38- Welcome to Slut Camp

Jun 4, 2019

The girls are discussing shower sex, panic boners, and Slut Camp. Yes, you heard that right. Welcome to Slut Camp, where you will learn how to conceal the slut and trick your man into thinking you are wifey material. Everyone deserves a slut phase with no repercussions! They also talk poop fetishes and where they originated (army bases?), embarrassing things bitches are doing on instagram, and last but not least, Alex tells a tragic tale involving her a** hole, a penis,  and a cheating scandal. 

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if you call him daddy do I call her daddy call her daddy

hello Daddy Daddy's it's call her daddy we're back at it again fathers and our presenting sponsor of course is Roman swipes Roman swipes oh my gosh literally a swipe that you swipe on to your dick to make sure that you last longer in bed come on people these swipes are changing the fucking game daddies and we've said it once and I'll say it again

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there and go to pound town I'm recording this in like a very horny state so I just want everyone to get in the mood you're horny right now kind of well you just had porn on your computer playing before we started so well that's for research purposes that's not why I love this job what's up guys we're back at it again it's fucking Wednesday who's pumped I'm fucking Humpty pumped you up in this bitch I'm hungover but what's new

but what's new I wanted to before we get into the episode talk about the shit that is happening around New York City New York City is buzzing insects buzzing around Alex and I were on our way to work and you cannot make this shit up nope we us going to work or the shit that we're about to see I get it I never go to work headline yeah okay we were walking to work and I turned to Alex and this actually came out of my mouth I have

you like Alex I think there were gonna have to take another street because there's a huge giant ball of yarn rolling down the sidewalk I'm like yeah let's take a different Road that's take a very different Road guys this is a shit you see a New Yorker was an actual ginormous ball of yarn taking up the entire sidewalk and a we couldn't take it and no one was with the yarn it's like are we Dewayne ah

hold the fucking side I felt like I was in like a video game or like a fairy tale like door ebook will cross the bridge to avoid the fire breathing dragon and go over here and cross the moat and get to the castle like why is there a giant underground and go upstairs and go to the castle I asked her giant ball of yarn on this side unattended unattended just sitting I'm like does anyone want to take care of the yarn exact so I can walk my normal route to work yes someone grab your yarn please

come pick up your yarn guy anyways dude New York is such a fucking crazy place to live I mean I fucking love it you you never know what to expect but Alex and I were talking about this the other day there is this thing and I want to know if the daddy Gang has ever heard of this before because our friend brought it up to us and I was like there's no fucking way men get boners when they're in a fight or flight situation fuck I forgot like that it's like a phenomenon

like this thing that happened like a panic boner like literally a panic have you ever heard of that it is no Hannibal - leave it up to men to get sexually aroused in the face of danger like why why wait if you guys are wondering if guys are actually Old Barney all day long here's your proof that there's no fucking true like a bear shows up on their on their camping trip and they quickly get

hard on dude I yeah imagine if like you got in like a really bad like you got fucking shot and your guy friend comes over like so upset and he's trying to like hold your wound down with his hand a huge bone and he's got like a boner and you feel his boner on your leg has he's like holding your with I'm higher than to say his friend comes over and hold his Bona down oh Sophia but okay no that's crazy and I mean I don't think it happens every fucking time but like it's

the thing that can happen so if something scary or startling happens there are times when guys get hot fucking and I don't think that the penis grows I think it just gets hard if that makes any sense oh we I actually get to know sweetly made that up if you guys were wondering I have a day we do not do any research and we just come in here and say whatever the fuck we just block out and make sure we that's kind of fucking crazy I would actually like all of our daddy guys to write in

doo-doo-doo-doo-doo sluts listen up we have slut Camp welcome to slut Camp I'm fucking out today at camp we are teaching slats how to pretend that they are proved slugged him not a joke look cam commence um okay slut Camp black him every girl has had a fucking slutty face yep you've had the biggest fucking slut I mean I'm having come out of it hello

my life my life is one big slutty well you need to go to like stop like throwing yourself on the but I'm you know I'm in my slutty phase II don't worry sweetheart or okay the slut face or the slutty reputation every girl maybe has has it or maybe if you're an angel good for you good for you girls can have a slutty reputation for a number of reasons Party Girls yeah like if you're a girl and you like to party even if you're not fucking people assume like yours you're a slut

so every slut though through their slut face or after their slut face has that moment where she's like Robert she's like Robert could be the one I found him I'm ready to let go of my fucking sliding days Prince Charming she thinks she needs her prince charming and she probably does and that a lot of times it's like I'm sorry Becky that's fucking great for you but Robert absolutely is not ready to settle down with your fucking host Slinky ass bitch ass laugh so pretty much what we're trying to

to tell you is this is how you're going to make the guy take you seriously yeah but we are training you to give the guy you're interested in just the amount right amount of signs to paint the picture that you're a wholesome ass bitch it's a balancing act look I have been there before yeah I remember in college I really liked this guy but I had this reputation is like a party girl course you did sweetheart hey slut right and he just did not

to go there with me so do I wish I had slut Camp Back Then absolutely oh I love that I could trick this bitch trick them so I think we should get right into just like addressing sex because the slots are going to have that sack I mean Alex I have a fucking sex podcast so you can imagine the pretending we have to do we got to downplay right I don't know how to if there's anyone that should be teaching this course at Camp it's us Camp slots

okay so basically all my hose out there I know obviously your immediate reaction when you're going in to have sex with this guy it's too fucking flip upside down fucking take his dick straight to the back of your throat hit your what is it a larynx throw up and swallow it keep sucking like you're gonna go ham on his dick there needs to be a strategy when it comes to fucking a guy if you're like a huge crazy slut in bed yeah I completely agree okay Milf Hunter was in the situation recently

he had this girl he says that he was about to hook up with she was coming off very convincing saying she was like I haven't really done this a lot like I have not really good at this stuff she starts hooking up with him when straight down to give him fucking head oh and didn't she like perform like a glug glug turbocharged horse power vacuum seals with the fucking 3

hand twist this bitch starts jacking him off with to handle all of a sudden her fucking foot lit up it goes in three her feet get involved somehow real though like wasn't so she went in there and she was like I've never done swear and then didn't she end up being like give me a fucking facial or she was like drench me and come or something like that dude he was straight up gagging so hard on his goddamn fucking dick her mouth was at the base of his penis like deepthroating as if it was like the easiest thing in the world her air passage was

seconds away from closing its fucking bright red flooding out here she's like okay I get it okay we've given him okay sorry but the point I hate that cat it okay so this is the problem though is when a girl tries to go in there and act innocent or inexperience and they're clearly not yeah you end up looking like a liar yes that is what we're trying to explain by this very graphic story you guys need us to fuckin do that one again - no milk Hunter

added up saying that this girl basically came off as an even bigger slut than if she had just not said anything or if she had more so just been like even up front about her past if it was even brought up when you go in there and you act too innocent and then all of a sudden you are fucking swirling make twirling on his goddamn fucking dick pulling out your goddamn after fucking Panic that he's never even seen Lisa and do or sucking dick nastier than fucking Riley Reid he's gonna be like

I see right fuck yeah through this Becky so transparent you little transparent okay so let what she should have done is what should she have done so Phoebe what she should have done is she should have even addressed her past yeah likewise okay I just like I've never really done yeah like don't bring a fucking attention to it if you know you have a reputation you need to go in there and you are not giving your grade A

plus plus plus stripper game on his dick I think a lot of hos go in there thinking like oh my God if I want him to see me again I need to impress him and pull all the stops as long as you're giving him decent sex and you're not fucking biting on his dick don't be bad no no no we're just saying you don't need to put this man in a coma thank you don't need it like give him a great performance yes enjoy yourself enjoy your time but don't be doing like this seriously slutty stuff

away don't be like you know cream pie my movie and like let's invite a girl over here so you can cream pie her and then I can lick it out of her and then spit it back in her mouth and then we make out with your come and like so we're just blacked out Judah came by my pussy and I'm gonna lick it out of your pussy way your dick my pussy her pussy somehow there's a third girl here and all of a sudden it's an orgy but I bet that's what I'm saying you can give him great sex but just don't

don't bring out sweetheart I think the fucking become Savage that we talked about in the fucking cum slut you are I agree that's a great one I think cream pie my fucking pussy this isn't girls this is the biggest tip I have for you guys the key is to be like we just said good in bed not crazy yeah but good in bed but you're the Allure is from your eagerness and

willingness to learn from him and I know all of you Slaughter like I don't need to fucking learn shit from this bitch let me explain militant I said right eagerness to learn melt under said it's the hottest thing when a girl who will come off as like inexperienced wants him to teach her how to give head Etc so like being like being like I want to suck your dick for you and make you feel so good but like be patient with me I'm not that good at it like tell me what you want me to do like I want you to teach me he said it's so

fucking hot when like I'm getting a pretty average ass blowjob I but when I'm like suck harder go down go faster go slower and she's doing everything I'm doing yeah well this bitch could be the biggest fucking freak right but what she's doing just teach me and what melt under said is looking down at her I'm like well fuck she's saying Teach me that means that she's asking me and know our guys out to say like it gives him like an ego boost yes and it's hot

it is hot and it's like oh wait she needs she's hotter to please me exactly and I'm going to take this bitch has in a sense away and a fucking strip this bitch of a goddamn anything it's really the little things you can do to paint the Suzy Homemaker vibes okay so please if you have an obvious reputation as a sloot as a slore the flung okay let's give them a scenario oh God damn look okay okay scenario number one

whoo the old you the old you this guy invites you up to his apartment okay you guys just finished your daytime go up to his place and he asked you if you would like tea or wine or if you'd like anything to drink the old you would be like you know double shot of Jagermeister like where's the shot ski and like the shot ski she like takes it by yourself who the fuck asked for

actually it's like yes what and a cum shot to the face like she's like can I have a shot like a cold shot on the side of that for dessert on my face that's what the old you would do the old you okay new you like he like goes to plug in his phone and turns around and you like somehow taken off all articles of clothing and snuck past him into his room he's like how do you do that so you could physically possible how are you naked in my room I turned around and plug my phone in

and she's like ready he's like no no whoa case of the new you know you and I knew you gonna do this is an opportunity this is a goddamn opportunity for you to prove yourself right this is where you can show your strength in the face of Temptation okay oh Mike we're quoting a bursary by dude your Eve you are all you've and they're an easy apple and the serpent is like please have

bye to this and you're gonna be like knock today Nick is the Serpent's dick and you're like the serpent not today motherfucker ahead of his dick is the Apple you will not put your mouth on it okay so oh my God okay so yeah the new you make him work for it a little bit yeah okay you don't be the one making the first move like grabbing her face and like inside like what him be the aggressor because if you initiate it kind of gives the vibe that you're like David down to fuck all right if he goes straight

for like the zipper on your pants slow it down a little kind of pull away kind of giggle little bit and be like okay like give me a second like just a decoy hey lots of like sex with clothes on dry hung me out to dry humping just make it work I love some good dry humping yes with a guy that you're just starting to hook up with that is so key because you you can get a little freaky with the dry ho yeah but then when it actually comes to the humping

little reserved yeah okay just his dick should not be in your mouth within like yeah 30 seconds of getting into his apartment and then when you go into that bedroom girls and you're going to fuck your easing into this motherfucker and his wiener okay just hide your sluttiness what about be a slut just don't want to know you know if you're really trying to play the fucking wholesome bitch card you show up to his goddamn apartment and what is the background on your phone you change that fucking thing to a background picture of your goddamn family I

care if it's your goddamn rescue dog or goddamn symbol of the nonprofit you don't work for but you're gonna pretend to work for tonight what's that simply like you and you're like UNICEF I mean I live breathe and die by it God I rarely have time to have sex because I'm always helping kids out I'm helping the less fortunate like Yeah The Dickhead out of the Bible on a rosary with you everywhere dude that's what they can do fucking

pull the born-again Christian car like that was in my past that was that was the old me that was then this is now you're so slow like shut the fuck up dude that's a good one that's a good one how else could you get really crazy ooh I mean this is call her daddy so get a artificial hymen kit thing excuse me know those you can like put it in your vagina so it makes it seem like you're a virgin because like blood will come out and he'll like think he like pop

your cherry still mirror virgin put that in there and hold on no no people just crash their car you don't use that on a regular basis so he's like wait you've never liked native thank you you've made every single by you sleep I tanks you were a virgin yeah look um I just pop my cherry I don't even know if that's even internally but like look he do it slut Camp is a beautiful place we did our research and

some of you have been fucked from the womb fucked right Adam you got you have been having sex right out of the vagina what are you came out and you were slapped you came out your name this is what it is your name fucked you forever is what we're trying to say there are some slutty fucking name's Lydia bloody mix letters in yes we like got carried away with talking about this slut situation and look who are the real honey there was actually like research and he was like these names of the most sad

sex or something our names were in on it Vanessa Amber Diana fuck tight Tiffany wait my one of my really good friends is named Diana love you love you love you / I love you Megan they see Crystal Renay Veronica Jessica Veronica Veronica Oak your mother's name but we didn't she change it though she just goes by her middle name I wonder why not

love you yeah how about Cindy oh I do not trust to Cindy and I am sorry if that's your name but and he Twirls around and flow down onto Dixon time is licking the come out of another girl's pussy what angel angel Jezebel no Becky Jezebel Jade Cardinal now okay now you're just pouring out of these ringing Alex is just saying name

zombies aren't even on tell me you have a minute J that's a little fucking oh a je lot of skirts yeah Jade well I just know the porn star Jade so yeah yeah yeah guys we're just hanging this because hoary not being a slut is fun oh okay we are not saying to change your ways lock no just you just got it be able to have your picking of all the bitch boys you want so you got to be able to conceal the sluttiness sometimes guys don't you agree with this your slutty past will only bother like a bitch

wait dude it's so like a mature adult it doesn't give a fuck if you used to like I have a lot of sex yeah a little fucking letter ass bitch just like y'all but maybe robber is a bitch boy and you know what love is a crazy thing so we're going to help you we want you to have the pick of the litter we want you to infiltrate the wholesome boys because by teaching the sluts how to not come off slutty you we can't be stopped I think the born-again Christian thing is like pretty really the way that people that are born

burning and get really upset this call her daddy podcast I heard her telling all these fucking whores to pretend they're born again Christian my mom is not happy right now honestly if it gets the job done all right so slut cam you guys have all graduated with flying colors we're gonna be doing a collab crowd out there to a slut cam segment once every month we should because I feel like we have so much more we can go into detail we can talk about our personal fucking experiences with

trying to tell people like you don't understand a sex podcast no not me like that's not me they give me lying the producer was popping off this week he was crazy literally have no producer no one produces this except you and I know nobody even checks before we release this podcast guys you know what we're saying yeah is like okay to be on the internet people don't realize that nobody gives us the okay for like good Loki release something and release it to however many people and get

it fucked over fucked over yeah so there we go we're lawyer up okay all right you Cora here we go everyone is getting a UTI okay raise maybe not every single person but one in five women will struggle with chronic UTIs in their lifetime yeah if you're banging it out a lot if you're being a little slutty and if you're even if you're not being studying you have a short urinary okay fine that's your doctor okay bye

so if you guys are getting UTIs I know in college all the time I was like drink cranberry juice cranberry juice doesn't fucking work know that's such a myth you Cora has all natural ingredients it works to prevent UTIs guys yep too many antibiotics can lead to resistance so let's just treat these UTIs naturally yeah guys so you Cora what you do is you put it in water so say like literally after right after you fuck you've got a glass of water that you would usually drink because you are so exhausted from banging it out for

so long you put the you Cora in the water and you swirl it around and you drink that shit and it's going to prevent UTIs and don't forget to add the crushed up plan B yes out in there as well know you guys know pregnancy yes so girls even if you get stuff like yeast infections or BV this serves as a daily probiotic and it will just help balance you out and leave you in good shape so Sofia what are they gonna do you guys you're going to get 30 percent off your first order at you

Cora.com daddy that's u qo r a.com daddy 30% off UTI free bitches yes shower set shower sex bitches so many people have been writing in yeah wanting to talk about it so let's fucking talk about it okay shower sex is listen obviously the immediate go to everyone thinks up for shower sex is when that bitch is on her period and she fucking bleeding out of every canal and she's like I don't want to ruin your sheets let out hit the shower that's a great time to do

do it shower sex can be hot because it can you have the water like come down cascading around you you feel liberated can turn a key you're totally clean like there it can be hot who know what I'm a skating you read just being wet yeah ha ha ha no I feel you I think shower sex can be really hot so I want to talk about some of the positions because I mean there's a lot I fucking lost yes I personally

usually do the standing up like dog standing up doggie is I feel like the biggest go to for showers okay so you agree yeah I kind of so if you guys obviously know we're saying is like the girl you have your hands up against the wall kind of bent over and he's fucking from behind I kind of think one of that position I'm having a I'm having a post-appointment flashback oh I just thought she just looked like that so raven was like well her eyes glazed over okay so how this is

has to have happened to you when you're fucking having shoppach I'm sorry you look like the kid from Game of Thrones the blind kid that sits in the chair all day long when you have your post dick appointment Flash

I hear just in general saying like you kind of look like this kids aren't Game of Throne I like okay that okay when you're getting fucked in the shower and you're leaning over a lot of times maybe like you're leaning forward underneath the shower head tell me this hasn't fucking happened to you you're getting fucking pounded to town you're going to fuck in the hardest you've ever bought any real love Alex making love yes you're making love and then all of a sudden the

water when the water gets in your fucking eye you're like blind splotch can't really yeah right dude you're like I am literally the three blind mice and I'm having a shower sighs I can't see anything nothing knotting you are blind nothing oh my God the amount of times that I was having shower sex and the water was in my eyes and I was blind and so wrong I'm sure that the guy probably handed me off to like three other guys and I would just have no clue

I probably huh you're literally like oh my God David that feels so good in all of a sudden yeah that feels a little different but like whatever David just grew a little bit more as he was inside of me I didn't know reg David is Josh Steven and Sam all of that I fucking train is getting rid of you but you wouldn't no no no no clue that's how blind it's fucked up fuck is long as you don't have your goggles on girl fucked we're getting trains ran that know but it's rough sex equals train ran on you be careful like only we would come to that explanation

like dear God I think another good one for it is and this is my favorite one is when there's a seat in the shower let me like a chair okay so a lot like in the corner okay so a lot of showers dude like when the old yeah when the old people have like chairs and there's my god dude listen to this so one of way back when this guy was dating he his

roommate had a chair in his bathroom and he had like a big-ass bathroom shower it was one of those with like the glass door it was like a room basically and his roommate had a chair so every time his roommate laughter like was on a trip we would go fuck in that shower and so the point is that guy I've talked about in the past how I think one of the hottest positions to fuck a guy in is when he's sitting on a chair with no arms so you can basically straw and like fucking maybe yeah so hot so what I've what we used to do

I would we would put the chair like up against one of the walls in the shower and I would get on top of him and I would just start like bouncing up and down and riding okay that sounds great tell me how fucking hot that is when you're drenched in sweat there's literally water spring all down my body and you're bouncing up and down and your tits are right in his face yeah and then what I would do is I would turn around and the the shower door had like a handle on it so I

would hold on to the handle for stability and then I would fuck him with like my ass in his face like bend over a little forward that sounds really hot and it was so hot fucking face is always happy when he would like slap my ass you've got the water it's right like that's so fucking not fish okay so it's shower sex has so much to do with what fucking shower your it's so true what I need my fucking bathtub showers yeah actually though a bathtub shower if it's you got to be careful you're not slipping and sliding but the guy can put his one

leg up on the side of the bathtub so to like basically fuck you from behind with that like extra leverage of having like your foot up the thing about having sex standing up these like the fucking height difference between do you and your guy that's actually true because that can also fuck you know what I mean that's a good I think someone actually wrote in and was like my guys so much taller than me like it's impossible to dive so enter things I was thinking about the seventh pick her up

pick her up okay I'm in position in the shower that's really hot is that they pick you up yeah and that was thinking about that the other night I was going to say when I was in my bed I late night thoughts like every single NBA player oh my God is never in his life been like bitch get on your knees because if she's on her knees she's fucking sucking his kneecap because D my deep thoughts from fucking Aristotle Socrates over here you let your up at your

happily at night thinking about Randy a players get ahead from shorter they're all okay but think about them doing 69 oh yeah good the girls sucking on his belly button she can't get down if her pussy's on his face and she goes sixty-nining she's literally sucking his belly button I've no I haven't even thought it best place for a really really tall guy to get head is when he's laying down unless you can somehow put a little chair like a little stool and you kidding me lonex I know okay another

so here we go here we go people are going to be mad but sorry okay I am so sick and tired of of short girls saying that they only will fuck around with guys that are like 6 feet or taller bitch foot excuse me like that's annoying bitch yeah why I have a friend she is like 411 okay time don't tell me and she is like I just cannot deal with a guy that's

order than six foot and I'm like why yeah and I'm sure he doesn't want to deal with a girl it's 411 so fucking take what you can get I don't I don't I think that's so stupid so when I get if a girl's a little bit taller and she's like I can only date a guy that six foot because she has that like masculine think she wants him to be taller but like get the fuck out of here if you're a midget if you get the fuck out of here if you're short and you know I think is you can say it's a small person as if you're small dude my friend is like legally could probably be considered a tribe has no surface and Six Flags

yes of course walk it off I don't want to be taller than you that's one thing feel that oh it is real that back anyways back to shower sex the seat side guys have laid down like in the tote or yes yes yes okay that I like leeches him he was like on his back I oh yes Queens Lake wind fuck Queen this is I think that's a good one if they're laying again depends on the shower but I think that a really hot one is if you guys are

getting so horny and you just want to fucking fuck it out you can sit down and have his back up against the the shower wall and then you sit on top of him with like your knees been I that's where I'm thinking like guys maybe invest in a little pad for your shower so your knees don't get bruised when you're back Bruce baby yeah actually I have you ever heard a guy just tried to like shove the shower head up your fucking pussy you know the detachable one that's something you could absolutely do not have so many wrote masturbate

I love how you said shove I don't mean actually like shove it well I guess well I'm kind of shove it up but like rub it on your clit will you just hold the shower head on yeah don't like use it as a dildo no okay I don't think you need to rub it the water's coming yeah oh I mean I think in general any type of like water sex is hot I know my my boyfriend's Alex you know boyfriend no one's a fucking day he'd pee stick one of my boyfriend's in the past we were like fucking in a pool

do fucking in a pool can be hard what happened was like I even though I was so turned on you can't get wet underneath a pool easily so like he was shoving his fucking large ginormous cock-up up inside of my vagina and it was hurting because literally his dick felt like rubber because the pool water was going in my vagina who's like worth it and you can't get pregnant in a hot tub side do remember people used to say that like when your middle school I don't even know I have a PSA that

that I want to bring up I know we're always focusing on social media and ship but this is just getting a little out of hand it's pretty much Instagram is annoying us again it's not it's just fucking getting annoying again but I like Loki also love it all because like I do this shit so anyways this is something that I really want to bring up and it's it's the the girls that are like posting with their friend posting on their story and they title it back on our bullshit we're

got her bullshit this weekend back on our blush what is your bull what is your bullshit and what do you mean you're back on it back on your watch it why are you back on the blot saying of like the most basic ass girls on Instagram trying to flex and pretend they like got this like cool little yeah I don't know yeah you're right what is the what I would like to know the bullshit is and I would like to know if you really should be back on it you probably shouldn't there's a reason why you got off of the bullshit why are you back god dude please stop it that's okay

the I'm sorry go ahead cute might delete late oh might delete later keep it like Midway delete my post what do that so for attention I think that everyone starting to make fun of that thing now I'm pretty sure I saw like hosting its Arc yeah I was like seeing guys now posting is there caption if you are writing cute but might delete later as like a serious thing knock it the fact that needs to stop the other thing that girls are doing keep

is there posting shit either on their story their page where their body looks fucking incredible okay okay and then they're captioning captioning it or writing something being like guys like this is me like at a bad angle not looking my best I was out of the gym for a while like I'm not proud of this like I'm just showing this picture so like to show you all that like none of us are perfect and it's like you look amazing it looks like a Victoria's Secret Angel

how your body looks like what mine looks like after I Photoshopped it for seven hours so stop stop I know what you're talking about it if you're going to write that it better be the most unflattering yeah God damn right I've ever seen oh there are so many girls online especially public figures that want to draw attention to what they're pretending is a bad picture you know goddamn well one it's not a bad picture and they're almost trying to a get attention so that people are like wait no you still look amazing at what angle

I want people to say oh my God if that's you not in your best then like what am I shut the fuck up that's embarrassing God I also oh my God we're going on a ramp a hold on I saw a girl on her social media the other day and she was bitching about like I really don't get like like getting my makeup professionally done because like it's just so crazy how much makeup they put on I don't like when they like outline my lips like I like my little lips and then she was like and I don't like when they Contour my nose because like I have this like baby nose and so when they do the

the Contour it already makes it look even smaller baby Nam and she goes I just like love mine a key face mine a key face and this bitch that hosts on her Instagram every single time she writes Nikki face she has her full blown makeup baby on your eyeliner there have they either have the full face of makeup or they have a filter and I'm like or they have full-blown like eyelash extensions right Botox fillers everything done so I'm like well that basically is not your fucking Nicky faces bit rate

that's your nice ass doctor in Beverly Hills making you look 100 prepare not make your spray tan fake yeah eyelashes so I think what we're just saying is like again we always say keep yourself accountable obviously here and there it's okay but when these girls are going around be like Nicky face and like I literally see the Contour on your cheekbone why do they do say nakie maybe face I'm like well you're not I wanted to say I'm not wearing makeup and I think I'm so beautiful not really even though this isn't even

even me naturally and there's and there's also dog years but this is a natural this is me natural literally should the Halo above our heads like natural I'm like no you are not an angel sent her eyes our hearts and she's like not know Nikki face like okay why it's oh my God I this is going to be super quick okay poppers like for Fourth of July no I was talking to my gay friend about this there is like a

Hopper's phenomenon that I had no clue about and I just want to tell the dad what are poppers so they sell them at sex shops okay and so we could literally go out and buy them Alex I know what we're doing tonight we make common like a little vial it relaxes like you're assholes like if you're gonna try anal this is the way to go we like relaxes your but I think it relaxes your whole body but my friend was like I understand why I like straight people aren't doing it he was like it is a Feeling

you that I cannot describe it is most amazing thing it makes sex so fun this is probably extremely legal I'm not saying to do it I'm just relaying hooker me every girl that's trying to have but sex if you are nervous about being clenched and nervous maybe take a pauper I don't know how you take it but you take it are we gonna get in trouble for telling people to take so it's not illegal though they seldom sex shop you usually sniff it it's like a liquid chemical thing you sniff it you snort it oh that's kind of cool

fully dickly Snuffleupagus no I wish I did that in college that's cool okay why do you wish you have that in college you wanting your butt to be relaxed all the time for all my poop capades um wow anal loving Allen anally no Italy I handle a little acts like what something happened in my butt okay so basically

so guys back in the day when I was in college I really had some of my horse moments back in college but you know who doesn't I was kind of dating this guy I was being shady because because like what wouldn't you know you cheated exactly so I was cheating on him so that day I had been shady I told him I was napping I was really on a date with another guy he found out it was horrible whatever he came over later that night my boyfriend and I was like I need to salvage this relationship I don't know what to do this is like a Saving Grace because he had caught me

he like many my God you are not about to tell me that you were gonna offer up a no for this guy's cannot be mad at you for cheating I swear people people don't you just sex okay sex sexual favors of any kind actually that's not true probably you honestly probably can salvage a relational here you go sweetheart I'll tell you what happened yeah so I was trying to salvage this relationship he had been wanting to do anal for so so moral of the story

Orie is if you're planning on cheating also be ready to do anal because I don't relaxer so get your but forgive you okay fuck you so I knew he had wanted to do anal we had talked about it a couple times I really just wasn't into the whole situation and him so I was like alright this could be my Saving Grace I'm in my room I'm crying he's crying I'm like please like forgive me I love you we start having like pretend like makeup sex possibly and in my mind I'm like this is the

min-suk can get your asshole ready Alex you're about to take it and you're about to get this guy back in your life I am proud of you proud to be a daddy so I dude okay I turn around we're about I tell him I'm ready to do it you're like I know vaginas off limits get on the asshole is open for business is a go ask green light let's go so he goes to fuck me in my

butthole and this mother fucking idiot does not use Lube oh he does not use spit bitch boy bitch boy and I'm Leigh I'm asking there I'm pretty sure it's not physically possible well it if you guys and like clenching my butt hole I'm having pizza see what I did is I'm sitting there and waiting he tries to get in and it's not going obviously there's no fuck he spits on it a tiny bit okay he takes like a big fucking roundabout

big thrust and just tries to shove it in the hole no fucking no goes shooting inside my fucking anus food like a huge fucking dick just called no right on no no diamond Subway going in the tunnel waving what you're doing your hand motions right now so I'm I get it in and so

a few the the minute I'm sorry about start crying Gaby pedia see the minute it goes in I get so fucking lightheaded I say get the fuck out get the fuck out like fucking a bar up or open oh my God get out get out know he pulls out so fast oh my God you know how that feels it's like you poop I did it poo I passed oh my God no I pass out all I remember is waking up to a stream of water being poor

Hoover my fucking face and this motherfucker is standing above me crying Alex Alex pouring water on my face I can't breathe no I'm his fucking out free on his phone he Googled what to do when girlfriend passes out from anal sacs know why okay like huh and I'm sitting there with water all over my face I'm like get the fuck away from me okay so your first experience that's my first experience hostile passed out had this

each fucking pouring water to me imagine he was freaking the fuck out all of the set and you like pass out quite a bit I pass out some more than anyone I've ever met I have the biggest fear of needles and blood and crazy anything invasive so like when this fucking went down I fell onto the hardwood he probably thought he like killed you dude he was crying I hope your relationship was salvaged sweetheart sweetheart now let me tell you the best part okay gave me big fat hug took me out to delete a gator that you're like you almost killed me you all

skilled you mistook you for your like him hit fucking take you to the police getting that food the relationship was solved solved solid better than ever wow of the story of the story hand yeah get in a relationship cheat on him and then just be ready to have anal but if you're going to do anal make sure that you pass outside he writes that he almost killed you so that he feels bad about it

and then your relationship is good to go hide the lube get it in shove it and take one for the team pass out wake up well it's happy happy family happy wife happy life Wow Alex I mean the tricks I can come Bagent him he's probably terrified he still talks about it to this day like shout out baby it's for sharing that guys and then I went on and cheated on him again so hot so yeah that was I mean that was kind of scarring but I do have to say to everyone that has a really

first annual experience like I then went on to date another guy and he was like why the fuck it they get annoyed because he was a why won't you have anal with me I'm like you have to understand my God I need time to recover from the goddamn fucking Subway sausage piece of ginormous sandwich that was shoved up my fucking asshole sorry I sorry lost me sorry full-on talking about food I've no idea what you just said I'm really hungry seriously we haven't really gotten into anal I can tell you right fucking now

now that your dick begins to be as slippery as a seal yes okay and you don't shove it in know he's into it Pines just there if you're listening to call her daddy and you're not drenching your dick and Lube your and Buggies thing and yeah You Know Nothing Jon Sno you know nothing Johnson Clark came a throne room fucking popping off up in this yeah guys when you're fucking and you're doing it in the ass be fucking careful and I don't know maybe first start with a goddamn

I can finger start with the pinky than the index in the middle then the pointer then the sum then the deck it's a slow and steady race oh okay so Sofia and I are always bragging about how good we smell because this shit is beautiful scent bird bitches it truly is the other day I was hanging out with this guy and he was like you smell so fucking amazing yeah what are you wearing yep and it's all because of sin bird you guys yep guys Sanford is a luxury fragrance

it's subscription service so they have perfumes and cologne so this goes for both men and women I always talk about it I'm never going out and buying new perfumes because I'm lazy piece of shit but simpered has 450 designer Brands so Tom Ford Kenneth Cole Burberry Prada I personally use the Juicy Couture one every single person is sliding into my DMs asking it's the Viva La Juicy one with the little pink bow I swear to God every single guy is going to want to lick every single crevice of your body rip the clothes off

any rail um guys honestly enough with the Axe Body Spray please grow up knock it off stop being a bitch boy you need cologne yep so guys you can choose the Clone you want to try and they'll send you a 30 day supply that's a hundred and twenty sprays people oh I love the key so guys if you're interested you need a new cologne or you need a new perfume you guys you're going to get 50% off your first month that's only seven dollars and fifty cents for your first fragrance so like that's pretty fucking great your poor like

Gus you're going to go to sent bird.com Daddy and you're going to use code Daddy for 50% off again that is S as in Sam c as in cock the as an edible n as in Nancy Nancy T isn't it bird dog cam Daddy for $7.50 go smell amazing bitches okay questions questions as the week really

year

do you want to go first oh I do okay tears no part when we we are gonna do a quiz you're okay sorry okay we were just talking about cheating yep course and we talked about Cheney well we talked about cheating everything yeah so this girl wrote and she said cheating Blurred Lines I've always heard different zip code no problem no issue I like that we didn't even know if they live in a different state it doesn't matter oh

hoes in different area codes oh well my issue is I man in in a committed relationship but love a thrill so naturally I turn the hobo on during a girls trip long story short I had a dick in my mouth that wasn't my boyfriend's I love this is why people get upset with us I'm sorry we're like yeah I love him sex is great but there's just nothing that compares to a thrill I love this girl my God like you think we say throws he's a 3 so this is the first time I've been in the

situation it's usually been a shit relationship but who cares but this time I see a future with this guy fucking help me founding fathers I think that we've talked about this before and once again I know feathers are getting ruffled and people are people are upset yep but if you fuck up one time on a girls trip okay I think you take that shit to the Grave girlfriend take it to the grave debería and you never Revisited

never um I listen sweetheart if you like a dick in your mouth and you like the thrill until you will know when you no longer like the thrill because you the love is greater than the thrill I mean a Maka help hi dude I loved I want someone to like take that quote and put it somewhere right so not us people know but no that's so true so true if you're obsessed with the thrill and dicks in your mouth and keep doing it until you feel pain

I mean you're going to keep doing yeah keep going so keep going until you really because if he is the one maybe give it a little bit more time maybe like a couple more months and you'll be like oof I'm not really in the mood to take that huge long in my mouth this and I'm sure this girl is like a young girl you guys yelling and get knitting it's not okay but it's a little more understandable when you're not fucking married with kids well the chewy I've I that's transitions right into my glad it's actually did it's a story and it's about cheating this shit is

fucking fucked up and if you ever do this to me I'll slice your titties actually I would be okay with you we did this to anybody so my boyfriend now X went on a trip to Miami and you know us girls in our sixth sense I knew something went wrong of course like the crazy call her daddy addict I am I changed my friends contact name and faked a little little convo about how some girl knew a girl who had hooked up with my boyfriend during the trip I sent it to my boyfriend and accidentally to my best friend who also lives in Miami but

forgot to mention it was fake so I just sent it to both of them I only sent the screenshot of the fake combo when I get back to my phone from the gym I see my best friend apologizing for having sex with my boyfriend in the bathroom of a club she thought I caught her and my boyfriend L while the whole time really everything was fake I wasn't even trying to inform her about it I actually sent it to her just him fake text go a long way the podcast podcast all the way from no fucking way dude no way so she sent the

conversation to the friend and the friend confessed fucking her boyfriend she was like wait oh no I was my because I think I think she literally only meant to send it to her boyfriend her you know how it is like your friends are on your top text messages she actually sent it to her friend too can you fucking imagine just planning on like a library and telling her what she's doing can you fucking imagine this girl's best friend confessed to fucking her boyfriend if I was that girl do I would form a fake conversation

another one wave and I would fake it so it looked like the boyfriend confessed to fucking the best friend hopefully this is making sense okay and I hope and like make it look like he was like she had this stinkiest nastiest gross this is lucid it was fucking huge like she smelled bad she sucked it sex like I fucking hate her words back in hideous lasting trash bag dumpster fire and send that to the front and be like also by the way he said this about you so there you go

bit bigger and then to the boyfriend you said the same thing of the best friend being like he was fucking horrible misaki fucking and then you fucking hostage two seconds yeah little bitch boy we move on with your life that's insane that you can just have it full-blown food on it is crazy I've done that before where all you have to do is have your friend go along with it B on the phone with them and be like okay now say this say this and then you literally change the contact next yourself yeah you can text yourself and then you know it's like going to leash but yeah I've done it before

wow psycho shit Works bitch Max okay this is a very basic question Alex but I'm want to hear your opinion is it bad if I get insecure when my boyfriend checks out other girls do you think guys imagine what it's like banging them what if they have a girlfriend no I don't think the Imagine banging them like they want to bang them oh no they're they also can't like stare at them for that long to be like and then the dick goes here and the time is it no sorrow face and it's like you're walking past them in the mall

no they're not imagining what it would be like to being there like damn she's hot yeah this is the thing I think this is kind of fucked up but I do think when I was a little bit younger I would get insecure maybe and I get that because like if there's a such a hot we've talked about on the podcast if there's a girl that walks in looking like Megan Fox yeah you like mother fuck me like come on bitch leave please like you are cheating on me yeah go fuck go have fun Megan Pine fuck you what I fun with her I got duties like I literally not even

in looking at her you draw yeah brought my attention to right and you know she know how many times I've done that and you're you look at him and you're like honestly just take a fucking picture and he was like I didn't even know there was a girl in that there's like a sports game on behind the girl's head he's like I'm watching the Rams okay so what I do usually is and this is I don't do it all the time but sometimes when I'm comfortable with the guy I sometimes will point out hot girls and like all my weight she's so hot I do that all the time because I think that exudes confidence and it

less awkward and then you then you can be I guess she's cute and like wait no she's like so fucking hot what the fuck that's said I actually do the same thing you know and I'm thinking about it now and I think it's because it makes it worse that he's trying to like do it without noticing I've literally had a big weight her ass is fucking amazing yeah what the fuck is that you guys can just both be like yeah she's hot and it makes it it doesn't make use into her because he's not like having to like yeah this little secret yes you know

no I think that's good yeah girls start doing that girls girls girls girls I am always looking out for you guys this guy wrote in and he said can you please talk about high waisted bikinis because as a guy no matter how in shape the girl is I'm just going to assume she put on the Freshman 15 oh look fuck I know people are like we don't dress for guys yeah hairs just wear a full piece the high-waisted thing is not a good look I'm sorry

the thing is is that and I'm not trying to be an asshole but like the high waisted become it's not fly it's not flattering on anyone I get it if you're a little if you're feeling a little overweight you're feeling a little bloated that day you are like okay I want to cover my stomach totally fine oh my God I have my moments on the beach to I'm like I look disgusting however we're fucking one piece yeah girls just it's fuck guys a one piece is way fucking cuter way and it's like high-waisted diaper ass looking fake and neuter doll that you've got in front of your vagina

Anna 100 it's not cute I totally agree and you know what so what so we're not supposed to dress for guys well I know a lot of girls hitting up the beach yeah guys to fucking be like oh is that our we've got our girls who are on the beach with their girls and they're taking Instagram pictures to put on the Grim that they want men to like and no fucking guys like oh that high-waisted cinched up diaper is looking fine wine today on you Stacy no such a good guy yeah I would just reel it in and just where fucking one-pieces yeah

you are fucking merch store and go get the daddy gang fucking one piece cute boom done when you're feeling a little big boom little bloated go for it this person wrote in and said hi Daddy's so we know facetune has gone too far it just went even farther I want to bring to Sofia's attention that people are faced tuning their children's faces just saw my Instagram feed a mom post a pic of her daughter and it only took me two seconds to see that the mom had whitened

the teeth on her kid this needs to stop is this a joke okay shut the fuck up there was like some famous housewife what's her name Kim Coles yeah oh yeah it's a little yeah gold yeah and she like photoshopped her daughter's at like her but looked perkier or some shit and her daughters like I don't even know how old under the age of 10 not get the fuck off me that's so fucking weird really making your two year olds teeth whiter Yahweh what do they even have

are you good say that dude what the fuck is so bizarre also the league actually Kim Kardashian and should they probably do that all the but like actually that's me that's fucking weird that is so it's just stop please Falcon facetune yourself all you want but your kids don't fucking need to be included in your delusional and social media fucking suck it face yeah fuck why are you gonna make your kids look bad they don't deserve that

take an Adobe Photoshop fucking change your baby to look like a fucking prick yes but in their diaper okay okay okay so we should talk and he's seen this the picture of our podcast I know fucking Photoshop up the asshole but whatever we're gonna do one will get anyone to know we won't okay new okay next one so I received a random nude from a phone number I do

not recognize and it's a pretty fucking good nude do I pretend to be the person they think I am or do I come clean

what do you think so Phoebe I don't know I heard think by that I would address it being like

like okay say she said it was like Derek thinking of you my question is what are they trying to get out of it like a sexting yeah situation yeah so like this girl thought that she was sending a nude to like this guy let's say it's Derek and we have Bruce over here that just got this fucking popping off fire nude spread lip let's go and I think you could almost respond and be like you got to be not creepy right but I think I would almost take an approach like hey

just want to give you a heads up like this isn't Derek but dude I honestly would you so fucked up I would just respond and be like that's so fucking sexy babe like are there more where that came from I could load up get all the pictures and then honest and then I would come clean and then maybe honestly do that and then send her your Instagram be like I'm doing I don't think it would be that crazy if her face isn't in it I don't think it'd be that crazy for the guy to be like oh my

oh my God this is the craziest thing I thought that you were blah blah whoa like why not play it off like you did thought it was another so get as much as you can fucking sex with her fucking jack off get all the news you can and then be like this is the craziest thing but I think I just realized that like you're like wait this isn't my again and she's like no this isn't and then and then you know what be like and I also have these pictures now so you gotta do what you gotta do want and you gotta hang out with me and we gotta fight okay

so fucked up okay next Daddy's I need your help the guy been casually hooking up with found a girl to join us for a three-way I'm totally into it but that will this will be my first one I'm worried that it's going to be I'm going to be the weirdo sitting in the corner of the bed watching them fuck I need tips for how to make sure all three of us are having a pleasurable time together please help love you daddies love that um great question I don't know from personal experience but I would never I've heard

add to that enjoy your time with her yep you know what I mean and a lot of this is going to have to do with the guy it is like you should have a conversation with your boyfriend beforehand and be like you really got to like do a balancing act and like give both of us the same amount of attention and then you go in there and don't just go in there and like ignore the girl and just do your routine that you do with your boyfriend like make out with a girl like if anything with her start with her for the boy

actually that's really what you should be doing that's so smart and I think like the boyfriend needs to make sure he takes care of you so go in if I can have fun with that bitch eat her out him out and if we're if we're gonna be super specific like if he is in the middle fucking the girl and you're like I don't know what to do you can lay there and like touch yo y'all masturbate watch them hundreds like this is so hard yeah or you can make depending on the position you can like

Neil over her face and yes her eat you up you can like do a bunch of shit make out with her while he's doing dude a threesome is beautiful because there's always room is beautiful it is beautiful and there's always room for everyone to be involved so yeah you never really have to be on your own I don't and if you want to be on your own for a second just like Mastery yeah masturbate boom done okay like rocking back and forth or like we're like this is a bad idea you're like David did you forget about me okay this is an interesting one

and so this is related to the poop fetish and how it starts the only people I've personally ever met with shit fetishes are from the military and here's how it happens for two years you are deployed and the only time you get to ejaculate for two entire years is in the Porta-Johns on base after two years straight when every single time you jacket you're in the presence of feces and urine

and that has to be marinating in a portable reportage on in the Desert Sun it gets to the point where these guys have conditioned themselves to only come when the smell of poop is around know it's like way up have Pavlov's dog except for people who jack off in Porta potti support the troops though obviously hold on I want to know if this is really a port-a-john is not supportive potty yeah that is kind of the craziest thing I've ever heard do you think it's real Daddy's we want to hear because I mean

it kind of makes sense if every fucking time you're jacking off in you're smelling some kind of seeing something that's hot that's how a lot of fetishes start right from well sometimes it's like when people are were younger and Library would like something happen to be there was like write something there but isn't that fucking crazy that is really create I don't even know to say that listen I have said in the past we love our military Daddy's we we encourage all of our girls you know that he's to send nudes to the military man if poo is what's going to make you come go for KI Orange

sure there were stairs there were fucking country you do whatever the fuck you want to do get blumpkins all day all day long oh yeah I do is Lumpkin okay that should be on a shirt all I all I do is blumpkin all I do is blah blah blah blah blah blah I'm get okay anyways you guys know at Barstool we love us some merch we just released the I am unwell hoodies people are loving them you guys love them so when we're shipping out merch you guys we all know it's

real pain in the ass and it's fucking expensive okay so shipstation.com shipstation is the fastest easiest and most affordable way to get your Barstool merch you guys you can ship out a lot more shit in a lot less time for a lot less money yeah guys shipstation basically we always say it's like we don't want you guys to be unhappy we don't want grumpy customers we want to get you guys everything as fast as possible so so shipstation basically helps us figure everything out every package it creates shipping labels for all the top carriers

has including UPS FedEx USPS Amazon Etc and we get discount codes on shipping costs to so if you guys say if you guys have a business out there you're all like wait what does this have to do with us if you have any type of business you're trying to ship anything you can use shipstation and it's going to make your life a hell of a lot easier yeah you guys so right now you can try shipstation for free fre e for 60 days when you use promo code daddy there's absolutely no risk you guys get a free trial so just go to ships

hsn.com you don't have to enter your credit card information nope just click on the microphone at the top of the homepage and type in Daddy Daddy get ship done bitches daddy gang we love you so much Daddy's this was a fucking pop and week I hope you guys don't judge me for passing out on a penis but Jack was Jenn and Alex has a different lady today whoo guys thank you for going through slut camp with us I think it's gonna be really good for all you hoes I'm going to be

exciting don't don't turn out on that dick will do I'll do don't stop being a slut don't stop being a slide just cover it up for a little bit concealed concealed to reveal later down the line finesse them all the Nestor die daddy game we love you so much if you guys could give us a rating and review that would be a bomb ski forever we love you guys you're subscribed yeah guys a lot of times people write in and they're like confused as to why the episode isn't downloading right away when it hits midnight on Wednesdays that's

cause you guys are not subscribed to the podcast if you're subscribed it automatically goes into your iTunes so hit that subscribe button motherfuckers also make sure you guys follow us on Instagram at Sophia with an F Franklin with a Y and then Alexandra Cooper and then call her daddy daddy of course boom boom baby boom let's go get hammered it's fucking Wednesday let's go baby home after daddy day we love you guys see you next week