78- Seeking Arrangements: Our Story

Mar 24, 2020

This is how you should do Corona.

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do I call her daddy call her daddy

good morning good evening good afternoon who even knows what time it is welcome to the call her daddy show this week all the days are blending blend blur and you know we're here it's us it's Alex it's Sophia it's you it's me the Daddy's it's the father's back at it again got it for another episode of call her daddy we are on what Mimosa are you on I'm on three but I'm feeling good you too I feel like I'm ready to roll

as you know we're recording from home yeah this is kind of fucking amazing it is like we get to just we gotta be drunk while we're recording and I like it Corona the quarantine it's getting to us it's getting to us and just before we get started if you're going to get upset about Corona jokes whoever's listening turn this off get the fuck out on Move Along we're going to talk about it freely yeah we are we're in New York as everyone knows

knows we are in the pit of the storm yes it's we're actually kind of in the beginning yeah ages yeah but like people that are already going stir-crazy I'm like you do realize you have weeks of this oh right right right I'm or so men like the location all right we're in the armpit of heavy oh no it's fine but I like yeah so we're in the epicenter at the motherfuck the big word I know big word big group and I just want to say something about New York actually go

my I was talking to my mom and she's in Utah and she was complaining about being quarantined and I'm like anyone that's in a house means to shut the fuck up because for a lot of us New Yorkers what is social distancing you're supposed to be six feet apart our apartment like an Alex and I go to our rooms at night we're not even six feet apart no literally yeah you York is so fucking hard to social distance yeah I love that you just said that because I think there's a

a lot of memes online right now of Kylie Jenner Kylie Jenner got on her Snapchat and was like guys I love being at home I don't know why everyone is getting that like in my case being at home bitch you live in a mansion she lives her mansion and like she could have whatever she wants set up in her backyard thank you wants an amusement park there you go she wants a shopping mall she calls someone they set up a shopping mall an extra house in the backyard

set up for herself like but if you guys are in a house you're lucky but I also have to say I could have gone home to Pennsylvania and I was like the thing is is going home is scary too because it's like being locked up with your family and get her Leo I mean you notice it during the holidays like towards the end of New Year's you're like I got to go I got it and I'll see you around mama so I feel like staying in New York like you don't annoy me as much as like my siblings can annoy me so I'm gonna

to stay put yes also we have to work I could go so low I guess yeah no yeah we have to work I think this social distancing thing is really hard for some people yeah like my grandparents they're obviously part of the demo that is the most at risk right and they were out fucking shopping up a storm yesterday oh wow a my whole family got so upset I feel like it's

really fucking I get why you guys are upset because it's also been fucking hard to tell old people to like you can't tell them what to do Los tableside and she's like get out of right going I'm cruising on my Skies not to mention their the shooter but I just threw that away sorry no she actually can just walk okay okay but they are actually the last people that should even be yeah getting stuck because they're Mormon Oh I thought you were to say because their age what is Mormon have to do with it the Mormon actually are

I'm more at risk but what do you mean no because people from the LDS Faith they have already like a storage locker somewhere in their house with a Year's worth of supplies of like Essentials in food and shit they've been ready for the fucking coronavirus it's the way I'm sorry and I'm hoping that Daddy gang is on the same page with me I don't know what we we we I don't know anything about that culture so when you talk about it I always think it's like really yes doing so

Mormons believe that there's going to be a second coming of Christ yes got it and so they were they're told by the church to have like a Year's worth of supplies in their house already we why because you can't go outside of Christ comes they think it's gonna be like a time of a pakeha anything oh they should be sad oh so they have magic yeah are hoarding yeah they're fucking being greedy but I love you darling at your grandparents on our podcast this is gonna be really fucked up and I don't want anyone to take it the wrong way

I know but a part of me during this whole situation is kind of glad that all my grandparents are dead no no and that sounds fucking wrong but I feel like if I like my nana you were being I'd be so fucking scared yes so I don't know so grandparents every one silver lining up dead Grandpa here doing it's just you gotta look at the bright side yeah um okay what else what else I actually wrote down some notes because I was like I want to talk about this okay the Coronavirus

food issue um I had an issue specific well my issue I have been preparing similar to your grandparents I've been preparing you like an apocalypse like I feel like I'm not gonna be able to go outside because you kind of can't write so I'm stocking up I'm stocking up on a lot of frozen food and then it will like be dinner time and I'm whipping out my DiGiorno pizza popping it in and eating the yang

I'm eating all the food that I'm supposed to be keeping in case I can't go outside DiGiorno pizza was for like week three yeah I ate it they won and also I just have anxiety about Corona I so I'm overdoing it I'm stress-eating and then I'm eating all the stuff that I'm supposed to be bull riding up on and saving it's just like really fun also I got completely fucked on my delivery order this is gonna be a little side note if people are still with us I didn't

order from Whole Foods and I don't know who the fuck Whole Foods think they are insulting my intelligence but you know you order something and it's out of stock they give U substitution yeah option yes spring rolls I literally they ended up coming to my house with maybe two items I ordered an eight things of fucking spring roll we were like we're out of toilet paper spring roll out of Pizza Spring Rolls I'm like know why is there like the Overstock of

spring rolls like no one wants to eat them yeah so our it's you know it's going well over here guys I think it's been like I think I've seen a lot of stuff on the internet of people being like the scariest part is this is just the beginning yeah and I already feel like I'm fucking losing right and you know what we realize that we are actually in a very very good place to heard two other people know we are were thankful but we also just like to bed yeah no I'm always gonna bet all my I said this the other day there's a saying and it's like

of course like I said the Quarry the quarantine is getting to our she's getting deep oh shit um there's a saying in it's like let it out honey but it out honey there's a saying in it's like of course some people's pain is gonna be like there's like things happening in the world that's like really hard for stealing I'm not but it's like it's like everyone's pain is pain right right Graham iPad

like may not be everybody dances others but I'm feeling my paints let me be in my pain everybody's pain is pain okay that's actually beautiful I really like the title of this episode yes um okay what else is going on I have a confession that I've never actively watch the news or Bonanza politics which I understand now that I'm getting older it's like it's time yeah because we've had the news on around the clock

President Trump I'm not getting into politics are not saying I like and I just like him it's a reality show it's like watching Real Housewives of New York It Is by same level I didn't know that I was missing I know best reality television fuck the Kardashians President Trump is out here putting on the best show I've ever seen it's the best shit I've ever seen I mean yeah I don't want to get political like my

I bet my God if you're bored fucking turn on CNN okay so let's do a quick personal update give it to us Sofia okay well I have a full-blown stalker okay perfect but actually it's suit man and me I love that a couple stalker we're both dealing with a stalker and so much has gone down in the past six months that I've never talked about and I'm ready to talk about it soon your you're collecting yes I'm collecting all of the info because there's so much shit that goes into it

females my mom has been contacted by the stalker it gets why his father has been contacted yes law so that's great just sit tight I don't know who's living a worst nightmare you were me my update right now how do I put it how do you pump because it's kind of like does not make any fucking sense it's really hard for me to explain it and I'm going to try to do it as best I can we needed diagram here we go you all know the Canadian a guy I'm fucking talking to regularly he sent me a photo there

three men in the photo I am talking to all three of those men how do they all know each other how are they all hanging out why are they quarantined together I have no fucking idea yes I just want you all to picture yourself what I'm trying to say is three of my side ho side hos all hanging on hanging out how does that happen let's take a moment of silence picture yourself you get a picture and three men that you were talking to that you didn't even know you knew each other existed

listed yep are fucking together yeah Step 1 that's the picture I get then it gets worse and they start group FaceTiming me together all three all together it's just a big happy fucking party and I'm like the laws of physics it doesn't fucking makes sense doesn't it kind of makes you seem like a whore like my guys are you fucking but they all live they all live in different parts no no I'm up for some reason during quarantine okay two of them have the same profession right

the third one is such a fucking outlier doesn't make sense it makes no sense but it is what it is but it and that's your reality so if the live in that I have to live in that every day how does Alex proceed we don't know yeah I just they keep FaceTiming me I keep answering right I'm being nice I'm actually I'm laughing cheering I don't know what to do right so we're taking it day by day you're like are they discussing my pussy right as one of them is fucked one of these is one of them has fucked me

the other two I have actually not even met I'm in the beginning stages of talking to them we're going to go ahead and put that shit on halt right I'm so aware that I can't be texting all of them while they're quarantined in the same house no baking with the Canadian obviously it may shift when quarantines over but for now for now if you were texting all three of them they are sitting down at the table and comparing tags did Alex send you the heart emoji and the fucking squirt Emoji bitch yeah

although I am single and I can do whatever the fuck I want I got to play this strategically so I don't kill off two men that I have even fucking met yet right so that's that only this would happen to you that's all I got to say thank you Sophia on the topic of face time because I feel like during Corona a lot of FaceTiming has been going on oh yeah oh yeah up your data plans if you don't have Wi-Fi ramp it the fuck up yeah the amount of men

currently FaceTiming me oh is quite unbelievable remarkable to say no okay that do I know really that sounded very conceited but let me explain because it has literally nothing to do with what I'm doing I'm not doing anything special over here there are no Sports there is a lockdown men are breaking by the motherfucking minute and all of a sudden bitches are getting text back from

that they have not heard from in a fucking year right years right coming out of the goddamn would work at beautiful to see yes it's like men are yearning for a woman's touch and since they can't get it they're doing the next best thing which is face time so that is time yeah and we wanted to talk about it because FaceTiming can be a little bit nerve-racking guys it can be really nerve-racking especially if you if it's like one of your first time space

timing a guys so like can I just give an example yeah I remember and I was talking to this guy you know who it is and we would face time and every single time you would face time I would set up my phone like adding an angle where I looked hot and I would were not fucking move would it be it was it was like I was paralyzed and I was like oh my God if you move your face a little to the right you look like fucking Gaul you look on so keep it there and he called

meow on it at the end of the face time he was like does your neck her something like haven't even moved so I understand that it's nerve-racking okay so just please let me know what did you say I don't like oh my God what are you talk probably pressed clicking stop talk to you like what so no FaceTiming can be really hard and I remember we were talking about this the other day because I'm talking to this guy he lives in LA and we've been keep we keep saying let's have a phase time date let's have a phase time date

date and naturally I he's never seen me on FaceTime so you want to look good yes but you don't want to look like you just got ready for a day can we talk about that because if you go to FaceTime a guy and you have a full face of makeup I'm talking fake eyelashes eyeshadow a smoky eye liner to the no you look like a weirdo you look and especially during Corona yes we're why do you have makeup on yes

first place you look like you're insecure about the way you look and you're trying way too hard so I think if you guys can maybe go light you got to do the no makeup makeup look Contour the fuck out of your face mascara but don't for a second make it look like you put make about we don't come here a lot of styling everything draw your face on but don't let them know you drew it on type of shit haha guys

it's it's yeah it's hard yeah I think that I think that maybe going light on the mascara is the way to go and maybe the eyebrows go light on the field and yeah so minimal and then it's like all right I was trying to figure out do I show tits do I do minimal Ted's do I do a fucking hoodie like what is your first FaceTime go to I think the first FaceTime you can't show cleavage I agree the first one is really setting the precedent for all the other fish yeah it's like ahh

you a whore are you not and you can absolutely be a whore but you don't want to full-blown let him know whore right not a first right it's honestly kind of like dating in person it is on the first date with a guy you don't want to just you know be showing your ass cheeks you're showing up little tassels on your nipple yes it's kind of similar I don't think any girl goes on for seat like that but here's one of my biggest FaceTime tips when you're talking to like a new guy or a new girl my strategy is to always

have an out which I mean by that like when I get on the face time I make sure he kind of knows like oh I gotta go do something in a little bit which I like very curious what is your out during Corona like the laundry is Buzz Buzz gotta go like to use here the dishwasher got a gun literally Corona is making it a little bit harder but normal FaceTime I'm always like okay like I gotta go like I'm going to eat with my friends or something but incur

oh Nat I could ronit a donut time in Corona time I think it can be good where you can say like oh shit like I have to get on a phone call for work or something yes you could say like shit sorry my roommate just asked me she needs me I got to go and yeah if it's at night you can just be like okay my friend is actually waiting we're going to play a board game yeah or like we're gonna drink that wine like I'll text you always having an out because I think that there's this weird thing of like when the fuck does convo end it's awkward it's awkward

awkward another tip that I have is like this is gonna sound so over-the-top but try it out like look at yourself in your phone and be like does the lighting in my bedroom make me look like horrifying while you've been gone yes I've been in your room I've been on the balcony I've been laying on the couch on the floor on the bar stools on the chairs in my bed in the bathroom you never know set up a ring light without Now's the Time to buy a room note like straight

but I agree with you if you I think every girl does that but like practice your best lighting and find that lighting so that you can look bomb and confident when you get on the FaceTime totally maybe go as far as fucking like FaceTiming your friend first yeah and asking them like how do I yeah and another one that I just thought of it sounds kind of stupid but maybe you want to not start the FaceTime like sitting at like an office desk and just be like hello Bradley hello Bradley how are you today

like maybe maybe with you answer the FaceTime or FaceTime bem be walking around like pretend to turn the TV off have light music playing in the background while I like you know how fun you're so right like how awkward right when you call someone and it looks like you've been planning for the FaceTime your whole life you know what I mean there's a candle burning a glass of wine and like that stop and you're like hello Brad no it yeah it's kind of looks like a little like it looks like when

going for like an online inner yeah like let's knock it off and because I'm a little pussy ass bitch yeah if I'm feeling like the FaceTime is awkward and there's like an awkward silence sometimes I will literally put them on pause oh and I'll be I'll just be like oh my gosh sorry like my roommate just texted okay and then I'll come back to the face that's actually a really good point you bring up the thing about FaceTime especially if you don't really know the person and you're not like fully comfortable with them yeah is that when you are in

person on a date there can be awkward pauses right pick up your drain yes you look at the men's bodies weird yeah like you can people watch like you can comment on the people around you on FaceTime it is you and me Bruno and we're in this and if there's an awkward pause it can be really fast so awkward because it's rude if you're FaceTiming and you're doing other shit yeah you know I actually think

not sometimes like you and I have done it with the early stages of the Canadian but like when he would FaceTime me I would always kind of like walk out and hang out around Sophia and she went come on for a second yeah she would like incorporate and then he would like wait Sophia's hotter like I want to fuck Sofia and I really great and then I had to grab my phone and be like here's my clit like the whole thing like keep them interested in any way you can guys like who are your friends out but no yeah so I mean FaceTime is awkward guy but during this

this time all I can say is the amount of FaceTiming I'm doing it's so fucking Next Level because of Corona we literally you can hit someone up and be like hey what are you doing where are you grunting what are ya doing yes like what are you doing right now face it's like speed data you just get on you get off you get on you can up and you hop in hop out and there's no loyalty anymore right wow so you know I'll well everyone get excited get ready FaceTime is the MU do as the Romans

an office do fuck and fuck them good and fucking long fuck them long guys Roman swipes you know the drill they are clinically proven to help you last longer in bed you want to pound that asshole you want to pound that pussy but you're like holy fuck I literally come in 30 seconds yeah not anymore not anymore you are going to fuck until the sun comes up with Roman swipes their effective easy to use and fast-acting plus they do not require

choir prescription yeah guys they also come in really discreet unmarked packaging obviously you don't want to be like waving it around and so you're good to go no one will even fucking it know you slid that shit on your deck she looks out the window you swipe it on your dick and you fuck her in a way she's never been fucked before so go to get Roman.com Daddy and get your first month of swipes for just five dollars when you choose a monthly plan that's get Roman.com daddy so I was reading listener questions from the dad

gang okay and there's something happening and it's not Corona oh but it has to do with Corona love it the amount of girls writing in saying that they have been laid off from their jobs and because they can't obviously go out and try to get another job they have to make some type of income from home there is about to be a surge in Sugar Babies oh like so many girls were writing in saying I'm

getting on seeking Arrangement I'm doing this bulb LA and so yeah there's always seeking Arrangement oh the little jae-ha vog the OG speaking Arrangements again not an app it's a website it's a place for sugar daddies and sugar babies to me as in Arrangement Arrangement got it oh good one Sophia so everybody that is joining

needs to be verified before that they can make a profile meaning that you have to submit a photo ID to make sure that you're not like a scam artist right obviously though once you get accepted girl who don't need to like freak the fuck out you can use a fake name so it's not like your ideas on your profile I've had a lot of friends make profiles on there

uh-huh so guys Alex does have a little story time for us but before we get into top I've had other friends do it and they have told me that a lot of guys are full of shit you have to be careful yeah I'm pretty sure the sugar daddies have to put their net worth right and there's like no way to really verify that right you know like sketchy so it's kind of like a lot of trial and error there's like a few

Hobo's that you gotta like weed out you know before you get like the millionaire right right and then I have a few quick tips for girls making profiles don't put your face in these pictures oh a lot of girls literally do like neck down nudes and well you know that's the only thing guys care about so you're fine don't even give a fuck about your face no don't even doesn't even bother the makeup just fucking neck down honey yeah so yeah I think it's good to

it yourself don't put your face yeah in the pictures because opioid of the day if you just show your body then you're good and I think that listen at the end of the day every girl's dream would to be to find some guy that's willing to Shell out thousands of dollars for feet pics I think that's the easiest fucking route that that's really every girl's dream at the end of the day every ever really just the Gold's Gym like oh up feet pick Shalem no but I agree with you I think for every girl

like the last she can do for the most amount of money that is it yeah so I think that if you put in your bio beautiful pedicured feet beautifully curated Twinkle Toes arch for Dave starts four days he zero bunions and just all around a good time

we print out your toes and it so obviously the feet pictures and then as I've been doing more research about this the whole financial dominance thing is also something that like every girl's dream and Wayne what Financial Dawn okay then Dom situation yes and it is so fucking common I don't really get the Allure but I remember a guy got my email I have no idea how you remember that I remember I remember also how because so few of the fucking moron and for like

couple days Sophia's email was like literally full blown our Instagram with her also her phone number so just like I was worried I was wondering who's getting like so many emails and rounded time like Sofia your shit oh my God I'll therefore the world yes well now it's hidden so don't even try this guy got my email because I had it posted for the world and he started emailing me and he was like pretty much asking me to treat him like shit and I

didn't understand this is what I was like young and naive and I was like wait why and what and he was like I remember he kept saying send me your Amazon wishlist is such a big one he was like send me your wish list treat me like shit and make me buy it and send it to you it seems dude it's true it's like what why right why and here's a little vocab for you guys

these men who want to be dominated they're called pay pigs yes hey Pig the guys are called pay pigs and what are you you're a farmer I was gonna what is the equivalent of like a baby pig a piglet piglet no I know be a farm yeah you're the farmer with the fuck and there yeah can you fucking okay that was like the worst analogy I like okay so they're pay pigs

yes okay so we put on call her daddy because we were like I feel like obviously the daddy gang probably has like mad stories yeah that's about their experiences and some of this shit is fucking while Alex is going to read us some shit yeah so this girl wrote and she said oh my fucking God where to start with the sugar daddy stories so basically I went to college in a bougie as part of SoCal right me being a hashtag broke girl who was couch hopping decided to get on seeking a

arrangements so I was filtering through these dudes and I came across a message that says I'm not interested in sex I just want companionship but I being about a boom there you go girl she says okay cool I share my location with a friend and I head out anyways I go to his place and I figure out why he doesn't want sex he has a choking fetish this man dead ass paid me $100

hours for 30 minutes of stepping on his neck 500 if I made him pass out and 1K if I broke his Adam's Apple what do I fuck what there's no way but like there is a little low-key would you do it 1K just like I'm that fucking shit down okay to be honest you would and that's fine and I respect you for that I would

curb stomp curb stomp that bitch know right when he just fucking pop that shit I stepping on his throat for a hundred bucks for 30 minutes stepping on the throat yes to break his Adam's apple and like potentially kill him I would be like I need time k no I because literally what do you do you just stand there while he's screaming you like pop your are pods in writing listening to some fucking music like what if you had to drive him to the hospital because you want to just let him like bleed out and die on the floor

what the fuck do you say I found him on the side of the road if someone curb stomp to I don't know what's going on no dude that is like fucking awkward but also amazing good for you girl for like getting that cash because she ended up saying that it literally paid her bills wow that's some like amazing shit like maybe it's an awkward for a second but right like where the combat boots over there you know right here and maybe if you want to spice them next time like bring those stilettos right really show that Adam's Apple who's boss like okay okay gone but the

they're people that were writing and I mean we got so many different comments if you guys want us to read more we can Tan x another episode but this person was talking about how she was in a situation it was a financial dominant situation and the guy loved her to humiliate him in private and in public and she would straight up put him on a leash and walk him around and dog him around like a dog and go to the ATM and make him take out cash and then slap him with the cow

cash like uh a make this shit up she's walking him in public in public please let me tell you the most outrageous part of all of these from the daddy thing that I thought was the most injured well no I yeah obviously that's very interesting what I just said one of the craziest parts of most of the DM that I got was that a lot of these men are well known men are like hi I remember them like this one girl was like dude this guy is a VP of a pharmaceutical company and like

well known though one girl the one girl who wrote in let me just take over here here she comes this girl wrote in and I was shocked that she even included the man's name to this guy daddy gang I want to say his name is so fucking badly because he legitimately is one of the richest men in the world literally not Jeff Bezos but in the same crew yes like these Keys been on bezos's yeah type as shit yes and we were going to say his name because we're because a little reckless

contact the loud side and we asked a few people and they were like you girls are fucking dumb I thought you were done before and now you're really dumb this guy will come after you and you will have to enter the witness protection program we're like we're like well it will make it so much better you don't understand like saying his name will elevate it like number one on the charts come on they're like yeah that's fine and then your life is ruined all of a sudden we like put his name in here and we're never seen again the first name rhymes with schmear okay

good job Mary yeah but anyways it was actually also kind of like a crazy story because the girl didn't believe it was gonna be him then he showed up and it was him and he's literally in his 70s and this girl is 19 years old who just like that with you on your journey moment of silence yeah he's he has some issues yeah yeah let's just put it but grab her she met bang Mo Money Mo Problems I swear to God the Richer the guy like the weirder kinkier shit

he want yeah we love telling you okay moving on there's someone who have the story of Their Own

I remember it like it was yesterday guys okay our very own Alex guys all right was it when you got laid off from your job I forgot yes yes so Alex was a little Desperado I was like I want fucking cash and I won't cash quick yep I was sitting with Sophia I remember it very fondly we were sitting and I was like dude you have so many friends I feel like that have been on seeking Arrangements like should I get on it you were like absolutely get that cash but I was the

is a reason and I really pushed for her to make the pros

we actually had like a lot of fucking guys so fun so fun like coming up with a profile like coming up with my name yeah use the word like blue like the name oh yeah was it Alexis or Blake I think I remember you turning to me and being like what do I look like what was his name I'm like you could literally say your name was like fucking candy I Kan Kan but II think I went with Blake so I got on seeking Arrangement this is

big this you know how many girls would not admit that they got on there I know I don't give a fuck I'm fucking carry okay so I get on seeking Arrangements I've never been on the app I had not really heard about it until Sofia you got it up so I'm like okay great so I'm perusing around and I have like randos messaging me and it's weird because I'm pretty sure I had to give like my phone number to transition off of it and I didn't want to do that but

why you did it anyways I remember guys this literally sounded like this like he was Lewis in his 90s okay so this guy will never forget this guy messaged me and he was like I do not want anything sexual I'm looking for companionship and you're like a lot about him being bada-boom here I can watch Gossip Girl and Tha this old ass dude abso-fucking-lutely let's go Harry yes so Harry calls

him and he is ice cream is pretty much sounded hey that sounded like he was in a hospital they Christian he's normal I got a call from him I start screaming I run into Sophia's room I'm like holy fuck he's calling me what the hell does this dude this motherfucker had to have been pushing 80 like oh sorry I'm pushing 80 I'm gonna be pushing 90 it illegal to conk out at any moment

so he's like hi Blake like I love the sound of your voice was I remember you I love how it's pretty much like oh hi Mark how I remember him saying he wanted to take care of you and this is another tip yeah these types of men love when girls play it off like they're just trying to get a good education and like just need a little help like getting their diploma yeah I was like I'm living in New York and it's really hard and like

a college student iron he got his dick hard when you said that early started masturbating on this no I'm just yeah so he starts being like listen like this is this is going to be a great like you know companionship and like I would love to talk you're like yeah Buddy Buddy Buddy Buddy Buddy Buddy Buddy so it was kind of a strange Arrangement I'm pretty sure I'm I'm actually pretty sure he had told me that he wanted to Mentor

for me okay that is such an old person thing I fucking say I want to be your Mentor kids like mentorship program and I'm like oh but like you pay me I don't pay you for that program no but he the point is also like he didn't he didn't want anything sexual no shit he didn't want anything sexual like his dick has not worked for the last seven years you really can't even get it up if he tried 10 viagra's and it's like

little baby we like his dick has not work since he fucking got a Purple Heart in the Vietnam War

like this guy was old I don't know if he was 90 Sophia but he was pushing he was pushing he was pushing towards the light and and I felt I felt comforted by knowing that I felt good knowing that like he couldn't do anything right so that was like not an issue but then I remember him being like well I actually have like an apartment in New York and I would love for you to just come over right and your likes me and I'm like me go

over this way it like my grandpa's house to you warm embrace my grandma my grandpa hold my grandpa I don't think so I don't know I feel like he's like honey I just need a sponge bath you got over here I'm like Gramps you would like that would be one instance though that I would feel perfectly safe with you going over there like if you guys caught in a wrestling match you would fucking idiot

getting in a wrestling match he can't move a limb dude this guy is literally bedridden I show up he is like a nurse and I go sit in just like we hold hands like yo you could steal this guys fucking Walker stealing all it I don't walk out in his walker and stole his wallet and and just been like piece hairy dude I'm not kidding guys guys this guy really sound like old crop top

so one of the cutest things he actually offered me during our two days of speaking was he was like and listen if you have a car in the city I have a car spot in dude I have a parking spot in a lot that you could use I'm like Harry Harry you're out doing yourself oh my God I mean

to be fair a parking spot in New York is like so expensive car I'm right here you don't have a car like do you want to buy me one right so that was awesome and then I ended up just blocking him because I was like getting grossed out with how old he was and the whole sponge bath yeah my whole Harry Harry almost wanted to much involved he did like he was the type that was like let's talk for four hours on the phone tonight wouldn't get all like at times I'm pretty sure I made you speak at one point I think it is yeah difference between our voice I think you did make me go on the phone and I was like listen here

you're like Harry just fucking bad you're if you're not gonna venmo me now companionship has to take a seat okay terminated yeah so that was like my first experience and I was like wow this is off to a great alrighty Harry there's no way he's still happy with us running for no no bless his soul and his little heart no so that was my first experience on seeking arrangements and of Applause what a kickoff

what Harry I will always remember you you broke me and it wasn't really got you I also think Harry kind of scared you a little bit because then you got way younger with the guy hi guys we're not going to talk about on this episode I'm going to tell my full seeking Arrangement story when the trail is revealed because yeah then I was like I'm not fucking around and talking to these nine-year-old I don't need a

and then I want fucking cash and I want it quick and so I'm going to tell you guys because there's situation and I did meet up with the guy and Sophia did so I escorted her to her seeking Arrangement and she was there and a lot of shit went down so that's an exciting story were excited to tell you guys but that was it that was fun there's something really special about staying at home and it's playing at home and when I say playing I mean playing with yourself playing with yourself

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daddy um okay let's talk about sex finally but I like I'm like what are we doing dude quarantine is like making me horny like I feel like I have cabin fever I feel like I want to have sex more than I've ever wanted to have sex it's like a weird time because you have all the time in the world but it is kind of funny the fucking people that because listen I'm you're going and occasionally trying to see suit man but you're not quarantined with him and all the

that I'm talking to I'm not obviously with there are so many people that are dming us being like I actually thought that like my girlfriend was the love of my life and we were gonna get married and I stand her yeah and it's like holy shit people being quarantined together I thought for a minute that I wanted to be quarantine was Slim Shady and now I'm like blessings on blessings that we're just doing phase times yeah because my God I totally got you're gonna get so sick of people yeah anyways sorry sack

so Alex and I we had all these ideas and we were like these sex moves are so good that people are going to want to leave their house and not practice social distancing and hop on the dick and we don't want to do that we want to give you guys a tip that you can do from the comfort of your own home horn okay Edition yes because we're always thinking outside the box here so let's just say you're in the middle of sexting okay everyone envision your sexting your guy

your girl there in anywhere and teen pants you're not quarantine get up you look terrible but you're sassing and you sent him nudes before and you want to spice it up yeah or you haven't sent him nude yeah you want to just this place it up okay Sophie we're not all whores over here okay you can be sending a voice memo it sounds kind of strange but it really is so underrated so the way that let me give

an example because people are like what do you mean a voice message like hey what up babe I'm horny type and later huh if you're in the middle of sexting and you guys are getting to the point where it's been established yeah he's wanking it you're touching yourself hmm out of nowhere you can send him a voice memo and you could in your sexy voice I can't emphasize that enough yeah you can say something like oh my God I'm touching myself right now and I'm getting so fucked

where I think I'm going to come soon boom something like that something that was a rough that was a rough draft that was a rough draft what I would actually say so the point though is this man is sitting on his couch and he sees he has a voice memo from you and this is play and he hears you saying oh my God baby I'm so wet I'm sorry any man is going to freak the fuck out that is so fucking hot again

emphasis on the sexy voice that's that's the key and you could even throw in like a slight mon yes you could say oh my God my fingers are going all the way in my God like I'm so horny baby I can't believe I just so the point is and I want to specify to you laid out the scene of that their sex sting I'm gonna go ahead and say that you guys can do this also when you're not sexy

partner yeah catch them off guard catch them off guard little morning audio message to your man yeah okay you're going to wake up and you he has no idea you're going to even hit him with it and you're going to be like oh my gosh babe I woke up so horny this morning I had to touch myself I'm so wet right now thinking about blah blah blah your hard cock whatever right go ham one I'm telling you know bitches are doing this really no bitches are doing I'm gonna stand out and that's been something I think a lot of people have anxiety about

right now you can't see your hook up buddy how do I stand out this fucking voice memo you guys yes waking up and sending him a fucking voice memo saying you're so fucking high knee and your voice just sounds like you are a little sex kitten its breath via Mone it's you're horny your wet like you're giving him the details and he's gonna be like what the fuck yes whoa whoa we underestimate the power of our voices do we got

good metaphor for a bigger face we very I am now just yeah uh a woman's voice got can get a guy hard oh so hard can we discuss just quickly ASMR yes we're not really going to get into it but the whole ASMR porn yeah phase is really ramping up its I've talked to men about this and they're one of my friends that's a guy yeah he said that he will watch ASMR erotica

and that's how he'll get off you would we hot we need to talk about ASMR maybe next week because I was visiting Slim Shady and I wanted to see if he would get turned on by it so I got on PornHub I pulled up a video of this girl doing ASMR erotica and as we were laying there listening to her and watching her I felt my underwear moved to the side it was a ghost

what do you mean you felt your underarms just my underwear slid to the side what do you panty no slim Slim Shady was getting turned on and he's reported fingering me okay not a ghost Slim Shady was getting turned on he starts fingering me one thing led to another with the ASMR playing we started having sex and while and it kept playing on the bed

the sex was so fucking good you guys because I think having that ASMR elevated the whole experience I mean imagine hearing the moaning and this girl saying slutty things and making like the smacking sex noises into a microphone I could tell it surprised him and was like turning him on it turned me on right I was doing the fuck out of I lo que would be jealous might be like if you just want to like watch heard and of course your mind goes right out no so

I'm kidding I could totally see that like a man could not get away with it men don't even fucking try to send a fucking voice message or smrt your girl please don't can you imagine Rebecca good morning morning wood four days woke up with the biggest heart I'm like no shit no shit Johnny we already know that you're fucking hard 24/7 Rebecca doesn't need a fucking voice memo to reminder yes this only works with girl no

and when we say voice memos what we mean is the voice text message option that you can send on an iPhone where you hold down the recording button and then slide up to send I mean you're welcome we got to get creative we do and I think that's like one of the most creative things also I do want to bring up because I was re listening to one of our episodes and I forgot about how underrated this is to if you guys aren't using if you have an iPhone sorry for all the fucking losers with galaxies I'm just kidding but if

you are not using the invisible ink yes feature in your text messages when you're sexting and texting your significant other your partner you're missing out yeah I always forget to use this feature again guys if you don't know what the invisible ink thing is it's a feature that sends your text message completely blurred yep and you have to press on the message to reveal what they're saying you can also do

bilang Khan pictures and videos which I learned the hard way I awoke I was sexting suit man okay and he was working like he was like with his colleagues and I sent him a video and I forgot to put invisible ink and he literally wrote back he was like invisible ink next time please give my heart away but that oh amazing that that means that you guys use it so much that yeah that wouldn't you get an invisible ink they know its sexual its prey

to cool and hot it's exciting yeah like when you get that invisible ink you know they're getting NOS you know it's about to eat dirt so you kind of owe guys quarantine does not stop the sext game no it only heightened it and like maybe make you guys almost closer because you're going to try new shit yes you're going to need at least seven go to outfits for when this Corona shit is over because you're going to be going out back to back to back and I know a lot of people listening do not have personal stylist and

why you needs to yeah guys Stitch fix is an online personal styling service that delivers your favorite clothing shoes and accessories directly to you they have really well-known brands that you love and exclusive styles that you won't find anywhere also your personal stylist is going to talk to you about what your style is and they're going to pick hand-picked items put them in a box ship them to you and then you keep whatever you like and send back what you don't like there's no subscription required also you can pick between automatic shipments or only

New pieces on demand shipping exchanges and returns are always free plus the $20 styling fee is automatically applied towards anything you keep from your box and they have solutions for women men and kids all over the US and now that UK yeah guys I know a lot of men have written it and been like Oh wait shit thank you so much that was actually really helpful and women also and Sophia and I are thankful for that so you're gonna go to stitch fix.com / Daddy and you're gonna get an extra 25% off when you keep

everything in your box again that is Stitch fix.com - daddy wow Corona what a time what a time to be alive I have been yours I think that another time to be alive is when we enter a little region a little region I like to call

questions of the motherfucking white Vive on this like questions of the way okay guys this is exciting look wait for you okay I literally thought to any of this oh my God you forgot about questions bitch this is a story time

so this girl wrote in and said I used to sneak this guy into my basement to hook up in high school my older brother was always home so instead of letting him go upstairs to pee and expose my top secret mission I would make him pee in a water bottle and then hide it in the storage closet one day my mom was going to take Christmas decorations out and came a good 2 centimeters

I'm kicking the bottle of pee every day I wonder how I would have explained a bottle of p in the basement Oh I thought she was going to say there's like multiple bottles of well I think there might be but she said every day I wonder how I would have explained a bottle of p in the basement I want to applaud this is so good it's so good and I'm trying to think of the lengths I've gone to to like oh hi my hookup but I also just want to point out

once why can't you just take the bottle of P to the bathroom with you yeah why doesn't she like ours is your brother like on high alert and just watching you at all time come up from the basement he's like what's in the hands right so the hands show the bod is that hands up hands up hands up no literally you know I think that maybe like you were so brilliant up until the point where like you could have gone down once he's gone and quickly grabbed it and shoved it down your pants and then like poured it out somewhere

yes or even poured it out your window or something I guess maybe this girl was sneaking him in so frequently and there were like 30 balls like too much it was like a full-blown case of Poland Spring at that point all yellow and it's like whoa also you know what you need to do instruct the bitch boy to pee before he enters the house fucking wrap it up get it done and then come through allowed to urinate and then come in through the window okay and some rules in place yes when your

in high school you think you're brilliant oh my God you're not the amount of times I snuck out and left the window white my heart I have my my Dad's credit card yeah I or this is like pretty fucking pathetic my bedroom in my house goes down to our like patio deck thing oh my God you ordered a row I bought one of those ladders that you could throw out your window and I literally plan to escape multiple night and yeah my dad was like hey I just saw that

but a rope ladder so like you fucking moron I like I'm going to put up Christmas lights I'm like Dad so you do shit when you're younger and you're like yeah how how would you explain that I would be like I have the worst UTI couldn't even make it to the bathroom I literally was actually not that bad or literally just like I have no fucking idea yeah and then you blame it on your brother yeah

as who are you yeah oh I have one that is for normal life but you can also do this in Corona time okay ready yes hi Daddy's I just wanted to share a trick to make your man feel insecure oh love it we love that okay order flowers to be delivered to your house / work so house right now because Corona

write in the note like for someone special or something flirty act super grateful like oh my God babe thank you so much for the sweetest and then he's going to get confused and insecure because he obviously didn't send you the flowers and he's gonna think some other guy must have wow this is like make them insecure 101 women have been doing this for centuries this is so good during Corona time if I fucking send myself

sell flowers and I sent a little pick yeah the Canadian or soup man yeah I'm like babe you shouldn't have he's gonna be like I didn't write what's your address yes kind of honest about bigger bouquets yeah I think that's like pretty fucking brilliant it is guys spice it up with a little fucking thing we like to call insecurity in quarantine okay

so this person wrote in and I know we've talked about this before but I feel like I had a lot of girls recently writing this in so it was Sophia this relates to both of us hey father's I am a junior in college talking to a 27 year old law student is a sixth year age Gap too big of a gap I think it's too small of me me too I want you to really push your limits and like get up there no so

and I have both dated older guys I was in a relationship with a guy that was 13 years older than me yeah I wasn't when were they were 17 years older he was 17 years older than yeah there was someone I dated and he in every time I say that people are like oh so like sugar daddy and no oh no that's it no paid for Mom yes um so I don't know I think there's a lot of people that are super insecure about dating and the age Gap

cap and I unless you are literally 19 years old dating a 60 year old yes or like even a forty-year-old like I get it but when you're in your 20s once you're in your 20s you can you can really have a guy's the room yeah you can really push that roof high and above I I can't believe she's I mean she's worried about six years I don't think there's an issue without it all and what I do want to say is it's true women mature

way faster than men yeah so like when you're dating a 23 year old guy you're dating someone with the mentality of a seventeen-year-old no straight up so I hop I almost think can be good I also just want to point out I have never gone out of my way to try to date older me too it's just happen that way and I think it's partly because when they're in their 20s they don't want to fucking settle down right not that that's what I was looking for but

why you end up being in a relationship with a guy that's looking for relationship yeah that's such a good point I feel like it's like we are attracted to guys that are a bit older because one they're more mature but to yeah if you wanted something like they're kind of the guys to do you're going to end up being in a relationship with someone that wants to be in a relationship and a lot of timing guys in their twenties don't exactly do you remember when we used to live in the 301 we were like our mission is to fuck a couple College oh yeah

eager to please but yeah I don't need to like you don't need to get nervous that they're going to think that we'd be in a relationship right um so yeah I don't know I don't think you should ever be in town for about an age Gap unless it's visibly obvious at this man's about to croak out and you're like young and fresh and Lang six years is nothing it really isn't so you're a good girl okay yeah well this is drama

take a little sip of that coffee and that Mimosa here we go whoa so I dated a guy for two years and I broke up with him because things just weren't working out anymore we blocked each other on everything and moved on about a month later drunk at a party I fucked one of his best friends my ex doesn't know about this and we agreed to keep it a secret after having some time apart from my ex I want to get back together

with him I'm afraid his best friend will rat us out to spite me for getting back together with him should I get back together with him and tell him that I fucked his best friend or should I keep it to myself and hope that his friend doesn't Ravis out help me die oh my God oh my God so I feel so bad oh because it's like they had a drunken right hook up she was broken up right but imagine

ajan if you broke up with a guy yeah and then he fucked me and then I'm already I'm getting mad he wanted to get back together with you I mean could you ever get over that I don't think I could no no but girls are also different brocade also think guys are almost worse different sometime sometime because I do this is a thing and all this is fucking hard because men we kind of have talked about in the past men if they're just trying to fuck you

they don't care if their boys have usually done today eight you is a complete different topic and if you have fucked one of their boys like I've talked about the Canadian with about this he's like if you fucked one of my really good friends I hi Mom but I haven't fucked yet yeah but he's like if you fucked one of my really good friends I would be really annoyed and I wouldn't want to date you so I need to keep that in mind but um but that it is different for men they yeah there's something about they don't give a fuck if they're fucking around but the

the dating thing for them they like their precious little cargo yep so I could see your ex literally yes never wanting to get back with you because of this but you have to tell him yeah because yeah there might be a slim chance that he decides to be like she was honest about it they were drunk whatever I'm like look past this there is a chance yeah if you don't tell him you're going to be living in fear your whole living in fear if

best friend does rat you out so completely fuck yeah you're going to be so cut off and you're going to be getting the text of like you're such a fucking whore your wire you're a slut you're kind of this or that and like know how do you realistically move forward without saying anything like imagine if they like get engaged like at their wedding the best friend is like the best man and like has been inside hey I'm like rearrange your gut right yeah that's not um hmm so there's no win-win here you you just gotta

to tell him you you yeah unless you 100% knew without a doubt the friend would take it to the grave and that's a shitty thing is let's say he does take it to the Grave like you just said the wedding thing but like there is a part of me that just doesn't even feel like that would be good for your mental health because to live in fear and to have that hanging over your head you would lose your shit yeah you would eventually I think end up wanting to tell him just so it's off your chest

so if you want to get back together with him you have to tell him yeah and then you know he may not want to get back together with you but it would it's better you tell him now than later in the relationship because I'm telling you will be 10 times per second reaction is if he finds out that you led him to date you again and and failed to bring this up to him right yeah that's gonna completely ruin his relationship is best friend actually either way it probably yeah so wow hey guys

story time so the other weekend my boyfriend was eating me out and I happen to have my phone next to me for some reason while he was eating me out I got on my phone and looked up lesbian porn I watched about 40 seconds of the two girls eating each other out before I had a crazy good orgasm after I went to the bathroom to pee and left my phone in his room and I'm pretty sure he opened up my phone and saw the lesbian girls going down on each other do I bring this

up to him help

oh wow okay we I'm a little confused how he didn't notice her right grabbing her phone but I mean I guess like I guess sometimes guys really go swimming in there and they'll get deepen and like they don't make I die on top yeah like I mean we tell men don't make I don't look up but I feel like I usually every time I'm looking at the guy eating me out right answer but I really do think I could get away with grabbing my phone and looking up horn that's actually a really good pie do you think I could get away with it a I kind of just want to do it because

we I think I would have an orgasm wait me back yeah I really do think so but that's not the point the brightest found her phone okay I you need to bring it up if you if you well if you think he opened though aren't we all know but I kind of feel like a part of me is like it let him be a man and bring it up if he's not going to fucking say that's true then like why the fuck are you why no I'm not gonna wait up I got off I had a good time if you have an issue

she would it bring it up to me but like who doesn't know for sure if he opened the phone and if he did why the fuck isn't he saying something right I mean it is his fault for grabbing your phone I guess I'm just trying to understand I would kind of feel bad I don't have my phone Shady would be like I'd never eating you out again because like what the fuck yeah like what is that about and you want him to eat you out again so with that in mind maybe just bring it up and be like

okay you opened my phone and then just make a comment be like the way you eat me out is the biggest turn-on you're so good at it I had this porn open from like last night when I was watching it and I just thought it would be kind of fun and hot and I had the best orgasm or I feel like what I would probably do if I was worried that he was gonna get insecure I may not even bring up the fact that he saw it later in a conversation I would be like babe like I don't know what it has been lately but like I have

in like masturbating to lesbian porn and it's so hot and like I want you to eat me out and I want to watch it and like let's watch more porn together like and maybe next time you do that and that yeah so that he then is like oh because if you kind of explain it then maybe he's going to feel better about it guys are weird with some I was about to say this like they get insecure and in their own head and so it you have to be kind of careful I was about to say I think a lot of guys don't understand that for girls even if they're straight

it's a turn-on for them to watch girl-on-girl and he might be like yeah my low-key dating a lesbian no it's so I'm like shocked right now because of Heart of music I almost like want to do this me too because I I really enjoy girl-on-girl porn like ìyeah it me too sometimes probably more than a humble porn and I think that like that could height in total orgasm especially girls if you are masturbating to that kind of porn

and then you are able to bring that into the bedroom any girls that may have issues coming yep maybe because you try this out and literally explain him like oh my God I want to watch porn while yeah like I think it will like tenfold make my orgasm that much stronger babe and then he's gonna kill ya do whatever the fuck you were right and then just don't do it every fuckin yeah then no then he's gonna like so you want a girl eating your pussy right now right that thought so good luck wow maybe bring it up yeah

that's fucking good well hey Dottie my husband and I love your podcast and need your help we've had a threesome before with one of my co-workers but it wasn't planned we were out of work event and she got a little tipsy and I asked if she could come back to our place and spend the night long story short we really enjoyed it and had a great time since then we've been looking for another girl to have a threesome with and tried going to bars and clubs like you said but haven't had

any luck I downloaded an app called third ER it's the number three rder that some couple friends of ours use but I have no idea what to put in the bio any advice on how to find a girl Who's down to be with couples also what should I put under info on the dating app thank you we that is like I did not even know that existed and that's so amazing I didn't know that either third or so I think that this guy

is question is like it was actually the girl okay but the prop the fact that she's asking like why don't know what to put in the bayou and stuff the fact that you're just on that top everyone is looking for a third so you can be pretty blonde right it's not like a secret while you're looking for right right so if anything I think that you could be specific if anything you could be specific but I think that what you should do because the third person that you bring in some

times it can be a little bit scary right you're like I'm about to enter a home of not one but two people that I never met right I would put something in the bio that kind of made it more casual like I would say something about just looking to hang out and if things if we hit it off then like we can go from there I don't know exactly you would ride the Bayou but well a part of me is like but again they're on everyone is on that app to have a threesome yes so if I bet you people are still hesitant

yeah so I think you can also just maybe like give a little explanation of like you and your boyfriend yeah and like what you got like about you guys so that person feels more comfortable but this app is pretty fucking brilliant is like I would almost encourage everyone that's always been asking is like where the fuck do I get 1/3 yeah yeah look the app I've never heard of any to I want to go home there okay this is interesting Sofia with an f and Alex with an a thank you thank you

yeah I need help I am juggling two guys one I am just sleeping with will call him Jay and then the other one I want to date we'll call him Ray I don't answer re the guy want to date when I'm with Jay and hooking up and he's starting to get suspicious and I don't know what to say back when he calls me out re the guy want a date will also say like do you not text me when you're with us

guys like and he's obviously saying it because he doesn't want me to be seeing this other guy and I always have to come up with a lie and I suppose I could get rid of J but the dick is too good and I'm not really sleeping fully with Ray yeah I just want to date him and I know there could be a future what do you guys think how do I keep re around but still continue to fuck J I remember when I first started fucking Slim Shady again and I was talking to the Canadian right

and in the very beginning I would go over to see Slim Shady and the Canadian and I before Slim Shady and I had started talking would FaceTime every single night without a doubt got it when Slim Shady came back all of a sudden Alex wasn't around am IA I write for phase times then the same situation happened to me when I went and visited the Canadian and Slim Shady was like why aren't you answering my phase time right juggling two men is hard work it is

it really it is hard work what I have to say is like this is fucked up but when you know you're going to be going and hanging out with that guy yeah there's two things I would suggest one is come up with a lie before you get to the the hook I was the guy as a reason why you're going to be Mia hey I'm having a girls night I got boom or to lie and be like my mom came to visit like I've said that for my mom's in the city I'm

great dinner with her like I can't really talk tonight kind of thing yeah or what you should do is that day take each time you're texting take like hours to respond so it's not that random out of nowhere like just say sorry been like super busy today you can say that the next day but so then he doesn't know like wait was it just at night she went on my it's more like a the whole day she's been a little distant yeah it's hard but I do think you can

manages and I just think that even if you are with Jay yeah you can go into the restroom and do a little prioritize and just make sure that you like hit Ray with the tag I actually think that's so true there's multiple times that I've been with one of them yeah and I and he like goes to get us water and I quickly said like a little question or something so he thinks that I'm writing Shady yeah so not that I owe them

anything but like it is it does get a little dicey when they know you're like oh you're fucking another do they get guys get annoyed territorial yeah and also maybe this is the time to like explore with Ray like okay well what are we doing I was just gonna yes what do I owe you big yeah like oh well why do you care like maybe use this almost too kind of fuel like a progression of the relationship because I know that that has really been I've almost used my relationships with the other

there is to help fuel like getting answers from the other one yeah and it's a good tactic it is you just got to be very strategic yep oh I remember those days juggling ooh it's hard but it's fun it is very fun it is okay Daddy Gatti's oh the trail

got Trail the trail is going to be taken off pause soon we're going to keep chugging there's gonna be a finale to the trail yes and we want you all to just get excited because I think there are some people freaking out with adjust Trail mean oh my God is it and is it what is it well it's just the beginning will become clear and moms love you guys so much the corona time the quarantine I mean I know you guys are probably struggling over there so we're we know that you're not alone and listen to

color daddy episodes and enjoy share it with your friends fucking start a caller Daddy Book Club yep take notes we're going to be recording from home I Buzz is getting a little too strong I need to go lay down I love you all guys go follow us on social media Alexandra Cooper Alex within a Cooper with the see Sophia Franklin Sophia with enough Franklin with a why all right Daddy's we love you we love you every fucking when goodbye