#1207 - Jeff Ross & Dave Attell

Nov 27, 2018

Jeff Ross is a comedian, writer, producer, and director, also known as the “Roastmaster General.” Dave Attell is a stand-up comedian, writer and actor. Their new special "Bumping Mics " is streaming now on Netflix.

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ladies and gentleman right on Netflix right now to bumping Mike's I was going to try to remember Mike's with Dave Attell and Jeff Ross the to Guess that I have in my studio today they have a new special it's a three-part special that's labeled Friday Saturday and Sunday for three different shows they did they're doing these really wild fun improv shows where they get on stage together in the riff off of each other and I'm here it's fucking hilarious I haven't seen it but I've seen these guys perform and young Jamie loves it right and he said Gilbert Godfrey's champion of the world which everybody so that is out right now Christina pazsitzky has two things out right now mother inferior I kept calling Mother Superior a fuck that up its mother inferior that's on Netflix and then she has a new one which one of the degenerate specials Joey Diaz also has a degenerate special

and I have a special out now on Netflix My Moment that's actually my third I did want a 2005 but my second in a row in two years and it's it's called strange times and that's available right now to okay I can't wait to watch I have not seen it

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The Joe Rogan Experience

something I like about the fact you can smoke in here yeah I like the people can be relaxed you know the underground right cuz it's got like a cabaret old like on those still on the books I believe I learned that from Dice while he was on stage well they just can't get away with it right here at Dave's always smoking on stage I don't smoke anymore but I'll tell you one thing that that year in between like where you're not allowed to smoke on stage that was a tough year cuz you used to like smoking in the crowd smoking and you know it was like

we're on the road and we do like an hour and a half I'll pretend he's getting a phone call or something I go smoke and leave me on stage by myself now you hear that Joe didn't really hear in the whole story behind the pumping Mike behind the pumping mic on stage just fulfilled the nicotine fix or does it actually give you something cuz they say it I've I've smoked a cigar smoke one of Tony Hinchcliffe cigarettes a couple of times before I went on stage and you get like up a pick me up there's a little something you get like an enhancement. I'll say right now it definitely is a weakness that like you know now I don't drink don't do anything but like coffee and cigarettes it's like it's breathing for me but it does focus it helps Focus

with Nicodemus non-users tobacco and are the shit they used once company Hollywood Sports on these are my favorite Charlie Murphy got me into these things back in the day we get those Swisher Sweets and you would tear me apart and then you put the weed inside of it and roll it up old school and then Chappelle got me and do it again because I smoke one with him one day at the back of the, storms like damn this is a weird high what is the like to get a buzz like you're a little bit high but you're also a little bit Buzzy from the from the tobacco

well I like it my fan whatever it takes to make the drugs fly bro whatever they were up, and I'll take like one hit of weed right before we go on we meet in the middle one hits good one Happy for a long time yeah you feel like I'd like one more but move that's a dangerous dangerous decision to stay a little nervous but coffee will get my brain work in just a little bit quicker than the audiences did you guys do this one time as a goof and then start touring with it or did you just put the idea that made you decide to work together like this all start out just late night at The Comedy Cellar where you know I'd be on stage and I would just see Jeff in the room and I would bring him up and then we would just you know like

Throwdown baby so I can have a great time and you know we kept doing it and doing it and people actually would you know like they wanted to see if it came like this kind of like you guys going to go up together they would always ask are you guys going to get the next Mike going you know how come when I not even when I started but in the last few years I come back to New York have an apartment in Greenwich Village near The Comedy Cellar you know it's like cheers everyone knows your name you you land your you go to the go to my Empty Apartment I'll go let's see who's at the seller get something to eat and I had to start booking My Flights right land around midnight David would inevitably have the 1 a.m. spot and I would I just want to get my ya-ya's out and he would just bring me up and he'd sit by the piano and I would goof off or I sit by the piano and he would tell jokes we started seeing each other up and it organically are friends on and popping up with us or people from the audience or whatever bachelorette party

it was like it was a lot of fun like in the beginning especially cuz it was like you know you really kept me on my toes like listening is like the hardest thing listening on stage you know you control all facets of of the performance but when there's another person up there special we have so many different skill sets so like it was really cool to like work off of them they brought up my game but it definitely made me quicker and faster and funnier to have to like you know we were pretty much roll with it and I think that the crowd was like a different energy than just straight up like a showcase you know you wouldn't normally do on stage which is look at someone else and it took me a long time and I think I could be a Millionaire on looking at each other like a couple catch that ball

it's like it's like what we connect now instead of doing like in tandem one at a time jokes we do drugs together that's how you see Twins or twins in one guy do the setup and the other guy hoping for that one day you know to Headliners get together by choice not by necessity yeah it took a lot Dave did not want to go to Montreal we went up to the Comedy Festival basically begged them yeah and it's just like a fun thing to do you know it was just like a cool like basically like just let it all hang out but Jeff saw like I guess the next step to it so I always just thought it was something to do if the comics want to see it that bad and then more and more comics want to come on stage with us and then more and more

like Jim Carrey came to one of our shows in Montreal and and and and and and all the headline of soda pop it up with us and I thought this is more than just us as a hobby like this is something that no one else is really doing I got really into it really quick and I tried to call it bumping Mike's and they was like no title we don't have any other structure to wash oh by the way we don't rehearse he has a flip phone I can't even talk to him before the show we don't have any plan whatsoever why I'm trying to stay off the grid dude you saw me with the sword in front of the flag I'm ready to go I'm ready I'm ready to be activated this title for it is really a good producer at all those different things all the skills that I don't have I used to do I was like we should have like really

Workshop some other names like I like to Costello is looking for an Abbott

Nichols and may I say there aren't but the thing is that like we're not really a team like we get together it's like this kind of like almost like you're not like within 48 hours were a team again you know it's always really difficult rock out in certain situations. M Casino I think we are one of the best casino X I'll tell you right now I think we really are I think at a casino we take it to the level that needs to be for like you don't like one of those electric three times as my default it's true about casinos right

we have a serious I might have a filter up but he is fearless he really is all playing at The Hustler Casino yeah that's our best one dude I love that one the other one it's an old steel mill Casino in Bethlehem Church Road shutesbury Road gigs in Oklahoma Run Casino Oklahoma

speed limits is that cool they just had to impose speed limits within the last decade or two because the federal government does it look when I going to fix your fucking roads icy tell people that can't go a hundred fifty miles that's Montana though it says that Oklahoma's fucking amazing it's like right on the border of Texas and you know Seinfeld plays there Thackerville yeah Seinfeld places are roughly the science man you know fly-in fly-out that kind of thing you know where's my daddy where's the local fair I still kind of love that go places

so that's what we do it this year cuz we're both little older now we we really eat that's what we do we really like I'm enjoying it you like steaks and Night lyrics to Wild Willy's Adventure I need to set up a Kitchen near cook for you guys if you really what does it taste like in in the meat scale looking a little bit more unusual better than venison slowly on a pellet grill and then I see red on the outside of the end

Kennedy probably caught it with his own hands Studio but it's like it's a scam other skills like how do you do this stuff on my brain is if I have a bunch of difficult shit that I do all the time that's how my brain works you know everybody has their own weird tank I can't guess I need to be exhausted by just for your brain itself against me that needs shit to do on a really difficult eyes are playing tricks on myself both both mental and physical

when was up at 6:30 kids go to school there they're leaving the house by 7 to take the dog running I'm gone for 2 hours then I can come back get a bunch of shit done at the house then come over here and hang out with you guys for a few hours then I'm going to lift then I'm going to go to the store and do a couple sets have a good time works really good with me with families that most of stuff I'm doing either while my kids are at school or while my kids are asleep so by the time I leave I have a 10 by the store dirty sleep they go to bed at like 8:38 and 10 so it's at like 6:30 they go to bed at like 8:30 and I'm so that's perfect time for me last time he just quit something in the middle like what a bit

come back to me in a couple of weeks or a couple months or years beginning of a bit and then let us go and then that's a good thing with Jeff is that like I know we both bring material up on stage but I think it's the stuff that just comes to us like that you know in the moment stuff especially with the audience that's the stuff that I really think you know we should give a shout out to Andrew the director of course capturing all that Jeff's friend who is now one of the best directors out there man he really really you know once again I was Jeff choice in the he did the job and then some of me and it's so good the way he put it all together you know it's more than just you guys going on stage with a bunch of other stuff Happening by 3 episode series docu-series so I don't know if you saw the Jinx on HBO about Robert Durst

Andrew jarecki directed that he also directed capturing the friedmans years ago with an oscar-nominated documentary what was that about that was about a family of convicted actually child molester math science teachers in Long Island Father and Son who's dated in this crazy controversy Who would know her moves but yet have the experience and doesn't like anybody that's too hip I just want it I want it I like it straight ahead picture I like it straight ahead and I and I also think some of these comedy specials are over direct inside in line at 4 instead of lanterns

of the humor that could happen to him but he was cool I really would I really like it a lot of things outside of I know my wheelhouse you know it's a collaboration which isn't causing you not used to doing when you do your own special like you know you like how I want to do it this way I've been doing it this way and I want it that way we have other voices in the room and you know other ideas and you know you got to like pretty much matched it together and do something that you know pretty much I guess it captures the spirit of it and also like hopefully the funny of it and now it looks cool and he also understood our personalities in our friendship you know I've been chasing Dave my whole career I always an open mic or I would go watch David you know I always thought like no one's going to make it in our crew until Dave makes it day was always the one that everybody came to watch

even when Ray Romano was popping on TV he would go down to watch Dave Attell riff and you know my first TV spot was a 7 hour train ride with Canada in 01 were really young and pepper three versions of the story Joe what's the first version take a train from Hamilton Ontario I'm just saying I gave is my favorite comic I consider you out a little bit but no I see you I see Jeff is like Beyond unique like there's nobody like him and what he does and what he is able to do is really it's really it's not only fun to watch but it's really like

get out you're a self-starter he's a self-starter like it's great to see self-starters who find success because it really is difficult to like take something and like make it not only financially successful but also like something that we all respect and love you know and that's you know I take the roasting thing that Jeff really pretty much as rebranded until like you know every every every possible way you can do it is always good because he's behind it you know what it's not when it's not like I'm not so sure because other people are really good at it too but I'm just saying that you know will scream out the car door it's roastmaster I mean like you know I had my Insomniac time but he like 20-30 times at in terms of like recognition I mean it's just amazing it is where the year are synonymous with roasts yeah you know I mean like if people say roast they think Jeff Ross

I stopped by and said no it's alternative comedy no one's doing it I get to I get to hang with Legends like Buddy Hackett of Milton burrow you know and I stuck to it because there was a there was a time where I was like embarrassed I go I'm going to be pigeonholed as the roast guy cuz you're like I want to be more than that this is probably 10 years ago and I was in Vegas Chappelle again words of wisdom he's like dude that's your lane make that up 5 Lane Highway and ride it and that's kind of what we started what I started doing so I didn't really owning it and loving it and to the credit of the world as we became more pussies in the world like roasting became more and more potent and important in the world needs to develop thick skin and I think roasting Waters people

stomach love but it also kind of toughen us up a little bit

well I get two of the time when I came back to the comic store first thing I came back to watch was roast battle and I had really no I'd heard but I didn't really know where it was right and I remember that night I remember that really well because I remember thinking holy shit this is so mean the club The Improv sure that's a little bit like he went back up Tesla went down and then it went out really went down 6% then went up 9 to Studio still smells a little musty but that night when I walked in there I remember thinking this is a joke writing thing this isn't just a simple as the art of the info yeah it's but it's it's it's joke right

and one of things I love about roast battle is how Moses makes everybody hug at the end of it it's it's very cool

I started judging it and people are pushing each other and screaming at each other and I wrote the rules of roast battle original material only

no physical contact that scary and every battle ends with a puck I've seen that with some rap battles of guys punch each other in the face rap battles with the way more mean version of roast battle at the girls fucking guys I've seen some just a horrible horrible shit people say to each other and Moses like he owns that that that that are the fact that he can week after week make that work such a good-hearted sweet person you hadn't been at the comic store new years and years and years and years and I don't know all the details and it never really was part of part of my

you asked me about Rose Bower somebody started asking me about it in front of you when I saw you getting curious and you get more curious if you were maybe a little homesick for Uno's go jump in my car you like I'll meet you there and you set up on the balcony where the judges sit and you haven't been in the belly room in 5 years maybe who knows 7 years and you're sitting there and Moses does a double-take and he's too afraid he doesn't know what to do because I really know you you haven't been back there and back after a long time say hi to Joe raw intro and I've been in that room for roast battle I never heard anything on main room and it was it that was it you've even back every day since back to me cuz all he was filming his Comedy Central special there the next night

I love him I really love of his special let me just go there a day early someone third day early cutting roast battle on Comedy Central and Dillon shirtless does one of the greatest entrances I've ever seen anybody take on stage and he fucking murder 2 I mean he was on fire last night

it's like the art of the insult you might not be the strongest headlining but if you can put five jokes together why is it that some people excel at that like especially young Comics but they can't seem to figure out a way to generate that kind of energy during regular set I think I think that's really what prices they're moment till I throw all in but you know, like you guys is at The Comedy Store from back in the day before the first battling to do the rest Paddock like an amazing difference I remember walking in there and it was like a haunted house you know you're like where is everybody what's going on you know 12 tourists in around me that a bunch of comics in the back and then after the rose by like the energy you could just see it just went out like through the roof look just like it was the place to hang and like

when you're in town you want to go by the store and just check it out and let go on stage and you know the crowds there became way better and I think that you were part of that of like really help free energizing that club is a different place even Lil Rel howery said there's no other comedy competition with other Comics come to watch true and their friends are retarded there's a fraternity comedian I feel like we're in a weird way like I meet comedians from all over the world and I feel like I know them my whole life and roast battle was sort of a corny thing that nobody really understood the roasting I could even try out roast jokes I first started it was like so mean if I was standing with a piece of paper

you were doing that one night at The Improv I'm trying to remember who you were practicing for people are people that would be at the roasted be dying fright are to put yourself in that roast mine's like when you go to see the Rosemont and it's like going to see a fight go see a fight you can handle the fact that fight was going on but if you just show up at the movies and two people start head kicking each other can agree to fix it if we just know it's going to take place in advance

is there strategy involves it's not just jokes is like you're trying to disarm someone's material towards you maybe like sometimes guys will go at themselves first and then go out to their opponent like in the same joke but it's very smart so they were the strategies you have your report ready and you know there's all kinds of other little things like maybe don't mention the obvious thing till the end and then you're going to be sure yeah yeah I want to give too many secrets away but better roast battles battle if you will figure all this stuff out and you'll five jokes I mean it's not easy no it's not easy if you trip or stumble can you recover Tony Hinchcliffe the goddamn assassin if that shit

that mother fucker he's an assassin at roast he's got a evil little black spot in his heart and he likes to open up whenever those roast come out those jokes are vicious and clean tight but it's not if you can do that also and it's like like I said it's an art yes that's also the skill of joke writing which is like in today's world of more storytelling and all that kind of stuff that it's it's it's few and far between when you actually see like somebody could put together a couple of jokes in a row that was a great run you know if I can everybody has one good joke and then maybe a couple of tax but like to actually have a great and that's the thing that always excites me about, TN when will tell you like when we work together he'll go what new stuff they have and I will just throw it up there and like I'll try and you know basically work it out on stage cuz I

it's not like one of my own bits like a form bit yet it's like something that I can work with him and that's fun to that also like open your mind to a whole other world of like joke writing and yeah we start we were amazed difficult we always start by talking about each other they looks like an Umpire during a rain delay I'm actually wearing the same stuff right now I special Jeff mix it up with this easier for me but I do I do creep it up why do some of you still didn't answer about the flip phone why do you have a flip phone but it's just I don't know I don't really like technology I don't like the web I feel like you know there's something about the virtual experience in the live experience at like we're really in that world now

like coming to see someone live is getting harder and harder but like all your Clips on on YouTube you know so I don't know why not me if there's any reason for that at all it's definitely not you're at your act as if in contact if you were connected more the internet more people would be going to see you I got to get promoter I know that I believe that are some believe that cuz you're brilliant as a joke writer you one of the most prolific I know or the most clever that I know but you're also you have less than anyone I've ever met in my life some weird fucking Tibetan monk dude that's been sitting up in some cave somewhere me the best Comics ever in my opinion now you're so low-key it freaks people out sometimes

I am all about that I really love to hang like he was saying like that the cult of the comics like I was hanging in like coming for me to do that's like it extra special so thank you that's why I think I think there's a correlation your you have my own self with your stand up good mixture because like you've obviously obviously been really successful would like staying in this group after you stop drinking and everything to your in his tight Groove resin that's what that's what I can save us we were at The Improv together something like that when you talk about that like I love this no harder fan now than your fans I mean like they know comedy they know a lot of things and they totally respect the art form and like the craft of it and that's that

see you and you're out there doing it's not like you know it's like back in the day I was a comic you're out there every night doing it you go on the road so it's like you're talking from now not from like the past and I like I feel like the web the web stuff helps and hurts comedy to some degree but it probably helps more than I'm giving it credit for cuz it really should connect to people with more people think it helps or hurts I think there's always been schitt comedy and there's always yours are doing really well and is always been inspiring people there's always been thieves the bad thing is this now it is it's like way more people can find you and those people does translate into clubs in NC to come out and the thing about the show the reason why this works is cuz we can all talk about it no way that a person doesn't do it can still understand it true I think this is what you know you could be into whatever the fuck it is

rebuilding muscle cars playing chess whatever the fuck it is that you're into when people get really into something is a very similar thing that happened will you get together with other people that are also really into it really good at it and you go how do you are you I'm always asking like do you write it out like we need to do just work it out on stage how much time do you spend a loan with the bit and how much time do you spend how much do you live just because a lot of guys don't like to do anything outside of right little tiny bit and then let it all Express itself naturally on say some of the best guys ever people don't get what it's the right and it's also the listening to yourself like a taping and listening that's the thing I have been doing I have not been doing lately we worked on this thing I'm working on other stuff and it's like when I go back and go like you know when I was really hardcore into the into the like you know material turning an hour that was the thing where it's like you always have to like like you told me you have that tank that's where like going there with

cracked like specially like a hard show on a Friday Late Late Show and listen to it. To me is like a form of torture optimistic I'm very pessimistic Optimist we only really like he really is like super off initially number up there and what day does beside me I'm indestructible for people that don't want to be quiet too short we go into the crowd we do all at all those different things that like you know I'll say I'll see if there's a lot of things that we do our like old school comedy and she was like old school hockey like it just no longer done it's like you could say it's it might be a little cheesy a little this a little that but at the end of the day it's it's just inappropriate fun silly like move to the next bed like

go ahead going to tell you there's like a hundred punchlines in this thing so even if like you know the law of averages like turtles swimming into the ocean if only honestly I'm not in the back but I think that's pretty good is the episode we had like Nikki Glaser Amy Schumer Rachel Feinstein Michelle wolf because we really like Jeff called in these like amazing people cellarius Gilbert was he completed us like he was the third piece of this like ancient like scroll Gilbert is to say cuz you know you're the best one

if you were like 16 years old what would you think of getting in the stand up first discovered Gilbert he was like on the MTV Awards imitating dice go to me he was not there, he was the guy that made you know he was he was always like people would talk about him an interview it was always like revered by other Comedians and he's a guy that's always been like he's a wild man Sasha bike

I have my friend Craig Moss from high schools in the audience with his wife and kids that they like starts walking around the village underground looking for my guest list Craig Moss where is Craig maso finally like they start goofing on this guy's just in the audience so that was a long jump in and my parents died Craig was my best friend he was pointing to the audience and Dave who this guy is and how much he did for me as a young man and and then jumps up out of the audience and just scream

came over and have perfect timing no filter and that's the beauty of it I don't know what the hell he's like that's it we would love him you know I would listen to Everything I always like different types of comics and Hasan minhaj or the other guess and it's right at one point we're all up there together and you were these are guys who might not even know each other in real life but the comedy kind of brings it together that's awesome it's like a party mix with a roast mix with a I don't even know Dave. It's really cool cuz Jeff's Family like wherever we would go on the road just family and I'll be like can I get your comps cuz I know I've got like 3

third cousins here I didn't know they were Jews in Oklahoma but evidently they were at 5:23 and meet people out there for me like I'm on the road alone you know I go out there I do my thang and Jeff really does like he's very close with his family like the other all invited you know hang out in the green room so that that's cool any brought that on stage like with your aunt I thought that was like one of the best moments of the whole show you know the first episode for Nikki Glaser Rachel Feinstein weird mix of

but you know what to say one more thing about Dave and the flip phone in like how the process works Dave is also the most like you say present but also informed like he knows all the references he knows what's going on in the world toys not like he's living in a cave man under the under the truck out there I have a raven sent me tell me the book report news from Westeros want to say oh we're in Vegas let's talk about this it's going to Vegas let's talk about that it's going to me like he'll bring up all the stuff we're like I'm the son of a caterer I'm more about this life experiences in the audience is here I like keeping it till like that's that show and I think you would agree with it it's like you'll agree with it to us like each show is its own thing right so it's like you know the fact

like some guy taping in the back you like dude why you doing that because this is your experience right now and hope we both talked about like this whole thing of like why do people think that like you know capturing this show is like important and like another also disposable it's like beautiful like fireworks it was like it's never going to happen again like that you know so you might as well just like soak it all in instead of trying to capture it and I think when we talked about like topical stuff I do that for like keeping the actor alive cuz I feel like my job in this team is to push it forward like you know it's like what else is happening like to keep moving it otherwise we can't we can always get into a loop of like you know just putting each other down or like working the crowd I like to move it forward and I think that the the cool thing about that is that like it does it does move forward

the making of the video so that other people can see it right there at the difference between today in the past are you for that experience is going to be better if you just watch it I'm not you you just get more of a jolly off of filming a clip and putting a clip on Facebook and I just know that like when I go to a place and I'm working on new material I wanted to be figured out and then then put it on the way I want it but I understand what you're saying which is like you know it. You know like it it's a it's an open it's an open world now and it's just like the idea of controlling is like a like an Antiquated idea but I think that you know for me at least that's the joke writer it's like I just wanted to where it's where it's going to be then get it out I think we if we establish Connecticut you know and most comedy clubs say you can't film and yes it is a reason gas prices

twice and it's all over the fucking place in the if I somehow or another released on Netflix special tomorrow and I have to do that bit I'd be fucked is this malformed gelatinous Preposterous the subject is it there's something to it to figure out what that something is going to take a while and it's going to be a lot of Miss steps and there's just no way around it and the only way for us to do this it's like if you are a musician I'm sure it feels awesome to practice in front of a crowd but you can practice at home or you can actually get the band together and play the whole song we can't do that bring music as like you know it's kind of music I'm like it's kind of not like music it's not like music at all if anything I really you know talk about like sulfate for one time I'm like how come like my bitch

don't rock like within 6 months and I'm like you know then I started like directors and Riders when is it everybody has first drafts everybody has it and like the best people have multiple drafts for the joke where it's like it'll work and then it won't work and then you'll change a line and then it'll work better and it won't and you're feeling it out you're feeling out the bit you and your head or filling in the holes that you only can see because it's your the Creator and I love that process but it also is terrifying you know it really is like where is it going to go but basically saying I did something more than you have a real issue with this because they will get a joke yes but no one is working at the process? A week

he'll finally get a joke not where it's killing where it's like a showstopper like what we do do something while you're laughing you take a separate some right we just like rolling around on the floor and I'll destroy it and then the next night I have to go like this ad again cuz I'm already working completely rearranged I will turn in that funny until I got boring couch all the kid I joke into a snoozefest still present I feed me feed me on my butt

I also like have a problem with it if a joke Works continuously some way I'm like there's something wrong with that attacks but

you know I think of the jokes of children I gave up a lot of my you know my first born there it's because it's so important Club, restart every show he's not there cuz it could be so much better that's what is a person who's a comic you understand what they're doing they just don't want to take any chances but as a person whose you know also you know how good it feels to write something eventually get it to the point where you could say it Gilbert Gilbert live is hilarious right so like but for years like he's gotten out of it now but for years you wouldn't update as material and I took them my sister my

Long John Stamos we all went to see me Caroline's one night 3 years ago doing like Calista flockhart's to skin each other and we're just died and by the way like Stamos is criticizing and whispering in my ear I have 5 years ago Broadway doing Chicago 30 40 50 year old play talking about like your first hitting your Prime as a comedian now to his credit he's like another level he's just that's great that inspired him to start running again I embarrassed him to start writing again that's great but when he's with us like when that thing I said to Jeff I go if we ever tour again we have to bring him on some of these Gates cuz he really does like he was the third element of this this whatever cameras

of the thing that really did for me at least I always knew that like if it wasn't going anything with it with me and Jeff and that's the truth of it too and people will see that in the Shell that this you know there's a couple of bits that go nowhere but we left them at the show people that it's real and all that kind of stuff but he's so God damn he's good I wish you would have to stand up once again on my flip phone I'm just so ridiculous man he's just like his ability to you know I have to sing about time I don't know what you think about it but it was like there's something about that timing that like you know I know in today's world that like you know people don't care about that it's more bad at like identity and also but like Norm is a master of time and get really is like a

master of my time in this whole thing that he's trying to do is find these classic jokes I love that ever 1991 maybe catch Princeton somehow I talk my way into an MC spot and Rich Voss was the middle and Norma said I love Rich Norm Norm was only famous for doing a few late night show with a thick of the night or something or Bob Costas now it was again later with Bob Costas some late night show like syndicated whatever it was but but like I meet norm and he's

catch Prince when he doing out to 45 minutes every show he either destroyed or he gotten zero last 45 minutes and whenever he got zero last he would stand by the door and say goodbye to people if they left us great if he killed he would go back up to the room with Vossen we would play poker and then and then while we were there. Look at my house to get fucked on Letterman for the first time and I had a Jeep my sister bought me a Jeep with the money she got from a car accident and I drove and I drove to the Worm by Robin and I drove drove Norm to his Letterman taping his first Letterman that's incredible his go I learned a lot that week it was so funny. Barry was so obsessed with normies came out and slept in my bed

is really funny like old-school veteran Boston, put the second guy open for was Lenny Clarke Clarke gave me advice that was totally contrary to his brother's advice but he's the best nicest guy Library open for Lenny ghost he was kid you're funny but you're too fucking dirty he said I just told me like like a certain and then Lenny Clarke came off stage goes whatever you do don't clean your act up Boston to when is going to be able to the core and when I when I Was preparing this I was due to a roast of the Boston cops and Mike really help me like warm

got me a bunch of local gigs in the Boston flavor how beautiful the Irish people Italian people it's a good place to do comedy man that is definitely of the two times I'm thinking right now Boston and Philly of the teacher going to change dramatically and also just in terms of like like when you walk around and everything it's like it out here at Metro and an old Boston was such a challenge it really was like especially Outsiders what year did you start going in their 90's battles every time they had local Headliners that could destroy you the greatest Comics ever off said it was it was definitely one of those things you were terrified but you were here just like

Giada and what to tell you about Gavin might come down here like okay he just wants a few minutes yeah they would go on stage just a fuck with you absolutely have her set and I didn't hear him every time the people started out, but that was their town and they and they and they saw you coming into their town and they were like to know you better you better prove it you know it's like before it Step Up Revolution yet out you had known it wasn't ready for your respect I learn it eventually that's a great attitude is a horrible what was going on

Dawn because now everybody realizes they were the internet there's literally an unlimited amount of viewers and people that can come to your gigs and it's way more beneficial for them to know that like with you but you're talking about someone that's really good for them to know you have good taste like if Dave says I got to see Jeff Ross the fucking hilarious comedian like a while of Dave so he must be right you don't sound like it helps not having a famine mentality that's that's the thing that fucked us back in the early days like in Boston it was before my time cuz when I came along they had already started bit like to Steven Wright has been on on was he on Letterman and and then you know like Jay Leno it already taken off and he was on Letterman all the time those guys are already like broken through to TV but there was a sense that some of them had that like where's mine

on Letterman and say Hey you think I'm funny you got to see this guy Lenny Clarke are you got to see this guy Don Gavin are you got to see Steve Sweeney all these murderers that he came up with and they were all like where's mine I got out what the fuck you just like in my head spots spots but we have the generator we actually saw people who cross your room like rushing room like today I was like oh you killed it you crush a bit like seeing Richard jeni at his height like at Caroline's or something like that cross that room people leaving exhausted where it's like 2 hours and you're like oh he hasn't even had his this thing yet and he's like like to do you like at the thread like a million jokes I would watch that I'll be like oh my God that's that's like terrifying to say it was like watching a wave come out you and I was like what people consider now killing a room

like I I never got to see Sam Kinison or any of those people I but I assume that was the same thing of where people cannot breathe they leave the room like just going like I'm and I'm just exhausted but I didn't get to see him until after he releases HBO special special all that material was gone like what I would have wanted to see was that because that was a combination of 10 years of doing stand-up comedy show special and it's just a murderous nuclear missile either 85 or 86 I think it was 86 Rascals in a sold-out show and I was in college and I knew how funny he was he's probably already famous Rascals when he be doing a bigger venue by that special event theaters I saw it a couple of big places I saw him at one place down the cape was I want to say it was like

if I had to guess today I would say it's somewhere around 2000 seats and I saw him at Great Woods which is considerably larger than that that's right after his HBO special and this is 80 this is 86 87 while I was at work for WBUR the call at the public as on as an engineer inspects the fuck outta Dodge throw-in brought I brought a hoodie with me I feel like my first couple days in the job the first day on the job is a dude named Allie cat who's the dude who ran the security they caught some drunk kid stole a golf cart

so they chased him down tackle them and he was beating them in the face with a walkie-talkie that was day one and I was like alright it's one of these jobs it was and I'm not a big person I'm 5 foot 8 so I'm not exactly so I was only like a hundred and sixty pounds was really lighten so I was not getting any Tangles with some big giant drunk dudes in the Bucks an hour or whatever I'm getting so just bring a hoodie with me and shit went down with zip up and one day the Neil Young concert and they had it and they started bonfires these fucking crazy Neil Young fans through a bunch of shit on the ground just started fires and then they started trying to break up these fires in people were pushing security guard and then my friend Larry has like the nicest guy in the world punch this guy in

stomach and I'm like okay that's it Larry's punching people if she's the nicest crazy I just walked straight to my car and drove the fuck home I didn't get your last paycheck nothing I'm like I'm out of full-blown Riot throwing down piles of people beating the shit out of each other fires they cancel the concert they shut the concert in the middle of what's happening for new it was the opener sometimes when you were in the back area where the grass was the Acoustics weren't so good so like when people went to see Comics it was bad it's not good to hear what the fuck was going on what do you think about odd ball in like outdoor comedy what do you think of that

it was a summer night was beautiful we got lucky with the rain or no rain or anything super cool to comics and everything like that it makes ya like it's just amazing to watch him do it but the outdoor thing with the can never hear you know like the joke going off into outer space. Definitely is is is something that even the theater in the round which is one I saw a Rodney Dangerfield there when I was like 17 and that was another situation where the guy's just like the room cannot breathe and I was like this isn't around you know I was like wow that's weird you know I was 17 or so is this how it goes

realize that that's another like really hard then you to play is the round you know a few of those I did the that place in Phoenix that wasn't around Hollywood Theater that's that's a great spot just pieces ever talk about someone who did it totally differently he would basically write a monologue of the bits as he would just keep doing them in figure out a better way to do them but then you like TuneIn specific just to see the special well he was in a different place than anybody else because of how prolific he was and some some would say like yeah but see how some of it wasn't my favorites

Michael listen to it is impossible to write an hour every fucking Year and have it your best version of that hour you need more time a lot of the time so he had honor that commitment of getting the special on break but what he did was he did something that was slightly different than, neither cuz it was even cuz it was like I was like a state of the union estate of black civilization statement wasn't just comedy it's like here's a really wise old guy he was in March but he has some really good points and he's going to do this every year so different was more that wasn't like he never worked out in clubs I don't want to see him once and he was he had this whole bit about fuck everything was like basically fuck this and fuck that and in part of those, because he's like did they say George got to work out you shouldn't, Let's Go fuc comedy clubs really

back in the day and I was probably going out of 2 a.m. and I still have it was a schedule ahead George Carlin going on in Garland came into the Improv I got to say hi to him in the back patio the store just how you doing nice to meet you yeah how I saw him at the Aspen, and I know he he definitely was like not doing anything like he had like substance stuff going on it was up to the how do you feel like sipping on it and he's looking at me like

sippin on this one glass of wine a bit well he he he got injured right now the pain pill problem so many fucking people man sky but I think the pain pills was later on in his life he just reached a point where you realize I've got an issue I got to stop this sorted out I respect that he really committed to his craft I thought he was trying to do other stuff here and there when no one else was doing it do I have to wear your bed having a brilliant social point with humor attached to it that was his thing like some of his best bits or just like really good points about hypocrisy and the Ridiculousness of our civilization with like really good

is it right to a subject that to you know yeah well you know Lenny Bruce obviously open that door. Open the door all the time to be cops comedy clubs and shit you can't be that guy unless you're a pain in the ass I mean he was arrested multiple times and bad words yeah I think we need a guy like him in the Innocence like Robert today you know I mean if he was alive today he would just be a great comic he wouldn't you wouldn't have to do all the shit that he had to do you like it's hard for us to whenever you go back and listen to stuff like Lenny Bruce it's really almost impossible unless you

live through it that time in that time to put it that's why I kind of put myself back in the 80s I can remember that I have a sense of what it was like I can tell you I don't have a goddamn clue as to what it was like in the 60s and so when he was doing this we have to put in contacts if there was there was no freedom I didn't say certain words you couldn't talk. I mean really crazy restrictions on the way people talk and they brought him into court over and over and over again essentially bankrupt them he couldn't work anymore and by the end you just died of heroin on the fucking bathroom floor and then he became a mess and a lot of him being a mess with him dealing with his court cases but he's got this recordings of him where he's going on stage with his legal paper just reading the lost his fucking mind but we also came up in the club system and I consider myself a club, that's what I do that's how I'm supposed to do if I like these guys were before like you say hack it and always got away before the club

and they played the Catskills they played like some being a Jewish Camp somewhere the hardest of the hardest cakes to do so you know it's like it's an all-ages show it's you know there may be a late show where they get to be a little Saucy or but you know it really is a tough thing and it's the same crap for a whole week I mean honestly you know that's like I give it up to those guys like the Joan Rivers who I think also is like an unsung hero, he like she she's like crosses over that that that that thing from like you know where TV comedies becomes like a big deal like where you see mine like Johnny Carson on what kind of stuff like I loved her since I watch that much is she really was a great joke writer and she was 2 years old who else had new material at 1800 but it's really just know that I do just Carlin and her I guess so right and she died trying to improve her voice or instrument

if she was still staying in it sad when she had some serious fucking horsepower when it came to like her ability deliver punchlines and gentlemen Lenny Bruce because I took a comedy class in New York who's teaching Lee Frank hey take this comedy class I think you'd be good at it and I think you'd be good at it and I thought well it's near the bus station where I would go to work and then go visit my grandpa and take care of him he was sick and

and I I would just go to this class for 3 hours away to socialize really I didn't have a desired I don't even know what stand-up was but the first assignment was to memorize a comedian's act and do it just for the class to get a sense of timing and what it was like right and it wasn't our material wasn't about that at all and I heard Lenny Bruce was the coolest so I went to the Springfield Public Library I took out a Lenny Bruce. Live at Carnegie Hall double album I still have it and I memorize this routine and I didn't get it that the class didn't get it and I realize like God context is everything I try to make it just wasn't funny to me so I was like you were saying before Dave like the moment the Thomas experience of being there people were so restricted back then in terms of their access information terms of the way they talk to each other that anything out

side of the norm anything being broadcast we have to also remember that broadcasting itself was only like 40 or 50 years old right that was even remotely I just outside of what they accept its operating way of Behaving was was considered decadent and racy endless dirty Lenny they would you know if he would talk about things that you're not supposed to talk about that today that's saying stuff it's already been here Open the Door Richard Pryor kicked it down let it on fire Eddie Murphy nuclear bomb detonated what kept going on and it's weirdness to it that he experienced back then and he would have never been able to do comedy any differently I think that's also what we need to understand is if like Eddie Murphy went back to 1960 and did his

kind of material that he did in raw they wouldn't take it wouldn't is everybody feel like when he's yelling at us like what is he doing things that have to happen and I think you kind of have to have a guy like Lenny who's like spelling it out for people and then a guy like Carlin takes it to a different place and then again they just keep going and prior comes along and introduces dislike incredible honesty to it so uh comic had one last layer of exposition in there at 8 so interesting and Tennyson Ben Tennyson came around it was our first time that I ever saw something went owe will Def Comedy could be anything because I thought the comedy was these guys who would go on The Tonight Show cuz that's mostly what I'd say where they would never notice and they would have talked about stuff they noticed and I loved it I would love to stand up comedy but I never I never thought the stand up comedy was anything like Candice I want to talk to

for the first time was like oh this is a totally different thing like this guy is crazy he was standing in front of a guy going you know you look at this face you didn't know they never done anything like that before and I remember thinking at that time like wow, he's really fascinating because it can be so many different things that I wanted to be a Rockstar yeah but that when you see see all those great things that he could do like his stagecraft I guess you would call it here and things you could do you could really hold the stage ad in today's world where is pretty much everyone's Loki lights that's kind of like the new style like Loki whatever to me always

very seriously, throws an experienced significant injuries storage got hit by a car she got fucked up she was in a mental hospital for 9 months being really bad so when people talk about Roseanne and they say bad things about him looking you really are doing everyone a disservice by expressing this the way you're doing it because you're not even taking into consideration everything she does you should take into consideration she had a significant brain massive trauma to the brain when she was like 15 years old her head bounce off of the fender of a fucking car she was laid out she was in the mental institution for 9 months after that right this is like asking someone who has broken legs to not limp

I'm shooting really want to address and you were like backtracked she had I had to get it out of her because this is what I know about her and she all she knows that I'm a giant fan like she knows I always say if you have to list like top 20 comics of all time Roseanne is 100% in there and probably one of the most important one because what she did when she first got on HBO when she first one first. She would she would fucking murder yeah she would murder and she should have totally different style Hurst she didn't give a fuck like when she was up there the first time you saw a woman who is like aggressive and insulting and didn't give a fuck didn't give a fuck what she looked like didn't give a fuck what you thought about what you look like she was just there to be funny and she knew that I had that I never want you to the show so it helped you know it help like but I'm not trying to hurt you in anyway I just want you are

Edison's man and then on top of that everybody relax or lady alone after when she's in her sixties for a fuck up on Twitter lying you're either. No if I said okay you don't know anything about her what's the ethnicity of a boy or in any way racist right no one wants to be honest doesn't mean you're racist if you look at that and go but that was said she could be a lot of things she has long straight hair not long short straight hair like she be a lot of things this is not obvious. You say that it's obvious you're being disingenuous

this is your not realistic this is not obvious

or any other crazy shit she tweets about trails and you know I like and like that was one thing that like since her everybody was always like you know you got to like throw out in your act like 20 minutes about like what you are and who you think the sitcom should be and it was like it didn't work as well for anybody else except for her because that really was her life and it wasn't thinking River model was another guy was really good at that where he would put up his ass he would like totally like how do you say great jokes about his family and his wife in the expectations of their relationship and then that became the the essence of that show so they see like everybody like hey you got to get like you know you know what did you have a dog growing up to a joke about that

theme and do it on stage for sitcom I'm guessing you guys specifically craft and act that they thought was going to be $0.12, it's like a goal the goal was the sitcom was another one I got lucky okay I got super lucky I got super lucky first of all I never had my own show anything into I did a really shity one first one that should have been really funny but then too many people got involved and it got too convoluted and fucked up and it just didn't work not show got cancelled and then I got lucky that I got on the show that was already very did the pilot Ray Romano supposed to the pirate the pilot rather he gets fired they hired a new guy and then they film the pilot and then after they film the new guy and then I came in that's so there was what like there's a lot of steps you jumped the hard part of creatively

a feeling maybe at the time news radio was unusually free in how much you could create you could constantly improve lines as a genius in the world and he would let you like he would just use no ego what to do the best shit like he would let go like Dave Foley was constantly rewriting jokes and consoling introducing new punchline so I can meet you you know probably one of those if you'd look at all the punchlines ever been on the show I like a percentage of them you would have tribute 2 day 4 without the significant percentage genius but they would let him do it they wanted everybody to do you want to do more than your supposed to people on the show to it's a lot of human beings to be talking for 22 minutes and of course Phil was the star in Oakville Harmon was a big star so talented he was like super professional

all the scenes in there with different colors for the tabs and he would practice then the other you see him sit in there by himself just going over his license to chill as professional like I'm so bad at it, and then they ride it as long as I can and then then they go back to stand up and we seen that you can throw a dart at like a schedule anywhere in the country will see that guy and I know it what isn't it sad that you didn't keep doing the stand up cuz now you're kind of right back to where you started in terms of stand up like getting get the girl that way life is the best Touring time when you have a sec, but most people don't want to go on tour like that you know me I would be like yeah you're right let's go for a few months but the

going to be stuck at in LA and then on top of that especially back then when you start out of sitcom you doing 12-hour days until you figure out how to do it true once did the show I've been figured out by like season 3 or 4 we were down to like 3 days a week sometimes 4 days a week mostly mostly Ford and then very rarely 5 unless it was some significant crazy somebody to make we did $0.98 wow yeah yeah yeah I know it's too much too much 9948 fear factors 6 more than we did one when it came back and six or seven more setting it did we did 7 but 48 to know that one took 3 days sometimes you could bang out one and two days but you have the beast on early in the day in the sea stunt at night like the finals done at night

where am I you know what again very fortunate was a great gig plenty of money and it was all good and if it definitely helped my stand up cuz gave me fuk you money to give me the ability to not worry about like having money in the bank cuz I'm extravagant tastes I'm not too ridiculous with money but I like feeling like I don't have to worry like I don't think it was a source of material posted a spin-off that didn't get picked up who is it called say Uncle David hurwitz who's producing Fear Factor they had a show called to say uncle which I later parotid in the De Niro movie I wrote the comedian called like stop uncle or whatever it was but anyway

one of the big things was a guy a contestant got it a turkey pen and we like put maple syrup all over and he rolled around and he's like birds like him and he is families are watching and it's bleeding and she and I stopped at thing in the producers were mad at you can't stop in the middle like the guys crying I go and it was just a total disaster and then I remember going to Jimmy Kimmel's like Premiere party for Jimmy Kimmel Live and I saw the head of a VC there and I never done this in my entire life that is like getting a drink I walked all over and I said please don't pick it up stand behind you just kind of looked at me and smiled hears us this would have been 2003 after Fear Factor which was first launched when

what happens is you get used to one thing and so you have to do something that's bigger and better the next year and so we came back I felt uncomfortable with a lot of the shit they know how to do it guys are top of the food chain date but they were doing some scacchi shit like one of them we had these people chained to a tree with a bungee cords that were attached to a helicopter and they had to figure out the right locks to unlock the bungee cord that they're the straps to keep them to the tree and then as soon as they do they undo the strap and toonies they go fucking shooting out in the space into the center of this gigantic Canyon and they're bouncing underneath the helicopter and I remember thinking like this from someone's going to die of course we got lucky dude I really feel like we got lucky I really really honestly 100% feel like we got lucky there was a few

who sings first of all there's a certain amount of rest so you take whenever you doing anything like jump your car off of a building roof which we did we would have people fly cars across a train a moving train okay there's risk involved in that right but the one that scared the shit out of me the most was bull riding we had people ride both if you want to ask me know now before we are I mean I gave him the the standard but you know what I would talk to them I'd say look up to you if you want to teach you how to ride a pole building up your techniques you just don't do that don't do that that's what I would say we had this girl she was like 98 pounds she got long shot the back of this bowl and shoot you this these people went fucking flying like that things kicking

when it's kicking and how much it would look at it I mean come on man I mean that's the way she felt like that that is like getting hit in the back of the head with the world so like my personal feelings about trauma and about what's dangerous and should I does this is a No-No especially for a 90 pound woman like this poor lady oh my goodness she got up she little fellow I was back then yeah she got up man she's top of shit but everybody but I feel like in that one I feel like we got lucky I feel like we roll the dice because if they stop you think they lacerate livers and Crush Crush soda machines and they can stop you

the funny thing was so stunned guys are so fucking tough those guys are so used to put in their ass on the line that they don't think anything about some what do it something risky run to them that's what you do show up for work and that's definitely a different in your head like a alpha something animals have to keep them from having a family there's a what who's going to marry you if you're throwing your life in the line unrelated to war or famine yeah how about Evel Knievel do those flips and shit and they have the parkour guys would I like to climb up a building with no any any any kind of proscar

I did the kettlebells you tell me that I am out of out of the Kettlebell experience I think it's because like maybe I'm just more into it now you know no better exercise for you than pull-ups and push-ups and back to me if they want if somebody to save the rest of your life you got to pull up bar and no weights you know you going to be okay I'll take that over not having a pull-up bar because I think there's certain amount just certain kind of workouts and if so when you manipulate your own body to push ups and push-ups with bodyweight like single leg squats and things like that a tremendous workout in with just a chin-up bar body weight and then there's just something about like that do 100 of them like I can't even do like 10 like 10 would be great for me if I'd like

it's so hard it's almost like torture to do it I mean you know that two sets I don't do it though I do sets of 10 and I don't do any more than 10 and I do them multiple times a day like I have a chin-up bar in my house so I walk in and I'll just jump up and I found it like my squeeze like with Jujitsu and with being able to pick my body and just move around better it's just randomly throughout the day I do chin-ups all the time like when it like I'm over those the bars in the back I'll do a show here and then I'll go back and do tension and I'm like that with masturbation since I can have sex anytime you're always ready to go to go but if I had to pick one thing would be that bitch in a bar in their body weight stuff you could do that for sure that you're not into the cattle bells on the on the road it's it's like hard to do you know like I don't like going to this.

tell Jim I think that I like to keep it in the room so sometimes you know jump rope or something like that but I still feel like crap most of the time when I was a kid but I was a kid like it was all that stuff like push-ups and sit-ups and all kind of stuff and now that I'm back to it I'm like you know I forgot how great this is you know it's really cool what does TRX things illustrates to the door of the hotel room and you could do all these crazy exercises and it's real small it in your bag I like to I love the hotel room like we've all seen that in the movie The Assassin you never were like a runner where you like

Atlanta military feel to it and some some different they would call it. James Black Belt Taekwondo do you exercise I've been doing a lot of not exercising any good I feel good place now where I need to start exercising again who talked about this in the parking lot the other day right much about my instrument and I've been editing and writing and producing so I don't have gotten a little not late I guess lazy and I don't feel as good like I know I recognize it in my body so I need to snap out of it I think he needs like a like a like a group or like people to hang with cuz you know that would make it more fun by myself

a group of guys you know come on man, that sounds fine like a CrossFit class to join or some shit like that mean they always have those kind of things is all sorts of different classes that you like it was awesome they are done tomorrow's high intensity interval training things at a yoga place to with some yoga and some like really light weights really crazy exercises that's fun too

your dancer pose we don't answer

CJ so you try to do that don't hurt yourself standing bow bow

keep it going where you going no one can see you really do Come On Son Harry goes to the new level. Submission cry for help to stretch out after a long flight or something that's good anything's better than nothing that's a time to think about life to Think Through who is like quiet it's about you for me yogurts like giving yourself a massage it's more gratifying than going to

do stretches before you go do something about that that's very relaxing I want pigeon post that's where all the tension is Pigeon pose that's the one where you're at

where your leg comes on

I want at Sheila's what the fuck is he doing that's good helps bro I'm so sad yeah that's not real you just crying because someone told you she cried so much emotional you want to be a part of this group try any fucking there's no diagrams you don't know where the colon is like you better stop you better stop saying that you don't have any fucking their stuff called magnetic resonance MRI you don't have that like real evidences of motion

get the fuck out of here with that shit you're not you don't have any memories specifically and people say no no no but when I'm in that position and they tell you that it Cinema if your emotions come out here you just let him am I what emotions going to come out

immune Hepatitis

hypnosis with the dark yoga place but other people that are staring at their own at the floor you can relax a little emotionally that's a logical definition that's a logical way to explain what's going on I'm just a good me neither this guy has to eat like he has to eat before we go check right before right before but for me I don't want to there's a certain amount of resources your body is going to use for digestion that's just a fact there's a reason why Fighters don't need a fucking see I can mashed potatoes right hate when they fight cuz your body will be like fuck you dude we got to digest this stuff and it's sloshing around your stuff

just no way obviously this is that's how hungry I was by the Late Show like you're probably better off feeling good then you are like being having more mental alertness slightly but also like being hungry I like that is annoying in the car coming to your studio today and the first thing I say to the door was there anything to eat around here because it's like it's an anxiety thing to like before you're going to perform and

I remember reading years and years and years and years ago that David Letterman when he pineapple right before he went on so I always I always ask for pineapple in my Riders hi Stacy pineapples are good here also would do a fasting and then he would like pig out that was his thing that's what I heard that he was like not eat for like 2 or 3 days and then he would do that and that's how my friend was it that like that kind of thing of like where you'd like just basically Spartan like nothing nothing nothing and then like you get to you whatever you want I believe for sure that people eat too much food and be included fight too much and what I'm fast like especially intermittent fast I do like 16 hours at night when I do do that I feel way better way better hours no good

you just decide in you go to bed would have to be getting a colonoscopy eat dinner you done at 8 you go to bed or do whatever the fuck you do but just no more food warm how do you talking about

I go right to the cookies in the back of the comedy store that's not a bad idea that's really not bad idea at all but you don't get stuck with what I was doing this sober October fitness challenge with Ari and then Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer I ate everything in sight I eat pizza and cookies I ate everything cuz it just want calories but the problem with cookies and stuff like that is like you can eat them but just can't make a habit of eating them all the time or will fuck you up it's just going to fuck you up on the way you go on stage quick carbs who buys going to break down those carbs no sugar and glucose is a very good fuel for the brain works good for the brain especially in like if your body's carb adaptive you eat carbs all the time and you can eat some carbs right before you go on stage I'll give you like a little energy I feel so much better and then

wait I wouldn't I wouldn't say don't do that that'll give you some fucking sugar to burn off like it's not the best food for you in the world that you're asking for it for a very specific reason like after it's over I'd say yeah go have some salmon and some vegetables and eat healthy but right before you want to work out like you could drink a Coke like you you could do the Coca-Cola and if you're going to live for an hour okay to burn that shit off and just going to be fuel to use just I wouldn't suggest I do it all the time but it's not going to have a negative effect on it's really a cumulative thing with people die it's it's eating too much sugar too much bullshit for too many days in a row and not give me your body chance to relax

when I don't eat I never considered like oh that's lightheadedness I'm like I'm probably having a stroke right now that's awesome we'll listen food is fucking phenomenal right and you're lucky you live in New York City and then you come to La so you're in both places and your two spots that have some of the greatest restaurants on planet Earth if you're like a foodie nice bottle of wine and have a beautiful steak with the right accoutrements and you know why wouldn't you mean it's it's a beautiful pleasure and if I you two steaks or red meat it's fucker fight like I'm either on stage or on the toilet as much as I used to

hey what was it what were you guys having their like a porterhouse another thing we are like not only the ribs still there but the hub's like that kind of thing I can really basically like to be yourself yourself really went to it yeah we went to town on that she need more than that I really look at it I think what's wrong with people think was wrong with red meat is all the stuff to eat with it how does sugar and bullshit and Brad and pasta and then alcohol and sedentary life is a bunch of things but I think if you're at healthy person to exercise all the time I don't think steak bad for you at all I don't think a little bit of good for you what is the opposite of bad for you I think all of our preconceived notions about what's healthy all of them very cuz some people that really don't do good with red meat some people don't do well with fish weird funny fish I don't like it either do you want it love it steps up your whole game right that for sure

fish like a salmon does they're so good for you man by the best fish oil krill oil and anything's getting those essential fatty acids with so many people are missing from their diet just getting a good healthy Supply but everyday is good for everything that's good for your skin is good for your brain good for muscle development social oil good for inflammation if you have joint aches and stuff like that picture also touch your nose and it feels moist and like what's happening here and do I have a clue what's going on here we're good I think you're clean but officials is one of the best things men so good for you what is fish oil extracted from the they sell shot at the merch booth

I've done that with the most delicious thing I think I caught was a wahoo Hawaii it was phenomenal man because I would cook stuff for you and you just bring the fish and you know he would go how do you guys think you want to prepare this and so we said I don't know like what do you think like it's like what would you do if somebody brought you that she goes out to pair a bunch of different ways this is a huge fish so I can make you guys like a little bit of Ceviche little bit of tsushima perfect he cooked it 6 hours after it was dead when we caught it and then six hours later we eating it for lunch it was insane was so good in school that's it right there wow that's what it looks like it's another name for them though why they call Dan oh no oh no that's right that's right it's delicious it's so good looking at the camera

what that's crazy you know I like intense pain I feel way worse for the animal I don't feel bad for fish exactly cuz I'm just being honest right but that's what I'm here for but it when I shoot a deer there's always a little part of me and it's like

you know this is what I hate you know I I know that if I don't do this they're going to die of either starvation or disease are they going to be ripped apart asshole first by Coyotes like this is not a good and for them to matter what me shooting them is for the best and they're ever going to get interest it's a different feeling when you see like an elk down then when I guess it's percent happiness

animal downs one thing but what about knowing it's coming it's so hard to keep a shit together that's how I enter that's a hunting you get emotional you know you don't you get nervous you don't want to fuck it up you don't want to enjoy anything so there's a lot of anticipation in that moment it served its very intense and whatever amount of meat you get from that animal whenever you eat it you're going to think about that moment you think I think about that moment every time I eat Electrolux life-or-death moment in life I just a circle of life changing moment in life that I participated in and now I'm eating it so I know exactly what the food is as opposed to going to Morton's get a nice steak and you know it gets a mashed potato don't know where the fuck they grew that potato salad

can of Pringles when I'm on the I'm in the refrigerator i l at Ralphs and you think I do like fishing at all I used to fish as a kid in the Hudson River of my grandfather we could catch bass and I really loved it I haven't done it since I was a kid it's a fun thing to do it's a passion if you could find a spelling of you're doing a gig and you could find a spot that has like a party boat especially take you out and wine and people doing when we do party boats for Bluefish and just go to a spot every drop in line in the Tony's Fish shop and then you know you cook them later that night it's fantastic just makes you think about what fish is too and how weird it is we got this alien world connected to us we pull these things on cut their fucking heads off and pick them up

are you going to Japan in all those places I have been to Japan but I fucked up and I was there and I didn't go to the fish market I heard the fish market Tokyo is one of those was a combination of things like that it's crazy it's so interesting to see like you know which I used to like you said Brad and all that stuff for months without seeing a piece of bread and they're all send their noodles a lot of times are rice noodles it's very different in other sweet noodles there to the right that is different than us they have a completely different style of eating in just one of the coolest things about Tokyo man is that it's almost like an alternative country it's because it's so different like say if you're in Los Angeles right you leave from Los Angeles and you know you're here in 2018 and you driving around this is the way people live over here in this is how people are in trap

Megan is that people are when they come to the comedy show all these different places and then you go to Tokyo wow this is also people in 2018 polite as you walk down the street to help people bumping into anybody nobody's yelling at anybody they're very polite but they're also very Japanese write the majority leaves your Japanese degraded right mean there's something you see some Africans there I see some people like us there but it's mostly Japanese people it's it's interesting to see if you seen this TV it's a future it's basically America

if the Nazis won the war low and they partner with the Japanese and the Japanese own California Northern California and the Nazis on the rest of the country in the midwest to sort of no-man's-land so New York is not see New York exploded at the Rockies but Japanese low and I'm obsessed with it Philip dick is the it's a Sci-Fi writer sense classroom

forgot the actor's name

Rudy Luther

Rufus C well tell her I said what's the number of Ruben foofur is the governor of New York yeah but it's a very interesting show basically New York cops wearing Nazi armband so they're still New York cops like hey the Furious and it's fascinating how they do the show but what's interesting about Japanese culture in the show is you see the the the the fancy class the aristocratic class of Jap you of Japan runs essentially San Francisco and you see how they're very snobby and very particular and and they don't really like to mix with the Americans wow with the anglos

that that guy Philip he really is he's really he's really super cool like in terms of the Sci-Fi stuff and I've seen there was another movie that I saw his like within the last 2 years

could you could you bring up his ear wax cuz I would know what other movies did you do or did they do they adapt of his movies

when we got here

this guy worked out show Scanner Darkly wow that's right

damn you are a lot of shit at the adjustment team isn't out of moving to the idea of not supplying America interesting to is you can still do that in a movie where you can still play Nazis as long as they're you know the bad people and some historical thing or some something that's going on now that's really the only way you could portray Nazis

but you're not allowed to be a Nazi for Halloween sorry for it like this rules now you can't be that you can take your marks Show tickets go for Halloween for Halloween you can be so many terrible things you can be vampires and werewolves and demons and there was okay cool you could be Saddam Hussein and people will laugh if yes Saddam Hussein we got them we got that guy but if your dress is mango that you've ruined the party

if you dress as Osama Bin Laden. Might get your ass kicked you might get your ass kicked for that one or those too soon but if you dress like

you can probably dress like the president of Iran what's that dude's name that dude came over here and said a bunch of crazy shit about gay people

people were offended it was Anne Frank Halloween costume talk about the Holocaust or something like that is never forget and a 14 year old and a non mocking way wants to embody Anne Frank why is that offense if I don't understand that but they're never going to do it not mocking right every time you making the hallway and costume you're almost always trying to be silly right

Halloween cost

it all depends on to me if your intent a hundred percent you should wear whatever the fuck you want for it was a costume party dressed in all the right for you could be a Mongol you can be one of the Mongol horde tour through Europe but he's also a symbol onto itself is the symbol of the English royalty and later took it grew up alright he got out of it. Mother fuckers living under a microscope so I can get away with foot pretty much no one can get away with being a Nazi anymore there's a guy in from like North Carolina or something like that recently him and his son were Nazis for for Halloween one person they can get away with it

I know and if you can get away with it I mean what you did that just as a Nazi or grade school learning about the First Amendment

the score of the reasons I became a comedian was because I used to just draw swastikas on my notebooks just cuz just cuz I knew I was like wow so in any other country they can't smile and cross it out and I go in any other country I get my tongue I know that's the Beatles beautiful thing you can say fucked up terrible you can dress like an asshole like bad taste is not a crime right yeah and that was what one of the remember the Yale Uprising a couple years back there was a guy Nicholas Greek name and his wife they were at Yale and the wife sent out an email saying that we need to stop policing people's costumes Halloween costumes Politically Incorrect Halloween costume like you should relax and feels her freaking out

corned ham in the Square ice cream and Chris Chris. Guess I'll just stand physician and who's teaching at Yale and these kids were they confronted him and they were screaming at him like this is our safe place you fucking ruined our plate it was so bizarre and strange and hostile and he was just trapped out there with these nonsensical kids screaming at him that like he's racist in this whole thing is racist and you shouldn't be able to wear whatever cost him you want like no one even specified like what we're talking about it was it was ethnic costumes that even though it's just for the party I guess I'm just looking for a reason this thing

my niece my niece and nephew are going to call you know they're going to get ready to go to college and I'm like it's going to be so difficult because they're going to come out of this machine you know pretty much looking at me is like taking out pretty much I'm already not that relevant but like just like all of my references stuff like that just going to be so you know inappropriate and I don't really focus your opinion that you already have so that's what I felt was like I felt like I don't want to play college and we're all dreading like the day when we have to play a show like that way you know everybody there has that group think you know you have to adapt and I know you probably could do it but I don't think I could she could

yeah you adapt in terms of doing a set you can defend yourself what you want to do whatever you want to do it's also you not answer for mean yeah you're not a bad person so whatever I'm literally that's why we got the sense of humor in this country has never been lower and I can say that as like what Jeff started by like when we were little kids like Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein everybody was watching them enjoying them now they have all these hidden meanings of people look into that and I'm like you know it was like just a fun time you know it's just like a fun experience it was it wasn't like that was like the template I think you can bounce back but I think what's happening now is there's a certain number of people that want to be able to change the way other people talk and what they talk about because they are Ultra sensitive

they have this giant reaction to things that may or may not be relevant and it's a debate whether or not it's relevant because the culture is Shifting in a way that's becoming more sensitive so probably that's good as long as they understand context and intent to contacts didn't ask why, she worked as Mel Brooks because he use the n-word 50 times in a girlfriend home East is East and West is West and never the two shall meet we can kick my grandfather out of the family we just grew up like we were watching would be that guy grew up in World War I mean that no one could ever there's no way we're going to understand that right did the difference in the way people saw

the world that have to do with an actual World War II soft pampered ass life worth living I don't condone racism but I understand why people hold grudges if you went over to Vietnam and lost half your fucking friends and you came back over here and your fucked-up still because of it like I don't condone racism but I think that anytime you're forced into a situation where your country is at war with another side it's probably really hard for people to forgive people you know I mean how hard is it that was one of things that someone said about the Japanese and not really too thrilled with Americans and I said well how how do you think you'd feel if you were showing up 40 years after someone at literally nuked your country twice just annihilated hundreds of thousands of people with one Bomb by any means made Shadows on the concrete of where someone's body used to be just vaporize that women children babies grandma grandpa everybody gets it boom

I mean who the fuck is going to be nice after that takes a long time to forget that shit who's that baseball Japanese baseball guy me a little extra for you know cuz when I find Washington State I'm Bainbridge Island just want to be beautiful Jesus we're not all we got in that war late man we don't give us something up shit for that either

yeah this is what's in the guy from Star Trek isn't wasn't he has his name but George Takei Japanese internment when he was a little kid. Can you sure but it definitely was moving to

that's amazing if you had a great present though only two eight years it's like the only gig or when you're really is it has so much power for like this you just can't keep running this you got to give up the reins like everybody has to give up the reins who never let the best person run it forever what's Clinton got a head of steam on Durham speed is carnal desires and just sent Seasons right but how many years do you think the public would have kept them in like see if you had a guy like Barack Obama how many years if they just let him go until he doesn't want to do it anymore until we don't want him doing any more how many years do you think you can keep doing it might be able to do it for musically

Take Years nor to see real world benefits if you take the actual campaigning out of it you know they're really only present for 2 years cuz it's like they're campaigning on the way in and then the camping on the way out and it's like no that's for all of our government and light now we're all victims of that so it's sad but I was trying to explain about the amount of time that a congressman or Senator any politician spend raising money versus the amount of time that they spend actually doing their job it's closed in handing out of metal to Soldier and then you go see the actual political fundraiser. So boring it's like Cory Booker standing on a basement floor on a Sunday morning and there's no glamour to it at all now they have to work gig if I took you to the three

how to show up where politicians have to show up to raise money you'd be screaming at your age and going are you fucking kidding me with this microphone right there. There's no food that is a picture

you know why anybody would do this freaking job of being of I'm going to try to help people put all your business you know what truck was the only one that did it with a built-in giant audience right from the jump like right from the jump had a giant on its people going crazy towards Hillary or not right now the Senate she would have been president she just around the house for just being a lady said of being a politician that's true she probably would have been in some ways right she was almost like hindered by the fact that she was Bill Clinton's wife if she was just a senator by herself with and a lawyer who became a senator and she probably would have way more of a shot of winning same person

bright people always say you know what did Bill what what what did Trump Do For the Working Man he entertain them like I said show is great people love that show it's true they serve you click on the on the stories first accidentally spelled something wrong right top news story that's already have all these new charges being brought up that I didn't know about a new people working in the rain dance like it's a crazy it's like watching crazy Salvage in a hotel with your wife like for some reason you caught in like the three or four hour news cycle is she the same story whatever it is like one more detail

you know I'm going to get a phone call cuz now I could be a panelist I know everything you know you know like we figured it out he was wearing shoes but I used to watch TV new shows. I love I love I like the I like watching the whole day bike cycle you know I just think it's especially when it's something like an event that's happening and you get to see you know them figuring it out because they can't wait for it to know this whole story now because he has to be immediate so you got you got to see them like Star you know and it's like it's like on a journalism School something bad happened here and then breaking news we've been told they don't know exactly what the fuck's going on that's definitely like you know my mom you know we have she has some memory issues like that but like waiting till 6 to find out what happened in the world you know I like that

those days are over can you imagine if we did the new rule about what they used to do back in the day they would interrupt yes and I was excited we have some terrible news I was sitting on the bed with my dad watching Monday Night Football and Cosell just changes mood all this alright the music Beatles Legend John Lennon I thought you said Jack Lemmon was assassinated outside his apartment and that's like remember broadcasting Howard when the moon launch took off there's no moment now where you're like

I remember certain I just remember certain broadcaster announcing a certain thing no no you here one version of been here so many versions of it you forgot which one you heard first when I saw the you don't know which one's true when I saw it the first time I saw on television I didn't know I don't know who said it I don't know who is giving the newscast didn't doesn't even register just have to be lievable that was he had that was definitely a local news Mama cuz I was in New York and my mom cuz turn on the TV and then we could see the coverage right there so it's like that was before the web where where you can go like okay I'm going to get deeper into this was like waiting on the next bit of information so I was laying in bed in New York and I found out from the great newscaster Ralphie May who screaming

he was in LA and he's just trying to I heard sirens in the back of my dream cuz the ambulances are running down Broadway and I turned it on just to see the second tower fall down and but Ralphie he was my to Ralphie miss that guy this year he was so funny I always saw him in weird places with Dave

like eyes were fouls he was really good and you know that right out of Texas and he's such a good guy that old laptop in River Oaks there was a lot of great Comics those local guys they had quality local, it's like you would do a set there and the guy we share you guys are funny and and you remember like the whole mess of the Texas outlaws like I used to eat that up I was like tell me another story I want to hear another story first time I ever did that club

I never said Jimmy pineapple one of the Outlaws early Outlaws will show them to you know Marron Marron was one of the guys that was with him in town I didn't know that comedy Outlaws

funny dude though I don't want to put any new stuff out there still a good guy though I work for them was really nice of all time and I did my Warner Brothers CD there 1999 wow yeah that's fucking club was so hot it was packed tight ceiling wild motherfukers Texas people wild Texas Pete, Good Times fun nice people that are smart but they're also would like to get fucked up I don't know where I am you don't know where you are I'm waiting to hear on my schedule exactly yeah yeah you know we were preparing for the tapings and he never text me back and I'm like we're walking by this

just come in and look and he literally looks at the iPhone like it's the enemy of the people the guy goes you could do anything on those you could text you can make a point you can do anything you can write you later to record your shows and I don't go pass an iPhone to feel like you know that's pushing it cuz now it's like the up to 10 right onto an iPhone take how many Rocky movies are there how many Rocky movies are there a great I guess it is cuz it's working off of the actual Narrative of Rocky Michael B Jordan is talking about boxing Roy Jones jr.

listen don't do that Michael just don't do that I'm damn sure he's a great athlete is a beautiful kid got a great body looks like he knows that a box when he throws punches it looks like you really actually knows that a box I'm sure he's a really good athlete still a brick shithouse rat you become a box in there with a maneuver hero me and you clip them and hurt him I mean it is it is a humanly possible thing like when two people throwing punches at each other that one of them can hit the other guy but the downside is just ruined by Joan Juniors one of the greatest boxers of all time and still to this day knows how to box know he forgot how old is he's pushing 50-49 yeah he's pushing 50

it's like who would you like to box who's your hero how many rounds though but I pray for him to death probably just like that is not registering to say it's an asshole thing that probably would kill you in his prime would just beat you at jr. when he was in his prime you were just waiting to see if he was in an oz song they said Roy Jones is in the new Mike Tyson's Roy Jones it's in this is like in the 1990 people forgot how good Roy Jones jr. was he was putting his hands behind his back and then knocking people out he was doing ridiculous she knocked out light heavyweight champion Virgil hit with a body shot have the contacts okay

after all your training for the Creed movies all time do you want to step into the ring with whether it's a boxer wrestler by Roy Jones knocked my ass out but like right now I could be by and he was right now since he did not know you had a few drinks

when he said he was training with Rocky that was the best part is awesome plays a good superhero movies who's a good bad guy in that movie but you know I just shouldn't answer that just made a mistake and Young Thug Life everything's going well now and again built like a goddamn superhero different thing that's going to be happening if you're standing in front of Roy Jones jr. it's a different thing he's got a computer that's many many times more robust than yours when it comes to box just taking the punishment it's not like you know it's like okay that's about as soon as you can see a concussion you never acted galaxy outside for you up on it and it's like when they're born

what's his name out of the box in Pulp Fiction me he's jacked I'll look at them seriously difference between learning how to box and being a good athlete like he clearly is and being Roy Jones jr. the Gap is so why it's so it's like if I did a movie about playing basketball and then I wanted to you know play a one-on-one versus Kobe Bryant Shadows at the movie star bro I'm sure he knows what he's doing Roy Jones jr. is one of the greatest of all time he was a Phenom he knows how to box in a way that you never going to understand so how long has it been since

Roy Jones had a fight with in the last 2 years I think his last fight was I want to say was 2 lesson 2 years ago I think you were tied at a bunch of fights over and Russia he actually became a Russian citizen Jones jr. all right just just this is a different thing it's one thing if you're like a top-level pro right now and you feel like you would have got knocked out by Roy his prime but you can give him a go right now okay. I. Is that believable you're a professional boxer you been honing your craft in the gym for years and years you been spying work with high-level coach excited he's still Roy Jones jr.

still Roy Jones jr. even though he's 40 boxing match here and he's looking good I mean he's obviously not fighting a guy who's the best in the world if you're out of bed early in the morning but if you know if he wants to really do this we could do this I would love to see that

of course I said video real contact and 500 review apologize things he said in the video he said I think he would probably have killed me back in his prime

how do you beat you now even though you are 49 morning because that's right take me to eat once we understand what boxing match to see how I really feel so that's why I think he can really get right to where you could step in there like

for him

about 45 weeks

Todd Todd Michael please listen to me don't do this summer call StubHub just don't do this that this is this is not going to work out well especially if they're I would assume both of our not going to be drug tested I don't think either one of them wants a pee in a bucket if they if they just let Roy Roy go to dr. Feelgood this is going to be a route this is me terrifying this is a new superhero movie to me I got to go to train for Roy Jones jr. like don't do it but since this is a new John ra of TV show up the real guy versus the guy who played in the movie I want to see doctors against got you play the doctor wants the astronauts against Kaiser would fix her and ask her I want to see it off

said if he was on the plane I never heard him say that you who knows what the fuck you would do if you thought that you were just going to land somewhere for now that's the idea that you knew what was going to happen before it happened nobody knows my wall that shit's going down Sims got box cutters they're holding a waitress there holding a stewardess by the neck like you you don't know what the fuck's happened you have no idea what's going on Friday to move you know I'm sure there's a lot of people would step up but you you know you could potentially cause that personal life

and then when the plane lands that person's dead when they may be a lot if you don't know right you don't know the actual snare-oh now obviously we know it was horrible thing and you should do whatever you can to stop them cuz they're going to kill everybody no matter what but back then you didn't know if someone just took the plane and landed in a stewardess and then they cut her face off

it's like in in those moments when you don't know what's going to happen to I was on that plane okay it with my kids it would have went down like it did it would have been a lot of blood not first class cabin than me saying okay we're going to land somewhere safely don't worry

see I see where he's coming from right he's got he's got kids and he loves got a family that he loves he wouldn't have said still in his mind he probably has a conviction even if it meant getting everybody's life would you at work if it didn't want like what do they have to know what they have box cutter they have anything else how many of them are there you don't know like to know is anybody going to back you up anybody else know how to fight you know how you could get fucked up you could you could step up thinking you're Billy badass and this guy is some train. Dre and cuts you up with a box cutter that could happen to you could be that's why there's professionals right that's why there's professional those are Marshalls assess the situation and figure out and obviously you know they weren't either they weren't there on that plane or they couldn't help

how could you let me know who the fuck knows what you would do well since I look like I'm on the other team I would have said my friend

yeah you'll be you know I've never been so scared that your Frozen instant for a second you can't know what the right thing to do is and the wrong thing could be so catastrophic you don't know how to say like that he's making announcements on the plane and this is all happening like a beast he gets to be the hero that's true, thanks for going to receive it that's what I would assume that statement at least that's how he felt like fuck that I'm laying in this fucking playing compliments terrorist and billions of people here that nigger what and then all these people get to assess your your statement whether or not has any makes any sense like what do you do you take care of his ass

sure I know a lot of dudes who if they were there and you try to do that you get smashed like this scary people in this world with you ready to die like that you have a very strange kind of conviction to you know you're ready to die and you know how to fight like a wolf

Jesus I don't mean who knows but it's like the idea that you would have to think about it that's what's really terrifying what do you mean the idea that you would have to think like what do I do if something is someone does hijack a playoff situation run get shot down and they go the wrong way and

or any time of tragedy like that happens like what the fuck horrific random set of sequences and you're in the wrong spot for sure I wonder what Uncle Steve did in that situation

Salata

seems like those fucking things are happening more and more lately all the time is is the rate more accelerated now than it's ever been before as well as the numbers of these like shootings and shit

what is happening at what the fuck is going on that this keeps happening they happen like every couple of days there's like a little one like a two or three people one runs like not that big a deal anymore that's what it was one of those about knives and swords people would go on a killing spree but now it's become more people and you know not everybody would die with a knife

London has a bunch of knife attacks London has so many knife attacks at their their their murder rate exceeded New York City's murder rate with just knives Google. Make sure it's true that machete attack the fucking president or the mayor of President the mayor of London was saying something that they won't tolerate knives anymore can have knives sound sounds better I know but everybody like why did New York State have a guy who's off his medicine he's just like walk around with a hammer you know so it can happen it doesn't really matter what the weapon is London has overtaken New York for murders for the first time in modern history after surge of knife crimes across the capital verdict The Selective use of Statistics from the start of 2018 appeared to bear this out but the reality is that New York still appears to be more violent than London yes I thought that was written

you love it it's great I haven't been there as much in the last few weeks but when I'm there to all summer I was there you're a biscuit or Freedom guy I love the way you live in your life you just fly to hear you fly there have you been to his houses or have you been doing I've seen photos of the pool is awesome the New York one is there you know how many gold Phantom Fifth Avenue Co-op recommendation

that's hilarious New York it's all rules so many permits I'm going to out guys shooting you see the photos of people like running towards the border and gas coming out of him... The whole idea is a big group of people headed towards the back what's going on here what it looks terrified imagine what they are leaving to come in that for sure yeah but it's crazy that it's all like this planned out event like everybody's watching the migration slowly over the Border did someone posted about Obama in 2013 the deal during the Obama Administration wasn't like Obama was talking to your gas over the phone

two guys on an illegal immigrant as well but if I wasn't I don't think it was this kind of thing this this kind of thing seems like that's what I felt like you know like a despot or you know it's political and economic that's why we're here but then we got to a point where it's just about just about they want to come here it's about what's at home that they got to get away yes yes and then they go wow maybe we don't have to be in this gang

sure maybe I can get my kid out when he's 3 instead of watching them diet 15 yeah and have opportunity mean that's what everybody wanted the came here in the first place it's just at this point if you're a poor person Guatemala I mean how hard is it to immigrate to America if you don't have any skills you have a very short education Scott to be really fucking hard to become a u.s. citizen Prime super difficult you got to be super Brave I would go to learn another language to really figure out how to get through all the other countries in the new America you don't have to learn it but it certainly helps if you want to thrive are we going to Costa Rica have you been down there yeah like everybody I know has been there like this is the place like I'm going to move here after I retire so you know that might be like a good second place you know we'd girls and Coke in front of my daughter while I was holding her hand looks like that and surf lessons

5 year olds hand does outraged she's like Coca-Cola discount everywhere man date they eat Oreos they open them up into the white part first date so many orders we were concerned we really should we really give the monkey a cookie mean cookies are toxic it's all sugar we give the monkey the monkey took that thing pop the top side of Oreos in the monkeys right there at my Oreo man I want to see if they have no fear of people there there's their big D definitely size you up cuz I'm sure they wanted a dick head humans and dangerous

a group but I don't know I was holding it and we were entering I was hosting the gong show pilot a million years ago and I was entering with a fucking chimp holding his hand or no see matching Tuxedos and I got along with him all day rehearsals and then whatever when that ban kicked in the lights were in the Roland the August show me really I don't think so

oh that's make sense man I probably hurt his ears probably so confused all the people there doesn't speak your language and what the fuck you're saying right wow I have a good monkey story nobody has any good one I had I do like where I was on another TV show and those they had the monkey had to go hey like whatever Clarabelle whatever your name is this is Dave shake hands and the monkey didn't even stop hugging that person just let the foot come up and I shook their foot cuz their feet are like hands as like how cool is that I can get over there was like if you could shake hands with with your feet like when you do it all the time so I got to hey what's up okay so I can keep doing my other stuff that's really cool I just shipped feehan's story but I still think that's a good monkey so that's a win for both communication

but then in a parrot's of course we can talk about it all night people keep parrots as pets and then they die cuz parents live to be like 90 years left in it erase history.

He's screaming take your pills take your pills always there and talk to them you want to be around you all the time parents are smart man they do not like it just left alone if you think going to be some asshole as a cute bird sitting in the cage the middle of your living room. I'm interesting that part needs hey hey that's right they want attention like come on motherfuker I don't want to just sit in this cage let me out let me out on TV parents are smart man the reason why they are not smart smarter or dumber than else

on my way to the next Al joke that's my big thing well we know the Ravens are really smart there's a super smart they solve puzzles and shit like scientist who set up all these puzzle Raven for the a stick and then use the stick to get a longer stick and use that stick to get the get the food out like multi-step like problem-solving Ravens can do weird chat there but we know that you know a bunch of bunch of other different birds are pretty fucking smart but I don't know the house all the time and they are fascinating to watch they they really like to show off and all those Predators have to be smart and smart to get along. They're picking up squirrels and rats shit like they're doing the firebombing of the sky and things up from angles that only they understand in his backyard sitting down having a cup of coffee

Eddie's sod of land on top of his fence and then out of nowhere this Hawk just a hundred fifty miles an hour ahead to a landed safely Park Hawks if I was a dog with kids

how to do with beard all the plane will that would make him motivated. Movie play Micky Ward I'm looking but I'm sure he's a smart guy and I'm sure he's a great athlete I'm sure he probably knows how to box little bit but if you got a box of garlic bread you know you do you start the amateurs and you learn how to box when you become a professional and then one day you box Roy Jones jr. Combat Sports as you're getting hit so it's not like someone's dunking on you could you play basketball with Kobe Bryant you going to get lit up you going to look like a fool but you're not going to get hit few boxes Roy Jones jr. you're going to get hit

had we going to get dinged Michael B Jordan got knocked out during the Creed filming acts by with an accidental punch that landed where they said at the last minute but didn't earn it quick enough and you got clipped and dropped maybe that's why he knows he can take a punch now well I mean it the way it was like you take the punch then turn your have it look like you took the punches too little too hard that's real right but didn't really real gloves boxing I love those movies and things like this see right there that's real that's real see the way his head snaps in his eyes go play that again. That's real I know what a real knockout looks like I've seen a thousand of them in

that's a real knockout watches look at this he fucked up and he's ignorant

he ran right into the punch his head snap back his eyes rolled behind his head and he went to unconscious that is 100% legit knock out what he was saying he didn't have any power behind it so he was knocked out if you could KO someone easily just doing that that was perfect punch was a perfect punch that landed on his job that's the key the key is that he was turning his head into it and he didn't think it was coming and he took it right on the job if you want play Washington game cuz I didn't see this happening anyway the choreographing how the sequence is going to go and somewhere along the line either is a miscalculation or mistake was made

even though it's not the most powerful punch in the world faster than I thought to punch okay so his weight is behind that his shoulders behind that that's a guy who's punch people in the face before he knows exactly how to do it so even though he's only doing it like this even though it's only doing that so how you think if they put it out on perfect hard training you're doing for this and you know there was an accident on the side you got knocked out he's bigger and stronger now he's either way, career boxer I mean this is unless he's like so old

talking do you think he's going to be here this is crazy talk but him saying that to do it and then he would go out and do it would feel like to be in a real fight it take a beating yeah man Lucky Charms Junior just gets you into the third fourth and fifth round you're all your adrenaline dump dump is gone because you're not used to boxing of world-class boxer in a professional mass is on pay-per-view the millions of people watching that you said I experience experience is taxing it's nerve-racking you going to have all this adrenaline rush to your body even if you the list of chill do sure you going to be just a little bit too amped up so then around that second round comes in he starts he even and you can't breathe that good and you just kind of like Royce just kind of boxing you just boxing you is not hurting you

done a little bit then the third round moves in and he starts moving left and right common and stinging ujar the jab step name of the lead hand uppercut teed off on and now he's talking he's dancing his moving around on you you can't defend them cuz you're exhausted and you get away he's too good

John said that he says he probably can go long and hard on me cuz he's all trained up but do you think he would come out I'm like Full Tilt in the first round or two and just like really like take him to school you know I should beat him down because when you get real aggressive is when you get hit cuz when you get really aggressive so you can find know you're coming at me I'm running out of time and space I need to get something off as you're coming at me cuz I know where you're going it's too dangerous when you don't know if someone's coming or going but some is not we don't know if they're coming or going that's when the fight is weird for the beginning of every fight people are feeling each other out they don't know if I know that you're just running at me and I'm Roy Jones jr. I'm going to step back and I crack you and I'm going to crack you in a way that you probably don't see coming probably won't see you in the gym too much I'm just going to stiff arm you with a jab pop you and plays step to the left

is going to keep doing it if you keep chasing after I'm going to still get to get fucked up to get your face punched in so the only other thing is like you got a box of the greatest boxers of all time and you just finished going to just figure you out like what you got what you do when I do this what happens when I do this happened here when the move and when you're going to get tired start dropping bombs on you it's going to be awful would you ever expect a few matches first and then get to talk to you just having a good time to run with the name is Tony bellew that's that guy's a legit boxer he just got stopped by that badass Russian motherfucker on

top-flight boxer so for him to knock him out of course it's just he's so good man so for him to do it accidentally makes complete total sense

wow look at that guy's a beast man that's like a legit Top Flight box or so he's in there even just accidentally getting punched in the face by Michael Jordan to recover and get back to training and end in filming after that it was always like I know right you know they were like they were like basically punching bags you know that I guess mainly she was prison jacked that was like maybe the scariest Tyson ever like they could use them and all you've been doing in jail is because I don't think he could box in jail so I think he was just lifting weights remember you was super duper Jack when he got out of jail he was yeah

good there it was the most terrifying looking Tyson ever he just looked like he was made out of steel

just a tank of a man and I'll never forget the fucking way in or the stare-down rather cuz doing this tear down Peter McNeeley signed up for that fight knowing that he's a tough guy who's going to take a fucking bitch speeding that's what he signed up for he knew what he was doing he knew he's going to give it at all but he knew if you had a bet most people are not betting on Peter McPhee yeah but you could see it in Tyson's face when he staring him down this is crazy but he's following him everywhere he goes like a predator dude it's like a predator who can't wait to get the green light to let the genie out of the bottle watch this

this is Tyson's first fight like Lucy Peter McNeeley kind of looking down and you look over time to look at his eyes and your smile and try to like he's trying like make light of it oh my God he looks just like a prison guard that's really hard here after The Green Mile hair Mike Tyson

I sat next to Tyson after the at the Charlie Sheen roast and made a lot of jokes about him and afterwards dice, I didn't really no dice of the time and call me like a couple weeks later he's like Captain Stacy like he's like he's like basically said that he couldn't believe I said those things to Mike Tyson like he was offended I know what you mean what do you have any idea what that could have gone and that we've been friends ever since I've been true I didn't think about it like a pussycat

Lucky You by the end of the night I'm literally like laughing

I loved it take jokes he can take jokes but you wouldn't want to be doing that would do the mind he's basically the only celebrity ever pull off a face mask right about FaceTime Manson well those of those Mumble rapper dudes that like post Malone type characters tekashi69 the he was the first by a long stretch and you're saying is if you pull that off still Mike Tyson any more new pictures once I get them removed

face it doesn't even look like a tat that's cuz it's fresh cuz that's like right after it got made it still there let me see that but now it's yogurt it's the second time is that today though so they're all over the place that is always smiling ever since you got out of jail at the happiest guy in the world for real he's got a beautiful wife why is there ice cream like right there like this wouldn't even get the real ice cream ice cream cone somewhere else

but the turtles take some the mean out of the text to your face no tattoos. I'm going out I'm going with watch out gerbil ahead and Hebrew this is only tattoo is preposterous Keep On Truckin

I'm right about this right now just looking for new well says Keep On Truckin we used to have it with Tony Danza you said like Keep On Truckin

only thing that people used to say why was cool I'm sure how to Keep On Truckin patch or t-shirt I'll be there baby that was one right Keep On Truckin nobody had hanging. Hang in there baby tattoos right why am I saying nobody sure to shut the fuck up you can put it near your tape sold four and a half that I don't even have one of these that was a good one to give you the rock that show it was fun and that was a great show that should never taken off the air pump in Mike's now

but I hope it's not a I hope it's not a bad like I give him always a hat from every sure he always helps me out and it's like they thought they don't know where the shows that's not true I'm okay this is our moment I don't believe it took took us about yours. Even it was pretty quick from Montreal to a year later we shot it but like I feel like it's also like about our friendship or whatever you want to call it for 25 years so it kind of puts a nice button on it it's the first button baby what you doing over there to do a bed still want to leave my ashes. Coffee kind of straw

works great low Spectrum people watching our show you can wish watch David as cigarettes you learned a lot of my weird dice was the reason why I put it in my gas prices in quite a while but last time we did the podcast time off I think for a while you just bring them on Facebook he's smoking his new podcast recently and I'm over here he made me he made me pretend he was half an hour late even though I was 10 minutes to go in the studio and just wait and talk to myself basically that he has to come in pretending he's late but that was that was the only directions for an hour and a half so funny man that's a very me up so much is opening for Ray Romano and pick

while but last time we did the podcast was he did they smoke the last time before that takes time off I think for a while you just bring them on Snapchat recently and it's at I'm over here he made me he made me pretend he was half an hour late even though I was 10 minutes to go in the studio and just wait and talk to myself basically that he has to come in pretending he's late but that was the only direction for an hour and a half so funny man that's my first time so my second time had lighting was opening for Ray Romano in Poughkeepsie and dices at the height of his Fame I'm dressed like it had to be at work as I can I'm a jersey comic 1990-91 entices at the at the Poughkeepsie civic center right next door to the Comedy Club

dice's at the height of his Fame I'll dress like I'm I get had to be to get to get work as I can I'm a jersey comic 1990-91 entices at the at the Poughkeepsie civic center right next door to the Comedy Club

and

our hotel we heard ice was staying there people pulling the fire alarms it's like there's like the biggest bass Rockstar finally our show on of his shows on Saturday Friday night now Ray Romano's headlining at Poughkeepsie

whatever Club in Addison and just I'm up there I'm doing my 10-minute opening into the darkness this guy kind of recognized from like you know news articles was club soda Kenny comes through the darkness with a note Friday night and the notice says Please welcome the Undisputed king of comedy Andrew Dice Clay as I read it oh my God 15 minutes and then came up as the headliner who was not known at all he wasn't on TV yet and killed raise a great comic comic no matter what just happened Ray was in his prime back then to open up for red Jimmy's comedy alley in Queens

Bo it done something on HBO but he was just a machine man people get people didn't realize how I mean he hasn't put a lot of stuff out there in a long time ever since Everybody Loves Raymond you know a lot of stuff as far as the stand up anything until I can kiss is like his first real hour so I know he was working with Kevin James I heard he still murder, he was always so funny and you can always kind of someone wants to drive it like you could airdrop him anywhere in his act will kill people relatable listen to the same stuff now but he's another guy I could be a nicer guy

kind of weird how that ass hole for the disappear eventually you don't even know where they evaporate to when I'm still here before you're an American right now that's my blood in a way that you feel more comfortable Comics would be if the other Comics didn't want you around that's where it gets fucking dark man right

like if you fucked up like the whole thing is to be friends with the comedian in self you know you can pull yourself out of the world that a Combi stroller you started did you feel like on a desert island by yourself or did you find community of the other clubs or I never found the same thing I bet I just kept working and I was working with Ari and Joey and Duncan I still kept working those guys so it was like I was working with most of the same comics and I was just doing practice at the ice house and remember all that just to me it was it was you know the Hang was on the same that has no there's no place to hang out it's not like the saying I don't get to do for sure you get to do stand-up on the spot roast battle main room or and whatever you figure out in the parking lot without ever going to podcast in the basement

never leave me I could do everything in that place because one night I did two sets in the main room one set in the belly room and one set in the OR cuz I was to show that's crazy to me and I'm going to sign night I'm rolling like Civilization everything from Harvey Weinstein to like his own inner fucking craziness that's that's the 20 minutes so it's like I get spoiled when they see so many great acts like just come by and just like for like 10 bucks 20 bucks whatever they get to see you know Chris Rock or you know you Joe and like to suck people dropping by and still like is it like this all the time like you don't even get it you just saw $500 show for like you know two drinks you know I always say that to the people at the salary

he is right there a tribute all this to the thing that you hate how fun it is to go go to see you at the store and then I'll go see you again 6 months later Netflix for sure Comedy Central for sure all those things definitely a tribute to it but it was off the charts in the fact they can just type in right now Jeff Ross stand up comedy foom and instantaneously get it and a lot of those clips come from Comedy Central right and it's all but I think the big important fact it was his new channel of distribution that's the internet whether it's Netflix which is probably one of the biggest thing right now

stand-up comedy specials ever right and there's never been a thing like Netflix episodes any special like you can do be more creative with how you present your art you could write that in the same place special is completely reinvented lately you could do whatever you want Netflix is perfect because you know you don't have to get to control what you see you know when you can watch it and stop it and then watch it more

the episodes he's got up with nowhere that remote is like that she had another episode episode episode starts I heard that you got to see the new Mike Judge animated show about country music called Road stories from something that sounds great, no my friend right now I was just talking about it on his podcast was it called Tales from the tour bus supposed to be all like Gunplay and drugs country music

this one yes that's it

other was all country guys yeah I thought so too but there's a different

sweet cheeks separate Seasons Highwayman click on Highwayman Willie Nelson Willie Nelson Waylon Jennings Kris Kristofferson and Johnny Cash that's an episode

that's just the song Highway been so that's the song that they all got together that Mega group O O I fly a Starship Across the Universe divide

and when I reach the other side that's so creepy song writes about the Carnation and dude yeah you never fade away people build built this country LED sweating but getting them all together I wonder what that was like I know right those those guys today

how is Young Gunner doing going to voice its already 3:30 I'll wow time flies when you're amazing babe hey man this is so fun to be able to express yourself in

thank you what's so fun to have you guys on I fucking loved it I wish you were here more often we could do this anytime you want to do it you know you get to us but you're great to Comedy and honestly I have to tell you you know you for the young guys when they heard that I was going to be on here and they were like basically screaming cuz you are the shit you really are meant to stop making me feel bad that you're helping I'll do it I'll do it I will hook you up to give you one with velcro it's even better I like velcro exact right amount of distance you know you have to rely on those buttons to the holes rug is going to pick up his kids and take them out for Elkton I can only imagine the amount of March your kids have to come up but on this this shirt all the birds have people bringing kids

is jamming Dave Attell you can find on Twitter but doesn't the internet onto and a shout out to all the food drive in Philly the other day or Preston and Steve was awesome and yeah they really are cool and this is like when the biggest one in the country was great to be part of it somebody cool comics there so I would just say thank you again for having it for Jonah love you guys bye

thank you everyone for tuning into the podcast and thank you to all our sponsors thank you to the motherfuking cash out on the cash app folks

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beautiful I love the cash out but I love what they do thank you also to me undies the softest I'm packing meat my me and he's right now get 13% off your first pair free shipping and 100% satisfaction guarantee yes meundies.com Rogan that's me undies.com Rogan for my all-time favorite underwear and last but not least were brought to you by Squarespace if you need a website and you like I don't know what to do your solution is at squarespace.com Joe you go there try it for free I'm telling you you can make a fucking bitch in website squarespace.com Joe get a free trial then when you're ready to launch use the Opera Kodjoe to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain Papa that's it okay we did it

okay thanks for truly appreciate you people and I will see you soon bye bye