Beto's 2020 Bid, Andrew Yang's Basic Income Push & Odd Solutions to Policing Problems | Jacob Tobia

Mar 14, 2019

Ronny Chieng talks universal basic income with 2020 presidential contender Andrew Yang, Dulce Sloan weighs in on bizarre police initiatives, and Jacob Tobia discusses "Sissy." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Play Episode

you listening to Comedy Central

March 14 2019

from comedy Central's World News headquarters in New York this is The Daily Show with Trevor Noah here's a dish is an author and activist really really fun person joining us on the show and an activist for lgbtq rights Jacob Toby has joining us everybody

well first let's catch up on today's headlines

first up if you're watching this it means you survived yesterday's Instagram WhatsApp and Facebook crash or as the Millennials called it the end of the world millions of people went through social media withdrawal yesterday a Facebook down Instagram down what we're learning about a worldwide outage the outage is believed to be the biggest Interruption ever suffered by The Social Network Facebook along with its other platforms Instagram and WhatsApp for down for hours yesterday for millions of people all over the world some even calling it The Great Facebook blackout of 2019 that's right Facebook WhatsApp and Instagram were completely offline the great black out of 2019 I thought that was governor Northam but whatever so if you notice people in your office actually doing work yesterday that's probably what it was and can I just say people were treating this thing like an actual disaster like this is the worst thing ever now how will I see pictures of my friends babies want to just go

that them in person you know I don't touch that baby is no

but I know for some people the worst part about yesterday was really the fact that they couldn't slide into the DMS yeah in fact one guy got so desperate I saw him take an actual eggplant and put it in someone's mail box in other news today was not a great day for President Trump and his crew his own party voted against his emergency border wall which is going to force him to use his veto powers for the first time and as if that wasn't bad enough Trump's vice president got deported from his office house Speaker Nancy Pelosi is taken away in office from vice president Mike Pence policies predecessors speaker Paul Ryan had given the vice president the extra space as a show of the relationship between House Republicans and the white house but the vice president wearily actually spends time there by the way the speaker has full control of office space at the Capitol damn Nancy damn I mean I get taking away Mike Pence's office but it seems like now

Pelosi ready rubbed it in his nose by making it the official office where dudes can kiss each other room now you know that's going to get to him and it's kind of funny that house Democrats don't have enough power to rein in the white house but they do have control over super arbitrary stuff you know like they can control random offices you know it's almost like the Democrats can't force Trump to divest from his business interests but they can force the White House to use one-ply toilet paper like take that Trump and he like the risk that my finger will poke through the paper and touch my bum is worse than impeachment

I also feel really bad for Mike Pence because you know Trump feels like he has to top anything that Nancy Pelosi does so now he's probably going to try and take away Pence's real office be like sorry Mike I need the room to store Rudy sarcophagus sorry buddy alright well that's it for the headlines let's move on Tom main story because we are now just five hundred and ninety nine days away from the 2020 presidential election which when you think about it is basically like 598 days so let's catch up on the latest in the Democratic Primary in our ongoing segment World War d

you know there's an old African saying if you keep quiet for long enough you can hear a new democrat joining the presidential

did you hear that another one just joint brand-new Democrat in the race for the White House former Texas Carson better reward the social media Phenom who lost his race for the Senate last year joining the growing field just moments ago he's campaigning in Iowa today and we have something that almost no other country in the world has we have the single greatest mechanism to call forth The Genius of our fellow human beings this democracy more than 320 million people strong can bring the Ingenuity the creativity the resolve of an entire country yes that's right better or rock is officially in the race and it's about time because he'd been teasing us for months yeah he wouldn't say he was running but he was on Oprah he was on the cover of Vanity Fair he released the documentary but whenever we asked him if he was running he dances like a koi southern belle a mad but a lady never tells and I mean obviously we all saw the

coming this is the least surprising thing to happen since we found out Tucker Carlson said something racist and a lot of people a lot of people are wondering why is Battle even running for president when he couldn't even beat tide Ted Cruz I mean he lost like yeah he lost but he lost by a little bit which is what people love yeah it's like Rocky or Cool Runnings or Bad News Bears see humans are weird if you win easily people hate you all right like Tom Brady and if you lose by too much we just think you suck but if you lose by just a little bit people are like that's my God

and now of course the big question whenever a new democrat enters the race is how is Trump going to bully them and with Beto the president wasted no time well I think he's got a lot of hand movement I've never seen so much hand movement I said is he crazy or is that just the way he acts and I've actually never seen anything quite like it you know I can't believe I'm saying this but Trump is right Boo Boo no screw you travel album go back to Africa but no but seriously like have you seen how much better or Rock uses his hands like look at that look at this like everything's hands every like a polite version of Eminem just like the whole time he kind of looks like one of those things at the car wash but I sometimes have sex dreams about you know those things but that being said that being said Trump is the last person to mock someone for over using their hand

all right I mean every single Trump speech looks like he's conducting every Orchestra in the world at the same time in fact if the race comes down to Trump versus Beto the debates are just going to look like every fighting game we remember from the arcade round 1 fight show your taxes

so Beto Iraq has officially joined the race for president which means they are now 15 Democrats running in the primary that's so many people look at all those faces look at all of those faces the got enough people to stop the world's worst soccer team and because there are so many Democrats running many Democratic voters are wondering how do I know which one to choose well for Ronny Chang the choice is clear here's his reports the 2012 presidential campaign my afternoon poop saw quite here yet but I can already feel it out of all the candidates there's only one I can see myself in I'm Andrew Yang and I'm running for president as a democrat in 2020 he's a successful businessman and I don't know if it's the cut of his suits or the way he lights up a room but there's just something about this guy that makes me want to vote for him based on zero research okay so you're Asian you're

for president what else is there to know my platform

right I thought your platform was being Asian there are many many other Americans who care more about my stance on the issues then frankly you know what my races which is Asian

that's all we need to know here okay let's wrap this up you know I think we should discuss my platform if you want to talk about what you believe or whatever go for it I'm going to edit all this out by the way I believe that every American adult at the age of 18 should get $1,000 a month free and clear from the government to do whatever they want for working hard right all for being a citizen of this great country as is ADD show Yang is all about Universal basic income the idea that the government should give everyone a monthly check even if they're not working you can't just give people free money that's only reason people work if I was getting paid without having to work Neil and always has been considered violent drunk on butonly can't quit your job on $12,000 a year it would make it so that Americans can transition as technology is eating away many many jobs artificial intelligence is around the corner oh my God artificial intelligence robots that's your

yes dude you are making it so hard to blindly vote on identity politics right now projections are that about 44 percent of American jobs are subject to automation self-driving cars and trucks are going to displace 5 million Americans who drive for a living shit it's going to display as hundreds of thousands of bookkeepers lawyers and on and on according to Yang everyone but me should get ready to be replaced however budget policy expert Bob Greenstein doesn't think that will happen robots are coming for some jobs but they're not going to replace all the jobs or even most of the jobs but are you only defending robots because your robot no I'm not a robot prove it which of these squares has a stop sign variable yeah point this one that one and this is the third very good

but I'm not sure I just proved I'm not a robot what do you mean well maybe you could develop a robot that could identify the stop sign squares too

what so Bob might not be human but he's got to recognize that Yang Universal basic income is a winning idea Ubi as a beautiful idea thank you that's all I needed to know well it actually isn't all you need to know the problem is it's a beautiful idea that will never really happen Ronnie cost nearly four trillion dollars a year why wouldn't people vote for that have you ever had someone wave cash money in your face not really it feels like this

do you feel that I can feel the wind that's some cash wind where's the money for the cash wind come from the Bob it's no fun asking where this came from policies only really work if they can happen in the real world and I don't need to listen to Bob all he cares about is reality if this presidency has taught us anything it's that reality doesn't matter anymore now we're going to have the space force because it's so Avenger Yang is going to stand a chance and this election he's gonna have to learn what really excites today's voters if we had a value-added tax that even half the European level we generate these numbers and all this nerd shit listen there's only one thing that wins elections in America okay that's fear and hate that's two things again with the numbers you buy a jobless angry and ready to blame their problems another race and robots are the One race it's okay to hate yeah well what about our honorees for one good

neither Humanity that's a great first step next time you campaign I want you to go and safe robots are causing all the robot crime in robot Chicago there is no robot she doesn't matter what I'll talk about truth will talk about hate and fear and getting in power for Asian people and getting revenge on every single person yeah I'm listening were good enough time for none of those things good thing I'm here to help you out so this is an ad we prepared for your campaign Andrew Yang knows America is being invaded by robots they're sneaking across the border taking the jobs we love and imposing their same sex robot Sharia law Andrew Yang will stop the robots from banging your wife and becoming your son's new dad Yang 2020 you will not replace us what do you think it's kind of the opposite of where we need to go so you do not approve this message

no I do not approve this message you do not what sorry I approve this message and what was your name again I'm Andrew yang

Yang 2020 the robots them to hell I'm Andrew Yang and I approve this message check everyone will be right back

hi I'm Dr riddle and I'm Bashir salahuddin we've teamed up with Comedy Central and WBEZ to bring you South Side Story's a podcast about the real places and people on the South Side come with us on an adventure as we explore the things you don't see in the Headland will meet inventors go step and grab some Harold and maybe even get to the bottom of all these parking tickets you can find South Side Story's wherever you get your podcast seriously wherever you get them we don't judge

with President Trump dominating most of the new cycle it's easy to forget that the United States has problems that aren't peach-colored and poorly dressed and one of those problems is policing in America but the police are working on this problem and to catch you up on their latest efforts we turn to our very own Dulce Sloan in our new segment Arrested Development

thanks Trevor police in America have been getting a pretty bad rap recently mostly because they keep shooting an unarmed black people and it doesn't help that we keep recording it if we didn't keep catching them on our phones the problem would just go away like my gas bill if I don't open my mail I don't owe you a cent but since it doesn't look like people are going to stop filming the cops some police departments are coming up with other Solutions and like most of the dudes in my DMs these Solutions are weird Waco Police taking steps to engage more with young people in our community officers are giving out trading cards you see them there and when they see kiddos on the streets they hand them one if you're wondering each card has a picture of the officer along with some of their background Career Information it gives the youth the opportunity to learn a little bit about each officer so you know it shows that police officers are people too

oh this is great the Waco Police are gonna pass out Pokemon cards of themselves so now I'm going to copy throws me against the wall I can be like oh wow I can't believe it be a man had a but officer Barry made you a collectible now look I think this is a great idea but it would be even better if the cops got trading cards a black people instead then they can see us as human beings

so next time when I see a black kid running they'll be like why is he running that's Lamar oh says here he runs track is constantly late and his hobbies include not getting shot by the police okay but if trading cards are too old school for you the NYPD is a new high-tech way to help community relations the NYPD is turning to Virtual Reality to help improve community relations and they're working with teenagers is new program called options simulates recurring problems the nyp d-- hopes helps address those are supposed to be students on the basketball court being asked to be in a gang if you not down with me I'm going to look dumb all the character students encounter in the cliffs we were shown are people of color police say that's an effort to be more relatable to the communities they're trying to Target okay again not a bad idea which is why the cops should play the games themselves

okay I don't need VR to teach me how to deal with black people I have a family and a bunch of mirrors in my house I do with me every day and I'm a delight and if you're trying to teach young people you're going to need a better game this game is like Grand Theft Auto with none of the fun what do you do on level to pay taxes and wear condom

I get why cops are trying to roleplay everyone loves role playing you could be a cop a prison guard who you could even be a prisoner who I'm talking to prisoner who's been bad real bad so now you have to handcuff her and take her to a holding cell at closer you're being so rough off topic sorry sorry sorry I'm back wait hmm okay I'm back I had to finish

gotta get mine

now in New York they're changing the way they interact with black people but over in West Georgia they're going a different way still dumb but different this afternoon police have a new crime-fighting tool they say could help in dangerous situations watchfully show us exactly how this works you point the device in the direction of the person that you want to entangle or restrict their movement the bowler wraps extra strong line shoots out and catches around a suspects ankle here's how that looks we slowed it down so you can see the line wrap around the mannequins legs okay that's gotta be the worst idea get all right if y'all gonna tie my ankles together while I'm running I'd rather be shot whoa whoa wait watch you heard me at least when you get shot you go out with some dignity all right you won't hog-tie me like some damn Rodeo cattle

I want to college I'm not getting taken down by this cartoon as gun what is this for police or the circus okay what's next cops are gonna stop a car chase by tossing banana peels out the window even go see like I feel like police are trying to come up with Solutions and you're just hating on them what do you think would work better oh here's an idea why don't the police just talk to black people hmm I mean get to know us as humans and higher cops who actually live in the neighborhood there police it that way cops don't feel like they're commuting to a Spike Lee movie every day

and residents will know the cops actually care plus if a cop is your neighbor that is stitching that's gossip

you don't do so actually these are some great ideas so I think we should we should scrap all the other ideas yeah no no we can we can keep the last whole time well I thought you said you hated that one the most for the police

I'ma use it to catch Idris Elba

by the way when is he coming back to the show I'm definitely not telling you now I don't worry I'll find out I went to college no since not everybody my guest tonight is a gender non-conforming activist producer and writer whose new Memoir is called Sissy a coming of gender Story please welcome Jacob tobia

welcome to the show hi I'm very happy to be in order what gets me is you're a hugger and I'm not used to hugging people who are taller than me huh I don't know where to place myself in a taller person hug it is kind of awkward because you get the arm sandwich moment yeah but I'm because I'm used to like toll hug I know how to hug down and like you're the first person I've hugged who's taller than me and I don't know how to engage in that hug at all I did have a growth spurt like you know 20 minutes ago to be fair okay okay that's all well that's our show and congratulations on your book Sissy a coming of gender story let's first talk about the title I mean Sissy would seem like the title that everybody would want to stay away from because that's a derogatory term many people have used to describe people who are queer gender non-conforming etc etc and yet in the book you talk about how through self-love you've learned to own these titles of Badges of Pride what does that mean yeah well it's funny because in some ways sissy was the first word that I had to even named my difference you know I didn't know the word transgender when I was a kid I didn't even

the word gay as early as I knew that sissies people who are gender different was a thing and so the whole point of this book for me is to kind of excavate the story of my gender and really not take any part of it for granted and so the naming it sissy is about reclaiming my childhood for myself you know what I mean and and learning to kind of like snatch back the power from people who tried to be like oh you shouldn't be like that and you can just kind of be like well I mean if you think you're going to like tease me with that name like it's a title my damn book now so sorry

one thing I really enjoyed about this book was the way you tackled conversations in and around being trans being gay being gender non-conforming because we cannot deny that in society it is a difficult topic to Broach because a lot of the time we don't even know where to begin right everyone's afraid of stepping on a landmine somewhere and then for some people just makes them uncomfortable because they've been taught certain things growing up why did you feel like human needs to be part of the conversation why do you say that people shouldn't take it as seriously like they should respect it but they should be able to laugh and joke about gender that seems like a controversial thing to say right well and the process of writing this book and also in the process of promoting it I feel like I've learned a new identity for myself which I didn't realize was so necessary but I'm gender chill y'all know what I mean like like I because I don't want to live in a world like I want to think about what is the future we want to build for transfer right right what is the future that I want to live in and the future I want to live in is not some future where like you know there's no gender and everyone wears like grave

he's in sweatshirts and like you know shaves their head and like whatever like that's not the world I want to live in I want to live in a world where gender is this playful thing where there's no patriarchy and misogyny none of the things that make gender sock and only the things that make gender great right I wanted to feel like a dress-up been you know and like some kids you know don't even play dress-up but like watch out like they just holler yes and then some children I don't know who like you know go in the dress up in her like how much can I put on my body and still stand up right and that's something that's something you actually encouraged in the book which I which I found really interesting you said one of the things that you think could help us in society is if people experiments more with the agenda so people going out there and dressing and close that they wouldn't know you said for instance everybody should try on a three-piece suit regardless of their gender just try it on and see how it feels why do you think that's so important well the one of the myths I think of the way that the trans movement has done our messaging is the idea that like oh sis people have a stable gender you know like people who aren't transgender have a gender that simple yeah

my girl no one has a simple gender that's a silly idea and more importantly everyone should try out new things you know we grow up in a world where least most of us grow up in a world where our gender possibilities are shut down from the moment were children right and I think it is is everyone's responsibility and everyone's opportunity to explore what else that could look like why do you think people are so afraid of it though and and so hateful towards it because I mean in my world I've always gone if somebody's not hurting me or it's not hurting other people why does it affect you but there are people who are vehemently opposed to everything that you represent a human being have you ever engaged with somebody like that and have you ever figured out why people are so against it yeah I have a lot of empathy actually for people who are really uncomfortable around me or who you know stigmatized trans folks or who you know just like played straight up hate you know gender non-conforming people and the reason I have empathy is because it's like when someone cat calls me in the street you know when someone you know like is violent towards trans folks I'm just like

and your trauma is showing you know like the only reason that you would lash out against a trans person is because you've been traumatized on the basis of your gender to you know that like something about your gender went wrong or someone told you that you couldn't cry when you were a child or someone told you that this is how you had to be and you see someone like Moi with such freedom and you don't know how to handle it

to that effect I brought you a little present you bought me a present yes so I introduced you aremy a little bag I love bad so back in the term the term is gender all right which I've never heard of that before yeah and it's not like it's not what it sounds like it's like playing with your gender and having a damn good time and so I brought you some clip-on earrings oh wow because I figured so I get two views should I get to wear these yeah so you know what kills me of clip-ons all the time is they give me headaches but these ones aren't tight I promise you show good ones know there's a lot of the time they'll give you a headache no they're gentle

and because of this is this is I mean like I don't want to I don't want to like be your stylist right now and I don't want to like you know but I just this is a look now realize this is a look we don't you know what's interesting for me to you ideas of gender and how we identify it and what signifies gender around the world is in South Africa and in many African cultures men will wear earrings like this and it to your point it doesn't like no one be like oh that man is not man or is you get on saying it's funny because it's like this I'm just like I I look traditional right now I could be thinking right now like it's my grandmother's so she'd be like finally

The Daily Show with Trevor Noah ears Edition watch The Daily Show weeknights at 11:10 Central on Comedy Central and The Comedy Central app watch full episodes and videos at The Daily Show.com follow us on Facebook Twitter and Instagram and subscribe to The Daily Show on YouTube for exclusive content and more

this has been a Comedy Central Podcast