#1371 - Andrew Santino

Oct 29, 2019

Andrew Santino is a stand up comedian and actor. Check out his podcast “Whiskey Ginger” available on Apple Podcasts & YouTube.

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this episode the podcast is brought to you by whoop whoop is the sponsor of sober October we're in the homestretch kids right now it is the 28th as a time I'm recording this there's three fucking days left after today ha ha ha I'm learning a lot though we're in this whoop and I'm going to keep wearing it because first of all I'm learning a lot about how little I sleep I thought I slept more I'm trying to do better it's making me more accountable because of my sleep but what whoop

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is it combines a wearable device with state-of-the-art software that helps you improve sleep recovery and training and helps you make better lifestyle choices with real-time feedback on your body I love it because it tells you it works by what's called heart rate variability it monitors your heart rate tells you whether or not your heart rate is too high when you wake up in the morning whether it's in the groove like you're recovered and ready to rock it lets you know exactly where you are so you don't have to guess

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anymore it has this strain coach that tells you how much you're straining tells you how many calories you're burning and we've shared the entire experience while we're doing this whole whoop thing through sober October so you could check out births information Bert Kreischer Tom Segura Ari shaffir all of us we have a public Loop team we can see all the data from the last month except for today where I fucked up and I didn't charge my whoop device enough and when I got to yoga class it was

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out of juice but it's like I said it's probably the best thing I've ever used in terms of just giving you real time feedback on everything you know whoop works with the best from NFL the Navy Seals but the insights applied to everybody it's you see how your body responds to stress is good and bad and you can adjust to live better sober October might be over thank God but it's never too late for you to get your shit together

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got our team at whoop whoop.com you can get a whoop strap 3.0 for free when you join so you go to whoop.com and use the code sober October to get 15% off your order and like I said I'm going to keep wearing this fucking thing it's it's really excellent It's teaching me a lot we're also brought to you by the motherfucking cash app interesting they used to say in the copy the motherfucking cash app but now it says

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as the M blank F blank cash app I wonder if there's some corporate bullshit where somebody complained the cash apps is simplest way for you to send and save money but now it's the simplest way for you to try to grow your money introducing cash app investing unlike investing tools that only let you buy entire shares of a stock the cash app lets you instantly invest as little or as much as you want this way when your favorite company stock is just a little too

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$10 and the cash app will send ten dollars to our good friend Justin wrens fight for the Forgotten charity so download the cash app from the app store or the Google Play store today we're also brought to you by quip quip is the best toothbrush they figured out how to make a better toothbrush well what makes a better toothbrush industrial-strength Power claims of miraculous trendy ingredients multiple modes well if you ask your dentist

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any if you're not you probably know someone who is so do them a solid and tell them about honey honey can help make sure that you're getting the best price for whatever you're buying it's free to use and installs in just two clicks get honey for free at join honey.com Rogan that's join honey.com / Rogan my guest today is one of my best friend's he's one of the best comics in the world he towards me on a regular basis and he's about to

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start his own theater tour his name is Andrew Santino

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The Joe Rogan Experience trained by day Joe Rogan podcast by night all day hi Andrew Santino what's up mr. Rogan this is for sober October still sober you can have real drinks no I'm gonna have someone and I can have real drinks I'm gonna have this some of this cheers I'll have some of that 0 0 it's good right oh yeah it's pretty good

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I know you want to get fucked up you can't how about that I'm not gonna man how about that I'm not gonna I need to I need time to my stomach to clear up could do sober October no you know I can't do that shit you can't do it no a month how about a week I could do it I could do so per week so you can do the first week of sober October yeah who's the real be like the first week this year next week next year you do two weeks if I'll do I could do so I could do a sober I could do a sober month October sucks for me it's my birthday and October it's not on

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take it off you know also I like drinking too much you liked it a lot I can't stop I can't stop weed and yeah anything else because there's no I can't you want a drink nah I got booze right over there now my tummy so sensitive still your all mass was tell everybody would happen so no offense to hilarities which is a great comedy club we stopped there Saturday night after our show in Cleveland we went over to say hi to our friend Jessie Mae peluso who was

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lying there and what was he the dude's name Andrew Andrew don't remember funny guy Yahweh so we say hi to them and they graciously the owners the club graciously asked if we were hungry we said sure we could eat they have a nice menu why not so I had the prime rib it was excellent and you had a steak with some vegetables that's right I had a bunch of vegetables on the side probably around midnight and then we get on a plane at like 6:00 in the morning we are

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flying back home and I pass out and then the lady wakes me up it's like a movie lady wakes me up and I look over you like dude I'm not good I'm not good I'm not doing so much matter what happened like we we had walked through the airport cracking jokes like we always do having a great old time everything seemed normal he didn't seem sick at all he fell asleep tell everybody what happened I fall asleep I woke up like in Fight Club when you're like when you when he wakes up he's a good

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on the plane like my breath caught myself and I sprinted to the bathroom and I was like soap out of it and I think the Head Rush had got me all fucked up and I sat down and I blacked out and passed out for a second and I woke up and I'm throwing up I mean I am hurling woke up throwing throwing up just roll over like I wake up I'm spitting and I kind of like holding onto the sides I can't believe what's like I can't I'm so disoriented and I walk out and I grabbed the flight attendant and I was like is there a doctor on the plane like I'm something's fucking wrong

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don't feel good and right then my stomach was like burbling again and she's like oh my God you're like pale as a fucking ghost and I was like always I'm like I'm like this bitch this is what I look like ginger she goes go sit down I'll get somebody this nurse was on there this guy Garrett super nice and he asked he was and he was right in front of us like a row up and he asked us which these with Joe and he sat with me and I was hurling do I do for the first time my life I puked in those bags you know when you're like nobody poops in those fucking bags I did a watch type boot in that fucking bag like three times and he saw

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it futons of undigested I was pretty sure it was food poisoning because I've had food poisoning before and then sometimes it comes on pretty quick you knocked it on the nose well that's what he thought it was too he goes he was asking me is like what did you have last night I said I had two drinks at the show and I had a couple of beers after with just imagine her friend and he was like did you take any street drugs yeah that's what he said he said he's drugged trucks you take any back alley drugs I said no man I swear to God he thought about my Niche and he ditched drunk and he ditched Drugs Forest drugs sewer shit so I

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on the truth I said dude I don't take any drugs last night and he was like okay and when he told me he looked in there and he goes oh you have undigested food which means your body's rejecting it without processing it so it must be you got a bug of some kind because dude I was I'd when I talk to when I grabbed you and I go bro something's wrong like this is not eat very nerve-wracking because I was out of it yeah I'm totally asleep out and I was so confused I was like how but you were okay yeah I'm like did he have a stroke dude it was creepy I've I felt for a second in the bathroom like something medically was really really wrong if

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if my instinct was oh I must be like sick or something's wrong but then when I kept like having this urge to yargh I was like something's really going on like I was assuming that it was the vegetables because a lot of times people get it from poorly handled salad yeah people get it was bad if they don't wash the leaves and everything real good people can get food poisoning from salads Apparently one of the most common ways people get food poisoning which from salad and shall yeah well dude it was just I you know and the guy was so nice he sat with me the whole time but he could tell

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he's like a you doing okay and every couple of minutes I'd feel like I had to throw other quite when water can't stay down I think that's the key when you're like chugging water chugging motor he's like don't talk too fast like why he's like because and then I'm just like because of that bro fucking puking up water we're but the old red feels fine I feel fine now I would just have fuck me up bad tear and it's five hours from Cleveland so wasn't it wasn't a quick jump light for its food poisoning sketchy sucks sucks it was all had an four or five times in my life

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if it's never never good that's the second time the first time I had it was in college it was the worst thing ever it was way worse this was both ends this is when your mouth and back to one remember when your past like a cartoon I had in college from movie theater popcorn wow that's that's real shit movie theaters real shit dude here's how we knew we me and this other dude we had totally different meals all day in this other friend of ours too and long story short whatever we both woke up sick the same time like in the middle of the night

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and we had asked when I went to the doctor finally the next day because I was sick all day and the doctor was like would you eat I detailed and he goes oh yeah sometimes the butter can be spoiled her rotten oh actual butter yeah oh maybe that's why they use that fake ass butter hell yeah which is that fake-ass bar made out of a fucking know what the fuck is movie popcorn theater butter made out of it's not real butter because most places don't have real but Jamie's laughing at my sickness has no movie popcorn what do you think it is it's like gotta be some weird vegetable oil

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well yes it was weird it was weird yeah wonderful everywhere yeah butter flavor really yes not butter what does that margin bullshit well they say bad that stuff is for you all right people used to think margins the way to go like if you Butters Parable for you have some margarine margarine is non-dairy it's me those fucking horrible for you but but all process oils you know they're finding out from those fake meat burgers that we've handled over rats they're giving them liver cancer pull up what what the study was yeah yeah

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one of those is beyond meat or impossible meat or not really meet whatever the fuck it is yeah not me but looks like meat we're trying to make it look like me it's processed oils with grill marks on it why don't they do that shit shit it's mostly oils yeah it's like oils from vegetables it's very strange lot of soy and shit like that that's a like those processed vegetable oils are terrible for you yeah you know what's good for you olive oil that's a good vegetable oil avocado oil is good for you but like all

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that other shit like canola on all that stuff well he can but there's my question is it because it's not naturally occurring feeding studies suggest the impossible Burger may not be safe to eat scroll down this is GMO science it says hold on a second make it a little larger rats fed Gym Rats what are you doing what's going on with you try to make it bigger and it's just going up rats something stop stop moving go back Jesus Jamie its top go back go back that's all

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no no it's not thank you thank you rats fed the genetic know the fucking text there buddy rats fed the genetically modified yeast derived proteins soy whoa say that word lagging myoglobin know that Higa Higa me glow but hikmah globin that sounds like an Irishman anyway I got my Global Danny Danny mehe globe and he's a good boy the burgers key ingredient developed unexplained changes in weight gain and significant signs of

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of toxicity and signs of toxicity why did I put the word significant in there wasn't in there that's felt right it did I'm a I'm an editor okay unexplained changes in weight gain and signs of toxicity and it said the impossible Burgers a plant-based Burger the key ingredient which is a protein called soy the heck my Global heck of a global slh derived from genetically modified yeast a rat feeding study commissioned by the manufacturer impossible Foods found that rats fed

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SL each developed unexplained changes in weight gain as well as changes in the blood that can indicate that the onset of inflammation or kidney disease as well as possible signs of anemia holy shit yeah and possible Foods dismissed these statistically significant effects as non adverse or having no toxicological relevance that's so funny you can just dismiss things they just needed a real study in like not real well they're dismissing it because it's not convenient

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right real simple I mean do you do rat studies doesn't necessarily mean it transfers to people but that stuff is okay what's the ingredients let's find out what the fuck and that's what I want to know it now because it's not the only thing that I've read I've read things by actual nutritionist they're saying look you want to be on a plant-based diet you should eat real foods you can eat healthy on a plant-based diet you can eat real vegetables and avocado and you know there's plenty of good stuff

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eat coconut oils all this stuff is healthy for you but when you start making shit look like meat that's when shit gets squirrelly because you're finding all kinds of your they're adding all sorts of processed food why did you take that off screen and wont be distracting while you're talking oh no it's okay so what the fuck is in their top five ingredients calories 4-ounce serving which is pretty skimpy clocks in at 240 calories that's in the range of a beef burger depending on fat content

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all the impossible contains no cholesterol to compare a regular beef patty contains about 80 milligrams scroll up Scroll up Scroll up Scroll up Scroll up fat 14 grams includes eight grams of saturated fat which generally considered less healthy than unsaturated fat that's not true it's entirely dependent upon the source and it's entirely dependent upon like how you're eating like what you're eating yeah likes the idea that saturated fat is bad for you this is all been debunked this is

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to a beef burger mostly due to the coconut oil which is healthy for you fuckers this year the impossible replaced a portion of the coconut oil which is the highest in saturated fat goddamn it what's unfollow or which is way shittier for you which is an unsaturated fat goddamn this you know talking to nutritionist on this podcast has been so enlightening but so confusing when you see the way that people still want to eat low-fat you know and they like they don't understand like fats are important you're the fucking needs

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they're good for your brain the good for everything Omega-3s omega-6s is that was the revolution of like I remember as a kid everything became in like the late 80s and 90s everything was lower fat but it was higher sugar content right so just like less fat less fat but they were just increasing the sugars like 1% milk that's the biggest joke when they're like put sugar in less fat yeah but they substituted it with tons of fucking sugar because it tastes terrible yet it's like shit without the fat all those monsters have put low-fat milk in their coffee who the fuck

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Maria of shit to are you did stripper got tricked they got tricked by this idea that you're supposed to have low fat find out roots pull up something what is The Impossible Burger healthy is it healthy well here's because here's the thing they were pushed that article obviously was siding with the impossible because they cited three or four items and it was like soy protein coconut and something else they don't really tell you how to processes that they make those that's the thing they won't say well here's how we derive these things and fucking process I was going to say as

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before I even look this up I don't think that they're even marketing as being healthier it's just an alternative yeah for me for people that really still want to eat it yeah exactly right but is it healthy for you I don't think that there's nothing there even bothering yeah it's probably less healthy for you than a fucking McDonald's cheeseburger which is barely meet anyway not me I mean right they did all the studies about Taco Bell meat and they were like fucking barely meet Taco Bell meat has they have an acceptable amount of filler that they're allowed to have and just nonsense it's some nutty number like pull out what's the

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acceptable number of Taco Bell filter had a friend that worked at other fast food restaurant not going to name and their name and a marinated meat was like gee I believe it was G grade which is lower than dog food or something like that like shit still taste it okay I mean if you're hungry I'll shove it down your fucking mall I can eat it look did you see what happened at this World Series game that the other day did you see the news no they introduce Trump and the first lady and they got booed do you know this yeah sigh it's gone

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he fucking two different versions of story I saw ya when and was saying that they were yelling out lock her up but then I didn't hear that I just other clipping was saying they were saying lock him up yes I'd lock him up I think it was lock him up as what they were chanting men had where they were saying people are chanting lock her up I said the other thing too is he was generally the president throws out the first pitch yeah and he didn't do that because he's already thrown one out somewhere and it's been it's very good yeah mouth let it fuck you want to talk about those we got some clips in the

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of people that can't throw baseballs on the first pitch at a Patel my favorite fucking clip is Gary Dell'Abate him 50 Cent there's a few people that are fucking no I can't right now I'm good well your stomach yeah how am I don't want to fucking I don't want to fucking lose ya bad bro it's fine but I don't want to fund up I don't want to dance on the edge these are did you see what I tweeted I tweeted this morning Burr and CNN's I typed in lock her up it's just as Pop putting backlog

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him up hold on Burr and Burr and and Kreischer have a podcast now called Bill and bird podcast and I made fun of them you should pull up the image for it because they fucking they have a cigar and a glass of whiskey in there icon but I go what is up with this cigar dick you guys got as your fucking image look at this thing look at that what's up with that cigar cock

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that is not I go you gotta get someone to reanimate that bro that is a weird looking cigar that looks like a dick it looks like a fucking dick to why is it all rounded off at the tip it's not set the bill Bert podcast all those people whoever you're hiring and all things comedy pay them some real money they're mad at you they're mad at you you guys are things look like dicks it's fucking wave so what did it say did it say lock her out lock him up or lock her up as lock him up right lock him up with - yeah they booed the president has that

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happen at a fucking baseball game know people are people are very riled up man they lay yeah well he was the other thing that I saw they had a connected thing article you know that I was reading with that the said 51% of America is pro-impeachment but I was like where does that fucking pull come from yeah who's did they ask you know didn't ask me so what the who the fuck says poles here's the problem with poles the only people that answer polls are assholes right right if they call you up and go hey Cheeto what do you what do you think about this you know this is what I think

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call me yeah don't leave me the fuck alone fuck you who even can you see who conducted that pole that that nonsense they impeachment Park guards read you called because that's very relevant opinions about this impeachment if we go back to Nixon's really take pay attention to mix Administration it's arguable that Trump has been more egregious with his breaking of the Constitution so exhausted I wish there was no issues this is what I wish I wish there was no one trying to steal there was no one trying to cheat on their taxes

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kill everybody was just doing their best and helping each other out yeah it's a nice small healthy vibrant communicative community of people supporting each other Fox News poll 51 percent of Voters favor impeachment and removing President Trump from office that's not good that's a fox poll when fox says that yeah that's fuck that's kind of fucked in July was 42 percent but I'm saying we're from where the I'd like need to know where those come from look at that impeach but not removed in July was 5%

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aunt and now it's 4% now most people favor him being removed again again I don't know who says that sometimes there's good stuff at sporting events so the other funny thing that happened was the those girls show their tits did you see that that was hilarious these two girls are behind home plate and there will flashing their teeth they both got banned from Major League Baseball for life and she she tweeted and she was like worth it is worth it it's awesome to her she's instafamous yeah

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to of to her and this other girl friend of hers I think somebody told me they're starting a smart magazine or something that was their promo for them get a nice bra sponsorship breast cancer awareness yeah somebody said they started a magazine or something though yeah okay that they got a company on the rise good for them yeah they show their tits behind home plate how many girls make a living just showing their body to like patreon Instagram is all is all dancing dancing on the line of like legal picture prostitution well

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the best case of it is Twitter because Twitter they allow you you can be take it in the ass yeah on Twitter there's a lot of gals yeah that I have to be real careful if I hand my kids one of my phones they don't open up that fucking Twitter app because in the feed daddy somebody messaged you dirty dirty girl yeah this filthy take it right in the case I love the Twitter doesn't give a fuck that's my favorite part about Twitter they couldn't care less I like go for it well here's what I love about them Kyle Dunnigan when he did that that animated thing with Michael Jackson yeah actually that's not allowed amazing

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Instagram pulled it down again the funniest fucking guy on Instagram yeah they pulled it off of Instagram but Twitter did not yeah shout out to 12 hardcore Twitter cool for that shit what was that would you show me the like the patreon website it's called only fans that they some of those people use not everyone but this is like showing some of the numbers that they've already been paying out million registered users 70,000 content creators paid out to creators a hundred and fifty million dollar

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hours paid out to refers 3 million referrers so you Cheeto I think if you enter refer I think if I refer I get I got to pee I gotta kick you get a kick hell yeah three million dollars percent five percent commission all referrals pay-per-view messaging and tips live streaming feature that's interesting see who could have a problem with that if you if you have a if you don't have a problem people being naked I don't you don't know if you don't have a problem people taking naked pictures I don't you don't you who'd ever

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I want that now seems like the best alternative to prostitution for a lot of these guys I think I think in the world of sex work I think that's the one that makes the most sense because this is a this is a legit protected legal way for them to go hey do you want to see me get naked in my house give me some fucking money and I'll do it yeah and no one should really have a problem with it right there's nothing I mean what could be I don't like what could be the debatable problem with it is like it smut people that people that think it's eroding yeah fabric of our society the Westboro Baptist Church man yeah

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yeah I think Kanye West would have an issue with he doesn't like porn anymore well he doesn't like cuss words now two guys down with that no cuss words now on the album's well he's starting a new cult he is clear he's on his way it's probably going to be huge you think it's gonna be like a Scientology size thing at some point where it's going to be like people go to one place easy I mean it seems like he's doing it for free though you know I mean he's got a shit ton of money and so does his gal yeah but so I mean he likes business opportunities he does but I mean I think it probably opens up the

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doors for his other businesses like his Yeezys and his clothes and all that shit that much wasn't free the show is free right yeah it's I'm saying opens up the opportunities for that stuff so so he does the show and then people like you know what do I do to be in the cult myself a pair of XI Yi zi she's got shot but he's will let you in that's all it is you buy your way in you'd get in you love that shit if you're I could get a few people and I think

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use them for doll that shit so much you love it it's kind of easy to start a cult these days really kind of is well there's so many of them now like this this so many semi Cults you know there's like there's people that have followings right you know that they you know they somebody could argue this is a cult though you people could argue that you've cultivated a cult You could argue that however there's absolutely no membership rituals you do whatever the fuck you want no

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calling in a cult now I'm saying these some people call it a cult like they say they'll say like hey this is Santino Nation where people do stuff like that right this is a nation right they'll use their name and they'll say nation which is woo Army this is the Santino Army Your Parts into you know Army yeah - together we're in very subtle do whatever he says very very suspect thinking like that kind of shit well just get it just gives weight people obey people's word a little bit too much without knowing

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shit so they just are like it's something to hold on to so maybe if their lifes are shitty and dull and boring they hear something in there like I agree with a good amount of that and then they fucking latch onto it that's where it gets scary because then people can convince you to do anything we were talking about those guys the proud boy shit we were talking about that this weekend it's like this with you start a group The thing about groups is your now if you're saved you the leader like let's say you start the red boys yeah you're James Boyce you're the leader you're the founder and the leader of the redbones yeah

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will you just let any ginger in the group there's a lot of wacky gingers out there I'd say the majority of the people and yeah when people join groups and you start this group and there are saying I'm acting as one of the red boys well you're Now sort of in some way connected to whatever the fuck they do yeah so if they decide to get radicalized and do a bunch of really fucked up things you know it go after people don't have red hair or whatever the fuck they decide to do you are now at least somehow connected to them yeah because I started the show

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Des I mean that's yeah that's creepy though it is your fucking there's groups of there's too many too many but with I think like the influence online is What's creepy to me is people can you know people like member meetups meetups have got somewhat gone away but like at one point people are doing these meetups we're like kids were famous on Instagram they just love the idea of being like come meet me at this park at 12 and fucking thousands of people would go we see what Kevin how are you still just have people run with them no like meet me we're going to do it we're gonna run a 5k shut up what do you do that

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but yeah that's hundreds and hundreds of tons of strangers oh yeah so stupid you never seen it why would he do if you got a video of it Kevin Hart you do it at shows like save the would show up in Milwaukee or whatever and he had a concert who's doing there he would set up like a 5K and they would all run no fuck that well he's trying to he's a positive guy and he's trying to promote positive things like health and fitness and just getting whacked you could do that without inviting people to run with you

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I don't want anybody fucking run with me you don't run anyway yes I do do you have every two or three days really yeah what do you run in the neighborhood no shit I run a minimum of minimum of four but an average of like maybe five or six I don't go I Don't Go Near 8 you're a silent Runner you don't tell anybody fuck no I do everything silently Kevin Hart run it by a lake that's a beautiful Lake where is she - that's cool DC look at all those people yeah everybody seems so happy yeah they'd zero healthy running that girl the bottom right

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I don't think she's running now I want to know how many people were there that didn't run that were just like we showed up my bail yeah but look at that that's a positive thing right there Nike gave him a fat check for this you think so this is all Nike fuck yeah there's a Nike Loaf and I keep this is nike.com yes this is all Nike dude oh this is some executive at Nike I'm not so excited uh-huh have we got ya forget about the fact look he's a businessman it's smart it's a smart move on top of it what I want to know I want to show you something

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I saw this on the toilet this morning maybe thing look at how crazy this is this guy you could look this up this guy they pulled a cop pulled them over thought he was drunk and he blew he likes blue and he turns out he was brewing beer in his own status I heard about this I thought of you this morning I want to know if like growing alcohol in his own body it's a rare syndrome called Auto brouk auto-brewery something you have used to look it up it's fucking insane no one believed him when he said he hadn't been drinking then research has found his body was producing alcohol

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guy on the right looks like his body's producing alcohol yeah right now swollen take a shot interesting man you researchers at Richmond University Medical Center in New York eventually discovered that the man was telling the truth he wasn't Downing beers or cocktails instead it was yeast in his gut that was likely converting carbohydrates in the food he ate to alcohol and other words his body was brewing beer as fuck auto-brewery syndrome auto-brewery syndrome that

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at common ABS notice government got fermentation syndrome how many fucking people have them I've never heard of another lady two years three years ago whoa women claims her body bruised alcohol has DUI charge dismissed but which was she hammered that dude in the previous article was two and a half times the legal limits this was four times the legal limit she blew she blew it right but was she feeling the effects of it or is it just in her blood no it's in their blood they don't he doesn't feel it they it just I don't think you exert any

► 00:33:20

terms of being drunk I think it's just really are you guessing yeah I think that's what the article said I'm in touch with 30 people believe they have the same syndrome about 10 of them are diagnosed with it said Panola College dean of nursing Barbara Cordell who has studied the syndrome for years they can function at alcohol levels such as 0.30 0.40 when the average person becomes comatose or dying yeah these people are function part of the mystery of the syndrome is how they can have these extremely high levels and still be walking around and talking

► 00:33:50

talking well this bitch needs to talk to drunks we know a lot of people we know a lot of people could function who do you know that for Bert Kreischer Bert Kreischer probably does everything he doesn't like 50-point 0.50 imagine if you like we also had this if he had abs and he drinks like he drinks see my Instagram picture Bert today looks good he looks fucking great it looks really good with jibt yeah you know Whitney was like what Instagram filters this like unless he's doing with one some of my wife's friends do

► 00:34:20

my wife's friends are fucking there there cartoonists you that we're able to like Photoshop and I'll actually taking pictures there cartoonist yeah these bitches run filters on these pictures and they shrink their legs down right and they fuck with their friends like they make their friends but a little smaller or their arms a little bigger that's so diabolical man weird things you ever think that do anything like their friends changed give him a fucking double chin a little Jay Leno wish they definitely do that to each other they didn't they call each other up

► 00:34:50

hey take this one down I don't like how my week looks you look great no you look amazing that bird picture by the way the lighting is pretty fucking good I'm not gonna lie back to the picture there's almost nothing you could do about the side not but that lighting is nuts save it look at his side his side's wait that looks a little manipulated their what is that manipulated it's not manipulated trust me Bert is not that guy he's not smart enough to do then that's right oh no no no that's not what I'm saying he's not a liar like look Bert would not do that that's what he looks like

► 00:35:20

he's been fucking working out hard he's down to like 225 look at that Ari Ari wrote there he's raising his arms and sucking his belly tell him to post and interaction side shot of him on stage all right such a hater well they've got some beef now after the dose and GE said well he burped should have beat not re yeah are fucking dose them are you sure this is mad that it didn't land as well the well he is the way he wanted like our he's upset that Bert didn't like laugh it off and have fun with it who the fuck laughs off getting dosed with trust me dude I fucking

► 00:35:50

fucking nobody knows me would be fucking I think they should fight it out let him fucking Slug It Out a little while I think bird wants to fucking kill him for that who'd you win who'd win that fight really fun fight to watch because early early re squirrely he's got that like he's like lanky and long and fucking he could put up a good fight Bert's got the birds got probably the first guy probably you know there may be a reach on him I don't know much taller he is our he's very tall he's tall he's what is our like 6-3 he's Jutsu background

► 00:36:20

a little bit right a little bit little bit a little bit I bought him a year he probably went he went till he got staff and that was about basically the end of his career and most people would quit you got a bad staph infections knee man it was horrible swole up like he was walking with a limp that she can kill you oh yeah he didn't even know you had he thought it was a mosquito spider bite and he just let it go for a while we were playing pool and he was walking around with a limp I'm like what's wrong with your leg and he goes I got a spider bite and you know obviously I've done Jiu-Jitsu forever

► 00:36:50

and I know that sometimes people think it's a spider bite and its staff so I see let me see he pulls his knee up I go dude and I unscrew my pool cue I go go to the emergency room right now I could you have a bad staph infection you thought I was fucking with them he's like he's serious I'm like I am dead serious this can kill you I'm not kidding his fucking knee was all swollen yeah it up like a real clear staph infection I'm like dude you got I'm I'm telling you I'm not a doctor but that is fucking staff and then he was angry and he had a really good point he's like why don't they have signs in the gym yeah like you

► 00:37:20

Jiu Jitsu and it's up to everybody to tell you what staff is because Junior dos Santos just pulled out of his fight he was supposed to fight Alexander volkov but he got nasty staff in his leg like his lower leg like his calf area yeah all swollen and red and funky because you got a staph infection the same thing like he's like why is it spurts it's like painful like you thought like maybe like you know sometimes he clashed shins or sure do it a lot but you get a cut and

► 00:37:50

I just gets infected yeah like my cousin had mercy you know Marissa is yeah it's that's the worst it's the worst that's the worst version of stats like staff turns into Mersa well it's no it's medication resistant staph right staff plus whatever the coffee but it's like the medication itself extreme version yes what staff that you find in hospitals unfortunately right because a lot of times that kind of staff is immune to medication he doesn't even know how he got it but I mean it's that stuff that can you can fuckin lose like a hand and Shadow yeah I'm Lyle one of my wife's friends got staff and she

► 00:38:20

into a fucking coma started having seizures he said she got it from a gym from a dirty gym just like lifting weights and shit sit on those machines doing like lat pull-downs shallow scratch something happened next you know she has this infection doesn't know what it is it gets systemic and next thing you know she's fucking going into shock you know anybody that freaking out which why would I use budget like the gym I go to is like immaculately clean and I still walk around like even the bathroom and fucking flip flops I'm never ever since playing High School sports you learn it's like my

► 00:38:50

dad was always like don't be fucking walk around those lockers you have cuts on your feet of shit Splat your you're bound to catch something someone asks no one's friends wife's died from it from off infection under half they were trying to go a homeopathic they were like trying to cure with like fucking parsley and herbs and shit smacking it with leaves Talan went over the house and she was bleeding from her gums oh my gosh like what the fuck is going on you got to get her to a hospital if he died they just refused to go to the doc I don't know man I don't know the whole story count told me years ago

► 00:39:20

told me when I first got staff and I was like what and I remember I was on heavy doses of antibiotics the point where like like I was Fuzzy like everything was Fuzzy like everything was like config couldn't think straight oh my God my brain was dog shit because believe it or not your gut like what's inside your gut affects your personality it affects your ability to think your energy levels and when you're on when you have staff they fucking dose you up son yeah with heavy-duty

► 00:39:50

the antibiotics and I would I couldn't believe that people fight on that sometimes they fight on antibiotics when they have staff because you're just not and you're just totally out of it leave it I could barely make a fist like how the fuck did anybody fight like this Luke rockhold beat Chris Weidman for the UFC middleweight title when he was on staff medication which is like total and talking incredible function on it I like I'm not fucking beat Chris Weidman fucking insane saying I have no idea how he did it here like a nasty staph infection he wound up actually

► 00:40:20

being a chunk of meat removed from his from a shin and it's fucked him up so bad like to this day when he fights and he only fought once with this he has to have like a rap over his entire shin and he had skin grafts and all kinds of shit is didn't didn't totally take so he has to have his like an open wound on his shin like forever so he has like this big bandage over his shin and then everything's wrapped up and then he puts like a sleeve over it like a complete part protect the skin that compressions

► 00:40:50

sleeve over his calf and shin those other so much of that shit that's in sports like orange what's it what's it called it was always run high schools are always worried about people getting from like water fountains and shit do you know what I'm talking about guys grab ya her basis a fucking died of meningitis yeah I knew a kid in high school that had managed eyes he lost a hand and a foot from meningitis from like a high school but from high school shit because you're around all these kids with all these fucking diseases and sicknesses and it's woman incubator her kid got paralyzed from getting meningitis from one of those fucking water park

► 00:41:20

well that's why usually it comes from something water happens in water a lot apparently you know you get that water gets in your ears and gets in your fucking mouth there was a comic who died from meningitis do we fuck - yeah God damn it redheaded kid really nice guy me no well that's it from New York goddamn it he was flying out to do Fantasy Island Jerry red Wilson Jerry Wilson yeah he died from meningitis he

► 00:41:50

he was apparently in the doctor's office but it was taking too long to get seen by the doctor's waiting for like 45 minutes like Fuck this I'm getting out of here and he left he want to die holy shit yeah how do you get it do you know how he got it from do not know he was a nice guy to men funny kid too and his career was just starting to take off this is like in the 90s that's gonna I knew I'm from New York we knew each other from the clubs and then he came out here I had been living out here for like a year or so and he came out here and he's like shit was popping

► 00:42:20

we had a development deal do a TV show he was doing the new Fantasy Island remember when they had Fantasy Island I know yeah they brought it back he was doing the new Fantasy Island and and then he and then he just refused to fuck them goddamn plane he's got on a plane and I think I think he actually flew to Hawaii to do the show and when he got out there he was fucked by the time he got there he was fucked it's always sad when you hear people that like I don't know if you had instruct you know not that he did but you know when people have to have instructions to knock it on a plane this happens all the time if people like fuck that shit and then they

► 00:42:50

die because of it it's like that dude that was in Dave Matthews Band what happened he took he had surgery you got to look it up to make sure I'm not fucking out of my butt but he making things up yeah making it up here I think we can I find to make things I remember the old days yeah you didn't have to worry about things up yeah just make it up all day drinking beer talking shit people just tell you lies and you're like wow I didn't know you can get cancer from that like yep sure can give me another beer Jimmy yeah he died he I think he had surgery and he got on a plane right Leroy Moore right you were more

► 00:43:20

and he got in a fucking plane after the doctors told him not to fucking fly and he did and then he died 2008 because he had some kind of weird surgery right yeah accident has a TV right punctured lung right I do that because they are fresh died from them

► 00:43:36

wow oh pneumonia but he got pneumonia or six different he died from a blood clot the coroner's office to determine his cause of death to be pneumonia

► 00:43:48

wow fuck but as I don't know if it's going to say it on there I'm almost positive that they told him not to get on a fucking plane and he did any world how much does it take how many years is it take off a flight attendants life I mean they look at they all look so sad now they look sadder than they did when I was young why is that dude they all look so fucking sad did it get with it the pay get worse it can't be good no it never was good but the bet people used to do it usually because they were like I could fly for free and so can everybody my family but now everyone I see

► 00:44:18

PreFlight we take they look fucking miserable maybe it's you you're handing out barf bags and shit on are throwing up all over yourself in the bathroom clean this up blah even the ones that like even the ones that I'm I have a good feeling about even they seem like bomb the fuck out yeah I don't know I just like even when I'm like hey how you doing like hi do you want some before we leave I just feel like that's a it's a tough tough gig man that's a tough fucking gig to constantly be like you know what it really is because people

► 00:44:48

all are such pieces of shit and we're becoming more pieces of shit like nobody obeys any of the fucking rules about like overhead space and any of that stuff and I think it's it's extreme now because people are like I'm not checking my fucking bag yes I'll stuff it in the roof people do get a little Conti though some lady in this guy got a little country with me on the flight over because all the overhead bins were full and I was in one row and they were like four rows behind me and I went back there and I move some stuff around and put my bag up there

► 00:45:18

in the guys like you think he would use the bin that's above his head right

► 00:45:24

oh Mike don't you think I would if it was open like that so I could even look like look at all these bags and see all these bags people people are people cop attitudes for and they get mad at the this was insane we were in Denver coming back and a dude they had canceled the flight and a dude was losing it on the gate attendant you know he was like you fucking fucking asshole done out of that like going off and everyone's kind of like turn like pissed like a fucking pissed at this guy's losing on this asshole in a public space like this for no reason

► 00:45:54

and this dude is sitting on the floor and I can tell he's like kind of bobbing and he's like reeling and then finally he pipes up he goes hey go fly another fucking Airline it's not this guys fucking fall and then this guy was a cool what do you care about he's like dude it's not his fault if you got an issue with it let's go take a walk and the and you could tell his his Alpha fucking Step Up scared this to to death and he was like don't fucking yell at that guy that guy is nothing to do with that there comes a guy who yells at someone yeah some flight attendant or someone who works the death it's not her fault they don't get

► 00:46:23

to make the call now employs the kind of desk he is nothing he doesn't eaten by the way he doesn't care he's like dude I get paid fucking hourly I'm barely here he's not pretty stop pretending he runs Delta but I love with a guy said he goes go fly another fucking Airline because the guy kept saying he go you guys do this all the time and they do it on the ground goes go fly another airline but there's a ton of them if you're so unhappy wow like don't fucking yell at those I don't really deal with the conflict in the the heat in the air it was thick it was nice well I went up to him I was like dude that's cool that you said that he was well that guy's a piece of shit

► 00:46:54

I was like you know because it's like somebody should say something but no but it's that leap yeah we see something like do I tell this guy to shut the fuck up because then he's my problem yep right now it's not my problem nope that's what I mean it's like do I want to step into that world where this asshole then becomes a thing with me and then it's a whole thing well it could become violent yeah and Ever Know It's Just and you don't know these you don't know this freak if he's on it Dom that he's yelling at some lady that works there or some guy that works there exactly so fucking moron who knows what kind of shitty judgment that guy's going to have he did

► 00:47:24

bald with a ponytail if that's has everything it says everything you know everything that's a terrible look you know that guy unless he's Tong po stop it stop it bald ponytails such a choice do that why would you do bald ponytail so funny man is there a girl out there the fuck's guys only who are bald with ponytails sadly yeah come on sadly someone fucks the ball ponytail guy if he's at work what's his what's his game yeah money speaking of ball ponytail did you see what happened in the game when LeBrons here

► 00:47:53

fell off I somebody showed me a photo but I thought that looks so fun without real that's real look the guy is a fucking billionaire he's a god amongst men yeah he's a giant super athlete with a really well shaped head what the fuck man shave your head shave your goddamn head pull up that picture because I want to see the fucking he's got some nonsense glued on his head that's like not as hairy as a to Peg that look at that whose hair moved up and someone had to tell them this is their oh thanks bro so you get the the bandana

► 00:48:24

I can place his hair moved wait why did he do that some shit glued on his head broke the guy he's handsome he's a superior physical specimen LeBron's hair falls out during game that's it screaming Anthony Davis is telling a dog you here's up your hair fell off dog

► 00:48:47

oh he did tell him yeah hey hey I always Point your thumbs up with your hair he's laughing are they friends yeah he's only got so much time he's the only got a team that could probably tell him that anybody else would get treated immediately put it was fucking his hair oh shit oh shit and that last night he didn't have the headband on him me fix it up nice oh God he did have the head bet on it did not last night the greatest that's nonsense what's going on with his hair I I something with your hair yo dawg he's laughing yoga

► 00:49:17

got to fix that just so weird like why would why does he want to deal with that you know what his because he hasn't accepted it yet yeah but also he's still young he's 35 35 ever friend his mind he's like I gotta still be at the young guy you know but shave your fucking it's like John Cena grew his hair out now I saw him on a fucking billboard and he has long hair and he always had like short military cut you know I was trying to be a family man I know he wants to do that guy you're talking about the movies he's doing now kids like a kid's firefighter movies

► 00:49:47

bullshit I'll come on dude he wants to do the rock he wants to be the rock so fucking bad well it seems like a good move your butt but he won't be The Rock The Rock is the fucking rock hmm he's not gonna come anywhere near being the rock can't be can he beat John Cena nope can't even be John Cena nope technically but he does John Cena he just wants to follow that path of like WWE guy who's like sweet and nice and affable and also strong and can play the tough guy but but the rock is a

► 00:50:17

special person people think they're going to be that guy but can you be a version of that know what can he do no because look what it look it always looks cheap look at fucking what's the guy in The Fast and Furious well who is it what's his name Vin Diesel yeah it always looks cheesy so good I got the family family over everything he sounds cheesy everything he does the big tough guy thing is like only so many guys can pull it off anymore what has to be authentic it has to be cashed out here we are the first of all the rocks and undeniable giant tough guy yeah he's a fucking bad-ass

► 00:50:47

yes he's a gorilla yeah it felt like a fucking brick shithouse he's six foot six stacked super jeans Hawaiian gorgeous man Mammoth man super nice everybody loves and who doesn't live The Rock nobody it's just so that how big so it's on sentence pricey so big and our Johnson John Cena I'm sure he's a tough guy I'm sure he's strong he's top it's just some things I think they all think that they can come into Hollywood and it's like an easy transfer it's definitely not easy no it's just not the same thing well you know who's doing it though Dave Bautista he's found his way

► 00:51:19

he has I know he's in that movie with what the fuck man yeah but he's in Guardians of the Galaxy's great in those movies I tell you until you tell your story we can tell me tell me something it's just great in those movies now he's yeah I didn't yeah yeah I did a table read for that movie for you know because I knew some of the people involved and we just table and you know they just want people to come and read and write and of table report and Bautista man he look I felt like he

► 00:51:48

want to even fucking do it like half of the time regions of the Galaxy no no no the thing with Kumail the steamer thing but he was reading it and he was he was doing he had glasses on he was like doing this I mean seriously he would go like this I mean this is a script right there's a front of like all the executive and shit right and here we go

► 00:52:05

time to be time to be the guy that I need to be wait a minute but it's for you no dude this is for what this is everyone yeah table read like everyone's number of the means like executive producer here at never gotten the script before I felt like his fucking his first time on that boat but I was like what is going on dude it was of the for the studio do that script I'd be crazy that'd be crazy from to never see that scripting and do a studio table re I shouldn't even have said that the fuck it whatever

► 00:52:34

not in the movie yeah it just felt like he was like I'm just saying the difference when you meet people in in in this industry in the television stage television and film that are like just really really good right it's you see it right away they're on their fucking I bet you the rock is phenomenal and table reads and table reads are important because the studio gets to see it they get the kind of right you're selling it a little bit you know what I mean the movies gonna get fucking made it doesn't matter yeah but it's just like it sells you more to all of these other sources to

► 00:53:04

feel like Yep this is the guy we want to get behind ya because I've run into a lot of great actors and actresses in the business and like you can fucking tell Dude the way that they handle things sometimes you're like oh man that's why they're good they just are like ready for it it's like a it's like a good idea the same way a good comedian can just turn on you know we can be having this conversation seconds later you get on stage in Psych and you just know you know when to you know when to produce early he already got the gig and didn't guess it does yeah that's a bummer

► 00:53:34

I guess I get maybe it was the movie good I didn't see it I don't did you say anybody's in there you go you know what's a bummer to me that fucking Will Smith movie well we Gemini man nobody want to see it giant lock box office lost look fucking amazing but it was up against like to other right didn't come out with the joker and one other film though yeah something else something something else I was fucking huge it's like you couldn't did you see Joker you find this out yeah I loved it when I tell you what I told you this one

► 00:54:04

and Detroit I gotta I nearly lost my shit I hear I hear in the middle of the film in the middle like I've really serious scene I hear someone go they're bunched in on his face I hear a woman go did they photoshop a harelip on him it's losing it I almost threw my popcorn I was almost like that's it I'm out of here I felt like the way I felt when I first saw the movie Belly and theater hear things like that here things sometimes like you hear things like out of nowhere

► 00:54:33

you never heard a girl say in the house is okay but in the ass and the mouth no fucking way all right girl says right she's right but it's just like that comment that combination of things you when you like what like I'm sorry this is Jimmy John's can enhance fine but in the ass in the mouth no fucking way like oh boy what was the context of that fun conversation remember the well there's a site that's dedicated to that called overheard an Ela overheard in LA and all they do is talk about bullshit that you here in Los Angeles

► 00:55:03

that's like stupid La only phrases you know yeah and that's got to be one of them this place it's your out I'm checked out because it's on fire I know it's on fire the whole fucking place is on fire Bel Air is on fire right now yeah Bel Air yeah what you got girl dressed as a cat I'm almost 30 this hallway is my last chance to fuck a guy dresses Harry Potter great see

► 00:55:32

that's just fucking great overheard until late how much those writers though that are writing that kind of course yeah I'm sure I'm sure his birth to organically I'm sure some some dude started it for fun and then it just you know kept going yeah I'd like to fucking I'd like to go away from the fires Northern California is even worse than we are I think we complain but they're really listen Oma's on fire yeah they get bad that's bad up there yeah that's where Henry's who'd almost burnt fucking burn to death you can catch fires man everywhere that's dry and Allah is dry as fuck and

► 00:56:02

last year we got a lot of rain in the winter and everybody predicted that all this rain is going to dry out as soon as the rainy season was over the grass was going to go really high because of all the nutrients and all the water and then boom because the nutrient when we have fires and then water it's a terrible combination because apparently all the carbon from the fire actually helps all these plants grow right and then it's okay overgrown and then now it's over now there's all this dead shit now it's so overgrown yeah so when the areas where I run weeds were

► 00:56:32

higher than I'd ever seen him before right like fucking six foot tall weeds and all that mustard grass shit yeah that stuff yeah that fucking shits everywhere yeah and then when that dries up it's over what are those things called that like my dog gets him up foxtails you know they're yeah oh my God everywhere and that shit's dry and fucked up every mind dog gets America he has long hair yeah because Golden's are bad and he runs into the fucking bushes he loves that shit he's a crazy takes forever we took my dog fucking camping that was the worst shit on Earth because she was just rolling around in that shit I loved it and she gets

► 00:57:02

Echo happy and I'm like God damn it I gotta pick these fucking things up from I get a brush them yeah brush I'm the worst yeah we're on fire I want to go I wish we could go where would you go you go to Chicago I go back to Chicago yeah I would if I really could I would if I could just tore from Chicago and then do whatever I wanted to do every once in a while why couldn't you so much to do here there's so much shit here so what's the problem hmm friends you have friends like you Diaz and all our friends that are here you know I love

► 00:57:32

the fact like last night I did that benefit for Calvin Kevin's friend yeah I go their jobs their Norma Donald's their we're all having fun cows there we're all laughing hugging each other we have a great time Chappelle Lacey was there we're all laughing it's so fun like I love the fact that I could leave my house I left my house at eight o'clock I'm there at 9:00 I'm home by like midnight you know I'm not even a single home at 11:30 I was only there for like an hour and a half but I had a great time I have recharged of come

► 00:58:02

a durian friendship you're not going to get that if you leave and plus it was cool to do you know we didn't Arena Saturday night and then go to do the main room it's like you see you feel the difference to those two rooms so different you you know you ought to talk about is how fucking we were taken back by the Fox Theater was fucking insane in Detroit on yeah people you can see it on my Instagram I took videos of it and some photos and it's the most beautiful theater and I've worked at a lot of beautiful theaters the most beautiful theater where it was stunning man when they

► 00:58:32

they the the staff was so cool they took us out afterwards to show was done we had chilled for a while me and Ian Edwards and Joe had gone back down to the stage and holy shit yeah they're gonna fucking look about that is it's crazy and this is from the 1920s and they restored it did he say in the 80s yeah the 80s I got restore fucking a this place is beautiful and the staff there is proud yeah like like that dude that I forgot I don't remember his name unfortunately really nice guy that that gave us all the and then they took

► 00:59:02

turn the lights down for us so we can see what it really looks like and then turn the roof light on because they had all these spotlights on so they could clean and get everything ready and they turn those down for us and then turn the house lights on so we could see all the ornate gilded wood work and just like you can't build a place like this and what you can't you can kind of see on the top row there's faces carved up there yeah and he said they're all hand done I mean it's just it was fucking unreal oh he said he said they redid it in the 80s and Five Guys died while building

► 00:59:32

adding it while fixing it and he said when they had a guy up there cleaning they found a helmet and like a like a pickaxe almost that was like placed in the helmet was on the pickaxe and this bozo comes down he's like hey Mac look at this look at this shit and the guy was like hey put that back that was a in memory of one of the builders that died during the original construction of it like they had put a deep in the rafters they found he found it when I was cleaning it was awesome he's like this place is and he and then right

► 01:00:02

of course I knew it was going to go there after me and Joe are like oh yeah fucking yeah this is amazing and then he goes and he goes and you know it's haunted I was like I knew that was coming I could tell from that I could have just like a look from his face he wanted to tell us that so bad your mother's pussy song your mother's pussies he said somebody George Lopez no he said some comic was there and could hear the knocking apparently there's like knocking in the roof and he just bitched about it half of the show was saying like he kept hearing the knocking while he was on stage and I was like millions of the last hurdle

► 01:00:32

and subdue the fucking Nazi bombing bro dude you can hear the knocking from of the knocking that's bothering me well do the other night you said it at the Improv there was a cricket inside yeah it was Amplified lucky only you could hear it so low I was so loud and that was both shows yeah right yeah so shows Wednesday the first show I didn't hear it because Jesus was like Jesus made a joke right away he goes man you know it's bad when the Crickets are louder than the laughs Sarah uh yeah and then I was like I didn't hear it I went on stage I couldn't really hear it

► 01:01:02

the second show I was so loud I could hear it must have been pumping the roof and something no it was over near the piano so the pins over right underneath the fucking news amplifying the piano piano Joe is loves the piano at the Hollywood improv that's my favorite thing I love the fact that it takes up seats I love the fact that it gets in the way of the people that are sitting over there they don't have a good view of the show I love the fact that it's fucking useless no one plays piano there they say Craig Robinson music Craig Robinson has his own fucking keyboard reason a board brings in everywhere he goes

► 01:01:32

yeah whenever he does shows it's not hard puts in his trunk yep you know and they have one there for him to have a key role that bitch out that stupid fucking piano then they have to stupid fucking pianos have one upstairs in the Green Room yeah Mike what are what what what you know bud luck bud probably loved pianos that's all the animals and monocles I'm love panels must have fucking loved it two by two piano it is an old idea did this did the store used to have a piano right next to the stage in the main room like when you

► 01:02:02

I must have Jeff Scott would play piano like he does in the main room yeah does he still play piano in the main room or in the all-white rather keyboard in the OR keyboard keyboard over there yeah well these two have a piano in the main room yeah I do remember they are piano and is that the only club that still has a professional keyboardist I've never realized you up down in San Diego at The Comedy Store that keep them coming yeah he plays he plays on there too loose sweet Lou he plays the he plays a keyboard down there

► 01:02:32

I might be the most underrated room in the world yeah Thomas tour La Hoya's fucking phenomenal I'd be the most underrated as finale it's phenomenal it's actually I've talked about this before when it's that it's the perfect shape and size and number because it's a it's a nice box it slow and quiet and black the stage is not too high it's great it's like a it's like the or in LA but it's on it's on one you know I mean this is de pollo filmed or recorded one of his comedy specials there at the Devil oil CD yeah he recorded a CD there

► 01:03:02

it's fucking great place to do stand-up it is no it's I mean and it's packed constant because those people down there they don't want to make the drive to come up to fucking LA and there's nothing around their Club wise yeah you get American Comedy Company in San Diego then go there but La Hoya's so beautiful voice beautiful my lives in La Jolla I wouldn't want to go anywhere we said that we if we were going to go down to San Diego you moved to La Jolla oh yeah it's fucking beautiful the fucking Cliffs your see the yeah you off the cliffs yeah be breakfast over there it's so nice stunning it's a great little

► 01:03:32

pocket you know can walk to Tijuana how crazy is I don't want to do that shit how crazy is that what do we were saying that in the car we were like San Diego is just like beautiful pristine city with a lot of money you know well are you not a ton of culture but you know that's okay dear yeah that's okay I mean you've seen some of the shit that fucking here yeah okay and then you cross the fucking border and TJ is like donkeys fucking women marshmallow shows fucking Chiclets a marshmallow I'll show you the shoe marshmallows out of their pussies there yeah you don't know

► 01:04:02

what kind of force you have to generate to get a marsh do you have strong muscles

► 01:04:07

what does it sound like

► 01:04:13

ping pong balls bouncing ping-pong Stanhope told me a story about some lady in Thailand that could chew up bananas with her pussy and spit out chunks of it should take your banana stuffed into pussy chop it up in my head I just got has teeth like a night well she just had a fucking severe pinch yeah some girls have stronger pussies in other

► 01:04:42

fuck yeah that's just a fact and I think some gals just let the pussy be what it is get it in there oh we both feel good it feels amazing good some girls are no no you can put a little extra in there just put a little a some girls just know how to squeeze it genetics or is there there's training to now kegels manage exercises but it's just the act of squeezing it I think every girl can squeeze it but the act of actively squeaky requires work I know when you feel the squeeze its kind of it's awesome well it's also it feels great

► 01:05:12

ain't no matter what yeah right yeah vaginas are perfectly designed thing yeah I know all the things in nature to have sex with vaginas number one let me think for a second I don't know I've never really fucked a lot of different things yeah that a vagina is about as good as it gets like Nature's designed it so that you spewed really quickly so that you can make a baby while the lions are coming out that's how is in come and go come and go because it's supposed to be like yeah I trunk run fucking leopards so you know we're getting lazier as a culture because we're trying to hold out as long as ya can't ya

► 01:05:42

well it's just weird we're still safe we're so safe we're trying to like we're trying to not come how about those assholes that try to like calm internally you know they do tantric oh sting they don't come and get you some sex for hours cancer sex fuck and they come internally with their body absorbs it and they don't shoot any loads how weird to not shoot a load the actually the first time I jerked off I didn't shoot it scared me what did you do I jerked off and I came and I think I stopped and nothing came out

► 01:06:12

and a freak me the fuck out I think I'm out nobody know you came because I feel like I came but you were so young and never come before 32 I don't know I just remember the first time and then I did it again later that night and I did come but I was scared I don't know I was freaked out you know Eddie Bravo told me it's over when he was young he was dating this girl and she was always worried that he was cheating on her and so that when if if he would come she would get upset if it wasn't that much she's like how come you didn't come that much

► 01:06:42

like what measuring mile it wasn't there wasn't that much come did you fuck around and he was like what she kept thinking he was you imagine like someone's like like measuring judging the amount of projectile the amount of ejaculate I mean she well was he yeah the other thing maybe she was clearly not she's like this load is light it's a little light load here about yeah it's like when someone tells you an a that we do like hmm this looks a little for suspects bag feels a little

► 01:07:12

all on the lights oh dude this annoyed me so much but I saw an article that said they are finally at their there at the final stages of making odorless weed this company in Colorado is making odorless we have that's what I said get the fuck out of here dude here's the thing about weed it only smells to other people when you smoke it it doesn't smell not while it's delicious but it's not weird yeah like when you getting high like I don't smell anything yeah that's true you really can't people walk in the room like what the fuck someone kill a skunk in this room holy shit boys yeah

► 01:07:42

I smell weed I these guys are trying to make everyone's trying to manipulate weed to be everything not we'd just fucking leave weed alone this is how those people died from that Vape shit they made all that fake weed pods or whatever is how they died from that Vape should they Vape 24 hours a day 7 days a week while that's going to happen jailbot dick out of your mouth you fucking weirdo you was I was at my doctors office the other day and I got on the elevator is one of my favorite things when the guy gets on the elevator stinking a weed yeah yeah he recognized me I'm like what's up bro he's like yeah how to get my head straight

► 01:08:12

he goes for work but it's my job I mean it's my company so it's all right are you okay well what was what he do I don't know but he's hiding like a fuck yeah but was a medical office building I mean maybe you can just can't you run them an office air if you're down here yeah you have to be in the field yeah that's get my head straight showcase how your my head straight he stunk stank stunk of weed whoo I like I like it when I like it when I walk by it and you can smell it somewhere and you're like all right it just is like a nice little

► 01:08:42

up for the day you're like hotel rooms good for them pass in a hotel room oh yeah right there yeah how funny is it Ohio still you have to have AIDS and cancer and loves her she still I know someone that got it without that would they do as shoulder surgery or something like that yeah but come on but what happens after surgery that's enough but he has to renew it I don't ya know happens there but just right over in Michigan freely this fucking Billboards everywhere sock La it's spreading across the country it's nice

► 01:09:12

it's a nice feeling like we're in the car you drive and you see you know the best cannabis in Michigan you like all right right on all right you guys did it welcome to the 21st century to we were talking here in La they finally have they finally have full legal cannabis cafes where you can eat dinner and get hot you can get served by a budtender and dinner yeah that's some Lowell Lowell Cafe their response for the podcast their fucking awesome that you can eat there's no my buddy just went amazing he said the food was phenomenal yeah but he says you get full bud

► 01:09:42

Anders fold it like really nice meals he's like the Ambiance is gorgeous it was this old I remember where it was to an old shitty shut down like you know on the corner of La when there's like a used to be a gas station then it's like should they sell junk you know I mean it's just like a junk pit you know of like sometimes it's like a flower sale place or whatever signed and they they gutted that clean it out turn it into this gorgeous restaurant with all this beautiful foliage on the outside it's really nice man here's the thing about cigarettes cigarettes kill your taste buds

► 01:10:12

the weeds we did enhances your test buds which people don't know like when you smoke weed and then eat food taste better so it's so much better it does even shit I don't like taste better but but also like do you think if you were high as fuck you to be able to tell there's something wrong with those vegetables situate probably actually probably

► 01:10:33

God that's so funny something's wrong if I turn I go do these are just weird about this I'm not going to show any more not instead I was just like that's got to be that's that's got to be true though that it has his in the right way that's like magic fruit we've talked about that what's magic fruit you can order this online magic fruit changes your the chemical composition of your taste buds on your tongue for about 15 to 20 minutes what is so sour things taste sweet you can talked about this yeah we talked about it and we talked about during the podcast I think we did yeah really yeah magic not on this one but I don't

► 01:11:03

about it for sure oh so maybe talked about it with another person yeah you should come to Google the real name I don't know what the magic for real name is but but it's a berry it's like the nut of a berry and you you you eat it when you put in your mouth it doesn't taste great or you put the dissolve tablets they have now and your toll tongue the composition of your tungsten so like you could eat a lemon and it tastes it tastes sweet wow yeah it's fucking miracle mirror sorry fruit so that's the mm delicioso for some siness poem don't know Liam for see him look at you

► 01:11:33

you're really good with Latin don't foresee who do you have a Latin education yeah plant known for its Barry when eaten causes sour food subsequently consumed taste sweet effect is known is the fact is due to miraculin crackling sounds too close to mescaline yeah have you ordered one you got the other well so have a good night interesting yeah it's wild man a good friend of mine did it at a dinner party and we were because a lot of people are skeptical they were like I don't know he's like you should try it so the net but for appetizers here

► 01:12:03

give us this and you know they had a platter of different things to try out that were usually sour and it's insane how sweet it tastes you what about a sweet fruit like a melon without taste well everyone has when you taste sugars it tastes different on everyone's tongue when you're on this fruit so for some people taste is dull and other people it tastes kind of like off like it's not it's not the correct flavor profile so like some people take like for me sugary stuff tasted kind of dull or like nothing Apple does doll mmm-hmm Apple's not sweet enough like a like an orange

► 01:12:32

like I said an orange slice what happened it just tastes kind of flat flat yeah flattens weird interesting I never know about that I never I've never I've never even heard about yeah every day the more you know the more you know but that stuff that's stuff I wish there was more shit like that for food when you ate it that like makes it taste better and makes different things taste better that like the that gets rid of the one part that that's nasty like I like blue cheese but then sometimes if I eat it I taste too much of the of the fucking well I love that stuff I love it I think

► 01:13:03

I need a giant bar of blue cheese I can do that I can't do that Jamie lives face I love blue cheese just in small doses I'm okay with it but if it's too much of it too much at a Guffey cheese stuff like I enjoy stake as is yeah I don't need anything on steak but I've had steak like a filet mignon would like a blue cheese crumble on top goddamn phenomena we had good steaks at dinner that Jamie Miss because he couldn't come see him hang up yeah you fucked up ROK and Ork Jamie losses Jamie got one of them Cool Front wallets orig

► 01:13:32

wallet which I have to they're the best but in they have RFID protection but his ever happened to you has anybody ever scanned your credit card has been wondering about that if people I mean I remember like Dateline special people can scan your when you're walking by they can do that but did how many ever do that I'm sure they do definitely think they have done it okay but how do they do it they have to be right on top of it like how's it work though they have to have to be within a certain amount of distance like just like on the bank scanner same thing you know yeah I've heard have to be within a few feet of you that's be pretty I think Subway's places like that are more susceptible

► 01:14:03

sitting next to someone for a long period of time and they're right near you run the squawking by you is got to be so hard to pick it up well so Jamie has is Ridge wall but he also has sweatpants yeah don't worry also had his feet up on the chair in front of them is yell at me lately birth and his his shit philology ID credit cards lost it no cash though right no cat maybe 20 bucks huh yeah and your idea so you couldn't come see us man you fuck

► 01:14:32

it up bro you might he might be fucked up so hard that he can't come to New York next week for Mazda Dal versus Diaz not even next week Saturday night days yeah Saturday night he doesn't know when he's going to get his ID are you in process right now did you try to get a passport I so there's a couple of things that you I thought you could do apparently you can't do so there's a confusion on what that is about the ability for that the actual card is now on the way in the mail like through the state's not just in the hands of the still get in a month

► 01:15:03

the only time I ever lost it might in Ohio you could just go go back and get it right away so like an old days yeah I don't know when the times have changed on that I don't think the birth certificate I have is certified because it's an actual photo copy of my real birth certificate which I used to use that was a good thing to have back and photocopying bitch you have to have a nice sort of shit now I don't even have that my mom's going to help me get it oh gee that's too bad oh I don't know even know where any of that stuff has gotta be my mom's I'll somewhere but I have no fucking idea where that stuff is so Cheese's social

► 01:15:32

I always bring my passport as well just in case yeah that's a smartass but also clear clear is that shit I know we walk right through the best you do they do your fingerprints picture comes up you are clear you are in clear and then you go on through the people are super friendly they walk you all the way up to the guy or the gal who's working there they wave at you every walks right through and I have pre and TSA Pre our TSA Pre and clear same you do it well you don't travel International enough to have Global right you don't have clothes that to pitch

► 01:16:03

would you do if you don't even think would not go to the Country Shit I've been on the country every fucking year for know but 15 I know but does everybody in your family have it too they all got to have it yeah come on global Clarence come on I don't fuck with that time on we have you don't fuck with global entry I don't have it open she gives you free TSA Pre how about that I already got you I didn't know that you get one you get both how about that I didn't know you gotta go everyone if Most states I don't know actually I don't know how many states have this but being at the DMV last few days real ideas and new

► 01:16:32

thing coming through some states and if you want to travel domestically yeah you're gonna have to add a new idea what or your past you can't just oh Larry of the fuck that's the five from like your Ohio ID your passport for that you have to have a passport you wanna go to Vegas yeah shut up that's so dumb or get this new version of the California ID him to go give brought another brother wants a baby brother just put something in my arm just give me my ID and what they want fuck you want you to give in let them do white oh my God I'm doing I gave in when I bought these fun

► 01:17:02

at this tracking device that's listening to me 24 hours a day the phone yes what are you doing at the what's the worst thing you do that phone picks up talk shit that's normal that's normal do you think that's so funny those optional sure there's a file there's a file of all the shit talking but if they log your shit talking and sure they do yeah I'm sure they do one day you're gonna say something bad about the government going to pull you aside I say so many bad things whatever president Elizabeth Warren is going to bring you into a room Shut Your Mouth She's gonna show you all the things you it's going to be Peter Budaj

► 01:17:32

Legend you know that either but it did you to do what is that some Governor from some local some local South Bend Indiana and she's like we got are he's all we got a fag running in the office Mayor Pete what'd he say some homo we got some homo running for president who said that some dude it's of local government thing city yeah it was all mad he's like and some woman left you like I'm so offended I'm so offended and it when people are like people doing a good job as mayor that's now dick yeah remember when although there was a cop that shot someone in his response was inadequate and so they

► 01:18:02

all these fucking people saying that how the fuck are you running for president while you're the mayor yeah which I don't understand either no I don't understand how the fuck you gonna have an incredibly time-consuming tax taxing job like being the mayor of a major city not major but it's a city a city there's a few people live in there you're supposed to be running that and you're also running for president it sounds like you're slacking yeah right yeah it's like if you had a job and you were the fucking CEO of whatever fucking Heineken right and then in the meantime your

► 01:18:33

out there campaigning to be the CEO of Budweiser yeah Hanukkah will pull you over hate-fuck face and talk to you for a second do you what are you doing it's up to you you're not even here you eight hours out of the fucking week you're off going doing Budweiser shit yeah but it's a great gig but why is it gets really good game I like to keep the Heineken gig why try to get the Budweiser Gig if you don't mind if you guys are cool with it yeah hope you guys are cool with it but did you find it you laugh even more look at that widely spread video a community commissioner count County Commissioner Warren Hearst can

► 01:19:03

seen giving minutes long speech against what he sees is an American changing America changing towards liberal values arguing beginning to make his jurisdiction a gun sanctuary meaning that resources would be diverted away from enforcing certain gun laws are slow in the speech Hearst lamented what we got running for president and the Democratic party saying that better candidates could be found in jail he continued we

► 01:19:32

got a queer running for president if that ain't about as ugly as you can get referring to Buddhist we gotta go we're running for prison in the game wow I did about as ugly as you can get we think would happen if you became president how bad were the homophobia be in this country through the fuck every row fucking Rowley shitted it almost would be worse for gay people in the short run yeah right yeah it's like yeah the homophobes would make they would be so adamant it would be so it'd be dangerous for Buddha could you could you could go to church but the church would set up but

► 01:20:02

it never fucking snowball's chance in hell I mean he's not even remotely close no you know who kills me is that beta or rope or work I know rakia seems like a joke like someone said look dude here's the sketch for the next 24 months you are going to pretend you're running for president and I just want you to like skateboard and say a bunch of dumb shit and you being banished envelope real clumsy with the way you talk about things but tell them you going to take their guns just say it openly say

► 01:20:32

ah fuck the Second Amendment I'm taking your guns at me beta Veda or Rourke I'm going to be Alpha oh Santino on the next time I run it's like you know how you know like you know how Ali G like he has these characters yeah Sarah Sacha Baron Cohen yeah you know he has the fucking Borat character he has the other two gay character it's almost like a character yeah like I'm like a fictional person I was like yes super

► 01:21:03

like emo sort of Sam Tripoli had a picture of Beto on his Instagram saying don't ever forget this when this guy runs for president it's him covered with letters like letters all over his body this is like vegan feminist it's like writing all over his body and I said to Silas is that really him it's like fuck it is I don't know if Sam really know ya just gotta say I'm Sam's done any research Sam and I were Sam and I have endless endless arguments like over

► 01:21:32

fucking nowhere perfect I almost hope it is him but I don't know I'm looking for that exact picture that was gonna be the only thing I do know about him before this was happening was that he was known to be in this thing called The Cult of the dead cow which is like a hacker group back in the day oh my God our first hacker groups you know like when the movie hackers Yang like that time period I think it must come from that the cult of the dead cow being covered with all the word that's right I don't know what this know it's like him in his underwear with writing all over his body

► 01:22:03

did you see that they fucking change the ABCs

► 01:22:07

yeah how'd they do that thanks now they don't know it's not you know because our youth you know you learn LMNO LMNO P so now it's not LMNO why they sing it A LMN they change the rhythm of the fucking song why did they do this because they don't want kids to say Elemental to get confused at those are not separate that they are separate letters I saw yesterday who's the they that changed it I don't know I recorded a new version of the song Right fire but it's all over the place today is the date it's getting confusing like was it is it going in schools that's the one

► 01:22:37

I don't know I everywhere though but did you did you find the baofeng picture I don't know I think I saved it to my favorites I see a bunch of like older pictures of them for back to another so if you go on Sam did you save it on Juliette Sam's Instagram it's not as Graham right or you could ask Sam to send it to you I don't I didn't have it in my favorites I probably so disturbed by it and make it a favorite you know it's Sam's wallpaper on his phone I'm sure wallpaper in this house

► 01:23:07

send a hit on his Instagram it's pretty far back okay yeah it's like six months ago yeah maybe too far back see posts every day it might not be worth it I was just going to say just Instagram Sam Tripoli Beto what a weird name to Beto Beto is so close to Beta better Oak it's just that you seem like such a silly guy and then that girl Katie he'll announce her resentment because

► 01:23:36

is just bad dude and a woman yeah throttles baby she was banging a guy and a girl yeah really well the girl she openly admitted to the guy she said was there was false rumors about their work sexual relationship that they never hooked up at work or some bullshit like that what's the problem that her husband that's probably part of it but she's married and but that her husband comma problem one that he's being emotionally abusive to her

► 01:24:06

by like releasing all this information about her cheating oh that's hilarious yeah he's being emotionally abusive magic if it was a wife doing that about mail come on maybe I wouldn't know would say that you would never say that she's being emotionally abusive about her cheating husband nope that's Larry said but it's hard to start a cold that I read said he's being emotionally abusive about her past about her whatever infidelity yeah her infidelity right then he spoke us because they got video you know there's video

► 01:24:36

of her for banging girls hooking up with these two hooking up with people and pictures and all this shit wow some common kind of funny wow tweet this morning that was like I just like the idea of a throttles kind of hard but when you saw the picture of who she hooked up with your like bomber well sometimes sometimes it's better just the imagination I found the picture Sam put update I know this is not a real picture of Beto we updated the updated I caught it before it was a state for it too damn it said no never mind okay I what I was going to think I didn't think I was going to

► 01:25:06

I find that either but imagine if it was real put the picture up yeah I want to see I want to see it regard so Tripoli yeah look at that look look look look look how nice a theist vegan naturist is that a word naturist ecologist queer slot hmm okay that's someone's boy and that's not a real picture what's a picture of someone but not fatal but of beta naught of beta but it looks exactly like it looks a lot like them I think trip we thought it was him who is hoping the old

► 01:25:37

you just say it's him yeah what does it show a picture I promise man you promised yeah I'm a citizen hasten to what and when people are Mason's everybody freaks out I'm so ignorant I don't really know what that is but I see it all the time it's an ancient group that you could belong to and I know but they still have I know that but I mean still happening today as I don't know I don't understand who's cool becomes a Mason today isn't Michael Chevelle is a Mason and I think Pat miletich is amazing as well someone else Randall Carl's how do you do

► 01:26:06

you go through it what do you do is there like a fraternal fucking oh no I think it's like some guy explained it to me once in Houston some dude and he seemed pretty honest he's like that's fucking guys Club you hang out yes like the Rotary Club like some secret shit's gone on forever and ever he goes but it's nothing it's mostly just a place where guys hang out they say that that's how bitterly doing yeah planning some fucked up shit that's that's really where people plants everything okay well don't worry about us it's nothing government takeover type shit yeah yeah

► 01:26:36

yeah who do we talk to in the car that said that they were saying

► 01:26:41

they think oh that day was talking about Snowden saying that he's oh yeah controlled opposition roll opposition that term that term bugs the shit out of me yeah because I've heard it so many times used about me it's your controlled opposition yeah that's what I did my entire life what I did was I got into martial arts I became a martial arts Guy taught martial arts got into stand-up comedy but it's really just to become controlled opposition yeah all of it this career you know putting together

► 01:27:11

they're a podcast all that talking shit smoking weed with Elon Musk it's just controlled opposition it was just a long the big long play along play it's basically the Chinese government got a hold me when I was a baby and they groomed me did ya oh yeah I didn't know oh yeah yeah

► 01:27:29

goodbye role of a physician is what people on the outside you know if you ever had someone like come up with a theory about you that you read it you like what I'm gay according to the internet that's my that's my favorite what let's make some gay because I sat on a post one time that I married Chris D'Elia that we were like running away and like a foreign publication got a hold of it that like this the English translations hysterical what do you think the original language was I don't have no idea when or foreign minister foreign just form just foreign foreign foreign but it just says I'm gay if you look it up

► 01:27:59

Christine okay it says a lot of things say I'm gay regulations yeah I'm actually kind of stoked about if you get would you be a top or a bottom I'll be a power bottom power what is a power by push back you know what I mean okay we wear boots I start yeah grips and shit gloves over fingerless gloves I slam back right right right like the kind that guys work out in the park you know those guys was work gloves yeah there I am I've gained through sentido married with why for gay men bio hints what sexuality might be live Ram

► 01:28:29

up up that's the name of the website looking you and aleeya larious yeah that is what you looking at picture I know oh my God you look like you're looking at dick on home I'm so hungry for it hungry hungry hungry yeah it says I'm gay dude so I guess I am we're going to do at least you're not controlled opposition I am though you're both mmm-hmm okay controlled opposition yeah I've been a government experiment those gloves those workout gloves

► 01:28:59

guys will work out in the park will do like those crazy calisthenics guys they wear these like work gloves to wear work gloves with a workout yeah I've been fucking fascinated by these videos your pay attention those workout in the Park Street workout guys yeah oh my God you seen the prison workout guy can do yeah but I mean these guys in the park is what I'm talking you know there's something they do it outside now they take prison workouts and they teach them in the park there's a guy that does a YouTube thing that's like prison workouts in the park and shit I don't know there's a guy who has Park workouts I didn't know the

► 01:29:29

in workout yeah but what and he they and I don't know this guy wears the gloves with what he where he knew uses whatever he can write well these guys are just using like the monkey bars and like parallel bars and chin-up bars and stuff that you find you know how those those workout areas in Parks yeah these guys man the fucking build on these dudes the other jacked incretin the fucking Feats of Strength that they do where they live have they'll do a chin-up keep their legs extended yeah what is the the name of this

► 01:29:59

YouTube channel bar Stars it's just yes an older video to write 2011 there's a bum million there's a bunch of these believe it or not this guy does not have an impressive Physique in comparison to a lot of these fuck now truthfully some of these guys are it son fucking real yeah but it's an amazing way to exercise when you realize like this shit look at this shit look at this shit this guy's doing dips but he's doing dips with his legs almost parallel to the floor behind him that requires like freakish

► 01:30:29

troll of your body there's so many of these guys too it's like it's an incredible way to work out like you really realize like many you don't need a gym to get a body like that like who wouldn't be happy with a body like that who be like I got to lift some weights that's about as good a body as you can get and these fucking guys are all doing it at the gym I mean at these you know these Jim setups in the park do you get a fucking amazing workout it's just a lot of push ups sit ups and pull ups right that's the majority of

► 01:30:59

yeah this guy looks good to me see some guy there was one guy that did it he was Mom 52 you see one guy who did it who was 63 Jamie what but he's he's in good shape he's in good shape but one guy who did it was 63 but there was a guy that I was looking at the other day that was 35 years old and he looked like a fucking comic book superhero and the dude was talking to him CeCe they're all having these it's all worked with the love loves but they were talking to this dude

► 01:31:29

and they were like this is all you do you don't live anyways it's like I don't touch weights mon all I do I like this fucking guy look at this fucking back build on this guy look at his muscle ups and he and Jamie's been trying to do a muscle up for four years now never even come close by the way guys just throwing six seven muscle-ups eight freakish this is a great transition from is Andrew Gay to than me and you watching men do pull-ups is going to be great for the internet but the build these guys

► 01:31:59

create know it's just just from doing muscle ups can you do what I'm doing can you must have no jamming can disguise at 12 he did 12 fucking muscle-ups that's insane man dying at twelve oh my God is it but they all wear those work gloves like look at the fucking shredded these guys are

► 01:32:21

it's an amazing way to work out man because it's all body weights you know it's all chin-ups and dips and push-ups and they figure out a way to do them in all sorts of different ways right they figure out a way to do these chin-ups and dips and different angles so you're hitting the bottom of your chest the top of your chest think there's a lot of genetics involved there too well there's a lot of hard work man I don't care what kind of genetics you have to do what that guy just did you need to fucking work hard for a long time totally but also like those guys are fucking that's Supreme athlete shit to at some point

► 01:32:51

blessed with like athletic skill to be able to get to that point you know what I mean some people can work out a lot and still never be able to do a fucking muscle on the Jamie like that yeah excuse me I just had an injury I've been recovering from which what is it what is it fell while I was using one of our hoverboards I told you not to fuck with the do did he fucked his back right there away with the one-wheel thing now the other whether the to we all know that those I don't like those fucking thanks those are great you ain't shit oh did he chit feet up feet up

► 01:33:21

the camera back first boom oh shit really had my camera my hand I was getting real confident I thought I could start filming while I was going around on it keepo I just like look at the lens whoop next thing I know I was like on the ground camera J but they got me on that one wheel he's been hurt for like over a year what what did you hurt the mouse it Cole it literally I don't know what I went through basic fucked up my foster home because it started my back I couldn't sit right for a while then it just started problems down my left leg and hip and shit yeah not good if you can't

► 01:33:51

right man you get a bulging disc easy you know how people get bulging disc guys with big wallets you have like a while you keep too many business cards Is that real fuck yeah it's real that's funny as you're sitting on your wallet and your all your weights on one ass cheek and your disc gets compressed punch at a computer all day after a while bulges you know who doesn't have a wallet who me how about Jamie Jamie is evolving Jamie doesn't either I put all my shoes I put all my shit in my front pocket that's from when I was a kid you don't have what do you do with your credit cards my front pocket you don't have a clip or anything nope Brody

► 01:34:21

ever see a ridge wallet you know what those are you know get one of those yeah I used to push him on my show I just I don't like I don't like wallets that would be like I just like to have in cash and cards you don't even know you have a case on your phone now I do now I know I know I know I know I know I used to never have a case you know why it broke no it's made out of glass no you're not stupid anymore no I'm still gonna know I'm still fucking stupid I put a case on it because the Apple Care is gone on this thing now someone scared no it's just cause I have two phones the phone is done

► 01:34:51

I don't know it's like I paid the phone off and then there's no apple care anymore left scared and I just I just I don't want to have to deal with it now oh you you're dealing with it before no I just if I did break it I would just go get a new one so you one of those guys when you have car insurance you drive like an asshole yeah you can rental insurance do you get rid of insurance or no no because my insurance has it covered already yeah but they try to get it for you right yeah but I always enjoyed coverage I treat those things like we can come crashing it yeah you I mean

► 01:35:21

I have a fun car I'm gonna drive it fun I want to drive it fun I get it bro you do you know you know I'm not that guy what car I'm not the guy that pulls on it me I didn't I pointed out before right now you're pulling the am not that guy who is he pointing that finger going straight across from yourself well fuck you pay me funny years ago fall off a fucking hoverboard again on the other side balance you know about good with handles now thing he does he's gonna power scooter wait what goes fast yeah what do you mean of power

► 01:35:51

like a fucking fucking Birds scooter but like way faster girls like 25 miles an hour like a Usain Bolt Sprint is that a custom-made did you get that how do you can't buy that you just buy it buy from China the trying to kill white people hell yeah that's made in America fuck yeah China no it's not the pieces are it was probably compiled assembled in China guess they got me on the one we left there I my fucking I learned it real fast how many of those Maga hats are made in China every single one probably are every single one every fucking one yeah I love them that's hilarious

► 01:36:20

Mega has to be made in China as fuck you know fashion wise fashion is going to when he's gone and all this shit's over within a decade or so those hats are going to be so fucking popular oh yeah worth so much money my God it's like dick dick Nixon like Richard Nixon oh yeah that's right that's right very valuable tricky dick you can wear a Nixon t-shirt right now Nixon for president percent nobody would nobody would say oh yeah beat your ass know why I know people will beat your ass if you have a red hat with other white letters on it yeah just cause like there's a girl got mace in the face it she had a hat that said make Bitcoin great

► 01:36:51

someone didn't read it they just were like the reading it fuck you with your red hat with white letters a maester right in the face the video of it now I'm ignorant but has this happened for any other present where this kind of thing has like this someone wear shirts for another president that was kind of thing here no no no no this is number one crazy ride only that dude how about what it says make America great again who was like fuck you we don't want it to be great

► 01:37:15

fuck you it's just a representation of the context they just associate drop so they like that's it it's also again like make it great again like what well when was it great slavery was legal when was it great and civil rights Wars are going on one was a great yeah the phrase is inherently weak things are segregated when was it great name the great time what was it great when we first came here and we stole it from people you want it's great right now bitch yeah this is good as ever been it's not gonna get better than if you pay attention to like real Trends forget about how you feel like forget about like your own personal experience

► 01:37:45

you just look at objective Trends in terms of violence crime all the statistics that we're all really terrified about right there's never been a better time no there's never been a better time for Humanity but it's always going to be United States it's pretty goddamn good we always wear our best critic you know the fucking truck just went after Chicago again he just was making fun of my city because of the crime rate saying how we can't get it under control talking about the cops yeah cago cops yeah saying that that we can't get crime under control in Chicago

► 01:38:15

well he's probably making fun of the mayor in some way oh yeah blaming it on the mayor oh yeah that's what it is it's your favorite mayor yeah I love her well just easy to make fun of she was a nice lady though we just get shot Chicago got shots taken at it all the time because it's like they're like so fucking Duvall violence is like Snot all fucking violence well that's what's even more fucked about it's a very specific area that has had extreme violence for a long time South Side in the west side yeah it's dark

► 01:38:46

but then so much meanwhile Gary that when you have a place that like it's where it's isolated you know where there's just like so much violence there and then outside of it it's really nice like what but some of the nice areas were getting even like kids would do these things they do these mob attacks where they go like a really nice area like Michigan Avenue all the tourists aren't shit and they were just like Rob someone but maybe like 15 people on one you know so they knew that a they were gonna get away with it and be how could you start it's kind of so much cake as like organized chaos and they would run into a store and

► 01:39:15

steal shit and just leave because they figure you're not going to get all of us right it's like maybe one person gets caught but Rob from the rich you know it's all video of I don't know how many times have done it right now but groups of it's happened three times in California twice here somewhere else probably 200 people get on those scooters and just take over a street and then just go wherever they can go oh shit the cops are trying to stop them but there's so many people that can't stop the helicopters were on them so they organized online yeah like Facebook

► 01:39:45

sir something like that wow like what are those things called on what are those things called when people have like flash mobs flash pops flash mob for scooters I haven't seen anything dangerous happening but I mean I'm sure it's speaking of dangerous what do you think about what Trump did when that guy when they kill the head of Isis and he said he died crying and whimpering and then he watched the whole thing on video I'm like Jesus he's like a he's like a deranged comedy writer like he's like a fucked he like he like sometimes I think he's like trying to be funny or clever

► 01:40:16

and it I just don't it's like an autistic kid he just doesn't his tick as wrong with that just does not seem very presidential know that something has take his off I think he thinks it's normal or fun or or interesting or dynamic and people are like he has no one person next to him going to we is a twitching - that's the version that you want to say because he just I we talked about that on the plane is like the theory of how do you tell someone they're wrong when things have told them that they're right how do you tell the guy that's like I want Against All Odds to be going to present when someone's like

► 01:40:45

you shouldn't treat that he's like really look at all the fucking other stuff that you know what I mean like it's hard to convince this guy that he's wrong well if anybody feel right I'm not to do things he fires yeah they're gone yeah so it's just kind of like he's a bunch of Yes Men anyway he's treating the presidency the same way he treats running Trump Tower yeah but it's the same thing if I had been tells him what to do get the fuck out of here if I had yeah I'm just doing it on a large scale but do we expect differently that's what's weird like what would you expect different out of a guy who's 70 what is he 7411 know

► 01:41:15

how old are you mid-seventies yeah it's so old to be running a giant fucking thing like the presidency loves McDonald's baby doesn't loves McDonald's I know love's Kentucky Fried Chicken what's up

► 01:41:28

some right what was it's a semi 373 did you see the photo what about yesterday oh yeah the same so I'll be worse in this is a staged photo yeah looks it does not look Photoshop fuck yeah I liked all the things aren't plugged into the Cat 5 wires they're just kind of lay them around yeah all the guys are kind of looking in different directions fucking let that what kind of IT guy let that thing be so goddamn sloppy the what is this supposed to be a photo of them watching that happen because they're trying to compare it to the one that happened either

► 01:41:58

the Obama won when they kill Bin Laden and everyone's around the worm how weird is it they all watch that's funny there's a bunch of photos go down there's a bunch of Photoshopped ones that are coming out now they're making jokes of it there's Hulk Hogan Sarah Palin's in there and we saw videos it back we saw videos we going to Hulk Hogan check and down some guy to restaurant he was on crutches and some guy must have said something fucking stupid to him and he walked up to him and he was giving him the whole like

► 01:42:28

like like like I'm a personality but I'll still bust your like that's what I like about guys like that that I like you know I'm famous and like you know it's you can be like cute and Mahalo and safer by like talk shit and I'll still fuck you up like Hulk Hogan will fuck you up he's a big fella he's a we're telling it we're saying that he lost like 3 plus inches of height because of all of his back operations because they removed all of his discs and fuse them all together so all the cushion in between his disks are all gone it's fucking nuts all the spinal columns are all smooshed

► 01:42:58

gather and bolted down and so many different places and that's all from pro wrestling match yeah so hard on you but does take such a toll on their fucking body as much as I think it's still goofball bullshit oh my God it's so hard physically so hard fish well that's why Dallas Page created DDP Yoga no I mean he really created that just to strengthen his spine and rehabilitate himself from all the injuries that he heard during pro wrestling he's the shit he's a good dude has a great dude I just think like that fucking workout is hard as shit you see like in shape dudes

► 01:43:27

trying it online and they're struggling hard yeah fucking hard man look yoga's hard and his yoga is particularly intense because he adds a lot of dynamic tension to it in right and you know that guy's mean he's in his 60s and he came here and he was doing some yoga poses like grabbing ahold of his ankle and lifting it up over his head he's in fucking tremendous shape I've never done yoga once it's great I know people say it's good I don't know I didn't I don't want to do hot I don't know hot I'm scared you know no scared I don't want one I'm gonna try

► 01:43:58

and five miles and then will ya fucking dick so Kiryu how I'm sure your hearts best way to Jamie the best way because you stretch out better you just ganging up on me right now plus it's good for your body because it develops heat shock proteins that mimic what it's like being an analyst regular yoga fine yeah it's good okay we'll do that then why don't you do hot yoga why don't we reg do regular you want to do hot yoga because I'm scared I don't want to be the guy in hurry did 15 of them in a month season workout he takes our he's a dosis you're going to trust a guy that dose

► 01:44:27

his people trust him while he went dos me he's my friend it's okay something to say that's a birthday but next time I say something he does he does bird because he's a fucking he told me about local person says he felt he could get away with it huh I'll do okay I'll do it it was a lapse in judgment that he has since apologized for now I know I love them I'm kidding how about this I'll do hot yoga if you come play basketball with me and Jamie I will do that but basketball is hard on the joints man all that side to side motion come on come on baby street basketball or and of course we're going to be we're going to do what we play basketball with him because I

► 01:44:57

tough what will do anyone or some will do 21 yeah smoke him yeah I don't know how to play basketball terrible I know but that's fun I don't know how to yoke I'm Tara I'll be all look like a clown doing this shit you got competition it won't really be that competitive how well do you play you play good well yeah it'll be fun fun for you this is the same yoga shit I don't know I'm gonna do this how we do Jujitsu first okay and then we'll see if you can play yoga okay that's fine okay yeah that's right heel hooks

► 01:45:29

let's do yoga that okay I just I'll do I'll do the hot yoga you know the complete 21 I mean I won't win you know what the problem is with yoga for me for real me can fucking sink some three-pointers I don't even know if you know how good Jamie is the video I can feel it doing jump shots just swish catches the ball swish dude yeah dude Anna no really now I bet Jamie's smokes You Fifth in the city I got all my money on young Jamie okay good

► 01:45:58

how much how much you tell me we go here we go here we go baby how about put up that coin about $1,000 okay okay okay okay what's the ghetto we doing we plan I'm not one-on-one we're playing we're doing okay let's play hope you guys can play horse okay I got $1,000 on him I'm can't wait to film it

► 01:46:17

Jamie you in no fortunate death yeah he's are you getting smoked okay then we'll do Home Run Derby I'm gonna spend that thousand bucks I'll take us all out to dinner okay whatever is left I'll give to the waiter okay good friend I'm in all right I can't wait what should we film it we gotta go yeah we should where do we do it though I don't know Staple Center we should make a basketball court next door we could do it we have we might have a little bit of sweet it's a couple of feet right there's plenty of room mad because I told you want to do a pool show and I've

► 01:46:47

talking about this Jamie I've been talking about this for how many years now all of them that I've ever had seven we filmed a few times like one time we filmed Fitzsimmons and I playing pools fun he's good at all right yeah for to me it's like yeah who's the who's the best that you played Artie Lange Artie Lange can play yeah you can yeah you can play you can play play yeah you can he doesn't have like so some guys are good at pocketing balls right you know I mean some guys are good at moving the ball around

► 01:47:17

don't know any comedians that are really good at moving the ball around well that would that positioning you have to have a stroke like meaning can you draw the ball full table length I know right no comedians other than myself that can do that no comedians other than myself that I've actually played in real tourneys you know and I don't play that good now but when I was playing a lot I could play I was like a be player you know be level player Village it be lever player like I've run for racks in a row of nine Mall broken ran for racks in a row I've run

► 01:47:47

70 plus balls playing straight pool that's not like we're class not professional level but I'm like a legit what they would call shortstop yeah yeah and what's already is around that same level no no he's a little lower than lower than yeah but he play Dahmer are can play a little bit Adam Ferrara can play Adam really yeah he plays pretty good yeah why don't you do a poll show I should do a poll show and why not here's the thing how do you make it entertaining I mean it all just naturally will be

► 01:48:17

maybe you just talking shit playing pool having fun yeah maybe we'd have to give people wired mics and we would have to yeah I mean it could be funny it can be fun Absalon but I mean how many people can play how many people can legit I would have to bring here's one thing that I could do they'll be fun bring in prose and just get stomped that would be funnin ya to watch them do tricks on us read it on you girl Pros in have them stop me yeah and you know what's that Asian woman Richard in the Black Widow Jeanette Lee She's

► 01:48:47

fucking awesome she's very good but she's not the best no she's not stretch the imagination now she's really good but she's had some severe also severe back problems had scoliosis a bunch of back surgeries but she's you know she's way better than me yeah she's like she's legit could have Pro be able to teach a comedian well enough to compete against you and takes long time and I just was like you know that's like it's like golf it takes years it would take years like I could not play for a year like

► 01:49:17

like like you can take a person that doesn't know how to play and they could play every day for a year and I'll still crush them it just why don't you want to play golf because I'm scared it's such a specific wonderful you would love I know that's why I don't want to play it yeah you should I have a real problem with games I can't oh he would he would fucking love go like you'd be two rounds before every show you guys go anywhere but like running out of time and I would love that yeah it's Ron White is the fucking King he loves it

► 01:49:47

if we could his Instagram it's always pictures are no you know two shows tonight right now I'm playing golf do it's right up your alley the specifics the technique the it's so rich looks like exactly what you like not interested

► 01:50:00

it's one more thing on your plate that's all many things and it also takes a lot of time golf takes time you don't play 18 holes yeah shoot it takes hours now you would take it you would just start with nine is what you would do okay how many hours is that to you can do it in under two if you walk in it takes long again that cart you can you can play speed golf do you can knock out nine holes in an hour and 25 minutes really yes absolutely especially if you don't suck too all right sock that's a problem now but when you're especially learn yeah I know dude I'm obsessed right now with handguns okay yeah

► 01:50:29

Millsaps right now doing tactical ranges sadist yeah but I got to back off a little bit so I wanted to go every day yeah but why is that bad because it's fucking crazy I'm crazy I can't I can't throw gas on the fucking dry twigs and throw a match and run away I can do you do you do you do take something out when you add something in or is it just piling and piling people get in the way of my writing I get in the way of you know whatever the fuck it is yeah see I find when I play I've when I golf it's my favorite time to think

► 01:50:59

your heads clear your in nature there's nothing going on right and you trying to knock that ball and the whole point of good golfers will tell you that your head should you shouldn't be like having a million thoughts about you should be kind of fluid and in the moment a little bit so that's like the best play you can play sounds like hot yoga again I'm gonna do it I'm gonna do it hot yoga definitely takes I'm gonna do it but it's in the middle of it I want to bail I'm going to bail can't bail pussy it's not pussy it's just I don't want I don't want to sit in this hot why does it have to be hot because it's hard makes it difficult

► 01:51:29

called it's not just your will it's more it still feels annoying I don't like hot stuff I don't like hot rooms what about hot food I like spicy food what about a hot coffee I like ice better this is that old theories like would you rather be cold all the time or hot all the time I'd always rather be cold I'll be hot take hot see ya you what would you take what depends on how hot I don't want a hundred and twenty I don't want my plane it would rather live in Alaska all year round or in fucking in by the equator all year round

► 01:52:00

would you rather live in Phoenix Arizona or are or even secret great yeah it is and then the in the summertime you just find a place with a see I lived there it was it's awful in the summer it's the it's a hundred twenty is too much it gets rough but the winner is amazing yeah it's beautiful but I'd rather be in Winter a lot more than in summer a lot more like to crank a hotel room up or down because that's a big difference oh dude it went to my hotel stay at like when it goes you know like six whatever can go down below its yeah

► 01:52:29

the low as it can go so you like being called the free I wanted freezing but look at you you're like cold climate person because I run but I'm running hot white skin you run I run hot a mad who your man on top here are always drunk throwing up everywhere you'll get on the plane that's what it was I was blacked out I Bly just drinking that morning I just lied I didn't go to bed puking on a fucking plane by the way for those that know puking on a plane is is exactly as uncomfortable as you would fucking imagine it do you bring your own golf clubs on the road you

► 01:52:58

Purdue that a lot of times if I'm going to a place I know I'm going to play golf that's when it gets crazy no why yeah crazy if or or or if it's a nice and of course I just will rent their clubs from them all they have good clubs and nice course always has a good set of clubs yeah shitty courses have but I'm not playing any I'm playing nice courses if I'm gonna go and play that's a good move yeah that way you don't have to worry about it well do it FedEx does ship sticks and all this stuff they like a ship sticks it's a there's a there's places that take your clubs they shave him

► 01:53:29

in there there when you get there causton it's that's a good move awesome yeah they don't have to think about it that's a good move because like when you get on a plane that's fucking massive pain in the ass bugging the shit around us no no shipping them is way easier check things and get away tit fuck that baggage claim and hope they didn't fuck with your club but I get used to it like when I first no boards I have to bring my fucking snowboard everywhere because you don't want to ship that oh yeah I rent skis I always ask easy I don't like rental shit because it's been a but I have my own boots but I rent skis

► 01:53:58

these skis are skis yeah I guess I guess I've stopped anyway like I'm not a good skier you're not know is anybody in your family good yeah my kids are way better than me they're good yeah they're better than me my 11 year old she always wants to go to the fucking black diamonds it's awesome she's a little Daredevil and you will go with her fuck that hell yeah I love that no I go rip she does jumps and shit fucked up well yeah she's eleven sheet but at some point she'll quit 80 pounds I mean not even fly through the fuck 70 yeah she flies

► 01:54:29

flies and lands but when you go skiing do what do you stay on the easy he'll safe yeah he's carving knife things off I don't like skiing I do it because they like it you don't like it no oh God I feel so fucking good I love it this is why I go don't get hurt don't get hurt don't get hurt did you get hurt the whole times hurt don't get hurt like this fucking asshole Jesus Christ cut right in front of me because some dickwads there's always like some l a douche yeah it's just a just a little too cocky without Yang and just a little too into it and probably on Adderall just fucking with his way down this

► 01:55:00

yeah yeah it is not he's got its listener at the more I the older I get when I go do it the more scared I am because of how fast people are going now like dumb people are those stop in the middle of the trail and fix their ski I go off to the side dipshit to what two seasons ago I had I almost lost it on this poor kid I came over this hill and I you can't see on the other side and he was laying down because he had fallen and he was crying and I'm coming over this little lip and I'm panicking

► 01:55:28

middle of the air and him oh my god I think I'm going to kill him dude oh my snowboard is fucking imagine I think I'm going to slice his face open and I'm moving my weight through the air as I'm falling and I eat shit I mean I eat shit and then I throw my shit off and I grab this kid by the jacket and I like throw him a little bit probably like seven or eight you know what I mean was seven or eight oh yeah dude because I'm up yeah I kicked the shit out of their little fucking bitch would you do I put him in a fucking headlock I see fucking bitch say Santino's the best

► 01:55:58

now but I threw him onto the side I was like dude you cannot be there you're going to get you're going to get hurt like he could have gotten finally seven he doesn't know any better but I know dude but that's why I'm like don't be on this side of the hill but that's the problem is I kids go on tough runs and they don't know what they're doing yeah that is a problem you get hurt bad I mean he could have got skis and someone's gonna come in here just like no one it's not like like when you go on a blue or green no one tells you hey you're not ready for a green and let me see your certificate yeah you should have a license to do it yeah okay do it and he just

► 01:56:28

watch this lady each yet I could see it I was like oh my God she's not supposed to be here boom boom that's how you know when you go to Colorado or you go to a resort and you see a guy on the Gondola and are going up to the top lift with jeans on I'm always like I'm gonna follow this guy for he's awesome that was he's not gonna crack fucking rare possible most those guys don't have to wear jeans maybe he's like listen I'm not fucking crash let's go skiing with jeans with jean jacket jeans jeans with Jack on

► 01:56:58

over the gene yeah yeah let's do it I don't mind skiing but I don't like doing it too much it's just I know so many people that have torn their ACL broken re broke his wrist one year and the year before that he broke his ankle a must be fucking bad I think he's Reckless yeah he's Reckless a wild person he wants to do he wants to push it all the way to the lobby on drugs do with being that's yes I was just going to say that's the other problem with hills like now people are so fucked up now people also get so drunk and go skiing yeah like midday

► 01:57:28

drinking up at the top of the mountain I mean you know how much I like drinking I don't do it yeah because I'm like I'm not getting drunk and going down a fucking Hill and then what if I if what if I hurt someone and I'm drunk no I don't want to do it yeah but you see people at those mid he'll let mid Hill like that logic dude let's chugging beer no one stops you nope no one stops you from that no one stops you from taking mushrooms Reverend Aubrey takes mushrooms for skis that's crazy maybe does better I'll take my share of after we ski back at the house maybe took a

► 01:57:58

a little bit and you'll be better maybe a tiny bit I'll take a little hit I'll take I'll get i'll get a little high but like I can't get I don't want to get fucked up and feel like I'm not in control when I play pool hi I'm better I'm like one ball better yeah do you think it's a performance-enhancing drug on a percent it is huh yeah so what do you think about its way in professional sports Jutsu as well it is for jujitsu what about like compact like what about basketball and baseball and so I don't play basketball but I would imagine it's similar to pool and then it's a feel thing like feeling where the ball goes you have a certain sensitivity

► 01:58:28

it should be illegal for professional sports no no I don't think it should be illegal because it's like it doesn't make you faster or stronger I think those are the things that should make you illegal but it I think you could be just as focused without it but for certain people to enhances your focus it kind of gives you tunnel vision so that that but I mean that's why I'm saying that's the argument is they say that could be an advantage I could see that it I could see you would say it it's an advanced I feel like it I am better at Jujitsu when I'm high I really do believe that I can perform better yes I performed I feel

► 01:58:58

better I feel like a more intuitive I understand positions better understand where I'm going better you ever lift weights hi yes and you know it's funny I hate running high like a lot of people like to get high and run love it no see I get I I can lift weights high but running High I don't it's not my favorite yeah Yoga Yoga hi oh my God okay so that makes more sense it's the best you feel like every fiber of your muscles you feel things stretching you fear War where you're pushing too hard like where things are starting to pop

► 01:59:29

you feel it yeah you're bound to Russ good like the runner's high I get from running alone I just feel like it's it's own kind of like wonderful little drug right but lifting because they're because I'm such an add guy that lifting is easily distractible you know you're like there's so much to do in the gym and so many you're like what am I doing next I feel it like when I'm doing chin-ups on Omaha I just feel no yeah I know I like it I like lifting hi there just baked out of your fucking mind oh what's the one thing you won't do hi

► 01:59:58


► 02:00:02

oh commentate on UFC have you done it before yes and you were high and if I you finally like it I don't like it did you eat shit no I didn't but I this is my worry I've never done it really high My worry is that I wouldn't want to talk about the fights I want to talk about other things it just turned into this and we just started talking boring fight look it's first of all it would be extremely disrespectful if while these people who have dedicated months of their life and years or Life Training and preparing and here they are on the UFC and I barely paid attention

► 02:00:32

if I'm right yeah it's I'm subject to not pay attention from high I get that from hi I'm I could pay attention to the fucking lighting I'd be like how weird is it this lighting thing is above our head it's like a thousand pounds and never even thought about it yeah it could fall asleep in an accident how many people have died I'd be like how many people have died from lighting to be like Joe there's a fight going on right now I know I know but fights going on all the time PC is like thank you for the lighting tips Joe we're going right back to the fight people would be angry yeah they legitimately so it's a dick move that's that like that's that they're like certain people

► 02:01:02

will can be really baked on stage I can be a little high but I can't get too high and get on stage I don't like it like I just feel like my performance lacks it's really weird writing like the other side of it is enjoyable hi like I love creating and writing and making high but performing High not my failure words the best to be super high huh that stand up on the spot show Jeremiah Watkins show oh yeah well yes Bo let's greet was all improv at all for a complete improvisation high as a kite but that's because it's a it's almost like a

► 02:01:32

win-win for that thing is like even if you're not really coming up with like right shit that you you're still in the moment of fun although it isn't it moving from yeah and when you're there for performin Fireball you're doing a fucking Arena no can't no way that I mean we do we've gotten a little high before big yeah but I can I can't get it I can't get ripped it off I'm ripped I'm not focused I well I've gotten ripped like the most ripped I've ever gotten before podcast in the early days of pain

► 02:02:02

podcasting we were talking about this the other day and I would be in the middle of talking not knowing what the fuck I was talking about yeah and I'd like wait a minute that's all right what what am I saying what am I even saying it was so many podcasts if I look back on these cringey moments of things that I said I was like I was so high I barely knew what I was talking about right it was the number is your number accurate for how many this is yes with there were pretty close or where their numbers I got lost in the Matrix like things like podcasts on a plane that I don't think wow we're in the number group

► 02:02:32

the number was probably like 15 ish that don't have numbers and then the Phi companions didn't get numbers what's the number at what do we access 1371 you know what you talked about that we never went through with but I don't know what city we were in what we talked about doing it from one of those cool fucking buses yes that van or whatever yeah Sprinter Van Der Beek that's what they're called well we talked about Jamie and I talked about this too it was getting a sprinter van and doing it up in the inside like a podcast to here and then taking it to gigs so like save you and I did a gig

► 02:03:02

in Irvine right we'd hire a driver Jamie be in the back working the fucking the controls and dry all microphones and cameras and we're drive down to Irvine and it works so much better now that the shows not live anymore right it will be easy to do because you would just compress it all into a video file and then upload it I still think we should do that we could totally do know we should do that we should get like three or four Comics to go do like a big thing in Vegas yes and we take the drive to Vegas and make us you know like do it like a podcast from there to Vegas like a four-hour drive and

► 02:03:32

do all four five us and for hours if everything goes great sure yeah sure but even still I think it's a great drive and then you can edit and cut it down and then get the Vegas show the show and then whatever yeah and we could do it safe to we could actually have seatbelts yeah you know and I'm still have a pocket all legit but you can get those Sprinter vans man this companies that design them they do whatever you want out right I mean they can't even put a screen up like that where Jamie can like throw to a screen and we can look at stuff but we would have to have some kind of an internet connection while we're in there well don't they have those

► 02:04:02

you know those you cuz I can buy a dog shit are they yeah the DirecTV's good you can get real DirecTV in those things but your internet really slow what do you think you can buy those from like eight from the from the phone companies that the little tiny pods that you as you go can get some cellular internet connection and I think Chuck the our audio guy was telling us that we can they can combine two or three cellular signals

► 02:04:32

and up the bandwidth so maybe we could stream YouTube on a television show if you're in a place other your phone so you have separate ones yeah you would get separate ones that are dedicated and you get the correct yeah there's companies that have it set up so you can have like a backpack for like people that I call IRL streamers that walk around and stream all right switches back to us what's going on presidents that's the guy they're listening is it was no don't go to the whatever antennas working the best at the time you're there and it'll just like tell

► 02:05:02

our yeah but if you're in a place that has nothing you have nothing but if we you know drive to Vegas is pretty good most of the way I think this is easy because they because it's so true heavy traffic that if it's cell phone most of the way oh yeah oh yeah and like the 405 your head down like we had a gig in Irvine or something like that you'd be able to like a trip up north to San Francisco would be fucking awesome yeah yeah well that's a long drive rather fly yeah I guess that's true or let's take a private jet and do it on it dude

► 02:05:32

like Tommy Segura he's taken private jets all over the place he's hashtag balling balling dude is born selling them everywhere yeah he's over serious look it's amazing Bert Kreischer is making fucking crazy money now yeah looking thin sex getting thin and sexy baby yeah everybody's bartering it oh speaking of which you got a fucking theater to her I got a small theater tour yeah the red rocket or 2020 baby I've got your date's long night no want to do Converse North yep two shows I'm there whoo

► 02:06:02

see ya heard here bitches yeah tomorrow like counts doing it with us okay nevermind I want to do with the money he's a shy come on yeah I'm doing my first small theater to Man rocket 2020 tour Edmonton Denver Minneapolis Madison Bakersfield Detroit doing the Fox Theater in Bakersfield shit what I'm doing Acres filled oh knocking great yeah it's cool it's awesome there's a theater of their mm Beggars feel it's awesome Detroit Atlanta Chicago Cincinnati Cleveland Portland Seattle Miami

► 02:06:32

West Palm Beach and Phoenix tickets now at Andrew Santino.com I'm around dude I've got a couple of dates left here that I'm doing the rest of the your November I've got some stuff that I'm doing now but yeah this that they fucking my the two people that I work with did this for me it's fucking incredible right we'll put that up on Instagram but yeah we get out of here get out see what they'll ban e let's wrap this bitch yeah baby Santino.com for all your Santino needs and Pleasures my brother find problems thank you my fun times this weekend to yes it's fucking awesome it'll be better next time because I won't be so bad yeah so bright

► 02:07:02

sober today we have so close to three solid days left hang in there you fucks bye-bye thank you everybody for tuning into the show and thank you to our sponsors thank you too honey if you are buying holiday gifts this holiday season you need honey and if you're not buying them well you probably know somebody who is so do them a solid and tell them about honey honey can help make sure that you're getting the best price for whatever you're buying it's free to use at it installs in just two clicks get honey for free

► 02:07:32

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► 02:09:17

adjust to live been thank you friends thanks for tuning into the show much love to you all bye-bye and big kiss