#1296 - Joe List

May 14, 2019

Joe List is a stand up comedian. He co-hosts a podcast called "Tuesdays w/Stories" with Mark Normand. You can also see him on "The Standups" Season 2 now streaming on Netflix.

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top of the homepage and type in JRE that stamps.com and enter J R E my guest today is a hilarious stand-up comedian he has a half hour special on Netflix and another half hour he's done for comedy Central's well please welcome the Great and Powerful Joe list

The Joe Rogan Experience trained by day Joe Rogan podcast by now

don't lift ladies and gentlemen Joe list already and I'm already gonna do it like one of the morning DJ guys I appreciate Joe I hear you're in town for the funny fuck I am I'm doing the funny fuck this weekend tonight through Sunday excellent actually you are working with me tonight yeah two sold-out shows at the Hollywood improv I appreciate it I'm excited yeah it's gonna be fun it's going to be the machine Bert Kreischer the bird and Cheeto Santino Andrew Santino you know Andrew I know I know and what I don't know if I don't know him personally just no one goes basil areas yeah yeah she'd be a good old fucking time yeah I'm excited thanks for having my pleasure my pleasure how long you in town for I leave tomorrow morning here on Sunday I got here Saturday actually I stayed down Manhattan Beach what are you doing but Posh hanging out with a people by the beach it was night was down the airport my wife is here and I said let's go down and Manhattan Beach for lunch and we were enjoying ourselves so we got a hotel and made love and walked on the beach mid love ya must really love her if you made love

do I went to a party once in Manhattan Beach in the guy collected toasters and I was like what is this and he's like I just collect toasters I'm like okay from all different time periods like he had a engine toaster from like the 50's with all this patina on it and then he had modern toasters but he I think he was trying too hard you know those some dudes just we're bowling shoes and shit they just try too hard to be whacking yeah it was he like a hipster was like an old there was a girl he was a guy who's trying to fuck my girlfriend and she wanted to go to this party so learn all right wow I think she was an actress and I think he was in the movie business magic getting cooked by a toaster collector yeah almost did well wasn't it was one of them squirrely deals where she was like so I'm so not interested in him I just want to go to this party for networking I was a young lad I just moved to Hollywood it did not know the ways of this goofy fucking town yet

yeah I hadn't hadn't exercised myself from Hollywood in particular you know I was still doing the thing acting going on additions and shit so it's like you know when you first get here you like what is this especially in the 90s it was super squirrel because everybody was trying to get a development deal everybody was trying to get a sitcom and they kind of like let you think that that was the only way right have to get a sitcom want to be like Roseanne what you want to be like Tim Allen what about Seinfeld he got a sitcom you should get a sitcom with Kamala get a sitcom and so everybody was out here just trying to do the acting thing I did it for a while and after a while he like these people are not worth it but you did get a sitcom right yeah I got a couple of them and I was on a couple of them it seems like fun it's fun stand-ups more fun yeah it's not something I'd be interested in doing but if you could do a sitcom with all stand-ups that would be the shit that would be the shit like if you you could do a sitcom with really good writers who are cool and all the people on the show we're stand-ups

that would be fucking monstrous it's not usually like that no and it seems very what do you call it corporate and you got to do this and this and a lot of rules and stuff it seems like podcasts are out there trying to make money you know and they can't make money if people do things and get people in trouble they say things get people angry or someone calls up human resources and Joe list was talking about his deck yeah the craft service lady heard it and now there's a lawsuit I think with podcast now most of us comedians with podcast have no chance of getting any corporate job I don't think that's true really I get offered shit all the time I think that we don't need it though right I think it's it actually will get in the way have you ever written on a sitcom no written anything when you write it there's a trap that Comics fall into that are good writers they get this sitcom writing gig and it's a sweet gig you get paid thousands of dollars a week you build your bills are covered so you feel good but you're never going on the road you're in town

all the time he just doing sets around town so you're pretending that you're still a comic right but you really a sitcom writer who kind of like has a hobby you doing stand-up and you never develop on the road and there's a bunch of guys do you know Owen Smith I'd that's another guy I don't know I've met him a couple times fucking hilarious yeah one of the best comics in the world and he's just been spending so many years doing these sitcoms like I saw him one night at the comic store I'm like how the fuck is this guy not gigantic like how does he not have a Netflix our that everyone's talking about how is it everybody not trying to book him places it's just because he's been doing this this sitcom writer thing he's trying to break out of that now though Tommy John against another guy you know Tommy John I've heard of him he's one of the best comedians

I think there is he's a writer but he's been writing on a TV show but he's happy he likes he's got two kids and it keeps them off the road but to me it's a bummer is a comedy fan cause I'm like ah I want to see you our but he still I think he still works a little bit Yeah Mitch Hedberg had a really funny bit about that about how comedy like when your convenience the only job or someone asks you to do another job yeah yeah yeah there was some yeah somebody when I first moved to New York there was a guy that was like do you do any writing and I was like why did all that right back I wrote all that but I that's why I never liked writing other than stand because stand up I can write all day and then go do it that night whether I'm writing like a movie or a TV show I'm a I'm wasting my this is going to get made this is not my therapist says that's not the way that's not what should inspire you to write yeah you're right because it's a way to express yourself your therapist is right but then again if you are writing something and nothing happens how is fucking stupid get it feels it feels wasteful could be writing write jokes I do on stage yeah you you just get into that sort of

thing where you just like what am I doing here and then it steals your thunder yeah I feel that way all the time unrelated Dominic's life yeah what am I doing here you are right right you sit down and write a little bit Yeah I try to but a lot of times a lot of times I'll start writing and then I end up just jerking off jerking off yeah yeah yeah I do that less than I use well Louis said that he he kept his he had one laptop that could not connect to the internet he had a yeah yeah yeah he still does that but if you do that like what if you want to Google something while you're writing well I do that a lot and I'll use as excuse I'll be writing and then I'm like what's the origin let me Google that for research and then before you know what I'm just going to whisk it up yeah exactly yeah you gotta have discipline that's all I give myself an hour I have one hour that I have to write and then if I enjoy it I keep going but one at for one hour there is nothing going on but writing see that's ambitious I have to go literally I'm not even joking like 10 minutes on my way

do 10 minutes and usually I'll go a little longer because I'm like all right all right well I'll do like 30 minutes and I'm like then you can treat yourself about a child I've I am too but I found that I mean obviously we came in here we were me and Jeff were embroiled in a quick Death Match yeah we wouldn't stop to say hi so I said hi briefly I appreciate I felt bad in minutes I feel like I walked in and you fucking you a little ugly well I got here early and I was gonna I'm always compulsively early everywhere good I spend a lot of time just doing laps around places and because I'm so much anxiety but I parked and was like I'll just sit in my car for 10 minutes and then a big came out and was just looking at me and so then I was like I think that this must mean I have to get out of the car yeah he's armed so I got out oh is he oh great course I'm terrified but yeah so I got here early I was on camera but I would have showed up right it yeah it doesn't matter all right we shouldn't have snuck in that extra game it's just we get the problem is you

you play one game and then it gets got like will play for a half-hour later 100 points a hundred deaths and then it gets intense and then if one guy beats the other guy gives them a drubbing then the other guy wants revenge and then you have to put that second right match yeah it's addictive then you start off your day with to ass-kickings it's like jerking off a hundred deaths yeah if you start off your day with to jerk off sessions like man I have a lot of catching up to do a phoner make this a productive day I you still jerking off a lot of course I feel like I don't jerk off that much that's well I have a wife and we have sex but here when that she's not a Wells when she's away then you jerk-off I'll jerk off a little bit but I have less less than I used to it's something wrong with me I can still get my vagina hard by just does not I'm not as interested nothing wrong with that man but when she died when I'm with her I'm very interested yeah yes yes I get it but in the your free time you've got other shit on your mind yes you're focused

I'm focused on about 5,000 things at once yeah me too yeah world of being a comedian yeah that's a lot yeah it's Louis idea is a good idea on paper to like not not have anything connected to the internet well he has to this I think about doing this now he has two phones like a flip phone that like 12 people have the number mmm and then he's like a smartphone that he'll leave behind so like his kids can call them mmm or is you know mother or whatever I'm one of the twelve but like you someone can get in touch with him and you can call 9-1-1 away but there's no Twitter Instagram whatever so that's like a decent idea is to phones because I'm fucked up with but then you know obviously you're friends with Ari he is the flip phone that's it Louis is a flip phone but what sucks is when you're hanging out with these people they still need the shit so they end up using your phone exactly like I'll go hiking with re whatever a trip and he's like pull up your Google Maps can I use your phone and they just has my phone how about have some discipline re yeah and a real phone I don't want anyone to have my fights not

have crazy or whatever touching my phone I don't like people holding my phone that's like someone wearing your underwear yes it's worse they can I borrow your underwear what you can eat you can take my underwear go raw dog she's put pants on yeah do you have to have underwear it's weird you don't need underwear you do I like I sprinkle a lot of tinkle yeah but if you have a good pair of underwear it's better than like if you weren't genes and shit and it sticks rub it against your zipper it's annoying yeah that's no good good point you need to undo I take it back I want to I want to stop on a walk back my darling I need some discipline just need some goddamn discipline he's such a child he does but I understand addiction and stuff it's difficult because why I have it where I'm like just don't look yeah but I'm obsessed with my phone well I am too but I'm not as bad as I used to be but re he realizes it he's like yeah it's not a loser he's a winner like you figure shit out here he's like all right I have a fucking problem and I'm not getting better at this so I'm just

get rid of it yeah get this fucking stupid flip phone that I could barely text on like whenever he texts me it's like a miracle like what he doing here with this caveman found yeah text message from the stupid fucking phone and then you have to keep it short because you can't send like a long thing because it comes in like three pages and out of order so it's like anyways I'm gay now and then it's like hey I just met it's all fucked up yeah it sucks but baby I'm thinking about doing it myself well the getting crazier now they're having these folding phones that the blowout like 10 inches have you seen these goddamn things no well Samsung released it but then they took it back because it started breaking but it's it's a it looks like a regular smartphone but it's fat and the reason why it's fat as you can open it up and it becomes a giant smartphone oh that seems kind of nice it's pretty nice if you need an iPad everywhere you go right but do you know I don't I use my phone also as like a computer I barely use my computer I just write emails and shit

my phone yeah I write very few emails on my phone I tried I'm trying to limit my hour on the phone to one hour when our for the whole day one hour of screen time yeah that's a it's doable recessive yeah why I forced it on my kid so I'm like okay if she gets an hour of screen time I should get an hour screen time right but you're also running a business that lecture you have a team but I'm also responsible right hmm yeah father people to pick up the slack it's a full-on addiction though it's fucked up like I will go on to play I'll fly across the country I'm on airplane mode if you can't even use it and I'll find myself just looking at photos just because I want the dopa me when the fuck is of just holding and moving my phone yeah it's really a problem it is a problem and I'm actually I've been doing a bit about it about the real problem is what's next the real problem is where does it go from here because it's got you hooked just looking at photos and text well I mean I walked in you couldn't say hello and you were crying

come quick so that might be the next step just something about stare at that screen when you get really intense your eyes start watering I swear to God I wasn't emotional no I thought your parents passed away as I pulled in yeah guys leave here I feel like a freak first of all sometimes we leave we'll have these battles that will go like two hours and then when I leave my fucking Hearts pounding my adrenaline's rushing like see you later man by and we leave we like what the fuck and I'm driving home while too its like literally like I just had a fight like you want to fight with somebody wow I don't have that yet it's it's a very very bad addiction but it's really fun to so part of me is like I'm enjoying the shit out of this it's really fun to play I think that's the case just enjoy it you got to enjoy whatever decision you're making this is good my therapist does free therapist tells me yeah well I'm dealing I have like a horrible diet my whole life the lady you eat well now I've chained I'm going through a bit of a medical situation right now I have a

yeah I came here to see what kinds of yeah kind of the fun the fun you lose a little weight whatever but it makes you Whimsical yeah I feel good and play basketball now like The Flintstones like Gail time today have AIDS yeah we all did that's why they're not here anymore what was I going to say I got another yellow the medical issue oh so I have this thing called silent reflux have you ever heard of this know it's acid reflux but instead they call it silent cause there's no heartburn it's different than GERD and just goes straight up into your like vocal cords into dear throats it's like fucking up my my shit oh no and I wake up like a cough and it's like into my they're calling it respiratory reflex now right like it's almost like asthma sinus shit and style-related yeah well I ate exclusively a drink Coke lot like three or four Cokes a day exclusively like a large pizza extra marinara chicken parm extra marinara Chipotle

hot sauce mmm chocolate chip cookies yeah garbage I like a garbage child I'm a garbage child grown up baby yeah so I just ate exclusively that I was in therapy and up but I knew I was like I'm getting fucking myself up I'm gonna die I'm gonna get cancer and die and my services like just at least accept your decision enjoy eating shit yeah he's like you're eating shit and not even enjoying it so what's the point and he's like accepting it would actually probably help you to eat healthier and I was like good point I'll just start enjoying it and that lasted 10 days and that's when the reflux started and I had to completely change my diet so I should have had that conversation 25 years earlier so now I just ate like shit without enjoying it and now I'm refluxing hmm and I can't eat any of that so I had to cut out everything so what did they tell you to eat now you have to cut out Dairy what do you what do you got now well going back to the doctor on Thursday then I'm seeing a specialist who like coined the phrase like a

bucks for a consultation but this point I'm like price I'm losing my mind so crazy is that the doctor could charge $1000 just talk to you well the other the first doctor I went to was an ENT and they do a thing which I think is fucked up there like I'm like I'm paying cat I don't have insurance I'm paying out of pocket they're like oh it's a 20% discount if you're paying out of pocket like like I'm at a record store like they're like we give you a discount if you pay a fresh and I'm like all right that seems bizarre it's like my well-being this seems like something someone who deals with drug dealers guys come in with bullet wounds you got cash it's in 20% off it's a little straight up well I rolled up my money and put a rubber band around it and handed it to him we always like to thank we always like to thank the doctors are there's something special about them you know they're beyond reproach there above and beyond but I was reading this book called Dead Doctors Don't Lie by this guy Joel Wallach and it's all about mineral deficiencies and how many people have mineral deficiencies and how little doctors actually know about nutrition and how

so many doctors are not only unhealthy but have at least back when he wrote this book have easy access to prescription medicine and they're just overdosing right and they're just fucking cooking themselves with Coke right yeah I'm trying to do like an organic 'I think so I started eating all these salads and oatmeal and salmon to helping know I feel bad I've lost weight I'm thin I'm taking huge like green baby leg shit's like and say like the S with the feels good right yeah roughage amazing I'm flying out and I feel light and I'm a little more defined that's good but my throat is still all fucked up but I've heard it takes months and I'm like maybe my body's repairing and it just doesn't it's time to whatever so what specifically they tell you to get off of well first the my first went there it was like the end of the day like I started having like a fucking panic attack because it's like white shit coming down my throat not the first time that's happened folks

how come I get it all right I went I ran in there and I was like can I gotta see a doctor today I'm losing my mind and they're like we can squeeze in an appointment and I think when you show up right before they close with no health insurance the guy kind of looked and went oh yeah that's silent reflux and then they print out a piece of paper from like WebMD which is amazing to me they just print shit out that I could have Googled and he's like try to cut out the spicy foods take Prilosec and whatever so he made it seem like it was no big deal spicy foods yeah that's interesting that they would try to cut that out like like what what what is code did they say what is actually causing like what is the mechanism like what's forcing this reaction well I think what happens is it has something to do with your esophageal sphincter whoa which is you know how do I yeah you do it's I guess it's at like I've read so much of this shit

there's like you're saying g spot when you're sucking dicks yeah it gets down there right I feel like that would be a deep in there so it opens up and there's supposed to be some acid that comes up but I got too much acid I guess the fluxes and that it it reflexes hmm But my I think what happens is it gets so fucked up from diet that it becomes compromised so it doesn't matter what I eat it's just open like a like a fucking a blown-out us like a loose hassle yeah so and that's from just all the acid hitting it over and over and over again yeah so I got into this there's a woman named dr. Kaufman I forget her first name but she actually is in New York that's who I'm going to see for a thousand bucks but she like coined the phrase and wrote all these books and stuff and says you can fix it through diet but I've been taking like a ton of Prilosec and shit and doesn't lie I guess a little I don't know what's help it like how much worse it would be if I wasn't taking that but then when you get off of that there's a thing called

and reflux where it just comes back fucking gangbusters oh no so I'm all like the people that take Xanax yeah I used to take Xanax they said oh I've never taken it but they said that when you get off of it that you get super anxious I don't remember that I only took it with I was like having a panic attack whenever I took Paxil for a lot of time and then I couldn't come on that whoa yeah I heard about that yeah it's unpleasant you and Mike Tyson at the same price how can he not come couldn't was on the Paxil but very similar guys real son wait a lot about someone your background yeah yeah yeah I used to play with pigeons I shouldn't say play with I see listening he's a good guy flying about the show he's a good guy he had him he's super friendly he's like a giant bear that's like your friend yeah I'd like to he's like really sweet guy but you are very aware when you're around him that he is not you like this is a company this is an elite super athlete

yeah from the Hall of Fame yeah and he's Mike motherfucking Tyson and even though he doesn't even hardly work out anymore like even you shake his hands like holding onto a brick likes whole body is like he's like 5 feet wide yeah I imagine if you work I don't know you probably know more about this than I do if you work out enough for long enough and then you stop I imagine you're going to have a base you definitely have a base like I like when I was a kid or I'd when I was younger I ran I was a distance Runner and I stopped running distance but I feel like now I could go run five miles because I used to be yeah yeah yeah for sure I feel similarly like Mike Tyson could beat me up probably oh yeah yeah he kill you you don't read that well it's true I don't know you might have some skills my friends CT Fletcher he actually had a heart surgery heart transplant one year ago and he hasn't been able to do much of anything other than like very light exercise like he's just trying to like build his body back up but he's

he used to be a world champion power lifter and even though he hasn't worked out like really worked out and probably like a year and a half he still has giant arms he still huge yeah I keep a lot of it he could probably beat me up also you think he can't move that much okay because of the heart you know he's not a bunch of pills and stuff but if he got a hold of you'd be fucked yeah got his arms are like double mine oh wow of my arms the top of it it's a bigger he was an enormous man at one time he's basically my height maybe an inch he's probably like five nine maybe an inch taller than me and he weighed three what do you say 320 at one point 320 pounds well is a picture of him it's so ridiculous like you can't believe that a human could stack that much meat on the onto your skeleton yeah I wonder that if I just started really lifting lifting because I'm like I can't eat healthy foods I mean I can't eat shitty Foods anymore and I don't drink I don't do drugs I'm like maybe I could get into exercise I how big can I get can I get fucking idiot big yeah he definitely get bigger

it's your an ectomorph which means at all and you're tall and lean and tall is one of the reasons why even though you were on that terrible diet not built like Ralphie May write something like that you know like some people just have bodies that just they can absorb a lot of sugar and a lot of bullshit and your body obviously can do that yeah that's CT Fletcher when he was 300 pounds yeah fucking sizes on so ridiculous yeah sufis so huge that's what the fuck those are ridiculous do you know anyone remember the fighter Vinny pazienza sure he's from Rhode Island and I was working the Providence comedy connection years ago and he was at the show we kind of met and then he was he was drinking a little bit and then after the show we were all at the bar and I think it was like kind of fucking around he's like a comedian I'm gonna come over there and kick that comedians ass he was kind of like think it was fucking with me whenever I was like terrified I'm a terrified human anyways and he's like yeah I want to come over there and beat his ass and then his girl that he was with was kind of like video

and she was like kind of looked nervous where I was like wait is this something is this like a real thing and like everyone there was like ah he's fucking with you and then I was like telling the story later to like my fat my uncle and he's like ah he's drugged you fucking you'll be fine but I was like what do you mean he's like a guy's older he's drunk oh my God I'm like at what point of me hitting Vinny pazienza do you think he'd be like all right I'm sorry that like it's is no amount of like he's a little older he's had a couple of cocktails uncle's are terrible for advice but they they're you're not their kid to like I you figure it out they give you like really abbreviated shitty advice yeah it's like a nice idea that I'd be like yeah you'll be able to handle I'm like no I think he would I think he would win he's the fucking champion of the world at beating people up yeah he's a bad motherfucker yeah I'd be a real problem for you yeah I went to how drunk he was yeah I wouldn't have fared well it's just uncle's their terrible with advice the uncles are always buying you beer when you're too young

yeah so he's showing you things you shouldn't see ya there it's fun to be one yeah I'm an uncle yeah me too it's like being a you plan on shooting loads into the missus and having a real person no I got a plan on shooting listen to her but I don't think so my wife's a comedian as well and a kid no we're a little old I mean she's old and I'm 37 she's 41 and someone's career has to be sacrificed quite a bit I think right that's one way to look at it yeah and like a zit right now which it could change any time I'm making more money on the road like that's the majority of our money so it have to be like I got to keep going on the road right so and then we're in New York and you know it's hard to have a child yeah they're very expensive as you know are very expensive and New York is a weird place to raise a child it's just weird I have friends who raise their kids in New York and like we love it the kids love it we let them go wander around the streets do they have to go like private school and shit

like know that they go to public the idea of like your nine-year-old on the Subways tariff again like everything xiety right yeah every moment I'd like my kid is getting abducted right now will you never know like you could get a Subway we're everybody's cool or you could get a Subway where there's a crazy person you're trapped in a tube with a crazy person yeah it's one of the more interesting things about rolling the dice of the New York City Subways you're just entering into a closed environment where you cannot Escape for a prolonged period of time with people that you don't know and most people are cool yeah most people just want to get to their job or their house or wherever they're going but every now and then like I'm going to dude do you remember there was a knife attack on subway where a guy had killed a couple of people and cut one guy up and the guy disarmed them from some moves that he learned and Ultimate Fighting Championship watching it on TV no yeah Madam he's giant cuts on his head was really intense man yeah I would not I would not do well I would

be like yeah just cut me up hate myself well I just when you're

when you're in that sort of life or death situation it's just becomes your survival mode kicks in you like you don't even you don't even know what you're doing right like I've talked to people have been attacked by animals and they say that it's just you don't you can't even imagine how reptilian your reaction is right your there's no rational thinking at all it's like a hundred percent just DNA firing the switches for you wow I was on the subway a couple years ago and I was like it was empty I was on the back of the train and there was like it was just me sitting there and then there was a guy sleeping on the other end like he was passed out or whatever and then there's like six hooligan like young teenager like there were acting all crazy and they got on the train on that end of the trail and they were like spitting on the guy and they were like wake up there was screaming but the guy was like he was obviously drunk whatever and they were like Hocking loogies on them and stuff and like

jumping up and down and so I was just looking at my phone because it was like a it was a bad situation unpleasant and then they kind of turned and focus towards me and they were like hey you fucking faggot look up look up from your phone and then I just didn't I kept ignoring them and then one guy was like I'm gonna kill you if you don't look over here and then the other guy was like I'll kill you if you keep looking at your phone I was like shitting my pants and this is between Queensboro Plaza and Lexington Avenue which is a pretty long Underground Station it was like doing the thing where like delayed so as I probably like realistically was like four or five minutes but I was like shitting my pants and there's six of them they're probably like early 20s late teens I've no fighting training or no weapon where I was like 'I there's a bad situation like six people here like I'm I'm not gonna I have no six people to prom six people the problem I appreciate you sending a lot of people like I would have busted up the biggest guy or whatever the fuck and you're like dude tangle of arms and legs six people's real problem

that would save you though is that you're in a Subway and what by that is they're not going to surround you right if you just put your back to the wall right six people

as they come towards you they have to kind of come towards you almost single file I suppose so yeah it's not a lot of room you can get like two at a time but

you could crack one and if you crack one most of them start panicking most people don't know how to fight right smash one guy's face and and he goes unconscious and then the other guys are there and you start moving in on them they have this anxiety attack they start freaking unless they know how to fight and I doubt they do because people don't know who know how to fight they don't do things like that writes very very rarely do you run into thugs that actually know how to fight but that's the problem is most people know how to fight I'm one of those most of the people yeah so the Smashing in the face I'm like and I know how to throw a punch but I'm saying even for anybody even for a trained fighter if you're in a Subway with six guys it's not good yeah even if you really know how to fight if you're like a world champion you gotta go goddamn it because you could always break your hand but the first punch that shit happens all the time yeah it was unpleasant but that can happen and then after that I was like maybe I shouldn't get in the last train at least give yourself a chance to go one it was early I was on my way to the show in the city it was like 8 o'clock

30 but Christ I mean I don't think they were leaving dropped think they were just assholes yeah just being wild whatever wildin I think is the term for the Italian they were not they were of Latino descent yeah racist I am describing what I think a very PC know the way you said it it was clear you're demeaning I think Latino is good or is it Hispanic I think Hispanic is bad because it's in reference directly to Spanish so Latino is better that could be in reference to Latin America I don't know that that's all they can suck my dick I'm tired of it I really am yeah fuck you let's see how I'm trust trying to figure out what your name is all right Joe yeah but I mean that's it I mean you can't just decide that something that people used forever is all of a sudden

racist like here's a weird one and I don't know why this is you can't say Chinaman but you can say Englishmen hmm I think a lot of it has to do with because the Chinese were enslaved is that right they built the railroads yep that the probably has something to do with it but you can say Irishman and the Irish were enslaved by there you go so that Feats that yeah oh I'm just guessing this is not money Irish we're not enslaved here I mean there's some Irish people that came over the did indentured servitude I'm sure actually now that I'm I am reading I did read something about Irish slaves their will but in comparison African slaves not even close yeah I don't know much about that Irish thing but I know that black people African American people get upset when you say but the Irish were enslaved yeah all I know is they don't like that shit yeah they're not into that yeah argument yeah it's terrible argument

it doesn't seem like a great one there's not a lot of pictures of the Irish slaves that built America yeah I think a lot also came voluntarily or something I don't know I don't know yeah my grandparents my grandfather on my father's side came from Ireland by I think my great-grandparents yeah you imagine being one of those people from the 1920s it's like fuck it I'm taking a chance I'm going to get in a fucking boat travel across the ocean like only like 50 years after pictures were made yeah it's insane I think about that I'll tell I watch Godfather part to the whole time I'm like yeah go get a little buddy take six of the most powerful guy in the state so yeah whatever it's just there's no place like that now or people just can go well that's here still isn't it but it's not though it's fucking hard like it's hard if you're Canadian it's give your Canadian is hard to get over here yeah and we're connected like they make it real hard for Canadians to move

yeah of sure I know a lot of Canadian Comedians and they have to like Peru it's the whole idea is hilarious of a comedian trying to prove they're necessary in America is just a comical ideas funny they're like can you guys write me letters that says we need more jokes in New York I think we need more comedians always I think we are there's a finite resource of comedian well we need more quality yes it is but it's plenty of comedians you never know like I'm new guys that sucked man for years and I used to have this thought either you're funny or not funny if you find you can get funnier right but I knew guys that used to eat shit well now they're murderers keeps coming back to re no no no no I I'm singing all right was always funny yeah he always had something like he's never as funny as he is now but he always had something yeah he's always like this guy's gonna make it yeah it is interesting when people kind of figure it out but I think a lot of those people they're trying to be what they think is supposed to be funny and

Julie they figure out to just be themselves and that's how it kind of I think you're right like they're trying to do Seinfeld or something and then after a while somebody along the way it goes hey just tell the thing you said in the car right right right I got friends like that that never made that flip like friends from Boston that Comics that have like the biggest disparity in funny offstage to funny on stage of anybody where it's it's puzzling where I'm like you are the funniest person I've ever met and you've been eating shit for 20 years and it's like what how does that not they used to throw it is interesting Joey Diaz the funniest guy I've ever seen I've never seen anybody funnier and Joey Diaz when he first started out I didn't meet him when he first started out I met him she's I probably met him for years into his career I met him in 95 I think or 96 somewhere around then and he just couldn't figure it out on stage and then around

98 I was just take them with me on the road around 98 he just caught this wave and I'm Tom saying with in like six months he went from having rough sets to fucking annihilating wow he also gained during that time at least 80 pounds they just fun just didn't give a fuck anymore like something clicked where he didn't give a fuck anymore right he started eating whatever he wanted to eat he was partying like a madman and he would go on stage just just didn't give a fuck and he was so funny it's like he figured out the formula Leaf he was trying to do the actor thing he got sucked into that thing that we were talking about where you want to get on sitcoms you want to get auditions you're going out for movies and then after a while I just got fucked over too many times and dealt with too many people and he realized he was like kind of tailoring his act for those assholes yeah I love those moments in any artist with me

liquor or whatever it is all's I know is music and comedy really but when they fucking finally get into that in the rhythm of like figuring out who they are and what they are and then you're like oh wow this is special to yeah it's cool to watch to for like a person who's trying to do it themselves because you really see all the elements in the qualities that they've sort of embraced that have helped them like the authenticity and the real thoughts and you know and what they they're honest self deprecation and all the things that you see that just sort of fall into place then you can kind of examine your own self right yeah maybe I could I could do that that's the thing about comedy I think like we we don't exist in a vacuum we all influence each other right I'll sometimes too much like people do the until voice yes you know there are so many guys I do that voice yes and it's ruthless when you see people doing it like God you gotta pull him aside and go hey man and I'm gonna tell fan to which right gotta back off the until voice yeah that happened to it it goes in waves

remember when I was like in the early 2000s it was a lot of Dane people are doing a lot of day and I was to say 80 I was my term of another day an impression to be all these guys that walk out and they're doing they're holding the mic in an impractical way it works for him to kind of look and doing this weird move it you like I think that's kind of his thing cute young guys and they're trying to put on baseball hats everywhere they go yeah and they come up with their own way to do a hand stand on the stool Dan got mad at a guy once because he was wearing a Boston hat so interesting like that's my thing oh well I went to Boston I'm wearing a bruin shirt I hope that's okay oh man you gotta check in this town I'll send him an email are you from Boston I'm from Whitman Massachusetts and I started there I was there for a year so yeah I'm from Newton oh wow yeah a lot of comics from Newton really well not a lot John fish and if you know John oh he's a New York guy and then Louis it's three but three is a lot that's a lot of a relatively small town Newton's a weird spot it's like

idyllic if you go there right now it's like aha's beautiful little cute little sweet little town yeah when I was growing up there it seemed like a frozen shithole I was I think I could be wrong in this I think Newton was once labeled the safest town in America they had gone the longest distance without a murder or like a I think they were basing enough murder or some kind and then shortly after that somebody was killed it was like they jinxed it yeah they probably wanted to set the record yeah and this one would be the person to break it yes I was like fuck that and yeah murdered but it's a good place yeah it's nice Boston is a great place to grow up but I think it wears on you all my friends who live there when I still I still have a few buddies that live there and I talked to him like man how many more than winners I can fucking take yeah I guess went us I got a buddy that just moved to kiwis moving to Key West July 1st and he's like I'm tired of shoveling and it's a hard City people are fucking angry and the traffic and there's like a fiery already complex this yeah it's a great place to I think influence you and

then you got to get the hell out of there horrible place to date I never I mean I did date there but that accent you find a woman with that accent it's just it's a boner killer it's not a pleasant Accent on a woman yeah it's not good on a dude it's fun I hear a dude with that accent I said I'd be a good guy to drink with yeah listen to him I agree this most definitely a double standard that what accent are you turned on but as Southern yeah I suppose taxes yeah whoo that's the best yeah I like Tralee and I like Australia like an Irish English Okay Irish Australian women I've only had sex with two Australian women in my life but Bowl stop bragging bro but but but both this is it what's gonna get worse both women individually requested that I come on their face what I don't know if that's an Australian things have to call in if you're gonna call your woman does this have to do with the lack of sun screen out there you know they have a whole nose own layer that's she's looking for a coating but a hundred percent of Australian women as far as I've tested like enjoy it in the mud yeah

do you think if you were a girl you'd like a guy to come your face I'd have talked about this before I think if I was a girl I would be a fucking wild animal yeah I would be coming my eyes and yeah with other man and I want coming my face you know yeah so imagine yeah I think so I think I'd be a just a just running around yeah so I can open it up all the Dick Cavett everybody Som something yeah some kind of disease and I got stuff to give them to 15 got a bunch of them I had HPV that goes away I got married right HPV goes away no you still have does he shoot a dirty load and someone you can give it to him still well if I think I believed I could be I put kind of got bad info from my ENT pretty sure you did I had pretty sure you keep that shit can we look this up over here I think HPV does go if you stop having sexual intercourse with different people oh but I think it goes away for you but I think it's still in your blood and I think you still give it to people

our interesting well so don't be lying to people in shooting now well I only have sex once a me just put his finger up I know it just from the quick the quick response in most cases HPV goes away on its own it does not cause any health problems but when HPV does not go away it causes health problems like genital warts and cancer health care provider can usually diagnose warts by looking at the general area what if we get a fucking health care provider can usually diagnose warts by looking at them yeah you can also do that comedians can also be diagnosed warts you go oh that's a Dick Ward interesting yeah I had that I went to Planned Parenthood who do more than abortions they'll take your warts right off they put a little thing on there and boom here it says there are currently no cure for existing HPV infection but for most people be cleared by their own immune system and there are treatments available for the symptoms that can cause you can get the HPV vaccine they have a vaccine that's only for young people that work tool cause the problem yeah what does it do I don't know what dude

don't lie I did not get it you got it started giving it out recently I think in the last like maybe less than 10 years but you gotta be yeah you gotta get it like before you're a what is it makes you really horny that because I deal right I don't know if it cures it I guess cures it but I had that but so it does go away did you ever hear about there's a story about a drug called re-equip em it was a medication for Parkinson's Disease and galactose smithkline lost a judgment in court I think it was the tune of $600,000 American because it turned a guy into a gay sex and gambling addict all he wanted to do was hook up with guys online and Gamble and and but listen I know it sounds crazy but they lost the lawsuit like a pharmaceutical Drug Company lost a lawsuit in the jury awarded this guy more than a half a million dollars how did he prove that all he wants to do is fuck

that's a good question but they did they proved it to the point where this guy won money because he never had any problems like this before took this Parkinson's medication and it just was short-circuited his brain he started sucking dick and rolling the dice I'm gonna Sue Starbucks I've been drinking their tea and now I want to get come on come on improve I don't want to be come to on something about their tea it's not organic there's a fucking round up in their tea yeah something's up but I want some loads well they're starting to pass out lawsuits against glyphosate speaking of that round up that that fucking that that shit two billion dollars and another guy got five five million well he needs a better lawyer all right because he got his lawyer got him five million the other people's lawyers got them billions what is what's the drug oh it's not a drug it's Roundup it's that weed killer shell Monsanto weed killer oh I see yeah it gives people

sir and they're they're finally passing down these massive judgments against Monsanto wow yeah the weight of it all C mon Tanto jury hits his jury with a hits Monsanto with two billion dollar judgment but there was that one and then there was another one for five plus million that guy's gotta be pissed right now the fuck that I only get five million that two billion is that exact or are they rounding up count it you should open with that tonight at The Improv I will on Hollywood hey folks you hear about this this thing called Roundup most people don't know what it is now that's like serious GMO haters they're people that are like super organic and they don't want any pesticides in their food that's it one thing that people need to understand if you're buying vegetables and you eat a lot of vegetables it's very good for you but man there is a lot of fucking pesticides out there this is what Spellman

out the more I do reckon I did always just ate garbage whatever without thinking about it now the more I research I do the more I read about it because I like to read health benefits of the food I'm eating while I'm eating it because it makes it feel like all right I'm doing some good but then everyone the bottom of the page like never eat too much broccoli you'll shoot your blood or whatever this is It's there's always something or this pesticides or honors the wait yeah you really have you heard of a carnivore diet you heard of that sort I see which is meat it's just me to stake there's a lot of people that do it and people with autoimmune issues have huge reactions positive reactions really yeah my friend he was having receding gum disorder went away and they say that that should never goes away he lost 50 pounds Jordan Pederson and - yeah he's on that corner board dies been on over a year just got his blood work tested a lot of people like you shouldn't even recommend that it's so irresponsible and there's

arguments both ways man is arguments that eating only vegetables irresponsible because large-scale agriculture is like terrible for the environment it displaces all is wildlife and animals and they most cases they're using something to kill the weeds the most cases they're using glyphosate or something like that yeah I mean I'll fruit to me is always like that's healthy and then people like sugar and yeah whatever I burp Roots fine something wrong fruit it's like everything else if you eat too much fruit if you like ten oranges right your bodies are what the fuck bro but like if you drink orange juice that's not good because your body's like where is all the fiber like what is this what are you doing to me like why are you making me drink this sugar water yeah did he drink a like a 12 ounce glass of orange juice how let's guess how many grams of sugar do you think is in a 12 ounce glass of orange juice I don't know I'm not good with this I would say can you give you some scale like how much sugar is in a Coca-Cola I wish I know fuck honestly

Jared no no no it's okay here's here's a good scale like um like I saw one of those Gatorades but not a Gatorade it was a smart drink that had some fucking flavor to it or something like that you know what it was but it was 27 grams of sugar okay look that was like Jesus that's a lot of fucking sugar so I'll take orange juice is more than that yeah I would say it's got 35 I say 35 okay I'll say forty eight dams going crazy what do you say Jamie for some reason this thing won't do the math right but and one ounce there's two point six so x 12 it's roughly 30 because it's 24 teams the 1 plus 2 6 yeah something like that some way 30 yeah so round there yeah it's a lot of sugar not 48 though fuck me yeah you're only supposed to look for a healthy diet I think they split your supposed to be limited to a hundred grams of sugar a day and that's for an active person like you really shouldn't fuck around with more than that right yeah I feel like I'm finally reaching the age where food becomes

situation you got to start to yeah it's part of the problem man yeah as you get older body starts to fucking fall apart on you bro yeah my buddy John Fisher I mentioned earlier he has a story about he went to his doctor and his doctor was like in your 30s your body starts to break down and in your 40s your body starts to die and he was waiting for him to like smile or laugh but he was like just being serious doctors an asshole yes yes God bless life right now is fucking a personal trainer I'm not guys were super angry about it that's probably what's going on there yeah I think he's a bad guy he's a terrible guy telling you that your body is dying listen I'm alive bitch I'll fuck you up right now kill you yeah good hold me I'm alive and I'm dying good point fuck shut up shut up dr. dr. dickwad what kind of doctor is that I don't know but I did was for negative some truth to that though specializes in negativity yeah no you're all alive does it work as good as it does me or 20 no does your fucking car work is good when has

no but I think what he's saying is that we're on the back the back end what he should have said is duh everybody knows that all right if you live to be a hundred at 40 your fucking halfway there basically yeah good point and living to a hundred is pretty wild yeah if you live to a hundred men you get you'd really did something yeah and most people are not going to make that I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna start trying to make it a hundred I wish that there was a thing that showed you when you're dying what tipped over right yeah well they're like yeah you had one too many Cokes in 2007 yeah they looked at all the times you jerked off imagine if like here's an accounting of every time you jerky be like no I think about this all the time I wish we could do that cause everything has all these stats now you know like baseball whatever I wish you could have all the shit's you've taken how many times you've wiped your ass how many times you've jerked off how many times you've had sex wouldn't it be fun to have all of those numbers it would what can't your phone do that it should be able to see how many steps you go yeah

my phone to track how far I run exactly so we should start do I guess we could type it into our phone yeah you could you could add it up you can have like a nap every time you jerk off you have to double tap it I feel like that would be a fun thing I think we just invented something yeah it could be a good app like how many times you jerk off in a year Jamie how many times did your own eyes that was just a the Apple watch my no because one of my blossoming on the elliptical it was on the elliptical with and two minutes reload you want to check this elliptical workout it's like how the whoa no that motion of the arm moving is that what it is it's gotta be because there's a that's you know that's interesting that my zones heart rate monitor thing that we were wearing for sober October that thinks syncs up with my elliptical machine and it shows the heart rate without even even holding onto the heart rate sensor Bluetooth though that's pretty right but it did it without me asking it yeah it just did it it's close proximity I know but it's pretty pretty crazy that it did that nobody else is interesting too dun-dun-duh the fucking government man don't don't

um are you worried about your phone being tracked now I have some reason I've never cared that much I know I should and people talk about it the government watching us and tracking all the information I don't know where is he worried about you know dying and if people like me or not I just assumed they are yeah I don't it doesn't yeah I hate to sound like a like some fucking asshole that's like I'm not doing anything wrong so spy like but I just don't it doesn't connect with me to be concerned about that yeah I don't think you sound like an asshole all right people some people who like well I'm not doing anything wrong we want to get the terrorists and blah blah blah yeah those people are assholes though the people that say that what do you care if you're not doing anything wrong that's out here and he starts you weak bitch right thing about week but I don't know that guy I appreciate this is fake guy part of he needs to go get some fucking guns yeah like I stand up for America Venezuela shoots two lone pairs

well bro they don't have any guns it's true actually yeah I mean they're running over people in the street because people can't it's hard to get guns in man's well that's another thing that sometimes things just don't like I'll see that story and be like huh all right and I just can't register everything there's no way you'll never get any thought done yeah Jimmy what you got about the story this guy and the holmby hills which is like the Beverly Hills area oh yeah I heard about that he had guns more than a thousand guns yeah making some of them he was making them not all of them but it did he do anything did you just like guns I don't know I guess they decided to arrest me tip or something they decided to rest me they said Jerome has five bows and a hundred and fifty arrows like well who the fuck is he planning on killing right they could do that but those are more firearm sales I guess those are less alarming numbers to me though Bo's a hundred and fifty arrows 5,000 seems like a lot yeah but I think it's one of those things

get excited and keep buying them acting on a tip regarding illegal firearm sales okay so he's selling guns guns were strewn throughout several of the homes rooms Authority said it took about 30 law enforcement Personnel more than 12 hours to remove all the weapons goals gun goals photos and videos from the scene showed stacks of rifles I have a buddy of mine who has so many guns he doesn't know how many guns he has that's impressive that's like us with jerking off yeah exactly same thing he's a real jerks off to though he's a real gun nut like a legit gun nut like he does long-range shooting he goes enters into competitions and stuff where they shoot like you know they shoot out to like a thousand plus yards I tried understands I try to be a good empathetic person I'm not a gun guy and it's easy to be like what do you need guns you fucking Maniac but then I'm like I understand like I had thousands of baseball cards I guess you get they're not killing machines but I guess you get into something and then you're like I want this gun and then I want to try to get another guy and then you get addicted to the purchasing of things yeah

there's that but it's also fun to shoot him you go to a range like I want to arrange with Duncan Duncan Trussell who's basically a Buddhist and probably one of the most peaceful people I've ever met in my life and super brilliant guy and he's like this is so fun I fucking loved it we loved it would ya shooting pieces of paper you know out a distance and clay pigeons and shit yeah fun that's seems like fun yeah it's also sobering like when you pull the trigger on a rifle but when you see that bullet hit that paper you like that is crore metal to hear clink you know when you shooting at something it's pretty instant right instant yeah yeah I mean the when you get to longer distances is kind of interesting because you pull the trigger boom and then Here Pink like there's actually a lag time right mmm think what kind of distance we talking I've never shot anything further than like 400 yards I think was the longest I shot anything at the

range that's amazing that's pretty long that's you have taken huge range yeah it's four football fields you have to set your your scope for that or at the very least you have to understand the drop of your bullet it's all about how fast your bullets going if you had a pencil in a bullet right one in each hand you dropped in both the same time they both fall exactly the same speed because the rate of gravity so it's all a matter of how fast the bullet gets to the Target right because it's going to drop from the moment it comes out of the out of the gun it's dropping right so it's how fast is it going there is going to tell you how fast how far it's going to drop so if you know that you set that use you can use ballistics an application you take that ballistics information you put it into your phone like 400 yards hundred and fifteen grains whatever your bullet is you know 300 Win Mag whatever it is you enter all that stuff in and then it'll tell you exactly what to do when your scope and then you turn it and then think I'll go

in the center wow yeah that's what those long range dorks they love it they love it they love shooting things that are really really really far I think they called snipers well that's kind of yeah but they're not really snipers a lot of them are civilians now they're just like they just have to want Lanes competitions wow that's crazy they have like a guy'll be there with like super high-powered binoculars like you know fucking these big-ass scope binoculars yeah and they're like hi left and then calibrate low right no calibrate the just trying to like figure out like that film Jarhead just a movie I did not oh it's good isn't that big hated it Jake Gyllenhaal I love Jake Jonah to that's someone I would like to come on my face but if you see when he was in that movie when he played a boxer and he got super ripped I did not see that movie but someone next to me the plane was watching it so I saw without did you get hard hearing it I didn't know go look up Jake little and Hall

is called Southpaw yes yeah you got super shredded yeah he's a great look at the actor Come On Son yeah that's something that is fucking jacked I mean that is about a shredded as a man got stuck I worked hard to get that body now he's amazing he's great and that zodiac is one of my favorite movies Brokeback Mountain you love and what's the one with the Nightcrawler yeah and then prisoners was great to I love that movie yeah he's been in a bunch of great movies he's an interesting cat he's good yeah there's certain people that like you just want to see them act in that weird yes you know like that just they have a thing yeah and then certain people that you like eat enough of this fucking guy yeah there's some people that are famous actors that you're like how did this guy get in I don't understand what types of names who's excited well I'm afraid this this pockets is too big these people could be listening could be but yeah that's what I kind of people got it sacrifice there's a couple guys whose name I don't know but I just see him and then like my wife will just I'm sorry I didn't know he was in the sand like thank you

Max he's just a guy I don't get it yeah but most of them are a great I feel like most people that are doing well a pretty good yeah and acting well that's what we would hope see this is the thing that I hope comes out of this whole me to movement besides these criminals getting busted is that it changes the whole this like there's a sort of the way things is an ecosystem out here and I've seen it with women to like there was a woman casting agent that I knew that fucked all these men and would get them parts and she was gross and she was really aggressive to try to fuck my buddy she's trying to fuck two of my buddies oh yeah she sounds nice to me I kind of like her foul all right bad breath everything's wrong okay all right I'll take your word is a long time ago she's probably dead it's probably got HPV which just died that didn't go away but but I mean I've seen it I've seen aggressive women it's not as many obviously but yeah but that people would be judged on their merits because it's

and not just see it's not out here like when you're acting and trying to audition it's not just sexual favors it's also political leanings and like they'll ask you questions about things everyone everyone Falls in line right with whatever the ideology that you supposed to adopt in order to be accepted by this community so they're really looking for people to say the right things and do the right things they want you to like it's not a coincidence that everyone in Hollywood is Progressive that everyone in Hollywood you know is super liberal and super left-wing it's an act for a lot of them for a good percentage of people out here it's a fucking a right it's a thing that gets you attention and credit but couldn't it be part of it that I mean I don't disagree but I do think a lot of people that are naturally artistic they become open-minded and then they are going to places where they're very diverse and part of becoming Progressive I think is

eating a lot of these people that are you know gay people and Muslim people and trans people then you go oh these people are just like me blah blah blah stress enough yeah there's actually a part of it there's that too but there's such a prevalence of fake humans that you got to realize that like most of these people have no opinions they're not real opinions on what they're doing is they're just sort of spouting out this predetermined pattern of behavior that they feel like would be accepted yes oh for sure I think yeah it's set up that way yeah okay sobbing I'm basically just saying what you just said well they just want it so bad I want it so bad

yeah well that's the danger of being motivated by Fame and yeah yes it's so bad that's where I think of what helps a lot of comedians is it starts off the seed is not fame or Fortune it's like I want to be as funny as I want to bring as much joy to the audience isn't can as long as you can keep that you end up being a pretty decent person and a good artist yeah you just want to kill ya the thing about their subtracts in that to right and this is one of the traps that leads to people stealing material is that you just want to kill you want to kill you want to you want to feel that feeling right so you want it it's not that you want the audience to have it so you want to kill right in the way you kills they have a great time but you will do that at any cost so you take other people's work and try to pawn it off at your own as your own you pretend to be someone you're not right so they'll like you more so that it'll kill louder I'm afraid someone's going to take this clip where you keep saying you

just showing maybe like I'm sorry someone's definitely this is like a calling conquest of that old joke he's like don't tell you the story and they use you as he's like you're telling me you sleep with kids I think that's okay he's like not me I'm not the guy but yeah that that that is a weird thing that people do the desire telling me you think it's okay to Rob old lady yeah and this is why I didn't say that no I know you didn't say that yeah but I don't think here that part these fucking guys who robbed old ladies but yeah that that definitely is but I try to be in tune with that to like in a meditative way of that like because you get so as a committee get so obsessed with just like the sound of killing wanting to kill it you forget that they're actually a group of human beings right right right and then you're like you are the goal is to

bring joy to the people that you're actually yes trying to get laughs and trying to feel the joy of providing joy as opposed to just like if I kill I'll get on TV and if I get on TV I can pitch my show I try to kind of organically walk it back to the room in the moment of making these people here laughs that's a great attitude but I think New York is better in that regard in that there's not really a lot of Industry writes really just about killing it's just about being funny yeah doing well it feels like a lot of the motivation in New York is to kill so you'll get more seller spots the next week yes as opposed to how kill so I can get in the room with TRU TV or whatever right right right right yeah you don't want that's a I'm hoping that goes away and I think it is that's one thing that's kind of reinvigorated the Los Angeles scene is actually the death of jobs believe it or not like there's no jobs for comedians anymore other than being a comedian right so because and

also because of podcasts and the internet because people can put their Clips up on YouTube and because people can do things on the internet there is no longer like the really important stuff for your career is no longer held by these Gatekeepers like the network Executives that are constantly they're never there any way like if you have a if you get a show approved by a network executive there's a real good shot that in six months that person won't be there anymore right right real good shot yeah that's like that it feels like in the whole industry somebody Booker's you in comedy starting out you try to impress this Booker or get in with them when you're like kind of hanging out and like having a beer and then next thing you know they're like an accounting they're not even in the business anymore the good thing about today though is there's more camaraderie amongst comedians than ever than ever before and there's more support amongst communities comedians do each other's podcast right and on the podcast you'll talk about each other and sometimes it's bad like how we're sitting on Ari shaffir because I'm fucking really

re aren't you I'm not you've known him a lot longer you know I love them just kidding but I mean is sometimes it is bad though if someone gets exposed if someone you know like someone does piss you off or someone is doing something unethical and you find out about it through a podcast but for the most part most comedians these podcasts are being like super supportive yeah no it's the best I mean I think most things I've gotten in my career from other comedians yeah yeah at this point yeah I think that's real normal and it's normal East Coast and West Coast and it didn't used to be like that there wasn't this like really super supportive Community out there anymore but there wasn't always I think it's the podcast thing I really do because so many people have podcast now yeah well it's also contagious when someone does so much for you and brings you on the road and buys your lunch and tweets your shit you're like I want to do that for somebody and so then it keeps expanding for it's a good feeling it's a nice to be nice to the nice yeah

it's a great feeling and you really get to know like are these podcasts one of my favorite podcast because he you get to know him in his podcast like he does these he'll do an intro that's 40 minutes long for a conversation and it's him stoned wandering around his apartment cooking salmon and talking about it and like and talking about this and that and something that sucks and this is stupid and that's great and you know it's like you get to hear him ya know our is a special not to sound like a fucking fruitcake but he's a special human being I love that guy yeah you know what I love about him more than anything is why I love a lot of things about him but he figured out who he was and got successful and when he got successful he gave zero fucks yeah once he got successful is like okay I've got a couple hundred thousand dollars in the bank you can all suck my ass yeah and he doesn't he doesn't compromise anything yeah and he takes care of people in a way that I'm like

I'm concerned about your finite like he'll do a show in split the door evenly with everybody and I'm like you know you should take the money you sold it out you hosted the show you produce the show like I've done his storytelling show and he's like here's eight hundred and sixty dollars and I told like an eight-minute story and didn't even do great I'm like I'm sorry that sucks he's like whatever here's $900 and you're like okay like you could have paid me a hundred bucks it's like a Tuesday and really great long it but that's the way he's always you come my face right yeah exactly I'm not going to swallow that your load but I then I've produced a show with it we did a show together and then sweat it fucks you the splitting the money where I'm like I don't want to fucking split the money yeah that's true yeah that does fuck you especially if it's your show but now he's a great guy we just went out and hiked in Mount Zion and that Utah Zion National maybe I might have made the mount part up Zion National for yeah I don't know there's a mountain of also Utah and Utah yeah

but he liked David are be a place where all the fucking has a wild like rock formations and shit yeah thinking about yeah it's pretty it's pretty amazing yeah but he got this like Airbnb that was like seven bedrooms and a hot tub and he paid for the whole thing damn and then I got this reflex thing so we made all this special food there it is you guys that's us right there look at that that's Mike Vecchio and my wife Sarah tell emotion myself did you see any mountain lions or any crazy shit when you're out there we saw a nothing crazy I mean it was it was beautiful and amazing but nothing and says beautiful that was the house he got it was like Airbnb it's like a retreat for like it did all these crazy drums in there and big fireplace indoor/outdoor it was pretty unbelievable you know the weird thing about airbnb's is you find like little fucking webcams for people watching you 24/7 wow that's the backyard that's the back porch fuck that view is amazing yes it and then the next day my wife and I drove to Sunnyvale California we'd all

goodbye I was going to do Rooster Teeth feathers oh we went to the mall to eat and all of our shit got real everything I'm wearing everything she's wearing is stolen with this big like meditative Zion hiking three days together you just feel like man fucking life bro and then we went to The Cheesecake Factory I was starving and I got to eat something and we came out and a hundred percent of our luggage and computers were stolen out of your car yeah which I guess is an epidemic in the what's that called Silicon Valley really huge San Jose San Francisco to the point where the cops were like oh yeah all right take care did they break in your car I guess they went into the trunk but I thought maybe I didn't lock the door but a bunch of people have tweeted that me saying they have like fucking decoder things they can just get into cars Jesus and they they prey on rental cars because they know you have suitcases and shit they see that little no smoking thing that's a thing in Silicon Valley yeah so that after that happened we noticed every restaurant would go to would see at least like

and business guy with a eating with a suitcase next to him we're like you got to bring your shit inside there was brutal Silicon Valley is a weird spot because you have all these really rich people and then you have a fucking Army of homeless folks yeah I mean that feels like America and getting more and more that way somebody was telling me this Jamie find out this is true because someone was telling them that there's a woman that I know that lives out here and she was saying that they bust people bust them in from other cities they take their homeless people and give them one way tickets to Los Angeles I heard that with Hawaii that what you said no oh I heard that happens in Hawaii they fly them to Los Angeles a good move here in Hawaii good luck getting to take it back you fuck yeah but it's a but if you bought some they can always get back yeah they're on the same piece of ground right it's not as effective it's a good point you're flying to Hawaii that's what they should do is send him back yeah save a lot of money I think that's a few jumbo Jets get one of them 837 to tens of Crash and make

I think we should make it a night like a fucking private like a Air Force One with his like food and you know for Sasha and then they're like oh wow this is gonna be great and then you're like no it ain't ya you fly them into Molokai that's that that island that these descend the lepers so there's an article I just found that was done by the guardian in 2017 hmm seems like a pretty long in-depth article it doesn't say they're being bussed specifically to Los Angeles but this one example they're giving is purchase a ticket purchase to this guy by the city of San Francisco and I think this was sending him to Indianapolis so he went why 2,300 miles the other way how weird is that that should be so illegal to not take care of your homeless problem but rather to send them he traveled 2,000 275 miles over three days to reach his destination in Indianapolis and then freeze to death your majesty go from San Francisco to Indianapolis you don't have the proper Footwear that sucks cities have been offering homeless people

bus tickets to relocate Elsewhere for at least three decades lat that is gross well if you're just offering them a ticket yeah but it's not so bad until now there's never been a systematic Nationwide assessment of the consequences where these people being moved to what is the impact those programs are having on the cities that send and the cities that receive them and what happens to these homeless people after they reach their destination well the best example of that was that wild wild country documentary oh yes that yeah I did I mean they took over fucking town with homeless folks yeah that was one of those ones every cult thing I watched the first like half hour I'm like this seems pretty nice kind of into the joint yeah like the sound is kind of awesome and then slowly you're like wow maybe it's alright wasn't a people fuck it was a Scientology was like that yeah I was watching like a half hour and I was like I kind of am into this religion which one going clear the HBO doughnuts right when Alex yeah Alex Gibney I think yeah it's Lawrence Wright's book God can go and clear yeah the book is even more bizarre because it gets

obviously like way more into depth about how crazy l.ron Hubbard was and what he essentially did and how he started this whole thing and he's he was self analyzing he was trying to heal himself because he was fucking crazy right and along the way he got really into psychology and self-help books and was quoted saying if you want to make real money start of religion and then started a religion yeah well he's not wrong he was right yeah I did alright it's alright watch this graphic that they used on here I have to scroll down and make it activate but it's it shows their data showing all these homeless people getting sent around the country whoa like I little dots get so there's sending them from Los Angeles and New York primarily look at that loads sperms by year I can't show the whole Graphics because we got it was crazy that's like what is that burst is that burst from was that Southern California it looks like San Francisco this is San Francisco be up here this would be la like San Diego but Florida seems to have the most

art in Florida that this graphic starts down in Florida wow well that makes sense it's were means I think to is run that time period when I got smashed in time oh yeah I like the idea of all the ones passing each other though you're just two homeless guys passing each other like ships in the night here's where you don't see him Land Texas Texas doesn't give a fuck does it shoot you they'll shoot you they have a hole for homeless people like they have out in the desert why not like Wyoming they don't have enough people up there always Bears fucking it's hard to live up there they're just not interested in taking in your homeless

yeah it's a you know when you put by time you get to be a certain age and you're homeless I guess you just have to accept the fact that this is just life this is the life you've you know yeah it seems unpleasant I enjoy having a home personally me to I don't recommend it yeah I like going in there I'm ready men one with a lock yeah that's the best so you can sleep yeah do you like living in New York I love it yeah but I'm on the road so much that it's idea where I'm like I'm never home for really more than like 10 days which would New York is ideal you ever think about moving out here not really I mean I did yeah the answer is yes but I don't think I will because I'm like a Road Dogg so la it's tough because you're behind the eight ball with the tight like most your three hours behind most of the market so for flights yes you gonna get up at like 6:00 a.m. or leave the day before and I like the Comedy Cellar I like being there I like doing those like quality spots and you can kind of do multiple I might families in New England I like going home to see them and do you work when you're in New England is

yeah you do look laughs Bobby laughs moss green spot yeah it's cool yeah and there some point November like Thanksgiving is used to be a hundred fucking comedy clubs in Boston there's to be so many and now there's just slap Austin and like what else there's the Wilbur yeah the whale Burns comedy stop still around next is still around yeah that's crazy that that place is still around yeah that's been there forever but I still work there 30 years ago that's amazing I worked there 18 years ago it's crazy yeah but yeah the comedy connection was like my home he did that in Faneuil Hall right yeah that was amazing that is that where you started yeah I didn't start I started a place called chops Lounge which was like a true open mic where it was like Street people and fucking many people that had been bussed in from San Francisco it was like a sign up and go on and they'd be like a mixture of comics and then just weirdos and so I started there and then I went eventually the comedy connection I started working there that's where I first started opening for people and doing

real comedy work and it kind of spawned from there you know I mean it's weird for us but you know where who is really weird for it's really weird if you try to like do open mics and you're like a singer yeah I don't know how that works doesn't work well and works terrible yeah those do is Comics that would go to Like Music open mics I mean there are music open mics right I guess I went to a poetry slam open mic not once I've been to comedy shows that feel like poetry slam well in New York to get a lot of that yeah right where you're just like what I heard there's a lot of like really ridiculous sort of like woke comedy being performed yeah the definitely there's a thing where it's now become oddly hacky they don't realize that you're like well this is now hack right where you're like Trump or white male privilege which I'm like yeah I understand it's an issue but if what you're like seven other Comics started their sentence with

same white people say that about me saying sex jokes whatever white male privilege is only a problem because of racism and because of sexism if racism and sexism are out of the picture it's not your fault it's not your fault you're a white male right the problem is that some people are not white males if you're a black woman and you encounter Prejudice everywhere you go and discrimination everywhere you go the problem is that discrimination it's not Joel is being a white male they fucked the whole thing up because they've really created resistance where there should be none because you've made people perpetrators when they've done nothing wrong like you just were born a white male you got unlucky the same way or you got lucky I should say it depending on your perspective I mean they didn't ask to be born a black woman someone didn't ask to be born Polynesian man you are who you are you just you are the real problem is people that care the people that look at you and go oh it's a fucking white man great that's what I want the opinion of another white man like that is the real problem

the real problem is that sexism that is what racism and I don't even think it is because they think you're white and you have white privilege but you're discriminating based on something that someone has zero control over I agree it's fucking horseshit yeah it's if I'm tired of this I feel bad I was like I'm just trying to tell my dick and shit jokes and get my 25 bucks and get out of here yeah but that's like that's like like I said I'm people can look at my actor Bill he's talking about dicks and shit I talked about all kinds of things sometimes Dixon shit too though yeah well those are funny things we discussed well Dixon shits are funny often yeah I have to like curb myself from having my I got too many shit jokes now this is like 12 minutes yeah I got a few I got a chunk but it's funny shit like this shit is funny you know but it's sometimes you just get on a run where that's what you're interested in yeah well also once you have a bit that's working you want to extend it and write other things about it so then that's the way it goes I had a time period where I had like four

it's about aliens yeah and I was like goddamn this is too much you almost once you get to a certain point you start going what can I just go all the way and just do a one-man show about aliens right go to Edinboro yeah untraceable I'll just be the alien guy yeah I bet you could you could be like like have a slideshow behind you yeah seti research the fucking The Big Dish that you see in the movie contact Jodie Foster yeah I'm not familiar with that movie well earlier with I never I wasn't into it you didn't see that were been a big alien guy no you know believer I feel like this is the kind of place where you could produce an alien no not really I cannot fucking thing comes and raped me well I could show you the aliens but you can have to not be sober are you you're fully sober got ya did you said I'm not sober guy yeah I was a yeah we a mess mentally I felt like a mess I mean I wasn't I never killed anybody or anything but I was a I'm an alcoholic yeah I shit in the girls

you and got herpes yeah I had some fun whoa yeah girl shoe why would she do to you nothing just invited me to stay at her house I don't remember doing it I was in a blackout but yeah it was all fucked up and then I woke up and I had to piss so bad I just woke up in a bed and I was like I gotta piss I was like let me I don't know where I am actually had a flight I had a cross going to the Seattle comedy competition you ever do that no it was like it's like a month-long competition what and yeah and it's not the call it Seattle but it's like actually all over Washington State it's like a drive like three hours a night it's pretty crazy really yeah but I had to like be there the next day for a month I think a 10:00 a.m. flight and I woke up at like 9 20 and the morning and this girl's bed and I was like I gotta get the hell out of here but first I got to piss if I piss in This Woman's bed it's going to be it's going to be horrible so I ran to the bathroom found the bathroom

pissed for like a half hour you know those and I'm trying to like put my shit to get my I'm all fucked up and then I came out into like her living room and her table had been like smashed like a Chris Farley fucking table while and you know that feeling when you're fucked up we would look at something and you're like that was definitely me I'm gonna feel like I'm pretty sure I'm responsible for that and then I was like I gotta go find my clothes so I went back into her room and on the way there I saw like kind of like Footprints of poo and then I came in and she had a high-top Nike sneaker that just had like a big yeah and there was some little pieces around and then there was like a big puddle of urine till I didn't just because you never just shit so I like pissed and shit but I got it in a sneaker like I fucking did it on purpose well I think I mean I was in a blackout so what I think what happened was I thought it was a toilet because that's not like my sense

humor I'm not like a I've never been like a take a shit places I think I just saw a cylinder was well if it's dark it looks it's black and it's a whole how big is her fucking shoes real big feet it was was a big woman now so I shit in there and then what it without did you lose contact with her after this or now it's Owens I was like I gotta get out of here because I got to go catch this flight so I took my sock and put it on like a like a puppet like a hand puppet a sock puppet and just kind of picked it up that way and then turn the sock inside out right which like almost like a shit in a sock and threw that away and I tried to wipe up as much of the she asleep no no they're gone oh my God I thought it's like 9:30 in the morning I thought I just went so crazy that they all fled their own home so then I get in the cab to go to the airport missing my flight and I text the girl and I was like I'm so so I want to kill myself like I can never I should try to do you tell her that I should know well I figured she knew so

you wrote back it's okay it was it was crazy crazy night was fun or whatever and I was like man this girl must fucking party like she's just like okay with me shitting How This Woman's wild so then I got to the airport flew across the country miss my flight I got the next flight out on the plane I like cross my leg at one point and realize I had shit like up my pant leg it's a head that's like subtly put it down I was had a middle seat for a folks I miss Spider outside of your pain level outside of my Pamela shit just like a good streak like I would say ankle to knee you didn't go to the bathroom and try to clean it up no because I was already on the plane I was in a middle seat and I it was like caked on there oh my is like hours later oh my God so then I landed took the plant the iPhone off airplane mode and had a text that was like holy shit we had no idea how bad it was and I was like oh that makes more sense that is a better reaction yeah because I thought they must so the crazy part is

I shit it was like 9:00 in the morning they had left were they was your shit yeah they didn't have a dog and I said they don't just shit in their own shoes I was I wanted to quit but then I was late so I had to go straight to the show and I ended up with shit on your pan yai with shit my pants and my leg was like cake to my leg hair and it was the first Epic on the floor show going no I don't think anybody smelled it I don't think they'd notice because I think it would been I don't know no one said anything so this is funny because my shit so that I finish I took a shower finally like 12 hours later I was actually I remember pulling a little piece of shit out of my leg hair there's the best shower of my life it felt how was your set good I killed and I ended up winning that night because they each night you judge that came in like first place it was like one of the best sets of ever had that sounds like a real comedian yeah show but shit on your legs you win a competition but I can kill I loved it it was a pretty gory it was pretty

but then I ended up sending this message to these women I have the messages on Facebook so it lives forever but it's about like this law it's like a 12-inch it just keeps going on like I want to kill myself this happened I really wanted to die and they were luckily they were like 22 they were like fresh out of college so they were like pretty LOL forgiving yeah but they're in the 30s I wouldn't send you a bunch of crying emojis now they were just like the laughing crying one with a tears yeah that's my favorite one so I sent 300 bucks in a couple my friend Nate bargatze and I was like how much is 300 bucks like a good amount and he's like he's from Tennessee he's like I don't think there's an amount you can say so I sent him a card with 300 bucks and I didn't really keep in touch with them but they were they were nice new like hopefully you don't get that fucked up again and then by the way I drank that and I kept drinking for two more you think that'd be the bottom and then I remember that night being like well I'm gonna drink again at some point I might as well

so I drank for like two more years then I got herpes I've tried to stop then two and then I just kept going fuck it yeah and what made you hit bottom I finally just like I fucking hated myself I still do a little bit but not as much and I just it wasn't fun I knew I had to quit it's like same as food at some like at some point I got to stop doing this isn't a normal amount of drinking and then it just fucking a kind of happy I tried to stop a couple times and I go like a few days and and then one day I was just like a thing of like let me I'm gonna this is it I'm stopping now I remember my brother-in-law his father had just died was Christmas is I was like making a you know when you're drunk trying to be funny and I was like busting his balls about his dad he was like yeah I'm upset I remember just feeling like such a fucking piece of shit and then

I remember like kind of the day after Christmas I was like I kind of just blacked out Chris like I came home and I was like I don't even remember what the fuck and I was like I got to stop and then I was at feel helium in Philadelphia and ice cream Club yeah and I was with Gary gum was open for Gary gulman awesome my career was I kind of shit I was like 16 years at 15 years in a row I'll actually less than that 12 years and I guess and I was like I gotta do Somethin I gotta turn this around so I just stopped and I got fucking really into it into sobriety and it's like a new

life you're like oh Everything feels new again and fresh again I'm like on the back to this I'll get into sports again I'll go to museums you're not tired all the time yeah and then you just feel better yeah the feel better things huge that's that's the problem is you're tired all the time and when you if you drink a lot you're always like a little bit behind the eight ball well I would lose days of my life because I just hung over a felt like shit and then I realized for basically a decade I was drunk or hungover or just foggy like where you turn your head and it takes a moment for everything to kind of like ketchup resist fucking foggy hmm and and just like that deep hatred and I knew I had to go all in and like I gotta I can't I'm not a guy that's like I'll have a beer and I never had that even now when I think about I've sober almost seven years six and a half years even now when I think about a drink I'm not like a be fun to have a beer I'm like a be fun to have fucking five hundred beers right now advances to go whole hog and Yak out again yeah so I then the problem was you know when you quit drinking

so like the first 90 days they're like just don't worry about anything except for not drinking just eat whatever do whatever and so I started doing that with food I was like I'm eating cookies and stuff and then I just never started so I just did that for years with food and now that's kind of caught up to me what do you do you think now and how many years have been sober now about six and a half so you're just sober now you're cool with it your is who you are yeah imagine if you did a show called Joe liske gets fucked up where it's like you have handlers to make sure you don't shit in anybody shoe yeah everything taken care of and you go look I haven't had a drink in six years but I'm sober now I'm content being sober but for tonight and tonight only we're having a one night Joe liske gets fucked up special yeah and you just started a bar and start getting hammered I think I would have to perform early and then I'm out doing a show no no no the show would be just following you around with cameras while you get

okay because I guess if it's a show and have to do it early oh yeah I'd have to have like two beers because then I'd be sobbing and be like my fucking I fell apart yeah I said I had it yeah so six years now I've been sober at no time zero that's the motivate one of the motivating from is a lot but like the idea of going back to like I'm day what it's like such a which happens it's part of getting sober and people go I don't want to disparage people that are having that happen but like it's such a bummer to fucking walk back in there and be like on one day happens of course I knew a lot of guys who had that they would get sober flick here and died back in yeah I went a day well I tried early on I tried to quit drinking and then I was like oh I'll smoke pot though because I don't have and then you realize with wheat like I'm like oh I'm outside of my mind this is the same as

I'm fucked up like we get high enough you're like well this is not sobriety I'm fucking retarded right right right was was your thing just not being in your mind getting outside of your mind or was you thing blacking out and ruining your life because the think the only thing that's good about pot as you don't feel terrible yeah well I think I have like that addictive personality so then I'd be highlight but now it does seem like more appealing because nowadays first of all it's like you can go to store and there's a guy that's like this weed makes you feel happy this one chills you out this one makes you gay this one's great yeah like before when I was I just never big weed guy but I'll get drunk and smoke and sometimes you just smoked some fucking crazy demon we'd be out of your mind it was just whatever we'd was just weed now it feels like there's categories and shit dude I did be real Smoke Box you know be real from Cypress Hill I die I do now I know Cypress Hill be real is you know the guy who talks wraps and the crazy high pitch voice

dr. Fink oh yeah I did his Smoke Box and you get in this Cadillac and you smoke weed until you are no longer even a person you are just you are a thought that is like a cork that's flowing down a raging river headed to a waterfall like you are so fucked up yeah and you trying to have a conversation and you being filmed and these guys do that every day they just there's people that just get obliterated every day yeah I think that sometimes we'd people don't take it sick of it's like it's just weed and it's a its natural whatever but sometimes there's people that I'm like yeah but you're fucked up all day every day yeah if you have an addictive personality and you have a problem with anything there's a lot of people that get into that Kratom stuff do you know what that stuff is mmm create them as

it's like a plant-based I think people are trying to call it an opiate I don't know if it's technically an opiate but it's legal you can buy and it helps people and it actually alleviates a lot of the symptoms of opiates and it acts as a mild stimulant when you take a little bit of it like if you take two pills it's like a cup of coffee let's like oh I like this is nice but then I said I wonder what it's like and I was asking a friend of mine who takes it all the time ago how much do you take and he's like I take ten pills I got 10 you take 10 like what the fuck is that like so I did it I tried it I think I took a timely thing I took ten and I was fucked up I was like oh you guys are getting high yeah like this is your hi I'm high right now like this is not like you're not sober don't tell me you're sober and you take an eight pills a Kratom like that stuff gets you high right and you can buy legally but it's weird hi it's like everything functions like your muscles and your arms and everything moves the way it's supposed to it doesn't feel like you're uncoordinated or your

being a stumbling or anything like that but your brain is like this is not sober it's just like screaming this is not sober but it's a different kind of this is not sober interesting yeah you're not you like I could have a conversation with you and you might not even know that I was fucked up on this stuff right and I could go lift weights are you go do something I wouldn't it wouldn't impale you go running on that stuff so is it like a heady buzzer like a body to anything right ahead it's a weird one like I was really shocked at how high I got hmm because I felt like because that's what someone said they said if you take two pills it has a mild stimulant effect somewhere to cup of coffee but if you take multiple pills then it becomes more of like a like a downer or not it's not a downer more relaxing more like an opiate right but I didn't realize how fucked up you actually get like you get pretty fucked up and then you get a tolerance for it so that a lot of these guys are taking like ten pills than going to the gym no like I need it for my back like getting blasted yeah that's like that was booze and all drugs it feels like you kind of

that yeah thing I mean that's yeah yeah well that's the thing right it's like we were talking about with smartphones or like we're talking about video games like things get a get away from you yeah that's part of the problem being a comic right like all of us there's something wrong with your brain to want to do this right yeah I think there's definitely some sort of Desire this is some attention you didn't get somewhere something and you're upset about it and so when you're not onstage or when you are in your trying to do something else to make you forget about that yeah attention or affection you didn't get somewhere along the line yeah it's a fucking if you can harness it though like that I didn't get enough attention he's can be super beneficial it gives you Insight yeah it'll give you motivation if you can harness it yeah it's interesting to go that sort of self reflecting and therapy or whatever it whatever your method is or people do it with mushrooms or whatever but then introspective of like

all those moments where you're like I'm doing that because of that that's neat yeah then there's the next step of no longer doing the things you don't want to do because of that or the habits that you have and the next up you go to the ramdas center and Malibu start doing acid oh well then a malleable they have it where is it where is it Maui Duncan Duncan goes to Maui every year Hank someone ROM Dawson wow they meditate it's exciting yeah people come from all over the world to meet this guy and meditate with him yeah that's pretty amazing I listen to I love tick not hon you know that guy no oh he's a Buddhist monk I think he's about to die I think he's like in his 90s he hung out with like MLK back in the day no OK nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize he's written like 70 books he's the one who made him again kick not hard it's thi CH space and h80 where is he

his from Vietnam but now he's been in he's been living in France for like I don't know 30 years he's got his own meditation center but he writes all these books and this video is you can find do you meditate I do I tried I tried sometimes I just I'm such a fucking anxious guy that it's sometimes hard but I'd read him a lot and Jack kornfield tomatoes with if that's technology yeah that's 90 years old he's close he's in his old picture probably right but I also yeah I mean he's a he's a real zen master so yeah so maybe he's gonna live forever or some shit and then Tara Brach I listened to her poem he's old as fuck now her yeah that makes more sense I listened to her like guided meditation I'll do that but use a nap I just heard her podcast has like a she does he's guided ones so not a nap but a podcast and then sometimes I'll just sit have you ever done a float tank yet no I'm your guy I don't know what your producer I guess

I was showing it to me but I feel like I'd have a fucking panic attack in there you just open the door anytime you want okay and it's not like it's closes you in yeah it seems terribly the door just go like just like that touch it gently will open it's nothing that's good to know yeah but now I've never I've never done it I should but yeah I've had panic disorder throughout my life and I just for the first time in like a long time had a couple panic attacks last week for the first time in two years yeah what was fucking with you I think a lot there's like a well first of all doing this show is anxiety and of now I feel like we're just bullshitting I'm just trying to pretend there's not that's how it always is lesser of people listening I'm glad that you got there because when we said in the beginning we almost didn't start if you want to tell people you were telling me that you were kind of anxious I will so let's just talk let's just disarming but oh well I'm not trying to be I appreciate it I appreciate that you are but I think a lot of it is like you know this is a huge show and then my wife was doing late night last night and then I'm on the road

Louis and you know he's I have a lot of my biggest fears are being like you know disliked and wanting to be yeah these people I'm a people pleaser as many alcoholics are so I feel like you feel like you're in the fire and these controversial situations in the bigger audience the more people are breaking down what you're saying and being like what's up with this fucking guy what is it like doing the road with are you doing the row with Louis now yeah what we did a few dates I've done a few dates with them it's great as the protest died down and there was we just did Acme Minneapolis I think that maxed out at eight people outside so but for the most part is like four or five do you say hi to them no I just walked by him and I respect them for doing their whatever they're doing but it's guided yeah you know what I was really angry at I was really angry at comedians response to his leak set

that was very angry about that yeah it was strange but I think people get pulled up into this thing it for some reason there's a thing now where everyone thinks they're supposed to have a take on every thing hmm exacto matter what happens there like I better come up with a tweet or might take or anything it's not actually necessary people ask you you why don't you have a take on this right why haven't you tweeted about this right like there was a the the Christ Church Massacre happened and I was reading about it and I was like goddamn this is fucking crazy and I'm reading about this in this guy was a white nationalist and is said hi to pootie pie before he went and killed all those people like what the fuck like what is this yeah and then I never checked my mentions and then I just was because I was on Twitter looking at all this stuff I saw something that led to something that someone tagged me in then I looked at my mentions for a second and like how come you're not talking about Christchurch you racist piece of shit but

I'll get it just happened yeah and I don't have a take like what the fuck am I supposed to say rest in peace like what is what does anyone want you to say when a massacre happens this was horrible everybody knows it's horrible yeah it's a weird thing down if you don't denounce something and people you're like then you're on your reporting it yeah and you're like I'm just trying to with me there's been situations were just talking to people like they don't want you talking to certain people because those people are right wing or those people and if you must be secretly white right wing right I'm not I tell you I'm not like why don't you believe me it's a weird thing I'm a liberal guy was cut myself a 90s liberal before everything went sideways yeah I'm not like whatever you know woke is happening yeah I'm a you know yeah Alyssa Milano's calling for a sex strike yeah I saw that I like that's good work luck well that's what you do when no one to fuck you anymore yeah start saying crazy shit like when I have a stack we're gonna have a sex drive

ladies you're gonna hold out like that and Tim pull had the best take on that he's saying so men who agree with you won't get laid right like what don't even make any sense like but the idea that it's it's the same thing we're talking about earlier they've lumped men into this category like women are going to go on strike until we respect their Reproductive Rights within Georgia first of all it's just Georgia you want to strike for the whole country that's not going to help Georgia I don't know if you understand voting but that's not how it works right State politics local politics second of all like most men don't have anything to do with this not like we have men meetings where we get together and say hey we gotta stop these women from dope they're exercising their Reproductive Rights right so like what you're punishing a bunch of people that have nothing to do with this because we also have penises like what what's the thought process there this is so but it's such an obvious virtue signal it's so

obvious that this is like pussy hats the women's want we're gonna do this we're gonna do this and then we're gonna we're gonna sex strike and a bunch of her friends probably like yeah this is gonna work like this is not how to handle things it's not us I've never voted against women's Reproductive Rights right so if you're telling like my wife she can't fuck me because if she does she's not down for the cause like what you orchestrating everyone sex life that's crazy yes gonna make people angry at you it's a little strange and I'm like I think that guys that guy's an asshole can I still get laid nothing he stinks now you can't and the you know abortion such a fucking creepy subject to because it's such a Minefield like if you're a man and you even talk about it like first of all why are you talking about it has nothing to do with you it's a woman's right to choose and a woman's body like okay I get it yes but it's a thing so if it's a thing you're allowed to talk about a thing right and this thing happens to be a fetus that could become a Joe list or a Jamie Vernon or Joe Rogan

who the fuck is it going to be a person if it keeps going me Fernand that guy right there oh AJ young Jamie so that if as the feed is grow it will become a person now I'm not saying you shouldn't be able to terminate the pregnancy I'm not saying that but that is what it is it is it's going to be a person and to pretend anything else it's like they don't no one wants you to discuss it that way like no one wants you to say that this is a viable Offspring it's going to be a person someday no one wants you to say that it's just there's code words like a woman's right to choose there's like these these ways of describing it which I agree with I'm not a pro life personal pro-choice person right but when it gets to be like five months old

and then people say well that's just a woman's right to choose okay okay it is it is it is but that's a baby now but that thing could live outside the womb but isn't there isn't that law and I don't even read that Georgia law but isn't I don't know the Georgia law but look this thing with now they can late tan term isn't that specifically if the baby or mother is in danger no no not everywhere in some places it is in some places it's not some place you just have the right to have an abortion up until certain amount of time and I think it varies I don't think there's a federal guidelines I think that's one of the reasons why Georgia just instituted this six-week thing like their thing is the moment the child is a heart rate the heartbeat and that apparently is six weeks in right sometimes people don't even find out they're pregnant until seven eight nine weeks in and yeah saying they have to carry the baby

yeah it's a fucking Minefield yeah it's a hard and like many subjects people want it to be just kind of black-and-white yeah but we need to have a sex strike to Sue this out yeah that's what it is girls we're going to go on a sex strike how many women read that and were like yeah none how about zero many maybe it maybe a few thousand few crazy bitches just out of their flight and a few men like yes please take it away from me please let me show my furniture let me show my virtue yeah I imagine it's a small amount magic being her husband she's like going on a sex strike that's its extract and she sees the fucking the Twitter post and she made a poster for it like with the little fucking pink ribbon and shit like good Christ he's probably like it just he's probably talking to his lawyer like what okay what would I lose it okay if we let if I left right now like how much would I have to pay like what if she can test that okay and then how much of the legal fees are how many what is it like an average amount of time you have to spend it

word my with all man they all did it no sex for any man until we get our rights well it's a very similar I mean isn't that the mindset of racism yes exactly a very similar mindset of like oh someone was murdered at least you know six guys in the train were yelling at me exactly no more Latinos on the train Yeah a hundred percent the same things generalizations and the idea that you have anything to do with other males and it's even crazier than racism because it's like the whole gender so the whole gender it's like not not just like just white guys suck know like fucking everybody sucks nobody gets any pussy right for until we sort this out yeah but I but do you think maybe part of it is just that what is this Jamie oh this is Bridget my friend Bridget fantasy what's the mulattos husband to call me but you know what's funny is she liked it yeah she liked it Alyssa Milano liked it good joke she's got it

she's funny Bridget fantasy is very funny but she's got to know that was ridiculous thing to say sometimes you swing any mess just like sometimes you have a joke the tryout and bombs and the or I will fuck this joke yeah I've been on jokes where I'm like oh no one even realized an attempt at humor had just been made those are really like oh sorry you know what's weird when a line kills at one show and then dies at the next show no no I swear that's the same joke yeah it's crazy sometimes bits just work for like weeks and then they go away and then they stop and you're like what the fuck happened here I think it's your enthusiasm for them yeah I think that's probably part of it yeah and it feels more fresh at the beginning and yeah you start faking the funk in the crowd starts to smell it yeah you don't give a fuck about the subject they can smell it on me what movie is this they can smell it on me sure is that dog can smell it remember everybody what is that that was a Tim Roth and Reservoir docks oh really I do what impression and it's Tim Roth

and it's not even great fuck

you here because he's got British but he's doing an American accent so sometimes it kind of sounds weird they can smell it on me that's what he's in the drug deal oh yeah on that story those are good fucking movie I love that movie I met Quentin Tarantino he's an odd fellow he's a wonderful artist but yeah it's a whole bazaars very odd but he's a fantastic director but he had a bombshell with them roof was like to be a woman is what that guy looks like to be with with her like wolf boy did you figure it out okay I'm not good at Impressions I'm really bad at Impressions so will you pissed off when that Louis C.K recording got released in comics were denouncing it yeah it was where I mean it's a bummer of a few first of all people a lot of people were like these aren't even jokes he's not even joking anymore and you're like no no their jokes like I understand if you're don't like it or you're offended but you're like they're definitely jokes he's on stage

he doesn't really think that they threw a fat kid in front of them and that's not how he feels he's saying something that's fucked up and funny and it's funny because it's fucked up because you're not supposed to say it which is the exact thing he's done his whole career right and it's a new bed wasn't supposed to be right heard outside of this isn't done and for these people look there's a lot of times you'll say something one way and then you like it's not working and then you'll figure out another way to sneak in through the back door and works way better and then if they heard the first way and like this joke sucks like no no I figured out I say it later but now it's already on YouTube you've ruined the material yeah I mean he dropped the bit because it's kind of like yeah it's out there too much but at a fucking hilarious line if you want people to forget about you jerking off make jokes about kids getting shot yeah it does there's also funny line where he's like why are you in a suit which is funny but yeah and then people were talking about how now

the parents have to hear this and stuff and you're like well they weren't going to you took it and put it out and CBS picked it up and put it on CBS so now they're hearing it but before that there was just a hundred eighty people in Long Island hearing it and yeah which is what it was supposed to be but the thing about working on material is if you like comedy you can't release people shit like that because you're never going to get good comedy because everyone's going to like every time Dave Chappelle does is you know workouts at or anybody you're gonna get these half-cooked bits and then you're going to release them and it's going to ruin it for you it's going to ruin it for the people that listen it's like for the people that are in the room that's for them right if you're taking it out like in there's been a lot of talk about Louis making this copyright thing saying that you know that there was a legal action if you print or you do anything to record or do anything to put the material online right and someone saying he can't do that

well why can't he do that the deal in the difference between that and music like if you go to hear someone singing a song and you write down the lyrics go oh my God Gary Clark jr. has this amazing new song Here's the lyrics that doesn't ruin the song right but if you say oh he's got this hilarious joke into the twist is he says this well you just fucked that bit up for everyone that's ever going to listen to it a read that right yeah it's a it's frustrating it was a frustrated and then people start being like he's all right now he's going to do any like no he's not people are goddamn crazy but the comedians that denounced it were embarrassing it's like do you not know what a workout set is do you understand this guy was out of Comedy for almost a year do you know that this guy was doing a fucking hour after being out of Comedy for almost a year fuck you if we stop pretending that what you do is different stop and so many people are doing it and it's like turned out that they had a bunch of jokes that were awful or about a mass shooting for about

pulling your dick out in front of someone or about anything along those lines it's also a bad precedent to start where I'm like do we really want to start publicly shitting on Comics unfinished bits exactly that seems like that I don't want that no it was like I saw a list at fucking Cellar and he's got this hack you like give me a moment or tell me behind the closed doors that like my bit tacky or something how long is your a bit ready before like you have a Comedy Central special you have something right I did I have a Netflix half hour and I did a Comedy Central half hour okay so how long did you have to work on those bits before you were ready to put them on Comedy Central or Netflix quite a while I like to do a bit at least three months before it's somewhere yeah well as the very least it's really yeah and it depends on the bit right some bits are pretty fucking good a couple weeks in yeah yeah other bits are I've got a couple of bits of my act now I'm on like this motherfucker needs an overhaul and I don't even know where to start yeah I've had bits that I did have done for two years and then

finally find a line you're like that there we go that was it and then you're like now it's more of a bit these aren't because it takes it takes time to figure it out and but yeah it's Comics should but I understand people people hate Lou and they're going to hate them so whatever he does or says they're gonna be the hate him I don't believe it you know what I think a lot of it is I think people are justifiably upset at the idea of him jerking off in front of women that didn't want him to here's there's a couple factors that the one is that he asked you know yeah it's a weird thing to want to do jerk off in front of people but he asked and a lot of these stories the way you're getting the version of it it's like worst-case scenario it's like he blocked the door he didn't block any doors yeah you know and there were laughing like people were joking around like it became this traumatic thing years later talking about it after the fact but then on top of that it's like God don't you think the guy has suffered enough like when when is he suffering enough

you see this lack of empathy with people where they don't even want to respect that he's a human being they don't they don't want to appreciate any of his old work they don't want to they don't have anything that he could do that would make them just go all right well I know you're not going to do that again and you seem like a reasonable person so like we like you can't be your past you're not the guy who's shitting that sneaker right your Joe list today yeah right yeah nobody wants to be remembered for the worst right thing they did it's and it's I think it's just a thing where they know it's an easy target I really do I think at a certain point in time people just decide that this is a guy that you can take a free shot at and you can shit on them and you can attribute things to him that aren't true you can attribute tribute a bunch of things to him that are not accurate right and it's easy to like like calling them all right or saying Louis XI K showing his true colors now Jesus Christ go back and watch his bit about hitting a deer okay okay it's the fucking ridiculous really funny material

and that's what I enjoyed about his act right this that that bit if left alone I mean it's an atom is act now but if left alone in x amount of time he would have crafted that into a great bit I'm sure of it yeah I agree and there's so much there was a bunch of shitty fucking half-ass Comics that came out and we're talking trash about it I was like you guys should shut the fuck up because this this whole art form is about trial and error this whole art form is about being with a war it's one of the rare things that we need a crowd to in order to for these things to come alive we had it and you have to take chances I just saw ironically with Louis I went we went and saw Apocalypse Now during the Tribeca film festival and Francis Ford Coppola was there and he came out and he spoke about the film beforehand and after hmm and Robert Duvall was off also there he came out no Charlie don't surf it was amazing and it was really unbelievable but Coppola was talking after the film and he was like

I don't have you know the whole story about Apocalypse Now that documentary hearts of darkness which is amazing and like he put like his house up for sale to like or put everything on the line to make the movie himself and he was just talking about you have to take chances with our he's like there's no art without taking big chances yeah and I mean that's you're taking a chance by doing a joke I mean I wouldn't do a joke about the Parkland shooting by wouldn't either but but you know it's a risk and it might go bad and it went well he got laughs yeah it got laughs but certainly if you take anything outside of comedy comedy club and put it out in the public it's not for those people for the people that bought the ticket well it's also in context of the experience of being in a comedy club having a couple drinks watching a hilarious guy talk some shit especially a guy coming back after a national Scandal right worldwide worldwide Scandal yes you know and it's just like I wouldn't joke around about them getting shot either but

one of the things that made that bit work was that yes it was a horrible tragedy yes those kids went through that yes they're teenagers yes they're trying to figure out life and they're being interviewed on CNN and some of them were changing their opinions and they're developing and growing as we speak but like one of them like they David hog I brought fuck the patriarchy on his Twitter the other day like that was his tweet like in and not even as a joke like that's an 18 year old that's what kids do yeah they say silly shit that's why the bit worked right was like why are you interesting right you know like why do I have to hear from you but well you have to hear from them because their friends got shot me but but no one obviously like that's not you this is not a conversation this is stand-up comedy is an art form and saying things that are funny that are fucked up that's part of the art form If you deny that you just either you that's like not the kind of Comedy you like or you don't appreciate what comedy is yeah and also it's a weird thing where I'm like

for those kids yeah it's great like this horrible thing happened and you're like we're going to use what power we have them like I think that's great yes and they might actually fucking do something I mean it's like they're making changes and I'm like that's like fucking power to the people God bless you but I can still laugh at a joke about it it's still funny to me to see someone be like why are you in a suit you can both things can exist you can have empathy for murder victims and even be like room to be like wow that's amazing what these kids are doing all these still a blow job and still be like that's funny it's funny look it's not as best joke but it's wasn't done you fucks and here's the other thing like you know Brian Holtzman is I don't think so gotta see him when you're in town if you can he's fucking hilarious he's a legitimate Maniac he's like a legend in Los Angeles start when I started the comic store in 94 he was already there and really fucking funny but he had it remember when Susan Smith drowned her kids that lady she pushed her fucking car

into a river or something and drowned her kids no but it sounds like he was on stage a very short amount of time afterwards going ladies gentlemen I heard those were bad kids he goes I heard they sat that close to the TV the never put away that blocks there was spilling the fucking milk those kids will not be missed yeah and you were just like what it's not hidden

we think those were bad kids yeah it's a fucked up thing to say that happens to be funny yeah you might not be into that kind of humor that's okay well that's part of I think what comedy is or has always been is saying a thing you're not supposed to say that's up to me the very idea of Comedy yes is you're saying abnormal things right like you talking about coming in your own face and well yeah or someone coming in your face yeah you're not supposed to express your sexual desires so openly it's not not that you really mean that I do not funny right right I think so right wasn't she funny

it's an art form that is often cited or quoted as if it's a statement you know like he said this like yeah and he said that on stage in a comedy club as a part of a big giant chunk about this and you're taking it out of context and you do it in the worst possible way you put it in print of course it looks terrible yeah of course looks terrible in print because it's not in a comedy club it's not in context it's like that has no relationship to the actual bid itself your print version of it it's not it's a lie you should go to jail for saying that's the joke you're a liar you're a liar you're defaming someone you're taking what they're doing and you're pretending that what they were saying is what they mean right you know that's not what they mean that's why I don't care remember that Lenny boots and that's in the movie Lenny I think we talked about they were like reading his act yes and he's at but you're not saying it right exactly it's the same

I think it's what no one thinks school shootings are a good thing no one does no one does

they're doing jokes about it because we know it's a horrible tragedy that's why jokes work and they don't they don't work because you're mean they don't work because you're horrible they weren't because everyone knows you're joking if everybody really thought you were horrible person and you were happy that people get shot they wouldn't laugh at a goddamn thing he said right that's it's a it's a fucking weird art form it's a weird art form and for it to be dismantled and disrespected the way it is where people are people break down people's bits and take them out of context like that it's it's so foolish and the fact that people don't stand up for it that are in the art form itself that drives me fucking crazy it drove me angry there's a bunch of people don't even talk to anymore Mike I'm not talking to you anymore like this what you're going to do if I do a bit that's half cooked and they're going to talk shit about me right like this you're doing this for your own favor you're not doing this for the art form you're not doing you're not an empathetic

she did not look do you don't looking at him as a human being saying well clearly the guy fucked up he made some mistakes and it was but look that does if you listen to that set that's a good set especially for a guy who's been out of Comedy for almost a fucking year yeah it's gotten a lot stronger I'm sure yeah this is hilarious comedian mean he's gonna get to a point where he's got a real motherfucker of an hour and then someone's going to have to figure out whether or not they're willing to take a chance and put it on what's like your time earlier to me you can also just put it on YouTube as website or YouTube yes I hope he does that you know I mean the it's this idea that you should be punished for eternity so like what do we Catholics like what's going on here like what is this you know what did he do I mean he did something that caused one up costing them $35,000,000 massive public shame still to this day more than so it's almost like two years later was like a year and a half now you have November 2017 yeah what the fuck like what do you want them

do you know I mean we're not talking about Harvey Weinstein here and this idea that you're you know you're not even supposed to compare offenders you know you're not supposed to make judgment calls well of course you are that's why some people go to jail for life and some people go to jail for two years and this is this is the reason why we have lesser punishment for lesser crimes right now this is a system yeah place if you ask people if you can jerk off in front of him and they say no and you don't jerk off in front of them good for you you got some restraint if you ask people if you can jerk off in front of it and they say yes and you do it look maybe it's a weird thing to do yeah but you're not Bill Cosby okay to say that you're not supposed to make these comparisons it's like this is a loaded subject to right we're talking about this and I see you're nervous yeah I'm terrified but yeah no I I love Louis I love Louis to he said he's a great comic yeah he's a great guy also but yeah I understand people are upset I get it I get it but I think it's disproportionate I really do you know I have a degree

yeah hardly but yeah how long do you think it's going to be before people to just let it go well I think I think there's actually a the group of people that are really upset about it I think it's probably like a quarter of a million people that's a lot of people it's a lot of people but there's like 300 million people in the country maybe it's less than a quarter of a million it's I thought I think it's the minority so you think most people like he did something crazy but the other thing is like you want to kind of see the guy of jerked off in front of women so people want to go see him I mean he's a great comic stuff but I mean the show's I mean I read Twitter and stuff sometimes I'll go on to that will hang out and I'll just search his name to see and one time we went out to eat in New York and there was a kid you know like a hipster eke it looks similar to me actually but like a young kid and he stopped and just like stared at us and was like I think started taking photos and then he left and then I looked up Louise name on Twitter and I found the kid and he wrote just all caps just gave Louis

finger which he didn't know something there is and then he wrote you signaling and then he wrote attention NYU students is all caps Louis CK is in the neighborhood make him uncomfortable exclamation point we're like that's like psychotic you're a that's what I was talking about earlier that I think he's a Target I think they just decide that this is what they're going to do now yeah like that guy was saying that he gave you the finger when he didn't that's the virtue signaling aspect of it is one of the weirdest Parts about social media because it's people that ordinarily like in a real world scenario you have an opportunity to say something if you really feel so compelled the guys right in front of you don't say shit and then you get online and tell other people to do it right other people to make them uncomfortable well for the most part yeah well we'll go around and it is everything is It's the weird thing about online most people are much different in person because you realize it's a human being I think the natural thing is like oh this is a person exactly and then you know we'll go to like these kind of hipstery coffee shops where you think that

that kind of person would be and then it goes Hi how are you can I get a car and they go oh sure yeah that nobody how many people get dirty looks and stuff yeah there was that way more online than the not online but that's a show because all the shows are all selling out and there's a few people outside you ever talk to this because sometimes you just get in no I don't think so how does he get in this kind of a back door we just went in the back and you know good for them I think that they're misguided like you said but yeah I I think they want him to be this evil person they should be protesting against but I think if you look at it on paper what he did was just not good it's like it's you know the worst that I had heard was at some people's careers at suffered because they were talking about it right at someone but I don't know how much of that is accurate I don't know I need to find out about that yeah I don't know either I don't know the whole time but I always feel like I Love Lucy he's one of my best friends now which is

to say but we're close but I don't really begrudge the women I think that two different people can have the same experience and take different things from it feel different ways and I understand sexuality is weird so like they could in the moment his perception might be will they said yes and I think he kind of talks about this a little bit on stand I don't want to tell his feelings stories to tell but I think one person can be like I thought they were into I thought they were saying yes there and do it and those women can say can feel yeah we kind of said yes but we felt fucked up and pressured to people can have the same experience and have different perspective so I don't course yeah but Grudge any of the women I understand that they are hurt and feel mistreated or even if you say yes you're still and you see something you didn't want to see well and you can never unsee it yes like it's in your head yeah I understand they're affected by that but but Senator Graham front of you know I keep asking

I'll do it no no I got some to maybe have to ask first maybe that's his thing Bobby I initiate I blew it maybe you have to like push I yeah so you know what I would hate if you jerked off on me so like dropouts yeah maybe I will but he's a but he's a he's a he's a good person and a great dad and I love him I love the guy yeah everybody wants to erase everything he's ever done it's so like didn't FX like come not just cancel it but they made the show unavailable yeah I think you can get it on iTunes but yeah it's done and then I think he's still on Netflix though yeah yes yeah but yeah you can still see but they canceled the new one that he was going to do ya supposed to us and then pets to later he got rid of them yeah so it was a bummer but it's weird with people I mean shouldn't we be empathetic to all people yes function I think we should and I think you know maybe it would serve him if he went out and talked about it extensively like had a conversation

like maybe videotaped it or something mean I don't know like if people had his take on it other than that little letter that he wrote right after it happened yeah maybe that would help yeah which I thought was a good apology a good statement I thought yeah some people will never be happy and some people were happy with it and some people just felt like it wasn't enough that you know he didn't specifically say I am sorry you know I feel horrible I'm sorry I did this he basically said he did it and those stories are true and that he fucked up and he thought that they you know he thought about them saying yes that that was okay but meanwhile he took advantage of the fact they admired him yeah and he's right yeah yeah he expressed regret for like but like you said just come people are going to be unhappy no matter no matter what no matter what no even if you said I am sorry that's not good enough you're only sorry because you got caught like people they're always going to have there's some people that are just not empathetic and

this is what I really got very angry about with the the the leak of the recording my cats not his best material of course it's not she didn't hasn't done comedy in 10 months like when I was hearing it from other Comedians and like do you how do you how do you do this right don't you do the same thing we do right like what are you doing

he's a fucking person is a human being he's a year and a half of him being stared at everywhere he goes yeah and fucked with he gets it and losing friends yes I'm sure yeah but he those friends feel awesome friends he's better off if you lost friends because of that like if that was Ari I would call him up like if there was a New York Times article about re jerking off in front of people I'd be like bro I'm a little hurt you never jerked out front of me like I feel like I wouldn't I would if he saw I got fucked up like I've had conversations with Ari about things where you know he's like I fucked up I should have done that was a bitch move I killed Talia yeah you know like you can't do anything like if once you're my friend like unless you're out there murdering kids or something or doing something really fucked up were actually raping someone yeah any friends at Louis loss for that like come on man

what did you think do you think it was a perfect person he's a nut it's a maniac shot him professional comedian right right you know yeah but flawed people yeah that's how it all comes out good it's like just got to be something fucked up about your head where you can come up with these and the another one that drives me crazy is these guys who you know are Freaks and they're out of their fucking mind off stage but on stage they have like sort of more squeaky-clean thing and their public thing is more squeaky clean and they're judgmental about it like oh my God like please stop your fucking crazy as anybody you just have a good squeaky clean act so shut your hole yeah sometimes I think the people with the cleanest acts of the wildest animals it's often the case yeah it's often the case yeah which is fine man like perfect examples Brian Regan in a good way he is so fucking funny and so clean the funniest and you go this

kind of be fucked up there's got to be something wrong with you nothing hang out with them supernormal friendly guy nice to everybody great guy the nicest guy what is in your dungeon sir what time we were hanging out and he was smoking a cigar and I thought it'd be funny to say hey can I get a little bit of that cigar box that's such a ridiculous and he was like oh sure and I was like what I'm kidding I wouldn't put my mouth on your cigar but you wait all right yeah we do with the joint yeah which I thought was strange to and a blunt you do with a blunt which is kind of half joined half cigar yeah maybe actually I'm the asshole in the story maybe he's not even that nice it's just a normal know that is a weird thing to ask a cigar feels very personal to and you're like it's yours for like an hour exactly yeah joints just kind of a quick well yeah joints to hits like if you have a whole joint yourself you're greedy yeah it's also there's like a camaraderie thing that comes from smoking joints together yeah I agree yeah that's right I'm back it's ready no that's um right here it's all over the place yeah well this is all filled with we did see that chest over there that's a full chest

with weed wow isn't that can you get in trouble for that no it's legal but with that much couldn't get you for intent to distribute or something no it's legal here really you can say your case yeah marijuana is legal but like guns are illegal that guy had a thousand they put that guy had illegal sales he was selling I got you I think they got tipped off that he was a dealer he's probably selling it to gang members and drug dealers and such oh no oh my dumb dumb dumb do you think about having just a little weed just a little it's a little touch that's what would you just go start shooting heroin like immediately I know I don't think I would do that but I don't I don't think we'd does not as much excitement anything what does drinking

yeah I mean I love drink I'll drink I mean I drank I mean I still I joke about it like I love my sobriety but like one and a half Vicodin and three beer was like the best I've ever felt in my life yeah and like a cigar what's I went to beg that I did like Uso thing with Nate bargatze and we had like.we bought Cubans and I had some vague I took like a Vicodin I don't know if he did I don't want to I don't think he did but I like a Vicodin we had a couple beers and a cigar we're at Saddam Hussein's Palace and if in the moment I was like this is the best I've ever felt did you do stand up over there yeah what is it like doing stand-up for the troops over there it was fine it wasn't me it was the most grateful audience they were like so nice and kind and it was really cool I mean some of it sucked because someone was like 2:00 in the afternoon and there's like 12 guys it's fucking a hundred degrees they're holding rifles being like what the fuck is this that was a show a couple of them yeah some of it some of them were like the ones in Kuwait were better because that was like not a war zone

and you're on a base and it's like a hundred people but some of them were like just in the middle of the 11 o'clock in the morning in the middle of fucking Baghdad wow but it's pretty amazing like we got to fly on these Blackhawks and we were in Baghdad we went by the those cross swords and stuff where the statue was pulled down and shit what did you do when you're in Sodom Hussein's Palace that became like an American base we stayed there wow yeah it's kind of fucking paid in Sodom Hussein's Palace yeah it's pretty great I don't think I did I think Nate and I shared a room and I asked me he said no so I would have to I think I'd feel compelled to be like bro you gonna have to leave the room I got a I got a goal I got to check something off the list it's a bizarre feeling because you know we like it was like yeah we took over and then just made this Palace into a paste and there's like a driving range you can like hit until like his prayer Pond or whatever whatever the function is like reflection fools got a prayer pain filled with golf balls yeah that's hilarious and they sell Cubans and like the lobby

kheh yeah we're somewhere we're putting we are fucking some yeah but no it was amazing it was awesome one time we were on the Blackhawk helicopter they shoot flares out for whatever I can't remember why on every flight but they didn't tell us that so all of a sudden you just hear like and you feel the heat and I thought we were in a fucking battle I almost shit my like it felt like you know you don't have to shit and all of a sudden you're like this is shit I could shit right now yeah it was that feeling your body tries to evacuate anything in there because the thinks it's in danger yeah so like what's built we want to be able to run let's get a yeah well you get really nervous like that the city immediately have to piss and shit yeah I just took a huge hit right before this show did you use the little buttons on the toilet to shoot water up your asshole it wasn't here I was afraid you'd beat me up if I should so is that the Starbuck you know who did do that James Brown when you that's one of the ways he got arrested and shot up someone who used his toilet oh I'm gonna shoot out with the cops and I wish there's a picture of him his mug shot right out there it was from that

rest wow yeah yeah I should at Starbucks I was at the Starbucks across the street by the way and almost cooties I was in line and like a dude a white dude with a skateboard just cut in front of me in the line it's very bizarre and I said what I'm in love I'm in love I'm next and he's like can I just buy some gum he was buying Starbucks gum which is already a red flag and I was like I guess I mean it was an Isaac I'm leaving work in five minutes well what a dick I didn't know you could do that can't do that all right to be anywhere but she's talk to you like that that was early but yeah he looked at me like I was an asshole yeah he's a dick that's like maybe you shouldn't be buying gum also maybe might want to find a different means of transportation than a skateboard Yeah you're late fuck yeah you fucking late loser I'm gonna be at work in five minutes and I need gum what do you do do you talk clothes for a living yeah a fucking jerk if you're listening off he probably listening he doesn't he does I didn't know where I was going didn't know he's probably like I'm so sorry bro

no I didn't want to get knocked at work

we're gonna get in trouble man and I hate that was last time you had a job

2007 which do I worked at Sears I did loss prevention was amazed it was one of the best day jobs ever really well my cousin was the boss which helped and he let me work from ten to six which is great comedy hours hmm and then we were like plain closed I guess just oh so you just walked around busted people stealing yeah I had like a little radio on the the belt and then we had a crazy camera system for 2007 like it was I think we had 82 cameras and you could zoom and shit and just watch people all day and then you walk around the store and be like we got to keep an eye on the camera 11 so you like a secret agent it was fun it was really fun and we got to stop shop lifters and shit was amazing I miss I actually miss it it was really fun wow

I used to work for a private investigator and similar yeah it was it actually turned out it was one of those people were you meet and you go this guy should be a comedian he was hilarious name is Dave Dolan he's dead now and I keep a voicemail message from him just because he was such in such character he was just such a fucking character and he was hilarious and he got a DUI and they took away his license and what he really needed was not an assistant he needed a driver so I just had a good have a good drivers license so but I was working as an assistant and then we became friends and we bust people mostly people that were stealing insurance money there were like doing things like pretending they were injured and they take another job on the side and then we'd catch him we'd have to get there like five o'clock in the morning wait for them to get up and go to work and then follow them take pictures of them and shit that's fun it was fun gig yeah was fine it was real fun too because he was actually cousins with build Downs who is

one of the owners of the comedy connection Bill nobody Downs that's it yeah what for that guy could be tapped me too many times and that was day was his cousin so it's like just dumb luck I became friends with this guy but from driving them around and his cousin was the got one of the guys that own the comedy connection wow yeah I loved working at Sears it was fun I feel like comedians actually good at that job because we're yeah we're aware and we're doing a lot of judging anyway so he wants you like an audience come in you like that guy's Gonna Hate Me This Woman's too drunk that guy's fat right and I think it's similar to shoplift be like something's up with this guy well it's also like it sounds like a job that doesn't suck like you can wander around no one's telling you what to do it's not like you're stuck in a fucking desk going over stupid numbers or something you don't give a fuck about yeah and it's low maintenance physically I know guys in New York that I like movers for their day job and I'm like you can't have a fucking manual labor jaw like you got appetite carrying couches like you're not going to hit Open Mic at 8 p.m. you're gonna be exhausted

yeah but I loved it and having your cousin's the boss is great I streak through a Sears at the my last day he took your clothes off I yeah we decided Well I didn't want to I couldn't go naked because it's like a sex crime so I covered my face with a brown paper bag and bought like a candy thong necklace at I can't is on a necklace to Candy thong at Spencer's Gifts and I wore that I got videos like fun my buddy just sent it to me I hadn't seen it like 12 years it's a sex crime if you take your clothes off yeah if you run through naked yeah hilarious that's a sex crime so I was like I better have no clothes on which is how you are naturally born you are a walking sex crime I guess you can't have people running around naked in the store minute wait a minute but why not

what is the problem well we're living in the Tiny Joe okay if a woman walk through a store naked do you think she should go to jail I don't think she should I should think I would assume she has mental problem I think she sort of likes to be naked if a if a gal goes through a place like maybe you're a Target and some some gouge sides take off her clothes and walk as far as she can to Target before they arrest her are you in support of her being arrested and taken to a jail and hit with a sex crime no I'm not in support of that but I there's a lot of things that rules and laws that I'm not in support of that it seems like it's okay if a guy gets arrested doing that well it depends on what he's doing I suppose so I feel if a guy's running around naked if he's just running and jogging like it around inside Target yeah that guy's a criminal I don't see is harder knots good question it's very interesting he's a hardened criminals to yabbies hard he goes straight to jail well that's like I to the electric chair that's a particular sexual could but that's just cock

yeah it's electric condom what if he's got all his clothes on except for his cock and balls and he's just he's just riding out you know he's gotta just coming out of the not a rule in San Francisco like you can walk around naked you just can't have a hard-on is that true really that's what I just heard Bryan Callen say that welcome to Google that Google that we need to find out this true in New York I know in the park you can be naked I think naked real I can walk around topless cycle of seeing a couple of women women are allowed to go topless because men used to be able to go top well men could go topless forever but there was a rule that said that women couldn't and women are like well this is bullshit and they're right and I think a lot of them didn't even want to be topless right but there were like well this is fucked up people telling us that our nip like Sarah Silverman Sarah Silverman just posted on Instagram a photo of her mirror like her bathroom mirror and you see your tits in the mirror she did it on purpose to like make a point like why first of all she did it because she has great tits okay she wanted everybody see your grade tests are pretty fantastic I missed it I'm bummed but also like why is it

if you could see my tits why is it okay to see my nipples but you can't see her nipples like what do we babies I agree let's free the nipple I'm for it Instagram is really hardcore on that but Twitter you could do porn yeah they'll have porn on fucking Twitter this pornos I fall porn stars they do watch them fuck maybe there's some porn you think so yeah why not I got a dick you do have it there yeah right here yeah it's nice do you think that you should be arrested if you just walk around naked if I was making the rules I don't know it's hard because it's a it's all in what you do with it if you rub it on people yeah yes certainly that would be a grand day yeah and kids kids point you and laugh and you go huh that's the thing it depends on me in there should be a dolt areas where you can walk around naked I think it's a nude beach yes they have those have those yeah but arrested I don't know I would just assume someone is a little off mentally exhausting around naked

for our society Terry Norms with Susannah I don't think so that sounds like a guy Society Terry how's it going horse that wins the Kentucky Derby it says that they changed the public nudity law and San Francisco and like 2013 I think but we were there when you shot your special and a hundred percent I was at the top of Lombard Street and there was a large Gathering of naked people so I don't know what the fuck that was about nonsense so that was it they didn't get it start there's cops right there they didn't stop him from doing anything I pictures of it so I don't know what that was about wanting to do I got to wrap this up Joe last you're a funny motherfucker thanks for having preciate you comedies very funny I hope it's okay you're great and people can see your Netflix special it's available and Comedy Central they have it online too right yeah it's online the Netflix thing is the stand-up season 2 of the stand-ups to half-hour like a couple albums online and of Joel this would be with me tonight at The Improv it sold out to show

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