44- Girls He Fucks vs. Girls He Dates

Jul 16, 2019

Lots to cover on this weeks episode! Sofia and Alex talk about the types of girls men choose to fuck vs. date, and they are getting extremely specific/personal- talking about their exs. They are also discussing the REAL reason females cockblock their girlfriends, instagram bios that are preventing you from getting laid, and two new moves that will make your behind look like you got ass injections! Also, Alex reads a text from her mom that puts everyone's stalking skills to shame. 

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if you call him daddy do I call her daddy call her daddy

what's up guys it is Alex and Sofia's call her dad you weiner holes were back at it again for our last episode moment of silence fuckers listen up his shit is got me rock it's been a long run it's been fun but it's over it's been really fun Sophia I've got turned on I've cried I've laughed I've gotten turned on I've gotten turned on I've gotten horny I've masturbated on this exact table right here oh the memory memory is are coming to an end I

learned a lot deaf and I'm honestly gonna miss you I'm gonna miss you guys yeah listen up obviously we're fucking kidding listen to this bullshit so Sofia and I were reading comments on the internet like we love to do and there is a full-blown Army of people I can't say well okay the title of the thread said have you guys noticed the growing tension between Alex and Sophia I've heard it the past few episodes that making Digs at each other

I don't know if they're referring to when I call you a walking prostitute I don't know if it's because I compared your hair to a broom I don't know if I say you have a cottage cheese butthole I don't know what it is why would they think we have tension you know guys one day I'm a hot one one day she's the hot way in there's a threat in the thread it says I think Alex is just getting so fed up because Sophia's clearly the hotter one and she just can't take it that she doesn't get enough attention I mean that's not a lot that's not a fucking liar honestly you guys don't

looks like to live in Sophia's Shadow I have to fucking go out with her animal literally pushed in there we go out to a bar and Men actually I'm me to the core I know like we only want Sophia's Alex is a stepping stool to get where I need to go dude we're not in a fight this is this is the thing the thing is people don't realize that Alex and I have a deep deep history yeah and shit has gone down and for us to actually be upset with each other it's kind of like it

we've kind of almost been through it all we've been tight all maybe one day we will talk about some of like the actual real shit that we've been through that's like hard times but when people say like the band is breaking up the fathers are done we're not going anywhere 6 hard we are married and there's no option for divorce I'm cutting you off okay like how you doing

oh trust me I know Alec sometimes talks over me so what so she talks a lot so I talk a lot so do I but not as much live in all we can say is we confirm is we had don't think we've ever been closer oh it's like we're actually in a married relationship and I was just saying to Sophia this shit we're going to ride this shit till the grave we're gonna be in the fucking nursing home and we're going to be doing a granddaddy edition of daddy in Whip-It in our wheelchairs Jurgens in the nursing home they were to say jerk and all the old books

Jurgen yeah there you go so guys don't worry the daddies are still here I don't fucking know where you guys think we're have tension maybe it's sexual tension and it's feeling a little oh yeah don't worry we take care of that we're fine the call her daddy podcast the name really can throw some people off and I got that especially the older generation and this past weekend Alex and I we have these necklaces that say Daddy go check him out barstoolsports.com

March March March I was wearing the necklace and this old geezer comes up to me he's like this Bigger Bang who's this very eccentric billionaire guy why don't you snaggle that I know I should have I tried but he couldn't get it up just kidding what did he say he was like oh so you identify as a man that was the first bucking thing that he thought

so you identify as a man and and nothing wrong with no transgender remember I'm not trying to be transgender so I'm like Alice I think of myself as pretty feminine you are so for him to say that I was like do I look like wait what did you say I said no and she was like oh you don't so what is it you're like please sir I probably I can you imagine me trying to explain call her dad you know guys like 70 80 do that

actually really fucking embarrassing I had an experience with my necklace as well I went home the other weekend and I was wearing it and I popped into a party an old people's party where my parents were and I'm standing next to my dad and this guy looks at me he's about like 60 and he goes oh that is so cute you're wearing your father's name on your neck and my dad knows my show and he doesn't listen and he's like oh fuck me oh my God my dad like walks into

unlike no Dada sorry he doesn't know and this poor man is like oh it's your dad's name on your neck and I'm like no it's actually because I'm a fucking flat I have a podcast I talk about dick for a living but go off okay sure so good like I just want to go fuck myself oh good it's really funny I mean for people that don't know what call her daddy means the word daddy is what it's like you're a boss you're badass your powerful dominant in the bedroom specific yeah and you're just you are in control of your life and I can't

on the bed yeah and so a lot of times its associated with men and so we are saying no no girls can be Daddy to and men can be to we're not being like Oh not only feminist and only girls can be Daddy no everyone can be fucking daddy one night she can be daddy in the next night you can be Daddy I'm fucking decide to wants to ride he these bit these bitches are out here pegging their boyfriend we're Daddy too fuck yeah everyone's daddy so things have been getting interesting over here guys lots of drama lots of confusion but yeah call her daddy

it Alex and I were talking about our ex-boyfriends the other day and we had kind of an aha moment aha both of our exes are trash I mean no but both of our exes had a specific type of girl that they would fuck and then they had the specific type that they would date and I need to clarify because

ones like well of course I could guys willing to fuck anything that's not what I mean I don't mean that they would fuck like slutty trashy bimbos I mean specific down to ethnicity body type Etc yeah those things I also want to say before we get into this I want to clarify that we are just stating facts we are not saying that someone is better than someone else we are literally speaking from our experience and factually

what we have witnessed men doing so I don't give a fuck if you're white black Asian big-ass small tits small ass like it doesn't matter that's not my fan out I don't get that out this is what this segment about it's about men and this interesting phenomenon that we want to address about their choice and fucking verse data and this obviously is not all men but it just so happens that both of our actresses like fall into this category where they were they were picking

well I'll just give you a Give an example okay my ex was obsessed with having sex with super fake looking MILFs of course you will like nothing wrong with that right but when it came to sex he loved like the huge fake tits like a plasticy face and an older woman okay and

when it came to having like a more serious relationship he did not like that at all high me right like I'm not gonna fake tits Sophia I'm not a MILF and I don't have anything fake for now so he preferred girls with a faker look okay this is where it gets confusing okay okay because we would be scrolling Instagram Alex and he I would be like showing him the girls that I follow on Instagram so that's what you fucking do right Maybe not maybe not

that's what we do that's what me and my boyfriend with you okay and I would show him pictures of all these girls and he would talk shit on what they looked like he would be like they all look the same like all these girls look exactly the same because they're getting the same plastic surgery and like her lips are fake and like this is fake on her and I would look at him and be like are those not the type of girls that you like to fuck you fantasize about fucking these kind of girls exactly and I would ask him about it and he would be like it's completely different

when it comes to fucking I want to I want to fuck like this fantasy type thing and I wouldn't want to date them and take okay so he basically was really into faking like a MILF doll like she was bitch to him in his mind it was like a sex toy what he said he was like they look like they are built for sex okay like that pornstar look with the fake tip like fucking but he would never date with one of them yeah but again nothing wrong with the fake Mill there's nothing wrong with that but the issue is like I would be

yawning there and thinking okay so he's extremely sexually attracted to these types of girls high when it's not gonna need about right what does that mean about me you know and it would make me feel like insecure absolutely your situation yeah my okay so I had a sort of similar situation to Sophia a guy that I am still dating on and off when we are off I will obviously like the psycho I am I stuck this shit out of him

him and see who he's following on Instagram because I know he only follows girls to fuck them and so he's he travels around to different cities and I will watch him in each City follow a specific type of girl that is the complete opposite ethnicity and look of me right so like and which is totally fine and when I say that he's following at this type of girl I mean they're like over 20 plus girls like every couple months that

look disagree look exactly like this and I'm the complete opposite so I can't help but be like fucking self-conscious because I don't fucking look like that so I'm over here knowing that he's fucking these girls and that's his type that he sexually like I want to run the fucking brains out of bed and I'm over here like so if that is what your main fantasy of fucking is how the fuck are you attracted to the me it's so bizarre and I still cannot fully grasp yeah you know I think I think it's just crazy mentally for girls it's and my God

yeah it's we're so different girls aren't looking at guys and being like I have I'm not out here like I will only date black guys but I will only fuck white guys right that's not girls don't do that no I think girls will have guys that they won't take seriously right but it's not it's not in the same way it's not I don't think it's more I don't think it's also driven really by looks I'm not gonna be by that bank accounts baby let me see your 401k I mean let's be real if I'm the fucking around with a guy and

like does it have a good job right I'm probably gonna be like yeah suck my fumes good at sex but I'm not going to date him yes but maybe there's some yeah I do but not really and it's so bizarre how guys are like I think it just comes down to men are disgusting they're gross they are so fucking like just sexually driven and how they're able to compartmentalize sex in their life it's really interesting because I feel like women aren't really like that I think we wanted to bring this up because well I

and I found ourselves being insecure and you're not really insecure girls but we wanted to bring it up because I think it can mentally fuck with a girl I talked to my friend and he's the guy about this whole Theory and he said that the reason he thinks that guys are doing this that they're just fucking girls that they wouldn't date is so that they can make sure they don't get any emotional attachment that's a whole different layer I actually hold it that long

V IU bean dip on this one okay so for this bean dip but now I just said that okay so what so we'll like a girl with fake tits he just knows he can't get emotionally attached to a girl from a certain ethnicity or country knows yeah what this whole thing is so confusing mind fuck you met at are weird you guys are disgusting you won't rough sex is just stop thinking with your picture and your penis your Picard Epocrates stop thinking with it whoa

this is I have a question for you okay so we got insecure about the guy liking a girl that looks completely opposite right right because it doesn't look like us right what if the guy was still liking a girl know a guy was liking a girl that looked exactly like you but like a hotter version see I've thought about that I think that would hurt because like what if he was following all these blondes right they had like a little bit bigger tits little bit nicer ask this they're like

Alex 2.0 yeah I guess I am you know they're both kind of like that's a good one yeah I want to hear from girls and girls can relate to this because I sure as fuck can huh God damn it fucking that's why there are X's fuck you I just want to quickly bring up a topic that makes me laugh it's not so much as it is a topic it's this text

okay yeah okay Alex has been talking to multiple multiple men but one in particular invited her yeah to go to Toronto for the weekend yes and when I loved you got a stock obviously you got a stock if you're going to go on a trip with a guy you want to stock and every girl needs a wingwoman or wingman to help her strong and I have my go-to when it comes to my stocking and it's not Sofia and it's not milk honey

enter no it's my fucking mother it's so good my mother it's so her mom is FBI level yes CIA yes yes I love my mother and so thanks Mom shout out to you because I know you listen to podcast so I want to read you guys is because it's pretty unbelievable because Sophia was like what the fuck I couldn't believe it so basically this guy we were talking on this dating app he was like listen I know this is pretty forward but I'm heading to Toronto this Thursday to Sunday for work

and I don't normally ask this to a stranger on the internet but you should meet me in Toronto this week my company is bringing bubble blah like it's going to be fun we're going to party I get a plus one there's pool parties nice dinners whatever so I'm like you know what that sounds like a great time but I also don't really want to die so I hit up my mom I sent heard the messages and I said hey need you to investigate she goes on it 15 minutes later I got a text from my mother and I'm holding my phone right now guys this is

is Verbatim what she says it's so good he looks very rich very handsome Family Guy dot-to-dot obviously very smart let me do a background check but I'd say go you need an adventure and you wanted to go to Toronto and then she texts me 20 minutes later so far he doesn't have a criminal record Recon teams to have graduated from college although LinkedIn says he played men's soccer and I couldn't find him on the roster the years he attended and I checked every year definitely makes a lot of money candle business is a start up on a whim and donates

to charity for profit I'd go if you're interested why not I'll keep digging I was looking for the roster info to get his height call me anytime if you need a break I'm like um Mom she was also by the way I looked at his text if he's paying for everything including this flight why not go I figured he's about 30 1 based off my research oh my gosh I was like Sophie and I are sitting there because I'm like I don't know if I want to go oh my God wait I'm reading there's more she's like oh and he went to Cal Poly tech for six years so either he's who burst

smart and stayed for his master's or he was just a dumb jock and took and it took him that long get his degree no worries either scenario works for you get the episode Done Quick so you can go shopping for the fancy dinners sounds like a la carte first of all it the way that she type is like it's like a girl out of a movie like Gossip Girl yeah Gossip Girl like finish up that episode so you can get a shootout fitted we go for a night on the town I hope you're interested why not I'll keep digging

get digging I'll keep digging looking for the roster so I can find out its height the fact that she was like I've checked every year I have a background check he went to this school he was there for this long like that is I thought I was good he just has some Creek that is like some shit only a mother could die and that's the thing it's like I know my mother has gotten better over the years because she loves to stalk them and that I date if I ask my mom oh my God calling be like Sofia what's

the login password again for the fucking desktop in the living room oh that's true like okay technology and it fucking passed down to me and Alex has witnessed it firsthand that's such a good point yeah so I just want to let you know guys if you really once you get close with your mom after those like awkward high school years if you start to get close with your mom again moms love to be involved X is just insane it's and I've never known that I didn't even know that much about my ACT know and she's got it I couldn't have done that

shout out to my mother I appreciate you guys you got to find a wingwoman because this is a man out there near about today Alex you better fucking like higher tired I'm going to clean up your record and clean up your shit clean it up boys she's gonna be in there that was fun tempered sent bird so if you had that is so crazy sent bird guys we've talked about it before it's happening to us we just keep getting all these guys wanting to fuck us yes because we smell so

oh God damn bird we smell so good bird we smell so good send bird is a luxury fragrance subscription service this is like our favorite Advertiser guys we have they have 450 designer Brands Gucci Tom Ford Burberry anything you want they have perfume and cologne so you get to choose what you want to try and they'll send you a 30 day supply yeah guys I feel like I'm specifically so lazy I never go and buy new perfumes so this keeps me updated and I also get to try out a bunch so I don't smell the same everytime I go see a guy

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I need to make an announcement and this is more for men but this like applies to girls too okay what about the fucking quotes oh the by oh no I am pissed off why especially for guys oh my God especially for guys I don't care how profound and motivational the quote is like it makes you look so dumb because boys and girls are like okay girls can be way more embarrassing on Instagram but for a man to have a quota my yeah

because look girls are going directly to your pictures I rolls care what's in a guy's bio they do you know absolutely I read it because it's because they don't have that much on their page it's a direct reflection of what type of guide is if I see a guy have a quote about money oh Eddie they perform like like a cash rules everything around me dollar bill Emoji the money sign emoji looking let's go bro Bank a let's go some

stacking allotted a nice black dog let's go let's go or like or like back on my girl I call no Rhino on that money grind all of their opilio season baby to Green season oh Alice obviously has never seen these in no no I'm fucking pissed I'm pulling up bios right now because I know exactly were talking about wait I'm going to pull up some to we I just actually I

I matched with a guy that did it on a dating profile and then I unmatched him because of his Instagram bio CEO he goes he goes it's just it's just so classic Lions don't concern themselves with the opinion of sheep that's the most fucking basic ask quote and I like the quote but why does it need to be in your fucking Instagram bio dude for a guy for some reason if it's in the bayou it just looks stupid looks so stupid

supid because like they look like they're taking Instagram way to Z way too serious you just oh my God I just pulled it up you just said one about lion you got what about a lot of out the lions are trendy okay God the Heart of a Lion is within us all well I missed you boy that's like a chat boys the Heart of a Lion is within us all just have to unleash the willpower to view the greatest that's not it

no one's bio also you just added a half Australian accent half frat boy accident wait that's in someone's bio does it help him every single pictures of him at the gym so just Feud take that and then I'm actually because now I'm just going to we're going to go into girls because girls are weighed easier to pick on but guys what I want in your bio tell me what you do yeah what either what college you go to or what is your fucking job and maybe put your location so I know if you're in New York City or not or or duck

get anything we don't have anything or don't have any anything that's anything any quote I don't care if it's no fucking quote you made up nope it's not going to work we now I've pulled up a couple girl ones I need to read them are you ready I'm ready you're gonna poop your pants when I read this huh you're gonna get mad great Sunshine mixed with a little hurricane

this bed Sunshine mixed with a little hurricane she might as well write in her bio I am obsessed with myself Sunshine so she says she's a good girl but she's got a little Flair to her she's a little bit edgy she's got that edge that hurricane Edge no no no not the weather girl blow me okay I got another one old enough to know better young enough to do it anyways

okay I'm hitting you can fires pulled up this girl okay the number two okay pretty okay the number four double shit so it says to pretty full of bullsh nope nope no 44 the bullshit hey there's a the number two in a number 4 and then there's a bunch of Roman numerals that I know goddamn well she doesn't

know what amount they put him in there to look like yeah educated meanwhile it's like bitch you don't know okay can we talk about that oh Vic we let me read this okay I'm sorry I can Alex we know now I'm off inhale Spirit exhale praise that girl sounds like a real hoot and a half to go to a fucking party dude imagine if that was in my fucking by oh this guy's bio trusting God and live for the moment

moment no practice what you preach nope and treat people how you want to be treated no love life I'm a snowboarder someone at the gym someone's dirty basketball-wise I know we're not trying to shit on people but we're shooting Felicia we're sitting on you guys because it's like why the fuck you're right you said it earlier people Instagram is not to be taken that seriously we're just trying to bring this up because a lot of times people even ask us what to put in your bios we just told you your

and and what you fucking do for a living and where where you go to school this is really not that hard list your ask pick like sports listen I am so embarrassing I do shit that is embarrassing all the time I'm the first to admit it horrifying we are just out here helping hello things I'm sure listen I'm sure I used to have an embarrassing thing like I know I probably life be like dude I probably have a quote on my Instagram so it's fine last thing I want to bring up

yeah because while we're on the rant

I think that girls

you don't need to put Irish and Italian no Gemini no we don't need to know your nationality and how your split between three different ones and we don't need to know your star sign we don't need to know it no maybe in the conversation you could bring it always girls that have multiple ethnicities right right and for some reason they're putting it because they're like because I'm half this and half this I am hot I am hot I'm hotter than you I am hot

you wish you could have been fucking a quarter of Filipina 1/4 Irish Italian Dutch yeah Italian but you couldn't but I but I am hotter than and my pussy tastes better because of it you got a little Italian meat favors we got a little Irish potato and then you'll smash him we don't need to know the nationality wouldn't ya know I think in if you're so passionate about it maybe leave it for once you're in the DMS and you guys are talking you're like oh yeah like

hi I'm from blah blah blah if you really fucking feel like it I mean I could fucking do that my family is from all over the world my mom's margin Tina my dad's from Spain their parents are from fucking Ukraine do you see me putting that in my bio like Argentine and then yours is Spaniard and Co watches watches which I don't wear but I'm getting paid a shit ton to put in here I love you so but fucks go by heart hurricane I'm

original time Spaniard hurricane and also peanut butter erotic I'd also Gemini at also a fucking lose whoa okay Pyrrha cane hard argentines can you come to me I'll give you a hurricane twisted my argentines Spaniard twist I would just be like white okay Instagram man

man it's just I the thing is it can really fuck yeah or it can help you and a lot of people it's fucking them yeah because I just literally pulled up my phone I was able to find those quotes use it be the sweetest girl can you fucking imagine that with my bio sweetest girl now I've got a little bit of hurricane on my heels that wasn't even quote but I just want Sunshine mixed with a little hurricane Sunshine dude it's so rough honestly as long as people continue to post ridiculous stuff we're going to continue to

about it yeah anything you put on the internet we can poke fun of thank you very true alright alright alright alright so we were wanted to actually right all right okay we wanted to friends cock-blocking friends cock-blocking email friends cock-blocking their female friend we actually had a guy friend right into us being like hey want you guys to talk about this and he had tweeted he said some girls will do anything to stop their

friends from getting dick at the end of the night like shut up eat your nuggets Rebecca I'm not going to kill your best friend and you know it and so it was so interesting to Sofia and I because the minute that we read that tweet our guy from was like you have to talk about it all these girls always cock-blocking their friends the sad thing is and this is gonna be a hard pill for our friend to swallow this is going to be a hard pill I think for all men across the world to swallow the thing is let's just let's just say it let's say what's happening a girl's friend

is blocking her from hooking up there's a good chance she's intentionally allowing her friend to do that AKA AKA Mao and I'm partying with Alex and there is this guy and he wants to fuck me and for whatever reason I don't want to deal with it I'm going to be like Alex be the annoying ass big what you need to do to get this guy to leave me the fuck alone yep and I become into the friend that is the most annoying fucking Fork friends for

for example for example Alex this happened to us like this was around the time that we had first moved into the apartment yes I remember it well God bless God bless didn't know what we were fucking in for dust mites drop how Central breathing issues respiratory problem I can't leave her landlord to fucking hear this one day okay so we had just moved into the apartment and we went out partying yeah I barely even knew you but I just

new this bitch was gonna be my bitch and we were bitches together and we reside be best friends that's what was gonna go down we go out we come home Alex had let this guy come home with us yep she was kind of flirting with him she kind of liked him yeah but by the end of the night by the time he was in our apartment you had a change of heart and you were like I do not want to fuck him yeah I was like I hate him so what did I do I told Sophia Sophia sweetheart sweetheart I need

you to turn into Satan and I need you to ruin this man's night Alec I get a text from Alex and she's like dude please save me and like get this guy out of the apartment okay and some of you guys are like why didn't Alex just man up and tell him there's a million reasons yeah it's I think it's just easy okay you guys are both in your room they weren't doing anything but you're both in your room you guys are both intoxicated you were kind of leading him on because you thought you want to ride up and then you change your mind that guy was not going to take no for an answer yeah he

going to sit in your room right for out and even if we weren't fucking he was going like it's fine then let's just how let's watch a movie Bubba blot it for whatever reason girls just like want to have their friend take care of it just what if they don't want to be the bad guy rules of feminism it home wow I like that okay so I turn into the darkness into a psychotic fucking Next Level straitjacket guys I have never seen Sophie am I going over to Alex's room and

I start knocking as hard as I can and I'm like Alex hey Alex Alex Alex Alex open up hello hey Al meanwhile meanwhile I hear Alex literally telling this guy oh she's so annoying I like shootout you can help me out a little bit and like she's so annoying I'm sorry she's being so now I wish you'd just go away you were playing with the lying the part this guy wanted to fucking kill me but he

finally open the door and I was like I am so sorry but you need to leave and then I look at him like I'm so sorry she's being so annoying tonight like I don't know what's wrong with her finally he's like fucking fine yeah like your friend is psycho in the head like I guess I'm gonna leave and he left and Alex Ray slept like Angels On A Cloud because he was gone the point of the story is yeah when you are a guy hitting on a girl yeah and her friend starts cock-blocking you hard I'm not going to say every time but the majority of the

the time is because the girl you're hitting on told her friend to take care of it it's so she didn't want to deal and I don't think a lot of guys know that so sad so sad too because girls in that moment because I'm thinking of myself within the story you just told of us girls in that moment are such fucking good actresses oh my God both ends I was killing it pretending like I wanted to fucking kill you and I was going to murder you when he left and I do you like Alex I'm in the door put on my

in crazy bitch yeah yes and and so I think to our friend he was just like it's so annoying I'm like yeah the sad thing is is a lot of times they're they're in on it together 100 and it sucks the only time I would ever cock block is if you were like foaming at the mouth so fucked up out of your mind I'd be like she is gonna regret this in the morning I would Alex needs to go actually the hospital she can't fact right now I'm gonna swoop in besides Eva I don't care if you tell me like all the

of a sudden the fucking 400-pounder at the bar that has been farting the whole time if you tell me that he's the guy you want to go home with our be like we go singing I'm gonna support you don't be a cock block Courtney that's your name if you're a cop cock-blocking Courtney I have one of those in high school don't beer no I bet you don't live wanted to fuck all the guys even the farming walking farting Francis eating is mozza sticks it strong

monsters matzo balls back to the basics here we go Alex and I have very different hair but we have one thing in common function of beauty we talked about it before guys function of beauty individually formulates every single bottle based on your hair type hair goals and preferences so obviously Sophia and I have such different hair but we both can get function of beauty and customize what we want to work on because I get highlights Sophia doesn't feel like you've got a mix and match what you want yeah

yeah you guys going to select a color and a fragrance you can opt for Die free and fragrance free if you want Alex and I both have the peach fragrance it's really cute guys and they also don't use sulfates parabens and they're vegan and cruelty-free love that so you guys instead of going to the drugstore and getting that shitty bottle of I don't even know what the you don't really know what's in it customize your own shampoo and conditioner make sure you know what you're putting in your goddamn freaking hair so you don't look like a freaking loser a broom a broom broom broom listeners

receive 20% off their first order to redeem head to function of beauty.com daddy take the hair profile quiz it takes two seconds go to function beauty.com Daddy and get 20% off your custom formula enjoy Daddy won't regret it peanut butter jelly time peanut butter jelly time now way yeah wait yeah it's ass no it's not even as heating season it's not pussy-eating season it's it's just all about the a spear it is it is but it's

no matter the piece has never mattered when the Beyond it's just the ass Mass all that's all that matters to men these days 100 so of course naturally the call her daddy girls have decided we need to do a little segment a quick little segment with two beautiful positions to make your ass look like the goddamn fucking Peach Emoji you you on the iPhone motherfuckers and it doesn't matter if you have a fat ass a tiny ask no ass your ass

you look hot in this position gas fat ass little ass swamp ass don't matter ass is an ass yes so first position I want to bring up there's two position yes child's pose and the L spread hit him hit him Alex okay child's pose listen motherfuckers we're not talking about yoga like we are it does look like the child it position excited unless you're fucking your yoga instructor you don't have a dick in you at yoga but you're going to today

so basically girls what you're going to do for child also not as relaxing is Yoga you think you know it's not like a meted I mean maybe it is kind of meditation I don't know okay go so Sofia I was talking to you about this child's pose because you've never done it right no and so you were a little shocking Shucks I'm about to burst into flames in the call her daddy Studio like after you what is this Amateur hour no bitch get our do it tonight all right with me all right okay so here we go child's pose so girls you are

going to be on the edge of the bed and you're going to get in the child's positions where like your chest basically goes down to your knees well you're on your knees yes and then you're going to put your torso you're going to rest your torso chest on your thighs yes down your thighs and so why arms out arms out so you're going to spread your arms forward with your arms reaching and like grabbing those sheets and your ass in this position you're basically just going to look like an ass yeah and in a good way because

Ali what we want by our right so also with a position you don't have to keep your hands forward the whole time like squeezing the sheets then if you want to switch it up and get a little fucking nastier put your hands behind your back like you're getting handcuffed and be like baby off a rare take my ass to fucking jail boom it's really fucking hot that is I used to do this position with my ex all the time it was one of like our finisher positions and I think it's so hot because your ass is just up

but there's also the verbal aspect that I want you guys to incorporate with this so as he's fucking your ass basically you can be adding in comments like oh my God babe like you're so fucking deep because in this position he can go so deep and that's a thing a lot of times guys sometimes don't have complete access in certain positions but this is one where his whole fucking dick is shoved up in their Feud and not only is your ass looking so good but if you're saying those perfect things like you're so fucking deep habla he's gonna be

like I need to fucking try not to come in 30 seconds from them oh these are those positions that met their weakest fucking position it is men are mics please think about my grandma thinking about anything but this it's hard for them so it is all about the actual girls tryout child's pose yes men will fucking love it and it's a nice little change up from doggy totally so now Sophia what's the other one so now we're going to switch it up and this is the L

spread last night took a l but tonight I took a day oh oh okay okay so you are up against the edge of the bed okay one leg is standing the other leg is going to be spread out to the side okay and you're going to place either your knee or foot on the mattress so it's like an L shape right you got I'm saying like when people put their leg up on like a balance beam yeah like it's like your one leg down other like side weird

in the shape of an l oh my God and we I don't think I've ever done this Alex what's the fuck I don't know I'll just switch will do a little Switcheroo wait that's actually some yes oh fuck it yeah this is going to accentuate your ass oh once again it's going to look so good I was doing this the other night with this guy I'm dating and he was like oh you can't cable is that be pregnant

okay also can I add four men yeah you can grab her ass and spread her cheeks I thought you'd never say it really dirty really raunchy really hot so I think this position is so fucking hot too because you can also verbally really assault him in this position know you can verbally talk so nasty to him in this position and it's a little different than the other position what you can do girls is you can be like oh my God babe like this hits

it's so good like this hits so different like fuck baby I feel so good because it's a different angle and so if you're verbally sexually reassuring him he's gonna be like holy fuck her eyes in my face and also you can tell them to slap your ass not my ass and you can reach behind and spread your ass cheek and spread your own but my God spread the Spread spread the spread I want to make one comment though about if you do not maintain an arch when you're getting fucked you need to save yourself

your safety net really can be to tell him like fuck baby it's too deep like because yeah like I understand there are some girls that I'm like okay his dick is too big it's hurting my survey The Hunchback of Notre Dame go back to the Disney Channel hang out with as morale de la Esmeralda I feel like it's fucked up to bring up Disney characters while we're talking okay fucked basically in our ass no but that is when girls have you can't keep the arch it's gonna look so fucking bad that you might as well just switch out you might as well just Pearl

all up in a ball and going to like the fetal position and cry just cry yourself to sleep because you look horrible I think last comment every fucking girl out there oh I feel insecure about my ass or it's flat Earth to bigger it cellulite whatever I promise you it would look like every ass is gonna look it doesn't matter it will look hot also I know that we're never supposed to be worried about what our belly looks like but if you're feeling fucking bloated I've been there I'm about to like start my period straight up high

actually so high dude face down belly down ass up yeah oh Mark belly down big fat fat ass fat belly down fuck the gym we don't need the fucking him fuck squawk squawk whoa just spread up her child's pose this and you're good okay fucking Sprout mm Tommy John Alex tell them tell them what you did last weekend fucking went to bed with Tommy John that's what she does

I went to bed with Tommy John and I had sex with a guy that was wearing Tommy John how was it it was fucking awesome I fucking bag it really gets you turned on guys Tommy John you know the deal it's the best freaking underwear you could ever buy Tommy John's cool cotton fabric features breathable lightweight fibers that keep you two to three times cooler and dry four to five times faster than regular cotton with let's not walk around with swamp ass I feel like slapping house like isn't cute you don't need to know that also Tommy John

underwear for women and men so guys hook yourself the of f up yeah you guys hurry tatami John.com Daddy to get 20% off your first order that's Tommy John.com / daddy these are really fun to Lounge in and also they have the best pair you'll ever wear or it's free guaranteed so if you hate this underwear you can send it back so like why not try it out yeah you know what I mean also you don't know I don't know edgy we both say no wedgie wake up baby hook yourself up guys get yourself some new underwear

I know some of you got straggly asunder where gliss Jill my shoulders West Beyond of the Y West you do that Australian accent questions is how would you do that that was not Australia last job like this dude's difficult or sequela let's go guys I've some good ones all might about cheating this week whoa just about to do one about cheat while I'm about to do one first oh my God we're gonna get upset I don't give a fuck if one

eating one okay well mine are basically all cheats listen we're all getting cheated on everyone go fuck yourselves cheater be cheated on okay listen hi father's here's a hack I used to use when my boyfriend wasn't answering me but I had a hunch that he was out and ignoring me if you go on Snapchat to someone Snapchat profile it will say their Snapchat score which is based off of how many snaps you send when I wanted to see if he was being shady and ignoring me I would look at his snap score

and check over and over to see if his snap number was going up meaning he's talking to other people and ignoring me I caught my ex cheating on me using this when he was supposed to be at work and we were and weren't allowed to have phones okay that's fucking brilliant tell me right now be like thank you Alex say thank you and we thank you Alex fuck off I want to explain something okay no I don't want to explain something I want to understand okay how does this girl explain this to her life

this was she shows up at his work and she's like I know what you've been doing I know exactly what you've been doing he's like what and she's like the snap chops quite a lineup it what up dude store today and you're done that Snapchat score ain't Foolin anybody like what are you talking about he's like you sighs Snapchat of mean a girl should know this score went from five to seven within the hour I own but that shit is like low-key fucking

no it's good I mean it's just something that I think it's hilarious it is fucking hilarious like well what like what about the Snapchat she's like the score the score went up it went up and that's all I have to say that laid our psycho but yeah girls and guys if someone is ignoring you check that snap score fuck can catch him right in the act a little horny motherfucker sending their weiner to little girl not little girls re-ment girls above the age of 18 okay next okay here is a somewhat

outrageous one this girl said so I'm sitting outside at my grandpa's house casually listening to the radio super peaceful day until the person on the radio starts talking she gives out a new sex term and I'm already cringing because I'm sitting with my grandpa but what this lady said was traumatizing she said the new term is figuring and what it is is when someone peels a fresh garlic clove and inserts it into their a serve Aegina

burning pleasure I was shook my grandpa may have had a minor heart attack but I just have so many questions who is doing this and why the fuck is it called figuring have you heard of that for a burning Sun I'm pretty sure that a burning sensation in my vagina or asshole is usually not something that's Pleasant personally hmm But I'm not going to judge because it's called her daddy any of you like putting bucking garlic low Hive onion cucumber little song baby

mushroom stirfry in there I will fucking support you until the day I die but what is this what is this have you heard of this I was like I actually did it this way no listen I have heard of putting garlic in your vagina but not for what you're talking about let me tell you a quick little story here we go back in college

age when young Cooper was living it Autumn I got my first ever yeast infection okay now guys men shut up just listen for a second girl is gonna get ya some type of something at some point I had never had a yeast infection in my life and I was like this is the worst I want to fucking die like I want to crawl out of my body this is the worst feeling ever so I couldn't go it was the weekend so I couldn't get to the doctor so I was like trying to figure out what the fuck to do and I was online researching

on the Google and all I kept reading was then saying if you stick a little all over my garlic in your vagina it will alleviate the itchiness and like the annoying Island you're feeling so I went to the little took a little clove I was so terrified I laid down in my bed I did a little prayer to the Hail Mary and I was like please don't let this get stuck in there

I'm not shitting you I was screaming my roommate was like you're not actually gonna do a lot I shoved the the thing up my vagina and I just sit there and it actually felt a little better I don't know why all mental or not but like it will actually kind of leave you to the itchiness you're faking veteran you fucking pioneered piggy here the world I don't know if I didn't have that infection like what it actually have burn because it made it alleviated my issue

shoo and then it was so scary taking it out I'd like finger myself and pull it out and it was just weird but alleviate some itches so maybe if I didn't have that then it would burn instead I don't fucking know I just figure not I yeah you're like oh no where that came from that story took a loop glad I shared that okay okay okay oh I have one that I'm a little wet over because it has to do with read receipts this is just a little

comment but I want to expand on its girl said I plan to hang out with a guy and yet it up completely blowing me off so I followed your guys advice I had those read receipts on and I just left him on red I shit you not two hours later after me not answering his message about ditching me again he texted me never mind him on your my way and he was on his way to my house that being said shout out to you guys for the lay listen I want to just do a quick recap on read receipts because this is the shit and this is the beauty of it everyone always is like duh

don't play games but fuck that we know what color is it Daddy is by now just a quick update on read receipts if you are talking to someone and it's in the beginning stages of you talking or even if you're just hooking up for fun and you don't really have an obligation to always hang out and you know you could be getting ditched on a Saturday because he chooses different plans or she chooses vice versa when the weekend comes up if you don't have your read receipts on turn them on even if it's just for the weekend yeah turn them on and I hope you guys know that you can talk

turn them on and off specifically just for one person and then if you've had your read receipts on with someone say and the weekend is coming up turn them off yeah and they're going to be like wait why isn't it is she not reading these or did she turn her read receipts off and then if you answer and then your read receipts are off he's going to be like wait what the fuck and I think a lot of times girls are like we will what if he calls me out everyone's always so concerned that someone's gonna called Mountain be like well why are you read verse John yeah

my answer to that is you literally make him feel so insecure and just be like LOL why are you sitting over there overthinking my read receipts LMAO what are you up to and send up a what are you up to right after it because what are they going to do right like it's just awkward if someone sent me that I would feel like a dumb piece of shit you'd be like oh nevermind yeah I think that's so good that you pointed that out its people are worried that they're like I'm just going to turn them on out of nowhere and it's going to be so transparent there don't know what I'm up to no no they're not I'm thinking about me personally it

guy like all sudden turn read receipts on I'd be like oh like he changed the setting on Napoli and that would not think it was about exactly that's what you can Bank on is yes you can turn them on and off with specific people but everyone out there daddy gang you are acting like you're just pressing the main button for all conversations you have them all on you've got read receipts on for everyone there and then you turn them off for everyone but obviously you're specifically doing them per person get in there and get finessing daddies

so

I have a cheating one but it's a little bit different and it's the girls that wrote in to us I don't know how many episodes ago about big guy answering the door in his boxers and would not let her into the house and he like picked her up oh the story I told okay yeah so it's like a follow-up of that okay Daddy can help you guys featured my cousin story last episode about her catching her boyfriend in the act of cheating the long story and

now she is asking if he talks to us and apologizes to us if we will forgive him and she could get back together with him she didn't catch him with his stupid little wiener in this girl but he had a girl over without telling her an answer the door in his boxers so she thinks it's not cheating oh my how do we get through to her sweetheart number one he's fucking cheating and he's cheating this is this is full-blown denial I hate I feel bad it's like okay so it's like so

first he wasn't going to tell you that there was a girl ass but then you found out there was a girl in the house so now he's like okay she was in there but we weren't having sex so now you're going to believe that yeah that no no all he was balls deep in her and now he's gonna lie until he dies you know what Alex let's say first somehow someway he didn't have sex with her that is still cheating that is still cheating he's still in his boxer to the girl at his place he was gonna fuck her but you just fucking came too early and ruin the party listen he was lying

I'm to you how girl in his house that's cheat the thing is is that I would just listen do whatever you want but my advice is the length that he went to try to make sure that you were not going to see that girl moving forward he's right now in the stages of he will say whatever he can to get you back and then the minute that he gets you back all of those little lies that he's so good at he's just going to go back and doing them but he's next time he's gonna go to her place and just

be home in he's going to be smarter about it so if I were you fuck him and move on and get a fucking better decadent I understand this girl's so in love she's trying to like justify it like oh but they didn't and it's like no they did you gotta just like I first realized she was in there and now he's lying that they didn't have sex it hurts but she's pregnant she's pregnant convinced herself that girl is pregnant and you're over him and you're on to the next you can do it Daddy okay hi founding fathers so my boyfriend have left his email logged into my

computer okay this really is all Cheney so I stumbled upon his sex male and found his sex male his sent mail my God his sent mail and found email replies to a couple Craigslist postings titled horny sexy lady wants to suck and fuck in which he asked for her Snapchat and to FaceTime he said that this was his douchebag friend who did it but I think he's just mad he got caught it's also a ridiculous way to pick up bitches

what do you guys think I think this is way common and girls don't understand I think that he absolutely was being shady and is not his friend 100% I we have like a couple friends actually that have told us that they found their boyfriends hiring prostitutes on Craigslist yeah have been looking for situations yeah like just exactly like this I was hanging out with an ex-boyfriend and one of his friends yeah and we were drinking and they thought it would be fun too

to call up some girls at run the back pages of Craigslist and invite them over and they did and the two girls showed up they looked nothing know like the picture shut up at all oh my God different people shut up but they showed up and I was just fucking having a blast I was having taking shots with them we were like hanging out and then the my ex-boyfriends friend was like okay like let's go upstairs and he like offered I think they

wanted like $2,000 to my hand job or shut the fuck up yeah so it's a pink today and I don't think he went through with it and I think he didn't go through with it because of me why because I remember I walked into the room and I was being drunk and I was acting like they were my best friends and I was like girls you need to fuck he needs to pay you way or you're lucky I'm just remembering I like went in the room and I was like girls know your worth

thousand dollars know and like any mother like bitch at like 200 I'm gonna fuck no my boyfriend like fucking drag me down the stairs like shut up shut up Sophia let him get his fucking handy oh wow Mary's only two girls are out there just let me know slide in slide in miss you babe okay Daddy gang oh my God great us five stars if you can so now tribe if you please can subscribe and unsubscribe if you guys want to cop some

go to Barstool.com and go to shop call her daddy you guys can hook yourself up with some merch that's can get those daddy necklaces have been really really weird interactions with people no wonder if you're associating itself conversation or a salad degrade me I am unwell - um yeah Daddy gang that was fun every fuckin Wednesday we'll see you guys next week everyone go get hammered this week have great fucking sexy used to we're not doing child pose you're not living

saying yep bye dad those ass cheeks