you know on the East Coast you like the bathroom from the yeah

what the fuck you say you like the bad person the outside of these Coast when you leave a bar at night when they close up right they locked the bathroom then they put like a lock bolts if you break in they can't he would go in the bathroom Johnny really 11 o'clock in the morning 2:00 p.m. we lock them in then we leave them in there till like 6:00 o'clock at night we come back to have a drink we'd open the bathroom and he come out like nothing I swear to God like nothing happened he was hilarious I'm the one that put my dick on a chair next to him he

he was sitting on a Barstool my friends like put your dick see what happens he's like wow and he just got up talk Johnny relived like maybe 12 years ago we see them bumps a Coke and get them riled up at the barn they just leave fuck you motherfuckers I'll fight all these three just fucking leave hilarious anyway did you ever have a girl you dated kill herself

no they should I put that fucking helmet gratitude for many a fucking dick in it he should kill yourself he should kill yourself the first time and when you get to your destination kill yourself once you get up to heaven I'm not forgiving me we're all your ex Girls still alive both of youse well what was going to bring that was like one girl that I knew she didn't kill herself

but she kind of did but it was with drugs but she wasn't ever a girlfriend she was a girl I knew when I was young when I hung out with her again we were like adults but not much you know we talked on the phone every now and then she was fucked up she was some some form opiates and I don't know the whole story but she's sweet girl it was a real bummer is really depressing when you hear about shit like that it's like wow that's so depressing you know it's it's so

depressing when someone just can't keep a hold on it or just gets caught up in a spell and then the life just Slips Away I know more than I mean more than I like I know quite a few people have a real problem with those goddamn pills especially those pills he's there so fucking available Joey they'll stare so available to give me you hurt you got a boo-boo you got a boo-boo here man become a fucking angel take this go off into lala land meh

into your pillow and float away in a cloud of love go ahead and Oogie gonna have to get off that if you want your life and they give these people these pills and you tell him hey man you got a few weeks off of work you know you hurt your back had to get surgery and you'll start popping these fuckers watching TV and next thing you know doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo-doo-doo new that's your life your life is at the fucking shop you know shop is goddamn super athlete Brendan Chomps his big

Guerrilla UFC fighter pretty straight edge dude pretty clean-cut dude four months in he's taking these fucking pills and his friends have to tell him what do you got to stop his friends had to take his pills from him they fucking get you dude yeah I know a girl that's going through it she buys a viking and like like like I was talking to the owners yeah she has she gets Viking in any Downer and then it's weird because then she can't sleep at night so it's her all pilled up just talking like on

mine and like on Periscope and shit you're just like what the fuck it's weird watching strangers on Periscope also just you know late night how long before somebody kills himself on Periscope I think it's already probably happened probably right you know it's crazy I had a girlfriend in the eighth grade I really dug I met her she was a cheerleader pretty cute this is fucked up and Irish check just red hair I'll just tugging you know we'd hold hands and eat a slice of pizza after the

basketball game with the movies we maybe swap spit one day we're talking about dry humping whatever the fuck am I doing went back to the house I don't forget this I was dating like maybe two or three months

just on the weekends and I'd walk down to Union City and one day I asked I said what time your parents got home she was on my dad gets home at 5 and my mom is dead and I was like 12 or 13 John my head almost exploded I was like what the fuck are you talking about

she took my mom died at childbirth I was like I couldn't even make out with her after I couldn't do anything I was just I just remember going home and going I can't see this girl I mean wow what the fuck how come you couldn't see I just I could that Gordon had never entered my mind so it's just too sad for it was to was to mind-boggling like not having a mom so I called her up one day and I stopped dating her and I started dating this other Irish chicken I never thought about her

you know I know she was mad and then my mother died and I was like that's the first person I thought it was this poor girl like I knew what she fucking felt like now I never I could never imagine that pain when I was dating her when she told me what are you fucking talking about you most mom dies who's fucking mom dies that's the worst thing I've had I think one of my girlfriend's died one of the girls I dated early on died about two years ago I'm still friends with her brother we didn't really need a wee

we messed around a little bit she was fucking crazy and she ended up dying from pills and booze nobody really know shall we started off with guns and then we went to death oh yeah my girlfriend's killed themselves aren't there anymore it's a weird thing because they just vanish they just don't exist anymore and it's a sadness that it's just so it's so forever you know I mean

friend Johnny is who was my best friend for a long time so great God I fucking love that dude couldn't wait to see him every time I go to the east coast we'd hang out flew him up here and I want to film up here he was detoxing same thing pills he's an ox he's and he was into he was in heroin like strong shit you know he likes strong opiates towards the end and took a few days for him to get off of it and then

then we could go around and hang out we just at my house just sweating from like four or five days and when he died man I remember thinking like I can't believe I'll never talk to that dude again I can't believe like he was like

there's one of the things about Johnny is like he had this like real clear view what the fuck is going on like he was he had his life might have been chaotic as far as drugs but he knew exactly what everybody was up to he knew he just knew he was a very smart dude I'm very good at reading people I need to see like he's like looking around shit when I met you that was the first thing that I noticed when I met when I met you it's like there's all these people that were

scare you who's so weird there's all these people that were like nervous around you you know they thought like Joey Diaz a bad guy like this is like late 90s or whatever it was when we first met and I was like you're out of your fucking mind like this guy's great youyou seem to me to be a lot like him and you the only to you and him the only two like real original humans I've ever met or I can't I don't know anybody else like you and I didn't know anybody else like him just completely original

Anil characters it was one of the first things that I really liked about you

because we met like was like 95 or some shit like was it seven was a 97 at this point I was still on Newsradio so it was only so they would have spent two years in the news radio and having those kind of friends whose phone is that your Joey how dare you

it's it's you know friends like that so important in your life friends who need people to clear you up from time to time that's why I call home every morning I got four or five different guys that whenever I talk to they say I talk to them and everything gets nice and smooth that yeah every more them to one of the other yeah and right now it's really weird because now I have two friends I haven't spoken to in 20 years when I went on the on the lam to Sarasota that kid hit me up on a man because I need to talk to you

and him and I when I went back to New Jersey one of those kids who was in Cyrus oh you know what there is to do in Sarasota 1982 nothing so when I went down and he was all excited he's got a partner you know the thing about him is he was shooting fucking deck and his biceps I mean seriously he was shooting him in the shoulder caps and his traps he was not sure he was God you know the saying he was just a balloon and it happened he was eating he was eating what's the German 5 milligram the shit that just puts not

not that the problem he was eating that gorilla shit where guaranteed to gain deck are not that kabaddi ball Tebow it's Diana banana drawl and Dianabol this is 1982 people so her name's Morgan yeah if you want to look like a fucking so everything on them was you he was popping those Diana balls he was supposed to eat three a day he was eating like a today like he was eating a double prescription bottle and then blast it off the fucking shit in his for I mean is he

huge I love them though I got him so when I left he always got mad at me he called me man he hit me up on Iman my website real all them back by the what's up dawg I took me a couple days when I don't want to hear this shit he goes hey man my dad died he goes I gotta tell you something I think about you everyday cuz I can't imagine how you were among the shit at 16 then my other buddy died his mom died about a month ago I sent flowers and he keeps calling me every morning going God I don't know how to fuck you did it at 16 I got the most respect for you in the world

now I'm paying them back wow for them taking care of me when I was younger did turned around I miss my death buddies bro I'd miss Ray go like that crazy dude the bodybuilder that was fucking you know we would take them to bars and we say Ray go get on top of the fucking stage and pose who goes to a bottle he didn't give a fuck and I take him to the UFC bar will get up that this is the guy that you told me that was doing a line while his mother shot already beat this is he's doing a line in front of his mother

while I was on the phone or his mother shot steroids in his ass while he was doing like oh he's talking on the phone at the same time this is brilliant come on tell me that wouldn't be like one of the most hilarious scenes and we talked about he comes to my shows daily basis of comes to my show you still alive listen to the podcast yeah that guy make it he just put a shot picture him on Twitter dressed and fucking full Army regalia with like fucking five generals behind them him 19 years old I was a soldier of the year in the Army doll

why he was doing this this and this at the same time because he could do that that's how crazy like he was a soldier of the year they were doing exercises and fucking Beirut and four guys in a wrap in the rap tipped over these saved all four of them what I made him the soldier the fucking he went to the White House two years later they discharge them and he was selling blow on the fucking how fucking crazy is that they were dishonorably discharged him for running a gambling operation in the fucking North Carolina where they just

station but this other ask you this I'm sorry no no this other kid I showed you the crazy one that he won like mr. New Jersey Darren I miss him every morning he was a guy that died young from steroids he died from you know everything he had everything he had hepatitis C oh Jesus some Sharon Needles well if we were he was already shooting High School by really buying something by the march of 82 he was already coming to my house lat

talk to your dog I gotta talk to you man like that's the first person who ever ever sat me down he's like listen let me tell you he was coked out we were both doing coke it was like a secret inside his heart as I got to tell you something man he took off his shirt and start doing push-ups like somebody just starts doing 50 pushups in front of like what the fuck's going on he got up and started flexing I'm like what are you doing and he goes I go to this person's house and they were gay and 82

these two guys were gay but he grew up with them he remained friends with him and he didn't care they were gay nobody knew so they were Shannon vitamin B shots whoo and there is Sharon Deca no good ever comes out and we were sharing a needle right now but you know what I mean nobody saves 29 cents nobody nobody fucking I know that's like you know I listen man when you're at that level of a guy and that type of Jim situation think about you and I have never been that guy

but they're guys that you know people smoke a joint and Rocky the other day I'm watching the beginning a rocky goes to the corners 18 guys sharing a wine bottle and he takes the wine Bali takes a sip of it I'm thinking to myself that's fucking the flu but in those days in those days you had to do that to be part of a guy you in a gym you all yoked up you're 5 foot 10 your 240 pounds red bands shoots decker right back give me the fucking thing you know I just take it from him and stick it into my game

game but I could see it yeah I could see it that's the bomb me and you on the street with thieves were living in skid row with thieves you and me everything we fucking take we split down the middle what do you think's going to happen after a year sounds you know that he's my brother oh this is my could see two guys shooting a needle me and you yeah we're and not in that world and red band will I go

you know but just some guys don't look at my bicep dude what's that guy that said what's through the imperson my favorite impersonation you do the guy in Boston that would he give you night-night time with the jab member the guy in Boston the southeast this guy you know oh Joe Lake I hate you I hate you with my left this night-night time I know doing high school that was doing steroids yeah he was enormous he was so much bigger than everybody else it was crazy he came from another school when we were like I think I was a

I guess I was like a freshman and he was like he came in as a sophomore he's like a year older than me and he was just high and with these crazy stretch marks we're talking about a 16 year old kid 17 year old kid massive stretch marks all over his chest with these watermelon tits he just had watermelon tits a giant fucking giant arms mean literally the guy would walk his arms like you know guys fake that

this is a really how you stood me just seems massively muscular and he went to a party One Night in college there was these college kids and some college kids mouth off to him he knocked out three college kids he was like a bull who just charged at people and punch them he was so Juiced up he was always angry like everywhere you if you like looked at him like you wanted to be like real nice to him it was like being around a crazy like frothing at the mouth gorilla

then I saw him years two years later like not that many years like I was like 21 so he was probably like 22 and he weighed a hundred sixty pounds I was like what the fuck happened what happens just got off the stuff he just got off of it and his body became like a normal-size butt but you lose all your fluid or you lose your muscle also but he was never it's a he's a weird guy like he didn't have big hands he wasn't like some Earnie Shavers dude or a or like a you know it just a big like you or your big fucking thick guy

he wasn't the Earth smaller hands it was just it was all steroids he just taking this thing and changed like the amount of muscle that his body would carry around is just way more it was real weird I didn't know what the fuck he was doing until after I was out of high school I had no idea what was going on I just thought he was just a big strong guy like I wasn't in weightlifting I didn't play football and in Taekwondo we didn't do any weight lifting like no we did like some calisthenics but there was no weightlifting at all so I did

no idea like what the fuck was going on with this dude's body but seeing him when I was 21 and seeing him like just like this deflated person is like this is the weirdest shit I've ever seen in my life but back then no one knew what the fuck it was we're talking about like 1988 was when I was 21 I didn't know what that meant I didn't understand how he got smaller like it didn't make any sense to me like I didn't know anybody that was a bodybuilder or anything so it's just weird I was just weird to see him small and then as I got older and start talking

two people especially when I was working at it was working at a Gold's Gym or Nautilus Plus that's what it was not always Plus in Revere and I knew this dude in there who was a he was a bodybuilder and he kind of schooled me on some of it I go because he was huge and I go do you take steroids and he goes dude fucking look at me what do you think of course I fucking take steroids he was the first guy I ever met was like super open about it he had these like he would wear like those daisy duke shorts back then bodybuilder

where those daisy duke shorts this kid have these fucking giant tan legs they were enormous

tanned let he was fucking huge up that look comes back male Daisy Dukes I've been coming back for girls so over do you think there is certain clothes like that that will never come back like a lot of times bell-bottoms I could see Baobab they tried they tried the people realized stupid-looking Iraq them yeah you know what it worked back when people add long collars see that's the difference if you want to have those long collars that they had in the 60s you know like those those crazy jackets that you see like Jefferson Starship in

those and then you had platforms people were wearing platform shoes remember those so like those all worked with the bell bottom right but you get to like flip flops and bell-bottoms flip-flops are not there it gets annoying you're stepping on your bell-bottoms the goofy the get in the way you need stilts you know what's really sad about juicing that people that juice for what do you call Aesthetics hmm not because they're athletic yes the further look it always

ends up very bad because and I was around and I grew up around it becomes instead of snorting coke and drinking they go to steroids like that like the other the wrestlers on and there's one particular recipe and he goes to cop did you see what he copped I didn't see that movie okay this apartment he cops to the gym and he's copying fucking shit that they gave Nazis like you know Deca d-ball dish that and you can tell it's like 2,000 bucks and I was when you got right now he goes 500 years

you give me a restaurant it was a bag right if you know that world you know that for him that's a six-week Supply that's a year Supply then when he has his heart attack in the movie the doctor tells him he could borrow the fuck he put anybody the say you fucking kidding me it's a slow death because it becomes an addiction I saw it I saw it yeah go from once every six weeks to four Cycles a year to fuck I ain't getting off it to fuck it I'm gonna die

super stack they call it stacking when they and next thing you know you're taking fucking for things and you're not competing you just go to a bar on Friday nights I never got that in my head I never got that and it always ends bad you see those guys a year later they have a heart attack they get deflated as some happens and they go to prison and then they can't do it they come on and you ask them what their tattoos all fucked up now it's always ends bad yeah I knew a guy who died yes it always and people

and I watched that documentary and I Canta he contacted each other by talking the stereo one that doesn't harm you and I believe driving fast yeah I believe that but I also believe that I saw you know you look at these guys down to Jersey Shore right you look at these guys in the jerseys they all got that little bicep when they got time to go to the gym they do six curls they threw a fucking out of all that go suntan they rub number fucking SPF number two and that's the result you get and they do sit-ups that's

exactly what they do and they do diamond push-ups

and they blow up for the summer and then they like it from Tonya was part of that crew my friends I remember the chat at driving back from the shore on Sundays out they couldn't wait to get home because it was the second rest day and today was going to be the biggest day I'm thinking of going home taking a shower and going out because I'm huge huge delay it's Sunday is my second one then the anniversary subtle getting bigger yeah II during day Sunday you're the biggest that's so these guys on the way home

touch my all day I'm gonna get some pussy tonight my veins look at my bicep from just driving

fucking hilarious it becomes something else man I think it's like I think it's like alcohol like you could drink alcohol you could just have a cap of a beer a night you could have a couple of glasses of wine with dinner or you could be that motherfucker that just gets hammered all day every day and we all know that person we all have met a bunch of those people some people just get addicted to shit day drinkers the oh man there's a lot of those out there especially in the entertainment business and then we can do whatever the fuck you want no

tell you what to do nobody tells you what to do that's why you're on Periscope all day it's awesome people that I think that do cocaine right that that have an addiction to cocaine drink all day because they can even their self out supposedly some people that do you know I've never done it but people that have done like a lot of it will tell you that there was there was want to have something to calm them down afterwards and take the edge off of it I didn't snore in the daytime I wasn't a fucking vampire I started at night it was fuck my whole day up if I even did it

line sometimes he I wanted to have the coke ready at 8 o'clock but sometimes I got to give own and have the 60 bucks early in the day time and I shoot over what you got bone a fucking slob I go over there and take the 60 have to hide it in my jacket I have to sit there for hours and just coking my jacket calling me in the afternoon so I would do a little bump and then get paranoid and jerk off and remember fuck up my timing at night it was fucked up my whole day so I wouldn't do it in the daytime I was always a nighttime guy so if you did Coke during the day would fuck up

set everything it fucked up everything the rest of my day my my timing because my my my soul was intact with my central nervous system they were apart now it's apart when you do blowing you go on stage that's why I never understood that concept it always made me laugh when people go oh you funny cuz you do Coke and go on stage okay okay you fucking dummy I would freeze up I freeze up I can't talk to people and I did blow that's why I want in my fucking room and hit and fucking turn the

oh no he think I did that because I couldn't talk to people don't know what the fuck you're talking about isn't Coke make you talk though it doesn't work that doesn't want to start when it started you Chatty Cathy you want to talk to everybody and shit yeah but let me tell you something I started doing coke like in the 80s and I got on stage in 91 for the first time and in 92 when I got on stage with the guys from Denver to the Saint Patty show and right there was the first time I discovered cocaine in the stage at the boulder broker I did too

bumps and tried to go on stage and be cute that shit didn't work I thought Richard Pryor That I think that's Richard Pryor that he did Coke and when I say so I tried it I didn't work that was a kaput this is anybody known to do Coke and go onstage fuck yeah fuck yeah a lot of people do coconut oil instead of Miami I would do the first two shows sober but the third show it takes a bull that coke in my pocket for four hours enough is enough enough is enough see you do before the third yeah because I didn't come to work

because you're terrible terrible terrible terrible I didn't care am I giving for they knew I was coked up wow so they knew the people who were coked up new and they loved the look at him he's gonna I thought it was cute to strike I went back to my room got fucked up and no it doesn't never clicked to me who I can anybody don't as a motherfucker and going stayed Red Band you miss Friday night I know I heard about this you heard Friday night how I fucking almost had a nervous breakdown he kind of did he tell you

that was very and I almost had to remember when you and your wife were asking me questions and I was fidgety I was having a nervous breakdown right you think I'm fucking with you guys though I don't know what happened me Friday night I bomb so hard last week you know sometimes you get a transition period you got all these bits that are already and you bring them up and it's like you got three of them so you bomb for two weeks but all of a sudden one night they all come together now you become a Force now it's a different game I was in that process like two weeks I was in limbo a good section boy

Austin but anything I tried out of the ordinary in Boston wasn't clicking for me so I just stuck to the fucking original and then I came back to the comments so I ate shit somewhere on Monday night I went to The Comedy Store Thursday opened up with a suicide joke that didn't take me very far and then the second time I told the story about my friend who tried to commit suicide she failed and she wanted to economy store and she bought a gram of coke from chewy and as we were doing it I said you know how did you get out of the crazy house did you try to kill yourself

three days ago and there was a big gram it was one big line she did the whole thing she looked at me and she goes I ain't crazy they let me out

that was it I told that story that one got some last-minute one of them here in your rate in the main room and I just died I had to follow the leader I just died I just died a slow death I was trying new stuff I wasn't going nowhere I want to talk about Trump and I just died so Friday I went to the store and I swear to God guys I didn't eat nothing all that smoke some pot I worked that I went to the why I'd the chest and the other thing I smoked dope before I left the house

it was a little brownie a 70 milligrams brownie I have like maybe thirteen cards left for the day I was fucking stole this little body is right there was a half a pack of an anarchy edible they give you two brownies each at each brownie is 70 mg that's so crazy I rub my scary I rub my balls a 70 milligrams you understand me 70 milligrams per Uncle Joey is like a nap but that's like an aperitif it's not even a fuck laughs applies to the rest of the world 70 milligrams

as a put you into a fucking hole you know I gave you a five hundred last night he few edible did you hear that rope chain song down at all oh my god listen to me though we split it at three o'clock in the afternoon oh my God we trying to prove my seven o'clock I was so fucked up by eight o'clock and you know usually when you

eat your tame animal yeah fuck though this turned on me this animal turn out like a Savage even beat me the submissions at one point I had the cheese Doodles that belongs to the baby pirate booty yeah they were on the floor they were just coming out of my face I was just offering I was just stuff with Pirates Booty in my face and a pair there was a bunch of fruit and Pirate's Booty I couldn't stop kept eating beaches of pirates

Pirates Booty Cal open Pirate's Booty I must State the whole baby my wife is like because I had my back turned to them so they couldn't see me

my wife at what the fuck are you doing in there listen I gotta go to bed she goes go to bed already I went to a 45 I slept or for I got up I didn't know where I was I just lay there for 30 minutes like Mad Max I just laid them compute C well killing 4 in the morning in the way you were so low for 30 I woke up with a ton of energy energy I wanted to show how I wash the car I would put breakfast I'm going to wash the car my wife had the other bucket are stains all right okay

oh my God I was fucked up and I kept calling lie and say only if the cops call you don't answer the phone he goes why are the cops gonna call my God I'm not become a so funny just had to happen to you again though you ate too much at the comedy but last night no last night in have anxiety guys is what I'm saying T 70 milligrams ain't Pickin my world okay flight 7 milligrams I gold on Laurel Canyon I hope they're right I go to the converse do I pull up no drama I get in Joe's upstairs

as I don't even go upstairs and other room is packed I can't go upstairs so I'm alone at The Comedy Store I won't to the original image back I walk around in a black going to the VIP patio and I just sit there some to to listen to music some black dude was smoking a joint I mind my business I look straight ahead I'm thinking about more material I'm going to say how I bombed it's just whipping me now right and I'm starting to get scared I'm like I'm going to say stuff just comes over the mini goes Joey Go on stage I walk over as I walk up to

stairs it's a sold-out room Meghan Mooney Morgan Morgan Murphy's up on stage fucking that I don't know what a fucking baby and she was texting her right now she was fucking killing right she's killing Mega move from whatever fucking lame Morgan Murphy brought the dog up she was freaking me out that she's killing on stage I walk up to the first landing guys and it hits me

it's like oh my God I'm getting anxiety attack on 70 milligrams not not this can't be happening to me this ain't happening and also I'm standing there and it's getting worse guys it's getting worse now there's one seat open at the whole Comedy Store this mitzi's chair so I sit in there for about a minute she's got the blue light on the pressures aren't I got water in my hand I get back up and it's getting worse guys I turn around I looked down to where the Payphone used to be and now I'm getting the anxiety I get

I'm getting the needle which means I'm going down so I gotta look for daylight or are I know this I look for are but I know if I go down those stairs if she calls my name and I come back up those stairs I'm really gonna have an anxiety attack so I go to the corner and I just start looking at the wall and I start breathing through my nose and some guy comes up and he's like hey Joey how you doing man what's going on I go nothing like keep looking at the wall he know he gets to hit the walk away then some other guy pops out he's like hey Joey I'm friends with such

it says here he do he goes do you know where he is I don't give a fuck what you see me staring at a fucking walk it just comes up to me and I will Jeff hold on one second Channel I'm gonna faint I got a really bad anxiety attack I'm going down here tell Paulie to go on stage and Jeff also wants to ask me questions he's like do you know if Paul he's going to go up on stage and I don't give a fuck he's the closest person to the fucking stage she's about to call my name

I don't think it will let me go ask him to fucking go ask him the fuck I'm about to fucking faint now you gonna do this to me so he walks over to Paul and he starts asking Paul and Paul he's like and now they're getting it's like a conversation about instead of polygons he's got an anxiety attack let me go up there I'm watching this go down I get so angry I go fucking guys I'm gonna go with it Polly say who the fuck knows what he said but instead of going to go if I tell you were with that go up Red Bank go up go up Red Band I gotta make xiety you go go okay Joey I don't worry about you later you

yeah just go know these guys have the conversation bureaucracy I got so fucking angry that I go fuck you guys I'm gonna go up and I went up there Joe wrote the set of my life off of fear fear I think I caught myself at the 14-minute Mark White I just yell did you record it no why would I do something like that you know I'm a fucking retard I fucking went up there and mr. I know you know you never hear me talking like this yeah all I'm fear

and I remember walking out of there man I got in that car and Pauly goes man you should have anxiety attacks more often should I was like man I was fucking dying I like how you have mitzi's voice when you do the impression of Paul that's the same voice you do when you do Mitzi like all the shores share one Joey Diaz voice Joe have you ever had that where you were just like either to Stone or so you just didn't feel good and you're about to go on stage he almost couldn't you

almost don't think you could have done it no I mean I know what you're saying I never know I've never gotten it but I don't I don't I won't take that kind of edible before I go on stage I fucked up and gotten too high before I went onstage but never so high where I'm like I can't do this I can't do that I'm having an anxiety attack no but I've been higher I've been higher and that hasn't happened to me sometimes it's just catches you right time especially if you have a rough set if you had a rough set the night before if you working on some new stuff and it doesn't go over right you can't recover I mean we've

been there if you haven't been there it's just because you haven't taken their chances I've been there everybody I'm there well it's everybody that were all the time yeah just but it's like those moments after that are shaky like you know it's a shaky one or two days you know sometimes sometimes it's not like sometimes it makes sense and is a reason you could just get right back into it but sometimes there's like a little shaky period so the shaky period That's 70 milligrams is enough to whack you you did too 70s though I did once $0.01 hype the other 70 was from a couple nights early just that

at first the fucking general public 70 will fucking send you down a tornado of Despair to the bottom pits of your soul Justin Justin oh don't try to do what he's doing like I won't I don't fuck around man with anything more than like 30 do you think that that even matters what it is though really that I do you think it's that accurate where 70 is even ballpark 70 or maybe he just got something that had 600 in because it was like the bottom of the barrel Well you certainly can you know that bit

do a better about the guys who make that stuff yeah it hasn't gotten any better like a glacier Colorado they have it down to a science they're doing in Colorado the way they would make regular cookies like if you buy like some bit you know like Nabisco Chips Ahoy or some shit like that they do them like a factory there's not much difference in the way they making some of these cookies they haven't like these big machines and they have all these people working there it's pretty fucking down to a science they're not just you know throwing their own ingredients in and home

home cooking all this stuff they're making a lot of money they have this like one of those news reports shows forget which one on 60 Minutes was it 60 Minutes they went to Denver and they participated they got high they got high in a fucking limo with these people and they they went around to all these different places and watch these people make these things that plate that there's a Revolution going on in Denver like it's so off the charts there it's so crazy there the like you watching

thing on television it just starts to sink in like they're changing the whole culture around that town like the whole culture is going to slowly chill out they're violent crime rate is so low now they're fucking drunk driving rates are the lowest they've ever had it's nuts it's changing everything it's only been a year or two like how many years has it been since it's been legal what's the official be to use and to is it going to Jamie fight it find out when the law went through but in

Oregon they're going to have will lead to weed tax-free Oregon's taking it to a totally new level well Washington just I just thought read a report that Washington had like I think 70 million dollars their first year of tax revenue so that seems like a lot of money just to that's a lot throw away I agree with you I think the taxes that the the Colorado and poses which are really high I think those are great yeah I agree because it's still better than going drinking if you go drinking okay if we have a few drinks

like if I go and get our surround and all four of us went out drinking and I look just get shots in the beer and that's like a hundred bucks right all together then you got a tip the guy that all like 200 bucks for the weed Jesus Christ we the four of us with 200 bucks worth of weed would be fucked for a month then we could take home some yeah $200 that's a lot of weed especially if you're buying Edibles oh my God you could almost died on $200 worth of weed edibles and

if you ate them all what's happening last year beginning of last year didn't okay so they 2012 voted at the end of 2012 and started at the beginning of 2014 well oh I see I see so there's a there's a that is delay that is one of the I gotta be honest with you that is one of the funnest four days you have as a comic is that Denver run oh Denver's and especially if you stay downtown because you eat at Sam's that motherfucking green chili for breakfast with those two eggs and some wheat toast and a bowl of fruit God damn

oh my God I would like you to talk about the crowds no oh no that's part of it you got the weed store and you got the comedy work I mean it's like a three is that you can't lose for three days ago the gym you cannot lose it's a triple fucking head of the were little we'd store they got they think about you you on the recreational side they have some strong stuff but yeah it's a great spot it's a great little weeds one of my favorite places I like that's one of the few places I would live besides here I'll tell you what you made me laugh because I thought about something I'd been you know

what pill when I was growing up had a lot of mistakes with them what pill like if they made a hundred of them ten of them would always be done quite looks really kind of them were always does show with a dunce because it was corruption know it would Dodge because the guy who was making them his his floor was lopsided put them in the oven who the fuck knows he was lopsided you know like right now this table feels so the chemicals go down

yeah so like for every hundred the most ridiculous idea hologram pills ever right-clicking the clean tables are lopsided so let's just say the power goes to this side so you need 10 biscuits and nothing would happen and people go oh my God I got a dud that means the next one's gonna be good that was the philosophy around the but that's a different philosophy to it what if Cosby gave one of those Duds to one of his freaks did you see yes

and it was a dud he's dropping his big black dick waiting on them pills to hit her and shit and that's a great bit that's it what do you think that like he could get laid he can have probably almost any of the girls he wanted to drug anyways probably why did you think he did that it's part of the stem it's part of his free I mean we could speculate all day long but obviously he's sick right obviously but we kind of knew that anyway

not did you sick to the extent that he is but that he's got his like creepy arrogance about him and you know we played that clip once or Wanda Sykes who is like the sweetest person in the world was interviewing him and and the way she was talking to him I guess like he didn't like it so he let corrected her he corrected her you know her use of ebonics or what-have-you drama queen kind of just not a nice guy just not a nice guy and he

wearing sunglasses like he's just you know when you're indoors you wearing sunglasses like unless you got glaucoma what the fuck you doing like what are you doing why do you have sunglasses on unless you black you get away with it Floyd Mayweather with sunglasses whatever the fuck he wants as far as I'm concerned he can wear sunglasses anywhere once but you know it's like those anyone who does that like yeah I mean it's just weird because I can see where it like a normal person would drug it because just to get laid it just seems like

you know how you're built fucking Cosby like creep did he like the girl just being passed out like it's dry he likes dry sex or something he might he might like to be the God he might like to be totally in control of their life who might like the idea that that he tricked them and they now they have to do his bidding while they're completely unconscious I don't know how unconscious they are may be there in like a halfway dream land where you could talk him into doing stuff you know like lift your legs up and then just do it and they just don't remember it might just be so

don't understand that talk to you gentlemen there's four of us in this room we're all men here how many years have had an experience I mean maybe fucking red bad behind me is a vendor's friends who you brought a woman to your room and nothing happened look me in the eye and tell me the truth how it happened okay so if that's that's what let's just with for gentleman here let's be honest so we're at 80% if you bring a woman to your hotel room 8 out of 10 times you're going to fucking guys tell me the truth we just guys think

if you're a pole it depends had a can probably read ban you're a nice guy you bring them over to get high and they get naked for him but build those nipples talking about you know okay well you're a nice guy I have some time you know what happens entirely on the individual on the internet when your guy like Bill Cosby he's a superstar multi multi-millionaire women are gonna go to his room without sucking his dick let's be honest not a whole lot of them all of them I'm gonna go into that room whether they're married or half of those

bitch has got a different story also okay he drugged you because you were alone with him in the fucking room he had plans I'm not blaming them but when he is gentle men here with men you know when you go into a man's hotel room while his trailer you know what the fuck so he had time to put a pill in to your thing he's a dirty motherfucker let's get that out of the way because he enjoys that faint woman that woman that's have dead and you and that's what he enjoys that's his

wreak some people still bodies from cemeteries some people want to get jerked off with their feet that was his free I had a friend who was after a while I was doing laundry and he said there was a jerk him off his feet because he was scared of him so he just haven't checked them off of his feet like all their feet with their feet yeah I would do that either that's just as worse hooker feet hook a dirty feet concrete sperm that shit don't mix but let's face it heal he took those women to his room and he Bravo has a real interesting take on this here real good

can this and there was another guy that got charged for with Cee-Lo Green guy was giving girls ecstasy or something like that yes see you later grandmas getting Molly and Eddie was talking about like what it must be like to be like a really famous guy who's really rich but you're also like maybe not the most attractive guy in the world you know like maybe some of them they want to get to know you but then when you want them to like be sexually attracted to you it doesn't happen and so if you're a creep you start drugging them and and that's what Eddie was proposing he was saying like

like maybe like he just got tired of them saying no and he thought he was better than them and just dropped it in I forget exactly the Eddie's words but I hadn't considered it like that I hadn't thought about it like that like maybe maybe they're not all saying yes I mean maybe it is what weird thing with them where it got like really frustrating and then he just decided to do it or is it possible that maybe this was like a much more prevalent and accepted thing in the circles that he was running in and the like the

1860s is it possible that people like you talk about people giving people a Mickey or he did a joke about Spanish Fly and that Spanish Fly joke is it possible that more people were doing this back then and we're just finding out about it now I don't know because I mean they slipping the Mickey thing was totally I mean and the Spanish Fly thing was almost common like people talked about almost like on The Tonight Show I think Bill Cosby talked about like and then you know and it seemed like it was more accepted but

but I'm just I was it they weren't aware was it like but I know I don't know anybody who got like in the 60s or 70s who got a Mickey slipped into them like why was that such a calm expression

Charles Bronson never did it James Coburn never did it Steve McQueen never did it fucking Burt Reynolds never did it can you do me a favor from perfect and I want to show Joe Rogan stuff can you get me the beginning of the longest yard I want to show Joe Rogan how much times have changed you know what it is it's really dark it's something real dark about it like you can imagine like what is it just what is what's going on what is his essence you know what is his soul he's doing that was there a movie freak with her

you did that made it look sexy back in the day like a James Bond look who I got some Spanish fly it seems like I remember there was no kind of know what there was movie though Animal House where he had a decide whether or not to do the right thing or the wrong thing remember the lady I blacked out the devil with all his shoulders yes the angel was saying hey you know just blacked out at Devil's like fuck her suck her tits fucker and and you know he couldn't figure out what to do but you could you probably couldn't even do that movie today yeah well

creeper that's a joke you can't mean it's one thing if this was you can obviously have a horrific rape scene if it's like a drama right but if it's a comedy and you're joking around about right you can't have that we no one will accept that that's the last rape scene that made you uncomfortable it was place would movies there's always rape scenes that make uncomfortable but what I'm saying is that you couldn't have a joke about potentially raping a girl like Animal House like you could have a you could have a

herbal seen in a realistic show but where the devil's on your shoulder and a comedy going fucker fucker like whoa like that's a I don't think you could do that today watch this for second Jamie's you find it's in there it's in their opening scene from the original Longest Yard it's and watch this you're going to die you're going to say they could not do this in a fucking movie and to top it all yeah I'm gonna skin this is original on your original Longest Yard the first scene along his yard is so fucking

color that it could not be done today I would we just watched it by mistake one day and were like oh my God that's fucking bad really I never listen I ran in those circles I'm gonna look you guys in the face I never heard of people Spike and girls that would not be acceptable why it came from that would not be fucking acceptable don't get me wrong I've gotten chicks coked up to the gills to suck my dick okay but they're awaiting it and I had detention yeah

thank you so bad the next day but they did the blow you do the devil gotta drink the side of you

if you didn't watch this this is this is just crank it

this is a terrible movie watch this dog

you can't do that today

he's like ouch shit this is terrible dude this is so bad this is 1973

I can't believe how bad it is his drinking and that's what people did back then

are you fucking kidding me are you fucking kidding me

chewing gum

smiling chewing gum while drinking

what kind of shit box is he driving though Datsun that's a Maserati in 1973 that's what a Maserati looks like she just said don't touch my mom's right that's hilarious isn't that funny that that could be like a cool car

and the cops are now coming after him while he's drinking he throws in the backseat this is berlioz and the poem my god of his life Goose he's outrunning the cops with his Maserati here this is hilarious during a go-kart race a car is such a shit box look at it my dad had that car

that's your dad had that crank so I think he had a long one giant big Goofy American cars chasing it

these guys handle so bad

hey God damn good chasing though hold on it gets better

I don't think

so ridiculous

well-timed

by Jesus Christ goddamn boom price should call the car chase - guys the car chases in those days was so tough when you see that movie with McQueen and they chase them in San Francisco that Mustang you fucking that that was so much tougher to drive that car oh yeah that shit now today it's easy this is when you had to be a fucking monster here these cars are

dog shit like look how skinny his tires are you see how skinny those tires are there's like no traction on those fucking things they did the mechanical grip is nothing that it knows guy

oh my goodness

just bad motherfucker tearing shit up in this country 73 this is before cannibal run right yeah this is when he was still I like how Savage I got the trunk magically close watch this not now he's still listen to the same song as long as you don't give he believed he hit he hit rewind and she does hate track look at the cigarettes he smoked still you a fuckin around guys this was him again this is a different America this was him against Clint Eastwood against Charles Bronson

against James Coburn you had to do this crazy type shit smack pigeon shit to get attention and a driver's car off into the ocean yeah because he doesn't want them to catch him don't you understand Brian yeah but how did he put the gas back down the coast cars were dog shit you just fucking tell us a button who killed the water forward button and it goes through the car wash he goes to the bar and the cops come in these sitting there fucking Hammett and though I step away from the bar and a little guy goes why'd you throw home car in the ocean

no because because it needed a car wash Jimmy put on the the chase scene from bullet I watched bullet this year I was up in Canada and it was on TV you gotta sit there though so gonna fuck were they thinking I watched it from the beginning to the end it was great when it's full of bullets Steve McQueen cop movie and San Francisco they have a crazy scene with a 68 Mustang where McQueen is chasing this guy this guy's chasing him in a Dodge Charger oh it's one of the all-time great car

and look at this shit the guy's got this gigantic Dodge Charger and he's got this dope 68 Mustang which four cars back then handled really God damn good I mean that was a lightweight car with a good amount of power but you know their drum brakes and shitty suspension and so these guys are driving around the corners and the dark it is a little spit out huh it is put back this when you were a stopped

man now this guy's in the hospital fucked eight is that guy a thousand stitches and shit that's when you fucking were a stuntman that have pads and then you did it with Wranglers on how much is Steve McQueen's own driving did he do I don't know how much in the movie because he's obviously doing some of it he could drive his ass off ya he could drive his ass he used to bring the movie he played you did what was the name of them a lot Le Monde LeMans he plays a great movie that's I forgot all about that something right yeah and it's another movie that

for like 10 minutes nobody says a word that's the thing about this chase scene one of the craziest things about it is how well orchestrated is how cool it is look at that skinny-ass bitch to the world and just would not work today people walk out of this movie and they would they have no jobs meme not me but today the attention span for a big-time movie for sure people are used to these smash cots and they used to MTV style editing you know I can music videos like the champions of like quick editing

Eddie Bravo again explain that to me he was talking to me about how they make music videos If you ever noticed they're constantly switching angles constantly changing the way it looks because you don't have a static image for like 60 seconds you know like someone standing there because that's really rare most of the time like especially pop songs are constant trying to move the image around keep you interested in it

but this movie look we're watching this guy load shells newest shotgun for like 20 seconds let's fucking they set everything up and different way if the beginning of the mechanic there's not a word for the first 14 minutes he just watches the guy and sets him up same thing you're sitting at going what's going on in here the fuck it up that Dodge Charger between this movie and the Dukes of Hazzard more people fucked up Dodge Chargers

hurts my soul I watch The Dukes of Hazzard watch that fucking car make a jump and watch the frame Bend and then they just drive away just took and you know that the car that they jumped with is not the car they're driving with what I put you through they put a kid on it correct well you know they just got a bunch of them and they just broke a bunch of them and they but they did have some fake ones too like some other cars were like a Charger body shell that they would sacrifice Miami Vice all those cars are just kids yeah well for those Ferrari is

Johnson's was a kid that was a fucking Testarossa was it really was a kid it wasn't a real Testarossa no kidding wow I've seen a Miata that somebody turned into a Testarossa no not to me odd I'm sorry Fierro remember those fierros Pontiac Fiero my sister had Willows ex-girlfriend trade-in value on those was who Gottesman you brought this back then like 800 people would crack right there like a statue I paid $8,000 forgot about that scene

the guy loses the car and goes right into the gas station and it blows up oh you almost lost every kit cars and most gotta Kick card they still have them today I was looking in the back of one of those Hot Rod Magazine's and they had this kit car thing it was like not that much money there for the kit and you you put it together yourself and you have to I think you have to put an engine in it you have to do the whole thing but some people actually do that they actually build their own cars yeah it was my for my first car when I was 15 that was one of my options

was to get a army kit car where you can build your own arms reboot Jeeps yeah get the juice of 250 bucks yeah I'm putting on a different frame or something crazy I was advertised as I mean I can comic but yeah I think of there's a car I think it's called The Noble I think it's called but it's a car I think it's from England and they ship it over here it's this beautiful crazy-looking sports car they ship it over here with no engine and you have to get an engine put in it it's like so it's not really I mean it's they don't consider it a car when you buy it and that's how

they can sell it to you because it's not you know it doesn't have all the it doesn't pass all the regulations that you need to know how to do that in Mazda is Maserati Italian car yes they had it when they were shipping cars over in the 70s they had to take the engines on shit so the mafia couldn't steal the cars really yeah they also when they sent the Italian shoes over after a while they would just sank our goals or right shoes and cargos with left shoes because like that they wouldn't get robbed that's fucking hilarious they were robbed the fucking key

of course the fucking docks of the Italian shoes well the docs of always been known as been like one of the places for organized crime right on the waterfront with Marlon Brando My Buddy Joe Lake they were talking about he was a Teamster he was a longshoreman and you know a longshoreman like that that whole world has always been like depraved depicted in movies as being like organized crime headquarters they meet down by the docks you know there's always like people like that you know they're like the rough hard time

humble harmless travel loan sharks that every time I die you can buy jackets anything that comes off those for I have a friend till this day I talked to him yesterday still drives cars off the ships as he does for a living wow so the ships come in with like Honda's agility 2042 fucking dollars an hour plus overtime drop since he was in high school all this what I was going to ask you earlier but I didn't want to interrupt your story The reason why do they grow heroin in other countries I don't even know if you know yes to this but they

another countries because they can't grow it here or do they grow it in other countries because it's not financially viable the poppy see well listen let me tell you something if any drug dealer could grow poppy seeds here and eliminate the travel they would have done it but would they have what I'm saying what I'm thinking is absolutely anybody who could cut that cost out and eliminate that whole fucking journey I don't time I think you need a lot of land I think it's one of those things that we really hard to do indoors because I think it's something that they do like when they make

you need a lot of land to make a smaller amount of heroin than you would think Papa Shooters comes from Tyrone come from the poppy plant yeah right hmm and I think it's high Outlets like coca leaves what don't they grow coca leaves here you fuck yeah that's exactly the same question thing broke hopefully shit but I heard now that that's a big market now people are important coca leaves people in Beverly Hills now having coakley's parties which cigars while you chew those focus groups they're supposed to be great and you smoke a cigar and drink wine and people get fucked up

the room and I 300 a leaf or what the deals I never eat no fucking leaves I would the people in the High Altitude out your Peru they have bags of these things they take with them it's really kind of freaky to watch they packed their mouths with it and they have like a squirrel sized lump on the side of their face and they just chew these leaves fucking chewing tobacco only coca leaves except it's actually kind of healthy for you yeah it's not bad well that's before you ride the guilt what was I there's a fucking new drug did you see this this crocodile yeah it's been a while

while around for a while what the fuck is this where they take a dog the ladder and they process it to something else they put two drugs in this gasoline and red sofa that should tell you right there that's not the drug for me right or wrong when ya put gasoline and then it eats the skin yeah that's causing necrosis how long and I could this get you I think it starts out when they just have like a little bit of like a bruised area or fucked-up area and then they

just get hooked on shooting it in and they keep shooting in that spot it keeps getting worse and worse I just not getting better and then it starts really going downhill and then they get super depressed and they keep shooting it in there I think it's a real bad drug real dangerous scary drug and apparently they doing it when they can't get heroin you know that's that's how a lot of it got started for read online but the images of their correct if those are real images of people's bones poked out of their stance yeah that really is true that's that's spooky as fuck like when your bones are

posed you got a problem it's a problem it's a real problem I used to snort coke with a guy that while he was talking to you he'd have to get the straw and then put like a paperclip in his nose because the skin it collapse so we have to pick the skin up put the dollar in there and then snort it oh my God and this is an 85 I can't now he's missing his nose like he ain't even breathing I wanted that was an 80 fucking 5 last time I started with that guy and he would have to

pick up the wall from his nose of Jamie find out why they don't grow cocaine in the United States imagine that shit someone on the message board says it takes an acre of coca leaves to make a kilo so you need like slave labor to collect process huh without that does make some sense listen brother they could do it here they would have done it trust me Target they had the financing they've had the fucking money right and that's something they could of it it back then no they can't do it as a reason why they can't do it it's about the altitude

ooh there's something in the soil is some reason both of those things if not some drug dealer with a higher the cameras and said bring it over here some Chinese guy okay with tons of loot when it got another genius Chinese guy 30 years ago and said you teach us how to grow this shit in Jersey yeah that's it it would have eliminated everything but there's some reason why you know you just can't they made synthetic heroin yet but you need that Chinese white shit on this car

they have the Mexican that tar that shit you just shoot and you smoke but on the East Coast that's that white powders would Suburban kids like that's at the models get hooked on because it's two bumps and you're done you're done it's lights out now they're making it pure than ever it's you know because it's coming from Afghanistan scum you know this this this next wore this last war we just started after 9/11 this picked up heroin again it started coming in here again especially the Detroit

an area Detroit is not as fucked up as it is because you know it's fucked up it's because they just threw heroin in there they couldn't fucking handle it man and the same thing happened in Newark New Jersey had happened a couple fucking areas I know about because I have friends that you fucking a heroin and they tell you this and you're like hmm that's interesting that this happened after 9/11 wow so well mean did the production of heroin has gone through the roof in Afghanistan through the roof you know there's all sorts of reasons why they have excuses while there

do it or why it's happening or why you know the Army helps them so pills are at their all-time highest and heroines at their all-time highest doing the show where they making the pills from do they need actual heroin to make those pills and do they need poppy seeds then need something in a poppies to the Levin is probably something else yeah it's probably all synthetic right what does that mean though like what where are they getting the compounds to put it together like what is it what is it where they come from they have to have like a raw version of something that turns into heroin

right when you say synthetic it's not like your press a 3D printer and heroin comes out what no I have to it has to be things that they like a lot of pharmaceuticals we think of them as Pharmaceuticals but a lot of them they're actually getting some of the chemicals from Plants you know that's one of the reasons why they mined the rainforests are always looking for different plants that they can exploit and they can make pharmaceutical drugs out of its kind of like I remember when I was a hippie lot of people had synthetic peyote and I don't know what that even means but I think they just took

the compounds whatever makes you know real peyote and just recreated in a lab somehow you know it's like isn't it like ingredients well there was a story that I read about Coca-Cola because Coca-Cola uses real coca leaves right real coke still today still today they use real coca leaves and they don't have cocaine him anymore what they do is they get these coca leaves and they bring them to this medical cocaine supplying company right and they take the coke out sell that to New Jersey

a company in New Jersey and they split in two hmm and so she put it in the medicine you're right so that's all coming from coca leaves which is really crazy like you wouldn't have thought that you would have thought that like synthetic cocaine or lidocaine or whatever the fuck it is that they're using the which whatever versions of medical-grade cocaine to use you would have thought somehow know that that's coming from chemicals that's what we would think it's synthetic we always like to say shit like that but what does that mean like there's got to be like raw compounds that are you

just to make this stuff where are those coming from it's coming from the origin I think synthetic means they take some of the origin and they put other shit in it the matching they make it cheaper for you you know it's like when you go to the store now and you go hi I'm here to pick up my medication they go well we have one of the ask you a question can you want the original Oxycontin or do you want Mel Cotton which is the same only made in Switzerland but instead of $80 to prescriptions $28 right so I shouldn't say synthetic hair

Irwin synthetic opiates

where do synthetic opiates come from derived from opium well there's a bunch that are derived from opium well that's a fucking naughty list morphine codeine heroin T-Pain and or app Avene huh I didn't know codeine heroin heroin and morphine how similar are they

it's like the same really that's what I've heard I mean I don't use them obviously but I've heard that's true that I've done heroin because I wasn't I wasn't think a cousin to fucking house on a morphine drip right when I got my operated on my first time it was amazing oh my God I kept hitting that button he hit the button whenever you want this is like 1993 they didn't regulate you thought I was lying in this bed my knee was killing me and I hit that button and just it would be like NyQuil like taking Nyquil like clip clip

that's probably what heroines like mmm it's pretty sweet with this do it so I've done it so there you go I've done heroin I didn't even think I did but then I remembered that that one night that I had to stay in the hospital and I had my ACL reconstructed that's why they had me there and it was done with a patella tendon graft that's how they did it back then there was a good way to do it sometimes they still do it that way today they're taking a chunk of bone off my knee and a chunk of bone off my shin and a sliver of my patella tendon and then they open you up

a fish screw this piece of meat and use the bone piece that the cutout of the shin and the bone piece of the cutout of the kneecap and then they reconstruct a knee and it hurts like a motherfucker dude whoo it's like like like lightning bolts shooting whenever you cut into bone and drills like it's the what the other one that I had done I had done with a cadaver like ways here I mean I mean like almost nothing like I went to you know Matt Lichtenberg I went to his birthday party five

five days after the operation just walked was fine like it you know I had a brace on it I didn't want to hurt myself but I didn't need crutches I could get around like it's totally different than the patella tendon graft your leg blows up like a fucking balloon but I'm lying in bed and they have me on this continuous motion machine from the moment you come out of the operating room they put you on the deal didn't want your leg to stiffen up because it's really hard to get it to get moving again you know once you once you get really rigid you know the trauma sets in and it's really difficult to straighten your leg out so

away they have you on this thing it's like really boom boom boom hey boom so not only you an Agony but your leg is on this continual machine y broblem more morphine is commonly related to is morphine sulfate heroin is diacetyl morphine that is heroin is simply morphine with an acetyl molecule attached as settle settle settle more molecule attached so it's basically the same shit and that molecule just is

so it does it faster yeah in terms of the effects they are exactly the same and medically interchangeable except for the dosage in fact they're both converted to the same form of morphine when they get into the body fascinating thank you young Jets all of us you know when you had surgery I feel like it's all and when they give you this should give me heroin it's not amazing get me uh you know different form it's not the street level but it's a form of what you're getting high and it's tremendous who doesn't like that huh huh my friends

mom had cancer and you know she went through all the channels and she was on her way out and she decided to go out on her own by taking all and morphine just said look what a beautiful way to do it still like this just took it all you know they were giving her some for pain and I guess you know she had enough to stop the ticker and she just has enough I was enough to have things like I'm wasting away he's she was is no hope like it's over like her body is it was over it was like the last few days but that's how she decided to do it you gotta respect that you know

like the fact that that's illegal you know I know it would be abused I know it could be abused by people that want to kill people you know all my mom wanted to go you know the you could you could run into those type of people that would actually kill family member to get some money from the will kill a wife you know those those kind of things but I think that it still for someone who's dying man for your mom or something like that when it's the last days and you got to watch her just in agony constantly with no light at the end of the tunnel

she's 90 years old or whatever the hell she is like fuck man like you got to have a heart man that shit should be legal you should do should be able to do that in some places it is right it's legal in Oregon there was a one girl that was trying to do that she moved to Oregon did she do it yeah she ended up delaying it a couple days and then she and she did it yeah

who

who's crazy shit man if you gotta be there to really make a decision on that one you know yeah I got to be that it's tough to just some people get tired of fighting now you're tired of the you get weary from the illness just draining you and then the chemotherapy drains you sometimes even further and it's hard you know the last days what's amazing is how many people benefit from CBDs for marijuana and how few people are getting it you know the more I read about this in the more I talk to people that have had it and talk to people that

have loved ones that have tried it on cancer and had incredible results and it just drives me nuts it's just so hard to believe that that stuff still demonized that people are still pretend that's one of the worst things that Society can make legal where for just if it only did that with cancer forget about the getting high part if it only did that for cancer do you know how magical that drug would be it's like it's got this Creepy Past it's like a stripper that wrote the most amazing book but nobody wants to listen to it because she used to be a stripper

it's got like marijuana has this like cd part to it and that c d Part B keeps people from recognizing the the textile use the uses as a commodity the use for making houses the use for food like if it was just all those things and didn't get people hi it would be our all-time favorite plan would be the number one plant in the world we would be using it all the time they say that this hempcrete if you ever heard of hempcrete concrete they make with hemp it's supposed to be like well some of the most durable lightweight fire

fire resistant insulation it's great insulated properties insulation properties and it's made out of hemp and you can make it cheap you know it doesn't doesn't cost a lot of money to grow hemp they just can't grow it like any you can't even get high from this shit I mean it's really crazy if you stopped and thought about it if it was a plot in a movie if there was something that was as powerful as the marijuana plant it was something that had so many benefits and it was somehow another kept illegal and somehow another the propaganda kept people thinking that it would be one of the worst things for society

if they were to make this legal you would lose your fucking mind you would you would go this movie stupid like this movie's dumb people would Riot they wouldn't do it in come on you got something the cures epilepsy and kids little kids that have epilepsy you've seen any different fucking kids have benefited Johnny Rotten yeah our buddy Johnny his kid was having all sorts of seizures he moves up to Seattle get some on the medical marijuana program boom goes away yeah goes away it gets a hundred times better and the kid starts communicating changed his life change that kid's life fuck man

man this is weird it's one of the weirdest Parts about being alive in 2015 is that there's so many improvements going on there's so much fascinating shit happening in our culture and yet this one thing is like this hold out this clawing thing that clings to the sod it's not that it's the people's reaction that gets me still hmm like I'm the type of guy that you know what man I didn't eat sushi told 1995 but I came around you know when I was in New York fuck you were raw fish

I'm saying raw fish you know what the fuck but then one day I came around I never said I hated Sushi I just said it wasn't for me at the time and you listen to a fucking moron like Governor Christie who just aggravates me that can reach me at this guy is running for president this fucking he is President fucking list is horrible thank God I'm happy I got felonies this is you have to have to vote you like these motherfuckers from the Cuban dude to Christie went bad shape twisties

ridiculous ones bad she's a ridiculous ridiculous person he's so ridiculous oh my God I cannot find I'm so happy I don't live in Jersey man I'm so fucking happy but you know what he's so mocked I just I can't imagine him ever and he's got that whole Bridge things going to hold them back it's nice not going to get enough but what he will do in doing this is raised his public profile and maybe he's pretty good at debating it's pretty good at talking and maybe if he has these conversations in front of America you know the way he's been having him in New Jersey

maybe like in a big public forum like presidential debates it could be kind of interesting could be interesting to hear him talk because as moronic as he is still a very good talker you know he gets I disagree with a lot of the shit that he says but I gotta respect the fact that the guy knows how to communicate you know sometimes that's all you need in this goofy ass World somebody writes you a good juicy script you have a bunch of people behind you they give you a little makeover they tried to do that with them they got him on that fucking belly band but somehow or another it didn't work like he still big

egg right I mean he did get on that right find out if he did that because that's ridiculous this is the way I look at it I grew up in New Jersey I grew up in politicians homes and I know that to be a politician in New Jersey somewhere along the line you got to take an envelope

and when you're running for president it's pretty tough to take an envelope and people not to fuck them raise their hand hmm it's like Donald Trump when he raised his hand I cannot believe it yeah just on what he did in New York in the 80s you know if that guy even moves what did he do in New York and New York in the 80s when he was building all those things hold on to it when we do once the ran start going don't pull it up when he went in the 80s when he was doing all that

developing okay he shut up like Rogan construction okay Rogan construction was started by you I'm just making a name right okay okay he's they don't Road and construction was a company started by your grandpa and Newark and his two brothers and then he hide their sons and now they have 12 full-time employees and they've been putzing along since 1948 doing new construction and houses and remodels but whatever they're keeping their lights on

right and also the GC comes in was a general contractor on this job who somebody like fucking Trump and he hires people like Rogan construction and search electric and God's fucking plumbing and got suck my dick concrete you know whatever the fuck the name of the company is somebody making teacher but they would stiffen and all these companies went out of business all that construction he did in New York and New Jersey in the 80s was very sad

suspect number two before he raised his hand I hope I hope that he's this intelligent let me get that water my brother I'm sorry to fuck up your little I hope that he called the congressman or a governor or somebody in Colorado he said how Barry the Sammy the bull gravano and he get the TMZ can he get to a phone because all those deals he had going on in the 80s he was in bed with the mafia it doesn't take a fucking genius to tell you that

okay the squirrel try a dumpster the one that Johnny Reed felon when he tried to commit suicide you know those dumpsters you guys see ya a square dumpster to get one in Colorado in 1987 was $200 for the day you know that same dumb stores in New York and 1987 2200 hours

that's how high the construction costs were some of it with the mafia tax well there was a lot of organized crime sponge organized crime so somewhere along the line This Trump was in bed with organized crime had to be had to be the Trump Plaza Atlantic City just look at the locations doesn't matter thought of this is I always thought of this I always knew this idiot did not could not raise his fucking hand and if anybody is smart go to the Sammy the bull book he talks about it not so many

is really so I guarantee the feds have their files and as soon as this guy moves up a little bit they're going to take a look at this is Sammy the bull told this how can we take care of this a donation to the fucking about fongool company of fucking blind kids whatever the fuck it takes because this guy was the major contractor in New York in the 80s all these small businesses he put their lights out you know how I know I'll tell you how I know for a fact

when I got locked up one of the conditions of me getting out was I had to get a job to alleviate the state of Colorado my attorney came up with this paperwork listen if you let him out he'll leave not next week not tomorrow we got a plane for him as soon as he gets out of your fucking jail will take him out a new job whoops got them back to New Jersey but to do all this I have a promise of employment and I called around New Jersey and my friends uncle had a window door trim sash

you know all this shit for your door that's a sash on the bottom by the way and trim around your door and the door and shades and they sold all that stuff and they have like an 11-man crew like six guys on phones so he goes of you want to go he made me the send me the resume the guys uncle and I call them we spoke on the phone and in fact I wrote the guy while I was in prison back and forth because he would tell me keep your head up you got a job when you get out don't be down on yourself when I got out of the into the halfway house I called

and I said hey man I got to sit in the halfway house for 90 days but I'll be in Jersey by June he goes I don't think I can hi we were working on this construction company and we got stiffed it was that fucking guy Trump we lost everything we had any investment lie you know these were high-rises you had to pay for all those windows and he's gonna pay you you know they might have got a deposit of something from the GC but not enough they got stabbed and then you go so whore just put them under yeah but he would go on to like he would go to he was

top Builder and he would go to Joe Rogan construction he would put it all onto your name so you went down to wow so he did all this he ruined fucking family businesses and all of a sudden he has this short memory you know when you run for president they look at you in a fucking microscope microscope and you know why I don't know what happened with the birth certificate Obama's birth certificate attention but this is he was born in Kenya this is something you cannot Overlook with this guy this guy's a prick he doesn't know anything right

contracted with this well he was he was one of the guys that was going on and on about Obama's birth certificate he was like one of the main guys like I first of all I don't look just look at them as human beings like when you hear them talk and you you kind of like what they stand for he's my favorite president ever who Obama better than Clinton yeah I think Clinton you know Clinton had a lot of flavor and he did some good stuff too but I think Obama is Ben

the moat maybe it's just the times that were in he's the most the most noticeable when it comes to like spreading this like what I think is like an improvement in the way people think you know first of all by being black second of all by support of gay rights really like blatant support like where they turn the fucking White House rainbow when it got passed and that's crazy shit man that's never existed before when you see when he saw that picture of the White House being rainbow-colored at night as like this is nuts man that wouldn't happen with Nixon

this is some shit that's similar to the fucking abolition of slavery it's similar I mean it's not as extreme a slavery it's not as extreme a trap that's so amazing I mean but it's similar in the way that it's going to change the way people look at gay people it's going to it might not be now it might not be the generation of our parents it might not be the generation of our older brothers and sisters but it's going to be the generation of our kids the generation of our kids

is going to understand the gay people it's just like being mad at people for having red hair it's just who they are like what do you give a fuck and if you give a fuck about that what else are you going to come creeping around about what are you going to fuck with people about what is it you going to fuck with people about the way they're dressed you gonna fuck with people about the way they talk like what is it like leave people the fuck alone and the more we do that the more we can sort it all out and find out what is really bothering us what's really bothering people with a lot of what's bothering people is people intruding on other people's lives

and it doesn't get any more intrusive than in the fucking bedroom you're intruding on people's bedrooms you care if people want to get married if they love each other just because they're two guys or two girls who gives a fuck and if you do give a fuck you're a problem you're a problem in this free world and if this is just one thing that you ideologically attached yourself to and it might be religious based in my who knows what the fuck other shit you got going on your head you don't want people to do you know who knows what other weird

kind of sharia law shit you want to incorporate into society who knows I don't know you think people shouldn't be able to get married just because they're two men or two women that's intolerable in 2015 that's archaic shit and I think that is one of the archaic things that's gonna slowly but surely start Vanishing from our world so it's not maybe not now there's still a lot of homophobia now but you know there's this woman from Brazil who's did an interview thing is Jessica and Raj

MMA fighter and she was talking about how many people in Brazil are homophobic in comparison to the United States and she's like it's really nice to see the United States doing this and hopefully more people in Brazil think this way to you realize like that a lot of like Latin American countries especially like you were talking about Cuba you were talking to me the other night about Cuba Russia Q oh yeah yeah you know Angelina has a laws they pass laws against gay people listen man this is something completely new to some

people it doesn't affect me so it doesn't bother me I've been like I said in my joke on stage I live next to transgenders across the street the great the great the gay girl with the dog I talk to him every day I goof on I do van fucking big Mike and Leslie you know I love them I don't give a fuck you know but there's some people are still living in nineteen fucking 70 men yeah and those people are stuck in their own fucking line so I just keep walking yeah you just keep walking what are you gonna do and every day they watch The Longest Yard law

for the days when you can smash a chicks face against the wall I was explaining to you the other day that the most foremost community in Cuba is the gay community I grew up with gay Cubans around in my mom had my mom on the fucking ball you think fucking Keeps the Lights On white dudes in the daytime those gay fucks that come in and spend it you know and in those days they were doing blow they were selling blow and I grew up around them I never had an th and I think for him but my stepfather he's from the other side of Cuba

okay where they can't be in a room with a gay guy no hatred know whatever but they just can't be in a room their manhood cannot be in a room with a gay guy you know I and I get it some Latin American countries is just but who are the biggest gay guys in the world fucking Latins to the best ones so what do you think that is you think it's like becoming a team of thing it's what is it like in Sicily on that island what would it be like in 1950 to be gay in Sicily they bang each other a lot I don't think

so I don't fucking think so I think that well that's where the Catholics are but I think that you'd be I think that you would be fucking totally against it right they Northern Italy those hard-headed motherfuckers you can't tell those motherfuckers you open up whatever the fuck they call them right but that's also where the Vatican is right like how ironic is that that doesn't make any sense because that is the biggest gay sex organization but they don't want to know that if you want to know that pedophilia okay the biggest part of me wants to know that do they the priest fuck each other

the only fuck kids how's that work oh no you gotta bring me down with that talk now and shit but maybe just curious I didn't I didn't you know I just know how it was when I was growing up here the Vatican own the gate bathhouse know the building the Vatican owned was home to the biggest gay bathhouse in Italy

that's crazy yeah should go play some synthetic heroin yeah let me uh pull up the story because it's fucking ridiculous but game Jamie pull that shit up put it up on the big screen it's ridiculous they owned I mean they're so blatant they've been doing this for so long you know like this this gigantic crazy cult that's running the Catholic Empire they've been in charge for so long wearing wizard costumes and sitting on Thrones and people so many people have bought into it that is

look at this the Vatican pays landlord to Europe's biggest gay bathhouse and by the way I say this I went to Catholic school I'm allowed to say this shit Richard threes landlord till they play landlord to Europe's biggest gay bathhouse the church paid Thirty million dollars to acquire a building that houses a senior Cardinal and a huge gay sauna wait a fucking minute they senior Cardinal and a huge gay sauna that's it that's his

private gay bathhouse the guy owns a bathhouse they paid 30 million first of all how crazy is it that the Vatican has 30 million bucks to buy houses with like they have so much money look at that the 75-year old Prince of the church enjoys a 12 room apartment on the first floor of the imposing Palazzo at to VR carducci just yards from the ground floor entrance to the steamy fleshpot he's he's above it smelling it there are 18 other Vatican apartments in the

block many of went which house priests Cardinal Diaz who is seen as a social conservative even by current standards of the church hierarchy is no doubt horrified to learn of the activities taking place a floor below my goodness I could not imagine it's apartment mildly smells like butt holes mildly it's probably a tornado it's you know it's probably like man when those fucking cart those trees you hang over your rear-view that's like well house but won't we

we been night featuring Bruno very overweight Pastor a Souls who dresses in the Catholic vestments naturally is free to the music of his clergyman remaining in a thong because he why I gotta do that I'm gonna be the new Bruno fuck it I'm going to swing some dick with a fucking because he was exposed Body and Soul according to the independent bear night also features a buffet because exposing his one's Body and Soul works up an appetite this is hilarious article is in Seoul on this article yeah

Thoreau wrote this article it's very funny you know Joe Rogan you read Katie McDonough you really funny came after you going to cap the school when you're raised Catholic yeah fucking mind boggling it's fucking mind by like it's just like firecrackers going off in your head for some people it's like how they found that one's Cosby was doping bitches it was mind-boggling from they grew up on Cosby yes that look at his fucking Jared guy look at this fucking Jared guy somewhere looking fucking the kids at one of the pictures the FBI you know I hope this isn't true but date

they arrested one guy that was like in the organization right did they just investigate Jared or they had of a suspicions partner and now he's his house being investigated Justin oh my goodness separated his business ties with Subway right he's got one of those little whoa wait I didn't hear about this what happened to the subway guy child porn investigation I knew it yeah what the hell losing weight on these people all got a creepy fucking freaking it comes out of entually just let it out before the fucking get

up just let it out I love little boys and fucking bikinis you know either Subway sandwich oh my God I sit there so do you think that like maybe he sent shit to Jared and Jared kept his mouth shut do you think Jared was sending shit back what do we TMZ that if you didn't have a life if you didn't have a life you want to you want to yell you know when I first started hearing this shit about the Catholic Church

on it I was like this is crazy I've been I was a fucking I was one of those kids

well those kids that fucking help the priest you know for body a six months I did that shit until I got thrown out of there you know I I believed you know I got to tell you man like when I get I get dark thoughts sometimes I'm about to go to sleep I just get dark fucking thoughts and just you know just from being around Buddhist and Boulder I learned that they chant a lot and in other words a chant is not any different than a prayer you know sometimes I got a bat do I'll say a fucking Lord

man I'm old school yeah I'm saying hmm so when I hear this shit it just does something to you it just like but it's for some people it's like getting punched in the stomach a you trusted somebody it's like having a babysitter molest your kitty you're numb for a weak man you're really you can't but this is our whole fucking society every three days we get dropped with something that we go what the fuck how did this happen how did this fucking happen yeah when things like this happen you always gotta Wonder

under like what set something like that off in someone's brain are they born with that does it happen because someone does it to them does is it a chemical imbalance like what the fuck is it that makes someone sexually attracted to kids what a bizarre thing to exist in nature you know the mean it's almost like a suicide gene it's almost like like you like in having that like your body is so weak your mind is so weak everything is so off-kilter you're trying to get yourself killed

and there's no better way to get yourself killed in fucking someone's kids like Diaw many people like you remember that video where the guy's walking through the airport and he had molested as a karate instructor and he had molested some kids and this guy's this one of the kids dad's waited for him in the airport and as he walked by with the cops walks up to his head boom blows his brains out just drops the gun on the ground that guy got off by the way today yeah you got off you gotta get off that's a great defense you lost your mind they had abused your child yeah you got off yeah he

he didn't do any time he shot that guy right in the fucking head in front of cops and then drop the gun which state was that I don't remember if I want to say it was in New York wants it was in New York I forget it might not have been though might have been somewhere else some things that are you get there before the cops you win yeah that's that's your Blues you get there before the cops you fucking win this guy shot them in front of the cops yeah I lost my mind temporarily inside temporarily and Sally and the cops like two fucking handcuffing going that aboard this is it right here

father shoots son father shoots and kills sons kidnapper in airport refer Revenge so wait they're going to show him shit yeah oh yeah oh no yeah the gross no he was just he just couldn't take it man he got this guy away look at this boom

then he puts the gun away and then they write he had a crazy hat on the cops hold him down

that's great that was his son ma'am that's so good I mean it is right it's fucked up but it is I mean I'm not usually for this kind of shit but boom I mean that is about as that mean

as far as like what's fair I'm for it yeah Joe real not against that you know you've been my friend for a long time I have a horrible horrible Revenge gee it's in my blood you don't know you do when they went down to Cuba and they tell the fucking my olanski that they tell the Jew that fucking they saw Rebels what does he say cause these motherfuckers be Savages all their lives yeah is that been Savages they've always been Savaged dog I have a Revenge Gina me

it's horrible and they didn't know carpets that me you crazy I would die would hit somebody with a car and go to the same jail I'm going to those motherfuckers like once I have it in my mind you are done it's in my blood that's what my whole life and movies Outlaw Josie Wales Death Wish Man on Fire bam and Man on Fire they how bad is which I miss that saintil a month ago he talks that Deuter to shoot himself there's only two motherfuckers in the

these that have done that what's his name and my boy in Silence of the Lambs he talked a motherfucking to hang himself from the other cell that's right remember our Meg's men's he talked Meg's into fucking swallow his own fucking tongue Meg's was the guys to throw jizz and people's face yeah my friend John Tobin used to call me Meg's those like High Plains Drifter was

that when he painted the town red that was the one where they killed him and he came back they came back they put the shield gun yeah it's a crazy my big cat shooting the body and he kept going down they thought he was a ghost well he was a ghost they beat a guy to death with a whip and then he came back as Clint Eastwood he came back ghost and fuck that town up it was a great movie that was a great movie at the time I remember seeing the first time I saw High Plains Drifter I was like holy but yeah it was on a Blog Dog you had a throw that's what I'm talking about when you see

see the machismo on Burt Reynolds it's because that motherfucker just watch bullet and he goes wait a second yeah I got out do that motherfucking yep I gotta put on this corduroy suit and then-- and then Charles Bronson came along and he's got outdo everybody because he's ugly you know look at that who's the baddest motherfucker ever if I'm going to watch a movie from that era and like if I come home like say if I go to a hotel room and you know you're bored look what's on TV and you turn it on and you get

this you get excited you go all shit you know you thought you're just going to be by yourself watching some terrible movie and it turns out high-plains Drifters on HBO or something like fuck they don't really show these on HBO doing okay why can't they they have to show new shit all the time right oh then there's a Channel about a month ago they showed not High Plains Drifter but the other one but you wanted with no commercials man yes the way you want you don't want these fucking things on regular TV you can watch these

movies Joe Rogan why because it makes me fucking crazy ha ha ha these movies are mind your wiring American throw these movies already made in Italy what we talking about we came in that it's time to put a strap has on on what living is some fucked-up times you really you're anxious about this lately I got a wife and a kid that I worry about and I don't know what I do I do not shoot the whole 5B John Wick I told you I got to get one of those John Wick guns and tell you that John wake the first

minutes or until he hooks up with the check once you hit them put the checks that bothers me for a while but then you click it on with 45 minutes left that is one of the best Kick-Ass scenes since Bruce Lee and Enter the Dragon yeah and I know you better check your watches that's 30 fucking years he cleans out he's using bullets as strikes and he's shooting them up close and blowing their fucking heads off it's about asthma and when you see that movie you know he trained with he gonna laugh yeah he can fucking the fuck them they'll come when I'm anxious to go

go see him tomorrow to go see here yeah like on the way home I'll call ya that brother you're gonna teach tomorrow I be there Levin o'clock that's it that's all we say to each other I see 11 o'clock and now he comes with an Indian dude that heals your body guy lays you down all by energy guy looks at you and goes your shoulder bother you like goddamn how do you know every week it's like a game of chess with him really he lays you down he does his Cherokee shit well that kind of Indian yeah he bent you over he picks up the Army does the Cherokee thing on your spine

he releases the eagle good googly moogly that is easy from your but you gotta save you doing 90 upload okay and after the eagle is loose really yeah yeah he sure has a plan Indian he fucking works in my body it's not her khoisan grass nothing nothing the guys in whole rodeo clown dog he broke every bone in his body oh my God so this guy adjusted everything and he was like dog and not last week some do what in there with a fucked-up hip the guy was there this weekend flowing fucking psychic so shroud you clown

and Jesus Christ is that like the most thankless job might be one of the most thankless jobs ever nobody gives up there's no not one Lance Armstrong or the rodeo clowns you know what I mean it's like a Ken Block who's like a famous driver right there's like a skateboarder Tony Hawk you know there's one guy in each discipline Tiger Woods you know I mean where the everybody knows Tiger Woods is a golfer who's the one rodeo clown named one they get no respect it's probably one person that we just don't know it's like a Mexican superhero or something like that they don't

these rodeo clowns they have mean in bullfighting mean that this the Run by bull-riding I'm pretty sure is it American tradition is it I think so I think in Mexico obviously they have a lot of bullfighting in Spain Spain they have a lot of bullfighting I guess that's where they got it from right they imported from Spain I'm hoping because that's what Mexican Mexico is is like the new indigenous Americans that came over when the Spanish came over they taught them Spanish

start fucking them and that's what made Mexican that's why you get like Mexicans like Oscar De La Hoya you know who's like this beautiful looking you know european-looking man like kind of Fairly pale skin and then you get a Mexican like you know Juan Manuel Marquez was like much more Mexican looking okay Inca yeah a lot like the darker skin and like the darker hair it's interesting man this is the whole North American continent is fucking fascinating it's fascinating to think that if you came

to this spot 400 years ago they'd be very few people here very very very few a few nomadic tribes of Native Americans no cities no nothing are you think how interesting is this there was a Diaz on the boat with Columbus and a Valdez really yeah that's a Diaz on the boat because we're all the Diaz has come from how do you say that I didn't say that your dad and they spell it with his Z and then one of the biggest lieutenants and Cecilia

histories of Diaz with a c and then we just saw that priest with an s a dance with a see as a z a z z and then you have the fucking lunatics up in Stockton and then Mexican right and I'm sitting here in front of you don't Cuba this can be right that makes you think ideas there Diaz there and Diaz as a lieutenant and Diaz was on the ship as Natalia

Italian Diaz Italian Diaz an Italian Valdez with Z my mother's side of the family is Valdez and their doctor in debt and my father's side is Diaz and they're from come away and they came from Spain they speak with that thing than that a little bit of either thing a thief yes big my Jaguars like those people so you have to think how did the As get the Mexico

how did this Diaz get here and how did Diaz with his z2d as with an S these are all very interesting things that I look at you look at Evolution we were talking about how they found that fucking tooth of the whale in Wyoming many years ago we had the discussion on the podcast you know this is things that have always baffled me like how come there's Nate Diaz and his brother that Mexicans it could be not Inca Mexicans though right daddy other Mexicans right they came from somewhere else

Bob whatever so it's very interesting you know what's interesting to me one of the things that's been getting me lately is this water situation in California it's pretty bad it's a three years going on four years now and the drought is pretty ferocious like they're they're saying that California used 29 percent less water last month so people are working to try to solve it but what was occurring to me when I was thinking about this is we know for a fact that there's areas of the world

world that used to be Lush and then they became desert like that's a we know that for a fact about the Nile Valley like in Egypt where the pyramids used to be where the boy the pyramids are rather before that like 9,000 years ago they know there was like it was a rainforest there and slowly over time shit just change and then there's not that much rainfall and that could easily happen to California but would we stay with everybody stay here when they just keep pumping water artificially into the spot or would people go you know what this ain't working the same working on money

fucking we got to move on like we've always had to all throughout human history whenever the climate got bad people to get the fuck out of there when the ice age was happening here no one was living in Canada no one was living in Canada during the Ice Age because it was two miles thick of ice in a lot of spots you wouldn't you weren't you aren't living on Ice you're right you would find a way to get to a place where it's not ice you know but all the places that were covered in ice were it was a massive amount of Canada so all when all that ice receded that's where we got the Great Lakes from the Great Lakes

it's our fucking puddles that are melted glaciers I mean that's how fucking crazy this place was just 10,000 years ago if we had a house and it was there you can't be stubborn when the ice starts coming you can't say we're just going to keep chipping away at that ice every year I get a certain point in time you got to realize okay there's two miles of ice and it's as big as fucking Canada or half a Canada or even a few states where those few states are you can't live you got to get out of there you got to get out of there and if that happens here

we're so arrogant or idea that we can control nature is so arrogant no one considers leaving California like everybody talks about like it will California's California we got to do something about the California Water Crisis what if it never rains again because guess what that could happen if it doesn't rain but once or twice a year or ten times a year or 20 times a year there have been way crazier things than a shift in our climate to the point where it rains 0 that's totally possible it's totally possible if it's possible

possible to rain one day a year it's possible to rain zero if it's possible to rain 10 it's possible to rain one it's it could be horrific disastrous it's totally possible and it would be normal it would be something that's happened all throughout the world they know that like a lot of deserts used to be like Lush areas and then somehow or another like for whatever reason things changed she thing shifted you know and you can blame people all you want I'm sure we have a lot to do with it I'm sure global warming

and that there's without a doubt as some element of human civilization is a part of this too many scientists that believe it does there's got to be some Factor but even without that factor it's super possible that shit would change on its own it's shifts we don't control when it rains it can fucking shift it easily could shift and if you're a spot that sucks you got to make a decision you have to figure out what the fuck you're going to do it rains more in Phoenix it rains here it rains in Phoenix a lot actually I didn't know that in Ohio

and in Houston look at Galveston it's raining so much that their shit water everywhere and people are losing their sight because it's over filled all the sewage and stuff that you haven't read about the site yeah there's this girl lost her sight just from being in the water because the they tested the water is it's all shit water view it's in Galveston and Houston they've had such bad flooding in the past month it's been horrible horrible all right guys saw some of the photos all I remember that back

back when we worked at the laughs stop I was there they were thinking about that Sunday floods it's been that was two months ago know the laughs stop oh yes and way back in the yeah West time I remember when they had a close that hotel we should stand yeah they flooded that thing was flooded up third floor was a time I was then I'm sorry the comedy club was on West Gray I'm going refrigerator going down West it's time fecal matter water advisories oh my God shit

hold on let me read that whole thing fecal matter water advisories issued for some Galveston County beaches fucking amen shit in the water the girl will go blind yeah

that's insane damn go fucking Subway already cut ties with Jared none came up at least the UFC waited three days and shit with Jon Jones they went down there these motherfuckers they think Dana's top fucking Subway don't play they don't even give a fuck whether he's guilty or not if even if he if Jarrod didn't do anything but knew about it if he knew the dude had child porn he still responsible you holding up was it said I this is the article woman loses sight in one eye

a mud run young woman went blind in one eye within 24 hours after catching a flesh-eating bacteria during the mud run in Dallas this month because of all the flooding oh God how do you / eating bacteria in your eye it just it says how women said they debris is cut her eye allowing flesh-eating bacteria to destroy her cornea it just completely melted off my eye oh my God fuck

that's fucked up do we just shit into the ocean how does that work oh shit more than a thousand Runners get diarrhea after mud Day event of course well you're definitely getting some bacteria if you get a mouthful of mud that's a hundred percent you're not supposed to do that by the way you're not supposed to drink Still Water you know you're lucky if that's all you get you know you can get something way worse than that Gentile shit jumping in a fucking Puddle of Mudd stay home fuck your wife in the ass yeah jumping fucking mud like a jerk-off

he's the polar bears jump in the ocean they jump into fucking cold water and then bag of empty you want to jump in mud after you fucking been running snowing whatever the fuck it's been for a month God knows it's in that fucking mud I used to seeing those polar bear people were idiots those people that would jump into the water okay you wanted to add freeze it yeah and you said God there aren't the something missing oh there you jump in the ocean manage called and does something especially hits like your bones for a minute when you come out of there you feel like a fucking know man I've jumped

into the fucking Atlantic is that where we're at and you know which ones colder here is here's called oh my god when I said jumping on board in Oregon and Seattle that's fucking oh and whether that's freezing that's when you feel the bones in your feet and shit but it's probably really good for you yep it is because this cryotherapy shit this stuff is changing my fucking body it's changing the way my body feels it's amazing how well it like cures any weird shit that's bugging you inflammation back pains like back pains have been

come with me forever the just dissolving you just do it all the time it's your body produces all these anti-inflammation responses to the cold weather so that's probably what they were doing when they were jump in the ocean you get out of it in your body's like a just get this fucking charge of blood about your dick shrinks and it gets hard real fast the shrinks to that pops out of that motherfucker like yum yum juice is being served and shit I'll never forget you saying and here

has killed herself know they showed up you suck my dick in the 80s you should have killed yourself there's a girl on Facebook that I fly so all one night the last time I saw this chick was the night Flutie Doug Flutie through that touchdown uh this is winter of 83 84 maybe and I saw at a bar dog this this and they called Lori the jack that song the Jack no the Jack by AC/DC She's Got the jack

she's got the Jack she has some like a disease the shit didn't have the Jack she just didn't have the wet pussy so they cause I'm wet now they call the Fairview New Jersey because it was a dry hump that these motherfuckers are so a Savage they will give you nicknames for everything in Jersey you know and I saw her at man I don't know what the fuck have we start doing blow she was a babysitter for this family Luis Donaldo the guy was a freak we went over their house and I saw a deposit bag from the barn I robbed it we got more blood

wow we have the hotel room to empower and she's like guess what color my underwear I never forget that she's like if you call it guess the column on the way I'll let you out take them well I'm like red she's like they green but fuck it take a more ha ha I'm sorry on Facebook and I'm like do you remember what happened in that she's like no I know you don't want to fucking know you would be here right now I'd be fucking killing yourself that's disgusting all that shit's disgusting

disgusting you know with all this transgender talk I was telling these motherfuckers on stays the night that that chick show this of pussy in Las Vegas it was a transgender remember what you called it what I call it looks like a bat one's mouth open it did I give you forgot your skin was tight and look like somebody put a boar in it with a dickhole was and clean that do you remember when Doug and I were doing The Man Show and we had that really

beautiful Trent we had two of them that were really beautiful that were transgender remember the one of them that was pre-op and she she showed his dick to the or her dick rather to the audience she showed his dick that's what I just said but it's hard to say her deck you know I'm saying like I was treating her correctly by calling her a she then I got to the deck I'm like she showed his deck but she was beautiful so beautiful that she was walking up the hill are driving up the hill you know by the used to be the Hyatt next to the Commerce

all right she was driving up that hill Eddie Bravo and I were coming down the hill we were walking and she was coming up and Eddie look today those goddamn like and I go oh that's my friend I go she used to be a dude and he goes you know her you sure are you fucking with me you fuck with me I go no she's definitely used to be a dude and then you know she said hi and I said oh what's up how you doing everything good but by we talked and then we went down there and he goes oh my God I can't believe that used to be a guy I can't believe it he was now I'm so confused now I don't know I thought I would be able to tell

I told you of your spot one my you can spot her she's an inch as deck she's as girly as it gets we should pitch that show well get a transgender them set like normal guys overtime on a date to see if they guess it was the next day guys would get violent that's how Jenny Jones got cancelled from TV don't you remember my how Jenny Jones had an episode where it was like my secret crush and the guy had a secret crush on this this

dude that he worked with and the dude that he worked with had no idea what the fuck was going on he was on the show and we're here to tell you that someone has a secret crush on you and the guy gets out it's me I always when it's like your that you know he got out there and he was like really flamboyant and the guy got angry when out of his house and shot him yeah fucking kill them and they just went like they pulled the plug on the show we won't do it so doesn't exist anymore check that's already had the operations still mad at me that's how they fucking suck

you break it to him like what a guard death thank God that comes out with a gun no they did it after the show was over the guy went to his house and kill my no kill them like a couple days - yeah but that's fine listen that's why I'm guarded for life and somebody tells you ain't leaving the house for a week dog this is what you do you film all the episodes in two days so if they die they die fuck y'all ready made your vague you gotta fucking hundred episodes in the can fuck him he's probably gonna kill people that say no after I fucked that you guys

shut them down and go how was your date it was great I've never been with a woman so magical what do we tell you Diane was really dick tajik and he used to sling dick back in the 80s on the Sunset Strip and the guy just freeze I mean what could you do like he's gonna kill somebody someone you don't get the wrong God you just yeah what if they if it happened to you what would you do depends how good the pussy was remembered the pussy was good fucking you know that he was really a woman all along here's the deal meant to give up that monkey here's the total rub his the total rub okay

this is the hundred percent dudes are willing to accept artificially enhanced breasts right no problem I mean some guys don't prefer them but they're willing to accept artificially enhanced breasts so breast that change your body and they turn your body into something that's more more womanly or more for whatever reason it activates that part of your lizard brain that sees the big fleshy tits and thinks that this this girl be able to take care of my babies well she's very fertile these are

good genes it's the same gene that gives you the big ass like the big ass the big tits liked it Sparks there's like a flame it's not as a matter of someone giving you affection it's a matter of someone giving you a fiction a very specific shape that that rings in your brain well if they can do that and do that absolutely perfectly and they will be able to eventually if they can't already right now and turn a guy and to the exact shape of a woman that's hot as fuck at the end of the day you can search around for

fucking hidden crackerjack toy you can lift her up and look around and try to figure out okay I don't know I guess it is this a woman I guess looks exactly like a woman it feels like a woman it talks like a woman God damn it as a woman and you'll eventually decide that it's a woman because your brain processes that as female your brain processes the words as female the shape is female and if someone can figure out how to do it just perfectly just perfectly genetically

they figured out it go in there and fucking tweak this shit they're close to doing crazy shit like that you saw that thing that Rhonda Patrick tweeted that I retweeted with about the pigs look what they are doing a pigs man they figured out a way to delete a gene and pigs and they come out like Incredible Hulk pigs she she put up a photo of it today they're doing all kinds of weird shit with genetics and they're already doing this on people she says in China she's coming on the podcast soon to talk to me about it

I can't wait to talk about it but look at these fucking pigs man this is crazy they're Hulk pigs look at the ass on that pig it's like a bull hot

if you were in a pig but but you mean you know I'm saying like this is a this is a new thing they're doing to the bodies of these animals they're gonna be able to do that to people to man they're gonna be able to turn a man into a woman like perfectly they'll be able to literally get in there and dig around

switch this turn that off and turn this on Andrew you're a woman

I mean it's gonna happen it's just a matter of time they don't know if they're ever gonna be able to turn a dick into a vagina without surgery but I kind of Imagine one day they will one day they'll just be able to you could go back and forth there's an app for it one day it's the government will have a switch which is decided to today we're going to be a girl day today everyone is going to learn to be more sensitive to women because we're all going to be women and just hit a switch entire city is a woman then that's when the Mongols invaded

come over the hill and they fuck everyone including all the alpha males just get fucked like chicks and here's a secret they like it they like it because their checks now Jody have that tight pussy today yeah today I do got a replenishment I got a new shot at the doctor I went to the dentist he cleaned my teeth and made my pussy tighter he hooked me up it's gonna be able to do that at home with your own printer you're going to be able to figure out of it printed artificial vagina

just like wait tighter you gonna hit the right Keys Apple One Click you know and your vagina just going on you gotta have chips in your body that tell your body what to do that's a hundred percent there's going to be artificial blood that's a hundred percent Nanobots those little their devising these tiny little itsy-bitsy blood cell sized machines this is what they're going to eventually have some day that will fight cancer so if you have like a cancerous growth in your body they'll be

able to send these machines through your bloodstream to attack the sick areas of your body mean we're going to see some fucking nutty shit in our day and a man turning into a woman is like the least of the Nutty shit if we could stay alive we could all in this room stay alive to a hundred we're gonna see some shit but he hasn't cut this dick off yet Caitlin which where did you say that like someone's question is it you're in the middle of a conversation in your own head and he introduced it to us

the farm then come back and see me hasn't gone yet this is a trick by the wife this is a trick this is a fucking trick ratings something's going on some may try to trick you got his face fixed all right that's nice so surgery Stallone are we got to face facts about not like this like he went through feminization surgery where they like shortened his jaw and change his lips and the whole deal have you seen a recent photos look at the poultry and that's great vanity

across the street Big Mike he put a pussy in there and he hasn't changed his jollies out there sucking dick two nights a week yet a pussy in there yeah but so you turn to know Big Mike is on the construction still I don't really think he's got a bald spot he's up on the wig over it but his roommate Leslie did everything she got the cheeks to face so she was a man yes okay see this is leave these photos like look at the the these photos like a close-up

onto the face like right there like you he had a shitload of things done but me seem like I'm high maintenance guy oh yeah he's crazy as fuck well here's the thing man you know when we were when we were watching that interview when he got interviewed by what was it Diane Sawyer's I wasn't interviewed him

what he was loving all the attention he was loving it was loving the opportunity to talk about himself and talk about having the hold up that pull that image up Jesus Christmas I love I was trying to hide those giant canoe feet yeah that's what the fuck out of here with those size 38 flippers I must got an upskirt thing going fucking Munich feet that motherfucker jumped in Munich and shit look at him it's just it's very strange man I mean that that is a very feminine looking

or woman Joey you want to transition I should say you know mean in transition she's very feminine looking like well they've done their face if they if she really looked like that so this is the thing when you're looking at something like this this has been through more fucking computers I mean more screens and filters and we all know that we all know about the difference between what someone would look like in real life and someone look like in like a super well done photograph like that it's a big difference

but hey man good for her if that's what she wants to do now same thing we were talking about before about gay marriage good for her if this is what she enjoys I'm glad that she can be on the cover of a magazine and it could be a fun time for everybody you know

when we were kids this could have never happened no never

it's weird though right and it did happen when we were kids it happened because I watched a reporter when it happened and happen another country and we just didn't know about it happen like in Germany or somewhere really somebody like a 1940 and some American did it we just there was no internet right so we were very hip to it you know when I was in Seattle young comic we had read Arena done the operation read it was a Japanese man that became a Japanese woman but they she died because first of all she had a lot of psychological problems

came after the surgery I loved Reno Reno let me fall off my first fucking head shot I never forgot that man I pay the back and everything Rita died because I had was to fucking big from being a man what trial balance was off after the surgery a balances off Rita of those comments how's that possible what about Brad Williams like if I become it's like a bread becomes a woman his head's gonna be fucking ginormous and his balance is going to be off from time to time

something happened how they did the surgery to him to her that her balance got taken off she died because she suffered a fall at a disco and bang the head Rita always an open mic comic that used to run with us in Seattle and she'd come out she had the nails I mean nobody's gonna fuck Rita oh trust me nobody ever thought of fucking read uh my hands were fucking hard it looked like Herman Munster hands she had the nails and she would get nachos and then she go to get a drink and we take

nachos and she yell she had a very feminine voice I guess darling but she look at his getting notches she'll put him down it was fucking scary and to make money the government or the doctors gave her a certain amount of those a month and she became a pillar attic because the pain from the surgery plus all the psychological and everything like she you know she she was Raising like the for you know when I met Rita in 95 read it was 50

I already you know I'm saying so I was 20 something maybe 30 so she was telling me that when she was growing up my mother and father would beat her when she would tell them that she was really a woman wow like it was just too much abuse in her life and then when she finally became a woman that was so much baggage you know I remember doing blow with it like in talking to her like at the comedy club and they're telling me you know as creepy as it was that you know she was she was

to go see a shrink three times a week still what was what was the big that she's talking about what the big issue was the transition was at the transition transition you know but she ate a lot of bills she did a lot of powder she had tons of money I don't know where she got the money from I know she sold drugs she even came down here to see me once when I was no I had to come historic in 99 and she died shortly after that she fell off the stage and wanted to a calm and died

and with joking around it was true her head was too big there's a lot of anything it has to do with her pills in fact she's taking pills is that the more likely I've been had I've been I've been in contact in my life maybe maybe two or three transgenders man you know like on the streets when I was a kid in New York City or something

and something was always missing you know I'm saying he would happily did the surgery something is always not right Gerald and they just did something major major to it's a major step we're just rolling it around with these fucking idiots and they going to start running around like a tattoo that's the part of it that I don't like that now every time somebody feels feminine they're gonna want to have this fucking surgery you know I'm saying like one day you feel confused or whatever you know this is the

but I don't like I get all this gender stuff and I get it man that you're a woman that you were born feeling this but in today's society we got too many sheep that too many weak Souls out there dog hmm you know it's still argue about you know it's not good and those are the people I worry about hmm those people that you know you ever go somewhere and you hear people talking you know who's there just to try to be there it's like if I want I'll never forget this I went to a restaurant once the Santa Monica and there was a guy behind me

damn I was eating I said nobody's this gay

nobody could be this guy this guy was not born like this this with this guy is something that he does to be accepted he doesn't even know what he's doing in six years he won't be gay no more and six years you'll have a wife and two kids living and I don't wanna be a farmer but he's just doing this to fit in this is like really I have a lot of that I feel a lot of that with people today in our society a lot I feel people are not completely in there's some people for there's not people in there not it there's some get there that's why I tell people before you go

that fucking think it over whether it's hanging out with devil worshippers hanging out with drug dealers whatever the fuck you want to do because once you're in you're in you're gonna end up kidnapping somebody with a machine gun don't tell me what the fuck I know I know when somebody's faking the funk there's people that I wanted when I was a kid Jimmy Bolzano was my brother I knew he was gay I knew he was swinging dick but it took no fucking genius to tell you that my brother I grew up in his house with his other three brothers you couldn't tell he

was gay if he came to me today as and I'm a transgender I would hug him and go dogs it's a great great I can tell you where dick suck I didn't had no doubts in my heart that you weren't gonna suck dick even though you were fucking girls in the neighborhood because she was so good-looking you know I'm saying you grew up with people that you look at him sometimes you go to the store and you see people that you go it's like when you see Eddie Murphy in person you like it this guy could be a fucking go-go dancer

well you see anymore I always said Eddie Murphy should win an Academy Award because when he's in the movie he's a man of many men when you see Eddie Murphy in person you like

the rumors could be true there's something about him and I mean mad at me I'm one of his biggest fans I'm just telling the truth that as a man you're around other fucking men and you know who ain't right you know who you might be able to talk them into something a dick at 3:00 in the morning we all have that person that we go home we love that person we accept that person but you know one night of you have a pill and a quaalude you might be able to talk this guy there's certain creepy guy in Boogie Nights yeah you knew there's people like that that they walk around you know the

suck a dick if they had to the gun to a tight spot one night okay they spend that night in Hollywood I really I felt bad about what I was thinking I felt this guy was just doing it so he could bowl with these guys on Tuesday nights you know 20 years ago what am I the only retard in the room and hache when lesbian the scheana did she not she was dating fucking Ellen you're in that one fan well she wanted to become famous right so she became a lesbian and she decorated because false and now what has she got looking up hands okay the husband you know

with dick I think people a lot of people move know Holly's every society and just to fit in they'll do shit no do shit and they realize well this is where I fucking got they do it man we live in a sheep fucking society today we're all trying to be the same person if you look around we're all looking the same when you go to Silver Lake and do Milo and you get on stage look at the people in the 80% of people look the same they all got the same fucking glasses the same tight jeans the same time

will the Chinese sign everybody wanted me to fuckin say me everybody's back to say you know you wake up in the morning walk into a studio for an audition what does everybody have in front of them a couple what Starbuck Starbuck and if you ain't got Starbucks you ain't invited to the fucking party feeling she Starbucks raise that price is 20 percent again did they re how much more you got to pay for coffee they got you hooked they got your hook they want that money it's not it's not coffee everybody got coffee it's the status of going

to Starbucks oh my God yes it's status oh my God how many times you say who's impressed you go to Starbucks over the cop I got a coffee bean that better croissant it does it matter you don't know muffins too yeah but when we were growing up in Boston a Denver you live that your grandfather's in Newark people have a little fucking blue cup that's in coffee and then went to a diner and you said give me what was it what was it called remember these have the Greek stuff right like little greek guys what's it called what's it called the coffee media

what do you how do you want a coffee regular yeah regular what's regular Greg million sugar and two coffees right yeah but she's right now look what we have but we didn't carry the coffee cups like a budweis it's like when you go out at night you take a picture with somebody what do they always got their head put the fucking beer down but nobody could put the beer down God forbid they don't party out God forbid they don't part yeah let's put the bus so they can tell I'm drinking what the fuck but the bead down your fuck same thing with coffee that Society everybody wants to fuck him

be cool and drink that fucking coffee gonna have you ever had someone look at your company of what is that fucking Coffee Bean what you can't afford Starbucks bro yo step up no Starbucks but you can why would you wait in Donuts bro I would you lay down that line we 7-Eleven got the same fucking calm now I know it's the same listen that Brazilian bold will keep you up to three days that's what Isis drinks don't be my fucking business with the crisis drink some coffee fuck you they drink fucking Brazil you have a drink with Jillian you ever drink was zillion Bowl

fucking Dunkin Donuts fuck you fuckin doughnut fuck why everybody call you dumb motherfuckers that pay $8 look at me antibiotics and antifungals donuts and get that resilient fucking bold and come on that's liquid fucking meth look at the fuck out of here I can doughnuts I agree with shit but not seven I don't even like Duncan doughnuts because that's the 7-Eleven no not the 7-Eleven the old

Brazilian bold now they got it all fucked up I don't go for Dunkin Donuts no more Dunkin Donuts you go for you don't go for 700 the huh Dunkin Donuts in the sea know by the time I drive they'll crash the fucking car trying to make a profit the fucking house and make the grip of the house what do you think I did I tell you about the Keurig K-Cup s'right why do you think I mean yeah Jamie get the manicured cake probably why do you think have them still right on or in the car what do you think I'll leave The Comedy Store so fast that right cuz I gotta catch my Starbucks by men that I turn into a pumpkin

you drinking at midnight oh my God you at the flat white a small one at midnight so you go right down the street to the one that's near the mamakara is that a magnolia Magnolia and Riverside it's open till 12 o'clock right and the drive it is open till midnight I got up this morning at 4:15 I got none to do I should write to the drive-ins open at 4:30 you know one of the things that I would do when I was writing as I make a fucking pot of coffee at night like you could be like midnight I start writing I'll make a pot of coffee that's why I know I'm little work

I'm gonna you know big fucking French Press where you said you got the white chocolate mocha I get the flat white I don't dream the whole flat white chocolate mug you gotta get out of here right no no I'm cool don't 15-20 minutes I love the flat white from it took effect Echo it's like a fake Cafe Con Leche I'll drink a small you know I'm saying but if I'm home I'll crop that motherfucker I'll do a double Bustelo they can you can you bleep right after that all right like not that I did cocaine for 30 a cup of coffee don't do nothing until Joey that's a double Bustelo know what

I think I have ADD or some shit because sometimes I'll have a cup of coffee and I'll get sleepy yeah yeah what goes up must come down there's a dumbass must come down must come down Tanya mother come on the Riverside that are painted pony let them stick it to get things and yeah you got no home

Spinning Wheel alone that's Chicago isn't it that's a good fucking shit no I don't think it's is it Chicago maybe goddamn I don't know is it Three Dog Night Chicago it's got to be one of those fuckers hmm Spinning Wheel Spinning Wheel sorry

you guys are listen to the new Apple music radio station know it's interesting because it's spinning wheel no fuck this dude on KTLA said to stay away from it so let's Sweat and Tears Joey Blood Sweat and Tears yeah Blood Sweat and Tears that's crazy

what goes up must come down Spinning Wheel spins 1970 let me see what year Jamie

wow

you know not listen to the horns on this brother listen to the whole put this back again listen to these horns because we didn't we grew up on guitars ladies and gentlemen for you fucking morons with the DJ and the do the little Chinese dude listen to the horns on this

that's the whole song that's good keep it up

wow I Hold On

where are they it shines within your mind are you kidding me God I haven't heard this song In Forever Goosebumps is the appearances that was close are you fucking kidding me

what a brilliant put a fucking jam on dog well you gotta put the video on so I can show you motherfuckers in the book by Aerosmith he describes when he met his daughter for the first time at a concert he was on stage and his daughter yeah the chick that's an arm again he met her for the first time know that dog no she didn't know who her father was it was between Todd

runner in Todd Glass that there's between Todd Rundgren and Stephen Taj Stephen tollan them her mother took her to see I will spin she goes that's my dad put up Todd Rundgren hello it's me listen to this chant mmm well last time you heard this I haven't heard this in Forever Listen to I don't even know how it goes oh my God this is when singing is when you had to have a voice dog just going to knock kick you off at YouTube channels nothing's how YouTube know yeah

yeah they don't listen to us we might have to edit this to the Kidz Bop don't put the videos a lot of work for this guy it's not that simple because I see the availability looks like

this is him this is suicide music yeah Canada is a back stop it now there's a pageant this tie rod is tremendous yeah this is one of those songs you listen to have your grandmother's house got to get outside for a walk is a bad Jam junk I gotta get out of the house as your fuck everyone's like it's snowing out I don't care I gotta get I gotta walk looking to be dressed like an eagle thinks is a bird you had to see this was that guy now

I always wondered what happened to these guys guys are like rock stars and then they just stopped they just stopped like what is wrong I guarantee this guy had so much talent this guy wrote for people you guys are fucking he gets residuals from all this dough on the radio you know what all this classic rock and all these serious and the same money we get from what's that chick who says it's a check once a quarter for I shit on the radio they get hmm and then bold rice to be friends with a guy that was a radio police okay

was the radio police and what he did was he made sure that you got paid for your stuff the radio Polly was there he worked for the radio police and they have a badge no he done with that he was a white nice guy mad at the car wash what's in here Keurig K-Cup some hash oil marijuana and a K-Cup form gonna put some sugar in this motherfucking on you don't do y'all my sweet enough the universe it experience very sweet know what we talked about

we tried the liquid Stevia we got more of it oh we got sugar for you yeah take some sugar liquid Stevia that's dangerous like I drop her yeah II let's do like a one or two drops it's so strong Stevia could really fuck up a drink if you're not paying attention hello it's me yeah well you know the fuck what you gonna do what's this sugar bitch I got I'm Cuban I got a sweet tooth you gonna give me two packets I got diabetes how many track is to use fucking 18 raw sugar

how many visits a half a cup of coffee how many sugars would you put in there normally I don't fucking the raw sugar is kind of what would you do if I wasn't here Stevia shit no it's broken no the other shit that's why I use I use the sister sweetness that that your boy sent me Stevia yeah yeah fuck he sent me yeah you sugar at all but yet you're using for because the fuck you guys I'm partying with you motherfuckers you're saying we are partying once you drink that once you drink that oh I gotta study of me fucking

one of the Headless I did my first morning joining 9 a.m. just did you ever fuck you been oh I wanted to talk to you about that talked your Periscope shirt I got I'm good I'm good this tastes like dick you know that tastes like suck a dick I don't know what the fuck you're talking about it's not supposed to be good they like to be a good unit except the one I drank a star it's fucking good it's Jello drink that this is dick no nose let's taste like a guy that smoke bottle no you suck

his dick this because I love you stick a coffee it was various salads and smoke weed hello it's me what's the story um you Periscope show you every more you do in the joint what is it say it again with some all the morning joint with Uncle Joey about I do it about five after a of the baby let's me go five after 8:00 in the morning yeah you stand outside for like a couple minutes and just to Paris three four bowls two different weeds maybe a little hashish and I wake the people up I give some motivation

a tional terms I tell the people that grab that dick like today the the saying of the day was either going to suck your dick or they're going to suck your dick either way you win you I'm saying wow that's really clever did you write that out sure and Confucius says you gotta suck my dick today or your son my Victim up suck my dick somewhere along the line dicks are going on that's how you have to leave the house in the morning when I leave the house I'm scared I gotta fucking get myself fired up in the shower and let people know that when I'm going out there some reason the suck your dick today whether they want to or not

scared of no I'm scared of fucking are you going some of this Droid you ever have them delete any of your stuff know I don't know I don't know nothing about Periscope I just do them and I fucking move on with my life

there's a fun you're showing up at some mad mother fucking sunshine in your heart and your ball sack and suck your dick to suck your dick that's their option so because this is how you wake up buddy what's up with the chitty-chat you know we've been waiting for 20 fucking minutes now you want to show up a day later dollar fucking short let's get this fucking party started we're going to open up today with the with the zombie weed by the way you know you know okay I

I know exactly what I'm doing tomorrow I'm setting my alarm clock and I'm going to be a part of this I usually watch you write when I'm going to bed did you do a really early sometimes sometimes you know what I'm gonna do man I wanna get one of those iPhone things for the car you know yeah you got one that like illegal by the way look at Great Peril it's illegal to do it on the have a windshield mountain in California windshield when she'll business in front of you or anything on your windshield so you can do that on the windshield you doing - right well you know you could do

what icon the vents they have won the rapid advance and right like that but it's not it's not illegal at Periscope while you drive I think it is definitely think of this really yeah because you're kind of not paying attention to the road you are if you just turn it on while you're driving at that view if you're parked you turn it on and you go okay it's on here we go we're going to work I think it stopped you from that's fine yeah you could drive like that with GoPros because that's how those shows get made yeah like drive that drive Channel on YouTube I was with those guys that Matt Farah dude he's got all these GoPros inside was cross you could definitely do that II

all the time but I delete them right after down it's like I don't know because it's cloudy shit bam

that's like the fucking forest fire they're fighting in Big Bear right now they deleted one of my periscopes why because I have this thing where I eat shitty food in the shower and like review it when I was doing Taco Bell like I had like a Nacho Bell Grande and I was just drinking all the water and like like a soup I got some glue because it was too gross I think what the fuck you eating food I know Bible either censoring there

I think my I don't know why but it was available for like an hour and then they just pulled it and I don't know if it was I heard the people upset at you that you're wasted water so I've six minute shower and I'm taking a real shower while I'm eating yeah but you I'm not defending or attacking you right people are upset you were wasting water well I understand those complaints but I when I when I do a shower scope I tried not to shower for four days straight so it's can argue with that ladies and gentlemen is off your fucking high horse how many minutes

shower can I take what's 5 make special don't know who fucking shuts down the golf course when's that happening because until then fuck yourself because they're using millions of gallons of water until you're shutting down the golf course fuck off because that's that's a hundred percent for entertainment a hundred hundred percent he's at least taking a convert or E effort of entertainment and a shower I take two three shows a day and I take my time I get this loofah nice I got the asshole you'll forget to live with the stick that's the way I made an asshole loofah dog made it a little Lu food

tip just to wash the Barnacles around the muffler sure you should develop get stuck in there anyone even no no I did the call Alaska badly that my I didn't want to go in there with a dirty-ass know he's a Chevy motor for your colonoscopy dog pretty soon cocksucker I got a finger in my butt know that the finger when this the camera look around doctor to check around they have to look around how bad are you comfortable very uncomfortable yeah they don't even make eye contact oh these look around your asshole yeah I'm avoiding shoulder surgery I've got

got some tears some small tears in my labrum so I've been going through Regina King at physical therapy and all this different shit for it so my latest health issue it's fascinating shit to feel your joints given out and to realize I might have to get fixed I'm have to get this one fixed it's not quite at the point where I got to got to get it fixed I think I could rejuvenate it to the point like it's weird because it's still strong but it just gets sore after I use it in this apparently some bone chips in there from jiu-jitsu

my knee hurts but what Americana somewhere like right knee hurts again the one I just had a huge should you should look into that Regina King shit was Regina Kane was Jenna Kings of the blood spinning procedure they take your blood outs with a Kobe Bryant all these guys used to go to Germany for now they have a place in Santa Monica and it just massive and wasn't like they got to take that they take out some blood that's when we have a problem they take out some blood gotta to whatever tube is you gotta to know they got a few to know they need and their big tubes to ignore it

going to Big tubes and a couple small to get that bass drum are fucking compressor and they fucking bang that on him blood fuck you that's why I didn't go to the thing the Salvation Army 16 ounces of blood and can they get ahold of your blood they gotta go what you've been doing my tribe you know what I try to give blood once a month smells like weed I go to the doctor with some fake fucking excuse because people that's why women don't get heart attacks as they bleed once a month but that's why they change up there

fucking blood make me fucking blood that's why women don't get heart attacks because every month they need iron to make no fucking blood but we don't bleed like women so that's why it's good with Meg go get blood so is that your body Rejuvenation new fucking blood even if it's Fourth Buck announcers who you think you're dealing with is how it's true then Duty did Coke would bleed more of their noses so they would probably live longer be talking about telling you right now that the reason women don't die as many heart attacks has matters because they don't believe that the fucking monkey I think the reason why they probably don't die as

because they don't date as many women so if you're over 40 go give blood once a month just a couple tube so your body starts from scratch I'm tired Joe wrote I think when women are not dating women it saves a lot of stress it's good point and I think with this gay marriage thing you're gonna see I rise in heart attacks in women lesbian once we get the bill from the lawyer the alimony what fucking out bitch get a job I'm not here

other guy didn't give birth to you you didn't fucking kids with me God damn it Melissa Etheridge is really funny when she was talking about that she gives alimony to two different chicks I go what happened she goes bitches are crazy support Lissa Etheridge is a badass bitch she's bad adequately lady I'm not sure that with all due respect I call you a badass bitch I call anybody I love a badass bitch looking badass bitch

eh that's that's a hundred percent respectful way yet this week you sought the theater Jesse I'm the car theater at the MGM with Tommy Segura and Tony Hinchcliffe and Vegas night before the big fights I'm gonna miss you guys I miss you too where you at I'm at the Atlanta Improv cool I heard that's a good spot by spot Brian camels are King he's a king there yeah but they don't have the punch line anymore but they did a punchline comedy night at a fucking backyard the other day that's some gated community they have some crazy community

Nam and somewhere outside Atlanta it's like one of those engineered communities they have all these Recreations and to gated community but they have this the punchline had a punchline comedy night and all these people are sitting outside and they decided have a comedy night at their you say the punch line is not open anymore so I don't know what happened what they did to the building I think they lost their lease I'm assuming but they've been there forever ever forever or they might have decided it doesn't make sense to keep the lease I don't know exactly what happened yeah

they're looking for another spot Green Room sucked anyway know I was kind of cool that was the Green Room that had a little sign on the wall said quit trying to be Hicks yeah but y'all got trapped there like because he had the only way to enter or exit The Green Room was walking through the whole entire audience that's also the Green Room where Seth Petrucelli fought Kimbo Slice and I called the fight like right before it happened like his Ken Shamrock at injured warming up for the first fight and then all of a sudden instead of Ken Kimbo Slice out of fight Seth pictures Ellie and I want one

it and as soon as I saw him like oh my God Seth petrucelli's gonna fuck him up like this is a terrible fight for him Petra's L he's a bad motherfucker so I watched that has like this is a terrible match up and everybody's like you're crazy kimbos a world beater and like dude you wait to see what happens here and it happened within like 8 seconds just as soon as if I start Petrucelli knocks him out and I go see I called it pet Seth Pech is always bad motherfucker but I was like but I didn't call it you would never say this this would we would hide this

it was a crazy little green room and does a good little spot yeah I mean just walking to it so I wish I was a back door or something to it yeah walking suck but that was part of the fun of that club that was kind of wonky yeah you know is that weird wonky upstairs remember that weird spot to show it the manly beard God damn it I'm grow another beard I always died a slow death to that club

what's that I always die this loot now guarantee you when people know what the fuck you're doing when I used to bring you that people know what to make of you all might they're so confused well you were in his position back then we're either they got it or they didn't know but I wasn't working hard then either I was going up that coked-up like the night before not even feeling it you know when you have Coke in your blood for the night before dog does it depress you the next day now what

the pressure it's like you know you got high like I would get high Like Mondays Wednesdays and then the fucking weekend I was coming you gotta warm up you know and the first night you having like a good show there's nothing have a good show but then I got a hold of that shit and Friday it was rough and Sally was even rough because you more you more Des communicated your more Des has way from this collected as the word so I would go up there die and have to see those people and I fucking hated them and they hated me you know it was

so for the longest time for you that cocaine was a real like a real anchor around your neck 30 fucking years I was telling my wife this morning the whole 90s you forgot the whole 90s how did you how did you kick it high kick it man told you I just kicked it I don't fucking know I just can't I just didn't want I didn't want listen bro like I told you my I have a fucking Revenge G

okay it's you rather fucking get 10 Dix up your ass to have somebody come to you and say Joey Diaz died from an overdose I was not going to let that I was not going to let people come up to you and go see I told you and I definitely want my wife to find me on the floor listen you can fly me on the floor Red Bank and never handle read them will never be the same again if he found me on the floor never read bam would fucking God because he doesn't have that DNA and this poor guy you do you find anybody

the floor and be tough either deal I don't know what the thing about that be tough for you to kneel you're strong and I'm saying you would put in perspective a lot quicker than Red Bank click Red Band would take two years talking about him like he's not right there are not making again I'm not saying something bad Red Bank where fans got a great Soul when I first met Redman I would talk this kid would leave the room he didn't know what to make them the Columbus days yeah yeah when I first he didn't know so what I'm saying is this some people

who could find the guy on the floor and live with it and there's some people who can't digest it they can't I didn't want two things I didn't want to Terry finding me on the floor I definitely want to die in a hotel room on the fucking road right and that was my main playground you know the embarrassing us and we'll get you in a hotel room naked that's why I'm jumping jerk-off juice on your leg hopefully and some chick named after 3:00 in the morning and then people going to say I told you Joe Rogan that was never gonna happen my lifestyle and my lifetime that was not gonna happen I was not

hold different color I couldn't give them the satisfaction even after the fucking fact that's how deep my revenge genome runs wow that's hilarious so you you got clean because you wanted to get back at the people that would be of would have been happy if you died oh please would have been happy if I died from that they would have loved to look at you in the face and go I told you so there's people that live for that shit that once they have an opinion they live by let me tell you something though I said I told you so

oh shit load of times now I get to say I told you so now I get to say I Told You So to a lot of fucking agents I've had some I had some stupid conversations with people back in the day stupid they're trying to tell me you were in town today you weren't funny I'm like you need to shut the fuck I was just talking about listen man when you're on the drug when you're on any drug you get stuck in that emotional state where you started that drug with that drug really became something else for you listen we do when I go right when I leave now I go to the pharmacist and I get out of our stuff

so great I want out of our three times a day Santana bar and of ours a steroid the light steroid to get the burn victim okay I've heard of that okay but once I start seeing that thing then I become someone else once you start coming up to me and going Joey we love your arms and we love your back becomes an emotional thing okay so now I'm shooting Decker now I'm straight I'm chasing that dragon that feeling well when you start doing you do a fucking line of coke because you're an emotional fucking wreck okay when you do it you don't even know what a times you become an emotional wreck from any drug those pills

so for me I start I got stuck in motion lie the anger was stuck in me you can't move forward we've had this discussion a move forward well you've always said that it like it shuts off your soul shut us yeah that's the way you described it as like you just became a blank sure there's no I wasn't happy I wasn't sad I wasn't mad I wasn't any of the above I had no emotions you fake the funk anyway in those days you still were Joey didn't know I can still throw some fucking heat if you caught me after two days if I sat down

and with a notebook but it wasn't told you know you still have a lot of talent well there's still something about you that that just it was about a you catching it I remember one time we were together Rascals the West Orange Western yeah Rascals in West Orange and it was at the time when you made the transition you know how Nicole or Caitlyn Jenner came to that was a transition there was a transition where you went from Joey Diaz the guy wants to be

be a comedian to Joey Diaz a great comedian and a nice I watched it happen and happen really quickly that was what was weird it was like you have this period of time we were real hit and miss you know and you know if you went down you went down hard and you would go that sometimes you would bomb like multiple sets in a row and just wasn't wasn't click click and then boom you hit on it figured out what a fucking what it was and it almost like you release something like you had like a demon inside you pulled it out and you have released it and then also

you are crushing I remember I think it was Tripoli and I were in the back by the the back hallway and it was like one of the times where you just really started crushing and Tripoli was like Joey Diaz on another level I go yeah man like what the fuck like you just caught it you like you caught a wave and all the sudden you were surfing and then from then on you figured it out it was crazy like you went from being like a really funny guy off stage and an occasionally funny guy on stage but often

eager to a monster just Monster like there was nights in the or we would destroy and we were falling out of the back stitch we would leave like laughing so hard we would go down the back stairs out into the hallway and there's really two or three guys slapping their leg laughs be dying on style of that original room was the original room bring something out of you we're out of time zone oh wow that we're out of time where I love you man I'd like you to help me out anytime Rachel fun at our fourth of July barbecue

great to see you young Jamie yuck yuck I'm gonna go home now take the swimming that's always a beautiful last daughter just as iook at everything first time she met me she was yuck this is Justice he kissed me and then she kissed but she's yet to everything you want to have some of this yuck but I showed her some ice cream and try all then I was our best friend yeah that was then now ice cream man Joey Diaz what is it the Periscope how do people get to it I don't know oh come on Twitter followers it yeah I always win it up on Twitter 5 units

what time in the morning five after eight five after 8:00 you gotta check that out get you get your day started off with that of course mad flavor on Twitter red ban on Twitter shows coming up next week in Toronto and this week Wednesday Comedy Store Steve oh good googly moogly all right friends will see you soon bye bye guys love you guys

all right friends thanks for tuning to podcast thanks to our sponsors thanks to on it.com go to ONN it use the code word Rogan and save 10% off any and all supplements thank you to LegalZoom go to legalzoom.com and use the referral code Rogan at checkout to save yourself some cash thanks to Dollar Shave Club the best way to buy razors stop fucking around with all that usual bullshit of going to a drugstore and having them open up

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so that there was a story about him recently former Baltimore police officer who speaking out against all the craziness from corruption and all the shit that he saw them when he was on a job brave men we're going to find out what the fuck's going on tomorrow so that will be tomorrow and until then enjoy your lives much low it's 4:20 ha ha accidentally 420 as I'm saying I love the fuck I do people see you soon bye bye big kiss