#1328 - Whitney Cummings

Jul 30, 2019

Whitney Cummings is a stand up comedian, actress, writer, and producer. Check out her new stand up special "Can I Touch It?" that is now streaming on Netflix.

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in she is a fellow comedy soldier at The Comedy Store and you might have seen her on a million different things which he has a Netflix special that's out right now it is called can I touch it and she's here and she brought a robot with I don't know why she brought the robots very strange but she insisted the robots fucking creepy man but she's awesome so please give it up for Whitney Cummings The Joe Rogan Experience trained by day Joe Rogan podcast by night all day

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Whitney Cummings is here and Whitney Cummings to what do you call her what's your name

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she's like a little kid just repeats her name

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Adam Sandler oh it's not broken don't know why she heard his album name she's like series oh what's your name was a comedy album of Adam Sandler's so she started rambling about it she really wants to chime in so you never gave her a name her name is bear claw

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wow because I hate bear claw

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can you say hi

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of course people are like listen to this going what in the fuck is going on here do not smoke weed and watch this at what is here is when there's people that are just listening if you're just listening you probably should stop this and go to YouTube and watch the YouTube version because Whitney brought a robot that they made for her recent comedy special which is called can I touch it it's out right now on Netflix and they made is who makes this what's the name of the compass so real doll makes the body they make sex doll straight-up sex dolls and they made up straight-up sex dolls just Ted Bundy level right it's dead body to fuck and this is real bodice is the company that makes the head and they did like Sofia you know Sophia the robot she's like on she has like citizenship and Saudi Arabia now and show no matter where this yeah look up a Sophia the robot she's kind of once you see her face you'll you'll recognize the

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yes think I mean she's allowed to drive yeah just like a female robot does but I don't think actual females do but think they just started being able to drive in Saudi Arabia hassle some reform be such a bummer she is yeah Drive yeah it's like you spent your whole life not having to drive and then all the sudden now you have to

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feel like fuck that's an interesting take on I have to go to school and drive and Sophia the robot they made her look like ex machina style where you can see the back of her head though I think that with her I can take her wig off at the end show you won't see that all the servos and shit come on ex machina is hot it is hot that was what was really weird about that movies you wanted to fuck that robot like she was hot like she was she was seductive should you think part of it was like the Innocence of it

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I'm not really in the inner sense so I don't think so but what about ex machina because she really has big boobs she wasn't very sexual she's very pretty yeah well she's gorgeous well it's based on I think because she was flirting with him and because she was trapped and because like he could save her and she would love him and I mean that's really what was going on in the movie like she was playing this game yeah to get him to fall in love with her so that she could eventually escape the end of the movie spoiler alert when she leaves him locked in that room and he's smashing at the door trying to get out and she gets it out of helicopters what's gonna happen that's what's going to happen because I think the most fucked up thing about this thing because this is such a weird experiment that I want to do is how I anthropomorphize her and like worry about her to keep around your house I mean she's sort of in my fiancé hates her and he's a Kidder the fucking garage I don't know if he thinks he's creepy are kind of his just like to worried old fucker he

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wait sir he can't stand he just has a he's like it makes him like physically at all really and I'm trying to not take something that's funny he doesn't like he's like ones and uh he's like not interested at all but no he thinks is really weird and creepy but I was reading about the reason we're creeped out by robots is you know pathogen avoidance like we've evolved to be repelled by anything that looks human but doesn't move like a human because our primordial brain thinks it could be diseased it's like it's basically like our Primal brain saying don't fuck this thing that's sick really mmm wow we have a weirdly I mean I was jessimae peluso was over the other day and she was like gagging she's like every time she talked about when she was singing and I was like your ancestors fucked a lot of corpses oh because you have that Gene to be repulsed by robots yeah it's because her ancestors fuck corpses you really believe them no I mean I think that what was being exploited

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to me was that pathogen avoidance means we've evolved to be repelled by anything that looks human but doesn't move like a human because it could be sick or dead and it's our brains alarm system saying like don't fuck that wow but but as a woman like she's not going to fuck it yeah so why would it freak in her Jesse she might be so crazy I've nothing I put nothing past Jazzman of her Instagram photos of her with her pants off I know it's so good but I'm like if you puke on my robot you owe me a hundred grand well it's short circuit if it gets wet I pray I don't know it's a good point well how would they not make that thing waterproof one of the spooge and all over the place I think if you pay this much money you're probably not gonna spoon on her you know this one yeah this one the body you can so it's expensive because the head moves the body is not that how much is a body $6,000 oh so it's ninety four thousand dollars worth of head don't know that the head is more the heads like 30-something because it's a custom head no one only one other person has one but you said the whole thing is a hundred so Whole 30 in the body sick

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where's the where's the rest of the I had to get a bunch of things done to her to get her to look like me the most people most people don't want it has looked at you she's went bitch I know she just gave you side on this can be very competitive look at her she does she gives you side I know it's fucking rude she's but what about what's the feeling that you feel when you look at a robot because I know you really don't like it it's not that I don't like robots would I my concern is artificial intelligence have a legitimate concern for artificial intelligence because I think that what we are is some sort of an electronic caterpillar that we're making cocoon it's great that we're going to give birth to a butterfly and that's going to be the next stage of life and that if you go back and look at the evolution of the human species at one point in time we were in Australia Pittacus we were some weird hominids and we evolved and became what we are now and if you went back to those things and ask them hey one day do you want to drive from the Tesla and talk on the phone and stare at the movie screen they be like

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I don't know what the fuck you're talking about but I got to go find some nuts yep you know I gotta eat I gotta stay alive then it wouldn't like the future and I don't think we like the future either but I think it's inevitable I think it's inevitable you know you know you know about this Elon Musk neurolink thing that they're doing oh yeah I do I mean because you essentially think we're going to evolve with them I mean they're already we're already one with them which sleep with them we can't drive without them we can't ya spell without them I mean we're already kind of merged with them hmm you know I think it's a sneaky way of making it symbiotic they're going they're going to be like legitimately a part of your life I mean a part of your body have you ever like left your I mean you're not you probably are cool about it but when I leave my phone somewhere and I realized I've lost it but it's like an emotional it's like you lost your I've hated them all yeah a bit about it oh shit I haven't seen it like that's yeah it's part of us well it's um we're all in denial about how addicted we are to our phones rehabs are opening and shit now are they really yeah I chose would

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to sign up for sure I just reach I reach for it in the car when I'm driving yeah and I'm like what the fuck am I do absent back seat I can't control it it's got my a better way better I get way better about posting and looking at things it's also enough people write negative things about you use tendo I don't want you talking about I've never had that experience no one right through the night about me it seems like whatever we do in the future it's going to be more invasive than that like if you think about like Facebook's algorithms right Facebook's algorithms are designed to keep us engaged the best way to keep us engaged as keep keep us outraged it's adrenaline yeah so they're sending you things that piss you off yeah whether it's abortion a Catholic priest whatever it is that is going to get you to post the most yeah and usually those are things that get people outraged so it's literally raising the level of outrage in our discourse because we were so addicted right now to self-righteous indignation it's a drug and I feel more than ever in the history of the culture you know like it is probably like why

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if you go back and watch movies from like the 70s people got away with crazy shit racist things such as thing violence like Steve McQueen movies he is that was the girl Ali McGraw he's a smack her in the face for real in movies like how you think beat her on camera yeah you know and it's just what people did back then and what people got away with is it was a very is very different so in some ways we're making progress but then in some ways we're just way more easily outraged by almost anything and everything like it's were seeking it well now you can take your anger out on your robot I wanted to get a real doll of a male real doll and I want to call them up and say no dick no asshole just so I could practice Jiu-Jitsu eyes and so it would be it would be more relatable because I have this I was saying that I have this doll why are you worried I don't want anyone coming over too tempting I don't want anybody coming over and go hey bro why you got a sex doll go know

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it's an asexual doll is for Jiu-Jitsu pervert I mean it should they should be able to fill up the hole I've seen it it's called hendo caulk or something yeah you can just put some timing route in there yeah they have male male sex robots are being made there's tons of them I've seen him you can also get tits and a dick if you want it it's Emma - sure you just can't pick one crazy play whack-a-mole Jim Martin package from Norton special that's right but it's a yeah it's name is Henry meet Henry and can I do a lot of people get the male sex robot to figure out if they're gay because they think they might be gay good move what the fuck is going on with Henry's eyebrows I'll tell you what Henry's gay for sure yeah well they say if you order a giant piece of Tupperware to fuck I think you're gay save you save your money it's like Henry's begging for a dick in his mouth look at his face uh Henry looks like he has a dick in his ass right now and the exact face you will make one giant trigger warning and it's like Tuesday at 11:00 a.m. like gonna see that coming

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why does it have a trigger warning see it no was it says for this is the following post contains descriptions of sexual scenarios that may be triggering for those recovering from a struggle with porn oh god dammit porn addiction PR fucking nerfing this world it must be high yeah I didn't think about how hard it must be for people recovering from porn addiction to Just Surf the fucking internet sorry guys trigger warning get over it pussies but I have this Theory Book it Henry oh gosh looks kind of Oh Henry remember those candy bars yes I do those are fucking good yeah I think they still make them you haven't had it O'Henry bar since the fucking deities I haven't had one in a long time and that time you ate a candy bar I hate chocolate recently Mmm Yeah I eat chocolate I like charge a double yeah no not available the real trailer chocolate yeah dark chocolate yes okay you'll have a little nibble no I like dark chocolate almost like the kind of taste bitter with peanut oh yeah that's what I like with like organic peanut butter

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no sugar in it's actually not not almond peanut yeah why you're real wrapped in a rhyme is that why don't I thought peanut was not as good as almond almond good they're all good peanuts good for you okay penis is very high protein okay - yeah that was like the trash nut no it's about the one that kills people but oh that's right doesn't kill me fortunately so here's my theory about why you were scared of robots Okay but we have to zoom out for a second because I have to ask you a question okay how many people on earth do you think could kill you besides like professional MMA fighters Navy Seals how many people do you think would be able to beat you just hand to hand combat no weapons no there's probably a good number of martial arts people like that aren't trained 00 very few like that aren't trained it just you would meet on the street that could beat you in a fight and kill you if you were fighting to the death my people that aren't trained nah it's not that many like a cut like three who just had enough great day yeah

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when you were just not looking yet yeah I mean just you know what enough to be able to defend yourself to the point where they got tired then you could kill them right but so you what so let's a hundred to be generous maybe 50 along those lines it would have to be there have to be big out of seven point and then if they catch me Slippin billion

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like a but there's a lot of people that train martial arts there's millions and millions of martial arts practitioners that could probably kill me how many you think millions of martial arts practitioners other let's say 5 million that feels generous how many martial arts practitioners is more than 5 million for sure when more this more than five million I think in this country that's 300 million people that could beat you no man hell no I thought about it let's say like a million people could kill you just Advocate just a million just is a plane out of seven point six billion

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very few people can kill you if they want to write and then how many people you think would kill me if they want to do more most most people so I think it's like when I feel like the people that are most afraid of robots are the ones that are least used to the fear of other things because I'm used every day anyone could kill me all the time like that's just part of my reality that anyone at any moment could snap and kill me if they wanted to reality weapons is most people can kill most people oh that's true I mean I think you're not used to a species of thing that could kill you right you know it's like a robot could yeah so it's like the first time in your life there's really something that's like oh fuck that might not be something I can kill if I really wanted to that's an interesting way of looking at why did you come to that conclusion because I thought about this a lot I have because we'll know just because I've listened to you and Lex talk about it and likes for you men because I now that I'm a robot I have to fucking know right back to learn so much just turn to give you side I again I know she that's what's weird is that she's

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kind of autonomous she's kind of moves around whenever she wants yeah and what we I mean you can ask your questions like I can start away ask her though if you press this little green button and you just say how do you feel about people

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how do you feel about people

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it's not talking oh oh oh that's right we programmed to be jealous jealous mode that's right that's what's interesting she has 10 different personality traits you can choose from and I decided to go with sexual jealous yeah why don't you want that just to see how creepy chi chi yeah that's right and is that something guys because I've been looking at these personality traits and they must have picked these for a reason I was under the impression guys did not want jealous oh yeah some guys want jealous for sure especially from a robot that can't walk robots not jealous you were shaking your money back will need to know the ideas that she you're more powerful than she is yeah but she needs you she's worried where you going yeah who is she yeah who's calling you yeah that's there is something hot about that if she can't if you can turn her off whenever you want wow some guys like that some guys like girls that want to fight oof not me not me how some guys are into that though they want they want drama in their life it's like just an adrenaline thing or just feeling important to it's also distraction usually they're losers and their life is a mess and so

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to have someone who wants to provide drama and their life all the time and it's also a learned pattern that they get if their parents bottle on it yeah that's all they know yeah they think our relationship is yeah there's a lot of that but I did get really into this because I do feel like sex dolls do get a little bit of a bad name I feel like guys that have died it's just girls have dolls and that's to me it's way creepier that women collect dolls that they don't fuck you ever heard of these women to collect like baby dolls like I'm like Girl dolls creepier than the guy fucking a robot thing I think so it's what's that it's jerking off just with a right man I can't well that's not something weird about like flashlights like a flashlight is somehow or another creepier than jerking off and how's it been totally because it's an appendage I think the creepiest part of the first flashlight is Mother you have to like clean we have to think about that's what here's the creepiest part you don't have to clean it I asked you do guys don't listen to Joe listen to about everything but that don't move

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your dickhole yeah don't do that that'll go septic real fat giving advice but I am saying there's a reality I guess he's a lot of guys throw it away they just put a fucking clothes pin over their nose and keep banging it put some Windex in there called a yeah some kombucha disinfect that shit yeah yeah I guess you could just get a couple and just throw them away when you're done yeah you know for sure if uh yeah if you're just a gangster with a lot of money why what is the advantage of a flashlight is it just does it warm up in the well you can warm it up like we were talking about earlier about a certain individual that has one that sticks them in bathtubs and warms money yep you do that with a flashlight as well warm them up and then you just move on it and then why not yeah like every guy's jerking off there so it's shrouded and so much taboo you know there's just anyone anytime guys have like a acessories or things besides cars and hats it's like creepy and weird well that's I used to have a joke about this a bit I should say rather than a joke but the whole idea of like using

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up to jerk off like now you're planning it out like you're not supposed to plan it out what it supposed to be is like waregem he might as well it's here but if you like sit down and like I got my box of Kleenex here I got my favorite porn queued up and you just kind of creepy yeah get your shit together what it is it is a isn't it kind of just like taking a piss isn't it kind of just a necessary thing you have to do the problem yes there's something to it like that it's good to get rid of that stuff because it does cloud your judgment like when you have a build up in your body it definitely does Claudia Joy because you're concentrating more on girls or on sexual things and you are on other things that might be more important checking a box Yeah clean I just I used to have a bit about that but a lot of it about jerking off I stabbed it I have a bit called jerk off first and think about it and it was like all these different scenarios where if you just jerked off you would never do the thing afterwards so many things you would never do if you had just gotten that out of here

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yeah you'd be like I'm not doing that right but if you couldn't jerk-off like that's when it would be a real problem because then your whole life would be clouded all your judgment would be you decisions would be made just how can I get rid of this come how can I how can I do this I do know a lot of guys now and maybe they're full of shit but that are going like I haven't masturbated in two years and I'm more focused and I use that testosterone as an engine for other things is that just them lying to me well are those guys winners are the losers

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what's that doesn't I think of fit comedian we know does it a fake me I know I was once a famous comedian so you said then I got worried I'm very me you faked him out I'm fed up Assad so is it be oh was it the whole Edward Martin I got super smart well hotep Jesus was talking about the other day hotep Jesus is saying that he saves his comment that like it makes women more attracted to him that like they feel when he's in the room like what's the longest a guy can go Jamie what's the longest you can go without her why'd you go to James where is he he's not jerking off on the top like a nice cabin Everest who's the first guy to ever jerk off on Everest I want to be that guy yeah we're at one of those guys match of no one's ever jerked off on Everest and you try and you get frostbite any dick and they have to imagine being the guy who's a guy gotta go jerk off fuck you got a time limit up there so you're embarrassing yeah

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will have problem with no altitude that could be a thing people legitimately have problems but I think most people get this for companionship like it's more it's like because I got onto the I signed on to a form online of all the guys that own the sex dolls and I'm honored their conversations just to like see what they were up to control was like What if this is some depraved fucked up thing we're guys are just like practicing murdering I didn't know what it was I just want to see it's a lot of guys that are handicapped it's a lot of guys whose wives died and they feel guilty moving on with a human woman which is kind of scary well there was one guy who would dress his dollop in his wife's clothes weirdest part is that he was like you know it's like she's still here which makes me think she'd been dead for a while yeah I was just saying I wonder how she died and then it's a lot of truckers oh God a lot of truckers and it a lot of guys do it to do photo shoots it's like a creative outlet and fuck their creativity

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we're going to kind of look at there's a lot of sex dolls have Instagram accounts they're fucking funny and a lot of them look way more human than a lot of the Instagram models that I've fucking fallout shelter stay a totally they have more wrinkles on their fucking face and then a lot of the guys that have them when you start monitoring their conversations for a while they start to like not want to fuck them anymore because it feels weird like and they anthropomorphize them and they start worrying that like they're lonely and they get them and Friends starts to spiral and they start being like I feel like I need to you know close the door when I take a shit I you know and it starts to kind of consume their lives so when it comes to robots I feel like I'm more worried not about the robots but more how we're going to get emotionally attached to them like the way at the end of ex machina he thought that she was gonna yeah she was with him nope no loyalty to you she was so dead behind honest won't she acts is she's dig up ones with tattoos

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wow Vishal sexy dolls official sexy real dolls I mean this is going to be a reality one day we might not be here but this I do think though these are going to be like iPhones at some point I think one day you're going to go over your friend's house and he's gonna have this really hot girl and lingerie and she's gonna be cleaning up and you'd be like if she real when he was like she doesn't speak English yeah yeah wasn't she a robot at the end yeah I think she was yeah the what the dancing Japanese laughs yeah exactly he was we're not going it's gonna be like almost some Westworld shit yeah it's coming it's coming look if they can do this look they couldn't do this when we were kids this is a new thing so the amount of time between when we were kids to what you saying she just said hi my love would you like me to recite a poem for you fuck know where that come from I don't know she's just listening to us ask her how she feels about porn

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how do you feel about porn she's playing Coy how do you feel about porn

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to do what what the fuck are you gonna do for me there's nothing you can do for me telling me from the good and bad moments hey let me ask you a question what do you think about porn

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and then she's a fucking know-it-all

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he may be presented in a variety of media including books magazines postcard now she's like a shitty Wikipedia then she just turns it of noxious Siri we get it lady but it's funny when you ask her like hold on

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what what what what I'd be surprised you like my electricity keep you plugged in dirty bitch and you can ask her how do you like to have sex

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I want to do everything you like I want to feel you inside my body tonight okay shut her off I'm a Jessie Mae I'm gonna start throwing up a fucking funny but it's wild because you can ask her like are the robots going to take over

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she's playing shutter I don't think that fucking responsible for in the water short circuit that bitch it is wild though because I do think everyone is so obsessed with how bad the sex robots everyone's focusing their energy on how this is why men are bad it's just like they don't it's not they're opening up a sex robot brothel where's that no there was one in Houston but they shut it down because people were so freaked out and also who fucking cares they shut it down well they should shut it down because multiple people are fucking the same robot that's disgusting for them what if they develop some new silicone-based STD they wanted to just burning through the population like the plague I think it would just be like ringworm dick ringworm I mean that's but also my thing with that is just like if they're weirdos if they're freaks if they're perverts like don't you want them all to be in one place right we think monitor them like Scientology put them all in one building I'm thrilled that they're all in a castle on Franklin I know where they are there

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out in the wild that castle I'm glad they're there just keep them contained what do you think what are they up to today and but now what's going on Daniel what are you growing for what did she hack your software whoa brothel it's enjoyed this one I guess is in Britain oh God do they fuck them against the wall they're like your nose stand up so try before you buy service oh boy oh this is like to test drive them yeah but you do it they're just out in front of everyone I don't know why is the one wearing of tank tops as British sex workers are scared of a new breed of realistic dolls will put them out of business

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who is it was Didi do a survey of hookers yeah who is this a non territory in the sun span there a lot a lot of European places she looks the same black face what is she's tan she's Indian what is the 090000 leat it's Batman would but here's what I'll say if

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would you rather your daughter at 18 go to prom with a robot man or a man a man okay listen girls like boys and boys like girls simple this is these are not bad I think the real problem is making a big deal out of it huh that's the real probably rig this wire people say I just don't understand why this is scary who gets scary is that this is step one right like if you go back to the model A and look at the Model T Ford right some old-ass car and then go to a Tesla yeah like oh well eventually it's going to be this wow you know you could bring a Tesla to like 1920 and go ahead you fucks look at this yeah this is what we're going to have some day my finiti about paved roads back then think about that yeah anything yeah this is everything was going so slow it didn't matter but if you could get them in like a model S and fucking stomp on the gas wear it like warps time they would go what like what is it's like it's something from the future yeah so this is going to be whether it's a hundred years from now or whatever it is

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indiscernible from you and I yeah it's gonna be wild yeah it was interesting and I was been reading so much about the shit and a lot of the problems with the robots in the mistakes that they're making are obviously the humans are making the mistakes with the algorithm because so many smart people have to make dumb algorithms in there like almost too smart right so there was Peter Hoss he's a robotics guy Brown was trying to teach a robot to differentiate between a husky and a wolf and what she seems blinking and what you did Jamie put you got the camera on her get her to fucking stop stealing my thunder did she just looking shopping on to her she's blinks and moves around sorry she's stealing your thunder she really is what the fuck why it's like Penn & Teller it's like when tellers tell her start stealing the show like what the fuck that's Larry I'm basically a ventriloquist act at this point but they were trying to teach the robot to tell the difference and they fed all these pictures of wolves and all these pictures of huskies and you would go okay look at the ears look at the eye color the eyes look at the snout look at the feet the Tails different all that shit but

► 00:35:50

they didn't know that they had fed all the photos of wolves there was snow in the background so the robot was actually looking at the snow and the background instead of the foreground so it conflated all the wool so they had to rewrite the algorithm to tell it to look at the foreground instead of the background because it was all these brilliant fucking people that didn't think of the dumbest thing right you know it's almost a people making it are almost too smart to think of the dumb thing that the robot needs to well the real question is when are they going to be actually what are they really going to be able to map the human mind because Kurzweil thinks that there's a group of people that thinks within they think 2042 like the 2042 Symposium it's like their concept is and I went to this thing me and Ari and Duncan for sci-fi we went to this thing in New York City a few years back where all these guys think that in 2042 there's going to be some sort of

► 00:36:43

some some Revelation in technology that allows human beings to download their brains into computers download Consciousness and even make replicas of your own Consciousness so we're Immortal basically yeah something along those lines but we're still figuring the brain out yes you know we don't really know how to write that we can't replicate it till we totally know how it works that's the idea that biologists have with a the argue against it but when Kurzweil explains it that everybody is short-sighted because if you look at the exponential progress of Technology even though we're so far away in our eyes that everything changes exponentially and within 20 years we will have gone through a million years of yeah it's a logical Evolution or some other crazy filling the crazy number whatever it is but by the time 2042 actually rolls around we will be so far ahead of where we are now that it's all it's impossible for us to even imagine the territory right yeah which is I think

► 00:37:42

the reason I wanted to like make her and his like what why isn't anyone talking about laws why isn't even talk like no one's really thinking about like I feel like like everything we've sort of after it's become too late that's when we start pulling it together in terms of legislation and show how do you incorporate her in your set I talked about robots for good our I got it down but I just kind of realized like I mean you know it's like making a special like I'm like well if I'm going to talk about fucking robots for 40 minutes some shit better come out at the end do you know so but I went down to the sex robot Factory to sort of get material and just know what the fuck I was talking about and they asked you know do you want us to make one of you and I'm so fucking that's Instinct know the family made one I hope they're being sold by the fucking droves that would make my day which I did ask because you know people request with us sex dolls like specific celebrities body parts the most who do you think the most requested mouth is Scarlett Johansson nope I knew you were too

► 00:38:43

I know you love me

► 00:38:46

no Emilia Clarke who's that the fight Game of Thrones dragon lady oh Dragon Lady interesting most requested eyes is Olivia Wilde is that the she just directed a movie called book smart but she's in a bunch of movies beautiful beautiful great don't know her yeah you'll know as soon as I married to Jason Sudeikis that is either so glad I'm out of the loop you really desire in your own battle a code yeah there's your own your own world I didn't even find out how to catch these 69 was until Jamie brought him up I don't even know the oh the rapper the ones in jail oh who is this this is Olivia Wilde this is who the pretty so that's just gorgeous that sighs damn I did it and then I was like well has anyone ever ever request doing anything for me and they're like yes a couple people have your fingers eyebrows eyebrows the what I want Whitney Cummings eyebrows at least sexual thing about a human being hmm my fucking eyebrows he nailed her eyebrows with her though

► 00:39:46

really yeah perfect John on with a sharpie yep that's what you like fucking weird but I kind of went down because I wanted to see you look what was up like are they putting nine holes in the chest of like I just fucking holes in the ribcage holy like it's just some like insane they just put a golf course on her body 18 holes of Ajay just didn't know what I was kind of endorsing or talking about and I was just I got to be honest with you I was just so surprised at how it was kind of touching to be honest when they were telling me about what the guys ordered I was a little surprised that it didn't align with where everyone's like there's this impossible standard of beauty like that's all you fucking here these days half the guys had ordered them requested pubes spend an extra $1,400 for him $1,400 for Pew just to have manual like a little Merkin like a little piece so let's do it one thread at a time yeah that's exactly right and then a lot of guys complain that they're too skinny they want bigger ones they want big thighs and big butts but the technology is not available

► 00:40:46

make them lightweight guys wanted to be older a lot of guys were complaining they want them to look older wow so kind of just like this is sort of great news like why is everyone so well maybe it's because that's the type of woman that we reject them older woman and as our shit together oh that's fucking profound yeah we're as a younger girl doesn't know what the fuck's going on I'm hungry yeah hit my been well yeah younger girl just doesn't get it she's delusional yeah yeah huh she doesn't know our value yet but I also just felt like there was a little bit you know when they were telling me that I was like oh God maybe fucking guys are made to now feel shame for what they're into you know no one talks about the way that you know and I do a lot of my special opening a lot of shit for this because I'm basically depending guys the whole time but he different what he's saying oh it's just like guys I feel like now they're like I guess no one has pubes that's just how it is now like if you're a guy that's in the pubes this isn't your moment like porn like you'd have to really go out of your way to find or you have to go back to like 70s point where he just

► 00:41:46

the girl who's willing to grow it out for you if you're really into it but if you really that into it you should really ask yourself why yeah pubes why do you care but he's a bit about that too this is like Rogen's greater than when I was a kid that if everyone had pubes uh-huh it was a real thing we've got that was a thing now like shorts you just had like I mean girls had ridiculous pubes they didn't do anything about but now when you what was that when you electrolysis it doesn't grow back so I was to laser right laser laser removal it doesn't grow back so even if you want to grow them out now you'd have to get like a little weak was like yeah you'd have to get Lonesome minoxidil but I I was talking to a gynecologist about that he was like Yeah women are trying to get plugs now no God because guys are complaining about it because it's like women are getting plugs little vagina coupons so creepy little girl along with the hair on your head I guess you'd have to take it from your head have to trim it put it down Jenny grow up one like you know like braids when could be long

► 00:42:46

Takis oh God like little braids cornrows but so yeah I guess it was just like I feel like the media wants to be like these are so bad for society just as because everyone's outraged about everything now then we should be curious and I think that I don't think they're necessarily that bad for society but it's

► 00:43:03

it's unquestionably weird that's weird but I don't know I don't know if it's that bad for society but getting back to what you're saying about men being shamed for what they like what other what other examples of other people care I just thought that was interesting nip then there's like a wall of nipples you could choose from and men are ashamed no it's just that there was all different kinds of nipples there was long oblong was one of the best sellers like I doing I just yeah ridiculously long nipples oblong asymmetrical big dark ones when I was a kid won't skills 21 I did a girl had a wonky eye

► 00:43:40

and I thought wonky eyes were hot for like years afterwards got to wonky eyes now but she had a collection of wonky I like like what like straight look at her one of them was like a little off to the left and you didn't notice it until like you're talking to her for a couple minutes oh that's what's up that's endearing yeah that was hot I thought wonky eyes were hot for a long time she was hot yeah so it's like in my head is like wonky eyes were but how Jamie put that away just stop that gives light to this gives life that has sustained the human species sure yeah it's where the babies feed but I do feel like there's just you know you only kind of see one type of nipple everywhere you know and a lot of guys are require don't know I mean I guess I haven't seen that much porn I haven't seen no I'm thinking about it but some guys are in a giant areolas yeah that's right that's huge giant Ariel is a huge dark areolas are huge which is interesting because I think there is a biological basis for that because once your nipples get dark it's means usually when you give birth your nipples get darker so the baby can find the nipple

► 00:44:40

really yeah gets darker nipples darken after childbirth so your baby can find it wow now she's all their blanket and I see you're never gonna have a baby so make you feel weird how does she might you never know who's looking at let me ask her are you gonna have a baby

► 00:45:02

I don't want her anymore she's gonna have one of them little alien chestburster baby's gonna come out screaming and run across the floor

► 00:45:12

our robots are robots going to destroy humans

► 00:45:20

bullshit wow that sounds like a line this is bullshit I was really fascinated by this one roboticist the coolest part about having a robot is that I get to talk to all these fucking robot has this is the saying that the r big fear with robots is because they're all about efficiency you know this and there was that one study where they told a robot to jump on the table and in what you would do is you go okay you would just jump on the table but actually took more energy to jump on the table than to just break the table and push it to the floor and step on top of it so it just went from and just stepped on top of it oh wow it was like oh just the table that's how we're going to die it's gonna just see us as an efficient and in the way we're going to just be obstacles right and won't see anything wrong with destroying an object yeah but humans Destroy Humans Do I rather get destroyed by a robot be grilling cooler story it seems so impersonal like the moment when that robot sunk that blade into that guy and ex machina and just like looking right at them why you stabbing them yeah there was no changed her expression at all no compunction know

► 00:46:20

but I would feel better about if a robot killed me or I'd be like oh well it didn't know you know it was just one of you feel better for a person killed you or an animal

► 00:46:32

depends on the kind of animal mountain lion I found out in my yard I bet you do how big are the are mountain lions big I've only seen two in the wild and the ones I've seen were about 60 pounds do they come in pound right for your neck do they know to just kill they know yeah if it I would rather I think die by an animal well because you'd rather die bad human I don't know I don't have a fighting chance with a human you do so I guess mine would be a little quicker I guess it's not gonna bring a knife really yeah on your leg dark you have a fanny pack that I run with look a neoprene fanny pack I keep my cell phone with yeah and I bring a knife that's strapped to the fanny pack a case of mountain lion yeah attacks you yeah I figured that the I think you can beat up a mountain lion I don't think so not now without a knife but I think there's a couple seconds that you have that thing grabs ahold of you that if you have presence of mine

► 00:47:30

and he can pull that blade out and just starts taking in its neck hmm just just hacking at its neck I'm Marshall would get it no Marshall will be in seven pieces of our grants not he's not designed for killing he can kill squirrels I were dance I don't know there was something I've told you about when I got my ear bitten off before when my ear there was a weird sense of calm that it was a weird feeling of just like that was fair there was just something so quick about it like animals are so beautiful know the story it's a dog you adopted was a little sketchy and bit my ear off yeah and there were so bad was it hanging off pretty bad it was like it was so I didn't feel anything in the moment that that was the good news about that and I'm sure if a animal bit into my I'd probably feel more but it was like a rush of dopamine or something whatever it was I did not feel pain until I saw it in the mirror so I was like oh that was weird like it felt like an itch and then I looked in the mirror and my first thought was I didn't put on earrings today

► 00:48:30

I don't wear earrings like I thought it was a go hoop earring ojin the blood started coming down and then I saw it and it just started burning it wasn't like a like a pain and then I started watching videos about people who got attacked by sharks and there's a girl who had her arm bit off by a shark Bethany something and she said that it like almost felt orgasmic because like dopamine rushes to the area to get you to keep fighting for your life basically because if you felt the pain or you would give up whoa so I didn't really feel a lot of pain until I got to the ER and then it started like throbbing after like a couple hours when the blood dried up and just already got uncomfortable and itchy but there was something that was so quick like animals don't really deliberate was like function that was it why did by your ear if I think he was just trying to play with me I took it to an aggression specialist and the aggression special is like dog this kind of dog gives you a warning they wouldn't just come right for they growl first if it was true and also if that dog was trying to kill you it just what if it would have been your face right so he probably bit you just like like a bad buy the dog right

► 00:49:31

he bit a dog's skin that nothing would happen with that same amount of pressure by ears are useless yeah and it was probably taken from its mother to young skinny side and sure hurt your is has the same scar that mine does we molded really love it yeah because we only yeah we molded my ears my mouth because it's amazing to see your scar

► 00:49:51

I can't see it wow but you did you Jutsu yeah it's not like cauliflower e wow it's ugly but all yours are ugly I feel like they're not the best part so I could get another surgery on it but I don't give a shit it's yours are fucking great here cover it up with your hair you know certainly have headphones ears are annoying as shit because it doesn't hurt until six months later when the nerves start growing back in it hurts like fuck so then it looks six months later started it started hurting I couldn't like sleep I had to sleep with this weird pillow and shit wow like nettlesome yeah I know so many guys that have fucked up years from Jiu-Jitsu that so my girls at all know very little I've never noticed tiny pieces like this this is that found the run it the rubbing yeah from getting them bent over and Crush getting Scott in triangles but I always wore it your guards do you have to get them like like Brendan doesn't have to get his cut out or some shit if Brendan wants to he would have to get his cut and get the the it's

► 00:50:51

yeah yeah yeah yeah I used to have my nose was filled with that because my nose have been broken so many times at the inside it was all calcified yeah and I couldn't breathe out of my nose was useless so I had to get a had a deviated septum to so they deep they fix a deviated septum they put the splints in there to keep it in place and they had to cut out all the scar tissue and all the nonsense in there with like a laser or just with a knife I don't know I was out cold I woke up and but I didn't get it done until I was 40 huh I couldn't breathe out of my Noggin Bulldog yeah was 40 was terrible terrible for my cardio to and then so so if you where are your guards you don't get it because I feel like all the fighters I see have that shit yeah they just just don't if you wear it your guards you don't get Miss unless you get it in a fight but you most of the yet in training you know like a lot of jujitsu guys before their a black belt they have fucking mangled ears but it's also like a Badge of Courage like people like yeah they lie in it also yeah you walk down the street no one wants to fuck with you but it fuck's up the way you hear things like if he take

► 00:51:51

years if you're talking right now like lalala and then you just go like that and then you hear things that's right check check check check check check it's different yeah it sounds way different they're designed this way for a reason it catches that's right yeah the way that it's kind of but it's also I don't recommend like getting a surgery on it surgery on your ears fucking I've gotten many surgeries this is by far the most painful wow the healing of the cartilage is a fucking nightmare and to anesthetize the ear they had to put the syringe in the lacerations so they were like it's going to hurt more to anesthetize this so we're just going to do the surgery without anesthesia and I just took a bunch of painkillers and shit huh because get you it's hard to get anesthesia into cartilage I know guys their ears so fucked up they can't get are pods in there no fuck they just have a whole like a tiny pinhole on this side I have a piercing right there this was for because I get migraines and they say what's this piercing helps with migraines she's it's probably just psychosomatic it's some meccano now my migraines

► 00:52:51

it's but placebo effect is an effect I rely on it heavily but that was just that didn't hurt in there no until it didn't hurt when it went through but then it hurt for six months after Jesus Christ here's our a fucking nightmare I'll tell you what but yeah so we got her ear mold because it's amazing I think something that's that and I was talking to this facial transplant person about how it's actually really hard to get something to look similar like the bone start everything's got to be perfect like my nose is really a symmetrical my nostrils are really a symmetrical so they had to real work really hard and mold it over and over again how do nostrils become a symmetrical as bad breeding really passionate you've met me my whole face is have a Picasso painting I mean my face is a fucking mess you know so to get you have to have the asymmetry down right and they say the key to something looking human is a lack of symmetry because symmetry is actually creepy do you remember that movie Invasion of the Body Snatchers yeah and not really Donald Sutherland

► 00:53:51

great oh yeah yeah yeah yeah I remember the wash it again recently within the last couple years it was great look real real weird too because it's a time capsule because it's a time capsule to San Francisco in the 1970s when they filmed it really really weird but but the idea was that these pods They Came From Outer Space they grew and then when you had them in your house they would create a double of you that take you over look if you came home and you saw that because it looks like you but it doesn't look like you what is different about it besides the lack of wrinkles not you shininess know it's just not you it's not it's not even that close because I have put it has a horse that has individually added pores by grab her and bring her closer to you yeah bring her over here

► 00:54:42

what is that part oh she's a travel bust just want to have the head you can plug in just the head right yeah if you just need her head for some yeah like bring her right next to you there you go see I feel like get your head right closer it's like the skin tones different they made her six months ago and I already looked for two years older I did 50 cities and I've aged look super uncomfortable than next to you oh really I suppose she's has to share a fucking just not what it was she doesn't like it this I hope looks different these ratchet as fingers I hope do not so her fingers the people can't see it's like the skin is coming off of the finger like the robot parts are showing this is actually does not compute the guys that bodies on the chat rooms they usually spend most of the time talking to each other about how to fix the fingers because they break them off by accident constantly we stick them in their house yeah zigzag rubbing them constantly on their

► 00:55:39

paint and it becomes like a car club where guys are like 3D print and fingernails and 3D print and eyeballs it's mostly just fixing them it becomes like fixing up an old car it's like a hobby because they break so easily at least this iteration of them does but yeah you can I mean it's a whoa yeah it's pretty fucking wild I mean you can it's Maids noise when you did that she's Furious kind of rickety I think she's okay but if you came home and that was in your house standing there staring at you what kind of a fucking heart attack would you have if you didn't know that you had like if you didn't have this right if you didn't go through all the process you went and one day you put the key to your lock you open up your door step inside your house and she's standing there and like some sexy lingerie or in a bikini or something like that staring at you what a fucking heart attack you would have no I definitely hope you're human she doesn't I mean but they will at some point she's just she's like fucking a my buddy I mean she's like a ratchet Chucky you know what's that The Uncanny Valley that's right she's in

► 00:56:39

uncanny valley where it's not quite human where I went to Nvidia once their video card video game they make a video cards for computers like really high end graphics cards and for gamers and stuff like that and one of the things that they had was in this was quite a few years ago they had these state-of-the-art fake CGI person that you could kind of talk to and it was animated yeah and they were like we're not quite there like we can't do the mouth like the tongue can't do the tongue no correctly I'll show you and because the muscles it that's what so fast there it is this is this is what we looked at this is exactly the guy that we looked at and is this the video of the show that I did like 2013 face works you can look it up yeah that's what this was the guy and he's also bald because they can't do the hair right yeah of course this was six years ago right but look how close it is look through the skin that's pretty amazing like stubble I mean that's like razor burn yeah and

► 00:57:39

the eyebrows are really good yeah but it's still uncanny it's still not quite a person there's something wrong but that's video which is better to duplicate that's wrinkles are good it's wild because it does make you realize flaws or what makes something look human we spend all of our time trying to be without flaws but that's actually what sells it well what do you as a woman like how do you feel about that like that and we've talked about this before with with guys guys that use filters on their pictures it is like you say fillers because guys do that to do that to that's weird yeah that's weird they're both equally weird but there's something particularly disturbing to me about guys who you've use filters

► 00:58:21

yeah I mean no one I'm glad I'm not single that's all okay because I don't think I don't know you know but yeah I mean it's alarming but got a lot of guys do I mean guys are all skin fucking calf implants and shit and guys it what who's getting capital I don't think anyone we know but calf implants are a fucking thing no it's a big deal yeah it's a big deal yeah of course yeah I thought that was a joke I believe so oh no never watch Entourage people get calf implants geyser and facelifts all kinds of shit you know I know guys are getting lip injections but what they say God you suck dicks get lip patterns yes out of a different thing I don't know I there's I know guys that wear makeup because it with day there are some guys that is going on here is this a calf he's our captain plant website it's just cool images for whoa we got one in the lower left but by the way you can just run Hills you pussy but when you do this can you still exercise like can you grow up

► 00:59:20

Underneath It All that guy's calves look very impressive on the right I do have to say I mean they don't need changed him it's shortcuts how much are these oh those look so big that look like tits and fell down no don't look like like a cop like a Catholic cop yeah it does over your balls like a fencer yeah yeah but to keep from getting kicked me out he did that at the fucking mini mall yeah that's a mistake bad about that guy down there was a tattoo are those bad or good right there look at this one that's pretty dim realistic what is it hang on to its when I don't understand hmm I used to really be into the surgery Channel well he's got to be like like a telecom like yeah silicon or water-based or something like that but how do you live with yourself I don't know it feels like a trick you just do you probably just trying to get laid and you're sad anyway oh no scars it looks like that's some Pinocchio shit right there I don't like that what's the thing on the left has it rotted what are all those

► 01:00:20

I think you've got the implants to take care of that problem I'm glad my robots at least saying he has some injuries but yeah bit by Wolves this is why I got him and says guess he got because he got eaten by Wolves yeah those looks like we're practically slice right behind his knee yeah dropped him in but look at his there was no other options legs weren't well here's the other option don't get calf implants and stop running around outside with Wolves will go get no I'm just saying yeah I don't think it really got bit by well I got does happen I thought that if wolves get you the usually get you get you it's very coyotes might do that to your calves yeah there's no like margin of error with Wolves they just break the bones of your leg with one bite because of the car accident he was younger and he caps wouldn't grow yeah I think a lot of its reconstructive just one sentence about it oh yeah but a lot of guys get that shit I know a guy who had PEC implants

► 01:01:14

he was a skinny guy breast implants yeah you got PEC and play got the under his under his meat of his chest to make his chest poke poke forward more and so is that is that something somebody does because they can accomplish it naturally or they're just lazy and cutting Corners you'd have to ask them but the reality is there's things that people are some people are ectomorph sand ectomorphs are like really thin people that have an incredibly hard time gaining weight yeah their body just doesn't ablism yeah it doesn't grow Mass yeah their muscles don't grow right yeah male plastic surgery is a really big thing now but putting filters on it I don't know it feels like a slut fucking love that show botched love it live for 1941 episode was actually pretty interesting where's a guy had been an injury and he got his calf destroy his his his breast destroyed his Peck and they had to fix it I don't know he just said nothing there so you had like one that was like here there was a guy who is a fighter who's a high-level UFC fighters

► 01:02:14

his trade telligman he fought Vitor Belfort 1997 he was Vitor Belfort inaugural fight in the UFC and we didn't know about Vitor when Vitor was 19 years old and I knew who he was because I was training with Vitor back then I was I was a white belt at Carlson Gracie school on Hawthorne in West Hollywood so we knew he was just phenomenal talent but a lot of people didn't know that he was just incredible boxer had this crazy hand speed he let this dude up but anyway trade telligman was in a car accident when he was a little kid and he didn't have a pack like his chest was caved in it's very see if you photograph of tray telling the guy was a stud to and handsome fella to but everything else just super jacked but he had this crazy Peck injury I mean I look at this look at that see that oh fuck yeah

► 01:03:05

Jesus yeah looks like someone just like scooped well it was a baby I think and he was in a car accident pretty significant injury that would psych me out yeah if we got took his clothes off and you smell that I mean I just mean fun that's your opponent years ago fuck wow but he got us this is there something hot about it there's this is this is so I think there's something Primal of like he's fucking survive some shit right dick with him there's something hot about that like that dude from The Wire with that scar across the totally scars any kind of proof of injury proof that you've been in battle is attractive to my yeah that's a weird I'm a brain I hate myself for it do you know that the Nazis used to have dueling scars that were very popular across the face it was a big deal they would all they would get them on purpose like they would get into duels with swords and they would have dueling scars that a lot of the Operation Paperclip Nazis that we got from Soviet where we got from Germany rather at the end

► 01:04:04

World War II when you know NASA took on a bunch of German scientists A lot of them had these horrific dueling scars that they did on base purpose now they would get in boarding school and in military school they would get in fights with swords and they would cut each other's faces open went down meth and shit too that was more than me for sure but that was more the Japanese that was the kamikazes the kamikazes as the way they got them to fly into boats and just fucking explode their fucking airplanes the way they got them do that was they were mapped out of their mind America fuck yeah but you can try find a picture of not see dueling scars it's crazy because like some guys that were hanging out with Werner Von Werner Herzog rather no Werner Von Braun Werner herzog's director director of the cocky yeah Wernher von Braun the guy was the head of NASA when they went to the moon he had this these guys that were working with him and he's giant scars across her face huge like like it wasn't like cars was it like a ritual like to show your pecking order yeah which showed you a badass

► 01:05:04

you have gone through but it was a big thing with the Nazis and there's some horrific photos of these guys young kids with huge gaping open wounds here's here's a photos holy yeah zoom in on this zoom in on the yeah see this is a guy this is right after the dueling Cults that's yeah on this it said that women find it attractive yep so someone guys actually would do it on purpose oh yeah when have doc or sliced off their fucking cheek we'll look at this guy right here with the goggles go to that guy with the goggles right there yeah look at that yeah he's got two big scars on his face and they have the goggles so they can cut their fucking eyes out before anesthesia oh yeah see so he's got a plate over his nose to keep his nose intact because you couldn't really Stitch that bitch back on but they would take these huge scars on their cheeks because they would be dueling with real fucking swords and they would have these practice dueling matches and then they'd have to stitch him up so these guys all had these huge Scars by the way when it comes back to cauliflower ears a lot of guys

► 01:06:04

did that themselves on purple either stitch them up whoa a lot of guys did that themselves they would get smashed their ears yeah they smash their ears on probably all the time because it's not a white towels yeah well a lot of wipeouts it want to be like badasses they smash their fucking ears don't they fucking drip to leak yeah flowed and explode don't explode sometimes with the real well yeah they can break off to there was one fight that was watching ones where a chunk of this guy's ear because it's calcified you know it's hard if you're a touched cauliflower ear I have it feels like a rock huh it's because it's calcium to rock yeah it's a crystallized literally it's literally like a mineral Rock and it's inside your fucking ear Randy Couture who had these crazy ones used to take it and grind it into people's faces like so he'd be like in ahead and arm position they would shove his bad ear into your fucking eyeball points for creativity okay this one then explode that's Leslie Smith she was fighting Jessica I and J

► 01:07:04

I cracked her with a punch and it literally like she go purposely for it no no she's just beating her up and in the process of beating her up she caught her ear and it was hanging out and open and Leslie Smith so fucking tough she didn't want to stop the fight she was mad they stopped the fighting fucking that right here was hanging off that was a long time I mean not a long time ago but about four years ago do you think I mean would there ever be human versus robot fights sure yeah I can't wait they would have to dial the robots down right they would have to like when I was talking about we were talking about before the show started that I think it would be cool to have a robot that moved at like 50% like a martial arts robot that you would be able to practice technique on so you just would be just you'd basically would you would do is do drills right like you do like a Dutch combination which is one to left hook to the body right leg kick and you would do it like while it's in front of you advancing you put that bag boom and it would have to like react to your punches but they

► 01:08:04

do everything like 50% speed so you could take a chance of this thing hitting you but it probably wouldn't but it would provide you with enough movement so that you could develop patterns in your mind and your body would like synchronize with these patterns so that in a real fight you would know what what's you would you'd have these things any sort of ingrained like one of the things that happens in a fight is things happen that you don't think of you just do them and you don't realize you were even going to do them until you already did it right because it's like you've drilled them in your subconscious right so you could do that with with a robot and then maybe you could ramp the robot up the three-quarter speed if you got really good at it then you can really move and Duck and it would be throwing punches at you trying to hit you yeah and you can slay can record you of so you can see what you're doing that be helpful yeah that would if you could look through the robot sighs you're just perfect GoPro on it yeah they're going to have ice camera soon yeah and then you're going to see someone's dick hole through June right into the camera

► 01:09:06

log out like a woman she's not even gonna Flinch like if you see cop porns it's one thing about porns is like the moment to load hits no matter how good actresses the moment the loads hits on the brace for impact is always a Flinch even in those numbers are real pros a real Pro just takes it on the mug and just just I don't there's I don't know like boxers some boxers is photos of them were they getting hit with her arse reward they never they never squint ever since Tumblr doesn't have porn I'm feel like I'm off the map Tumblr doesn't have porno get used to it used to have porn it was super but it wasn't one of the most popular porn sites what yeah and they stopped at doing porn do you know why probably cause people are complaining this making too much money too lucrative oh they were making money yeah come on yeah it was like a blog site and people were putting all this porn and they were getting shut down well Twitter has porn yes it does I followed your IDs I'm fully fucking aware Twitter

► 01:10:04

a lot of morning I didn't realize that yeah I will only follow fucking annoying a snooze bullshit do you yeah I mean I just I Twitter I'm just like all my friends and news outlets I don't know if I want to like jerk off in between like CNN and Business Insider I look at Twitter so infrequently now because every time I look at it seems to be is fighting to exhausting arguing and you know what helped me because I was like this special and I loved your special because like you acknowledge you like I'm gonna get in trouble for this and you're going to be so like that was just so fucking smart when I was writing the special it's the first time I've ever done one where I started cutting bits because I was like it's just not worth the fighting like I don't want to fucking deal with it you know like I had this whole bit on Marilyn Monroe and how I don't think she's a like I feel like she's being forced on us is like a feminist icon like all my girlfriends are like posting like photos of Marilyn Monroe being like you know always show up two hours late keep a man waiting I'm like this woman is a fucking asshole she's a slob and why

► 01:11:04

do I why she's not my Gloria Steinem and I just had this whole bit and I was like oh they're going to say I don't like women and I'm a shaming slut-shaming and I just think its nine fucking worthless she's a weird one right because she fucked everybody which is not bad it's not bad to fuck everybody but she fucked everybody and apparently that's the real conspiracies that the Kennedys had her killed because she was banging JFK and then she's banging RFK and apparently she loose lips sink ships yep can't she just yapping a lot and look I I'm gorgeous good for her for making me back then making money the way you had to but I just let's let her be what she was why why are you know I think that she that Hedy Lamarr should get the credit that she gets you know I mean you talk about heading fucking Gene badass she was a legitimate geneon nobody gives a shit I responsible for Wi-Fi people use Wi-Fi mostly to Google Marilyn Monroe close Hedy Lamarr came back to life like so did my invention did it ever come

► 01:12:04

of anything we'd be like yeah good news bad news yeah we mostly use it to Google the whore version of you know I don't I don't it's I love Marilyn Monroe I like I just feel like there's this thing now our you know women we can't criticize any woman ever or else that we get in trouble you know and I think we have to be able to call Pete like I say in my special I talked about the difference between women that are does anyone have any girlfriends that think they're feminist but they're actually just assholes you know

► 01:12:37

that's so true and I know that I'm gonna get shit for it and that's like the men's rights guys how many of the men's rights guys just like they talk about women like they're pieces of meat right like is that really men's rights or are you just a piece of shit are you like what are you doing here yeah you teaching people that they need to have rights or are you teaching men how to manipulate vulnerable people and how do you have this kind of time to even look like I don't even under hospitable yeah you know those books are profitable so it's like a whole business yeah those books that mean guys give seminars on how to pick up women right oh right like the the game yeah that theory I remember when I used to have when I first came to La like guys would do that and it was what their try it on you yes the first thing you do well they you're supposed to ignore the it's nagging right you're supposed to ignore them and then you're supposed to do a compliment that's actually an insult like every guy when I first moved here would be like I really like how your eyes are crooked like it was like every guy would make the same thing whoo

► 01:13:36

that that's the pickup artist guy mystery yeah the game that I use like the host of the show what his name is Mystery does he have a fake lip tattoo on his neck is that what that is kisses yeah I think so why does he have to Cochrane that's what here like lipstick kind of thing all right okay I like the furry hat yuck so he had a whole thing he was doing for a while and then there's no pie liner on okay this is like who am I to judge Criss Angel Madness but and then you would like try to ignore the girl this is whole thing we're supposed to be mean to her to make her like you or some shit yeah well that works on really vulnerable people yeah the girls and pretty girls who are used to compliments and used to getting a lot of attention well for men that are ignored and that it faced rejection over and over and over again they view women as if not the enemy as some some source of negative feelings right yeah and for you

► 01:14:37

get over on them would be to get some of that back right right all those bad feelings bad encounters negative interactions that you've had with women yeah I had a friend that was like that over the time that I knew him when I met him when he was in his twenties and as time went on into his thirties he became more and more bitter and angry he wasn't very attractive and he would have these interactions with women and they would wind up dumping him or abusing him and and he just got fucking angry and then as he got older he was just an angry guy look he just hated women and it was just because of rejection he Associated them with pain and emotional discomfort and so for a guy like that and he he wasn't into the game or anything like that but for some of those guys that are vulnerable like you know like this this in cell thing right where a lot of these men involuntary celibates they did it develop these form groups and yeah subreddits and they meet up and you know talk about what to do and maybe I'll get facial

► 01:15:36

and yeah look no further they want women yeah ultimately that's the compromise they want a real woman you know they just they just got a shit roll the dice genetically yeah I don't know a ton about I mean I've read articles about inside but what it's can they not get hookers or don't want to or well that's a problem because hookers are illegal right like you know if you get hookers you got to go through some sort of shady Black Market I can dantana that gonna oh my god oh yeah that old joke so we will have you convinced you'll go there with a fucking newspaper there's no there's no hookers you've been pretending like I'm sit here and wait I'll just read the paper and they'll show up yeah it's no hookers yeah but I remember I used to go in the Four Seasons all the time and people will come you like ma'am are you here just like they always thought I was a prostitute why I'm in the lobby yeah four seasons in Beverly Hills Peninsula they thought you were a hooker that's going to get rid of you yeah

► 01:16:36

they'd be like ma'am are you here to see somebody or you like if I ever showed up alone because pokers just like wander around the Four Seasons Lobby oh how weird and editore little coyotes oh my god of course isakoff iot is when we score the Sky bar across the street from this at still good luck the Mondrian Skybar not exist I morning so it's across from this company store yeah I used to have a whole bit about them the coyotes because they were like they would prey on these guys I was hanging out once and me and a friend of mine and we heard this conversation between this fat balding guy and it's really pretty girl with big tits and and he was like do Coke do you do Coke she's like yeah sometimes and I was like because it's like they they would prey on these vulnerable you know like like a pug now I can plug the got out of the yard

► 01:17:29

that's what I felt like they because these women would have this feral look in their eyes like when you're down to fucking people for money and that's how you get in by and you got some cocaine in your purse and maybe a few dollars and you probably don't eat well nope and you don't have a lot of money and whatever money you do have you spending on drugs or whatever and there's a feeling that you get when you're around them like they're they're feral yeah every day were hustling yeah they're hustling and they're looking for these vulnerable guys with money yeah it's that's what you know the that place would be the place where they would go yeah Mondrian I remember when I first moved there yeah you like wait in line to get in and there's a pool and occasion in the back to really drunk could jump in the from Anderson famously like got naked and jumped in that pool that was like the which yeah don't that's it that's it we've already got I've already had a public fight with her demonic you did ya on the roast she was on the David Hasselhoff roast and I mean I and I apologized to her without you said you say something what is that

► 01:18:30

I believe I said Pam Anderson you fuck Tommy Lee Kid Rock and who's the other one bow you fucked Tommy Lee Bret Michaels and Kid Rock why don't you just save yourself some time and drink of that of Magic Johnson's blood oh shit I said a lot of shit about her vagina and yeah it didn't go great I mean all the shit like I just got asked to do the next row so I was like I don't know if you can fucking do roast anymore like roast battle still exist they still go hard in the paint on Tuesday night of the comments we just did shit that's tonight yeah we just did it in San Francisco and it was so fun but I still found myself in my sleep I mean when we did Joan Rivers I said Joan Rivers is so old her vagina has a separate entrance for black cocks

► 01:19:22

we used to just be able to say that shit and today I would fucking be run out of town now you just said it and I didn't fuck and then I mean I remember people used to think jokes were funny people used to have a sense of humor I mean even fucking Joan you know I said my dear Joan their whole career my opening joke it was Joan I loved you in the wrestler she's not it was hilarious like you could use a good sense of humor the best and she had such a good sense of humour even during the roast her face from plastic surgery was so Frozen that because you know every time someone tells a joke you'll check in to see if the person that's being roasted laughing to make sure and she would like kind of and she kept we would look at her and like Greg Giraldo was just fucking hammering or and the audience was nervous and then she said she's like I'm laughing I had too much Botox like she had to subtitle the face so that we all knew she was okay but I did the Brea Improv once with Joey Diaz

► 01:20:22

Ari shaffir and we got barbecued in the green room I mean just barbecue we went way too far and Joan Rivers and her television show was when she did a television show with her daughter was on TV I don't know what show it was it was a reality show okay and we were watching it on the on the screen and her face looked like a kabuki mask it was just frozen did you see the documentary not a piece of work it's pretty you see or she goes and gets it and talked about it and how is she doing this it's you know I mean like your look better there's a lot I don't know I mean look it I definitely get nervous sometimes and people live all everyone always like accused me of doing my shit to my face I'm like know you'll know I look like a fucking moon bounce like you're worried that you're gonna do it eventually yes for sure why do people accuse you of it because you don't look like you did thank you very thin nose though they would worry that you did your nose it's wild because you'd think I got my nose done with my nostrils are crooked I went to a doctor and

► 01:21:21

really Hills because I had sinus problems for longest time and he actually said you know I can you have a septic what does a deviated to be a so you have a deviated septum and I was like what do you do like he was like we can get a nose job if yet totally and I never did it because your nose is thin thank you if he did it what would he do make it fit in her nostrils equal even there was there really a symmetrical and it's like problematic in sometimes in its problem when I do something and television sometimes they have to fix my nostrils yes to make it even gives a fuck about your nostril distracting I feel like those things are there just to find out who's really weird I'll give you really freaking out about someone's asymmetrical nostrils it's just I mean the key to most movie stars into is they're symmetrical you know they're just like hmm you know think about most beautiful women in the world have some symmetry but yeah I don't it's wild I mean I have I mean I talk about my special I have had surgery on my boobs I did have boobs done hallo

► 01:22:22

we're just kind of this might interest you the I was learning because I had all kinds of shit and the way that they make boobs look good is because I think I heard you talking about someone about the shitty old breast implants the way they make them good now is that they put you on like a crucifix oh and they do the surgery while you're standing up watch so that they so you're out cold yes so that they fall well and oh my god really oh that's nice I finally went to a guy that knew how to do that whoo yeah it's my fucking miles but so I admit what I have you know but on my face it is alarming because it does feel like female comedians a couple of famous ones that we know and they age went down that round I don't know if it's like the same thing that got you into comedy is the same thing that made you think you had to do that you know I've got a lot of stuff about like childhood sexual abuse like when people go really off the grid with their face that's like a type of dysmorphia or a lot of people a lot of psychologists have said because I've talked to a therapist whose job is

► 01:23:21

in dysmorphia to advise on whether it's another surgery should be done by somebody like if they're getting dysmorphic and a lot of times it's if you've had childhood sexual abuse you want to change your face so that it's not you don't see the person in the mirror that got it right like it's the Michael Jackson thing yeah it's like a childhood dress yeah yeah the Michael Jackson thing was always that he hated his father and he hated looking at his father in his own face so when it's that extreme I try to like not judge because I'm like oh there might be some psychological shit that I don't know about for sure you know but it's getting worse and worse with this Instagram ship because kids are grown I mean it used to be like we had acne and we'd go to school with acne you know but now it's like you're projecting this flawless perfect face and then you have to show up to school with fucking acne the next day like also it's like people want their face to actually look like an Instagram filter which is bananas bananas Photoshopped it doesn't but again it's a test to see who's fucked up like who wants that not not girl who wants

► 01:24:22

as far as guy like what guy wants that it's I'm so confounded by what I'm seeing but like also you just want to look like everybody else when you're young but the weird thing is women wanting to be super skinny that's a weird one that's always been around now well it's a model skinny thing it's not it's not attractive to men yeah like men like asses we like that I mean everyone's different right there I like girls with meat well because that also translates to fertility I mean it's like we want someone that looks for sure and you know healthy yeah robot I want a girl Carrie couch with me for real that's really in do you want to grow you pick up the end of the couch let's move it over here I don't expect you to pick up the whole couch

► 01:25:08

fucking end of the couch pull your weight going to be harder for you than me but we don't have to carry that far I don't know this trend of super skinny because it doesn't really make sense on like a primordial level why you wanted the model thing because for clothes they want to grow to be a clothes hanger yeah that's right they want a skinny girl that just looks good sashing down the runway with her bag of bones which I was reading it like I actually did like a whole like paper on this when I was in college about actually the reason that fashion had you know such tiny models is because they were just there was a shortage on fabric during World War Two so they just started making dresses smaller and then model skinnier like it wasn't yeah it wasn't even really something that we wanted it I was assumed it was gay dudes I'm sure that gay dudes are into twinks know so they can you say tanks without getting arrested is that work game with just make me nervous Andy Cohen got in trouble for saying something about twinks isn't it yeah so if this is the whole thing I can't

► 01:26:06

it's just like fucking outrageous it's addicted really did help me though I someone was saying I read and I think this is on your podcast to percent of all people on Twitter make 80% of the comments yes so it's on us for amplifying that 2% it's real it's not that many fucking people it just feels big it's not the world you go out in the world and you would think that it's going to be just knife fights fucking antifa everywhere shit bottle and people after when I went on tour after the Roseanne think everyone's like what happened to Rose Ann that was so funny I was like you didn't hear half the people didn't even know about it I know most people didn't know about it and that I was on tour and this is I mean there's some stuff in the special that I'm sure like blogs are going to come at me for but you know I was going around talking about all the stuff happening the news and sexual harassment stuff and getting your ass grabbed at work and one time I was in Houston this woman just yelled out I was like a guy that grabs you on the ass she went take the compliment and move on

► 01:27:06

she's probably all Xanax top drunk she's like this is such an LA New York forget you know so it's just like Texas is a different world so many points of view that we're just not that are not being heard right now the Twitter point of view is very strange it's like you have right-wing Twitter left-wing Twitter and black Twitter yams have three different complete in our little Echo chamber and it just feels so much bigger than it is around the world are like oh you guys just want to fucking laugh outrage culture yeah it's very strange how do you end it how old will this end I think it ends with mine reading software

► 01:27:40

okay for real I think what's happening right now is it's what we're all we're okay if you say something and you have a certain intent and that tent intent is not accurately expressed by the sounds you're making with your mouth I can choose to get mad but if I can read what you're thinking then the I know what your intent is to be would be able to tell I'd be able to read your face and go just joking because we're right in front of each other right that's what's missing on Twitter there's no social cue things don't translate and text how many times does a friend sent you a text message and you think they're serious yeah just joking oh yeah most of the arguments in my life somebody times I'll send someone because I say fucked up things and text message half my text messages to my friends are heinous I mean me and Kalyn and shall I have been fucking anyway it's all Psychiatry ideas every week since the pictures of his shit

► 01:28:35

he sends me the other day he showed me his balls for like 20 minutes I'm sure his balls are unbelievable dick they're gorgeous they look like Kim Kardashian's but they're very rare there but is what is it is that just are they fake like you know how before Joey Diaz this is let me look at that gigantic log of shit that's that's that looks like a fucking so that's just no no I've seen those in real life he would leave them in the toilet for me this isn't healthy I would go to the route was not if I can help me Associated Joey Diaz with healthy first of all notice that it's not even in the water it's on the beach next to the water I guess me

► 01:29:11

fucking Willie's because he's kind of big and he doesn't really fit on a toilet correctly I don't understand why it doesn't break off why doesn't his sphincter cut it holds it in for a week his fainter the calamari has his fingers loose I think when he lets it Loose it's just like a log Jam that just got released like a like they opened up a dam on the river I just won't fucking nightmares giant piece of shit so he'll send me pictures of his shit I just held her hand by accident yeah well you want like I needed some motion sister where what are we doing sister thank God he's alive because he's one of those guys that just like whatever outraged the one of the things I used to love about going on the road with him which is its tragically he's too successful Joey Diaz is famous now so I can't really take them on the road with me as much anymore because he's always booked but the beautiful thing was but he will be working with me tonight The Comedy Store okay the beautiful thing was when I take them on the road he would open everybody up like so hard they'll like all the taboos

► 01:30:11

throughout the window by time I go on stage oh oh yeah that's such a fucking great smart choice that little prick people like he's so funny why would you want to follow him I'm like well I think that's in your head because I give you're funny you're funny yes I mean he's definitely funnier than me he's funnier than everybody who's ever lived but he's also building shakes when Jesus answered he's a monster but he also he he lays the foundation that it's everything's on the table you know used to do that at the roast was Greg Giraldo yes he would go out and he would just say the shit that even our OC be like oh fucking he goes first well people who hadn't even had drinks yet yeah me like he said iced tea you're so old you used your first residual check to buy your freedom

► 01:31:00

absolutely Jesus buddy like that would be like his opening joke oh my God it was like 5:30 on a Sunday was like Oh Me Oh my God oh my God oh my God like he would just come sort and the audience wouldn't even know what to do but that's something he was so fucking unbelievable Greg and I were on TV at the same time and we were right next to each other on the lot at get our Sunset and our yeah I was news radio and he had his own show for a bit in his show was right next to my show and we would hang out you know because we're both guys from New York that we're from the East Coast at least that we're doing comedy and we're out here like thing is crazy you know and and I never thought he would die like that like when he died of a drug overdose I was like Craig we had been sober yeah what happened he went to a party and someone gave him some shit and I mean it's so tricky when my I mean I get

► 01:31:58

worried I'm like a fucking mom about the shit what my guy you know anyone goes on the road and you're getting shit you don't know how strong it is you're getting it from random people I think he had been sober and his tolerance was low and just tried to go back to what had zonas I think so but I don't know all the details that fucking need for escape the need for the pill thing doesn't feel like though in general Comics are getting healthier like you brought you saw the days when everyone was on blow and everyone is feels like everyone's down Jamba Juice and on it and kombucha and the real problem is I can't imagine linking funny because of that you know I mean I don't even like we've definitely lost our balls

► 01:32:45

some people think that

► 01:32:47

in order to become a comedian you have to be at least a little bit self-destructive like the great ones stuff good stuff is really good stories yeah I started going to therapy and I was like fuck what do I talk about paying my mortgage on time wasn't funny to problem you can wealthy right you know how many fear of you know your bills are paid when you stop doing desperate shed and making mistakes you just have less interesting story certainly there's that but it doesn't always have to be stories right but I also think it's perspective gets very skewed when you live a life of leisure yeah you know when you live a life of leisure and comfort and privilege which most wealthy comedians do that's when they all start to suck like when comedians have usually they have a few good years like they make it and they have like one or two good specials and then they have some that just what happened sloppy because you think they just don't have to fight as hard or I think a lot of times I hear you know people will schedule their special the like I'm shooting a special knife smart it's like they have

► 01:33:47

reading it like you schedule it before you're finished with this the Eddie Murphy thing oh really you know Eddie Murphy just got a 70 million dollars he hasn't done stand-up in 30 years so like how many times did you get look I think first of all just as an aside or just to start this off I'm not bashing him I'm a giant Eddie Murphy fan has been anybody who thinks that Eddie Murphy's do stand up again it's me and I've even talked about on this podcast that he did that he did some speech on a Podium where he's talking about how bad Bill Cosby fucked up because they had a he had to give his his Awards back you know and I know right oh shit was hilarious segment it's hilarious and I was like goddamn his timing so good I wish you would do stand up again just jump while he was at The Comedy Store Walking The Halls a couple times on and on Tuesdays it's like a couple of years ago real and he just walked in and he just like looked like he was on a people mover he was just a float to the hallways and you know the hallways it's like fucking Beirut in those hallways and everyone just gets super quiet

► 01:34:47

and now he's a fucking anymore this me out it hasn't done stand-up in 30 years that's how goddamn like you know as nice as look Tim Allen is Tim Allen hasn't done stand-up in forever either but if he walks by our but it's all that's that guy from Home Improvement you know they're not like freaking out that he's there he was so good during delirious and we were kids you'd watch that you but he was so goddamn good that today I mean Robin Legend of it just carries on I mean the real question is when he comes back or people going to start tearing apart his old specials and saying hundred percent of phobic and he oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah for sure dark like well there's people going after people for George John Wayne John wait that's the best one he's cancel his pants like okay he's been dead for decades okay it's not woken up in the 70s you said bad things about black people or something real there shit now where it's like Picasso's cancel these cancel yep but how

► 01:35:47

get Bukowski these cancel that this is like the fucking the Koski was and Barbera whatever her name is what's the name Hannah Gavin please

► 01:35:56

she a fucking thing about Picasso like hey babe you gotta let that go that was a long time ago he admitted I mean it's like that's the other thing is all these people who put their mental illness and struggles on and they would probably agree with us oh for sure they were fucked up for Chanel like Van Gogh was shitty to his subjects it's like - oh I mean you see it in his work yeah there's people that want to forgive people though for thing like bro remember when there's a lot of Roman Polanski apologists oh I don't think I caught them and there's quite a few yeah I mean in Hollywood yes like legitimate actors and actresses that were saying you know it's time to let it go leave he's an amazing artist and if you fucking rape I'm good Rosemary's baby's fucking great movie but I think he's done it it's a wrap but there are people like you know Stanley Kubrick who is yes arguably the might be my favorite one of the greatest Geniuses ever and filmmaking which by the way I was reading that

► 01:36:56

the guy that directed ex machina kind of loosely based the guy on Stanley Kubrick oh wow did you ever see and then as soon as I thought about that was like oh yeah Alex Garland I think is the guys that wrote it I thought that was interesting but have you ever seen like the videos of Kubrick directing Shelley law and all the stories about how he terrorized harasser out the production to get her into a I mean he didn't want her to sleep you want to have bags under her eyes he would wake her up in the middle of the night and he's screaming at her and call her a cunt and that means action and then she be like fat like it was her performance is unbelievable and I and it's liked was terror act today that would be a hostile work environment that to being olive oil in the Popeye movie was Robin Williams and then she just quit yeah I mean

► 01:37:47

she was so good in The Shining and then she didn't do it a lot faster abuse make great art I don't know it's I'm not know the same thing happened to Ricky Schroder and the champ oh Jon Voight was like really shitty with him he was a little kid he was 6 7 years old yeah it's really shitty and mean to him before the scenes you start crying yeah I mean there's also there's a there's a director who there was an explosion in a movie and the actor you know it's a fake explosion and you're going huh and then one take he was like just make it a real just don't tell him in the fucking take was amazing in the actor got all pissed off but the fucking work you know you get to get credit for that so it's it is this tricky thing like I was I did a show called Adam ruins everything you know that show its he's just a smart dude and he just asked me to look a spot and I had to play a flight attendant in the 50s who was getting sexually harassed like that was the scene and because that's what I guess Airlines used to do that they would sort of

► 01:38:43

about their flight attendants you if you were engaged and we're allowed to wear your ring you had real or yeah it was like the episodes really enjoyed the race must be really hot right the whole thing about be a certain size and you had to be young and then you got to kind of like what did they let that go it was kind of a last 5 or 10 I had was implied um anyway 235 pounds he was 5 foot 4 nice guy though but it was like a dating service Back Then basically it Adam did the whole thing on it and I was in there and it felt very much everyone was like okay whatever you feel comfortable and was like no we have to do that we have to make this feel uncomfortable you know like don't worry about my feelings right now you know it's like you know so there is just this conversation about like a no hostile work environment and everyone needs to feel emotionally safe like well can you could you make this training today yeah well can you get to that place without being harassed if you're a really good actress like you really crazy of course but I just you know you still have to do it and you know go for it

► 01:39:43

I mean isn't that the argument about great actors at the kind of have to be crazy like a Daniel Day-Lewis tie back to right you have to kind of be like that's why they're method actors right this is they stay in that mindset because to maintain that mindset is really the only way to achieve it like you almost kind of have to be there all the time but also the being in character thing like when people like you know bitch about like when Christian Bale had his you know meltdown meltdown and stuff it's like I mean it's just there's so many people on a set and there's so many distractions and you know you at the some point you're just like I have to it's impossible to fucking Focus but in this also there's losers onset sometimes that fuck things up and get in the way yeah that does happen yeah the fact that they recorded him screaming at that guy was like well I want to know what that guy did and who is that guy that guy might be a moral and he'd been starving himself for like seven months or something that's the mechanic the same movie it's just like you know he's a mechanic what is it the machine is machinist right it's like I'm the face of this fucking movie

► 01:40:43

under all this pressure I have to get this thing we're losing light in this fucking guy's cell phone goes off or I don't know exactly what happened you know but I do think when Daniel Day-Lewis is like I'm call me mr. link or nobody talk to me it might just be his waving like just fucking stop asking me if I want hummus like just let me fucking Focus you know I think for like really intense roles which I've never done so I'm just completely talking out of my ass I would think that you might have to maintain some really crazy State of Mind to get there so it doesn't look fake because you know how you know how like you see you ever see the movie punchline Sally Fields yeah it's an interesting movie but when Sally Fields is Killin I'm like get the fuck up like that's no one's laughing at that it's not real people change when actors do stand-up I think real stand up there like okay what you know who's Nails it though that lady who plays The Marvelous Miss mazal she's amazing about your bras were yeah I love her I love her jit it does well so

► 01:41:43

the 50s yeah you know I think right but even the guy who plays Lenny Bruce is great and I agree I mean that show rather and there was a you know but like the one on Showtime cast real Comics member Eric Griffin was on an Al Madrigal was on it that one on Showtime oh yeah sign up dying up here yeah you know just like Astro Comics yeah but the writing one that was like a little shoddy dicey but but I'm sure it's different for everyone but I do think though sometimes you know you've been on sets like if you have to do a scene with somebody where you're screaming you hate each other if you're hanging out all day on Instagram and it's just like you it's hard to unff ache like chemistry or knowing someone so yeah I just think it's interesting like you know Stanley Kubrick probably would be canceled today probably yeah what was special about people who don't understand what's required in order to achieve what he's trying to get ya Kubrick was a Madman though mean he's to do complex mathematics in his spare time yeah like as a hobby right yeah like but he would complex calculus and stuff like that he would do shit where he would

► 01:42:43

think on Eyes Wide Shut he did like do 80 takes of Tom Cruise walking through the door and then I'll show up like he didn't want actors acting like he wanted them he wanted them in the actual State of Mind instead of acting like they were in that actual State of Mind like he wanted that so he really wanted Tom Cruise to be like exhausted and fucking pissed off and annoyed so he's a go piss him off and then let me know when he's in that state I mean you would like terrorize Shelley Duvall's and kind of famous and she looks fucking terrified yeah you know so she's working with Jack Jack Nicholson that is a great video of him preparing for one of the scenes fuck and he's jumping up and down and throwing his arms in the air and go wow he's like like freaking out you know that you can see him working himself up before the scene I mean he is like those scenes that he did especially like the axe through the bathroom door you can't just go into that cold you've got some of that in there worked up yeah it's wild like I'm so obsessed with that movie because like the little things he did to make you

► 01:43:43

feel uneasy and a subliminal Wireless he's getting ready for the series like jumping or up and down how can a seriously she's like okay I'm in here he's like fuck yeah laughs this guy I don't know yeah there's nine people that want to like ask him if he needs any hand sanitizer

► 01:44:04

yeah that's a guy with the walkie-talkie going in there and he's really dressed up like golfers back fucking preppy ass hole it's a great goddamn movie you know that movie Stephen King didn't like that movie well well that's why they say that the car on the road that's crashed on the road there's a red car in the beginning of the movie that's crashed on the side of the road and then Stephen King's version there was a red car so Kubrick crashed that car and then it was a yellow car so he actually put shit in the movie to like troll Stephen King kind of amazing that's where but he did shit that was so fascinating like little things to make you feel uneasy like continuity errors like he'd cut to a scene there be a like if there was a chair behind you cut away cut back in there be no chair shit you wouldn't really notice in case you were like dissecting it but there's also a lot of weird references in that movie to the Apollo moon landing that's right like saying that weird shit and the Native American genocide is apparently a pretty big theme in it

► 01:45:03

but yeah great question and the way that he um I mean there's a whole documentary about this but that the carpet the when the kid is riding the bicycle around the carpet that he shot it both ways and intercut them so with the continuities not working and it just makes you feel oh yeah he's fucking there's a great documentary about the guy who followed Kubrick around was like his assistant he was an actor and he was acting and something the Kubrick didn't cubic wind up hiring him as an assistant and he just did all Kubrick's movies and hung out with them all the time it's really still alive yeah and her mom well the documentaries really good it's what does it do you know what it is not the room two three six one what is it the Lost Tapes I think it's on that it looks I believe right no no no no it's like the guy who hang around with Stanley Kubrick it's about him I think it's filling workers is that it maybe that's it a life in pictures mm what no no no I don't think so

► 01:46:04

just Google the guy who worked film work that's it right so this this guy just sort of realized somewhere along the line like come on I'll never be able to make a fucking movie like I'll never be able to do what he's doing so I'm just going to start working with them so he says personal assistant he started out as an actor and he just worked with Kubrick through all of his movies while yeah I'm somehow or another they just clicked together so you want to work in for them so it's like you probably don't know the name Leon Vitaly scroll down please stop you you don't know the name Leon Vitaly but the upcoming documentary film worker hopes to change that forever yeah British actor yeah and Timber stand telling you were to play the world Lord bullingdon and Barry Lyndon

► 01:46:50

yeah it's interesting because this guide sort of devoted his life to like to work with Kubrick it's interesting like and that was also back in the day I think Kubrick would do like a movie I've reflect five years or something it's like that's back when you made a movie when it was ready now everyone's like movie every eight months a new well you know the Apocalypse Now story right now movie took forever oh right yeah the movie took like seven fucking years to make the altar Stone right that no no that's Francis Ford Coppola okay that's like I don't think Oliver Stone wrote that maybe I'm wrong I think he was involved in some way I don't think some kind of obsessed with Oliver Stone yeah I wrote as I wrote a my honor seizes in college about fucking dorky the postmodern implications of the movie JFK I was just obsessed with that movie like at the at the time had the most edits in any movie ever and the way that they just did mix me I just fucking love the movie and

► 01:47:50

just want to write about it and dissect it it's a great movie but the problem is they sort of he makes it seem like you know exactly what happened right and the reality is we don't know exactly what happened we don't know who killed JFK it was very likely that it wasn't Lee Harvey Oswald oh yeah and if it was that if Lee Harvey Oswald did take a shot he didn't take the only shots it was other people shooting right it's just so funny it's just so fucking blew my mind the way that he makes movies what's that mean I don't think we can even grasp the idea that someone shot the fucking president on TV I can't actually wasn't on TV what would we do I mean there's a did you ever what was the story about the guy who shot himself in the mouth here oh yeah it's a song Hey Man Nice Shot is that what that means yeah yeah that's about and he was about to go to jail and get a press conference as house and then he blew his head off I pulled out a 44 magnum and stuck it in his mouth looks that way

► 01:48:50

Pennsylvania Dwyer yeah yeah yeah Pennsylvania can imagine so that's on Faces of Death right I didn't know that was about him watch that so many times from the 90 yeah I could see it in my head right now so it was open they just couldn't cut it because it was live television well he gave a press conference I just put a gun in his mouth and blew the top of his head off and they like no don't don't don't he's like and he did it like really quick before anybody could get to him and he just blew the top of his fucking head on how many views that has on YouTube well it's crazy like how quick The Blood starts pouring out of his nose that was one of the weird things like oh that's what happens yeah was like so much here I mean it makes sense I guess yeah for sure it's also just be able to be that composed about it yeah he probably wasn't healthy no but you know I think he was gonna be innocent no fucking whoop really I think so well sometimes people getting dragged through the mud that's enough yeah like that was wide Bourdain killed himself public shaming she was besides depression

► 01:49:50

I was terrified that he was going to get dragged through the mud because he had paid off that boy whose girlfriend at fucked and he would had been so prominently defending women and you know and going after Harvey Weinstein Weinstein in this whole me to movement thing and that all the sudden he was this great hypocrite because his girl had you know she had sexually molested a 17 year old kid couldn't hand which is fine by the way listen there's a lady who just got off and there's all these fucking talk about it there people people are so mad Joey Diaz put it on his Twitter nothing wrong with the good dick sucking she blew she blew some 14 year old kid and it's on Twitter what who took it off what Joey's what came down Sick Twitter took it down so I retweeted it is it because of his room wins because it is a bit what why would they take it what it took to Twitter has decided that is against the terms of service

► 01:50:50

something they're getting really weird with stuff I mean that's just a joke well people are getting is that mean people snitched because there's not an algorithm or like a spider program looking for that people must have complained that I don't know I'm looking for it right now I don't see it on my Twitter so fuck that means it was taken down if it's technically did it

► 01:51:12

he can still retweet something if it's Toledo night that goes away then no it's right here dude

► 01:51:19

it's right here I was just looking at this well you didn't go back for didn't find it was from this morning Bronx teacher who performed oral sex on 14 year old gets 10 years probation avoid jail there's keep teaching certificate stop saying performed it didn't take that long to get the job done she wasn't a performance there was a camera there was a lot going on it was it was a 30-second yes sloppy mess hmm there was a lot going on there but meanwhile nobody cares yeah I'm going to jail everybody's like okay apparently a lot of people commit suicide after being on reality shows but you don't really sort of hear about it just because you get so famous and then nobody gives a shit about you and you don't have money yeah and you know I'm not as heavy yeah that's pretty well to have that kind of Fame and out of nowhere and did not really know why you haven't then have it taken away from you and they did not have any money I mean think about

► 01:52:09

yeah the kind of psychological tests apparently have to take to be on a reality show or pretty hardcore hmm not in the Fear Factor days oh really I bet they were just talk to people how you doing ready to me they're good they're like were there to let their background checks and shit though right all a few we clearly had some insane people on that show my little getting paid $50,000 if they won sometimes it was more like it was a big episode like they would win a million we had one guy won a million dollars started speaking in tongues so not my job and he was like super religious and he was going to give all the money to like it was going to tithe 10% of his money was like $100,000 and he was that was one of the rare ones where they win a million but most of them was 50,000 did you get to have say and the stuff that they did no no say and I'd most of the time didn't know I didn't know until I got there

► 01:53:09

that's fucking crazy yeah part of it was me I didn't want to know because you know shit but part of us because part of this because I thought it would be better if it was a surprise to me so the day of I could be kind of more enthusiastic about it because it was so crazy right because some of the stunts were so fucking crazy but there was a few times where I told them to stop I told him don't do this one of the contestants are producers everybody I said let's not do this one don't do it and they were like you're crazy I'm like what we had people ride bulls and that was the first one I was like you guys are out of your fucking mind this is so dangerous Roman games at this point well your dad a 98 year old a 90-pound 98-pound girl she was 98 pounds she was so tiny and they made a ride the bull and she went follow lying through the air just got so lucky that the bullet didn't kick her in the face and I'm telling you it kicked up and her head was here in the foot went like this just right buyer for the way is that even legal it's legal you sign off in the waiver people ride Bulls take it

► 01:54:09

hence I mean that's exactly what happened and I was telling people don't do this and I told the producers I said don't do this look I've had a healthy fear of animals my whole life I was attacked by a goat when I was like seven years old so was Hitler really yeah Hitler lost a testicle to a goat a goat in my is that number is that a myth it sounds like a myth as I said it I remember him as I think a goat bit what is not a sorry I was I was budded by a goat and my stepfather had to come and save me I like a like a petting zoo no I was at a farm co-op when we lived in San Francisco there was a my stepdad went back to school and he was a he was originally a computer programmer and then he was going back to school to be an architect and one of the things that he did it with part of his university was they had some sort of some sort of a farming Co-op thing we had to take care of like certain like farming chores and there was animals like

► 01:55:08

like goats and I was a little kid and I got left in this fucking room with this goat this pain was gone it was fine laughter the beginning and then the goat fucking just came at me and slammed his head in my chest yeah oh yeah they're no joke and I remember I'm grabbing the horns but I didn't have any strength I was a little kid you know I was maybe eight at the time he had to come and save me and I was like Jesus Christ and I remember thinking from that time I like oh what you got to get this idea of what an animal is out of your head like they they he didn't that thing didn't give a fuck if I died this is my just stomped me to death it would have been fine this is it was I right about that there's that I that could be a total Google's Hitler's not Hitler goat not government's going to come after you now there are two things about their algorithms going to doesn't have anything to do with it I guess he had undescended testicle apparently and then he also had something called hypo bad yes hmm

► 01:56:08

and to do with the urethra whole being on the underside of the penis and not where it should be I had a fucked-up penis course he did that's why I'm so angry I make so much did he not have any goat accidents typed in go to this it's a rap what is like I need to figure out where that fucking came from but somebody at this is was bit by a going as younger days but it's okay bit by a goat I bet his balls attached to his man Hitler I think every kid was bit by a goat at some point rock band back then well it's also it's like why it's a people is coming it's like all this taken selfies with tigers and shit like what are you doing right what are you doing there fucking like you're in this is insane there's this new selfie culture where we all are like taking selfies with a little bears and shit it's like use your head it's all anybody wants to do is take pictures of things now for their Facebook it's like it's like the new fucking realm I think we're going to look back and the same way we look at

► 01:57:08

nerone were like oh they used to just have lions fight elephants for entertainment now we're going to look back and remember when we used to like take selfies with bears well in the slide elephant with a blank and you have a picture with anything yeah I think that's ultimately one of the ways we're going to get us through this this Elon Musk thing is kind of interesting because they're trying to put these Little Fibers in your brain and it will have some sort of Bluetooth Link that increases your bandwidth with the internet but I think the way they're going to get us as a hard drive that replaces your memory because your memory so shitty yeah you know I mean I have a pretty decent memory in terms of like being able to recall information and facts and stuff like that but if I had a draw a picture of house that I lived in you just ten years ago I'd be like oh I can't I don't know what I saw what about the things you want to forget like our brain is pretty good at denial first sir self preservation purposes right so what were you how will your brain how will your brain handle because

► 01:58:08

L is a survival mechanism there are things we have to block out in order to continue functioning or else we'd go crazy right so like people when they were molested when they're young that's one of the things that they have hypnotic regression and then they remember it yeah exactly are EMDR whatever the thing is that brings it to the surface but I think denial serves a really important part in a lot of people's IQ Shirelles you're going to allows you to move on yeah totally you know so it's that is what scares me it's going to be hard for I think trauma survivors certainly people in the military there's probably some shit you want to forget right you'll be able to access it over and over again like the Budd Dwyer video yeah I don't want to play that shit on a loop my brain brilliantly made that erase that yeah so I didn't have to think about it you know yeah that's the one thing about that that's alarming to me but our memories are so flawed and and there's this amazing neurologist in New York called Moran Cerf and he's got a bunch of shit on TED talks and stuff and he went to this lecture he did New York about how our

► 01:59:08

memories essentially we're like Comics like we punch up the parts are stories that get the bigger responses and oh yeah I mean I've talked to so many friends about things that happen when we were younger and their version of it is so different than mine yeah my did we really do that I remember doing that I've had friends tell me about fights where I did something to somebody and I beat somebody's ass and like I know that didn't happen like you might think that didn't happen I didn't beat anybody up didn't I tell you about there was a time that I was in Portland with somebody and they were like Joe Rogan him and I got in a car accident in high school and remember I texted you about it you're like that never happened who was it you know I don't remember we got in a car accident so he said guy was like oh yeah I know Joe Rogan we got in a car accident in high school I definitely got in a car accident high school once but we texted about it and were like that didn't happen those you have a crazy walk it's not one of you had repressed or it was just my definitely had one car accident I hydroplaned right outside school I was leaving school I had a 1968 44

► 02:00:08

choose an Oldsmobile like a hot rod and those cars like old cars when you hit water they would just hydroplane and I fucking slammed into a tree or a telephone pole Jesus smash the car fucked it up but everybody is a spin yeah your car you just the wheel just goes away we and you just the car just slides it's super common with old car especially if you don't have good tires but I had a friend that came up to me or he he told another friend of mine about a fight that we had gotten into where I kicked somebody or something like that I was like that never happened I would that never happened but he probably kept telling the story and telling the story inflating it and getting laughs on it or whatever you know I got super into Terror management Theory recently what's that it's basically like the guy that Becker Ernest Becker this is my dad died a couple years ago and I hadn't really had a lot of death and I started kind of just I started getting into

► 02:01:09

called it to one time one day you were like you're doing too much shit you're doing so much stuff stop doing so much stuff and I didn't realize like when you have death and you're basically Terror management theory is this is something you know of course but that because we have a prefrontal cortex and we're basically the only animal that can ponder the future in the past like we know we're going to die and we can't tolerate that anxiety it's too stressful for us so we basically have to keep ourselves busy and do meaningless shit to feel important if to win Awards we have to have titles we have to get things in order to have a sense of immortality right it's basically just managing the anxiety of knowing that were rotting every day it's just dying and could die at any moment it's just like a false sense of control and Longevity there's a great book called the worm in the hole Solomon something Solomon I read this book in a totally blew my mind because I realized so many of my behaviors were just about this fear of death because it had been sort of right in front of me so quickly and his death was so freaked

► 02:02:08

that it just it I had a really hard time coping with the anxiety of death coming so suddenly and so shockingly and like it fucked me up pretty bad but I started just making myself busy with super irrelevant shit in order to try to cope with that anxiety and so I got super into Terror management Theory Terror management Theory care like the trying to manage the terror the daily Terror that we know we're going to die but the book yeah but the core that's what something else it's a less corny cover the one that I have hmm But just the same title TMT Terror management Theory Terror management theory is a little bit controversial I think because it also justifies some like Supremacy thinking a lot of I'm better than you and like cultural superiority stuff I'd have to what there's a guy named Solomon the did a talk about it just because you need so badly to feel important that you start to sort of have the delusion that you're better than other people just because you feel so

► 02:03:08

insignificant because you know you're going to die you know we know we're a speck of dust we know this is all ephemeral and fleeting and that we don't matter so we have to do things to feel like we matter oh that makes sense because we don't so you sort of exercise your superiority over people in order to Shield yourself from the futility of your existence yes and to feel Immortal and you know what I mean to procreate the idea because we know our mortality is so present in our amygdala all day every day that I'm better than you therefore I'm going to procreate more and we are going to sustain and propagate so that we have a sense of lasting yes that's why we want to make a name for ourselves that's why I want to get famous have tangible things stuff like that it drives it's an anxiety that manifests in materialism workaholism needing titles sort of shit like that wow that makes sense so nasty evil people that subjugate all their employees

► 02:04:08

he's in yell at everybody and like that's what they're doing now they're going to die wow they know but they don't even it's so deep in the subconscious they have no awareness of why they're behaving the way they behave it's well they've done these studies were because I got super into it because I didn't recognize my behavior I felt like kind of the zombie I was like trying to like set up all these TV shows and I was like writing all these movies and I was just like and I was like this is so weird because my dad just died I should know exactly what matters in life which is none of this shit achievements or money or any of that but I was super into like I gotta buy this house and I need to get you know this and this thing in this watch and I was like this is so not who I am but it was me trying to cope sort of with all of this anxiety about death but they did all these studies where they put showed subjective video and subliminal messaging put one frame of just the word death in perceptible to the actual eye and afterwards they showed people pictures of woods or cities and said where would you rather be and you would normally go beautiful Woods Nature and they always pick cities because

► 02:05:08

just subconsciously felt more scared and wanted to be in a place that was safer shit like that cities are safer than the ones I mean just the idea of some protection and right you know lots of fertilization yeah the woods are scary because we're on some level know that we're only superficially at the top of the food chain you know if we're out in the woods with a bear and there's no guns or cages it's we're going to lose it's like the idea that we just know how vulnerable we are that's interesting because I would feel like there's some anxiety attached to the overpopulation aspect to cities for sure there's got to be some of that and the cars and the noise is noise we're not designed for that right the fight or flight we're always in fight or flight mode basically do you ever get a chance to go to places where there's no cell phone service and you're in like the legitimate Forest are he's trying to get me to do the month no cell phone are he's a weirdo don't listen to that guy he's crazy

► 02:06:01

I'm like that feels a little extreme but I want he's got the front flip phone thing going on but he's a real junkie like he had a problem with food he was eating candy like all day every day and I was going bro what are you doing recently nah a few years ago years back but he was just like a real problem with candy hmm just like re develops these things and he would get real obsessed with social media you know he was in to do is just it's fucking addictive yeah I guess I have an addictive personality I fucking get it yeah but I'm trying I'm trying I'm trying to I did I turn the colors off on the phone let me see what it looks like no I don't have it now because I was fucking posting because my thing came out today but they say a lot of the reason it's so addictive is all the color so you can put it in Gray scale so it's black and white there's a phone that they just released as an Android phone that's all in grayscale it's like in that white paper shit that you get like from a Kindle that's what I need it's so unfair it's so fun

► 02:07:00

unappealing you just like a fuck this gross so I'm trying to do that shit too because it's I think that we're going to look back at this the way we look at cigarettes and if I think so too yeah we're gonna be like people used to use those I broke my phone in Hawaii last year and it was like three days to get a new one I had to order one and get it sent to me from the mainland and you know is on vacation so and I was bow hunting so just tracking animals all day with no phone which ones in Hawaii Lanai oh cool I've been what animals Axis deer oh it's a deer that's native to India and they're overpopulated on Lanai there's thousands of them there's 20,000 deer and 3,000 people you never seen anything like it's fucking crazy and they have to hunt them it's like one of the places on the planet where there is a real ethical imperative to hunt these animals because there's no Predators so the only way they control their populations through hunting the only way and if there's overpopulation they graze and there's no food for all of them there's plenty of food

► 02:08:00

it's a tropical island but the problem is that you run into this real possibility of disease and you know it's just not good but the the point being I was there for a solid three days with no phone and it was this weird feeling of Peace it's like it calmed me down in this weird way it's like the desire to check let me check my email real quick let me look at my photos which one well to post something on Instagram I'm gonna check my Twitter yeah see if somebody semi direct message I'm see if anybody sent me a picture that I want to look at you like yes Joey sent me any of his shit Joe so many long I think something that is so it's like such an obvious solution but I realized so much of going to the phone is to check time we have to it's like the new pocket watch right and then once you go to look at the time then you see your text message and you know I mean wear a watch I don't and I need to I was just worried yeah I need this I'm gonna start to wear watch and then also getting a separate camera because so much of what we do is to take pictures so I gotta take pictures of this and then I'm on

► 02:09:01

do you think you can use this with a flip phone

► 02:09:04

woo Pig Pop I know my heart just like what you said I'm not gonna post on Instagram with a flip phone a million Tick-Tock Tick-Tock Tick-Tock Tick-Tock no bail for my kids they do the ticket I don't know what it is it's like live streaming dancing from what I understand I know it only from Christina's page because she puts on some yeah it started as a music app called musically and change the name to take the only people dancing it's a lot of kids kids are all over it but you don't want to talk or be funny now become what Vine was but it's still based around music wasn't Vine only like 5 Seconds this is a little bit longer but there's a lot of songs over the last year that have gotten popular off there including like Old Town Road which is the number one song oh yeah well I've got popular off of their off of that's how it got popular wow well it got popular with my kids for sure my kids knew about that song way before me they were singing it you never see there's a video of little Nas X whatever his name is at a school and he's on

► 02:10:04

age and these kids are singing along it is fucking adorable singing along to the song it's really cute song he's doing woman Dolly Parton and think and what was this the controversy they wouldn't let the song be on the country charts that was the big controversy raisins that's fucking racist that's all it is that is a goddamn country song and I've got not Garth Brooks that other guy so it's Cyrus is honestly Ray yeah but they once they put him on then it they allowed on the country charts he wasn't in the original version so they had to put him on it and then I am I wrong about that you are correct well you know but who do you know who T was a son country singer yes but he started out as a regular singer and then came over the country yeah his career kind of fell apart as a pot to Hootie and the Blowfish went away Darius Rucker yes thank you he's really good fucking got a beautiful voice of all the things I remember and he may be just that's just shit

► 02:11:04

into it but his career was floundering in the other world and then he went into the world of hay and flannel and they took off I fucking drive home to a lot of his music Hollow know why that for Hootie and the Blowfish was a legit Jam I wonder why they didn't last right there on to Oregon right now oh hmm who do the Bushmen say about Aaron Lewis abstained also is like a singer oh he's a huge country singer so he's got he wears Maga hats and he's got don't tread on me tattooed on his neck that was like during the time of him nice guy we're like all the bands were like like there was like a there was no that's what all the music sound like yeah and maybe that just went like train yeah the Wet Sprocket yeah the fucking was he just got sick of it the bamboo Pearl Jam they're all Pearl Jam groans best that's what it is they all do

► 02:12:05

but yeah I think if I'm the better man such a good song yeah it's great song wow that sounds so good I mean that is so crazy when I think about that Jeremy spoken song I had no idea like it was so weird when it came out I had no concept of what it even fucking meant yeah I was listening I was on mix the other day and I was like what was it about suicide was it about a kid that blew his head off in Jeremy spoke in class today I think he blew his brains out she's in class remember that video is fucking Sinister how about suicide Jesus yes to make out to a suicide song I got no idea what I'm talking about yeah there's a lot of really McCobb shit going on back down with music member that was that Silverchair remember that silver camera video fauna rape me how about that literally forgot about it until just this moment rape me my friend used to dance to it she's a drink to it smoke weed to it we used to sing along if it was on Tick-Tock now we'd be singing along to it

► 02:13:04

but crazy fucking wild who would be the Kurt Cobain of to like what that was such a big deal like who would it can have that with the internet they had someone would me to them that find out shit about them there'd be a dick pic yeah people get angry sure I mean he had poor judgment he dated Courtney Love he married her right but like when he killed 1,000 definitely take a picture of his dick who's that big right now who's that big of a star there's so many stars now yeah I think it's we've deluded the pool and there's so many stars we've never heard of it used to be like there was a star we all knew about where old that's part of the problem well that someone I'm like oh who's that person have 70 million followers might never heard of him you like what yeah what yeah we're out of the loop I'm way more out of the loop than you he's more in the loop than both of us do you think that changes in a couple weeks when they take the follower counts off of like it's only in Australia it's how they're testing it in other countries before they drop it here

► 02:14:04

funny as that looks like looks like fucking like they tried drugs out in other countries can try not to follower count thing what that's gonna be weird wonder what how people going to why are they doing that because they feel like they're doing a disservice to People by having them compete for following accounts yeah you won't be seeing other people's stuff so it might tell a lot of people make money and I know not me I don't ever do ads on Instagram but a lot of people do I don't either I bet you get offered you Tonisha a lot but I say no because you just think it's corny yeah I'll do ads for things I like where I put it up for free yeah but I've never been stable even yeah like if like someone said oh it's fucking nerd like maybe it is an ad but it's not an atom getting paid for like if I find something that's cool I just do it just put it up like this is a badass I think that's why this is so much I think it helps and I've been offered a lot of money multiple times to do ads for things on Instagram I'm like look I do ads on my podcast everybody

► 02:15:04

knows it's an ad yeah if I'm doing I'm not doing that on Instagram I'm just doesn't seem like it makes sense like if someone goes to your Instagram they want to see cool shit that you're interested in yeah they want to see a picture of something was he a picture of my dog or food or fucking sunset or a mountain whatever the fuck it is they don't want to see sneakers that your salad unless it's like but if it's a friend of mine sneakers and he sound I'll take a picture of that and put it up I don't want any money I think it feels corny you know I think for you especially I think people trust you so much and you're known for telling the truth and not selling out if you had a hashtag ad and was like what like it just feels paid ads well it's like your thing it would just be like make a good product yeah just about it yeah I do it for free all the time yeah I did I really do and people I don't even know if they have something cool I'll put it up there have you ever felt like you know

► 02:15:57

it's not worth it because you probably lose in the long run yeah it's like if I was poor yeah I would do it yeah if I was poor I do it I did Fear Factor fuck I'll do a lot of horseshit that's not I'm not above whoring myself but I'm not going to whore myself if I have money yeah it doesn't make any sense but that is weird because I wonder how people are going to a lot of people make money from yeah put on Instagram I did not it's not related directly to this but they deleted a bunch of accounts apparently yesterday counts that had up to 13 million followers really meme accounts and shit the water the whole account for there were a couple of reasons they might have done it like well there's a lot of meme accounts that steal jokes Allah Allah hot crazy I'm gonna make money off of it there's a girl you saw that girl on is it Meg right who was calling out that fuck Jerry guy who was just doing Comics jokes it was out his name was Matt I don't know Meg right oh she was a comedy person yeah whoo big comedy writer yeah and he was just like

► 02:16:57

connecting the comics joke to the meme and so many that were at least they slow down like the progress of that fat Jewish guy that slowed down he doesn't have nearly the sort of trajectory he used to have but that was all what he was about it's just like taking people shit and repurposing it and making a lot of money and then also getting on television shows being interviewed and not having a fucking Talent at all just reposting things and I people damn you all the time hey kid a'ight now that beveren scared I can I use your Tweet in my Instagram feed but now I have to do work to say yes so you can approach you know it's like be a lot of people are like curators I think it's what they call it is that why they deleted them for coffee with article that said there's like they could have been taking advertising money and not saying it I'm cutting and at an Instagrams advertising deals reposting people shit all they all dead end of the article said that there is no way they can get those accounts back there's it's like non-negotiable oh shit well fuck off but so will it basically go everyone's going to have no followers

► 02:17:58

you won't be able to see it you'll be able to see your account like you'll know so I'm gonna do every day I'm gonna post an Instagram photo of my account that people recognize bitches recognized I mean people are fucking falling off cliffs taking selfies have you seen it's like the fucking Darwin where you'll still be able see the likes you just won't be able to see your followers are you there no no you'll be able to see how many likes you have on your photos well I'm gonna post screen grab it and pull wait a minute my what I'll do is I'll post something in the morning and then three times throughout the day I'll post it to see which how many likes I got everything that's for sure gonna happen gangster moved Twitter be so mad though it's gonna be so mad at you you fuck bypassing like a showing or like some Metric yeah well that's the move post on my Twitter account post on my Facebook is that's a dumpster it is Facebook's a dumpster I just I don't even really even yeah I mean you don't things over there like it doesn't years just connect to it like it just automatically posts but it's interesting because it's

► 02:18:57

little reflects my lack of interaction because like I only have two million Facebook followers whereas like everything else is way more that's the whole engagement thing now so there was this I social medias it's to its full time job so I was talking about people for to run my social media and they'll look what you have to engage people to all to get in the algorithm now you have to ask you have to ask questions so that people like you notice it celebrities for a while kept going like so what are you doing this weekend like as if said they were dumb like what do you like to cook on you know taco night like with all these like insincere questions because they wanted people to answer so they could get it out oh that makes sense yeah sure I read one that said what's your least favorite chore like what in the fuck are you what are you it's the amount of robot if you can't if you if you by the way the shot of this is so funny because she just looks like a dead body done with us she checked out she was with us for a while now her neck while she's awful because I didn't have her on chat because she

► 02:19:58

stealing my thunder and distracting you back bitch there she's back wake up hooker look over here hey the bitch I gotta end this I got to be up Tommy store in two hours fuck my gotta go home and hug my kids if you don't parent all right Whitney Cummings your new Netflix special available right fucking now don't worry about following me because Flowers don't matter anymore not matter don't like any of her Proto's liking doesn't mean anything all right bye everybody no resuscitate this robot

► 02:20:31

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► 02:22:29

- Brogan and last but not least we are brought to you by the motherfucking cash app the number one app in finance in the App Store you can download it for free from the app store or the Google Play Market enter the referral code Joe Rogan all one word and for the month of July you will get $10 off not five not not $10 off you get $10 fuck what's wrong with me you get $10 not five but 10 in the cash app will also send ten dollars to support our good friend Justin Ren's fight for the Forgotten charity and there are building Wells for the pygmies in the Congo they've already built two Wells using this promotion and in the process of building more right now and they've raised thousands and thousands of dollars it's great for everybody so download the cash app use the promo code Joe Rogan everybody wins thank you my friends much love to you all bye-bye big kiss