7 - Sliding into the DMs - It’s Time to Get Laid Boys

Oct 23, 2018

Alex and Sofia give men the ultimate guide to DM success and break down the do's and don'ts of their social media habits. They elaborate on dirty talk in the bedroom, and why girls with hair extension are an easy f**k

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if you call him daddy do I call her daddy call her daddy

all right it is October thoughts holy shit okay it's October 24th it's been October for a while okay well we've been black out the entire month of October because taking on this job it's like okay I can't be sober I thought it was September up until yesterday let's not hide you it's almost Halloween bitches if you guys are looking for a costume a last-minute costume I'll be a little narcissistic and say go for it be Sophia and I

all we know that would actually be the easiest costume because all you have to do is throw on a long blond wig and then medium hair brown wig and dress like a total slut and boom there you go Alex and Sophia back at it again trick or treaty I love that so what's up bro everyone it is Alex and Sophia back at it again for another episode of call her daddy if you are just joining us and this is your first episode will you're listening to the wrong fucking episode go start of episode 1 everyone else huh

hello it's episode 7 oh my God - how did we get high have actually no idea literally blackout so we want to give a shout out to all the girls with that bomb Voodoo clam hi ladies mmm and all those guys pulling gdrs left and right and for those of you who don't know a GTR is a good dick review maybe even a great dick review I have faith in you guys dude you guys are no dirty Savage it's like we read our DM's first of all we want to let you guys know we read everything we have no lives we read everything

guys are savages like you guys are taking it up a notch you guys are telling us you're on your way to fuck your ex and give him the GLOCK GLOCK and then guys are over here being like I'm about to go do the hummingbird on this bitch is clit we're like unbelievable loving the spirit loving it you guys are living it and you're feeling it and that's what this whole podcast is about live laugh love so thank you let's talk about our weekend because we always do little Rican we was at English we always do weekend Recaps so this past weekend so

Sophia and I went to a pretty upscale brunch this past I would say so very upscale guys we're starting to make money so we can treat ourselves on this shit so we go to this upscale brunch it was on the Upper East Side if you guys don't live in New York City at the Upper East Side is exactly what you've heard it is it's Gossip Girl it's bujji as fuck and so Sophie and I go to this brunch and we sit down there's like eight women sitting next to us they're all waspy they've got their Chanel designer shit on their drinking their bellinis there

in there macaroons they've got tea time and they're talking about their fucking book club meanwhile Sophie and I are talking about Dick and we're like hello happy Sunday just your normal call her daddy outing I mean I don't even remember we were talking about but it was completely inappropriate we were sitting there with our mimosas we had two sips maybe and the hostess walks over to us and says we just had a table open up for you please follow me and we're going to take you that way now mind you Soviet I had literally just sat down we were we were sitting

at our designated table we have you know already we were like getting ready to order the appetizer right so then something came over me right I was like oh my god do they recognize us as the call her daddy girl like wait a second is our podcast like actually taking off blowing up I mean are we low-key do they think we're kind of famous or what's happening I'm like Alex buckle up baby we're going to the big house table oh my God yeah bitch

you thought listen up guys because we were sadly mistaken we are we are escorted over to what would probably be considered as the dungeon table and when I tell you guys we literally are sitting we might as well have been sitting in the fucking men's bathroom because we are living so fucking close every time the door swings open I am getting nailed every time a guy came out after he takes a massive dump I'm

like hello got Mel at all and my head is getting the best of this fucking door this table was in like the farthest corner it was covered in cobwebs the Crypt Keeper lived there it was so dimly lit I couldn't even read the menu I'm like what are we doing back here it would happen and all we knew it was because the stupid ass ladies next to us had complained and you know what to that I say ladies I will be fucking your husband later okay I want to come hi

hi Alex and I will both be giving your husband the Glock like later imagine Alex gave a better Goddamn Duo to give the Gluck Gluck to your husband we will wait yeah I didn't think so all right moving on let's talk about diem we have gotten so many questions guys asking us what is the best way to DM agirl what is proper etiquette for dming girls I just want to say news flash Dion's work like I'm lucky I think people sometimes doubt the em I have dated

triple guys write that have first led into my DMs so that is oh that's just a little inside over here that we want to give you also not to get sappy with it but all I can say is everyone out there that isn't shooting their shop because they're afraid they're going to get rejected left and right or they're going to get left unseen fuck that dude yeah gives a shit guys go for it you'll just have nothing to lose nothing I mean think about approaching a girl in person that's scary getting rejected

or in person that's scary if I was a dude I would be standing DM's like it was my job which it you should like iron on Sunday and then resend it like what you're just you're on a phone who gives a fuck so let's talk about Okay Sophia and I are like talking about this there's a couple things that we want to get guys are a little bit of insight in here okay what can guys do the first thing that is imperative for them to possibly get answered if they send a DM go first thing is your profile profile baby weight

in seconds of you sending the DM the first thing she's going to do is go and look at your profile that's the first thing I think about yourself when a guy sliding into a grant he's like let me see what this girl's a scientist look like well the girls do the same fucking thing right so hello they need to make sure you're not a serial killer Etc absolutely okay so profiles so we're going to give you guys the do's and don'ts of profiles really quick yes my number one thing do not post a picture of your fucking cars I don't want to see your Mazda

right I don't I just don't want to see it even if it's a goddamn Maserati I do not want to see what kind of car you have to leave it up to my imagination when you pick me up on the first date motherfucker Alex how many times the picture with big guy like lean back on the hood of his BMW I'm like diam deceased I am dead get the fuck out of my face if you ever post that I'm getting out of there yeah I don't want to see it it's the worst form of a flex eyes no one gives a shit what kind of car you own I don't care oh really

any inanimate object that you own okay your hats your shoes a fake Rolex oh it's a real Rolex again I don't care no no the wad of cash get the fuck out of my field by Never by is what we were talking about how you're just saying you know guys sitting on his car let me just tell you guys male photo shoots unless you are a goddamn I am G model I do not want to see you posting solo shots on Instagram it is not cute yeah you do know you're not doing an ad for fashion Nova like

no there are thoughts on Instagram but that is where us thoughts live and we breathe and we make us money maybe it's just a fact girls can do certain things on Instagram that guy's absolutely have no business doing they had a guys that are posting solo shots of themselves and are having their friend or whoever I don't honestly who takes these pictures even a selfie from a guy okay yes you know let me just tell you guys if you're like well I don't know I'm telling you right now to go delete every single solo shot because when I tell you Sophia was sleeping with this guy and we thought he was kind of cool

I will never forget there was a morning Sophia and I both woke up and wewe woke up to seeing that he threw up a goddamn solo shot we both deemed it to each other at one point yeah morning and we walk out and you literally verbatim said I will never sleep with that man again this picture made it so clear to me that this guy will never be entering me again ever so stop with the solo shot to win tonight next let's talk let's talk about the fishes okay okay but

knock it off with the pictures of the fish you caught okay I'm done pick one your we're going to allow you to post once the biggest fish you ever fucking call his fish and if you really feel the need to have all of them put it in your little fishy album and take it to bed with you okay give it to your grandmother give it to your family the same thing that's got a fish tank all right fucking post okay moving on so there's a lot okay we're sitting on guys listen there are things you can do that can be positives and first

I want to say and this is something we both agree on if you guys are posting pictures with friends with family showing you of a goddamn motherfucking social life throw that shit up okay that shows one let me tell you girls look to stalk you it's like okay are you hot are you cool are you whatever but when they also go to your profile they're looking to see if you have friends that their friends can also hang with so whenever I go I'm like oh so feel like who are you talking to is he hot and then you're like yeah look how hot is friends

I'm like okay damn like let's go out again that's what girls naturally think about so guys if you can post cool school pictures with your friends when you're out when you're whatever you're doing because pictures also though do not please throw up every picture of you guys out of fucking frat party with alcohol your keg with your fucking Bud Light right we do we we don't want to be like oh well my future husband who will be in prison I know within a year they Shoulda seen that he was an alcoholic real quick so those are there you go talk about the Wardrobe we were listen we do some

search sometimes we were stalking on Instagram and some guys have no fucking idea what to no clue and that's just because like dude I already told you I swear to God my brother would not be dating the girl that he's dating right now had it not been for me helping him out no right back to where I think the number one thing with your wardrobe is get a pair of well fitted Jean yeah that's huge get them in every color and Rock'em oh you know what Sophia can we talk about what pants not to fucking where oh okay khaki pants

like khaki shorts or pants leave me and my family alone little okay I'll get out of my face where is khaki pants knock it off knock it off every person right now you own khaki pants or I don't know if it burns them I don't know who is it because you had a High School dress code well I don't care whatever private school you're going to you should have been going there if they were making up out because I don't okay loafers done knock it off get out of my face high-top Jordan knock it off knock it off okay I taught Jordans at a

bar with khaki pants I've seen it and I want to die I want to die who the fuck is putting on high top Jordans and khaki pants there's just clearly someone yeah there's a way that was horrible get yourself a nice pair of jeans and I think if I was okay listen I'm not going to shit on people that were button Downs because I know people in the South are way more prep yeah I personally think it's so fucking hot where when a guy Wears Like A v-neck tee to or if he throws on like a casual like long-sleeve hoodie type yeah or like a crewneck something I gotta keep it casual the button

especially in like a bar setting no I'm like realizing Alex girls and guys guys have to almost worried about their profile more than girls because all guys care about is how hot the girl is that's what if the girl has no picture with friends doesn't matter doesn't matter you could be a serial killer only pictures of herself doesn't matter great we're ready to go you could be wearing the most hideous outfit her daughter doesn't matter that's actually supposed to picture of her fucking car that she's been driving since high school that has a broken

window doesn't matter you're right so guys if you're actually struggling with your outfits when you're going out to bars are going to dance what I do with my brother DM Sophia and I us pictures of what you're about to wear will probably answer you because we have nothing else to do with their lives so hopefully that gives you a little bit of insight of what you should be wearing okay let's talk about what to say what to say I think the number one no no is saying hi dude hey the amount of is played in our like hi no unless you have a blue fucking check mark

hi will never work and let's be honest none of us have a blue check second X Games all right people will say hi or the worst one that I think it's so obvious that I can see through it when they're like um hey I need you I need to ask you a question oh obviously all you'll need to do is accept your DM and you don't have a question you're just trying to click bait me yeah I know what clickbait is motherfuckers and I'm not responding to it Alex's click be all the time okay let me also tell you guys sexual sexual sexual comes with time do not first DM them

asexual DM yeah guys this is what you need to do the humor is where it's at with oh totally agree and I'm more of a sucker for it than most girls like I told Alex and she's like what is wrong with you an example because it's happening not that long ago and I want to give a shout out to my friend Phil I will be texting you soon this guy sends me this DM and it ends with you know what I've got the bill you've got The Fill

because his name is Phil I fucking hate that like low-key Phil that's kind of savage but at the same time I hate it mostly probably wouldn't fucking hate that but Sofia were so everybody is like what did the guy do it someone put into Sophia's yams about the beaver show oh here's another one that I thought was brilliant he said girl are you a beaver was like No And he was like cuz damn Sophia you realize the pickup lines

do you think are the most endearing literally you just do like a beaver dam I know what you're fucking saying I'm telling you that you can live this double check you can double check again okay no I agree that the humor I had a guy slide in once and it was like a it was like a big Melissa McCarthy coming down this slide and he like said something about oh I'm sliding yeah it's fun GIF is always great can I say I personally think of all the DMS I've ever gotten I think the most effective way to DM a girl

is responding to one of her stories oh yeah like that is the way to do it yes it's way it's it just makes it less creepy automatic that's creepy but also more personal because rare you're having to respond to something that she is obviously doing with her life and make it funny yes and you're acknowledging something that she found like interesting or sighs she found running it's almost like you're agreeing with it absolutely yeah so I'm sorry if this section wasn't as crazy but I think we had to address the ad to like this

my mission is real life guys I have dated multiple people times yam this isn't made up all right let's talk about hair extension Sophie and I both can agree if you're fucking around with a girl with hair extensions you are guaranteed probably to get fucked way faster and if you're not fucking with someone with hair extensions well let's go not for the reasons you think not for the reasons you think okay well first of all let's just say I know every like the minute we said hair extensions every guy was like oh no fuck this about the best for okay but then they heard you say that you will end up fucking her so maybe they are

Loki this section is literally for you guys if you are down with the hair extensions girl listen All Right girls we've all been there you do not want a guy to reach into your hair and feel your tracks you'll do literally anything to avoid him filling your extensions you will end up forcing him to finger yet before he touches your goddamn weave okay let us explain agreed alright let me paint the scene painting you are back at this guy's house you guys are making out things are getting hot and heavy

and he goes to put his fingers through your hair oh my God all right and you know goddamn well that you have a nasty ratchet a situation back there you have some extensions for days okay and you do not want this guy feeling what type of weasel you've got living in the back of your head all right at that very moment your fight or flight response that kick the fuck in and at that very moment you literally will redirect his hand yeah Anywhere But first he'll do you know how many times I've

the guys had and literally insert it inside of my pants and onto my vagina because for fear that he would feel my fave I have literally pushed him down onto the bed and somehow my face is at a zipper and I'm about to give some gray fucking Gluck actually because I'm like not today are you gonna find out that I've got a weave in my know and I know he sounds like oh but I need girls to be honest and tell us we're not psychic goddamn true oh my God it's like the funny thing about it is that guys are so shocked

because there was not meant to be any like sexual advances a null pointer it's literally all of a sudden you could be on your first date like guys have to understand there is no timeline for this it doesn't matter if it's our first date you will be entering me if it means yeah you were possible to find out I believe uh no no your fingers before you touch my help and that's just what it is because I know sometimes let's just I've seen their faith they can be shocked it's like I was not ready for that but at the end of the day we are also show I there

shot I'm shot I'm like I wasn't planning on getting fingered at 1:30 this afternoon it's after a coffee D but you went to you know if you want to my scalp you enter run your fingers through my hair and I had no other choice but to get finger fucked okay so that's a quick way for guys if you ever want to get to third base with a girl no no what we're trying to say guys don't just don't go for the hair no Sophia no got we gotta play Both Sides guys if you have any inclination

that this broad has tracks for any type of hair extensions you go for them because two seconds later your fingers will be in her vagina and we hit their base let's go baby so let me get this straight Alex we're telling men that if you are talking to a girl with hair extensions to try to feel that absolute because you will have to rescind your hand inside of her vagina okay we got to be we gotta we gotta support both sides girls do what you got to do guys do what you gotta do also

one of my God only one of the guys I dated for almost two years and I he'd never knew I had mentioned I know that is the craziest thing because you didn't know I go into clip-ins and you wear them occasionally like yeah we're them to event I would fucking whip I'd like babe I gotta pee I would whip that shit out of my scalp yeah shove it in my purse shove it in my pants throw it in a closet so I guess you know even more advice is if you don't want to get fingered on your first day just use clip-ins because then you can just throw them in your purse

and avoid the whole fingering situation you don't have to get finger vein of just called you unless you're trying to speed up the process and then you go in and then you can get fucked yeah hey moving forward while we're on the topic of getting fucked when are we not on that topic okay let's talk about dirty talk okay holy shit all right listen the noise level just cries all right so if you and I were talking about this the other day I have been with guys that are coming

completely silent yeah I'm bed and when I say like silent I mean mute me too it's like you're fucking a minor legit fucking around with him I like art do you have a pulse nothing what's happened so let me just say like it is so unattractive for 15 to 20 minutes you're in bed with this guy and there is no noise you're the only person in the noise you're talking to yourself you're having like what the fuck yeah and so I want to say we got a DM from someone this is kind of what brought it up we got it

DM from someone and they said are you supposed to moan cus breathe like you're running the mile because sometimes I can't tell if I'm breathing too heavy or if they like it I think I can speak for all women that we love some indication that you're enjoying yourselves we don't want to hook up with a guy that's totally silent like no throwing a cuss word just throwing in a fuck so hot if you're grunting moaning whatever it's hot like we want you to do that we just don't want the neighbor oh my

okay it's like you walk out and we don't want the neighbor to know that you were fucking Katie we want the neighbor to know it was David that like it's like okay because the guy was screaming so fucking loud but now everyone knows Katie's name and not David's name David shut the fuck up and let Katie screaming oh my God oh my God or what about this sound with they're actually coming because honestly no I understand that it's a little bit involuntary okay it's like it's just your body

responding listen and you only have so much control over it we get it everyone has their response when they come yeah it's what it is however I have literally hooked up with guys and if they were putting in work for that 20 minutes whatever how long it took it's a it's a gdr great dick reviews about the come his way the minute he comes I sometimes have looked up at a guy and been terrified because he's like

is going on what is happening I know exactly what I'm gonna is like an exorcism really like their possessor like oh it's like it happens like you look up in a guy here having a fake gun belt out we don't want this song Zombie Nation blasting while you're blasting okay together it's the scariest thing and his face two guys just trying to keep it real gadreel it in all right

well it's all cheer we don't need some like okay holy shit okay so on the topic of that don't worry girls we didn't forget about you know we're not just gonna shit on guys we gotta show them girls to we're all so it's not saying that we're doing this perfectly either so let's talk about talking in bed for girls now I think there's a huge misperception or misconception sometimes because of porn they all grew up watching porn and porn is crazy and everyone's like oh my god let's go fucking crazy and how the porn stars do it we should do it yes

so absolutely okay you guys porn is not realistic it's just not now okay I'm sorry if I'm crushing sold out there but the MILF coming home to fuck you and then this stepsister it's just not real okay so with that said my friend told me a story you hooked up with a girl last week and he said that the tip hadn't even gone inside of her fully and she started screaming bloody murder like he thought he was like did someone

one gets shot because I haven't even like I not even what happened because I let the tip is gray as the labia and started screaming like a porn star what we want to say is listen girls we understand that porn is like you want to be crazy car man and you want to make noises but low-key guys also can read through that shit it's like they don't want to act like you're putting on a performance make sure it sounds fucking genuine to be genuine and obviously be vocal something's feeling

good let them know if you moaning whatever absent like don't put on a goddamn show with that being said though and I want to say men are like dogs ladies men are like dogs in the way that imagine a puppy okay he's running around you're going to clap you're going to be like yes come on you're doing great you're doing great come on here we go you are literally chanting them on you're giving them props for what they're doing when they're doing things right so you need to give them pep talk so yeah conversation or

any type of communication in the bedroom is huge guys think it's a huge turn-on it's just the amount that you're trying to use absolutely okay so let's talk about okay because we've had people write in being like what the fuck am I supposed to say when every bedroom with my God yes and I think we can absolutely talk about possibly it's really simple you guys think about the inner workings of a guy's brain disgusting disgusting okay so when you're about to start some dirty talk be 10 times instinctively dirtier than

it normally would be absolutely so let me give you an example hi if you're going to say I want to suck your dick guys that's Amateur hour you're not going to say that I don't know you're going to say I wish I was taking your whole piece down my throat until my eyes water and my mascara is down on my chin okay you gotta get descriptive with it baby and make them really believe in what you're saying oh my gosh poetry poetry okay

I love that we had a girl right in and she said though like legit during sex yeah you wanted to say Sophia you can help her out what does she do when she wants to say fuck me but how does she take it up another notch oh that is so simple of course all he got too close all you have to do is add fuck me like your slut fuck me like a worm or or treat me like a slut or for that's good one too you're telling a guy that you're his yeah

and I hyung view and then you throw in a slut boom I think a huge one is like if you tell them like I'm gonna fuck you like it's yours they're like I just came already or if you like fuck me like I'm your whore blah blah that goes a long way ladies okay and so guy is hiding a boner right now is like what the fuck is going on there are so many girls out there that have written in and said I want to spice it up but if my boyfriend just comes home or my husband comes home and randomly out of nowhere

where I'm like fuck me like I'm your whore who cares you know but think about it I understand where they're coming from like they can get a little nervous first of all I don't mean to encourage being intoxicated yeah II know I totally agree with you Alex I think of you you know want to have a few shots maybe a little hit of the joint if you're in California or wherever absolutely whatever then I think that can make sex awesome and I don't be a job I don't think there is a thing better than high sex I'm just putting it out there only

in the legal states but I suggest if you haven't done it and you're trying to spice things up with your partner you should both get high try it out it's a great time thanks thank you for that advice Alex you're welcome only in California but also if you guys want to take drink whatever you got to do to get yourself in the mood now let me also tell you we also talked about the two Hand double hand twist with the glücklich because you want to make your man feel big no matter we said no matter how small his dick is it's never too small to do the double hand twist when he's fucking you if you want to throw in a word because sometimes girls are

gonna be like oh my God I don't want to say oh my God fuck me like you and your whore and what you can do is give him descriptive terms to let him know he's hitting it right okay example if he's fucking you and you tell him how deep he is or how wet you are 8-1 thank you great one don't agree absolutely I've heard from every guy friend I know that if you kind of like push back on his hip when he's fucking you and you're like oh my God because he's so deep they they're going to be like well I'm in love

I'll because he's gonna feel huge okay I'm just saying we kind of also need to err on the side of caution all right porn has fucked with our minds so much that now people are saying like come on my face and then punch me after then steal my wallet right Joe came on her face don't steal her wallet just being beautiful work like for example we were listening to a podcast oh and on the podcast the girl asked what was the dirtiest text you ever sent she sent a guy a text saying

NG I want to suck the skin off of your dick okay what that is ma that is literally like saying I want to suck your clit off your vagina I'm in fucking pain who would find that sexy I want to suck the skin off of your dick oh we can't we do you want to chew on my dick after as well crunch eyeballs like to think is this so no girls I think you need to be really fucking careful when you're like getting descriptive beat make sure it's yeah

it's not like you're getting his dick like a monster that's he really okay okay so we go first of all I was going to say let's get into story time but I think what we should just start saying is it's Sophia story time it's a story time with Sophia story I got you know I thought we were on equal crazy playing field but I guess no dude I thought I was crazy until I met you so amazing let's get into your stories I feel great about myself all right here we go well first of all let's preface it with we're crazy we lie a lot I mean what did I say the other day to you you told a guy your parents are

getting a divorce and then how does he ever getting back together to get out of a date well I actually wasn't even gonna bring that up but yes I did say my parents are getting a divorce so I could get out of a date but that's that's neither here nor there okay I was going to say when you came out of your room and you were fighting with the guy and I like texted you want to lie to him and yes oh my God the minute I said the lie you told me to tell you like believed everything and I was like Little White Lies Sophia are what kept me through my day it just gotta you gotta live your life you word I thought word said that little white lies are like get me through

day and I was like okay in honor of celebrating how much we lie let's talk about one of the great times that you lied and the extent you took your lies yeah well we partly my fault partly the doctors fall okay right into it so I missed work and it was this day that I could not miss under any circumstances my boss had told me I can't miss it and this is when you were in Utah working for a financial firm yep got it it was a very very important data presentation cetera I decided to go

all the night before because well why not so when in Rome when in Utah same thing you know what I mean okay so I woke up at like lunchtime okay all right I wake up with all these texts I go into a full-blown psychosis okay I hurry and grab the guys dating at the time and I dropped to the floor my knees and I say I will be fired if you don't punch me in the face right now and he was like what I'm like

just knock me out please and then driving a hospital and then get me a doctor's note because it's over for me and he was like you're psycho and I was like please give me just give me a black eye just anything please just knock me out please I'm begging you and he's like you're scaring me I'm leaving I'm giving a black guy I'm gonna break up with you this is what I was I was grasping for anything that I could just casual Tuesday Morning in Sofia in my mental state I was like oh my gosh if I go with them

black guy like they won't even ask any questions I'll be good I'll be good to go but he you know he denied me oh like like a good boyfriend would do if you asked him know a good way for wanted I'm not gonna say it alright we don't we do not agree with domestic violence okay okay got it okay I'm running around the house his roommate was wearing crutches at the time I grabbed those bad boys and I was parading around the house singing if I could pull it off that I needed crutches and I had gone a car accident or something

ever convenient and it just didn't work I was like there's no way I can pull this off for an entire day or an entire week or two weeks how long would I have to keep a battle I okay I would end up just like walking to the bathroom on both my feet I'm like oh shit anymore crunches okay so the crutches didn't work the punching of the face didn't work no then what did you know so then I start going through my list of friends and I'm texting and I'm like are you a doctor or do you know a doctor who can write me a legit doctors know you are telling me no finally this

guys like oh Sophia like I can get you a doctor's know we use need to hang out just like your but I see real quick I was like absolutely absolutely like of course we'll hang out just give me the doctors know he's like okay but like you promised and I'm like oh I promise babe of course we're going to hang out never saw the man again but I did get the doctors know K and this is the thing about asking for a doctor's note the doctor gets to decide what diagnosis you're going to have I love how you so casual like guys this is it

but when you get a doctor's help Sophia I don't think many people are like soliciting they're like Hey listen I'll hang out with you can get me a doctor don't usually I don't have to go down I've actually had a few doctors notes that were forged for me not even Forge for real doctors it gave me doctors notes but will you know we can talk about the other ones on a later because they think their penis is gonna get it locked in the never hear from you this part okay killer doctors no okay he decided to give me a Mersa diagnosis okay it's MRSA I don't know what it stands for but pretty much it's a flush

shhhh eating bacteria Jesus croquet okay this next part isn't going to make sense within it will make sense okay okay I told my boss that I had Mersa the flesh eating bacteria on my vagina

okay why did you hesitate your vagina and this is y and this is not exaggerated that's exactly what happened okay I was trying to figure out how you can get Mersa okay because me and that I have no idea what that is me and I mean this particular boss we were really close we were close enough to the point that she would ask me like what the fuck yeah how do you have merca you know anywhere okay so I started researching it you get it you can get it from sharing

it was someone that has it okay okay see it is summertime okay it's so fucking hot in Utah I was wearing a tank top and a skirt every day okay so me and this boss are close enough where she would ask me to see where the mercy I got it I know for a fact she likes nicaea and I'm thinking what parts of my body do I shave that I won't be able to show her legs I can show her armpit I can show her the video

vagina I cannot show her brilliant do you get it now that's why I have a show it's I was thinking I was like oh my God I'll just say my but I'll just say my stomach I don't shake my butt I don't shake my stomach I do shave my bikini line absolutely and lo and behold I end up going to work and telling my boss that I had a flesh-eating bacteria on my pussy all right goodbye good night is over for me I'm Sophia Franklin stylish it and she believed you oh that's the thing Alex is the second you tell us

one you have a flesh eating bacteria on your vagina they have nothing else to do but to believe you like okay yes anyways go back to your desk you know why they know that someone in their right mind would not come up with a lie like that that's true why would you be proud to strengthen their be like yes I've Mersa on my poo know she's like no and guess who continue to work at that Financial firm for two more years I did all right but I swear to God haven't you told me that you've lied with other doctors

there's notes you just said that you said you won some Jewish award yes I went on a Birthright trip I lied at work and I said that I received this award in New York that I have to go I had to go like receive it in person okay you won a Jewish award in New York yeah okay okay I got to New York okay and my manager was like oh my God Sophia you have an award oh my God like congrats amazing you throw in the Jewish car they can't say

it about anything about religion so that's another way for sure you'll get away with it honestly guys talk about religion or pussy and you can get away with pretty much any lie you have alright so I'm in New York and my mom text me she's like let's go to the Dominican Republic and I like your psycho I already took three days three days off of work for an award that doesn't exist and she like you're coming funds like but why not let's go to the Dominican Republic and I said you know what I'm going to fuck it kind of mode I'm going through a breakup let's just

try it so I reach out to my friend that lives in New York he writes me a doctor's note simple it says I was at the surgery unit at new york-presbyterian like boom okay and you're gonna be out of work indefinitely the doctor knows that I'd be out of work indefinitely so I only took Lee at this point okay this financial firm and my boss and my managers and the people around me think I am deathly ill and I will die at any moment

have a month to live at his house like this bitch has Mersa she didn't fucking I see you and me York we don't know when we're gonna lose her my God mean I pulled out all the stops lie I only have respect for you I I mean I think you've definitely taken your lies really far as have I so I can only respect it we would love for you guys if you want right into the call her daddy.com website tell us your crazy-ass Stories We legit read all of your questions every week so I think right now is a perfect time to segue into reading a couple of

of your question yes my favorite part no I'm going to start it off with a great one this is gonna be good for us Sophia yeah so hmm just curious do you guys have a plan as to what you're going to say to your next boyfriend's parents when they ask you about the podcast Jeremy boyfriends are not in the cards for us anymore I think we made that very clear lost that privilege a long time ago if I somehow get pregnant from Immaculate Conception we don't know what it is

guys no one watching us anymore thank you for rubbing and Jeremy thank y'all next one how many bodies is Too Many Bodies as in people you've had sex with Dona my God Dona why do people okay dude we've had guys that have written into us being like how do I tell a girl how many bodies I've had first of all any girl that is asking a guy how many girls he is fucked what are what are you think I'm even vice versa I remember when I was little bit younger I would ask that question is

just an immature thing because once you hit a certain age you never asked how can I was going to say think about it if they say too many during like older man who are there slut and if you say too little to go there and experience you ever fucking answer that question there he doesn't matter there's no magic number that the person's going to be like oh right babe I knew I loved you I knew I loved you 23 that's my lucky number Wow Let's Get Married no no fuck that so never ask that question next its she goes hey guys so I hooked up with this guy and he ended up staying the night

fucking surprised he snores so loud this lasted the whole night and I almost had to sleep on the couch any tips to telling a guy he can't stay over and you just want him to make you come and then to get the fuck out oh oh my God let me take this one over go you hand him his pants and you think him for his Services you walk to the door you open the door and watch him leave watch him walk out and if he's being awkward he's like Oh I thought I was going to say like no no I'm sorry that's not how this works like I'll definitely let you know

yeah I don't want to see you and bye and if you're at his house oh you leave like a thief in like a thief you don't you even gonna tell him you're going no you just leave okay pull over think it it's like oh my God how do I kick him out you literally stand at your door and you wait for him to leave I mean nine times out of ten I'm not trying to sleep over no I don't even know you we come on okay yeah next if a guy text you hey at three in the morning and you don't open it until you wake

do you just ignore it because it was probably a booty call or should I respond what the fuck is a protocol let me take this one okay yes as I told you all before turn on your motherfucking read receipts you do not respond to anyone that text you past midnight I would say and you wake up and you read that shit and then he's going to see that you read that shit and you don't answer them you wait for him to double text you because no one no girl and no guy we are not answering three am absolutely not guys

sorry the next day things are different all right it's a new day it's a new dawn it's a new life whatever is that Michael Buble song that's it you're one with the Lord the birds are chirping and that's it and that's how we're doing it so I hope to God we all learned a little sighs I hope guys and girls well guys mostly I hope you guys learned a thing or two about Dion's I hope all of you right now are actively going and deleting every fucking solo shot you ever taken every car picture you've taken

fish picture girls I hope if you are in a rut with your man or you wanted to spice things up you are telling him how good he feels how big he is whatever we just talked about with talking dirty tell him you are in fact his little whore now that is it for today's episode of call her daddy episode 7 guys wow next week as we always say every fucking Wednesday we are coming out with the new episode we maybe talk

about but stuff I don't know oh yeah who knows so thanks for hanging out with us today guys we love your support make sure you go to iTunes rate US leave a little review if you feel us and we will see you guys next week on Wednesday thank you guys love you guys I love you