#1324 - Ian Edwards

Jul 11, 2019

Ian Edwards is a stand up comedian and also hosts his own podcast called “Soccer Comic Rant” on iTunes/Stitcher. His new special "Bill Burr presents Ian Talk: Ideas Not Worth Spreading" premieres July 12 on Comedy Central.

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we are also bought two you bought two you sort of the paying for this but we're brought to you by Buffalo Trace Whiskey I'm a giant fan of this whiskey we've drank it on the podcast many many times you see the fight companions 9 times out of 10 we're drinking Buffalo Trace Whiskey they've been distilling since 1773 what to stop and think about that a company that has been around since 1773 Makin hard liquor ever since early American Pioneers follow the Buffalo herds to the Kentucky River that's when they started making this stuff they even operated during prohibition with a permit to make whiskey for air quotes medicinal purposes how hilarious was that people can get a medical whiskey license

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also help you find the right home insurance auto insurance and disability insurance so if you need life insurance but you don't want to deal with all the legwork head to policy genius.com it's the easy way for you to compare all the top insurers find the vest the vest the vest value of for you the best value for you policy genius delegate what you hate especially if you hate getting life insurance my guest today is one of my best friend's I travel with him constantly on the road we've done hundreds of gigs together he introduced me during my 2016 Netflix special triggered he's awesome and he's got a new Comedy Central special that is out this Friday night he is the Great and Powerful Ian Edwards

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The Joe Rogan Experience Train by day Joe Rogan podcast by night all day

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he never was the ever the contrarian shows up with an Android phone drinking tea okay follow No Rules Bill Deegan pavers ha ha ha sorta you had some french fries deadly robot that we made with clearly Legend animal Jamie you were there what did you say it's all friends prior to yes appeared in my life listening MGM Steakhouse Dane Cook in that fucking those french fries and anything other than animal fact guarantee the to delicious I didn't see it I didn't see it even in McDonald's you get McDonald's fries apparently they cook them in some fucking disgusting fat but that's what makes them taste so good what does make McDonald's fries taste good they're pretty good but they're not my favorite I don't know I get confused when people say they're better than in and out fries what I like fries that taste like potatoes oh yeah even in and out fries are far superior I don't like fries that taste like potato

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David and all my years working with him I don't know fries better than McDonald's I do personally feel it you know who I hadn't beef with that about Claire Candy Alexander from Newsradio she was the first person to like we went and got in and out like for the holes the the whole group of us and she got McDonald's fries she went got McDonald's 50 ba GA McDonald's fries she's like Fuck this bullshit fries those in and out fries um like what I didn't understand they can be okay but they're so hit or miss that they can miss bad to me they're remarkably consistent they always what are we discussing here fries were mocking the wine remarkably well still they fuck with Five Guys fries five guys are the king of fries Richard yes there are two options they have their real they have the fucking potatoes and bags sitting in their goddamn store just to let you know bitch we're using these potatoes and then they take that bag and shake it in there

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cut it up they have cajun fries so they win you have another option you got spicy fries that are goddamn delicious might have to stop by there and then you don't have to crack packets worst to get your ketchup they have a giant tub of the ketchup he's squirt that bitch nice little cup little paper cup you can shower in have that and catch up with Donald had that homeless people would be under it we're at mustard in their mouth I'll tell you what man since Starbucks got in trouble for being racist there's a lot more homeless people at Starbucks like they understand that they could just go it's really it's really odd that's so funny they think it kicked out they can't get kicked out by he's afraid dude it's it's a hundred percent different hundred different in some spot like which ones are you going the ones in Hollywood they know how to handle it for the most part yeah locks and everything I went to a Shifty one in downtown where they don't even have a bathroom like how you serving coffee

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you don't have a bathroom cause it makes you shit and piss yeah this is ridiculous but I realized they didn't have a bathroom because the homeless people there was homeless people that had like this guy had a port and he was charging all of his devices he had everything he had like a phone a fucking iPad long night ahead of him but they get free electricity there and they so he's got like a bag of his stuff like he's got a little camp in the corner of the Starbucks I'm like wow on one hand like hey how's it going supposed to get some electricity I'm right I want him to get back up on its feet maybe this is the way to do it maybe it's through that iPad on the other hand Mike hey don't give me a disease you fucking got to this Instagram account yesterday Street people of Los Angeles which has got some very interesting content is that a naked person yes it is naked person just changing on the strange and on the street that was actually in San Francisco I think I can were checking that post but wow this is got some interesting stuff these guys were like Cookin underneath a tree on a lot with like a live Grill all right not somewhere but there's a Tommy's in Hollywood sorry good time is it

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and there's always like a bunch of young homeless people cooking in front of it like there's a bus stop they have a lit fire like cavemen like like like fear of The Walking Dead style campfire like outside of the Tommy's on Hollywood Boulevard like on a daily basis how weird this is weird that that's okay like if you just want to start a fire on the side of the road would that be okay no but can you start a fire to cook apparently can you or did they just not get busted probably need a permit yeah I think you need something like to be like a grill street vendor type of permit if you want to sell what if just wanted to give food away can't do that you can't but you can eat it yourself

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I don't know could you offer something seems like you could offer to somebody like you know if they allow you to cook and you and I were sitting there and we're cooking so would you like some and you said yeah it looks good that should be ok yeah it's like a donation or some places they don't charge you to get in but they accept the donation but if you plan in advance you say hey all of us meet on the corner of third and Santa Monica I'm gonna have a cookout and my brother house oh no how Sun Solaris we just setting up right here on the concrete yeah those do people should just go to a park that has those grills I could have Park is not far right Griffith Park is like people with homes cook there yeah you got free grills yeah you could just do it up there anybody can cook there yeah that is one of the nicest parts of LA by the way and if people don't know that is a fucking Wildlife Area that's a legit Wildlife Area there is a real Predator prey fucking law of the Jungle thing going down right now in Griffith Park its mouth

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lines and dear yeah it is going down and coyotes day and coyotes you are doing all your stuff it's a really amazing place right because here we are we got Pasadena in Glendale Burbank and La you know beautiful fucking BMWs driving by it's cool people are jogging they got earpods in jogging and Griffith Park they're jogging right near a war zone yeah here's a Wars which is rustling sometimes God live around the corner and I'm like like I'm on I'm stay paying attention hundred percent we got a giant framed picture and headed to the studio of this mountain lion that was photographed by a camera trap you know the camera trap is nah they set them up to monitor the numbers of Wildlife and to just try to get an accurate assessment of what's in the area so what it is is like a camera that's the photo camera that operates on motion detection so as this cat

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this probably hundred and fifty pound super muscular grown-ass Mount line with a fucking collar on his neck his name is P22 that's what it says is this a up there just waiting to about a hundred nineteen pounds as of May okay so it's not quite that big so it's still big enough to kill everyone in this room room with us where fuck yeah but look how muscular it is that is a look at the size of its goddamn forearms those are Franco Colombo forearms that is a scary animal and that animal lives around where all these people are jogging it's really strange situation I'm never going to Griffith Park again fuck that it's a great Park are ya fuck with people I saw a P1 25 about stay in my house graphic look at the Hollywood sign behind it though it's so perfect it's almost like a fake picture that is so close to me yes I close to you I went to the park and so I'm like a block and a half away from that joint dude I run

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the knife oh yeah I do I run with this fucking half-face blades knife it's called the sh POS subhuman piece of shit that's with the name of the night then same-same easy out here and Jesus Christ so they caught him here with look at that he's got blood and bones he's eating something that must be like a deer leg fucking a that is madness he's digging a hole in the ground to stuff it in there to save it fuck man because you know what the deer around there are really comfortable yeah but that could be a kid man 100% could be a kid but I know why he's there because the deer in that neighborhood like they walk around in the daytime like they're tourists to because there's no hunting around this they're like all come to unleash it and so they will probably see them to yeah so then now the like that's like oh let me track these motherfuckers over to this area and I'll just have a feast it's a buffet night

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look at this shit I'm all-in drive this is on Mulholland Drive there's a grown-ass mountain lion with a collar on that's got a giant deer on the ground a buck not giant was probably hundred pound deer on the ground dead on the on the side on the side of the city street is the regularization yeah civilization and this is a cat that's killing deer with its face it's where we live and not only that we know where it is we have a caller on it we're playing this game you don't fuck with us and you won't fuck with you and they won't fuck with you for the most part the problem comes when they get old they get old to get real dangerous because they get desperate they can't catch a deer anymore so they go for the easy kill for people people are easy right yeah man your kids are easy I'ma go hiking with somebody slow that's Move Ya go hiking with a small slow person someone who just doesn't look real challenge at all amen survival of the fittest go smoke him someone is smoking smoking the meat

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more attractive so Larry what if what if what we eat affects how we taste it's got it right so maybe the maybe like people who were in really in the junk food they'll be more attractive yeah sweet taste to them yeah I bet right if you just eat candy all day I bet you taste delicious yeah human Skittle attack the human Skittle over here leave me alone that fucking cat is so big man imagine just seeing a hundred and fifteen pound cat in the room with you it'd be like oh Jesus Christ like my dog is probably maybe 75 80 pounds somewhere in that range he's not a marshal yeah and if he wanted to kill me he probably could write I mean he said golden retriever they don't kill anything other than squirrels but if he wanted to I mean I don't know if you had that mentality really was like crazed like

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like 28 Days Later he got that rage virus in uh and he just went after me he's got giant ass fucking teeth right I mean I assumed that I would kick his ass because he listens to me right because I'm his daddy uh-huh you know what I mean like there's no he's never had Pit Bulls that growl at you a little bit and you got to kind of like hey motherfucker I'm the one who gives you your food crush it and then they give you their paw and then they're sorry you play a little game with him Little dominance game especially when they're teenagers then like one and a half two years old they'll test you just to check because it's natural for them right natural for dogs Golden's don't ever do that you know ground anybody they just obediently she's like the worst guard dog of all time you come over everybody loves everybody loves you I love he loves people like he's never like not not like he's never met them but like he can't believe he hasn't seen them in so long it's like a long longer glows the long-lost friends everyone's a long lost friend hurler everyone everyone is a long-lost friends that's what it's like with him he's such a

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sponge I don't I would be jealous if I if that's my dog I'm right so I'm not special yes just that motherfucker that's how dogs are really friendly dogs every new person is another opportunity for a new person to love them too so they get so excited to meet people smart do when people come over the house he's so hilarious everybody loves everybody I can't believe it you know like I never even came around in circles tool areas but if you wanted to you probably kill me I mean if a rat was that big I would fucking put my money on the rat and the right right and dogs dogs kill rats all the time even those little dogs like Jack Russells those little tiny dogs those are designed to kill rats so there's my ex had a dog right and I was holding the dog so and she got into a car right across the street and moved it and then got out the car wash and the dog

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acted like

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he didn't just see a jump in the car he acted like she went away for two days it was

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it's like she just went to just move the car across your you we watched her do it do you remember when we had mr. Foster Arian Foster on the podcast news talking about being able to kill wolf and we had a fight one yeah correct them where to go press stop this don't I know you're a beast but come on man where people were made out of like smush yeah everything's mushy it's all so sorry yeah something that wants a bite your tit like a wolf decide to bite your tit the amount of pain you'd be in be unbearable and are you feel like one of those buns that they give you at the steakhouse that's what your flesh feels like exactly that ghost of a steakhouse bun bread look at his fucking it are in Foster spent four hours on Twitter explaining why he'd beat a wolf one-on-one ezel area isn't he doing a podcast now he's got his own podcast he started doing music which is really good you just release some music on there I think bombs of he knows he's a very these are running back he was rude

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a vegan running back he retired young and he's fucking super smart man just accept in control when it comes to yeah except when it comes to walls I think he's trolling a little bit he's having a little fun as being smart yeah there's like a wolf you could get not any wolf oh yeah yeah oh yeah yeah yeah he's a fuckup old one a declawed one with no teeth a grandma wolf old one that doesn't have any endurance anymore he it would be a battle though even then before we get too far off of this I just this pictures on the yacht Google Images sent me down this this is just North of the Los Angeles Zoo so there's a I think this might even be that same chap we just saw so this chap cougar has some food it's eating and then next picture the Bears show up to take it and now wait a minute they're eating the fucking food instead of the cougar oh my God this is there us to is 30 miles away probably even closer so Bears steel deer from cougars this is what happens when liberals run a state listen folks I'm liberal I'm with you

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I know a lot of you think I'm not there's a lot of Knuckleheads out there the thing on part of the alt-right or something I vote left on fucking everything but you got to stop anthropomorphizing animals we got to be careful we I'm on team people I don't want these animals to die but I also don't want to go out to my fucking swimming pool and see a bear in there and they have that in Pasadena you seen that shit in Pasadena of this family went outside and there's a fucking bear swimming around their pool they are bears in Pasadena row big ones like it like 200 pound bear swimming in this motherfuckers pool do I live here how do how do I know this shit I always had you gotta take over man if they decide that this is our spot look at this shit hilarious look there's a few of them got the whole family my God how many bears are in there three I think oh my god dude these are these things are no joke the problem with bears is to once they get a spot where they know they can get

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food or they can get water or they can get something they're going to come back to that spot they get habituated that's why they have a real problem with them with people at Yellowstone used to feed them all right you know people would pull in and then I actually did that or were there when that happened when I was a little kid I went to Yellowstone my parents took me when I was probably like seven or eight years old and I remember this thinking this is so crazy you're in your car and the Bears are outside and they right there they don't do it the same way anymore though now they discourage human bear interaction they just didn't understand it I think as well which is kind of crazy because I was not that long ago I was like the 1970s all right I just don't understand people's like for ferocious animals like I don't want to kill him but I never want to feed something that could kill me well I think people have this really distorted idea of wildlife because of movies mmm if you thought about like what the Lion King is you would

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everyone a line to die you know line is noble and make sure there's a few bad ones but overall The Lion King's The he's the sweetheart is amazing you think about Yogi Bear and think about Teddy Bears kids have teddy bears I mean we have this weird thing we take polar bears which is the most vicious of all bears and we have them be our friend selling us ice cream and Coca-Cola to sell and Klondike bars every cartoon mm yeah and then people grew up watching these cartoons and think oh let me go pet this friendly thing yeah that was drawn but that's a wish a Ferocious Beast yeah I wish it didn't have a history if we just thought of it as a thing like a wolverine right Wolverines don't have any there's no one no one feels about a wolverine the same way they think about a bear because there's no like cute Wolverines there's only the ones that you see in like you know X-Men like Wolverine dudes this one yeah but he's

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person his name's Wolverine there's no like cute Wolverines because they're so fucking ferocious such a monster of a little animal one Wolverine will fuck up a big bear oh for real dude they're fucking ruthless they chase wolves off food how big are Wolverine not big man 40 pounds 50 pounds she's they'll fuck up everything they fuck up everything everything runs away from there just ready to die all day all day ready to die and they're super strong and durable for a little tiny thing he was you know what a wolverine looks like and now I think I don't know up a wolverine bearings fact it looks like a fake animal look like a super jacked little giant rat bear thing with fangs it's like a scrapper is like a super Badger right Badgers are vegetable dishes I know they're vicious fucking vicious that's a wolverine geez bro I mean look at the teeth on that thing look at its face and that's its smiling yeah that's a good day those motherfuckers are ready to go to war

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all day make weird noises they're terrifying like if that thing wanted to kill you you would be fucked look at those claws in the teeth now imagine that that thing is hyper aggressive and it's a predator fuck that shit is built to survive fuck man that is a crazy little animal they are ferocious and they they are ready to go at all times and they'll try to get the fuck away from you the animal scientific me name means the Glutton that's a pretty apt description for feet tall weighing 22 pounds for females and 40 pounds for males this Fierce creatures are the largest members of the weasel family they're fucking weasels bro a vicious weasel still there small compared to some of the animals they compete with for food but a wolverine has no problem standing up to wolves or a bear when a meal is on the line and that crazy 40 pounds the way we bears are to us is the way or but we are the dogs you know like an 80-pound dog

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fuck you up if you're a hundred fifty-pound person that's how Wolverines are the Bears damn 40-pound Wolverine might fuck up a 200 pound bear there's like damn she ain't worth it when I die I want to come back as a wolverine yeah it's a vicious animal the Caribou the hairs and rodents as well as larger animals like Caribou that are weaker ill the wall so scavenge from any carcass they can get their claws on they also eat vegetables and berries frozen meat isn't a deterrent their upper molar that's it sideways at 90° lets them rip into ice-covered carcasses their teeth are so sharp and strong that they can even eat bones whoa down once they got food they often buried it to save for later mere hours after a meal they'll go on the hunt again ferocious ferocious little fucks ugly as shit too yeah so we don't have a cutie pie one of those right really cute you what if we did we'd like the Wolverine hi mr. Wolfe our kids and I'm here to help you and guide you through the forest now they're here

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eat your kid I'm waiting for some woman to bring on a plane as a support Wolverine oh yeah for sure yeah some crazy It's Always a Woman yeah and always one that's like over 50 and on all kinds of medication if you're a dude and you bring a wolverine on a playing the beat will beat your ass has a Wolverine ever killed a person

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this some women will get the offended by that why does it have to always be in women is it you it's not you right I'm not talking about you all right why getting person why do we have to be gender specific I'm saying I give if I'm saying probably woman doesn't mean he know women right means is it's probably really a woman right yeah I guess because being on because the peacock person that was a woman that was a woman and then the but in the peat in the the Defense of Women a guy got an emotional support alligator recently more than it was a guy and he's an idiot but I hear about that I wonder how many of those people including the peacock lady are doing it just for attention because they know that people talk about it I think people that have that guidance or this girl and say in San diego-la Jolla she came to the restaurant with her micro pig it's not real you know it's not real name it they made those yeah well you're coming to explain it to me she adopted a pic and yeah kept it and then fed it and then drove some ungodly

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amount of time like two days to Texas drop it off at a pig Sanctuary that's how crazy for Animals Whitney Cummings so through Whitney I learned that pigs are just pigs there's no micro pig it's just a pig that they don't feed oh for real for real so they just starved and it just see him getting big by not giving it a lot of food they're cool pawn it off on a sucker the pig exactly Scott to eat exactly a greedy little pig yeah I mean they're famous for getting fat that's what they love to do so they'll pawn it off on some person and then they can't afford not to feed it another person doesn't know any better they think they're getting a micro pig oh it's give me small and cute forever now you're gonna have a thousand pound pig if you give you feed it everything it wants to eat is gonna keep growing it's like damn but how did my pig grow it's a buzz because it's so big there's no micro it's like micro people like if you look at people from like the Civil War day they were all 125 pounds while why was that

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didn't have any fucking food right the think I today probably 200 pounds yeah they did McDonald's and all that stuff and everything in it oh yeah but even just eating regular food all right just like real meat and potatoes and vegetables and shit you're not gonna be a hundred twenty five pounds I got was probably starving yeah they probably didn't have three meals a day back in the Civil War no Sarah and snacks I read this book by this pool Hustler it was mcgirt e life of a billiard Hustler I think it was so really interesting book because it was about a guy who survived by travel around on trains like a hobo gambling playing pool and billiards in the depression but during the Depression who's talking about almost starving to death like a people would knock on people's doors and beg for food and and you know people would just come out with a plate of food and give it to them like everybody was like on the edge people had a really rely on people didn't like rely on people for food there was no fucking jobs there's a lot of people back then

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with looking at these homeless folks and like for the most part my opinion is you're looking at people probably have an undiagnosed or untreated mental illness yeah it's a lot of that it's I think it's a lot I don't know what the number is but I would think it's a lot and then there's also people that make mistakes down the line and then people that you know had terrible childhoods horrible abuse sexual abuse violence the evil parents you know parents died leave him alone foster care all that kind of shit lately it's not their fault a lot of times and then as humans we should do something to take care of it but on the other hand yeah and we just don't know who's who out there yeah exactly who's mentally ill who just needs help and the mentally ill people man they need help too but like how do you force them to

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you know how do you force them in a tree and how do you just get them real help so that because yeah the way they do help people with pills and all that stuff Som some of it works and some of it doesn't work you know what I mean and some of its just like creates a dependency on something yeah so it's just like the the system just from the beginning needs to be fixed right and not just like pills and like have you ever been on any kind of Psych medication no have you ever taken Adderall no me neither I want to though you do Jamie gave me a little bit of Adderall once allegedly and I didn't take it I looked at it I was like I don't do it mascara to speed yeah I'd be going gave it to you because I haven't taken it either had it for a long time like I don't think I'm gonna take it I just I've known so many people that do it and they get real weird they get weird and it is a it's it's an amphetamine and when you take amphetamines especially if you don't take amphetamines

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really strange things happen and one of the things happen is people get really paranoid they get really weird they get they start having delusions of grandeur they start thinking that what they're doing is very important that a lot of people out to take them down hmm and you see that with people that do too much Adderall they don't follow the prescription they just start chewing them all day whoo things can get real slippery like because it's slippery it's like meth slippery that's all right because it's like because they I guess they get immune to it so they got to take extra oh yeah and anyway then the more you take yeah the worse it gets yeah tolerance is a real for everything yeah assume I mean they even have tolerances for snake venom

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you know the one of the things that snake handlers do they'll give themselves a little bit of Venom every day so I was immune to snake venom right your body is an amazing adaptable thing which is why vaccines work right so why these crazy fucks you don't want us to have vaccines like listen you know we gotta be real careful with Clayman expertise on this shit we gotta be real careful with getting fucked over by pharmaceutical companies yeah we got to be real careful of that too but we also got to be real careful of not listening to these doctors and researchers that are struggling to find the ways to cure these horrible infectious diseases because they've got a lot of them nailed through vaccines it's so confusing I think you can make an argument on for any team sure anything you can so it's tough to figure out I know a logical intelligent people that think that vaccines cause autism and I'm not a doctor so I don't know if you know that yeah I think I think not a doctor

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put I've heard logical intelligent people argue that that vaccines can cause autism like man you're not a scientist like how could you say that because you saw it in a documentary I know it's interesting when you see something in a documentary that sounds good you want to relate its fact I'm as guilty as that as anyone probably more guilty than most I'm guilty of doing that a lot but just recognizing that over time I've gotten to this point where I'm like maybe I should just shut the fuck up about something that I don't actually know about and try to figure out what it is instead of saying what it is what they what they do know is that vaccines have stopped the spread of fucking bunch of awful diseases saved a bunch of plague smallpox that Lindsay fitzharris woman who's been on the podcast Jamie she sent me some image of some people with smallpox bunch of stuff about some smallpox is horrific man just horrific with how it kills you

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rific they nip that shit in the bud with vaccines maybe maybe they've changed maybe maybe some vaccines do give people autism right guys back looks like em maybe some Bactine is vaccines do give some people autism but overall most of the time it helps everybody like there's going to be some things that affect people differently hmm But then that but that means you can't stop taking it or giving it to everybody that's no consolation happen right it's no consolation if you get autism from it or if your child right autism from yeah but it's one of those things that's most everybody else state grows up without it right you know it's a messy thing about being a person right right like this not is not like clean print like are you Pro abortion well I'm pro-abortion up to a point right right when it gets to be like seven months it's that seems to you know it gets longer in the pregnancy

► 00:37:40

seems like we're told you talking about like the first few days yeah what is that a Camry cell I'm pro-abortion if I get the girl pregnant as far as it takes as far as it takes yeah it's um it's a weird you know with many many many subjects right there's like a weird well it's not exactly well it's this you know if there's a vaccine court for reason vaccines have done damage to people yeah people got injured from vaccines we're at during the injection site something happened Peter hotez was talking about that he's a doctor that's a specialist in infectious diseases and vaccines and he was explaining that there's five environmental factors if they think or five factors they think contribute to a child possibly getting autism they've narrowed it down to these things with the most current research but they're all during the womb it's contact with things during the womb or in the genetics of the mother they think that's it has something to do with the developmental process

► 00:38:40

says while the child is in vitro in the woman's body not after birth they don't think it occurs after birth but I don't know that I mean they could be wrong then we could be current and then they could change that opinion a year from now they can find new evidence that shit happens all the time yeah exactly it really does it happens all the time but what we have to do is make sure we have fucking people that are working on this shit trying to figure out the way to stop diseases because otherwise some Spanish flu type shit comes rolling around and all the bullshit and kill everybody that Spanish flu killed millions and millions of people in the 1920s and it doesn't sound lethal at all just Spanish Flu is just like how did that kill people sounds like a drink yeah

► 00:39:23

the Bring It full circle back to Downtown LA with that where typhus outbreaks of Happily accept thing is typhoid fever I think but it's also very close to new one it's a new one it's a new typhoid that they don't have a fucking vaccine for house down there the other day just try and buy Donuts downtown the the Allure of downtown has escaped me everybody everybody thinks it's amazing with Jamie and I talked and we've been talking about this forever we wanted to get a loft in downtown like I'm high and start filming podcast up there uh-huh because I think that would be the coolest backdrop right like for you to but you and me sitting here behind us you just also building my from Times Square t v-- shit yeah lights and shit like that would be an amazing backdrop for a podcast green screen that now I'm be safe yeah I can't do that if I was going to Green Screen something it would be like current events shit it would be like Melania Trump slapping dolls hand away be like to see that shit like that would be what I would

► 00:40:22

I wouldn't pretend I'm in the savannas and then I mean like behind me is Peter creeping up on me and everybody sees it like does he know does he know I'll be sitting in Griffith park behind me is a mountain lion munching on a leg I was meditating in Griffith Park oh do you like one morning and I hear rustling in the bushes and it was a coyote like just waking up they bite you yeah and I was like I can't tell my you that anymore close my eyes and drift apart yeah you go camping out there they'll bite you they'll check the you might be dead don't think you're like yeah you just lie in there like that maybe just recently died by you yeah the real will the really well they're Predators the whole thing is so strange people are so strange how we just we think it's cool it's cool to be around these bears and mountain lions and shit and we have Urban coyotes ones that like you'll see walking down the street at night yeah my neighbor had two little dogs and one of them was really old so then she had to walk them one at a time because she saw a coyote one time

► 00:41:23

coming up on him and she couldn't handle both of them so she takes or she used to take each dog out to walk at night one at a time take a gun shut that fucking rotten dog right in the face it's hot that's what a coyote is a dog not her dog was talking about the coyote but actually that's a wolf it's a small wolf too small room yeah coyotes like a particularly durable and resilient form of wolf so shitty wolf it's a really interesting wolf there's a great book called coyote America by Dan Flores he I learned about him through my friend Steve rinella I think he was obsessed his professor and one of his one of his courses but he is a guy who spent an extreme amount of time studying the history and the science behind coyotes really really interesting book but one of the things they found out is that when you kill a coyote they just make more coyotes that's right yeah like they know they spread out

► 00:42:23

yeah they when they yell out then yell out the communicate in a lot of different ways they yell out when they kill something sometimes they yell out when they're trying to figure out where each other's are they also yell like a roll call like this no it's okay all right out there so they like yeah what's up yeah hey Jenna hi Jamie they do that that's part of what they're doing and when one is missing the the female there's some sort of a chemical or biological reaction in her body makes more puppies she's like we're fucking tonight yeah I didn't hear Jaime we fucking tonight they make larger litters so if I can normal litter would be like for pops if someone's missing they'll make six or eight she something along those lines and now we can't kill him well they spread out to went in the 1700's and 1800's you know when people's first started going through the west and there you know they were around but then when we started killing them they spread to the entire country there are also they weren't single state so they weren't like that this way

► 00:43:23

no no they weren't everywhere there are West animal there are Western animal and then they went brow there in New York City oh shit for real yes for real there's coyotes in New York City they have little packs of them running around Times Square get out of here dude for real dude there's little coyotes that are wandering through Central Park listen I get that there's mountain lions in Griffith Park I get that this is urban caught but New York City I might have made up the Time Square part but that's bananas definitely architect but I know they're in New York is there was a probably came from upstate they've seen him in buildings building coyotes in abandoned buildings where they've decided to make a lack of NASA and abandoned build their although over downtown LA yeah Central Park Central Park bam coyote motherfucker damn bro streets coyote okay on the street so I was telling the truth they could go to Times Square easily yeah they're everywhere now look I'm almost like your Torres reading coyote that is a

► 00:44:22

all wolf that's what that is and there we were infected with them and here's the thing this is what you have to be aware of that's the gentleman that go back what is his name Justin Brown yeah Justin Brown was on the podcast he tracks coyotes all throughout downtown LA hmm he's biology a wildlife biologist that works for the state really interesting in Downtown LA so instead of like being at a ranch outside of Bakersfield and Tachi mountains this guy is look there's a coyote same camera trap got that get a picture of that too young James order that bitch up make a note yeah why not right we should have coyote picture too we can't just have them outline that's rude let's show all the crazy shit that's wandering see if they got a bear in the that camera trap hopefully they got a beer I like how the coyotes are so used to being around I like the way they walk down the street is just like regular yeah like no trepidation whatsoever look at that just wondering yeah yeah whistling

► 00:45:22

look I remember in 1994 the first might have been 93 first time I ever came to LA and I was staying at the Oakwood Gardens or yeah I know those yeah Oakwood our hands yeah on Barham there in Burbank there furnished apartments where it's where you stay when you first come to La you don't have a spot you don't have enough money to get it up and you don't know if the show you're on is ever going to last year so I stayed at these Oak Woods Apartments I was driving up the street to the apartment and I saw coyotes I was like what is this dog doing this morning right and I was like oh shit those are coyotes I couldn't believe it it's fine I pulled over and I'm looking out the window there's Three Little Wolves isn't it funny how

► 00:46:03

that moment when something you never seen before you see it and it takes your second to realize it what it is and then you the word for what it is comes to your head right away yeah like you knew it was a coyote even though you never really seen a coyote before I was in denial is in denial yeah I was thinking I was a dog like it was three dogs and then I had to pull over and I'm like I remember people telling me they'd seen coyotes mmm but I thought it was like I saw a mountain lion like if someone says I saw a mountain lion you like holy shit you did that's pretty rare right right have you ever seen one no I've seen to it live yeah see two live ones while you like out there yeah and what happened one of them ate my dog is that lived in Colorado yeah and you is right there no no I was at this mountain lions case in the house I think right and we saw it in the woods at one point in time and then another one I saw in Santa Barbara in Montecito driving through a neighborhood I saw this animal run across the car

► 00:47:03

in front of the lights and I saw its tail I was like holy shit that's a cat I take it back I have seen some outlines really you know Faizon Love Ya he moves all over the place but one time he lived in San Diego me and Hugh more went to visit him and wizard his house hanging out and that night he was like look out the window in his backyard and there was like mountain lions in his fucking back yard more than one yeah there's like two or three of them well mines and all I'm thinking is like how the fuck are we going to get to the car like my God and he was so casual about it and I was like wow yeah yeah it's time to move Son yeah Jamie did you ever see that video from Colorado where a guy looked out his window there's three mountain lions on his driveway like super clear iPhone footage and sky or Android phone I don't know what do you mean yeah it could be could be an Android he was saying this week anything more shit for using an Android phone then for being a vegan here

► 00:48:03

for being a black vegan what a comedian gonna be yeah yeah you get more grief yeah for having an Android phone yeah it's a weird little battle right it's like Republican Democrat type shit yeah it is it is I people with iPhones really ain't trying to have it but it's not just that it's like there's teams it's like the fucking Orioles are playing the Yankees yeah you know people get on a goddamn team and iPhones are the Yankees right now it's weird man fault the phone thing is a weird thing it's weird that people are so they're really like so tribal all right there tribal with their phone it ain't made a tribe out of phones people can make a tribe out of anything mmm and what's really crazy is the biggest company the ones is the most desirable is a company that also makes computers and they make their own shit they make their own Hardware right like that's what's really strange about Apple

► 00:49:02

like they make everything they make the software they make the hardware the only is only one you have different models but there's only an iPhone you get an iPhone all wrecks are whatever the fuck it is X x s Max but it's only an iPhone that's all you get you don't get it you don't get anything else where is Android you got hundreds of Brands yeah see the so much variety everybody yeah but truth from Jamie's like that but you got to have you got to be able to deal with that green yeah and a green light comes in like this most offended by the green bubble I have friends that I got those smart people but maybe if they're smart and your bubble comes a green it means something you know what that it doesn't look green to them that's the thing yeah - injure is pretty cool looking yeah all my text is when they come in

► 00:50:01

like they're all what do they look like to show you see a conversation well I think minor oh they're blue they are blue so here's come in blue anyway so it looks blue what do you have a note yeah our Galaxy Note not 09 yeah that's the shit I have one of those yes it's my other phone yeah you told me yeah that thing is badass yeah it's a beast of a phone that screen is amazing yeah it's so big and you like you get the whole screen there's no cut out and it goes down to side and shirt Mmm Yeah but I got it just in case like I'm on a flight and I want to watch something on it or just somewhere you want to watch something on it you download it and you have a full screen yeah instead of having like a getting an iPad on top of that rise people have just too much shit do you ever use the pen know that pain is useless to me yeah I just like like sign that document today like yeah like Shonda needed a W-9 signed a W-9 form for me I just like

► 00:50:58

downloaded it signed it and then emailed it back yeah I've never used it yeah maybe it's just me I draw dicks on people's head that's a perfect use for it but I also feel like a rebel when I use my Android phone I do so Larry I do I feel like a rebel are you fucking I'm crazy man fucking trans out here whoo when do you use your android like like so you have your iPhone yeah so when using it more often I'm transition out of one phone number to another which I have to do often okay so you have two different numbers and yeah okay getting used to it play by play with it a lot they've got a new one that's coming out there's a new ones coming out looks amazing do you attend no 10 yeah it's coming out like in a couple weeks yeah I try to hold on to I don't try to get every new phone I try to hold onto it for a minute so I feel like they didn't rip me off and it may be three or two phones later then I'll get the other one

► 00:51:58

by every phone I feel like I want to be a rebel within the rebel you know you think I'll get some old shit yeah I got some old she's not gonna get me like in this Loop of just buying buying buying comparison yeah it's in a weird thing like that phone they could stop right there that sounds perfect like it does everything yeah what more do I need they take pictures makes videos get on the internet ask it questions give me answers send emails what the fuck else do I need

► 00:52:28

don't you don't you don't it does everything unless they come up with some new shit but if someone said hey Ian I'll give you a million dollars but you got to use that phone only for the rest of your life would you say yes this one yes that's crazy right yeah the brakes will replace it but that's your phone forever I know it was I know it'll slow down well Apple phones are slow down because they engineered them and that means sick that that almost made me stop using Apple stuff I was like I can't believe that you guys are attributing this to battery life that is that's in disingenuine then they admitted it right well the admitted it but they said they did it so that it would give you more battery life because your battery degrades over time so they engineered it that is a convenient yeah they also must have understood that people are going to get frustrated with the fact that it's slowed down considerably and they would give them an incentive to buy a new phone to say that they didn't say that like come on you guys are

► 00:53:28

God damn smart you make iPhone right they figured out everything yeah but not that you didn't throw that out you figure that out on purpose yeah you also one of the most successful businesses of all time Apple has billions of dollars cash just sitting there they have so much money I got Pablo Escobar buried money they got so much money yeah apple has something like how many billions of dollars is Apple halves 225 billion Apple has so much cash that they could they could probably wipe out half our debt what's our this what they could buy right now and still have 25 billion left over they could buy Nike Ferrari yeah Twitter the Manchester United franchise and the Manchester United football team and still have a home much less 25 billion left he's if I say football for people like yourself that are efficient thank you sir I didn't say soccer appreciate that do they say soccer where you from like originally in English

► 00:54:28

yeah no not in England and the English football yeah only in America they say soccer but before the like where did it where did it become football was it always football in Europe is always football well why why when it came over here did it switch over no idea

► 00:54:46

why didn't they come up with another name for football basically ever kick a football I think I think they were playing football like the soccer football and then somebody picked up the ball and started running with it and they started tackling each other like I heard some story like that and then they kind of created football and it evolved from there but then they never change the name is that where the like footballs called football when the only person who kicks it is a guy who can't even play the game it's the least significant person on the team as far as getting pussy when there's a championship yes it is weird yeah and you're not allowed to hit him right right and you're not allowed to hit them yeah that's crazy you can't hit him not while he's in motion of his vulnerable person to try to be safe oh so you can't hit him always kicking like the open area oh that's so ridiculous yeah what a bitch house rule you can you block the ball yeah you block the ball and then you get him here but in the crazy that that's football

► 00:55:46

only one time it gets kicked right how is that football why why what a silly name

► 00:55:51

right does it make sense but I'm not mad at it you know is like fine it's whatever imagine if they called you know baseball what would they call it foul if they called it foul we're playing foul something that happens every now and then this game has nothing to do with running around the bases it's it's about touchdowns should call it touchdown yeah but touchdown it because it's just you know baseball is just like we're trying to get from Base to Base yeah if they call baseball touchdown no they call football touchdown touchdown here the ntl national touchdown League we're going to we're going to play touchdown that's the game soccer football with your foot doesn't shit to do with Excel running an explanation of why we call it soccer and it's more confusing than we care to go through when you go back to England if you're from England and you talking about it to people do they resent the term soccer like how does that work some people do like I used to resent the term soccer really yeah but I live here and it's like get over it you know I'm

► 00:56:51

as a person I got to get over it because it was my favorite sport growing up yes I just got over it and then now I even call it soccer my podcast says soccer I don't even say football but when I go to England I just saw just when I'm around football soccer people I say football I get it yeah it's like if I if I was talking to someone they want to talk about pool but they want to call a bumper pool okay that's it the Woman's World Cup they won the World Cup in the United States did for soccer and but it's not you know it's football to people like yourself it's a World Cup but how can they call the World Cup soccer to appease the one country that gives the least amount of fucks about the sport right now weird yeah that is weird That's The Power of America that's crazy if you really stop and think about it we made them change the name of their thing yeah well I guess we're not gonna get in there we'll call it soccer okay work out of it but we're calling it this they call it for do they call it football in like Argentina

► 00:57:51

yeah everywhere football you know but it's football this their pronunciation and spelling of it but then Australia there the rebels of the rebels oh yeah they have their own rules they have Australian Rules Football they changed the rules right for more ruggedness yeah because the to eat you know what it was over there they were to use to rugby like those New Zealand Savages they have to yeah yeah they're fucking Savage can't play that bitch ass game with a helmet these guys are running around biting each other in the dick in the scrums right that's the most rugged game anything to win that's the game they should play in America all the CTE problems they're having you'd have a little bit of that with with anything contact Sports going to get injuries but I think you'd have less with no gear so both those things confuse me I don't know the difference between rugby on Australian Rules Football and I think in Australia they play both yes just I'd be just confused like what is the difference well the balls

► 00:58:51

right they both seem like what's a rugby ball look like literally look about the same is it no different not note that there is slight differences but they look about the same it's like a football with more rounded edges it's a little more plump as far as I know they could be playing with a round ball it literally don't even know yeah I have no idea what a rug is kind of like it kind of looks like an American that's it that's a cross between a basketball and a football yeah it's like a fat football yeah so that's an Australian use football though it's similar to a rugby ball okay so that's not a foot rugby ball but it's close so there's probably like football Australian Rules Football and then rugby ball right what is the rules what can they do and what are they doing different

► 00:59:35

it's also sometimes referred to in the media as the round ball game what the world game and International Football Australian Rules Football referred to as Australian football hmm I think I think that it's a little more like fluid like the game doesn't stop as much as less stoppages that kind of just keep going okay it says it's a little more fluid where players can pretty much run around where they choose they still have a specific end Side gold to score but it's more open in between another main difference is that the game is played in 20 minute quarters not halves I was trying to I told you a couple while ago they're heading 3 verse 3 basketball to the Olympics coming up and the way that that game is played is so different than traditional basketball like it's just a running clock the once you score you just take it out throw it back run across the line go score again it's very fast paced it's about bringing like Park ball to the Olympics I think so it apparently it's very popular in Europe it's not like that big three basketball that sort of started here it's not that same basketball but it's popular I guess

► 01:00:34

when will Harris was in here Will Harris has this show called anatomy of a fighter he's a videographer and he went to Dagestan to watch khabib nurmagomedov who's the UFC lightweight champion who's fucking animal man he's done he's one of the rare undefeated top of the food chain fighters in MMA they play a game of basketball in Dagestan where they don't dribble the ball at all they just like wrestle each other to the ground and even choke each other and get each other in arm bars and shit so that this is it let's just practice in Jiu-Jitsu yeah there we'll look they don't they don't dribble at all they're basically playing like football a football type but they're shooting at the basketball hoop but they throw each other to the ground and could be Bill fucking hip toss dudes because they have it right next to the wrestling mats huh so part of what they filmed was he was in a wrestling match with this dude when they were trying to take a player out so he's grabs ahold of this dude and when he grabs a whole is dude he drags him to the ground and

► 01:01:34

Matt back at some of the arm bar gets him in a room naked choke it's crazy makes the guy tap and then he doesn't let them up like here it goes look he grabs them like they're allowed to do this the guy slips through he gets him there sir they're grappling first of all they're grappling on the fucking hardwood floor full blast Glatt grappling and then he takes him to the ground like this is serious this isn't playing around dudes back now they're on the floor again they're on the hardwood floor and he's fucking choking him out just Conor McGregor them and then they keep going and as they keep going he's getting the guy in an arm bar later this is this is exactly this shit this is basketball for white dudes at can't dribble that's all this is just like how do we like yeah I don't know man I think it's this is the most effective way to use wrestling with basketballs yeah definitely that I think they just wanted to make something that's like a really hard workout that's very competitive I think I don't know if other people are doing this in Europe or if this is just something to Dagestan figured out

► 01:02:34

but look these are some of the most Savage fighters in the UFC it does look fun it looks fun as fuck yeah I must get to be beyond your back yeah they just don't have access to a very good basketball and pump to keep it pumped up and the floor probably not good to be dribbled on so they just figured out a better game to play instead of dealing with that fucked-up Encore that's a ridiculous way thank Jamie these are world-class Fighters their travel all over the world they have all sorts of gym equipment they have mats they have weights they have everything skin on it that City basketball I play with lots of basketballs my life you would never even try to dribble that it is missing on another American football / Jiu-Jitsu yes / basketball like if you have a dead spot on a court you almost only want to play on it but do they could get another ball they all have brand-new sneakers on and leggings and shit I mean it's not like that stands in the middle of nowhere they get Goods there they could but they might just like this game better there's like fucking we're playing this because well better at this that I think I think it helps them I'm saying that your leg made you go one-on-one with the basket maybe I did not understand the rules

► 01:03:34

cause they make them up hey you said it was like I was swearing for no reason other they're like they're they're talking out a dispute how do you argue with could be be you can that's the top dog that's the Beast of the fucking crew but yeah it's it's weird but what people that get really into like cricket cricket is one the Europeans brought over to India right I brought it to the West Indies aborted to any country that they colonize and all those countries love it and they play it so it's a colonization game yeah and then now they have like almost like the equivalent of like World Cups of cricket and all the countries Australia's big Cricket country because they are not so it's a big thing the West Indies and everything strange-looking game to right it's just boring takes takes days to play sometimes days yeah days yeah for a week I think sometimes yeah but one game yeah how many hours a day

► 01:04:34

long too many oh my God it's too many man I used to kill me it was fun to play in the backyard because it's you can just get some sticks and stick them in the ground and then put one across the top as a wicked that this is a game I have no idea I couldn't even draw you a picture of what the stick looks like I said for three sticks had three sticks are three sticks and then you put like one on top across the all of them said when the your out when the guy who's pitching or bowling and you swing and or if you don't swing and it hits the wicked and they knock overcome kind of like bowling sticks then you're out but yeah and then you get points for trying to protect the wicked protect the wicked and hit it so far that you can run from stick to stick you and your partner who's batting at the other end and then the the most amount of runs you can get that just adds to the score can I see that I want to see thatthat sounds

► 01:05:34

weird pull up a video of dudes playing Cricket I don't think I've ever watched it go yeah I think I've seen like highlights on television Maybe

► 01:05:45

you know it's funny that you have a scene Cricket not a fucking get no no chance I don't know see I'm already stunned by their outfits yeah well he's got an F nothing on some dudes are covered up in gear those are the guys with the helmets because the ball is hard as fuck I got hit by a cricket ball by the strongest kid in school on time oh then as I come down the way they throw it it was so weird

► 01:06:09

like the guys in the Outfield don't have anything because I just catch the ball barehanded right yeah barehanded yeah I feel like they should have met because he throws it he runs at you mmm

► 01:06:19

he runs and literally tries to hit you with the ball that's crazy and it does it have to hit the ground first is that the deal yeah at the yeah it does it does from what I remember because it seems like it but the dude like runs across the Line This is a bullshit game 100% bullshit game like I don't I'm not a big fan of baseball I used to eating it I think it's kind of boring yeah my wrestling coach used to say it's not a sport it's a Skills game to Skills game it's not support you ever see a baseball player so fucking tired he had to push himself here to push hope Smurf coach Murphy wrestling coach in high school also same guy tried to get me to play football when I wait a hundred thirty-five pounds our crazy asshole yeah maybe so some natural athlete should in you know I just thought it was mean oh yeah that was me and I'm gonna be good it's mean allow the wrestler that because what am I great safety probably just fucking people I would get crippled that's what would have happened but it is dude on our team's name's Bob

► 01:07:19

Baker he weighed good solid 300 pounds off of him so big Maybe not maybe I'm exaggerating but he was 250 he was our heavy weight and I was like how how is he and me how we going to play the same game where he could just run me over with out what did you want you to play I don't know we didn't even just didn't get that far off your crazy 30 fighting to I was doing martial arts and wrestling at the same time like look man I got I'm not doing that I'm already doing shit that freaks me out physical shit scares the shit out of me all the time I don't want to get scared by even bigger people at least from their martial arts and wrestling was confined to your own weight class you know if I had to wrestle some badass dude at least it was my own weight class right you know yeah this is like the weight scale is all over the place on the football field yeah man it's all over the place and the athleticism is all over the place to you know you get a guide like Herschel Walker and you know if you're in high school and there's a Herschel Walker in high school and he's on some team that you're posing good luck fuckface this

► 01:08:19

people that are just Superior just superiors not a damn thing you can do about it the people like that in martial arts like when you're all wrestling oh yeah yeah this thing's like that and outliers you know there's outliers in all sports and a lot of it has to do you know with what you did Growing Up sometimes people do things growing up like a lot of wrestlers turns out like working on farms as a kid is a great way for wrestlers to be super strong you know you should who make good Restless Cowboys oh yeah because they you know they stare at the get the cargo hold a fucking coward dragged to the ground they do it all the time they practice on them yeah for sure we'll also they're tough yeah because you're going to get banged up a lot and that a lot of it is like mental toughness yeah you know but people who have to calculate there's a dude Matt Hughes he's like one of the greatest Walter words of all time and he was ungodly strong right dude from Illinois because he grew up on a farm we're going to

► 01:09:19

wrestling animals I was at a party one time right as at a party one time and the stone by these rappers are just right on the show there's this Lounge so one of the rapper's Master fool dude from Brooklyn was friends with these Cowboy it's a great name master fans to fool his he's dope to he's like he's like the Flavor Flav of the of the wrappers oh good at group and he's just like he just talks everybody so he became friends with these Cowboys they came to visit La for a week and live in the house with the wrappers and you know they were real cowboys I like have that last Sue's out on the set and shit like that so then at the party this black dude with dreads got into an argument with one of the Cowboys ever like we're not going to fight in the house so everybody walks around the corner to the street and in five seconds that cowboy had the black dude with dreads tied up with his pants just just like Twisted hide his body right

► 01:10:19

and had him on the ground bleeding Jesus and then it was like I let him up and let's start again and he got up and he just did it to the black dude again and I was like I'll never fuck with a cowboy if if a Cowboy is a wrestler like he knows how to wrestle to both of those things yes wrestlers are so goddamn strong you don't realize until they grab you didn't even realize how helpless you are so weird feeling and even if you can wrestle if he like I wasn't a good wrestler in high school but I made it to the states and I remember when I was wrestling this kid who eventually became friends with because he's to come to novelist plus which is a place where I was teaching Taekwondo and we ran into each other when were both like

► 01:11:03

20 like probably 20 or something like that it was really cool it was a really nice guy his name is Murphy to I don't remember his first name might have been that might have been his first name lot of Irish people named Murphy it's like the most common name among the Irish people probably but I was like doing pretty good in like Regional shit but this guy got a hold of me and I was like fuck shit made me realize like this is another level wrestling he had been wrestling all of his life I'd only been doing it for a year he just dragged on me around I was like fuck yeah and he wasn't even like Like A Champion I don't think he won the states and then whoever did when the states didn't win the Nationals so it's like this is like tears travels and then like a National High School Champion ain't shit compared to a division 1 NCAA Amer All-American College wrestler than those College wrestlers are off the chain and then they ain't shit compared to like Jordan Burrows rights not that they're not shit I should never say that about I mean saying that in comparison because I admire them almost more than

► 01:12:02

any other athlete because there's no professional venue for what they do one of the more amazing things about wrestler as that go into it knowing there's no professional sport there's no perfect other than you know Pro wrestling's difference it's entertainment but there's no professional hundred thirty five pound wrestling 180 pound right there's nothing that they just love it they just love it and it's the toughest thing to do physically they're fucking animals and then when you get to the top of the top of the food chain like a multiple time world champion like Jordan Burrows he had a wrestling match with Ben askren and he just ran him over just all right over and Ben askren is one of the best rappers to ever compete in MMA and he was also a two-time Olympian wrestler yes and that guy he ran him over damn and Ben askren runs most people over when he wrestles with yeah yeah levels levels levels never ends with speaking of aspirin is he awake yet he's awake and talking he's he handled it Like A Champion all good yeah he went on Ariel helwani show

► 01:13:03

and talked about it and she said yeah it sucks the guy's a douche bag he's gonna like it sucks losing to him you know I don't like them he said you know he just what can he do he's like he's not going to read the comments he's a smart guy he's a very smart guy but he took it like a man to be able to go and do an interview right after you get knocked out like that it's very admirable but that's who he is that's how you get to be a guy who's as good a wrestler as a guy like Ben askren right I can handle a loss like that what do you think of the forgot I can't I can't pronounce the guy's name who beat him Jorge masvidal Mars without what he said after the fight he said he would smack him if he's home at Whole Foods yeah I think I think it's just a little too much you one eye but I can't I don't know their history the history is rough excuse me it's like 10 years of them giving him a hard time of if Ben askren given miles at all according to my Hospital a lot

► 01:14:02

talking shit which some people think is friendly in Masjid all Street Jesus doesn't fuck around all right you want to talk shit piece you want to talk shit the street Jesus he will fucking make fun of you after he flatlines you right and that's right good he flatlined them in 5 seconds made him the fastest ever KO in UFC history and then mocked him afterwards and said he would smack him if he saw him at Whole Foods but see we're talking about it so Masa dough is smart this is a yeah yeah this is an amazing marketing Ploy I mean he's he's become in one fight the most talked-about fighter in the sport because he did something in the sport that's been around for a little bit that nobody's ever done before yeah and asked him was undefeated yeah undefeated and Moss vidale comes out flatlines my dad and talk some pretty vicious shit after the fact and even mimicked him laying on the floor which would look scary the way he was out yeah

► 01:14:57

Masa dough was a calls out easy Conor McGregor I want to break his face yeah that would be that's a rough fight that's rough fight for Connor Masuda was a big fellow to mean he's he really belongs at 170 that's where he's fighting he fought at 155 but really tortured himself to make that weight right he's a big guy you talking about a guy who knocked out cowboy Cerrone knocked out there until knocked out Ben askren mean he's knocking out big welterweights big Darren tills a big welterweight he's big he's not a guy coming up from hundred fifty five pounds he's never making honey for what could be a baby's weight 55 155 so yeah so he's one way class heavier and he's really running into like the last few fights he's coming into his own he's like really becoming something special he had a real close decision loss to Wonder Boy

► 01:15:56

wish I could remember how that fight went down I just think it was a decision I don't know if it's a split decision or unanimous decision but I think it was just wonder boy out pointed them I don't think there was any knockdowns right now Smiles at all yeah it was monster doll but Wonder Boy is a particularly difficult guy to fight and especially for three rounds Pettis recently knocked him out but pet is just hit him with a perfect punch and that can happen to anybody and pedis timed it and Pettis is a be status is wild yeah he's a wild man he's a fantastic fighter like losing to him it's like yeah you lost him one of the best fighters ever and he also like he's a guy with drop Tony Ferguson I mean pet is knocked out cowboy Cerrone pet is knocked out Joe lausanne with his crazy hedging that is a monster had this is like he'll win one and then lose one when what yeah well it's a crazy division man's filled with murderers just murder after murder both divisions 55 and 70 and I think Pettis is probably going to do real good at 70 because he's healthier you know I think he went down to 145

► 01:16:55

in an almost killed them it was just too much man he had nothing in the tank and then Max Holloway beat him up he lost to I think he lost a Charles Oliveira mmm I think so I might be wrong he might have caught Charles Oliveira hmm I don't know Petty's has the most legit crazy look in his eye then whatever said it's one right choked him right that's right that's right I'm confused he lost to someone else at 1:45 who else would he lose it to it 45

► 01:17:27

Barbosa oh Barboza was 55 Dustin Poirier I don't think that was 54 and he lost the tone that was 45 PD doesn't say what week like they're fighting he lost her Tony right yes he lost Tony broke his hand in the fight and he has stopped but it was a great fight I was a great wind up dropping them okay so Charles Olive Edson Barboza and then Oliveira I think that was the thing that was 55 I think Max Holloway was 45 I don't know man I'm not sure though and then he went back up to 55 the other Dustin Poirier fight that was that was he got injured and that was at 55 catchweight if audience yeah yes miss the way oh he missed the fight with Max so he's trying to get down to 45 so featherweight debut was against Oliveira so he submission de Oliveira submitted all variants featherweight debut okay so we had two fights at that way and that way it was torturous for me didn't make it for the max Holloway fight

► 01:18:27

um and then Jim Miller's definitely a 55-pound fight and all the other ones are 55 till you got to Stephen Thompson and that was the last one Wonder Boy that was that was it welterweight yeah that was an amazing fight I mean so I think sometimes these guys is just too much man it's just too much he beat Michael chiesa says he beat Casa and cast is another one he was fighting at 55 and now he moved up to 70 at that ended up being a catchweight fight he's yes amidst these fucking guys man they're killing themselves that weight cotton oh imagine if that was the case with soccer like before a soccer game everybody had it like you had a certain amount of guaranteed weight on the field imagine like Ian you know you are whatever position it is you have to cut down to a hundred and thirty pounds you'd like fuck right right see it a drain your body in a sauna and then everybody ways and that everybody rehydrates and then the next day you play this grueling ask game and don't be ridiculous right fighting is the most tiring yeah thing

► 01:19:26

totally compromised the Game Wouldn't it yeah force majeure football players had to do that imagine football players only had like you want okay guys whatever the team is it has to wait for thousand pounds that's it no more and so you have to decide hey you know Bob can cut lower than 260 we checked his body fat Joe you're going to have to get down to 180 Jamie when we were kids playing football we had to weigh in and that sort of happened we all like yeah because if you were certain weight like you had to have stripes on your helmet and means you could only play like on the line you couldn't be carrying the ball because you'd be fucked no kids could tackle you fuck hello so there's like definitely a limit I remember I did have to where the trash bag and like cut five pound or tried for real fucking how much I weighed but it was so I could be a tight end and catch the ball because a little I was like on the border do that was such so bad for kids I had a friend in high school my friend Steven he's all of his brothers like 6162 he's like 56 he never grew and it was because all throughout high school and Junior High School he was cutting weight in wrestling I guarantee you it had something

► 01:20:26

with it everyone else's family is just all always and he was always tired always Dad is not his real dad oh no his brothers look just like okay he he was always tired he'll be walking around the hallways like this because you do Wrestling Camps would do the whole thing so he's always wrestling who's always exhausted always it's a terrible thing for kids the fact they still have kids do that is fucking Madness it's man that's people didn't know any better my parents had even asked me when I got on the wrestling team didn't have that you're not cutting weight are you didn't even ask me yeah they had no idea did you just listen to the coach coach tells you to lose weight how to lose weight fuck so bad for the body it's so bad for your brain to because I learn hydrates your brain then you're in class you're trying to listen in class your fucking it's worse than being hungover that's true because all they tell us to do now is drink water and stay hydrated and then you're doing something that's right you can't

► 01:21:26

anything in your system you just trying to drain it out doesn't affect you mentally yeah when you get dehydrated your brain works like shit all right like they say that's one of the things that happens is people in the desert when they start dying of thirst they can't think straight right they don't they don't make good decisions yeah I've been fatigued like it's soccer practice and you just like out you'll be wearing an opposing player shirt and just from fatigue I'll just pass it to you just to not have to have the responsibility of this ball you know I'm saying for reals I fuck it and I'm trying to make the team time I'm like making just blatant mistakes I'm just so tired man yeah fatigue makes cowards of men Vince Lombardi's Lon did you did that to me in college refiling Adam green tree at all his stories at this point in the video said he hadn't had water for like 18 hours and he still climbing uphill and needs to find it yeah great that's insane well he had to get rescued I don't know if he broke his arm I

► 01:22:26

chatted with him but he thinks he broke his arm to it is if you go to my friend Adam green trees Instagram Adam dot Greentree he documented this cunt that he went in for a thing called a Himalayan tahr that lives in New Zealand and it lives in these Alpine mountain areas on what's Alpine's mountain dangerous slippery Mountain areas and he got stuck out there and they had to get rescued and fell into the frozen glacier River was freezing to death how to climb into his sleeping bag soaking wet yeah really dangerous fell thought he broke his arm yeah I was worried that he might have broke his leg applaud his camera and film half of it to probably I don't think he filmed much of it he felt film some of it but he was having a really hard time and then he had to get rescued and he had to go somewhere where the helicopter could land so they could winch him and carry him up and rescue him and take him to the hospital fucking dangerous shit there's a lot of these guys like Adam who's a good friend of mine who

► 01:23:26

loves to go on these like Vision Quest solo Adventures so who go to the mountains and and camp out by himself for 28 days and he films it and puts it up on Instagram right where he's talking to himself and to his like hunting elk he's like Mountain areas and last year that's his his campsite last year he had a one-on-one encounter with a grizzly bear oh and he had a pistol with them and he's documenting him trying to hold off this mama Grizzly standing up in the background she made several charges at him and he didn't even know that the pistol was jammed the ammunition was the wrong size so the lever like when you cock it it couldn't it couldn't fit a another bullet in there so he had a dummy gun he's pointing a gun that's not even real because so if you pull the trigger nothing would have happened so then he realized that that was a problem when he I guess he tried to fire it to make sure it does work or something so then he had a realized that he had to put he could put one bullet in the chamber but he couldn't reload he could reload

► 01:24:26

musket style yeah so we had one bullet essentially one bullet either wrong ammo for the pistol and you only get one shot with one of those charger you don't even get one man when they're running at you you are shitting your pants and can't believe it you're going to miss half the bullets if you have ten bullets if you hit it once you're lucky it's Madness because you're not going to shoot when it's 10 feet away from you you're going to shoot as it's running towards you and you I don't think you're gonna be able to hold that position it's too crazy what is the bear doing when it's like making charges at him but you're not coming at him trying to get you to get the fuck away from its babies almost always almost always get the fuck away from my babies it's almost always a woman female bear rather protecting their code yeah that's their don't fuck around some asshole that might be a hunter you might be hunting bear you might want to shoot my baby yeah they don't know yeah you might just be you know they don't think of humans as a good thing humans are dangerous all right you know it's not our fucking good are predators

► 01:25:26

yeah I'm surprised Bears don't attack humans just more often based on that like how do they distinguish who's a hunter and who's not they don't think of hunters is being something they should attack they think they should get the fuck out of there because when they see guns go off and then a bowl of bullet hits a bear right next to them that bear kind of explodes and screams in agony and falls to the ground they just want to get the fuck out of there and not have it happen to them all right so if they'd seen that ever in their life they've seen a bear gets shot which if you're into places where Bears get hunted it's very likely that they have seen that they just run away they smell people they run they want to get the fuck out of the Bears look at humans like Predators only in places where people hunt bears all right the problem is when people don't hunt bears bears have zero fear of humans and then Bears wind up killing people right this is what you see in Yellowstone because those bears are grizzly bears in the only place in America where you can hunt grizzly bears is in Alaska and in Alaska they have a

► 01:26:26

attitude they're starting to open up grizzly bear Seasons I think there was one there were trying to do in Wyoming and there might have been one somewhere else where they were trying to do they do it in Canada but they recently Bandit and British Columbia and the reason why they banned it is not because of the people that live near the grizzly bears they're encouraging it because these things are famous coming today and dangerous it's the people that live in the cities are the most people like this the biggest population Center in British Columbia's Vancouver rights all Urban so that's the giant mass of people but the people that live like where my friend Mike hockridge lives those people don't have a say and those are the ones who live with bears right they have wolves and bears all over the place up there and the black bears which you can hunt those are not even dangerous I mean they're dangerous but not dangerous compared to Grizzlies right Grizzlies are fucking dangerous so those are liberals in those cities making those decisions let me believe in Allah can be even conservative people that are animal lovers and just don't

► 01:27:26

and what a bear is right there not kill I mean the idea is that they want to stop trophy hunting because you see like Cecil the lion that kind of shit Max disgusting and it is it is a lot in a lot of ways like wanting to go and just shoot these things just to stop them and put them on your walls there's a lot of weird shit to that I totally understand your feelings on it I get it but the grizzly bear things that different thing it was the people that were raised on the cartoon and it like stop killing these cartoons yeah the cartoon version of the animal that they saw growing up so they have no idea well even in Africa the exact area where Cecil the lion was killed they had a recently kill two hundred Lions because there are lions yeah because so many lions had survived because there was no hunting they came back they came back up it's so weird it's not good it's not ideal situation is not ideal because it's so so bizarre and twisted the animals survived because people pay to kill him

► 01:28:27

that's what the African Wildlife model in these in caged areas at so they have like 10,000 acres or some shit like that they put it in fences right and then inside those fences you have zebras and giraffes and all these different animals you can come over there and pay and you can go and Hunt these animals that's that's a lot of the area so this guy who that Cecil guy who shot that lion he paid like $50,000 to go and hunt a lion and there's probably One A Day to a day three a day so it was hundreds and hundreds of thousands of dollars of Revenue coming in this Revenue comes in for these guys that want to kill lions and what they do is they use it to raise more lions and they use it to pay a hunting these people call Professional Hunters are basically game wardens to keep out poachers and to make sure that these animals don't get like rhinos don't get their horns chopped off and murdered just just for their horns and things elephants for their tusks things along those lines so they need to hire people to

► 01:29:27

tact against poaching because look in Africa there's a lot of people that are in especially in these areas where they have these hunting are these vast rural areas people are extremely poor right and they want animals to just to eat they're going to call that poaching and have to put so then it gets even squirrelly there right it's not it's not an ideal situation by any stretch of the imagination but because no Hunters were coming in now because of all the bad press after the Cecil the lion said they had a kill two hundred Lions because there are many because that many like got born and yeah whooping because they have a real unnatural situation over there all right well they breeding these lions and then they put him in the like it's some every place does it a different way and some places are free range or there's no fence at all that is true there's someplace to like that right but some places it's all fenced in the whole thing's fenced in it's like a zoo like a fake wow yeah it's they took the Wild and they made it fake its put a fence around the while and then they kept introducing food and then they have lions at they keep in very specific

► 01:30:27

areas and they feed them and then they'll transport them to the middle and then they of the hunter comes that day and they tell them where the lion is the guy goes out there boom shoots the line and poses with the lion it's perverse yeah that's kind of bananas perverse yeah on the other hand these animals that are in their particular the antelopes and black box and not nilgai and all these crazy wild fucking antlered creatures there in greater numbers than they've ever been so it's so Twisted it's like they're the numbers are so high because people want to come in and pay to hunt them right but then the numbers are high so people can hunt them it's not like so that they can keep the whole Wildlife ecology free and Rome and look how vibrant Africa is now that we've stepped in with all these conservation dollars not really no it's fenced in and then people drive up to a spot get out boom take a picture too weird we fuck up everything great job it's weird great job people yeah we're the best I'm reading a

► 01:31:26

explanation of a person that has gone to this park in Zimbabwe to go see the Lions and they've done this in the past and I went back more recently and this is hilarious read this thing here then our hose gave us our safety orientation he told us to speak to the lines in a calm voice approach slowly and to pet them on their backs only

► 01:31:50

then our host handed out skinny sticks to each of us he explained that if a line approached us in the threatening manner we should switch the stick back and forth in the grass is track them

► 01:32:01

what what let me eat you there's a Jesus Christ it says that they thought they were going to go see like a child baby cubs you know case definitely not there like 18 months old almost you know a little bit older they're probably so adolescent lines yeah like this big eyesore this video like this a try bound or what part of Africa but like if a cheater or like a like a cat like hunts down and animal and kills it like these these these people from this tribe like they track the hunt and then once the animal or the cat kills the food then they'll scare off the cat I saw them take it and then it stinks and they have these little sticks yeah and in the fucking cheetahs and whatever run away from him I'm like so crazy I saw that I watched a video of that month someone's Instagram yeah well you gotta do what you gotta do when you're hungry yeah you take a chance yeah then I mean

► 01:33:01

unless they have a really good weapon it's hard to get an antelope you gotta get fucking close all right but a cheetah can just Chase it down if I'm a you think it's just crazy that a human could take a cheetah's food yeah it is crazy yeah they do with lions too yeah they do a Spears they run up on lions with Spears a scene that to like female lions is roaring at people when they dragged away their food there's Robin a lion lion she goes back to her to the to the house and I was like where's the food I got robbed well what we do here in cities is so recent and so unnatural it's not like anything that anybody else has ever done before in terms of like human beings up until about 10,000 years ago it's never been shit like this supermarkets and stuff like that yeah all of it and no interaction at all would nature right you know our interaction with nature is reserved to you know squirrels fucking pigeons and shitbirds yeah

► 01:34:00

a dog even fucking pigeons are weird they were brought over here is food no they were yeah they're everywhere you could kill you could eat pigeons they're delicious apparently I never had one I don't think a lot of people who like they look at they just don't look at pigeons as food now yeah most people yeah 99% of they have pigeon Seasons or actually maybe they don't have a season pigeons might be like wild pigs were there like they're considered invasive species and they're not supposed to be here they're not from here they brought him over here for squab you ever heard like squab when people eat squab nah squab is like a fancy word for a young pigeon right it's like lamb lamb is a fancy word for a young sheep how does a pigeon taste you had it right never had on never known everybody said how do you know that squirrel how is that is if someone told me it was chicken I would believe them oh for real yeah it tastes a lot like that which is a the most cliché shit to say ever

► 01:35:00

this house again how do you know if you catch a squirrel if it's rabbit on that it if you cook it you don't catch anything oh will you listen that's a good question I don't know the answer that maybe rabies would die at a certain temperature squirrels are not well ground squirrels I was going to say squirrels are not omnivores they're herbivores but ground squirrels I'm pretty sure eat meat because I've seen videos of ground squirrels eating a mouse all right they're fucked up it seems wrong anything eat the mouse is wrong like when you feed a mouse to a snake or some shit like that what's even more wrong because it's holding in his hands dogs and cats that are currently vaccinated and kept under observation for 45 days oh what if oh can you get rabies from eating squirrel small mammals such as squirrels rats mice hamsters guinea pigs gerbils Chipmunks rabbits and hares are almost never found to be infected with rabies okay and have not been known to cause rabies amongst humans the United States okay so rats can't give you rabies

► 01:36:01

that's interesting rat Eaton's about to go up Saul videos you could yo biting the head off of a rat it's fucking nasty what was biting the head off around guy I got it man we're an Asian man I don't chew in the whole fucking thing like right off an episode of Fear Factor Senators it was raw that's funny I think it was dead and you didn't see it moving before but I know it's funny you wouldn't have been able to do Fear Factor in certain countries there to be like where's the fair right and did like where is it well we eat that I got a lot of friends or Filipino specially back in when I was doing fearful because I was playing a lot of pool some of the best pool players are Filipinos it's huge and pool with pool rather but they were laughing at me because they serve balut they like we love balut elude is this weird duck embryo it's like a delicacy are there other people on Fear Factor were terrified of it and these people like no we pay for that right we like it yeah it's great

► 01:37:00

I look at those people waste in the balut well whatever it is they need to be canned everything man balut is weird it's a embryo it's like a little it's like a little baby duck it's very strange I wonder if you'd even be able to do Fear Factor today I mean I know ludicrous is still doing it but they're doing a different kind of version of it right have you watched one of those episodes just to stick it out no no that's like watching ex-girlfriend get banged that you really want to see the bank badly would you want us watch a get bang badly she's always better that's why it's weird to take over someones gig because someone did it for so long they had a certain style how they did it please Pimp My Fear Factor Ludacris right when like when who is who did Pimp My Ride it was a what's his name exactly yeah that's right yeah whatever happened to that dude

► 01:37:58

thank you still acting and doing stuff yeah he was the Pimp My Ride guy has a huge show how the fuck did that show go away that's you know that kills like yeah it feels like I could just never over yeah yeah that's like one of them pawnshop shows they never have to end yeah just keep pain and shit yeah do it in different countries yeah yeah yeah why would they handpick maybe exhibit was like done I can't deal with these people in their cars anymore they're making all those other shows there's tons of car shows now and all those other channels and benches yeah but that's the best name yeah Pimp My Ride that's the best name when you say that's the best most of those are undriveable why don't ya there's been a lot of like Reddit things or people like asking for like have you ever been up in my ride look tell us about your experience or whatever and like they did so much shit to those cars that would be like hey by the way when this is over go ahead and takes half that shit out so you can legally drive it down the fucking freeway if you would have every time but some of the times I had to do that if you have one of those cause now from Pimp My Ride to be a huge collectors item should be

► 01:38:58

worth a lot of money if you still kept it

► 01:39:01

I think they started bringing it back but you let me see here's an article what really happened in the cars from Pimp My Ride

► 01:39:11

I admire definitely member a couple of the guys said that they had to stay in contact with a few of their like in-house mechanics because they had to keep getting something fix right I believe that but they had to constantly drive back to Hollywood or whatever the fuck it was right that makes sense trying to find well a lot of those shows like my buddy buddy who's been on the podcast before he's to have that show fuck what was it called

► 01:39:38

who's that show where they would steal someone's car and and rebuild it with meant to make them think they're their car was stolen I can't remember his fucking show goddamn it was Chip Foose Chip Foose would would redesign their car and they would get this fucking amazing car the fuck was the name of that show but

► 01:39:59

Bud bratzman he used to have the show rides that was a show where they built my 1970 Barracuda and overall overhaul it that's it that's it shoutout to but and Adrian who's the host they would take a car and they do it in like a really short amount of time and then after it was over they would have to like tighten it all up and when they do a build a car they have a Shakedown period where like they driving for a few hundred miles to make sure there's nothing goes wrong everything's working right it's like this period of time to make sure that everything's dialed in they don't get a chance to do that in a week right so that's probably what they're talking about yeah this September I think I'm reading through it like some of the contestants said they had to dumb up like they had to completely just play the game of this as a TV show exaggerated let's dump a bunch of cigarette butts in your car to make it look shittier than it is hey when we show it to you please be fucking happy when you see this we can have a good reaction for TV kind of thing that's disappointing yeah goddamnit bit more

► 01:40:59

how dare you that's every show though yeah that's ever show any like like HG TV show oh yeah or just hoarders yeah we're gonna have to hold your place up even more probably right there like like Preppers those people probably make them extra crazy I haven't seen purpose was that about people were prepping for the apocalypse oh yeah yeah we know you're crazy but we're gonna make you look even crazier even down even crazier yeah I don't know man or intervention you know what's interesting to me it's typically right-wing people who are in favor of like if you think about any time someone passes a law that's bad for the environment right if they want to drill in Alaska if they want to do something over it's usually I mean it might be generalizing but usually thought to

► 01:41:59

right wing thing right right it's like more concern for business than concern for the environment right people that are on the left are the people that are always like the tree huggers those are the environmental so the people that are like radical environmentalists you would almost always think of as people being people on the left and right but the people that are prepping for shit going south are almost always on the right hmm the right-wing people the ones are prepping the world is solar to yeah those are the ones that carrying bullets and their fucking digging tunnels in their backyard you know what you're doing you know you destroying the Earth by digging for oil and all that shit but it's not them it's usually the bigwig right right the big but they're voting and they're in favor of all those decisions that the bigwigs yes make inadvertently because the bigwigs have connected themselves to Jesus right that's they did that's what the wise thing they did good fat old-fashioned family values and Jesus they figured a way to connect it

► 01:42:59

to a thing that everybody can argue against right the connected right wing ideology with God and left wing with a portion killing babies right The Lion The Sands been drawn in if you're prepping for the end of the world right you gotta secretly be hoping for the end of the world maybe a little bit of n because you try your shit yeah just to try your shit and to say I wasn't crazy right and wasting my time so you got to kind of be rooting for the end of the world like you don't want to you know do all that shit in vain right you know what I mean so that's kind of a weird Nest to those type of people that's a good point you know me like you started doing comedy and it's people like you're never going to make it you want to make it to be like you were wrong and to just the relief of knowing you are right well I think that's a problem with cops I think cops won't shoot people sometimes you have a gun and they almost won

► 01:43:59

someone to do something fucked up so they can shoot them not every cop not ever got every cop right but there are certain people that should not be cops right exact those people that become cops and it does happen and we all know and I'm a 100% support of law enforcement but even law enforcement they know it they don't want to be surrounded by some weak fuck who's also a cop who wants to shoot people right there's people out there that want to shoot people and you give them a gun if you give someone a hammer everything looks like a nail

► 01:44:25

it's amazing yeah I remember the video and this was a white cop shooting a white guy there is only one I think was in the hotel down the hall yeah that guy that guy's like how did he become a cop how did he not go to jail yes they let him off the hook for that one they always kind of let them off the hook there giving a slap on the wrist just get them out of here in the instructions he was given this guy was telling them to keep your hands away from your waist because his pants were falling yeah and Hispanic guy was saying that to him too yeah and he's just crying and crawling towards him like helplessly the guy reaches because his pants fell down and grabs a hold of his pants to pull him up like that fills his back up with bullets him shoot him in the back on the floor crawling because of no threat was yellin making the situation even more chaotic he's also telling the guy to do something why are you making a move just tell him to lie down yes put his hands behind his back you handcuffed them and then not he was ordering the got to crawl towards him yeah it doesn't make sense

► 01:45:25

the did you see this video earlier this week this is from July 1st yes yeah the guy is crazy this is crazy this is what's called suicide by cop this guy was coming towards this cop screaming with a knife in the cop was begging him to please stop please stop this is after they already shot of Jamie I know but meanwhile he wants up tackle in this fucking guy this is what's crazy this guy's already been shot and he turns on this cop and tackles him right here tackled him look at this because filled with bullets and the guys reaching for his gun oh sure he gets his back and he takes him down and then this is - he's got the knife anymore does he yeah I don't know I can't tell what if it's in his hand right there it's hard to see did you see the video of the black cop walking towards the guy with the machete

► 01:46:10

yes I did see that and just like walked right into it and just parried and flipped him over yeah yeah it was crazy that is crazy I saw another one Eddie Bravo sent me of a was not a cop one but do two dudes are having a conversation that's god's got his hand behind the back and he pulls a knife out of his pocket and God doesn't even see any just in the middle of the conversation just stick some in the stomach the guys stand there he moves back and he's like holding a stomach you can't believe it and the guy comes towards him again follows him and the guy who got stabbed ones up knocking the dude out because coming towards him with a knife again saying I'll stab you again the guy hits one to left hook rocks him and hit him with the right hand and knocks him out and he's a regular dudes regular dudes looks like regular dudes but the dude who got stabbed knew how to fight luckily for him but he still might die stomach that is fucking very dangerous man

► 01:47:02

very dangerous

► 01:47:05

yeah what we talking about what are you doing just looking at some kind of find the video that guy getting stabbed yeah let's not this is so much there's just so much a lot of shit so much to just freak you out

► 01:47:18

Shadow I don't even look at some of the bad stuff anymore a lot of it yeah like like I saw at the beginning of that video when it came out like last week yeah you're watching this it's like turned it off yeah you can't watch that yeah there's so many videos you'll get convinced that that's happening everywhere in the world for hours a day it'll fuck your head yeah exactly yeah yeah God damn it it's easy to get freaked out yeah I mean there's a lot of freaky bullshit out there

► 01:47:52

there is this is as good a spot as any to talk about this we I want to make sure I clarify something because there are some there was an operation this is a guy who is a billionaire Diamond guy who want up getting a dick enlargement operation and he died because the anesthesia and it was in another country and we pulled out we were saying somehow or another it got connected to this company that does that in the United States it had nothing Phenom phenomenal yeah the article I had said like he was getting a similar surgery and that this one the one only the Putnam only happens in the US but he was getting something done in Europe so it was like different well they reached out to me to explain first of all the guy died from anesthesia you can get anise you could die from anesthesia from any operation that nothing to do with the the penis enlargement operation to use the more correct term dick enlargement but he didn't die from that and that's just the same

► 01:48:51

as getting your nose fixed or getting your knee meniscus operated on her it's just the any surgery where you have anesthesia carries a certain amount of risk but apparently this dick thing works they actually can grow your dick bigger now well if you risking your life well you don't work well you risking your life if you go to the dentist yeah I don't know what you wonder like anytime you get put under right if you if you if you anything you're doing with anesthesia there's a very small chance that something could go wrong but I had nothing to do with this dick operation so I just wanted to make sure that people know that if you look this up I don't want anything any incorrect assumptions to be out there and I carry no ill will towards this these people that make this and apparently it works so I just want everybody to know that it carry no ill will towards this company that makes dick's bigger apparently it actually it's a weird thing right like a for a man to do that there's certain taboos that are involved in

► 01:49:51

even admitting that you have an issue like a little dick is a weird thing right because it's one of the rare things that's unfortunate that you can make fun of right like you can't make fun of a little person like if you make fun of a person who's a you know you're not supposed to call the midgets right so-called little people right to make fun of a person who's a dwarf or a little person you're a cruel person right but if you make fun of a guy with a little dick like ski deserve some time he deserves it or some shit that's weird thing that women are allowed to do like you're allowed to make fun of dudes having little decks or should there should be something in the same vein yes to protect the world what evil World from cruelty but because if you have a little pussy that's fantastic yeah but he's excited about yeah isn't that crazy what a weird situation but a big dick is a sign of virility all right so we salute you Panama that's the name of company we salute you for helping men

► 01:50:51

I've larger dicks here and I almost died from anesthesia went I thought you were going to say from a dick life back what happened when I was like a teenager and and here's the irony I was going in for an operation that you're supposed to go in in the morning and leave in the afternoon oh it's just a quick thing and then it was literally for a circumcision I was like you are getting a circumcision yeah what were you doing I just had sex with this girl like I was a kid like seven like say 18 and and somehow it pulled the skin of my dick back I couldn't get it back oh nothing that to clean it and I couldn't get the skin back right over so then I spent like an entire night with like a roar boner

► 01:51:48

wow with no skin covering it so I went to the doctor then he got it back over and he said you should get a circumcision so one time operation you just go in and you have to worry about this shit happening again but it only happened once right yeah but we were furiously beating off though right what you mean no no I just had pulled skin Back Lean in to clean it yeah officer I was cleaning the gun when it shot my neighbor now it's clean it if they were shit under there hmm yeah so then I went in and they gave me the anesthesia and then when I woke up there was like a hose down my throat and people are frantic around me and it was like night time is way past time I supposed to come back come to and the the anesthesia gave me the monia ended up spending like to one-and-a-half to two weeks in the hospital and the first few days was in intensive care

► 01:52:48

yeah wow is anesthesia I did not like wake up holy shit yeah he almost died getting your dick operated on yeah just I was almost at guy and but for the most part listen you talking to someone who's had a bunch of surgeries I've had my nose fixed I've had my arm broken my hands I've had my knees operated on three times I've had three knee surgeries I've been put under quite a few times it's mostly safe yeah it's really about the anesthesiologist hey Jamie did somebody at the door to try to figure out okay why is he doing that wander around like he's got a plan

► 01:53:31

I've no idea this is the chair that you must be hanging out up there today I don't know people weird man you never know you know when you get an Uber do you know that they how much background do they do on a uber so I was trying to explain to me you asked me the other day I was like to get the like approval on your app to be like yes this car can drive Uber is one thing but once you have that anybody you know can be behind that they don't like scan your face when you're in the car every time or anything like that just yeah I got the Uber bro use it you know so if you and I got an Uber like icon your over and I could drive around to pretend I'm you you could get caught sure but like people definitely do that alright but how many people get caught driving an Uber no not fucking nun yeah right right whoever saw that coming Rideshare being at member when you were a kid and I was kid taxis Whoever thought man I could have my own taxi these two have a shit called Gypsy taxis and they would arrest those people yeah in New York yeah yeah they would arrest them for try to do the Uber thing

► 01:54:28

why don't they get it Uber why would they be a Gypsy Cab by bucks this is before that it was a year and I lived in New York that some insane number of gypsy cab drivers got murdered in say no for real it was something like 40 plus in a year got murdered so it was almost one a week they were killing Gypsy cab drivers they would Rob them and kill him did they ever catch that guy I don't know if it was just the one behind those people they were there were just deciding that these Gypsy cab drivers I think this was you know point we're talking like probably like 1990s 1992 or some shit like that like there was no there was no internet and there was I don't know people were paying ever with credit cards not all-cash all-cash yeah so if you're a Gypsy Cab Driver they saw you as being someone who had a wad of cash on you and then you can't report it to the police because you're a Gypsy Cab Driver so you shouldn't even be doing it yeah but they would just kill him but it's if you're a criminal yeah it's a great crime yeah

► 01:55:28

it's a smart crime like I'm going to rob somebody that shouldn't be doing what they're doing for a living so they can't really report them report to the police that I'm robbing you yeah but they would shoot him and Kim work the thing is they would just shoot him in the head and Shipment has like they would be considered like maybe these people were illegals maybe these people didn't have a lot of documentation maybe when they killed them it would be a dead end because I wouldn't know what to do maybe they were here by themselves maybe they figure the cops don't care about they would definitely the cops don't care yeah and you know because it's cash and because it's not it's there's no meter all right so this is like there's no record of everything right how much do you find it in a Lot quickly just Google it there was one I found a story for New York Times 1983 there's a weekend where 11 people were murdered but the store just has a story of one guy that was found in the front seat of a Gypsy Cab murdered could have been out shot could have been dyed it was the 1990s it was the 1990s it was definitely why we moved there I think I moved to New York and

► 01:56:28

91 I think I live for their from 91 I've lived back and forth in 92 he's just away from 1990 1/6 cabbie has slain in the Bronx but it's New York Times it's just a ball thing yeah just one was killed yeah I think there was a there was a long stretch where it started to become a big deal but it's I mean if there was 40 Wall Street guys murdered murders Italian 1990s originated

► 01:56:57

the creation of pirate taxes kind of the article about its 1980 driver since 1980 drivers have lost their lives while on duty in the streets which averages more than two per month wow that's crazy I'm not that's regular guy I don't know I don't know either might just be cab drivers but because Gypsy Cab drives how do you prove that guy was a Gypsy Cab Driver just got a dead guy in a car with a bullet in the back of the head right and then you have to ask his friends was this guy Gypsy Cab driving maybe it was a certain style of car to because so that passengers could identify it as a Gypsy Cab so that they could take it right and it's like if you're taking a Gypsy Cab you have limited amount of money and you don't want to pay a cab but you want to get to where you're going to have to be identifiable here it is cabbies risk death daily in New York jungle Under Siege crime hours are long in the mortality rate high so far this year 32 taxi drivers have been killed by armed robbers posing as customers yeah I think that's just regular taxi drivers

► 01:57:57

yeah that's a rough gig man yeah now when we were living in New York imagine if just now you go there it's just who buries everywhere everybody zubrin everybody's just using their phone stand out like the comedy store has become a fucking disaster trying to get yes that's a pain in the ass and they just pull up and block the driveway they don't give a fucking no one stops them yeah and they're just going in there left and right but just blocking everything dropping people off picking people up yeah it's never ending you can never get in there it's weird it's like a new thing that no one saw coming

► 01:58:31

what could be that like let's let's play Gary Vee here what's next what could what could we get on the front lines of something like that scooter stuff is crazy right there's like a one-year pilot program or think they're calling it for Los Angeles County that's why they're more and more of popped up I think they're just sort of saying figure we're going to do a year figured out no one is going to be like taken down for doing this for like they were trying and Santa Monica to get rid of them for a minute in the bird scooters and whatnot they've ramped it up completely there's all sorts of electronic bikes now there's at least I want to say six or seven different companies just in Hollywood where I live they're just everywhere laying all over the sidewalks but that's what we're trying to figure out is how do you leave them around where you going to leave them is it successful I don't know how much taxes they're paying and how like how much money the city gets brought in but yeah I don't mind them but it's just dangerous walking it is I was walking down the street one day and I was about to just you know you just walk in but you just change your stride a little bit to go to the right and I almost got hit

► 01:59:31

I won and it was coming fast and I'm like this the sidewalk you know what I mean like you could be serious asked a me problem in La is that you're supposed to be on the street with those it says do not ride his on the sidewalk but it is a hundred percent not safe to be on the streets of LA on those because people are getting run over and I don't know if anybody's died but I like downtown LA somebody driving 50 miles an hour ran over someone on a sidewalk or on scooter like why the fuck you driving so fast downtown also well this people that are crazy hit-and-runs happen anyway they happen all over the place and then there's assholes you know people going to shoot cab drivers are going to run over scooter drivers yeah they're everywhere though it's weird to see them and they've started a band them in certain places right some neighborhoods have tried like West Hollywood you kind of can't let I think I think there's City's west side with City yeah but I mean outside of California I mean other cities have said no more you know Vegas you can't no fucking way could you have a Vegas

► 02:00:31

drunk people right yeah oh my God drunk people on scooters Humana shave drunk drunk people on scooters and drunk people driving while you're on a scooter

► 02:00:40

yeah let's fuck because we'd now we'd yeah how good was Vegas it was a good time good time yeah we just want you just had me thinking about what could be next oh yeah what could be next like if we didn't see scooters coming we didn't see overcoming what could be the next what do we what do we need what do we need we need protection from the ocean the ocean is going to rise up and take us it's good we're mounting the ice caps gonna fucking we're gonna have to move to Tucson boats making more subways here right now yeah they're going to fill up with water what a good news there's a gonna be canals and now they will use those for the toilet working a 2090 yeah we're gonna throw our shit down those tubes like I wonder man mean there were some shit that I was reading today about the ice caps melting at an accelerated rate it's always it's never good news whenever the it's like ice cap melting news like hey we just found out we actually have more ice than we thought we're good all right

► 02:01:40

don't worry about it does that mean Vegas can get water now no they just gets their water figure they figured out there's so much money in Vegas they just steal it what are they get it from a hole in the ground no idea is there a well out there all I know they got good water pressure and every Hotel I've ever been in this wonderful yeah look that's a human Ingenuity and the building more shit yeah and if the ice caps do melt it'll just bring it closer to Vegas right Vegas to use it yeah the water will be like real close yeah I mean we just move inside to the middle like this is what people have been doing forever this idea that you're supposed to be able to keep your fucking house on the water in Santa Monica Merson crazy I know yeah yeah sorry build a house with a beach is your front yard that is so not think those Cliffs were always there there's this shit was different decades before so keep on thinking is going to be like that all the time you have you buy like a Seaside house in like Marina Del Rey or someone really nice your get making a gamble like

► 02:02:40

the next I'm only going to be alive for 40 more years right over those years I'm going to let's let's hope all right that this water stays over there exactly stays put let's hope Mother Nature yeah does what I want it to do yeah I just I'm going to spend seven million dollars and this fucking house with literally no backyard it's just ocean I'm just gonna hope it stays like yeah I just can't wait till my crib becomes beachfront property and then I could sell it I've rented a beach house a couple of years ago when my kitchen I was getting my kitchen fixed and we rented this house in Malibu on the water it was beautiful man you just you'd wake up he eat breakfast damn just be sitting there staring out over the water and the water would literally come almost underneath

► 02:03:26

the balcony so it looked like you were sitting in water if you were floating and while we've drawn a boat I was like wow this is so beautiful it's so amazing makes you feel so good yeah those being by the ocean what a gamble yeah even though it's the best like you sound like that's the ultimate infinity pool yeah you know I'm saying right yeah I don't mind like La Jolla you have the condo right by the beach and and and you go to sleep at night you can hear the ocean your waiter but then I'll be like what if it's this is the night this is the night where you know comes in here

► 02:04:04

just takes the building down and rushes it out there mountains I mean that's happened so many times in history yeah all it takes is a earthquake or an asteroid hits the ocean oh yeah yeah my God if an asteroid hit the ocean if we wouldn't even be safe here we wouldn't be safe we'd probably wouldn't be safe in Arizona it would go deep into Arizona of asteroid hit the fucking ocean just outside of Malibu mmm just a big one everybody in the midwest be laughing they'd be laughing all right I say we had the best property all the time yeah so we had a duck hurricanes mmm they have the scary shit I think tornadoes are the scariest shit those things are so random and they happen every year right every year it's not like earthquakes happen every year a hurricane you can track you know it's coming you can prepare you could just leave a tornado is just like did show up hey man I'm here yeah that's the scariest

► 02:05:03

here but that's just something that people deal with when they easy they wipe out entire towns yeah wipe they take towns off the map I feel like they just always aim for these small towns well I think it has to do with the with agriculture if I'm right I think it has to do with like flat areas and the type of weather that they have and I don't think they take place in areas where there's a lot of trees and forests is that true it's more like they don't really happen in cities right as the heat structure and it creates like up the for the pressure air pressure starts it's a hot cold air pressure system that kind of starts world so because of the artificial concrete and all those stuff that's why tornadoes almost protect above it does happen in cities from time to time or like on the outskirts but like it's very rare to see one roll through a downtown but does one ever go through like Colorado yeah the mountain one up here as well as you're seeing trees I got video of one like just ripping trees up in Texas so like

► 02:06:04

but it doesn't mostly - for sure I'm flying Texas has mm yeah yeah well Texas Texas is a lot of crazy wind it's so close to Oklahoma Oklahoma is like tornado so I saw her on there there was one that was on TV that was mad it was hitting this area where they had these Oil Trucks and it was carrying the semi trucks in the air I don't know if they're loyal trucks there semis like can't like a you know like a 16-wheeler like fucking Trucking like that it was flying in a circle in the sky like a fucking newspaper you know news page from a newspaper gets caught in the winds and flying around this this fucking tornado was carrying trucks like that Missouri earlier this year mmm I don't see it that's roughly new stuff yeah but there's a video of the L that's it right there that's the video this is a video where you see look at this why you see

► 02:07:03

trucks as they get closer and you can see inside the fucking thing that is a truck flying in a circle if this is the same video

► 02:07:14

I don't know if that's it now that's that's the semi after I lands mean that might not have even been it but it was one where it's probably so many fucking tornado videos but it was one where these trucks were literally flying around in a circle like it was carrying this gigantic semi and just floating it in the air like a paper airplane was it from Twister though was it some fake footage no no it's real it's real some news footage from television he was like then it's hard to catch that caused all these are just already on the ground yeah nose in the from a distance with there was some news footage anyway yes we're fucking rambling speaking around with Ian Edwards family special oh yeah when's it coming out Friday at midnight on Comedy Central oh shit why did you decide to do it in that style is kind of interesting you did like a TED talk because there's so many specials out there and I get to do my material when I do it that way but

► 02:08:15

add a little twist on an extra layer to it and that'll make people be more interested in it than if I was just going to do like just a regular stand up that's what you clever bastard let once in a while I gotta I dare you know saying and you got the microphone a regular microphone just sitting on the stool in case you change your mind well the last bit I use the mic notice that yeah good yeah the last bit I do with the mic what is in your hand the clicker

► 02:08:45

because because you have some of the topics on the screen like just like a TED Talk and he talked you clicked thing picture represents what you're talking about and then you keep on going I know I've seen people do that before with with with TED talks and I've always thought that would be a good thing with common oh well yeah because like even when you look at your stand-up you take on a topic you dissect it and you give people on Alternate view of that topic just like a tech tongue and then you move on to the next one so like Comics like you and me and other people it's the perfect format for our stand-up yeah are you doing that when you do when you headline we do headlining gig no no maybe you should maybe I thought about doing that all right yeah you did yeah I did I thought about it at one point in time but I'm too lazy yeah then you yeah like I don't have merch or anything so I don't bring in much I don't want to have to make sure they have a screen or transport one and all that shit then

► 02:09:45

then it gets cumbersome well I heard that Kevin Hart at one point in time had pyrotechnics like you hit a punchline but damn 20-foot tall Flames shoot through the sky in arenas and like man that's when that's you add to the stand up right it's like props but way better right like I feel like props are the rare one of the rare things where you can't do anymore because carrot-top owns that whereas when I was a kid man there was prop comedian yeah there was a lot of them right Jamie don't know about it yeah it's from a lot of ventriloquist and some people that were doing the little prop things but yet no one really had that truck full of dead be the comic that show up to the mic yeah with a briefcase yeah and then afterwards he has to gather stuff like a stripper yeah they have to his giant duffel bag yeah yeah it was a guy that was he was really funny man a guy and

► 02:10:45

Austin these to do that fuck I'm blanking on his name but he had glasses and he had a real similar kind of act he but it was kind of like science-based he had a bunch of weird shit that he would call Alex Derby nope okay no it was a long time ago yeah we seen chips Cooney chips Cooney I've heard the name yeah he had props but he he was a fake magician really so like remember the name of that Tupperware that's right that's right expanded yeah it's like that was one of his tricks it's just all goofballs it but he was funny like you know and then pull it out that's the trick and just keep going on to the next goofy thing there was a guy named Lenny Schultz and he haven't but never crazy Lenny uh-huh yeah he had a bunch of props here I watched Steve Burns documentary on the amazing Jonathan that he's put out is really good was it yeah I like I was a younger kid I liked him just because of his zany crazy right shit he did but watch the documentary is awesome so I'm doing it what is it yes shout out to Steve Byrne what is it

► 02:11:45

the about like he lived in excess yeah it's definitely about that sort of like his rise and maybe I'd say fall but then sort of how he came back and was died it's a lot of to about this fan that became his manager and sort of he helped him and guided him along and apprenticed him a little bit and just about the relationship and what footage together and it's just interesting he's an interesting guy wow yeah those guys from the fucking 80s when hard man that was the kinnison era you know yeah if you want to be a wild man you had a missing card yeah Coca-Cola snort coke on stage he's just like Foie make a joke about it it's supposed to be fake Coke but he's really really doing it like a lot so he made a bit yeah huh that was not a prop that's that's real shit yo I bet people have done a lot of Weasley shit like that like just put something into their act they'll pull something off you know

► 02:12:43

I got would think like I said one of the cool things about comedy is also one of the weirder things that it's so open ended like the club just like you get book to the bray improv right right you show up like what's up being how are you man you know you like hey this is my opening act they shake hands everybody's cool they don't even ask you what you're going to talk about right they got everybody sitting there people paid money they sold tickets they sold drinks and they have not a clue as to what you're going to discuss and you just go up there and say whatever the fuck you want Merica love it crazy yeah what a weird way to make lemon and then you do the same thing for like a TV show or something you have to type it out yeah send it to them I got look at it that's the beautiful thing about Netflix Netflix didn't say shit they just said hey we want to do we want to do a special with you I said great all right let's do it I said okay let's do it

► 02:13:37

it was that easy we did it and they said okay great you did it we like it we put it up boom I had to send Comedy Central a proof-of-concept yeah like I had to shoot the set like in a small Club send it to them and they're like all right okay yeah well the good news is they proved rights on TV and a special is always in my opinion really just an advertisement to get people to come see you right exactly live right so I'm glad the advertisements out oh yeah me too I've said it before I'll say it again while you hear you won the best comics in the world the shore listen I so many times people come up to me Rogan was talking about you like I don't you have to be on the show like I like Rogan's talking about you it's so like people will come up come to a show because you just spoke about me but it's true oh man you and I have been friends for 20 what 28 years yeah shit something crazy yeah it's a long fucking time

► 02:14:37

you've always been one of the best comics in the world you know and I think right now you too brother your new shit man oh yeah you doing this not even the special day I was crying this weekend egg is that new thing that I want to say that God damn it's good it's really good man I love that you know I love the transition between when someone does a special to writing and working on new stuff and then you just get this new angles and and having to write shit like I've been trying to tell this to Bobby Lee who's another God is one of the best comics in the world and I fucking shame that Bobby Lee doesn't have a special and he doesn't you know it's like he's thing is like when I left I won't be able to use that in that material exactly like yeah but you'll write better stuff you'll be forced to I think he's shooting a special yes he's talking about yeah because he asked me who directed mine sucks wait Miss Bobby about to shoot a special but he'll see

► 02:15:32

how what you've seen and what I'm seeing now that how great it is to like come up with a new set of material with all their feelings first yes very terrified yeah I've had some some amazing medial cassette Jesus I feel bad I know when you first tried out new stuff it's like you don't know yeah he's just don't know and then you said something the other day when I was in Vegas he was talking to Ali like was all in the back after the show about how you had a joke that was new it was working you wrote it it's new is working and then you broke it by over fixing it yeah you have to take shit back out and that's happened to me during this new set of material to I started a joke created it and then broke it I overdoing stuff to it then I have to like figure out what part that I put in there that through off and take it out and fix it back well it's always interesting to talk

► 02:16:31

someone that's really just a few years in a comedy because then you kind of go over your own process and think about it more yeah the one of the things that happens in Jiu-Jitsu is in Jiu-Jitsu you get better when you teach real strange like a lot of guys that wind up getting a job teaching Jiu-Jitsu to like beginners there just gets who jumps the jumps up several notches it's really interesting and I think sometimes that happens with commie so when we're dealing with something like a leash out tally Makowski yeah our friend Allie she's only been doing comedy for what four years around that somewhere around for five years and she's just coming into her own and she's what was she twenty-two twenty-two or twenty-three twenty-two or twenty-three very funny very promising and she was going to come down and watch us because she came to San Diego to watch when Tony and Andrew and I did that that giant Arena down there because she's because she opens up for me all the time at the Improv The Comedy Store she's getting to be around all these assassins and she's getting

► 02:17:31

see it from the outside but that was her first time opening and I was like excuse she said she was gonna come down to watch the said you want to do a second just like I was secretly hoping you would ask that's right my Goose up so she opened she did 10 minutes in front of you know it's like 1,200 people it's a lot of people write for her first big show in Vegas on a Friday night she murdered and she did a good she did great yeah super relaxed and but when you talking to someone who's up-and-coming like that I love that I love it I love talking to like Jesus haesu's Trio or like you know Frank Castillo or any of these young guys coming up because you get a chance to talk to them about how you formulate stuff and I compare notes and sometimes they have interesting ways that they do it but I never considered you know and sometimes people have interesting ways of thinking about their mentality to think about it when they go walk their dog they'll play they're set in their ear or they'll you know when they go on Hikes they'll just go on a hike and think about one joke try to work the joke out while they're hiking if I found out yeah

► 02:18:31

I learned a lot from by talking to younger Comics 2 so I get that completely you also the thing is happening to you right now is the thing that happens to them I'll accept the fact that you're far more skilled at it it's like they're trying to put together an act but you've already done it many many times the already put out specials and record so they want you doing this it's like you know how to write jokes you're always right new jokes you've been doing comedy forever but it's still you're starting from jump yeah when you start from zero from Ground Zero like and then you try to put together an act you hope people want to pay to see that's a terrifying spaz terrifying yeah and then there was a part of it in this new set of material that I was doing wrong like like just this style of joke that I was writing and I just felt off like even when some of the bits were working and then I was in Atlanta a few weeks ago and then it just hit me what I was doing wrong I was you the Laughing Skull yeah I was gonna laugh instead of bass yeah so dope as close to help little red and it's a great room to go headlining

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in your like got new material yeah you need to just work out yeah I say about those rooms like the belly room and like the Laughing Skull like that's where you find out what's bullshit yeah and I found out what was bullshit sure because sometimes you can like song and dance your way through 300-seat room yeah trick them like enough people start laughing to get the other people laughing but and then you'll kind of go along with it and with your delivery and you can kind of make funny out of it but I know momentum with 70 people yeah you have to like really make them laugh it's got to be real yeah was 70 people you got you know I did Jeremiah walking show stand-up on the spot on Tuesday that's the best example that because you're all so they're yelling out subjects right you don't see just get to you find out if I and but that also like constructing a new set what's interesting about it is that you get a chance to figure something out and make

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real would like Bobby Lee's doing right now is working with tried-and-true material tried and proven he kills every night knows it's going to kill if it didn't kill he be stunned right he be like what my shit I've been killing this for four years he knows what he's doing hey he's just a funny machine so if I don't know how to describe it just as just him he's just a funny ass fucking yeah so funny and people don't not enough people know because most people know him from podcast and that helps for sure and from television shows that helps for sure but there needs to be something people can see of his stand-up yeah so we're getting them he's listening it's like he's a slow but he listened right take a little time he listens getting in there it's getting it next to good hey still good the other ones Owen Smith yeah yeah so it's myth good yeah to good has his own style fucking funny he's a murderer yeah man he's a top-flight headliner yeah like a good headliner like a top of the food chain headline yeah like if someone told me

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Owen Smith was selling out Arenas I'd be like good should been happening a long time exactly yes you know and as much as Kevin Hart or fucking fill-in-the-blank whoever can sell out giant-ass places Owen Smith's material is as good as it belongs in those places hundred percent 100% and sometimes these guys they just don't do they don't do enough road work or they don't do not there they got riding jobs or something takes them off the path where people don't necessarily see they do a lot of acting yeah it's all different little paths that kind of deviate you away from from stand upright and I think I went to doctor went down that path when I was on Fear Factor oh yeah and I was on fear fact I didn't really tore much you know it was mostly just being around La because it was were filming so much Wright-Phillips so many episodes and you guys traveled a lot to different places yeah that's it is exhausting man exhausting yeah and it was exhausting to because you be filming all day

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out in the Heat and then you would come back and you know after that I would do stand-up at night and I'm just like I'm just gonna just do the store and then go home right I wasn't going to travel anywhere I mean I did a little bit but not much so it's like things can be good where it's like it's great to have a good gig right but things those things can be bad because it ultimately takes you away from your stand-up man Louie CK said that to me once he was in the period after he stopped doing a show just stop doing it for a while and I said I haven't done anything other than stand up for a year and I said well wouldn't what made you do that he goes I just wanted to really concentrate on stand up he said I don't think you could be at your best while you do other things right he goes I think you can be good but I think at your best you really have to just do stand-up yeah I think he's right always right even if you don't do much in that day and if you just write one line or one tag or something mmm as this it just counts so much towards the whole thing and by the end of the year

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where you where you end up is going to be way further than you would have been I think it's not an even formula though because I do think that there's some value in taking some time and doing things as well right there's like take this value in like vacations yeah this value and experiences yeah and then there's also you have to do a lot of stand-up this is like both things are true because if you only do stand-up one of the things it does happen is guys lose their pointer references all right because their whole life revolves around traveling so you get a lot of airplane chokes right and it revolves around drinking because people drink it clubs and you don't have enough experiences yeah you got to live a little yes to put it on the paper yeah stage you gotta live a little I think that's that's something that gets missed but it's like it's not a perfect formula it's also like how much enthusiasm do you have like sometimes the more enthusiasm like it when you have you feel good about it when you take time off and it makes you better all right you just have to know it's just like an athlete like like in England the soccer season is over

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right hmm so the soccer players go on vacation but while they're on vacation you got to get in the month or so you got to get back to training in a month or so but you can't go back to camp out of shape so it is a point where you have to be with a trainer while you're kind of off for the season getting in shape so that when you go to Camp you're not out of shape and you losing your spot on it is this this is a this is a delicate balance of everything yeah that makes sense and also so insanely competitive right so many people lined up ready take your spot yeah you can't get fat when you're on vacation it's always comedies like when you shoot a special and then the guy that couldn't follow you is killing because he still has his material that he's been had and you're like not doing as good because you're working on shit it kind of It kind of fucks with me a little bit yeah you know what I mean

► 02:25:31

the competitiveness of sure and then as we're hey man this is just the natural order of things just keep doing what you're doing and everything is going to be fine you'll figure it out you're growing again you don't wrong with that whenever new bits come to life and they start to really work I go okay it's just trusting the process yes what happens you trust the process keep grinding but you have to do that if there's no if you don't put in that time if you just decide oh I need a new act but you don't work on it you're not going to just show up you have to you have to make that that process is a real thing right and there's going to be some sets just jamming fish Fisher like yeah like yeah you take one old joke going on stage and this butter well if we will add to it but one thing is true for sure for me you sent when someone like you is writing new stuff and that new stuff kills like last weekend that makes me excited about right now

► 02:26:31

should I go home I got there it's out there I gotta find it I gotta find the bits right there out there look he just found two giant juicy man you know giant juicy like someone coming back from a fishing trip I'll get the size that tuna I'm going to an efficient killer is out there is out there there's gold in San Francisco yes go dig it it's gold in them thar Hills I always see you go find new material so it's always good like like we both had new shit this weekend yeah and were enthusiastic about it and exciting about it so it adds a different level to just going out to do a show that we would normally do when we get to talk about it afterwards with the excitement of how I knew the material is and and how it's coming along and I just that's that's a level of fun right there you don't experience unless you're out there right now and growing yeah there's no other way around it and I think that's a metaphor for life I think the people that get stagnant and life the things because you're not taking any chances you're not doing anything new you're not growing yeah you got a mean and artistically with stand-up is one of the rare art forms where you can

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and not do the old stuff they don't mean maybe if you Jim Gaffigan people want to hear Hot Pockets but they also want to hear our a new shit right you may be sure Bert Kreischer they want to hear the machine story he says they get mad if you don't he doesn't tell the patient's tells the machine stories take your shirt off they get mad at his clothes what he starts taking his pants off and then just put them back on hey fucking pants on why are you pants on bro how dare you were all partying it's free that'd be his new shirt party and pants free hilarious yeah party with no pants or partying pants free party pants are these pants for you yeah Bert Kreischer there you go that's the name you knew special party and pants free just you fat as fuck with boxer shorts talking shit about sober October reality white just go all in yeah but boxer shorts when he moves funny is dick hole will open up a little bit get a peer well how about your Speedos how about Bert on stage of Speedos on Speedos don't seem like a comfort move

► 02:28:31

seems like a bad decision yeah that's not someone who really want their dick to be caressed and cradled he doesn't like punishing your deck looking fucking it's like you're it's like a tent in a storm and nailing it down punishment or showing it off right yeah you've got a hog yeah yeah getting a penis enlargement 5 Speedos yeah just put just take your circumcised dick and pull it all the way down so it's a full erection hey man and then put a ring a rubber ring around the base of the balls to contract all the blood constrict all the blood yeah that's a weird thing that someone figured that out right cock rings yeah hmm how do I how do I stay hard here it's got to be a way to put a rubber band and crazier dick Viagra yeah yikes yeah that's a one thing that if they do ever come out I used to have a bit about that if they ever come up with a pill for how to like a boner or a dick enlargement pill if that actually works

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it'd be 30 seconds later the first do would die of an overdose oh yeah I'm not gonna just take one you're gonna find out how many give me a stroke how big one one Jesus Christ yeah I had a hole there was a whole sequence where women would evolve because people just sex but the dicks would get bigger and then man would develop these flying squirrel species they would just jump off cliffs to get away from dudes who are chasing after them with their big dicks and shopping carts Solaria The Grow Wings why women growing wings just a fad so people could mate yeah yeah if you could grow a big like have you ever watched a porn and said that's just too much yeah yeah yeah it's like is of comes a certain point time we're like how big do you want your arms right yes you want a big arm or do you want to arm where the bicep touches your fingers when you go like this all right do you want that you can't even move yeah that's crazy it's too big yeah right that means that means you can never do this let's do anything like this now they probably

► 02:30:31

even walk yeah you just too heavy you probably waddle and everywhere you go you weigh 600 pounds and your 5/8 how the fuck you doing that right there's a size too much you can get too much you can get too much Deck but this but I bet it's like it too much I bet it's those girls who get body dysmorphia with their breasts are yes Jim girls go crazy like they have tripoli's and they need them an F they get nuts it's crazy they don't see it like the way you're saying it that's how it happens with anorexics bodybuilders yeah yeah that is goddamn bananas it is the dick thing is it's a weird one right yeah that would definitely it's definitely going to happen since women overdo it with the burst size like you say they can't see how weird it looks that's a normal thing with humans yeah have you seen those guys that injector or mussels with oil it makes their muscles swell up like balloons it looks so fake

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they don't see it there it's body dysmorphia yeah thing that an anorexic gets and they don't recognize that there there look like a skeleton when was at the airport in Vegas and waiting for your pool thing there was this chick and she had like a weird but poor girl and it wasn't real and you could tell only she didn't know that it didn't look real she probably thought it looked amazing right yeah she's walking around with like button every confidence yeah that big yeah yeah people get strange because the but thing is treated differently than the boob thing like a woman with really large fake breasts is still hot yes but a woman with really large fake but it's like come on yeah that's comes off crazier yeah and fake lips it's another one that's crazy too yeah and we have rules

► 02:32:24

it's weird

► 02:32:26

yeah fake lips is like what am I supposed to do just pretend this is not happening in front of me right now well it's also a fucks with your apparently we have a when we see a certain person when see people's faces we have an expectation to where things are going to be based on where things are right it's all like the Fibonacci sequence like the golden ratio the way your face is designed like like Ari shaffir if Ari shaffir had a tiny nose you'd like what is wrong with your face your face is Red Seven big nose this is like how your style of face yeah supposed to come with that style of notes yeah right if it doesn't it's weird but at then you look at a guy like Greg Fitzsimmons is a little nose you know if he had our he's knows he's like what is that knows doing on your face right crazy it's like you fuck with that when you do something to make something bigger or wider or you know with with your face you know people get tattoos and different things like suppose people start enlarging areas of their face you just like getting big ears

► 02:33:26

big a noses crew would have big ears coming to face Dumbo ears yeah well how about those holes where people stretched they do those images and they pull their fucking ear hole out the put it that earring hole at the bottom make it giant yeah like a hoop that's bananas yeah like what are you doing here here's yeah like I don't want to fuck up the chance of me not being able to hear some shit I don't think it does I'll take it it's just I'm not doing anything personally that that's close to anything that I need I need this for what I need this for I'm not going to do anything to it that might jeopardize it in any way I always feel like that about cauliflower ear to the go to all the years that I did you just do I don't have cauliflower ear because I always worry regards right it's like if you fuck with the shape of your ear it fucks with the way sound goes in there like like take your ear and then talk go blah blah blah now put your tip the tips of your fingers

► 02:34:26

on the top of your ear and then fold them down lalalalalalala it changes the way sounds on you change the sound like this helps in sound these are speakers yabbos right you know Zach yeah a fucking with your boat your fucking when your bows it's the shape nature figured out a shape to collect all that sound and and get it inside your ear holes yeah but when you're outside of your ears like a rock like a lot of these wrestlers and Jiu-Jitsu guys they have it's all calcified so that with that cauliflower ear on if you're a touch to cauliflower ear nah it's like a rock under the surface there calcium Rock that's what it's like because the it's what it is is the break in the skin it swells up because it bleeds and then that blood calcifies and hardens and the only way to fix my friend Brett had his fixed Brent yeah Brent my friend Brent had a fixed they had a cut his ear like a fish they had a full aunt and then they had to open it up and scrape out all the

► 02:35:26

the hard tissue and then sew it back up together and he couldn't do Jujitsu forever because if he did Jujitsu again after the operation would break open and start bleeding again Pam yeah I was looking for a picture where a guy gets this part I've seen people with a plug and a hole on the inner part here oh I've seen that yeah but this guy took it to a whole spot on oh my God roses nose oh my God no shit oh my God those Sam like that definitely fucks with his hearing a hundred percent oh yeah hundred percent he's got a giant gauge hole in the bottom and a medium gauge hole in the top and then big ones on his nostrils where his nostrils he has like the bottom hole where his nostrils are and then the above the nostril is get to huge holes we could see the septum opened up the side of his nostrils quarter sized hole easily I can't say that dudes real happy I just don't see it I don't understand that look

► 02:36:24

but hey hey man what you gonna do Ian Edwards will be with me with Dave Chappelle coma Washington and then Salt Lake City Salt Lake City the next day which is August 3rd tickets just went on sale and I don't think so there are there no I think they're on sale on Friday yeah but they went on priests all the way Dave does it you have to register as a legit fan like a human being have to make sure that you're not a ticket agency the scalp and these tickets behind them up in mass and then selling them back so Ian Edwards it would have to be you have to show your driver's license or something I don't know how they verify it but and then once you register then you could buy the tickets and it's for those people for a while and then after that then it's opened up to the general public I think on Saturday and something like that but Ian's gonna be with me Donnell Rawlings yeah I don't know if that's been announced but I just announced it Donnell Rawlings going to be there too I'm fucking pumped we're gonna have some fun

► 02:37:24

going to be crazy those are gonna be wild that's gonna be fucking crazy bro I get this weekend was crazy that weekend is gonna be fucking great Tacoma sold out in a day 20,000 people it's gonna be nuts no sleep I'm not expecting any sleep we're gonna have some fun here yeah it's gonna be crazy all right so tell people you're special it's this weekend Friday this Friday July 12 on Comedy Central at midnight check it out Ian talks Bill Burr presents and talk and if it wants it all things comedy did it right yeah all things calm you know and then once it's out will be able to be streamed on comedy Central's streaming service yeah download the app or just go to comedycentral.com you really see it there beautiful yeah powerfully Network science program thank you my friend much love I love bye bye thank you friends for tuning into the show and thank you to our sponsors thank you to policy genius.com and it's not just life insurance folks they can help you do all the leg work with all

► 02:38:24

kinds of different Insurance home insurance auto insurance disability insurance it's the easy way for you to compare all the top insurers and find the best value for you policy genius go delegate what you hate especially if you hate getting life insurance thank you also to Buffalo Trace Whiskey the real shit motherfuckers they've been distilling this stuff's in 1773 I love being a part of something that's from 1773 I don't know why but just it it connects me to the Pioneers with every sip it's fantastic Buffalo Trace aged and bottled by Buffalo Trace Distillery 90-proof Franklin County Kentucky Buffalo Trace American family owned and fiercely independent it's complex and smooth we're also brought to you by the motherfucking cash app that's right once again the number

► 02:39:24

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