#1281 - Tom Papa

Apr 15, 2019

Tom Papa is a comedian, actor, writer and television/radio host. His podcast “Come To Papa” is available through All Things Comedy on iTunes.

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cash app invented it you just select a boost in your cash app swipe your cash card and you will save 10% or more at Whole Foods Shake Shack Taco Bell Chick-fil-A dominoes and coffee shops across the country the coffee shop boost is nice it takes a dollar off every time you get coffee whether it's Duncan Starbucks by 200 cups of coffee a year you save $200 with the motherfucking cash app it's that simple download the cash app from the app store or Google play or your cash card today and by now you should know that when you download the cash app enter the referral code Joe Rogan all one word five dollars will go to you that is five free dollars and better yet five dollars would go to support our good friend Justin wrens fight for the Forgotten charity which is helping to build Wells for the pygmies in the Congo my friends that's it my guest today is a good friend of mine a hilarious stand-up comedian a wonderful human being a baker of finebros

Ed's and enjoyer of elk meat give it up for my pal mr. Tom Papa

The Joe Rogan Experience Train by day Joe Rogan podcast

all day Tom Papa Joe Rogan it's your buddy good to see you crack-a-lackin' I know not too much cruising around we're talking about old bodies falling apart yeah I got a stem cell shot in my shoulder to kill me right now yeah I can tell you're in pain whoa yeah one shot just well I got it several in both shoulders and this is not like anything like that's like a serious injury but it's their been annoying me lately so I said fuck it let me just go in there every time I've done it made him feel better right how often do you have to go I've been doing it like once every six months right yeah that's what happened to it and then it kind of is okay for a while yeah right and once every six months seems to keep me in but it's expensive so is it not is not curing whatever it's healing it but then I'm being a moron right and going back to working out hard right but we were just saying is that soft tissue yeah heels like this is a soft tissue issue yeah soft tissue is one of the best things for things like stem cells to therapy because

can actually regenerate tissue right and it can heal things where gets a real problem my friend Miriam Nakamoto she brought over those snacks those bags of snacks where there is a little snack company she's a multiple time world muy Thai Champion enjoy Muay Thai Muay Thai boxing I don't even know what that is my time now never heard of that nope you're so you're so what are you white yeah you're white you're also like a non jock well I was a jock my whole life what would you do I played football did it oh that's right I play football forever and track in a bunch of stuff that you fucked but then I stopped did you fucking body up at all no not too bad my shoulders a little bit mmm my shoulders a little but that's pretty much it my my knees you know like I run a lot now I've been running a lot for the last couple months and yeah what brought that on so want to be in better shape yeah when you feel better I dropped like burn off some steam redhounds yeah Burkhardt

I was like maybe maybe yeah your face looks thinner man yeah it looks good you have translations that's all thanks man that's a cool thing once you get going right yeah get that momentum that's what's up well you know it's really was up was I was kind of cruising along and just like lost five pounds just kind of like hanging around and then I realized I'm working out like this workout that I'm doing is what a bit of a warm up when I was an athlete right like this wouldn't even have been a warm-up and I like all that was pretty good and I got to stop being a sissy and try and really push a little more once you get a trainer I don't like intimacy oh that's real well you know what your else you can do there's actually apps where you can follow an app and the app will put you through a workout oh yeah several of them know they're really good oh cool a bunch of really good ones I don't have any affiliation with any of them so I'm not naming any of them but yeah you can you can you can even get a yoga one you get a 90 minute yoga

Andre just do yoga and it popped with talks you through the poses it's great yeah I used to do yoga all the time but I feel like I've got it I feel I have to shift into lifting weights again yeah like he's just been dropping now it's but I just feel like you know a little bit I don't want to be I don't want hands I don't want to be the guy like at the pool with no arms you know what I mean so many people have motivated the welding by going to the beach or the pool with very little clothes on my thought about Fox summertime fuck people are going to know yeah right exactly I reveal my secret I'm gonna know what disgusts me about me yeah this is my gluttony look at it this is my laziness look this is what I did all winter this is my poor food choices right here look well I'm with this is drinking this is upper the upper part yeah this is the part right on the sides but I really just but then when I started getting after and being like don't be such a sissy like to work out right try and push it then you wanted then I wanted to do it more

then I got into it and I'm like alright let's go now I'm going further and quicker but this is all been cardio yeah all cardio what about just body weight stuff like you know I mean it's not a bad idea to start off with bodyweight first of all the shops yeah because you haven't really done much like that in a while yeah it's chin UPS push ups and the body weight squats really don't need much else really not really I've been doing more push-ups do things that a ferocious workout in with change grip push-ups uh-huh Shannon UPS body weight squats just to just those things does that mean I have to get them of those chin-up bars it goes in the doorway yeah get a real one now because those things fall and people die the ones that hang folks listen to me yeah those ones that hang on the door the door jamb yeah I used to work construction those fucking things are not designed for you hanging on them have little tiny nails and guess what people like me probably installed them and sometimes you don't hit a stud here that little tiny nail is going right into the fucking dry

all and you're hanging that thing over there and it's pulling on that sucker now then I'll miss my shoulder I'm hoping since the fuckers that drill into the side of the door you know what I'm saying and then the ones that go right in the side students we're going to the gym like four screws on each side it's like that'll hold your weight alright that'll hold your weight I'll get that that one work because it's put your pulling down on the wood yeah we those things are it's like sitting on the would you know those ones that hook over the top of the door that shit is a recipe for a broken neck I feel like that thing was in like every 80s movie yeah I mean I'm sure they have good ones that do that I'm sure that yeah sure but you should really check out your fucking moldings first you just moldings of pull and I just lay on the ground and do some push-ups yeah but a real chin up our man a real chin-up bar is made if you just got one in a park just go to the fucking Park it's your outside there are a lot of parks have like those you cannot bars a little set up so we could do calcium yes yeah nobody ever genomes are no joke nobody ever uses are those are great for working out I know

they seem pretty simple Yes seem like old ladies must go over there bro I go to Nautilus I don't need this right exactly get I do my leg extensions on Norris I got my membership I use once a month bodyweight squats seem easy when you do three yeah but when you do a hundred they become very fuckin hard right when you get to like 70 like whole shitty feel that burn baby and you start counting down intends not remember doing push-ups when we played football and you do you know 200 be like 200 break him on a row no break come on doing a row they would we do like 30 hmm and then you know split them up and there was a big-time work out and now I'm doing like 25 I'm like I'm good for a couple days sorry man it is not getting anywhere more than 30 push-ups as I whoa shit starts getting crazy yeah 30 was all a lot of pushing yeah I do like your body has to be conditioned for that and if it's not a lets you know you like 33

your arm starts shaking yeah the funniest part cocky around 1900 you get to like 18 19 like bro I'm feeling fucking smooth it's so funny how whatever number you have in your head is where you start to write if you say I'm doing 20 you start shaking it 18 if you same doing 25 you don't start shaking until 23 you know what's a real mental thing you know it's really fucking cool and I got Rogue makes this thing that it's it's like a bamboo Pole and on the end of the pole you put rubber straps yeah like you know those little bands that you and then from those bands you hang kettlebells off of the bamboo stick yes so as you're doing this bench was I can push my lift my right arm up it's raining right now otherwise I'll show you as you're doing this thing everything's all wobbly everything super super wobbly because first of all the kettle bells hanging from rubber right and the the stick his bamboo thing is super wobbly and as you lift weights with that it's

good for your stabilizing muscles earthquake bar that's earthquake but how cool are there's a version of is there a video of it we can't watch the video online or someone will take us offline yeah the earthquake bar yeah that's exactly the one I have we will have that out there I'll show you it to you afterwards yeah that's really cool because even lightweight like if you had to do 70 pounds yeah like 35 on each side it's awkward it's for that that doesn't look like something you want to use in your house you're going to ruin your floors put rubber on the floor rubber on the floor and put rubber all of your house so nothing gets ruined did you do you have grandparents to put plastic over the furniture oh yeah my nana my nana and lived in New Jersey yeah my mind was in Newark yeah yeah they put fucking plastic over the furniture it was very big deal you spent a lot of money on that couch you're going to it's gonna have a stylist always confuse when I was a little kid I'd sit on that couch ever like this is terrible especially in the summer with your shorts on your work your legs just be sweating it minutes and they eventually got

like yellowed by the Sun and by use crackling so it was weird yeah it's like you would like put like a jacket down and then you would sit on your jacket that whole generation never had Comfort like their beds were hard the pillows were shit lives through the fucking depression man yeah I don't dance real that shit people starve to death but this was a barbaric time where where people are brought down to you know base Humanity just survival rough and then you have like you have like 15 good years and then go into World War II and they dealt with that so yeah they were like we don't need comfort we're not laying around in our sweatpants on beanbag chairs well they knew the importance of being vigilant right like we all do you ever do follow David Goggins online yeah David you know what is no David Goggins is this Navy SEAL who now is more or less

like a motivational and fitness inflow the run the guy who was right no to broken knees though he's a fucking Savage yeah let me see some of this clip he what did how many 100 mile runs that he run in a row some fucking Preposterous number I want to say cuz I can't remember it all I want to say six or seven but then it's like 12 or 13 of 100-mile member I don't remember at all but there are his whole thing is stay hard I shall send me a text out of nowhere like a just say stay hard motherfucker bitch is out there yeah because like first of all yeah you're if you're a Navy SEAL right this is the Pinnacle of hand-to-hand combat and and the Armed Forces of those motherfuckers are all special human yeah and then on top of those motherfuckers being all special humans there's guys that can just just put a little that message out like hey you you are soft as fuck compared to how people used to be right all soft as fuck

compared to those World War two people those State you got to stay vigilant back then everybody had to stay vigilant yeah yeah you to deal with just day-to-day life you have to deal with what was coming from Hitler what a tune in at a certain time to find out what was happening it had already had a gather around the TV for the news that was all the news you got that's all the news you got you I got an hour's work that was it they don't know what the fuck was going on nothing nothing and they were better read and they just they really what's I'm so tired of that whatever they were better off for it I don't want to know not better off for it why way better off recognizing that you're luckier than those people having some fucking disciplined watching a David Goggins Instagram clip and get your fucking shit together Tom Papa no I'm not I agree with everything you just agree with everything you just said but I'm saying you're better they were better off not being fed a news diet 24 hours so yeah mentally mentally prepare the

human beings that have had to deal with but it's not as lot it's a double-edged sword because if you don't get fed that you don't find out about Julian Assange getting kicked out of the embassy in London you don't find out about a million different stories that are in the news it's a fun story it's a cool story but do I need to know it but it's a fun story that's a quote for you from now on hey what about Julian Assange Tom Papa hands up in quotes it's a fun story it's a cool story but I don't need to know it holy shit really I'm like Ryu just redefined White Privilege well there you hit it you hit it on the head and lit it on fire no but seriously what can I do about a lot of these you know look I think it's good that information is flowing and that moves everybody forward but you know for me sitting in there trying to tell some jokes and feed my kids it's like do I need to know everything every trouble spot going around the world well it's like that is very good questions like how much responsibility do you have to be tuned in to all the events

world and to act a comet responsibility do you have outside of voting and do you have the responsibility to vote because there's some people that are very interesting people that don't vote yeah you know I don't agree with that yeah it's a want to participate I understand that but I don't think Michael Mouse votes doesn't he does didn't he say he doesn't vote I think he said he doesn't forget his reasoning but it was very logical uh-huh no I understand the argument but I am even if it seems kind of false and I just I think it kind of like mentally engages you in the world yeah you should be trying to participate I think his perspective is that as a commentator on the world that would be better off if he didn't actually vote mmm and just look at it how he really sees it on both sides right if I'm a marshal yeah I'm sure I'm butchering the way he would phrase it right I think it's a lot in the spirit of that

yeah if you vote you don't have a right to complain all right that doesn't make sense that doesn't make any sense that was deep well yeah but I think but look it's a lot look I think it's trying to be a good person I'm just a person level and try and take care of your family and work hard and be good with people and help your community that's kind of the extent of what you can do and hopefully that spreads out but you know right Julian Assange okay really I mean why is that you know well like all those people that were talking about it that generation that only got news during that six o'clock hour mmm you know where they less citizens of the world because they only got that little dose I don't know they were less informed and the idea is that more people can get away with things they should be able to get away with like what's happening right now with Julian Assange

Assange in anybody's estimation if you look at what he did he distributed information that was extremely interesting to most people in the world that did know about it right exposed a lot of scary shit yeah supposed a lot of corruption supposed a lot of I mean what corruption did it expose I know it exposed there was that was in collateral murder video that was the one of the first ones where they showed them shooting they shot at these guys who they thought were soldiers and they were they were reporters and it was sort of Just The Way They dealt with it it was very scary for people watching that someone could just like dehumanize accidentally killing the wrong people right I'll make it like known as the military they were the making it like you know hey but you kind of have to be in that mindset to be able to gun people down from the sky in the first place the whole look you got to put yourself in the perspective of someone who has to do that job yeah and you take a regular person and

train them to do that job and then you ask them to go and pull the trigger people they're going to develop a coldness to them well yeah the cut they have to write but to see it so what Julian Assange did is he showed it to us and then he released all sorts of I mean I haven't embarrassed to say that I haven't really studied all the files and what was released and what wasn't apparently when when Ben Shapiro was here he said that people's names got put out apparently that was someone hacked into Wikileaks and release that information before they could redact the names this was the this is what I've been told by multiple sources I don't but again I didn't look into it I don't know if that was correct so they're going to say that he was treasonous or that he was I don't know what they're going to say I think that your first thing was a sex charge that's what they were trying to say that he had sex with a woman they where he wore a condom and then they had sex and then they had sex in the morning with no condom

and she didn't consent to that that he just kind of did it or something I think it was something like that I think they called it surprise sex and if I'm butchering this I'm sorry but the didn't make sense like that there would be going after him that way well you guys obviously not about that I think yeah you go after if you want to get somebody to go after yeah or whatever but I think you're standing like hacking charges now right yeah I don't know I know I went a little crazy in the in the embassy right he wouldn't clean up after his cat and he was well scooter around is that true that's what I don't know what who knows what strive know that's probably true but that's part of the little story that I caught well Duncan was stuck it was poetically describing what the embassy must have smelled like with Julian Assange dirty cat shit wafting through the Halls yeah crazy asshole you have staying here won't leave Pamela Anderson comes over every now and then they get their freak on the surveillance footage of Julian Assange skateboarding and the Ecuadorian Embassy in London has been leaked I know

okay yeah but here's the thing man like what do you want the guy to do is their problem he's there for seven fucking years now he must have gone crazy yeah I mean that's like being you know under house arrest dude I mean it's amazing that he lasted that long what they did they waited him out and then when it there were never going to wait him out he was going to stay in there forever and then got sick of him they just get sick of them I think there was also a the Ecuadorian president I think he took a photograph in front of like some lobsters and shit and it was from a leaked email in that photo got out and it was very embarrassing to him because his country's in a deep financial crisis and he's chilling in some for season somewhere he loves tearing lighter yeah well I don't know I mean look it's not funny that when you see pictures of trump he's eating Kentucky Fried Chicken when you see pictures this is easy Lobster beets

Trump brings Kentucky Fried Chicken rolls fucking private jet actually Larry is he really loves that stuff he loves it you really fucking loves fast food like when he got all those athletes when they came to visit him in the government was shut down and brought him off fast food he didn't understand they like what the fuck is this shit and then he had another team showed up months later and he broke out the fast food again the government was Hope just imagine the fucking you're going to see the president of the United States and you are a professional athlete yeah right your body literally is a temple and their college athletes but now their ecology I was sales - listen let's be real about that huh College athletes should get fucking paid craze that's the biggest robbery and all that Lennox yes college sports you only get a chance to get into the NBA and the NFL yeah they get a chance if they do but you're making billions of these kids fucking billions don't get much so much money $20 I'm telling you man

this guy in terms of like material current and future it's almost like we Glutton doubt it's almost like Trump was ice cream like when he was in office he was so good for comedy that it was like there are so many Trump jokes over it every at now everyone's like no more can't fit any more like any good sighs I need something else I can't have ice cream these are one more bite yeah ice creams going to come chucking out of your throat yeah he really true it's not so he's so fucking eccentric like good or bad just look at him as a human it's such a rare human being yeah you know I mean you see it with the with the hair and the fucking constant golfing even though he's he shit on fucking Obama golfing and he's got way more than him he doesn't even try to pretend he's not a hypocrite know isn't it all he's just everything he's just the The Fat American on a jet ski just letting it rip

Reyes if you know it's also hilarious is the I think this is a real thing Trump derangement syndrome I think it's real you mean people that are obsessed with him they're obsessed with you know this is the thing that's going to get them he'll be out of office in three weeks instead of like looking at it like this is the argument for guy like Michael Mouse right that he's an objective analyst stepping back looking at this he's doesn't his and have a vested interest in this guy winning or that guy and when he's just going what is this right sitting back and watching yeah this is if I'm going to take that position not emotionally involved some people get so emotionally involved they can't sleep they start crying they think it's the end of the world the world is exactly the same we just have a different figure head and I think it will present challenges that will make us more understanding of each other I really do I guess what I really think I think there's there's good and bad about every situation but with the pro I see is

action if we're just honest with the way we communicate I think people on the right and people on the left they share a lot in common there's a lot lot that they share rather than what they don't share in common yeah you know the only thing they don't share is what they're watching well there's that and do right and there's also the vibe you get yeah like this is the vibe from these whatever whether it's CNN whatever show your into MSNBC Fox News they all give out a Vibe yeah and that Vibe is you know we are right here's what's going on here's why that's a problem right you know and everyone has a different problem and everyone thinks they're right right then you have so you have different things you some of them are have like eagles and flags and Don Todd that's Fox News yeah right like that's my style I'm into that kind of Truth gimme gimme that shit yeah fucking yeah yeah come over here the right way yeah all right guys yeah what a moment to your fucking neighborhood let him move it to your fucking neighborhood right

Mad Al trucks and hips and guns and so that becomes your team that becomes your clamp that's what it is yeah team thing most of it and and the unfortunate part is both are saying are spending so much time rather than thinking about yeah this is the problem that we have to deal with their spending all their time thinking those other people are assholes right exactly it's being it's the the venomous attacks against fellow Americans because they have a slightly different view about care that part is the the derangement of the culture right now they're not enemies they're Americans in the you know we're all on Team America exact we're gonna agree to this fucking thing look at that bro exactly cause we're all together which I something bitch it is a wild country when you travel around look at my phone watch this got the flag blows in the wind bro it moves I believe in America is a concept I don't think it's a bad thing to believe in America

a concept okay I think we're getting better we're working on this I think this idea that this is like people were complaining that someone put the American flag on a cop car in California see that shit yeah like hey this is where in America what do you mean they put a strong American flag on a cop car like just drifted over know like they had like a the side panel where it says the police department has the American flag incorporated into their logo now what do you hate America what's wrong with that I like it yeah it's pretty like it I fucking salute those kinds they drove by gonna be what's the problem who doesn't like the American flag what's wrong with being a patriot it's imperialism man at you it's everything it's all the good to it's all the creativity yeah all the art all the love all the positive people all the opportunity people it's amazing where we look at this oh my god let's do this fucking quote we have such an amazing community of artists here and I thought the aesthetic didn't really represent our community

this person said it feels very aggressive bitch you're in the Winner's team right okay you're in Laguna yes aggressive an artist in Laguna Beach just loving life we read is every day at for its aggressive that's why you can walk around with flip-flops you fucking idiot its aggressive yeah but that's not aggressive to you it's not aggressive police your friends the whole time something happens to your house who do you want to come not a guy when I marry this water is Water Color Kit or the police yeah but they're not even saying that like the police car the colors on the car but they're not saying we shouldn't have police I think that flag is too aggressive yeah but it's pretty flag and the police he won't like that is the flag make it more aggressive that is so stupid I don't get it but it's that thought process there's something wrong with us well there is that there is that knee jerk reaction from people on the far left the think that everything we do is evil you know from

the beginning of the country to now we're just corrupt and evil and awful otherwise still here well why are you going to the arcade they would all admit that it has great qualities of problems is the problem is when people really focus on only the negative aspects write the negative aspects this country are real they're real of course from top to bottom in every right and every in every group of human beings the negative aspects are real but this group of human beings in a relatively short period of time has a man I think this group of human beings has managed to accomplish insane architecture music comedy writing that's right and and dominate the world I mean it's a crazy fucking weird place but dominate the world in a democratic sense right with with a democratic election in their country lead in a mostly peaceful manner the real problem was then you start wondering like what the United States does outside

of this country and whether or not they should be doing it right it's like are they doing this because they have to do this because this is the way the rules work in that country are I mean why are they propping up this guy when this guy is clearly a dictator is it better to have the dictator in charge they have it become a failed State like Libya all the shit that's way beyond our pay grade right right that's when things get screwing say like yeah I don't like what America does overseas okay I don't exactly know what they do and I don't think you do either know exactly I think there's some dill Julius sides tells yeah well clearly some people know right some people are super educated informed I'm not I'm not denying that yeah but what I'm saying is that most of the people that have these really

aggressive opinions yeah about these things yeah and look there don't necessarily think they've thought about it too deeply no but you also know that you know look everybody knows the country does some dirty stuff in places that wasn't cool what find your country doesn't you write the exactly it's like the thing thing these militaries and these countries have to do in order to keep peace and stay alive yeah I think the end and you know you want to shine light on that so maybe it's not done again but it's a it's part of the thing that we talked about before about like our grandparents not having a lot of the information and in a way that you're living in the dark and that's bad but in a way you're living in the light now and you see everything the problem with seeing everything I think you kind of is a problem is that you realize that no Organization no country no government is Flawless no person they're flawed everything is flawed everything and now we have

the idea that if somebody isn't perfect they should be just run out of town canceled yeah canceled kicked out of office whatever yep we're all flawed everybody's flawed and this idea because we can find everything else out you can expose everyone's flaws well we're going to have to come out of this somehow realizing that flawed doesn't mean that they're evil or there- and I have to be kicked out do you think there's ever going to be a time in in humans like whether it's a hundred years now A Thousand Years now where there's no war yes

yes I do how do you see that happening well it's going to start with cop cars with flags on them and then they're going to put roller after I think it would be technology and I think it's a matter of everybody becoming more comfortable if you can if you can have people this is like a Thomas Friedman idea that if if you want to stop like people fighting in the Middle East give them all the Comforts of a good Society let them be able to go eat McDonald's and sit in a coffee shop and all of a sudden you don't want to fight as much and that means Prosperity that means popping so I think technology if you bring more water to people and there's less suffering if climate change doesn't turn ruin all of that I think if you can prop these people up and give all these people if they can rise and there's no sense I mean we're at a point now where there's fewer Wars than ever before on the planet sure so we're headed in that direction so I don't see why not well as a thought exercise let's

this way what makes anybody decide to act as a group what makes anybody like if why would we decide to go if right what negotiations should we be having with someone in Germany like why why why are we having a conversation about anything you live way the fuck over there on the other side of the ocean what would make people act as a group and go over and try to fuck with somebody else that's right that's in another place like well people can people can definitely be rallied all right for any claws most certainly but do you think this is my thought that there will come a time where that kind of rallying doesn't work mmm that people will stop believing I mean this is one of those very bizarre ideas that the systems that we've established for for human civilizations whether it's countries or cities or continents

whatever it is yeah these systems once all the boundaries that kept people from freely traveling although once those are goes all broken down no country anymore you're looking the keeping it this keeping it together now is the fact that it's air travel so they know when you're coming in and they get to check your papers right oh you're flying in from overseas are you mr. Papa was only one way motherfucker you got to land right here right in this spot and then we take each individual and say can I see your paperwork what do you got who are you where you from where you born do you have money or your drug addict you're interested and then they're allowed they could still do that that way if that didn't exist if it was way easier to go to Germany there was a technology that would allow you like a person like you or me the same way we could drive places we could just fly into somewhere and land anywhere yeah you'd have to go to a fucking specific location like an airport or get funneled through a road that takes you to some you know some checkpoint station like when you're trying to drive from Mexico just if people could fly yeah if people if people flew anywhere they wanted to go

if that technology existed good fucking luck keeping people from coming into your city good luck all those rules are out the window it does yeah all those immigration rules that doesn't exist anymore right can exist people can go anywhere they want right but what are you saying that gives you well the gives you the interaction with human beings like in a way that you you won't be able to get them as a group is easily to go after another group right because now there's no country basically there's no like thing to write we're not part of this that has to go fight that right we're all done we're all one now here do you do if one person lives in a great spot and I don't want to give up their oil right right then it becomes a problem right come on guys vs Raw We're All in This Together those people in Alaska you know yeah they got all that fuckin oil bro here's happen to you here two things though here's two things of why it might not work once to the college mm mm yeah but I only two that I can think of okay I'm here one

Italians are Italians and Germans the Germans and Mexicans are Mexicans and you get around your people and you feel it and you know it and I know who you are and we're part of that tribe and we're part of that thing and it doesn't matter that we grew up somewhere I just know you as an Italian and I'm an Italian and I am with you and that is very different from that Turkish guy over there that thing that very human thing yeah chemistry thing of your own blood your own thing I don't think that's gonna go away for bro your old school and you bake bread okay I think you're talking nonsense you're really into Old its old timey things you know what I me thing II do love if they could fix your eyes without glasses he's like no I like the classic make you feel like I'm thinking I put them on I'm getting ready to go to work okay but I think that's a real thing like my horse horse is better than cars and your friend and your friend you give him hey cut that bad in the shit is actually really good for fertilizer all right well I'm going to blow your mind with my technology in this conversation which I just read an article

yesterday that in China face recognition is the thing that's going to stop your fantasy of everybody just loving each other and going around in China there to with face recognition they're able to recognize and categorize Muslims in the country there's like this one sect of Muslim in China and there with all this face recognition that they're seeing you know from your phone from everything they're starting to catalog the enemy and they're and they're going to be able to police or sharing information and hotels and everybody and they're all now through this network know what type of person just walked into this building and whether they're friendly or they're the enemy and that thing that face recognition thing is could end up splitting us apart even more hmm old-timey Tommy with his technological facts here China's big brother surveillance technology

not nearly as all seeing as the government wants you to think this is kind of like a they might be able to upgrade it though it's okay for sure yeah to do you want to point out when your phone unlocked with your fingerprint and it blew your motherfucking mind what bro it's reads my finger he's like pinky it even worse my pinky five fingerprints on this motherfucker it could consider I get to do the side of my thumb and Michelle knows his glasses what do you mean there's a cop it's a cop with Google Glass it's got some sort of face recognition thing it's like that Tom Cruise movie Minority Report what was that real yeah no but this not Tom Cruise definitely Madigan there I don't know but what looks that's you know II try to Google Glass on once I actually oh yeah through a whole UFC weigh-ins wearing Google Glass and was filming it I guess it wasn't ready right

as in ready and I think that's why they have an upgraded it like this let's hold off because this is not working people and while none of that dorky shit and people got super uncomfortable when you around them it's like holding a camera and everybody yeah walk around with a fucking camera everywhere I think they'll have something eventually but I have a feeling it'll be something where there's a technology where the outside you can't see things when the inside you can and then they'll show you images like directly in front of you on the lens so like you wear glasses like your glasses but it will show you things right in front of you like I yeah I got one that I heard that I don't know if I understand and believe that this is real but I just Googled it and I found something that makes it seem like it's so the next version of the VR headsets are supposed to have brain tracking in them and that sounds super wiring but it's already like being implemented and tested you get a knock on your door all you think about is beating off what is wrong with you man how often do you beat up

no no we thought you were a regular person but you're beating off a hundred times a week like you imagine if they want to have a talk to you like mr. Papa you watch 14 hours of pornography this week yeah that seems a lot yeah I think your mother would think that seems like a lot but we think I mean I don't want to talk to her well they say employers are going to do that insurance companies are going to do that they're going to be how much you beating on how much you're beating off how much you working out how much you sleeping weather and what look at that we promise to share only good stuff wow that's like Google and they said don't be evil if yeah abandon that start making money they think fucking paint right over that side maybe a little evil what is evil man I mean what is evil evil Smeagol we're going in that direction yeah man it's going in that direction yeah it's all going to some sort of a wearable thing that connects you but a weird thing that like every where you're going there picking off your face and then you're going to be able to they're going to know exactly what you are and who you are and you know it's just

strange it's strange but it is it any more strange than our lives today in comparison to people that lived in 1920 like we were talking about earlier yeah this is way weirder way we weightless super weird way weirder wearing weird town already for sure you just need doesn't get into the hands of people that can really mess with you oh yeah the people the money yeah the money and all the control yeah they probably be cool with it right yeah they'll be great they'll be all right yeah it'll be fun everything's going to be fine do you have a lexan your house Alexa yeah my kids do my one friend is always trying to tell me just get that out of your house it's listening to everything that you say and everything don't say any bad in that room it's not a question about that you know neural link might be coming on soon or whatever I was thinking about like if if it got to the point where like say we all got it and then everyone you knew had it and there's like a thousand people that have it when we hit a like a threshold point where like not everybody should have this

we're good at this point right here how would you ever deny people something like that cost they might be really expensive to know but how would you ever know you can't deny people that want like say if someone's coming up and they want to try it and everyone else has it that would that would create a giant problem that'd be like if you said that with cell phones too many people have cell phones we have to stop you no more buying cell phones I know that's why I sort of think that there might become a big problem with that why what is it darling I don't know but hold on a sec I don't understand why you think I just sort of think that if in the theory that you're going to let thousands of people have instant access to the world's knowledge at their finger at a thoughts like instant that becomes too powerful in the wrong hands and the people that might have it first might see the future problems of that I'm just so I was wondering I was thinking way too far Jamie got high you got high and watch Superman so yeah dancer you say it was like know that probably won't be a problem or well no I don't want stop it I don't

yeah under I don't think that anyone can say that's not going to be a problem yeah I don't know I mean what is a problem though it's going to be something it's going to be a something yeah it's good if everyone has access to all the world's information instantaneously first of all colleges are going under son as my first cause like my dad happened to dress like that all day until don't think they can but yeah they're not going to be able to the amount of money that you would make off of something that made everybody super smart yeah you would there's no way you can imagine if you found out how ironic would it be if you found out that like Stanford and Harvard a banded together to try to stop this from coming out because it would kill their business yeah L got together and it was like you know just like how I'm sorry College admission scandals going down oh yeah so great if there was a scandal that all these higher universities had banded together to try to stop this because he was going to kill their business if it like everybody can know everything we tell them more than everything we tell I'm going on some college tours already jeez

Christ yeah oh my God I really makes you think I'm like why can't do they really need this is expensive oh yeah man they really need a degree in all of this I don't know it's a weird businessman I don't hold weird Biz I don't know why it costs so much I'll tell you why why because the administrators are all making bank is that what it is yeah it's all right now so all these kids Generations are in debt because they have to take these student loans because college is more expensive than ever before well it hasn't changed running the University of the the teachers would it's the administration of these giant universities are making so much money they're making millions and they keep cranking it out and they keep needing to up the up the rate and then they make money accessible for the students through loans and then they keep feeding themselves it's horrible it's a horrible corrupt system

and it's some it's also subsidized right

well the government will subsidize some yeah how much is the government subsidized private education private education I don't think any yeah just public and yeah you got fast full-on though yeah it's so expensive I mean you know it's isn't that weird to there's like State schools private schools yes you know they all cost money mmm everything costs money yeah but what is it like well actually cost to get to like USC how much is like a semester at USC 70,000 no not a semester a year a year is it 70,000 we 70-54 the year yeah that's like the that's that's the online Google search thing that's 250 plus your room and board plus all the rest and if your kid fucks off yes of course they're going to do and by the way to have 50 Grand you need to make like 80 right what taxes are we get from you how to make 80 grand yeah for a whole year of your kid being in school yeah and if your kids just doing bong hits

totally playing ping-pong and shit my father dropped me off to school at school when I was like a sophomore and it just drove me into into college and drop off my stuff and I was so psyched to go see my friends and then like just kind of you know just work hard be responsible okay Dad okay okay I go running into my dorm room my buddies are there I haven't seen them all break Tom and me a bong hey I light up the soon as I walk up my bags are we haven't even dropped I light it with my lighter in this huge flame comes out and prove almost like lights my face on fire like what habla en hey papa your dad's outside he's in the van I forgot something I forgot a lamp in the van no no I go running out there I'm like hey what's up you know hoping I don't well he goes hey you forgot your what happened here eyebrow your eyebrows burnt off what did you do in the two minutes

I just took the lamp thanks Ted CIA oh my God Jax he's writing checks for me to go do yeah it's brutal Jesus Christ more I was just tuition I saw ya 75 75 total USC one year Room & Board that 15:3 that's gotta be low because that's just about it over a thousand a month It's gotta be yeah chairman and that's without like if your kid who can you live on the east coast and you're flying your kid back and forth and all the rest of it but look at personal expense of personal and miscellaneous 1,400 bucks for the year for the inner bucks a month get out yeah that's crazy at it forget it $5.00 a week books are going to be way more than a hundred bucks a month to the book right be 1200 a semester probably should go to State School you pay a quarter of that stay in get your undergrad here's the things like you could have a nonsense education like me where you just read things that you're interested in and then you never get like a

real Base education I don't have a degree in anything you didn't go to college I went to college but I fucked off I barely paid attention I went to UMass Boston so yeah it's a resistor I don't even take my SATs no really no there was like they had like a continuing education program you just sign up and start taking classes there nice I was did you go the whole way no no I went for three years I was taught barely paying attention three years yeah I did it I guess I realized I was doing it a little bit while I'm still doing stand-up like when ice while I started doing stand-up it was literally only so that people didn't think I was a loser right I just wanted to let people know I'm doing something I didn't pay attention at all right I will all I was thinking about was martial arts competition and then it was stand up all right then well yeah transition right there yeah once that happens forget it once I realized that people made money doing stand-up that's when I quit it depends on what you want to go do

there are certain you want to go in the law or you want to do certain you know yeah medicine there's certain routes where you need a degree we really need a degree and there's definitely something good to going to school and being around other people from around the country and all kind of thinking and for sure it's all positive but you should not go into debt I have all these you have to use that they got out of school $30,000 in debt right this is the start of your life as an adult the worst thirty thousand in debt they can't keep up with the payments so that in the interest kicks in and after four years now they owe 50,000 and they're constantly chasing it yeah and now they ask their parents to help them out and they cosine now you have two generations and they probably owe taxes right and and they're now on their second job where no one cares anymore where you went to school they never even asked the question they don't know not didn't know know in certain places yeah insert well

it really depends on what you're trying to do right if you gonna be a doctor I think they care yes I think they care oh yeah that's well maybe depends on dr. the yummy history Professor applying for a job as a history Professor television production whatever no one gives a shit well that's true if you're gonna do Hollywood type jobs yeah nobody gives a fuck no it working and construction you could do we what would it

my whole thing is and I keep trying to say this to my daughter is that you should never don't jeopardize your future for this degree you can get degrees they'll be important they'll help you but you should not strap yourself with debt yeah that's wise advice yeah very wise advice and she's like how about you work harder and just pay for it and I won't have to be in debt that's a good thing for her to say yeah it's clever very smart is that you up and my other daughter I'm just gonna give her headshots $300 a head shot head shot right in the business the business done that old show business yeah hey everybody's crazy but I thought Showbiz people crazy everyone's crazy every you're crazy I'm crazy yeah the people who are you think insurance salesman people are fucking crazy they just better at hiding it all day yeah it's what they do it they that's what they do they hide it they hide it all fucking day if you were really smart you just go into Plumbing

listen there is need Plumbing yeah and you make it really good living at it and there's not a lot of people that are learning these skills anymore that's what you should go do or do something you really want to do

find something you really want to do yeah maybe you don't want to be a plumber should it be a requirement that they know what they want to do before they go into college no but see what college should be is education would it really seems to be more as like prepping you for the job Force hmm you know mean there's education as well but it's prepping you for the job force and nowadays at least in a certain segment of the population you're getting these colleges that are also like socially indoctrinating kids socialist ideas and a lot of ideas that

you know just are contrary to what probably their parents taught them so then there's this internal dispute and who's right and who's wrong and do our rebel against my parents and yeah go full social justice Warrior yeah yeah yeah join the young Republicans on campus and you know kids are just trying to find who they are yeah there's definitely when you walk onto these campuses even just to tour them which I never did when I was I just you know picked one out and went but you going at the personality of each University is so dominant as soon as you walk out onto the campus and went to some small really left liberal arts schools and you just feel like the posters and everything you're just like as a white male you're not welcome here at all and then you go to some other places and it's just kind of free-flowing and everybody's just it's into this they're just all about the football team if you ever seen the poster says a white male you're not welcome here yeah we're in my daughter's room

no but you know you look just like very very Progressive and very you know every everything is an issue and you know that's where you develop those idea about what I'm saying is you can really learn from going on these campuses like oh this is well there's a Vibe you get in Doctrine indoctrinated into whatever Vibe the campus holds and you get social points for like following those ideas right as far as as hardcore as you can yeah it's really it's really interesting like if you take yourself out of whichever way you lean if you lean left you can say well it's because they're young and they're passionate they're right if you lean right like their babies and they're being taught by people who never made it in the real world the only exist in Academia and yeah but just look at instead of looking at like that yeah look at it where you don't have a fucking dog in the fight and just step back and go this is fascinating it's like people are just

trying to change and influence people's thinking and behavior and some of it is to justify their their own thinking and behavior some of it is because peeps some people just like controlling people really like getting people to listen to them and some of it is because they genuinely think that this is for the best for the human race and it's all these things are competing together yes why you have some people that are activists you meet them they're not annoying at all you like God damn you really cool because they're doing it with the right heart right there you have activists that are so annoying why they so annoying because they're not doing it for the right reasons they're not doing it to try to change people because they want to poke you they want to they want to have a reason to be upset at you because you're not listening to them you're not following their ideas write them and their those are the words it's about them and their status and their power over you and ya know I know there's a couple people you know there's a couple of people I know that have gone that way so hard that you can't even have conversations with them yeah I'm

sides it doesn't help it doesn't all it does is create more more conflict like that kind of combative attitude creates more conflict you could be right on every single issue what if you're super super combative all the time that people just don't they don't want to communicate with you and they're not willing to enter into an honest exchange with you yeah it's always a contest there's a battle going on right and you you always think you're right right it's US versus the end they're just looking for a little Clues see where you're at and if you give them any kind of hint that you might lean one way they just pounce on you it's brutal its like this it's a horrible way to live and they're angry they're just angry they just walk around anger it's like get an ice cream cone enjoy your life a little bit like what are your hardcore Dodgers fans that's what they are they're just hardcore sports fans for the Democrats yeah like our fucking team's gonna kick your fucking ass in 2020 Suns going down right exactly it's really yeah it really is that hey did you see tiger yesterday dude I was watching it while

were in Georgia we were in Georgia for the UFC right and I had a comedy show out there and we were me and Santino or watching it on the screen Saturday or yes we watched it Friday or was it Friday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday then he won yesterday well whatever days it was right I think we watched it two days in a row he's in the gym every day were there but then I got home and I saw it on my phone I was like holy shit I don't even give a fuck about golf I know I'm happy how - I made a comeback a huge comeback with that mean that's amazing 11 years later oh my God I love those in so many right somebody put on Instagram one of my quotes oh yeah but I attached that was pretty cool that I love a guy get a like I love

what did I say I love a success story but even more than that I love a guy fucks his life up and then gets it back together again story it's the greatest yeah it's the greatest best when you realize like how much you must good must feel to that guy top of the world again and then he's like yeah so messed up and in the back problems and troubles in the kids and the wife nothing and just 11 years yeah and he didn't stop working he just went to work and went to work and went to were easy 11 years later and so he won major championship recently right did anyone win one it was a big deal he won a major championship within the last week of a monster but it wasn't it wasn't a major this this was the first major he's one in 11 years okay so the other one wasn't a major but it was a big event yeah it was a poem he wins that one ever has I wow he might be back he can he could fucking win big tournaments again and then he just oh it was so cool to see the crowd just kept building over the weekend and by yesterday it was massive thousands of people around the green just hanging

onam the relief that you saw just coming out of them with so great and that the end like he walks off where he's a kid he was only like 21 when he were on the first time hugging his dad at the edge and now he comes off 11 years later all this time and his dad's past and he's hugging his child his son now he's the father in the same spot oh it's just I was trying not to cry the whole time well it was such a tearjerker what relief people were just so happy for him wow such a great story we do love a comeback why not man I love a comeback on we we're all flawed like you were saying before but yeah being able to improve that's what that guy did he have it down and pre improved amazing proved his life yeah you never stop yeah went South and he picked it right back up and brought it North again yeah 11 years of doing it who in velen and failing to fail

yeah it's a beautiful it is beautiful such a cool thing yeah I was wondering like he wears that red shirt he's got to wear the red on Sunday as it's like his that's his thing that's his thing yeah and he was in light colors on Saturday and I was like does he just like free himself from that or he is that a Superstition that you got to kind of hang on to hmm your question yeah you know what do you think would happen if there was an openly gay black guy with blond hair only wore pink it was like the best golfer alive started dominating because great some dude is like SuperDuper gang yeah and he's just got this fucking crazy drive and and he gets down on the ground you can see the way the the Earth is rolling and the whole time he's doing he's like lisp in and snapping his fingers wiggling his but you know I pretty what would happen if he started just winning they're probably poison him you think they would poison him it was like a super flamboyant gay guy

who is winning out okay black or white they would poison I'm someone you don't think so I don't think so because golfers are so close to flamboyantly Queen yeah anyway the fuck are ya it's they're all pink and like oh my God big plaid pants they're like a bunch of old white dudes straight white dudes who want to be gay but it's all this country club life right the big part of it yeah you're gonna have that guy swishing around back and forth a locker room that burned his fingers staring at Dick's no no no no no no he's he's gotta I've gotta catch phrase his hair shaved except for a curly man bun that just popped straight up and it's blond and he wears lipstick and he's a motherfucker at golf he's just killing fools I just love my iron maybe we maybe would Open golf up to everybody else yeah what happened like do you think that Tiger Woods Tiger Woods he also

and up golf for people of color right clearly they got into it because of him and how many how many people got in the Gulf there would have never even thought about playing golf or Chirac tiger could play yeah start opening up to inner cities Rivals were starting to get involved in it what about the gay community are they represented in professional golf like the flamboyant dress like the Bee Gees in the 70s their collection Joe they're wearing plaid pants they're wearing K there where outage cil's you you have xenophobia that's how people from Scotland dress I was just saying they would they would be embraced you know Scotland's a weird place like you have to dress a certain way when you hunt there uh-huh or at least they have a certain way they dressed like a traditional way like that but it's not like they don't wear camo it's like an outfit yeah it's like an outfit like what are they where the world like close weird old-timey clothes I like that yeah like tradition um yeah I know you did that's why I brought it up

Dane went hunting in Scotland his television show where he had a where some crazy-ass outfit right you get suited for this outfit this traditional hunting outfit it's pretty cool yeah a lot of those that's why should a lot of those places like Scotland to from I think most of it was like private land right I think back in the day like that was what Robin Hood was all about right Robin Hood was originally supposed to be about someone who was poaching and hunting on the Kingsland because they were hungry so they're stealing from the rich to feed the pool gentlemanly Pursuit hunting and shooting a tire wow how they dress does that help you helps me be a good Hunter because are you to goof on them or does it like does that help does that get in the way of hunting or is that help hunting that's not helpin shit those boots are kind of fresh so go back to his boots yeah man that guy looks at his boots can you make them

larger look at those fresh boots those - I wear those on stage that guy would I get in trouble for cultural appropriation wearing someone's stuff if they're white to now that work and now that if they're more powerful than you than your okay like how does that work how does it work you can't take from how much what percentage of Native American do you have to have a new to wear moccasins who a lot the castle jacket how about the leg the suede tassel jacket like Roger daltrey's like the rebels in the 70s War I wanted one so bad when I was in high school they look so cool the Easy Rider with The Fringe on it it's all moving me driving and I want your arm out the window with a car it's flopping around yeah you're on stage singing the ladies must yeah look at that oh Gloria come on strips of leather see but that goes too far so you have it's because they have the Native American thing on the sleeve

this one right here no not that other one well that one's yeah you get that one for that one if you do that one you better kill the bear that used for those fucking teeth yeah that's two that's ridiculous now there's a white guy version of that which would that's a girl that's a girl claims to be a Healer right yeah that's would wear that

see if you wear that in Texas you're okay oh my exit yeah okay Daniel Boone yeah walk out of here with that one that one's dark I want I don't like you wearing a dark one know what are you Prince feel like that guy what do you a Trapper that's too light that looks terrible that Craigslist terrible he's get The Fringe on the bottom I'm gonna do that it's gonna separate us from everybody else the curtains on the bottom or Fringe like a nice skirt and a find a fine restaurant look at Elvis Elvis had tassels Elvis had rainbow tassels you could get away with it if you're Elvis if you if you're working for Enterprise Rent-A-Car I think you may be aware that yeah Elvis got away with some wild shit who the fuck would jump suits for Elvis jumpsuits it was him and Evel Knievel look at all oh man look at that Hendricks oh my God that's yeah see what he's doing something he's playing a guitar he's moving around he's got a headband if you just if you're

making snow cones you know that's not your jacket man I wanted one when I was in high school I wore my tea I would never put that back up put that picture Barrel look at that that look how good does it look and I could never wear he's got Fringe on a yet what is a greenish yellow how would you describe that color it's like a teal like a light teal a light teal he's got he's got bell-bottoms the lot of chassid washed bell-bottoms and he's got this cool jacket with fringes that are literally 2 feet long yeah and then a headband to and it's just his kind of fuchsia the headband right it's kind of reddish yeah like a light red and he's and it's on Jimi Hendrix that's the price that's the thing that we can't match when we could buy all those items but it's still our head it's not giving Hendrick well not only that it's 2019 to like back then like he was in the groove man oh man he was the yeah Phil Hartman saw him live when he was a young kid Phil was like 18 years

to get a job at the whisky and his job was you know how they have those giant monitors on the stage and sometimes those things would fall like into the crowd but she's right like especially someone standing on that or doing a show so like they're kind of they're a little wobbly just stand right there so his job was to stand right by the stage like literally have his hands like ready to catch these speakers this is a false job yes and Hendricks is right there Hendrick is right and he's 18 oh man in my brain oh my God right in front of him let the thing just don't see the same right in front of them Jesus I don't know why oh my God yeah kiss the sky I was that close to Blues Traveler once I don't think that's the same and this was harmonica this writing is passed shortly before Jimi Hendrix died oh really yeah he died when he was

I didn't like who is the magic age right there's five was it it's 2011 I think the magic age of 27 it's they're all dying were Mars Janis Joplin yeah it's not the magic age didn't he where did he 27 wow yeah what year did he die was it 69 70 70 1970 so Phil you know that's amazing film was probably like 17 years old or something like that wow yeah God fuck that's amazing yeah did he have it one of those fringe jackets I don't know I didn't ask that but the way he described it a man is wage ascribed his like running into Jesus while you're out on a hike oh yeah real it was crate will fit was a musician too yeah so when you know he talked about it

we have like this crazy gleam to his hoshi's you know it's like he was right fucking there is right there yeah come on don't don't I and Rex please I wanted and I wanted one of those fringe jackets when I was in high school so I play football until I was a senior and then when Once football season is over I have a half a year left of school and that's why I smoked weed for the first time started playing guitar and I want to win a fringe jackets I didn't have them but I did get a pair of moccasins for a little while hmm I wore moccasins did they have beads they did not have beets but they had a little French to little tassels they were like was just a little Fringe yeah no soul yeah what's the purpose of Fringe like that's like when you think of a Trapper jacket right when I'm dead Boone Davy Crockett type dudes style give am wearing that is that what I was really yeah what were they have any style back then everybody's got style back then it seems like they were just trying to stay alive yeah the weak ones the cool ones still trying to get laid

I think Daniel Boone wasn't trying to work it a little bit look at this buckskins are often trimmed with a fringe originally a functional detail to allow the Garment to shed rain and to drive faster when wet because The Fringe a series of Wicks to disperse the water or quills interesting okay wait a bit wow buckskins derive from here's can clothing worn by Native Americans oh wow how about that that's genius smarter than you now so it hangs down and the water goes through all the tissue in the deer and gets to the bottom so those little things get wet but the thing that you're wearing the touch of your skin is dry you think by now that deer would have had Fringe on their outfits I think the don't give a fuck you're a really hot all right their body temperature is much higher than ours oh really that's one of the weirder things about when you put your hands on one so yeah inside of them the really hot like if your souls were 98 Degrees what do they like

I don't know I would I would if I had to guess I'd say it's it's more than a hundred oh yeah I would say that yeah I bet they're probably like a hundred and five something like that what what is it which is what's the body temperature at brought up the cooking temperature and that's why people love dear you don't have to cook them their preheated same as most unusual it switches 37.5 to 38.5 degrees Celsius which which we don't understand well just type in that preheated dear me 38.5 degrees Celsius what do you think that is if you had to guess I don't have a clue what was the what was the number 38 degrees Celsius oh that's a hundred and five is it no it's like ninety ninety nine point five to a hundred yeah right in the same range that's it like this one or two higher some with a little bit fever oh I did something that you

you would enjoy you might even done this speaking of body heat I was in San Francisco last weekend really performing and I was working with my friend Kira's soltanovich very funny comedian kicks ass she's Russian she grew up up there and she brought me to a Russian like bathhouse all they beat you up it sticks yeah do you ever do that no the they called Banya Bond yeah man oh man you go into a sauna a two-level sauna so it's even hotter like up with the the top like an attic in a sauna super hot and you lay down on this bench and they take these bushes he's dead yeah and they were they wet them and then they start beating you with him not a lot of real sure it's too it's so hot it you're in a sauna you're already really really and then that thing that thing is hot too and that thing's hot and with the with the steam coming off of the

inches as they're beating your back it creates a little a little pocket that gets even hotter so it just brings your body to the make it whether high temperature they're making weapon making whether they really are only and yeah for about 15 minutes hmm and you come out of there and just feel to jump in the cold afterwards yeah into a cold plunge yeah all the way under this really cold water amazing yeah the Russians really like that fade or Emelianenko was like one of the greatest heavyweights if not the greatest heavyweight of all time one of the things that you'd see about is training what does it was that it was very old school Russian like they did a lot of stuff on the parking or in a playground uh-huh just like they did a lot of stuff in the playground and he Incorporated the Banya that was a part of it like he's see him lying there and beat him with sticks there you go yeah you don't show time see there yeah that's what yeah they figured something out you know all the people great invented sauna they figured something out

there's something about that extreme temperature that just it's very good for your ability to cooperate you feel better it reduces inflammation so great and I went in there I've been traveling so hard over the last couple of months I've just been knotted up I've just been like I was like maybe I'll do this and then get a massage after because that'll really a gentleman like a gentleman yeah and we didn't have time she had to go she was driving me she had to go do something so we only had time for that part when I came out of the the Bania or Banya I didn't need a massage everything was relaxed everything had changed and just like 15 minutes yeah it was great man I wish it was a wish I don't know if there's they have them in LA or not but I'd like to seek them out then another have them in New York one in West Hollywood there is a photo spot something like that yeah they go bro a lot of dongs keep you bit pants a lot of dogs well it was optional hey clothing optional and

Kira you know we're like you know we're co-workers and she's wearing nothing she's totally naked and then there's dogs everywhere there's dogs everywhere she's the dongs she sees the dogs I see that so girl were though we were the old on stared up grossing going dong skits tear in America what's that in America you can do this yeah San Francisco you sure yeah girls his walk in a room with dongs they were naked the girls are naked between here and I were the only ones with clothes on because we worked with each other send in Immigration ice sin I sin to that place sending the troops on alert yeah there's something going on there bro this is Dicks everywhere hope that open that door has is you cool with dicks in front of you I'm not I wasn't doing here I was looking away cops just come in fucking masks on an ad on alert yeah they throw one of those what are those gas canisters that flashbangs

just grabbing everybody their dongs pulling them out everybody would have loved that wagon it would all run out grabbing it that's the first thing you gonna grab someone throws a tear gas canister explodes in a room to cover your Rod deck first I'm wearing pants so I was the only one with pants on and you kind of feel like everyone was looking at you like pussy you're making us feel like shamed because you're wearing pants - just take them off but I couldn't I'm with my yeah that's a gay pause that's a tactic that's what that is yeah that's a tactic yeah what kind of 20 min so tactic the trying to like come on man show us your dick this is how you show everyone you did you get together with five your buddies and you all are real comfortable with seeing each other's dicks right we're gonna get to see my keys dick how you gonna do that we're going to shame them I'm going to shame them into showing us his dick and we're going to take our dicks out we're going to walk into that steam room just going to let your nuts hang why isn't he going Mike what the fuck are you doing with your bed take your goddamn pants off and then we'll go right all right Jesus why does everyone wanna see my keys so bad because Mike you're probably a little dick which are keeps

it's on does nothing but I look like I felt like everybody thinks I have a small one because I got my pants but that's not it purely for research purposes I was on line the other night Googling into dick surgery dick enlargement surgery it was after that billionaire guy actually died what yeah he was a diamond dealer he was in his 60s and I want to say it was

I don't know it was in Europe or somewhere anyway homeboy got some dick surgery and died on the operating table wow I didn't even know they're doing that she's like surgery got you you don't you don't let my grandmother had a saying don't let anyone mess with your eyes or your dick yeah there it is he goes the gentleman had been honey where you going he had a heart attack in the middle of the procedure which isn't FDA approved then says is it safe Dunt Dunt uh I think anytime you go under it's not a hundred percent safe anytime they're putting you under and cutting you open I went under for the first time last month it was an aesthetic deaths those from the anesthetic that's what I'm saying yeah they put you under man you can fucking die I know I was worried about and he's an older fella I think that guy was in his 60s includes surgical lengthening which involves cutting a ligament hey at the base of the penis

or filler injections I'll go with filler let's see what you do at filler first then if I'm going to cut my dick later filler filler talk like that on foam you spray into the insulation and they come through the asshole what is this implant for men ah gee whoa mr. ball clicked I don't know falling hold on hold on you're going to shove plastic and your dick is that what that guy has yeah like a sling well I'll go stop stop stop stop stop it stop scrolling but no no look at this thing you have you could pick your size a sleeve like Ashley you didn't show that dick on TV not just for you guys yeah well then pull it up bro how does that work they can stick the extra long because what if you like a God oh my God oh my God this is so good but we're only talking about a nation it looks like a little piece of gutter a small incision is made just above the base of the penis where your pubes are ya and that okay let me just slide it down

hello shaft I got I got one word for everybody ready what is it infection ah what if you get a dick infection oh my God one word for you popular think that worse implant is secure Now hidden sutures which are generally not detectable by a patient or whatever oh so you have like this sleeve inside the skin I'll tell you what's going on now though in porn this is some real shit they have they have GMO did we take some our there's GMO dicks now what extra way bigger I was watching an old porn film with John Holmes well we were kids yeah John Holmes is the guy with the biggest dick yeah John Holmes has a regular dick compared to porn stars for real just a specially in this sounds racist black guys well of course races in the right direction though yes and I saw a guy the other day that I was like that can't be real that literally can't be real his dick was so big it was Preposterous he probably had an 18

DEC 18 18 inch thick it was so and it was his thick around as your fucking wrist it was ridiculous there was a girl who's trying to suck on it I was like see I don't think the girls want this girls like this I mean I don't know maybe the girl was 50 pounds I don't think so and even if she was he still had a 12 inch thick it was gigantic it was so ridiculously big that as I was watching this film was like okay what's happened over the last 20 30 years with porn that we've evolved said yeah he just got a lot of guys out of in the recruitment yeah I guess right but like the perception of what a dick was from like yeah hear them saying like there's this implant that may or may not work that we just watched that little commercial for it was brutal yeah but outside of that yeah what would cause like a girl if girls wanted bigger boobs they get a boob job yeah that's common yeah we used to that but guys with giant dicks I don't think they're getting

abrasions I think push these are just just a crop of dudes with giant dicks out a new you know a new class of guys it's levels and they're on another level they're on another level of dicks are so big because her crew line in the fuck we've had a real great draft this year it's different it's like people the big dick dudes from like the 1970s and 80s they had kids with people ate a lot of vitamins maybe it was an optical illusion because we had more pubes back then no no no no you didn't see have no no no no no no this guy was these guys are mass this guy had a snake yeah it was a snake it was a fat snake that you would like capture in the Everglades it was this is why I kept my pants on at the Banya I didn't want people yeah if you date if you got a dick like that you just swing that thing anywhere you want whenever you want it who cares who cares well anyway I'm sure this black white dudes that have giant dicks to I just there's a couple not seeing them I'm not seeing him at the same with this

I'm just being honest the limited amount of research that I've done is a there is a difference anybody says I mean for the I think what your defense mechanism was right like rightly to say yeah women don't want that they don't want that giant dick that hurts them every time I get a pro come on I know where you're coming from you know I won by ladies to be happy not upset some girls wanna be upset that guy by the way billionaire mmm in his 60s yeah even thinking about this board why are you even these board isn't that amazing but if you got that much money stop and think about that you're in your 60s you got that much money you have billions of dollars and how much time do you have left and what do you do with your money and what do you do with your time you know the good dudes probably fucking bored as shit we who has it come down to sex go why not get a hobby you're so old timey look at this each injection of hyaluronic acid fillers cost between 250 and

hours and adds girth row said person patients usually begin with about 10 10 injections injection filler injections whoo how Jesus Christ is not good the patient could have given him general anesthesia which may be exacerbated pre-existing heart condition so Jesus Christ got heart he had a heart condition this guy yeah see they live it you know what hold on put that back on it says if you're getting general anesthesia and you have an underlying malady in your heart you will unmask that and it will show itself hmm Jesus people are so bored so all this money and it just makes you more board ultimately yeah ridiculous I think people just get

on a path right and what is the path the path is to to acquire success yeah when you're doing something like selling diamonds you know congratulations you're making a lot of money people like to buy diamonds but what are you doing what are you doing those diamonds and you're buying diamonds you selling diamonds are buying time and you're getting older and you're like oh my God I'm at the end of the ride what am I doing what was this right about yeah I'm not excellent big enough fuck it and why went in before going in we're gonna take anesthesia gonna get a dick fixed but because he was just essentially moving money around he wasn't making something easy think that's it that there was no Worth to what he was doing I think just like he wasn't being satisfied mentally with his

job with his work with his life yeah I think this is probably a lot of people in his sort of position a lot of people who are billionaires who are financiers and bankers and stuff where they're following a similar spot where the like what unless they have something they really enjoy doing outside of work you know what it really captivates their time and that's their passion if that's the case bro you're 65 right get out yeah get out of the work is stop stop just get a different High wow what are you doing yeah but but the other thing is when you're around people like that right and it's not a bad thing it's a life choice but if you're around flossie people if you're a person who likes rolls royces and giant mansions and you know you like that baller I got a big fat diamond ring lifestyle yeah that guy's around those people because he's selling diamond rings selling diamonds right diamonds motherfucker it's get billions for some time carrots you want 48 million dollars whoo look at that

blue a blue diamond 48 oh yeah I've million 48 million his father bought our first daughter wow magic Rock Dam magic you're the daughter you lose that shit you're out drinking no you're fucking pull your panties down to pee in a curb I'm so hammered I'm so fucking Hamid and then bring my dad's gonna just slips right off where you're throwing up throwing up in a dumpster my dad's gonna kill me

yeah maybe the daughter was 40 it makes you realize that the things that you that really give you worth in life is not the Joe it's something that's going to engage your head and make you feel a little useful you're way better off having less dough and something you really love Yeah but that's only if you have a certain amount of dough that's the problem yeah stress of not having enough money to feed yourself feed your family and while your roof over your head that's overwhelming for people especially as we were talking about earlier people have fucking credit card debt or student loan debt or some insurmountable amount of debt it can't get out of yeah just hangs on you then you're not really thinking about what's meaningful for my what's meaningful hobby for me oh dude it's the worst yeah the the feeling of debt is the fucking worst and then the feeling of just working for nothing that's also bad too there's the feeling of like every day you're doing it just to exist at the end of the day you're exhausted so what is your life yeah what is your life is your your life all this shit you hate to do

yeah well that's the answer for most people most people most of the time the answer is you're doing something you hate to do and it's been me and I know it's been you at some point in your life yeah but goddamn the the amount that your life can change if you just no longer have to do something you don't want to do it you could do something that you actually enjoy whatever it is whether it's carpentry or painting or whatever the fuck it is that you love to do you think it has to be your work or do you think you could be at work there you're like kind of into it but then you have some other passion that's because out of that but you're also if your work isn't satisfying that's most of your life yeah people get you gotta do what you gotta do of course he do of course you have to do what you got to do that goes without saying yeah so figure out we had of there everybody's got a way out I don't people love to say things like that like hey some people don't have that luxury people love to say things like that you have to acknowledge that but that's

that's the case with anyone who's ever done anything where it was hard to do right it's always it's always going to be hard to do that that it's easy for you to say of course it's easy for me to say I'm just saying it's the easiest thing in the world I'm gonna put a rocket on the moon see I just said it wow think about how hard is it for you say exactly I'm gonna course it's easy to say but the difference just as a person who's done both the difference between doing something you hate doing and doing something you love doing it's off the charts how much better your life is no absolute if you're making less money even if you're making less money exactly because you know to use comedy is an example because it's what we are when you were making five dollars a night literally 5 mm night is a comedian I was so much happier than when I had a day job oh yeah making real money once the I remember the feeling of being able to make a living with just stand up yeah like what like holy can get another good living just getting by in my beginning was super shaky

yeah super shaky right I started making money I was making like a little bit of money in Boston but I always had day jobs do you want to move to New York and then Jeff started managing me then I started making money like I he get me booked in places and I was doing I was working pretty much every weekend who was Jeff's ozman - ozman longtime manager yeah start manage me when I was an open mic ER how nice yeah we've been together forever well he's the best you still with him yep wow love them that's amazing best that's amazing he's the best I love the guy that's great he's awesome person to and just brilliant at his job yeah super low-key doesn't give a fuck about Hollywood just oh that's great but you know yeah he's understands it in the right do right he doesn't care like to do what makes you happy what you just want you to be happy it's awesome so he picked you up when you're doing open mics to dude I'll scrub wasn't even supposed to go on stage that night really yeah he came into town he had managed some other comedians remember Bob Nelson no Bob Nelson oh yeah Jeffy Jeff

got ya oh my God he managed to him oh really yeah and he produced his HBO special wow and they were parting ways and their parting ways and Javis like well maybe I've seen everybody that I've seen in New York maybe I'll take a trip to Boston so he took a trip to Boston and just fucking dumb luck when I was driving limos I wrote a joke that day I had this joke and I called up my friend Oliver who was the manager at the club and I said hey man can I come in and do like five minutes because I have this joke want to try out sure come on in and he liked me so he hooked me up and I went on stage and I didn't even know Sussman was in the room when cuz I didn't know he was in the room I didn't give a fuck I was super loose you knew who he was at that point no I didn't know you didn't know he was so just didn't it wouldn't but I knew that there was a manager from New York right that handled Bob Nelson I'd be like holy shit I'd probably freak out sure and choke I mean my act as shaky as fuck back then anyway you know

only like of course and a half three years in a comedy something like that terrible happened yeah anything did often yeah you know what was really interesting like he took me to New York to he saw me there and then he took me to New York to try out he wanted to see me perform and some other clubs so he said we are you willing to come down in New York so I said sure yeah I've always wanted to I was so nervous about performing in New York yeah of course I thought New York City was different it was like more nervous than when he came to see me the second time in Boston I was more nervous to perform in New York so I can't believe I was one of it catch a rising star which doesn't exist anymore yeah just Legends forget it your head yeah yeah big thing it son because you don't know it yet yeah well it was like the New York Comics were always like the Smart Ones we thought that was the thought process the ancient your thought process in boss like the audiences are smarter than not gonna buy your bullshit smarter over there and I know you're not funny you're gonna no you're gonna no end

it's really funny it's like he's Sussman we were talking about like clean comedy versus dirty comedy there was no really Des real decision like you know like because back then people would like decide to be clean it wasn't like your clean comic because that's how you think you're right well if you want to get more work the smart moves don't clean is a business decision as a business decision should dress nice and a clean it took me to this place called we went to a bunch of places did each side comedy club which is cool comedy club that used to be in Long Island then he took me to this place called Fast Eddie's and Huntington and it was a it was a local bar that had a comedy night wow we went upstairs and it was so the crowd was so fucking Rowdy and so drunk and there was a dude on stage name was George Gallows hilarious dude yeah who was doing a reverse shit with with a banana is like as you're waiting to go on so you had a banana that he was like he's somehow or another slurping it

it was a reverse shit and he's doing this in front of you know these people are hammered it's like a Wednesday night or some shit right and sussan says he grabs her by the arm you don't have to perform here we're gonna we're gonna get out of here and I said no fucking way I go listen man these are my people I go I go just trust me let me go up my peeps I'm like this is what I do man all the gigs and I got him boss were all barking yeah handle this yeah you can hard you get tough yeah we'll also plus it's once you've done a bunch of them yeah it's like chaos it's fun you know what to do what to do yeah for sure different kind of comments like combat comedy yeah which was at that time you ran into that more than you didn't run into that toilet even today if you get Road gigs of your a up-and-coming guy yeah or gal and you get wrote especially if you're a gal yeah girls got get it way harder in the early days but people like my friend's girlfriend admitted the other day that when she sees a female comedian

inch at a comedy club should cringes still to this day she goes I get super uncomfortable when they start going on stage and when they're if they're funny it's a huge relief oh my God isn't that crazy as a feminist I hate saying that it's terrible I consider myself a feminist I hate saying I feel like it's gotten beyond that I feel like there's so many oh yeah such strong top of the chain but if you're in some weird club and middle of nowhere and some yeah I get the I get that for you I get like especially if you're a feminist and you're around you just don't want her to bomb because that you think well they're all the rest of the audience is going to think that's what all those that are oh yeah there's that too and there's that she just doesn't think they're funny very often chooses she's not a comic so she's just being honest about it and we were laughing when a girl says I like oh no oh yeah when he was home but back then it was like every time even in like good clubs like the comic strip or Caroline

I was just like it was war war it was war but nothing compared to like the get you ever get any of those Bob Gonzo gigs in New Jersey oh yeah hey oh God yeah it was like a frat party that never just through you up they didn't want comedy than those wrong how many so they turn you they season you in a different way they season you for like like The Comedy Store was similar to that for a long time because Tommy store in the early days had no crowd control no I mean literally zero yeah so the crowd wasn't it is in control sometimes yeah no one ever shot anybody up know but the new regime it's handled so much differently is a New Concept so much better so much better but it did make you bulletproof now you know how to handle drunk you came through that are through that time maybe it's still exist when you're going through but yeah you just if you do that many gigs that's why I don't I really don't believe in

going to your one little Salt Room over and over again where you know your coddled and supported and I really believe that you have to go into all these hellish situations so you just anywhere you go you know you can go and Kill Ya that's an important part to being a comedian yeah and you also as you become a successful comedian you could fall into the Trap of only performing in front of your audience right you know you really do have to drop in on other people shows yeah right you people don't know who you are and why yeah that's what's great about the store line up to write this 15 comedians right and they're probably not there to see you there to see this guy that GAR ol yeah no it's great yeah yo you have to be able to survive because you see people to come out of those other environments and then they get thrown into this and they they don't know how to act yeah I think comedy is like a lot of other things that are difficult there's things that you can do to get better at those you know like they say that

like if you take if you learn languages you could get better at chess I read something about that Som make sense don't make that up it sounds about right Google that I would learn a new language it'll make you better at chess I might have made that up just the way you might have been high lying in bed trying to think if all the different like cross training methods how could it be better at chess do you play chess no but I want to but I'm scared it's fun I'm scared why you saw me play Quake earlier I have addiction problems I have a crazy Addiction problems chess is addicting Tom Papa walked in and Jeff and I were going to war oh we're going at it it was the most intense thing I've ever seen you do is intense its intense both of you on the keyboard and thanks sweating your ass off in front of these monitors you were taking like deep deep breaths in the middle of it you sketches just firing off at each other it wouldn't have got to try to stay calm and these were in this very small map so I always

know where he is he always knows where I am and there's a limited amount of ammunition and armor and when you get jacked and you come back less strong with a weaker weapon you got to run to get a good weapon quick then you gotta run to get where the fucking Armor isn't he knows where that shit is so it's a crazy duel like oftentimes if he kills me he'll kill me two or three times in a row it was so much faster than I thought it was going to be oh yeah I mean in real intense is it always that like you're just in one Courtyard one stone Courtyard Runner is many many maps you can just go yeah this is that's a good one for one-on-one okay like we have these one-on-one matches the who the most fun because there's no other variables right the variables of like if there's like ten people to ruin everybody's shooting everybody which is a lot of these Maps I'll show you that too that's where more chaos oftentimes you get killed when you're fighting a guy and then someone comes from behind you didn't see him and they shoot you it's annoying so how addicting is this for you oh real real it's real problems you used to do it right yeah I'm way better at now I'll do like for an hour and then I'll

then you'll be good and the old days it's very addictive but everything is addictive to me man every day now all of it anything I like I know I like is like it becomes addictive that's why your shoulders messed up yeah but it's not the shoulder that was more of a maintenance thing wasn't it wasn't that bad was just getting a little sore and I wanted to get looked at there was some tendonitis in there right so I just I'm real ProActive at 51 I have to be real proactive about injuries and when things feel squirrelly yeah that's the problem we can get hurt and then you can't work out any more Mmm Yeah I like it too much yeah I like but even if it's not something as intense as Jiu-Jitsu hmm I just need to do something whether it's yoga or running is is like me no workout me work out I liked me when I work out so much more I like me better it happened to me in San Francisco after the day after the Banya I'm just I just woke up I good shows Friday I'm just like but I just woke up like

kissed in a shitty mood just kind of yeah and I knew if I could just get my shoes on and go for a run I'm a whole day is going to be different yep and it's so it's a half hour just going out doing a comeback and I was like totally in the same room just feeling completely different like crazy it's just a mental let's show your flooding your brain with all the beautiful thoughts and ideas that happen in there while you're running while you're breathing you got all these fucking ideas that come to your brain to get interested you're breathing and you're running you're constantly rolling out slow down a little bit here so I don't know it'll be any other fuck yeah we're out here doing it you're running yeah I did it's a big deal and this who knows what chemicals are firing off a no-brainer man did it's my dog

and me because we run together I like Inseparable really just crazy it's hilarious and follows me everywhere like when I sit down I says right next to me as I've never had a relationship with a dog like this oh man I've had dogs that I loved that were great but this dog is like Stuck To Me Like Glue it's well it's so great part of it is because we run so much yeah I guess so thrilled he's so happy when we run he turns and he'll run ahead of me and then I'll come back to me to check up on me it comes back and runs with like this big smiles face like I can't believe we're out here because it's running runs again how far are you running with him a couple miles that's in the Hills just pretty steep hills oh that's good yeah work out yeah if I'm if I have a short time I can do there's one real steep trail that I run this once to each other we have to drive to a little bit to some but it's super steep oh yeah it's way out near like Agoura that one's rough yeah

that's a rough one that's got to be tough yeah because it's real long it's like the whole thing is the hills because the hills are no pounding right and get a good Hill onto you it's way harder so what I just I based it on a hundred forty beats a minute anytime I get below a hundred forty beats a minute I'd start running again but I'll do these Sprint's I'll go as far as I can I get it in the 180s and then when I'm like fuck I gotta take a break I'll just take a break and I'll look at my heartbeat get my heart beat down now somewhere in the 140s 40 any way around 1:45 that I'm ready to go again right and then I'll go again and I'm usually like 160s yeah running dude it's rough Hills are rough tiles are really different thing but it's changed my kicking power oh yes the gave me more kicking power yeah yeah I can kick believe it or not it's probably like I want us to like 10% 5 or 10% more power from the runs yeahmaybe hips are bigger as I got this muscles around my like my butt

like the hip area right you know like where your belt is like right below where you belted I never had a muscle there right like I'm like what is that you crazy that's awesome Hills this is all from running hills so when I Stomp Like if I stomped about a front kick to the bag that that forward thrust is the same thing you're doing all the time when you're running right you're running you're pushing off one leg you pushing off the other leg and you push because you're going up a hill yeah when you're kicking you're pushing off that leg and thrusting that other leg forward it's crazy is your dog go down the hills did you talk to my dog ever get tired yeah get tired yeah it's we know when they get tired they get tired when you throw the ball is then it's a Sprint it's a Sprint and then you bring it back a Sprint bring it back here has like seven times like y'all bro I'm gonna lie down over here like no no come on man give me that ball come on man my sister has to put down her dog tonight 16 year old dog a big like a like almost like a spaniel kind of thing wow 16 years and she's just

just been hanging on she's just been the greatest and tonight 7:30 wow just has to go and just there's no joy left she just can't go anymore it's gonna be rough I've talked to her on my way in it's just like what a brutal thing I have to do yeah it's over 16 years yeah my dog get hit by a car when I was like 14 so 14 or 15 right in front of me taking her across the street we had we had a busy street in her house and some car came down the street really fast she got off the leash and ran right into this hitter in a Volkswagen ah yeah it was rough dude I brought her up so I carried her up to the house she died instantly she died in like

it's downloading like 15 20 minutes that's so brutal is rough she started shitting all over the place how old was she she wasn't that old yeah maybe five or six it's brutal there's nothing worse yeah so painful sweet dog too yeah it's a bummer my she just loved being in the park and we were headed to the park and she just got a little too excited and ran you know I didn't see the car coming I didn't get a hold of her collar and Tom it's brutal it was so bad it was so bad she but she you know she got knocked fly not even know she was going to die you couldn't tell it was all the injuries were internal brought upstairs she start shitting herself start shitting all over the place now it was very unusual for her she was yeah whose house trained yeah you know I was really scared have you had to go through any pet deaths with your kids yet yeah the to my two dogs so I just had to put both of my dogs down my dog's reaction yeah yeah they were

13 it was a Mastiff he was 13 wow that's great run the pursuer Mastiff at the end I used to have to carry him into the house yeah he couldn't walk anymore he would walk like literally would be like he would walk a step walk uh Stephanie just stay in his legs and be shaking Maraca step two walks and had the kids handle it they're really sad yeah it's hard man isn't that the hardest thing when you watch your kids have to deal with it so it makes it so much harder yeah this is mean it's but they're trying to be brave I think there's a lesson in it you know oh for real I think it's it's not a good experience but I think it's good for them to experience oh yeah absolutely especially that through it you know a pet death and and just cut this having those little relationships with animals you know when you're a kid it's like your dog you can always talk to them and oh yeah exact crazy shit your dog and how your dog could be sitting room with you and you go you know what

it's just you and me you're the only one understands me there ain't guards are who your parents are acting like assholes no one likes you in the house but your dog still does yells at me don't run away You're Gonna Come with me let's go I'm going down I'm taking the dog Mom it's the past for watching your kids like trying to be brave trying not to cry that is a such a heartbreaker just trying to be like oh look okay ha ha ha ha just the worst yeah he's like kill me hey do you notice deep up by your house we have mosquitoes now really we have like legit then we never had mosquitoes that he Reign there's like real mosquitoes and and they bite you only from like your knee down everybody around where I live is saying the same thing so we've never had mosquitoes if you just wear pants then your problem solved

I only wear pants so how they biting you I'll take my shoes off once in a while don't do that you're right though I have noticed mosquitoes I noticed him last night we never had them yeah in Southern California before I don't know where they're coming from what we definitely had them just didn't have many of them and this is how I know we had him I moved into a house once and Encino and no one had lived there for like at least a year I think and the pool had not been tended to so the pool was filled with mosquito larvae and brow I mean it's like fish like schools of fish oh my God around there I was freaking out as like what is that are these fish and I you know hired this guy Kevin the pool guy and Kevin the pool guy came over and he was like brother those are mosquito larvae oh my God no way it's a new thing we used to have our doors open or windows open no screens no problem but now all of a sudden just this last year yeah we're so sad you have to live like the rest of world now I don't know why

do I live here if I have to put screens on my windows do you think that'll last will change I don't know have you heard about this you should actually that I posted yesterday about that yellow mustard plant yeah black monster looks yellow plus like oh that's nice and it was the most awful ominous posting though what's very strange man because she doesn't exist before like I never saw the like on the same Hills where I'm seeing it dominate the hill yeah it literally didn't exist a year ago and now it's just like an invasive plant yeah it's a crazy plan I just looked up mosquitoes in Los Angeles and the thing starts an article from the end of last year but it says have you experienced an unusual number of mosquitos bites the summer most people know the excuse me mostly below the knee and especially around your ankles how about that it's a called an aide it's called 80s and AIDS but it's braids bug you have a TSA edes and that's a real problem wow yeah it's a problem it's a real problem it's what do I live in Spain

just read it dese and it's a real problem that's funny they're spreading like wildfire so Sue's include directive scientific and Technical Research Services for the Greater Los Angeles County vector control district sounds like Suzanne needs money for fucking business that's what sounds like to me bro our phones right bloating fake news kidding Los Angeles is home to two particularly troubling types of invasive aedes mosquitoes oh man they're convinced the Asian tiger mosquito arrive first having hitched a ride with shipments of Lucky Bamboo from China you and your bamboo I'll take my post barbell I think it's like a polymer China in 2001 vector control specialist monitored plant nurseries across the county

and soon stopped finding the mosquitoes in their traps they thought the insects had been eradicated however in 2011 residents in El Monte began complained about unusually aggressive daytime biting mosquitoes plague in the neighborhood yes in the daytime mosquito this is happening they even infiltrated what do you think would happen if people started seeing malaria mmm in America hey that can I Haz mat happened good question I'm sure dr. Peter hotez could you explain that to us right when he's talking about infectious diseases from

malaria is a Larry has mm I know when I was still living in Ohio West Nile Virus to pop up a lot with mosquitoes do not like not like everyday or anything like that I know that have to spray certain neighborhoods all the time like stay and keep the kids and keep your pets and we're spraying your neighbor yeah Wesley trial I didn't sign up for this how about how about signing up for spraying scary than the West Nile because the sprays you need to everybody they used to spray when I was a kid in New Jersey they would spray for the Gypsy Moths Jesus they just come with me when even tell us this is like look at that plane and shit would be coming out of its ass and think of the difference between the way of butterfly gets treated and a moth yeah well that's deserve it

dirty isn't it funny it's what it's like to be a little there a little chalky and they have a plain color we've got like that base for the same thing the same thing now they're gray or white well yeah but it's only the way they look yeah the butterflies beautiful but isn't that crazy orange black like we love them love them you find a spider you stop it you would never go to a zoo and go into the moth house if you kill a ladybug you're an asshole oh completely your type of person kills ladybugs yeah but if you don't kill roach I can't hang out with you if you like you let a roach run across the kitchen floor you like satnaam roach sot Namaste I see him I'll kill that fucking thing you got a roach in your kitchen lady right yeah what have you ever really find a little dots on it why are we racist with bugs because there's such thing as Beauty hmm okay that's why squirrels get a pass and rats don't yes bushy tail yeah we can kill

I like my friends jacket matches the tail was just because they found that if the Tails group bushy people would stop killing them yeah I mean what's more disgusting than just ask entail nothing on it awesome awesome stale possums don't even cause any problems they see us Ting possum tail you like oh you little fucking wretched bat will hands get that little hands and your little reptile tail fuck create a little fishy eyes yeah disgusting yeah but like we have certain animals that we like like raccoons look we don't rat cook like raccoons and are eating out of garbage but know if someone had a pet raccoon you would think that's the dopest thing ever we have we secretly want relationships raccoons if they would only be nicer to us we would Embrace raccoons raccoons don't want to have shit to do with us they don't I don't get it we are smart we're too smart for us we're nice to them the these people are assholes switch to go to sleep in either trash to see their favorite saver either garbage did they put Lids on it that she doesn't work they've got the cool black

Mass you lift the lid you throw it aside to pull the bag out their hands I know if people and say to us a little tiny people and I know I can grab stuff smoke cigarettes hang out yeah the next they also kill chickens well so do we do you know who's a real Predator skunks skunks are predators there's a skunk living in the back of my yard sprayed my dog oh no it's still there I think so come on bro man up what am I going to do take out the skunk hazmat suit a begun time to go to war I gotta go crawl into the thing and find them crawling anything you go look at his fucking hand look at that raccoons hair that shit's crazy it's like he's flaunting he's like it and look at that clock his hand is so much smaller than his face it's crazy imagine if your hand was that small and relationship to his the size of your head

he's adorable though isn't he he is cute little fellas like look at look you think I've stayed out of your garbage no way look what I'm working with do they have opposable thumbs because what I'm working with didn't quite seem like it now but it looks like five fingers you know thumb right that's the thing they never figured out look at his teeth they never figured it out like they had made in jazz hands dudes we just need a thumb let me see the teeth there we go he's got his mouth open do that whoa that way well that would really hurt fucking sucked look one of them is chipped if a yeah big from biting you in the head you think do you think if a raccoon attack to you could fight it off no wait well you could slump it would you do would you give up it might cut your neck when would you decide we're going to to the death immediately immediately yeah you wouldn't try to talk to Raccoon out of this no fuck off soon as he makes a move I'm ready know because I've been thinking about it since childhood oh look at that one I don't want that one bite my nose yeah it's like a hyena laughter raccoon who made that thing I've been thinking

these things are coming after us my whole life so if he makes a move it's on bro those teeth are goddamn terrifying yes look at those teeth now they're sneaky that's a big thing they're filled with rabies filled yeah to the top like their balls are heavy with race it's just losing out of which two water balloons raccoons wish strongest sense is touch Oh I thought you when I can raccoons rely on their hands more than their eyes and going to touch each study suggests that the sensitivity to touch increases when their hands are wet which might be why they always wash their food why I just wish my hands and now I am going to touch you when you sleep I'm going to touch you and your children were you sleeping with my finger hands I give a rat was as big as a raccoon and try to kill you you'd be fucking terrified now we'd be we'd be spraying oh if there are rats eyes thanks is going through a ah yeah but why do you think we'll spray for these mosquitoes I think it's time to call our Congressman well I think that

one's afraid of chemtrails and if you start spraying jeez it's circling Greater Los Angeles drop and poisoned down that's the rat with the pizza I've seen that Kylie other Pizza rat that's fees famous rats are disgusting too yeah they're pretty gross you seen that Netflix documentary on rats yeah no oh no oh really dude oh dude really yeah you need to watch it because it's it's educational it's not just gross and it's really gross but when you realize how many of them there really are in major cities yeah the biomass of them yeah it's stunning really York's all rat just as rats this is many rat is more or somewhere in the neighborhood of his many rats is there are people really and there's 8 million people and there's how many more as a mighty or more cheese yeah just think they know I mean you see them non-stop walking around they're just guessing yeah obviously

most of them are Subterranean most of my living in houses and most of them they burrow their way into tiny little holes how long does a rat live through question how long does a rat live because he they're born there's a lot of them but do they stick around for like 20 years do the documentary showed how they send young rats to try out poison really yeah the old rabbit that's they send them out there because they don't know any better they let him die they're just assholes wow yeah they here's a little tip if there ever were doing construction in New York in front of a restaurant you don't eat it you don't need on that street why because they're digging it up whatever their little ecosystem is and they're just ya know so if they're digging up the street they're dying somewhere else I would imagine New York he must be so hard to keep them out of the restaurant It's gotta be so hard I guess maybe leave some in the dumpster for them like you give a little offering to the monsters just ahead yeah like when they lose the tie the girl onto the the stakes for Kong leave everybody else alone I don't know

just kebab stick even put like your last job to see when you're closing down the restaurant you looking for rats rats are our friends put the skulls out well what is interesting what are those various sizes of them they mostly got about 2 pounds he says in New York City he doesn't think there's any other three because they'd be too big to be able to move around right like a physical or physiological limit to their size this is how long they live average about 2 years 1 to 2 years in the wild up to 4 if you have it as a pet well that's it my wife made it happen hamsters are like that my wife had rats for pets when she was a kid which goth no she was just like Jersey kid just loved animals and she would just ride her bike around in this rat with just be like on her shoulders Jesus Christ weird rat lady weird yeah it's what I get it if it's your but yes but she said they were having a girls aren't super affectionate yeah if you had its whole life and you raise it right yeah why not yeah it's not dirty it's not like going through the sewers and eating

and climbing on your hand right but it would have just let it go

maybe on a percent she like had it out with her go rat like you just let it Let it Loose in the wild how long would it take for how long would it take for domesticated rat to adapt to living in like a New York city sewer 40 seconds what do you think they were do hey guys are crazy fucking Disney movie look at you from the suburbs we've been living in a house yeah with like you know those multicolored rats they have like all these he a little different colors on them why you so clean with the pink hair oh you getting different colors look at you Hey Joe get a load of this one he's not even great hey how come you ain't gray look at you you're white you're Brown you like a fucking dog over there think you're better than us don't you yeah hey get over here I guess you don't know how to get into the restaurant do you looking hungry

what do you got money on you you give us some money will show you we get all the good food

yeah ever been a Little Italy wait till I show you what a brush roll the dice getting born a rat being born a rat oh the worst terrible nobody likes you no one likes you but you will have a you do survive pretty well you'd be better off being a javelina what's a javelina to peccary what's a peccary it's like a cousin to a pig what's a pig you see that Hallelujah Doug lives you know Doug lives in Bisbee Arizona Stanhope who by the way I think is so it's sold out but he's taping his his neck special in Vegas next month nice yeah in Vegas at school where he lives in Bisbee like he basically that's that's a javelina he lives really close to the Border like I think he's only like six miles in the Border some crazy shit and these things live in the wild out in the desert right fucking there aggressive ooh and they fucked up his neighbor's dog they kill his neighbors

oh no yeah man they the dog was out and the javelinas will flank it like to get on both sides of it and they like in the pack yeah they hunt in a pack and they will attack a small dog poo that thing's disgusting either gross that's like a giant rat it looks like a giant rat well it does look like oh it looks like a pig fuck Darrell so many shot in the face though crossbow people hunt them all the time looks like a pig fucked a rat I should have got shot one or does look like a pig fuck to right yeah click on the guy who shot one

yeah bow and arrow a lot of guys hunt them with archery equipment see wouldn't it be better if he was dressed in like that coat with a tie none of those boots no I don't want that thing to see you look at that that's a rat face oh that is such crap please go back to the picture they'll a giant body scrub scroll back to that last one and make it bigger again yeah bro that guy's hunting rats who that is right that's like a slightly different looking rat oh you want to know what's really crazy Ian trap that's a hundred pound rat yeah without a tail that's so gross and you know what's really crazy is those animals they'll they're the best animal to a call now what a call is is like you made a make a sound of a wounded animal now you may glad

like something that's stop suffering like people take their hand

these fuckers run in the Run in real yes they're so aggressive it's crazy whining something's hurt and I can go eat it they have to act quick because there's Coyotes out there and mountain lions out there so when something's hurting the here like fuck food and they just run towards it so when your bow hunting you almost have to have one person make the call and you're at full draw and then they start calling and the things come running in and you shoot at them yeah it's quite as you couldn't do it you couldn't get to the boat and get them on time because it's see you in the oh fuck it's a guy who took off the other way again yeah are these like invasive are they all over his own authority no they're natural they're what I mean are they not invasive but I mean is there a lot of them yes there's like a ton of Ram or day they exist yeah I mean they exist in the desert I mean they exist in healthy enough populations that you people hunt for them wow and they eat them they say they take two yeah it was neat that but you eat a pig yeah

but they're cuter wild boar yeah crazy tusks looking yeah those are gross this is pretty gross to my pigs Mike is ugly this the ones I have bowties a clown around this guy's garage little tap shoes look at that shit hat the shit they're standing down bro they're standing down there in his garage there's a whole lot in Bumfuck is that all right on your kid's toy look at his it's all its hairs up and running way look at that just gonna take a dump in your driveway who'd you do not want that in your life I don't want to live there this is all this fucking 20 of them in this guy's driveway see that one there in the back how much roll that back again how many were there there was like 12 what is the name of that video for people want to watch it wild javelinas make a visit to Arizona home while yeah no no I know you can't show those fucking things are everywhere there's a lot of them with the white hii believe how many of them there are at least at least

eight and then there's the one that was on top of the there's nine and then there's one of those on top of the truck and it is one that you can see through the fence yeah and it's probably more out to it's not have a car it's going into the kids little car Jesus Christ oh it's in the passenger seat of the car oh my God go gross fucking creepy like wild javelinas like a Dean Martin song you think so look at all them over there look at all the old heavily fuck man they're weird-looking to they look like they're demons I don't like them at all a little beady eyes like they're up to no good but if you would little kid you thinking like the way you are I wouldn't live there because that's there but if you live in New York you've had night who knows what's climbing all around your building right could be Eagles and chat rightz are we talking about oh hey Google how I get into my house in Google javelina eats baby let's see if that's ever happened

a human baby

let's see if that happened what do you think if a javelina at a human yeah like she those fucking things yeah 20 in that guy's driving definitely eating babies I'm exaggerating wasn't 20 someone's eating a baby right now probably 13 was probably 12 Baker's Dozen a baker's dozen of javelinas yeah they would eat a baby a toddler yeah knock it down yeah I mean if they eat a dog yeah they're scared of people they were obviously weren't scared of that dude now that's a full-blown person the baby doesn't mean the Fire doesn't have anything I know I put it here up little spikes up to let you know it's threatened to ever tell you the story when I pulled a rat out of my pool vacuum yeah was it alive now that stink it had it stunk like why isn't the vacuum working did you think about it dove in and I pulled it up and there was a half a rat it's ass sticking out the vacuum and as soon as I got it above the water flies just

pull it out without it there's a quacking where the fuck are the Flies before the shit good question where the fuck are they all over there not that many like if you if you're around like a person's backyard yeah how often is he flies every now and then there's one it's kind of annoying but if you just pull your pants down shat on the ground it would be flies on that within a matter of moments Oh you mean right after I swam yeah right after yam just shat right under law I mean you're after swim shit yeah yeah and then all of a sudden they show up yeah it's crazy gusting it happened so fast so gross take all the sudden they're all over it yeah where'd you guys come from we should just stay inside did you find a baby death from a javelina a couple of months ago some people in Arizona were attacked and they had like a woman was bit while she was walking her dogs and other guy was bit while he was feeding them and he didn't feed it fast enough and if them that's about as much like a fine Well the lady who got bit

that's the scary one because the guy who fed them is an asshole yeah right this Gary one is it was a lady got bit by a coyote recently in Dallas though you know no yeah I was around the Dallas area I think they think that this is one coyote that's been biting people it's a rogue unusual coyote snapping at people who've really yeah they had bite marks on their legs oh my God that's gross man because they will kill you yeah they would kill you they're just small they're just not sure if it's worth the effort and you're around people and they're worried that you know one-on-one because you fight off a coyote I don't know if you could then I mean I think you probably could have you had to but they'll fuck you up man just keep buying there's a few of them that's where the real problem comes they bite you in the right spot yeah man the rip your tendons apart you won't be able to run away they know what they're doing to you know they know what they're doing they'll did try to take your legs out and they know what they're doing they're not going to try to jump up and bite you in the neck they're gonna try to take your your hamstrings out right now trying to rip your legs apart so you can

run why is he so mean that's how they're alive you're not leaving any food out for them are you well now got to do what they got to do it's called domestication that's how we have dogs you ever take your family camping I have not yeah I haven't either I would I want to take my kids to Yosemite he's like love Yosemite to bring a peace sign arm nothing nothing just went solo we weren't counting we're staying in an end we're staying in what about emergency food no more satellite phone nothing just a phone first aid kit nothing a bag of Funyuns and an iPhone hmm that's all you need and I want to show them your 70 because it's such a great part of my life I love it I've been in lived in the backcountry for like a week at a time I just love the whole thing and I'm telling him about it I'm building it up there like grudgingly going there all vegetarians they just love nature they just love whatever so like you're going to love you're somebody who's who's we drove into the park welcome to Yosemite

ran over a squirrel the heart inside the car Dad you didn't even slow down what's wrong oh you're a monster I'm like I can't it's two lanes there's a guy behind me a kind front I just would steamroll the squirrel they were so they were in the whole weekend anytime I'd be like look at this look at this beautiful view you killed a squirrel you didn't even care that's the weird part dang you didn't even care is that what they're saying yeah we supposed to cry I was just laugh and cry like a bitch yeah exactly that's funny because if you killed a deer you'd be sadder right yeah oh my God damnit can't believe that I can't help you is she was so nice little lies and a little tail but it's girl a peccary yeah if you kill them javelinas like that fucking rat thing the find its mom that javelina would remember that bitch to bite your teeth

use its teeth to tear your tires apart then you'd be stuck on the side of the road trying to change the time you turn around there's a whole pack of them closing in on you would you now I think your family because of all this crap and do not want them in the woods with you what am I a danger in the woods or become a werewolf with the fucking thing I Just Gotta Sing The Patron I trust me I'll be right back not that you're the threat Ron that you'd have to protect them from all the threats well I mean Yosemite doesn't have that many threats other than people Bears they have black bears didn't

yeah most of them lion mountain lions were an issue there's always something out there yeah grizzly bears for you just for you just don't feel like that's because you like going out in the nature you go I do it stuff I do like going to Nature also like being indoors like sleeping in a place where it's awesome to sleep people wiser than me it figured out that that maneuver is called a bed with a roof and a locked door in a refrigerator you fucking cave person who I'm going to rough it I'm gonna sleep on the ground you don't have to you know that sleep in the house yeah but when you go I can take it to work don't you sleep in the woods sometimes most of the time no I'm gonna have oh you don't Ya Back depends on what what guys are go with right like if I go with Steve rinella we always almost always go camping uh-huh except for when we're at our friend Doug durin's place which is he lives in Wisconsin and he's got a giant farm we hunt deer on a hunt a deer on there and that place he's got a cool little little

like a deer hunting house oh yeah it's near the sea yeah like a cabin looks like a house it's like a house how nice it's a small house at everybody like hangs out in different spots are yeah right right I'd like to take my kids camping there's something nice about yeah we've been in the woods and short stature about it yeah you know what else is cool not getting eaten HBO take a shower in the morning that's nice yeah you got a point of coffee that's the big thing yeah look up but there's nothing better than a campfire I know hanging out especially at the end of a long day of hiking yeah it's and I'm s got a campfire and if you get one of the little grates over the campfire start cooking cooking over the campfire one of the best things in life I know yeah and I feel like my kids don't have that connection because do you worry about being with him in the woods yeah a little bit if anybody gets hurt it's hard to get out yeah

that you know it's like if you and I went we're both responsible for we'd help each other out but I'm going to leave you got your act to get what I'm Gonna Leave You I'm sorry what I'm gonna leave say that again yeah I just I can't I cannot imagine you guys are planning a camping trip like hey my mean we're going to look out for each other I'm Gonna Leave You back I'll tell you right now it looks like I'm a little camping with you but I'm not I can't handle any adversity I will fall apart please don't where you gonna sleep and we're not going in too far I will walk one mile when the alarm goes off one mile and Camp dude seriously you're not gonna help me out no I'll call somebody when I get home he's back there like a mile someone from I'll just follow the blood he's got a backpack full of Slim Jims would be all right

he'll be good he's got enough food on well I left him one liter of my piss he can drink that just thought is like where I pee horrible camping a commandment good news and bad news the bad news is I don't have any water the good news is I have to pee so what do you wanna do you wanna die and I wanted me to fill up your knowledge in Bottle awful now but your if you go with your kids and you're like you're responsible for everybody and everything yep that's pretty yeah maybe just a hike well it's not the wrong with Camp when you kids good idea just you know you have to you should if you really are going to go camping you definitely should bring first aid and definitely bring a satellite phone and and you can camp in places that you know you're not back country yeah a mile in you could just you know pull up walk 200 feet or get yourself a fucking Airstream son pull that bitch behind part turn the generator on satellite TV yeah

that would be fun I've won you can rental the forest you can rent those and just gave Tucker Carlson's right yelling out the window too dear making friends yeah I think I would like to like load them up in an RV kind of situation go see the Grand Canyon know like after you topic ation yeah Chevy Chase yeah yeah I think that would be fun to more people just died in the Grand Canyon what fell yeah really yeah why they're not know I was just reading the railings I don't know I don't know what happened I just read two more people just follow their death in the Grand Canyon really let's see if you find out what's going on why are people that was one of the first types I did with my father we do in the switchbacks would you say Jim I don't there's a reason why I said one guy just got too close and slipped and I need to know slipped off the stop falling if I Google Glass I didn't know him already yeah

had that memory link wire thing that Jamie's worried about James gonna be the first one to get it and he's going to like organized to make sure that no one else gets it my thought on that too is like who's gonna be the first one to get it and how you decide that well for sure like money Marcus Brownlee and Lou from unbox therapy they'll get it first and they'll put it on and then they'll start running the world that is still have it girly and ago and no one else gets this don't try but Mark Zuckerberg probably already has it you don't want to know what I'm saying it right now yeah fend his case yeah it's um it's common something's coming yeah man what's it going to be who knows what's going to be yeah something's coming and something's going to be more invasive than what we're experiencing now hmm so I can be sure of they're going to figure out to get more and more data you know Sam Harris has a really interesting podcast it's out it's either the one that's going on right maybe the two weeks ago and it was

about should probably find it it was all about

privacy privacy and what's the difference between the way different tech companies approach privacy and actually makes you respect how Apple does it oh yeah yeah I mean they apparently they do it much more I guess the word would be there more ethical about it was there trying not to give away any the trouble with Facebook is what it's called I was reading a thing yesterday that you know you put those doorbell things on you know like ring you know the chords people coming up to you and they said you know you think it's cool for you and your family but the UPS guy all these delivery people are getting their picture taken and sent to a database every day like these people are being monitored all the time so well it's good for you it's not that great for these other people that visit you this guy's name is Roger McNamee that's the what's the trouble of Facebook it's episode 152 it's really it's very interesting because that what goes into

is about how tech companies figured out how to tap into a resource that no one thought of and that resource is your data and how much is that worth well it turns out it's worth fucking Untold billions right it's one of the most valuable things because it you can direct Market to people you could find out what people are in tune with their not into yeah you get a you get a lot of people you can get ahold of and we kind of gave our consent to this without understanding it yeah and they got in through a loophole and this is how they're able to make you know ungodly amounts of money just because we wanted to have that cool feature so you just say yeah here's take it from me anything about the amount of money something like Facebook brings in versus what it is like what is it what are you doing what you doing this making all that money right there providing people with data yeah you know and they're also getting people to it's like a an ongoing psychological experiment

in what makes people engage and what makes people comment more right turns out it's anger oh really yeah it turns out that what makes people engage the most is things they disagree with when they started having fights having fights back and forth so you get people to get really into these polarizing subject right and then you once they start looking for those subjects then those subjects are showing up in their feet so it's all such things that they get angry about so then they start interacting with these things the more you interact the more more it shows up in your feed and all the while they're profiting on enraging you my God I mean this is essentially what they do She's creepy Facebook patent uses image recognition to scan your personal photos for Brands oh my god wow yeah so just take all your photos and I'll climb Rito bags in the back applying computer vision algorithms to user uploaded multimedia objects to detect specific objects Within

the multimedia object and promoting the uploaded multimedia object from a user's news feed to a sponsored stories area that's what the patent was awarded for each easily division content detection for sponsored stories wow that's crazy man yeah you snap a selfie sipping a unicorn frappe at Starbucks and then shares that selfie on Facebook Omer Instagram Facebook newly patented technology and theoretically scan the photo spot the Starbucks cup with the help of an image object recognition algorithm and then sell that info to Starbucks learning the coffee giant of the fact that you like it's product well they're already doing a version of that with your searches yeah things you're looking at you know when you go through their browser they're already doing that well they're doing it also with voice your phone is listening to you all the time yeah if you have Alexa in your home it's listening hmm

kids and we do it all the time like you talking about something and then all of a sudden you see I was performing in Boise and so we were talking about Boise Boise Boise and then everybody on their Instagram was getting an ad for vacationing in Boise see that seems less your must speaking it yeah that seems like a really serious thing it is it seems like a really serious thing that everybody is just like oh this is happening yeah I don't remember signing off on this the Technologies ahead of our anger or our recognition yeah we don't understand and so it's already happened by the time you're upset that it exists right yeah it's in full force right now yeah yeah it's really weird it's really weird it's really weird and we're just talking about it this is just we think it's you're just in your home you're in a private place yeah but these phones that are just listen you know we just this is and again this is something that didn't exist 10 years ago 15 years ago these concerns didn't exist yeah what will be the

concerns 15 years from now like how much more invasive is is going to get before we even recognize that it's happening yeah because this is this is something the the listening in on things is something that people didn't think about before it happened right now they know it does well the face recognition thing is there's a lot of articles on that and how that you don't realize what they're trying to think totally makes sense right especially if so many people's phones use face recognition software right with the Samsung phones have it my Galaxy Note 9 has it yeah iPhones have it yeah and you're psyched about it you're just like oh that's cool I don't have to put in my password anymore hmm it just look at it yeah I'm in my app they also have one that's an iris scanner on the Note the note scans your irises oh really yeah

bro it's quick to looks your eyeballs like yep you owe you shit the fuck do you know man what does that say Jamie I was trying to find this the first time you brought up but I know that there's these masks that exist that are in quotes like hyper-realistic masks and I can be used to I don't know if it's this is an issues to help the face recognition but I think people are using them to trick it and do fake stuff and like not all that you could commit a robbery without on and whoa right just like having a ski mask on now they just can't see her face but it'll think that right if you had a hoodie on yeah what about in Minority Report remember when they had to pull his eye they were selling eyeballs on the black market for the ice can to get into Bill all you would have to do with that is put like a bandana around your mouth right yeah so it could no one could see your mouth moving have that thing on glasses yeah but my even my iPhone gets through my sunglasses I don't know how does that I know so what's facial recognition so yeah but what I'm saying is with this like if you

to Rob someone and have something like even with the facial recognition software would would think that it would legitimately think you were somebody else hopefully now and what about Philly for when we're doing our crab someone yeah try to Rob someone we're trying to Rob's our hopefully not UTIs criminals it's crazy it's kind of happened but it's so fast I mean no you know this is so new also the like the special effects technology that allows people to make faces look how look how beautiful those things look yeah looks so close to a person where these for 200 bucks you can buy one should do it I'm gonna get you I should buy you and then see if I can open up your phone yeah oh that would be crazy that would be cool that'd be crazy see if it can open up your phone looks super creepy but oh that's so weird Italy looks like a demon if they can add a little light texture could be movable be kind of wow that looks pretty real though I mean you know a little

b-but that looks pretty accurate that's crazy act I wouldn't look twice on the walking down the street would even think about it now it'd be like that guy has a good shave it's a beautiful person is skin so smooth yeah a baby's bottom Paul is what it was started off that's my face.com and it's now been switched to whatever this is your me surveillance is that's just creepy she's there do you guys know is there a problem with doing like any of those 23andMe ancestry that you're gonna have your DNA bro the government they're going to the Illuminati is going to check your fucking spit do they is it bad to do I don't know I do not do it what are they going to do with it how's it going to clone me cares bro if they want your DNA they can get it just by touching your clothes getting ahold of your stuff yeah they can get a hold of you they could they could find out all sorts of stuff from hair samples right behind hair you know if you drink a Starbucks and then they grab your cup they can get a DNA strand off your cop then someone

get your DNA sample right so it doesn't really matter so if I want to find out if I'm Greek or Italian find out I should find out yeah it's pretty comprehensive have you done it yeah I've done it oh yeah it's interesting it gives you a lot of other weird stuff too like that you might have certain genes that for certain proclivities even including like lactose intolerance propensity to alcohol real alcoholism yeah some super athletes have certain muscle jeans you should find out if you have those genes like power athletes like almost an extraordinary number of ones that are successful in certain Sports oh really yeah a type of Gene yeah or it really gives you all this you have to specify because that yeah yeah lots of really detailed report oh wow yeah it's really detailed and covers all sorts of different categories yeah it's cool too and you find out like weird stuff you know what part of Europe your parents were from you know maybe you have some Asian in you didn't know you had yeah it's really cool

yeah it's cool it's cool it's it's just it makes you really think to get here

in 2019 mmm what had to happen with all the people in the past and if you keep going back you know I have a little bit of Asian in me oh yeah it was like one percent or something like that but I'm thinking like where that come from like ooh where was that is that why you like Jiu-Jitsu I don't think so I think a lot of people just like Jiu-Jitsu bro is that why you like sushi I don't think it's that Asia like I'm from a different Asia but I don't know I think I think you know if you could really buddy though went through Asia hooked up with somebody yeah for sure but what I'm saying is I think that if you look at what technology was available like 200 years ago for finding ancestry right people didn't even know if that was their kid 50 years ago right exactly two years ago you gotta guess you know yeah maybe they had paternity test 50 years ago did they

just trying to find your roots like back in Italy you just have to go find like town hall and said there's a book with your great-grandfather's name in it yeah but I mean you didn't even know if your dad was really your dad if your mom was a ho well I knew that I knew that around sixth grade I figured that out but if you if you wanted to know a hundred years ago if you were the father of Someone's Child you had to look at the kid and go the kid looks like me yeah or convince yourself that the kid looks like you're right or convince yourself the kid just got your wife's features but it still your kid right yeah now you can actually get DNA test done to be like oh you know what the cold as hard as shit is when you find out that it's not your kid but you still have to pay child support because you've been paying child support and you still have to if the DNA confirms that he's not it's in different states there's different rules but I believe that's how it is in California and I believe that's how it is in several other states where if turns out the young lady had strayed no Cuts side dick is hey hey

whoa gotta go now I'm gonna keep paying yeah oof yeah that's not give keep paying even if you do a DNA test and you find out the child's not yours I think once you have started paying less you you might have to go to court and and Duke it out but I don't think your payment obligation stops just because it's not your kid oh man what a weird shift to like hmm you think it's this kid and you're supporting them to be switching your head like no I'm not going to help him anymore didn't have testing really until the 80s whoa yeah so the 80s oh the whole new world oh new world we know did try was one of the first ones that people didn't really even believe I remember that's kind of how you're right right that's right and they started just see us saying that they didn't know how to handle the samples and they well wasn't there was some funkiness with that to Stepping all over it yeah still didn't believe the one-in-a-trillion kind of numbers they were passing out well right

I think overzealous aggressive like police and detective I think that's common I think that's a charm it is did you see that fucking video the Tesla sent to knit mode did you see that shit no you know Tesla is a Sentry mode and it caught some politician back in his Escalade into a model 3 scuffing it up getting out looking at it trying to rub it out and then taking off and they called him up because he could see his face in the video and they knew who it was because this guy had been like a kind of prominent politician huh and so here it is there's those little little Nick but they said is like $2,000 to fix my Jesus that's a lot of money for a little Nick yeah seems a little ridiculous little scuff

so the dude just backs into it and tries to judge it

yeah it's funny yah Bonk right into the Tesla says the side look at it it's always recording yeah he just backed his stupid car guy just doesn't know how to drive you might have been drunk yeah

yeah look at him look a town looks at it all right yep to well he tried to figure out that he's in deep shit he tried to fix it the fuck he did he denied it when they call them oh they did yeah and apparently that guy had already been to jail for something else yeah here dirty yeah he it's not good he might be that's our man I I bumped into someone's car once and I left a note with my phone number and my address nice and are not my address my phone number and my name and they called me up and they just so happen to be very good friends with someone who else friends with huh so they're nice and then he calls me up and he tells me dude you hit my friend's car and he tells everything that's that I go tell him to call me man that's cool yeah it was Noble well it wasn't bad but it was something yeah it was like it was a little scuff on the bumper right but it was my it was I was like oh thank God

after message yeah it's like such a piece of shit yeah like that's my friend and he was like some fucking asshole hit my friend's car and took off you believe that shit like no crazy well that's that's bullshit and now cameras have everybody doing everything so you'll always get busted yeah what do you think it's going to be where you have a Tesla you know what those things do when you think is going to be where no one's driving how many how many more years we're well we're a lot of people aren't driving 20 yeah I would say 20 to 30 you never went Priuses we're a joke yeah someone had a Priestly get that fucking test stupid thing away from me yeah or even the early Tesla the Roadster like do you know that Top Gear you want to know that British Show Top Gear yeah it's crazy I found out they did an episode where they pretended that the Tesla Roadster died on them while they were driving around the track but it didn't really die in though that was just a story line

they wanted to die so it's gross apparently the way the show is made it's like a comedy show and it's scripted so they can get away with doing something like that so Elon Musk sued them and I think he lost believe it or not because I think they don't claim to be exactly don't claim to be factual and they complained that they they don't they don't claim to not have narratives that they create cool so gross that up just to make sure that I'm not gross pretty gross it's amazing how many shots that they take Elon Musk called Top Gear completely phony and his company sued for libel and malicious falsehoods of Judge dismissed the suit in October saying no viewer the program could have reasonably be compared the roadsters performance on the track to a real-world performance on the street it seems fuzzy I don't know what that means yeah okay what is 2012 that what is the case that what he said what Elon Musk said that it was that they faked it

and they claim the power Tesla for okay let's see what it says we could figure out I think I'm pretty sure that's the story after Tessa dropped the car off Elon Musk claimed that one of his employees was along for the delivery notice that a script for the episode inside there's a segment about the Tesla breaking down but that was only the tip of the iceberg top gear claim that the Tesla Roadster ran out of power while driving after just 55 miles much less than the 200 miles quoted by Tesla albeit it was being driven hard a claim that musk said was untrue according to him the roadsters logs show that the car had never dipped below 20% charge during the entirety of the filming the clip followed with the roadsters motor overheating which wasn't addressed by mosque and finally a brake failure which must claims was instead a blown fuse and not an equipment failure battery powered electric cars will soon die all together former Top Gear host James Mason is it amazing so there was something sounds like

was some horseshit for sure but it does how it was real brake problem and the brake problem was a blown fuse which there's nothing you can do about that but it's just that it's such a strange thing that the yeah you just have to attack electric cars like it's just that well I think the web them making a script if they had a script and said the test was going to break down they thought it would be funny so comedy bit it's a comedy show Jeremy Clarkson was fucking hilarious right he's really funny yeah but there is definitely well the able letter yeah you believe a lot of the stuff that they say and the performance of the car you know you I always thought it was funny but also the saw them is experts well they kind of are yeah I mean they know a lot of shit yeah they know a lot of shit about cars for sure Jeremy Clarkson knows a lot about cars the problem is people go to them for advice and lap times and all that shit and if you're saying a car is breaking down you engineered that and yes script it's pretty dirty that is dirty well it's how like Sean Hannity gets

with saying that he's not a news program does he get away with that so he's like WWF news yeah he says it's a it's a It's Entertainment really yeah oh do this alone that's why you have a little little out we're not a news program we don't claim to be he says that yeah well the a lot of people are coming to you thinking that's news but isn't he a commentary program isn't that what they say it's not that he's new he says It's Entertainment oh yeah do you find entertaining no you should sue I should sue so I could do this is entertaining he's a liar it's not that entertaining I didn't find entertaining Sue I'm gonna sue them and The Game of Thrones people I hate dragons those aren't real dragons dragons are dope as fuck did you watch last night I didn't I did was a good spoiler alert it was awesome oh he's awesome just to see everything I just want to see it is was happy to see a new episode I'm gonna be so sad when that she'll get

as well I'm such a dork you've watched it all the way up about doing the prequel or the beginning of it that we were serious but they haven't amen whoever the fuck of people are they're doing it keep doing things whoever those people that are writing and producing it and putting it together and keep hiring those actors to play different people I don't care I lost my way after like maybe three seasons how many seasons is it been on five fuck up you lost your way go back and start from scratch you learn all the names of these places in the make believe that yeah - onge and whatever the whatever is how much do I have to know Joe I know but you know how to make bread just keep making a delicious bread I do and you're doing keep it simple yeah a martini a little bread a little run in the part life yeah will jog how much do I have what the fuck do I have to control every much I would like enough I'll catch back up with it yeah it's good right people like it so you gonna like let this whole season play by without you being

caught up I've almost last night was just going to watch just jump it jump in who cares if I was there any show that you never get like please tell me you gave up on The Walking Dead yes thank you yeah I stopped that one is there any show that you haven't given up on that you've been steadfast that I stick what are you binge these still watch you haven't quit no there's nothing that I'm currently watching I just watch Russian doll what does that it's on Netflix that was good that girls like an assassin or something now she's happy she's she dies every episode it's like Groundhog Day yeah it was pretty good and I've seen all the big ones I don't know zark Ozark yeah one season of it

didn't watch his do now was I supposed to

I don't know how you just shut it off you don't want to know what happened I don't know if I forget Tom it's already forget clock it's already 3 o'clock 3 o'clock in the afternoon and the time flying this conversation did we start when did we start 12:30 12:30 yeah something like that three o'clock tell the fine people where you're at my brother I am going to Boston where are you going in jokes Tom I'm going to Northampton we doing in Boston City Winery boom what was that it's this elegant Winery place right and have stand up they stand up there wow mostly bands no shit yeah okay doing a bunch of those guys is actually a winery a real Winery yeah they make their own wine whoa in Boston that's cool yeah it's really cool my friends been running played at a winery once I was like this is cool

whatever yeah it's pretty cool I'm going to do Napa I'm going to do something up in Napa another one spot yeah that's what they were oh yeah they're up an app I yam what I have done yeah yeah that's a good spot that whole area is amazing right the food there's it's a mooring it's no joke food incredible I know that place they got any great own child in the wines amazing this the nature is amazing Bryan Callen were up there with those hunting guys who were fleeing a turkey hunting episode and Bryan Callen and I after we went turkey hunting these guys went back to this Airbnb they rented thing when I like guys they had like hamburger and shit like this I would Guys these are the best restaurants in the world the world they're right here like come on let's go out I'll pay they have nowhere to stay home make cheeseburgers okay Cal and I went out like gentlemen we got a fine bottle of wine turkey hunting and clinking fine glasses came on and eating you know yeah delish

amazing and incredible food we had a wonderful time yeah there's certain times certain people have you know they figured it out over time they've got it dialed in just do what they do yeah but it's good to appreciate it it's good to appreciate a hundred bands it's good if you ate there every day I think it would be no it's a treat yeah it's something yeah means something and then you'll remember that dinner you know it's not like just we were just mocking those guys the entire time drinking wine getting let talking shit having fun that's one of the best coolest things about having a friend like Alan who's yeah always funny yeah everywhere you go you were a like come on buddy you're my one man comedy show and then next thing you know he's only just making some shit up and get stiff and then he's hilarious he is really makes me laugh um so website Tom Papa.com Tom Papa.com Tom Papa on the Instagram top on the

are all of those things my books going to a paperback she next month Louise's yeah it's very cool it's all good always great to be here always great to have you brother give me some milk on the way home yeah I got a freezer bag for you I brought my own typewriter the old did you use a bag oh beautiful all right bye everybody

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simple and the food comes out delicious particularly on the super smoke mode whoo you can check out the new grilles or find a local dealer at Trager grills.com / Jo all right friends thank you for tuning in I appreciate you muchly much love to everyone bye