#1225 - Theo Von

Jan 15, 2019

Theo Von is a stand-up comedian, television personality, host, and actor. Check out his podcast called “This Past Weekend”& "The King & The Sting" with Brendan Schaub both available on iTunes & YouTube. 

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the only limit is your imagination you or do you zoom you know what I'm talking about but if you don't find out visit Zoom. Us and set up your free account today meet happy with zoom Video Communications set up your free account today at Zoom. Us my guests on the funnies human beings of all time for sure legitimately dude makes me laugh as hard as any person other than Joey Diaz group for the Great and Powerful Theo Von

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a real big baller Jenny I want to show you

through your sweater

inside that's what sweatshirt you weren't it's very cool but this is a this is a symptom of everything is wrong

are we on yet yet we're on its got fake short sleeves or short sleeves over long sleeves so the the short sleeves are sold in how's it work then just a short sleeves this Sleep part so it's two pieces yet so it goes all the way over the top OIC so do you wear the two of them together or they buy just sold on I just bought it there's a whole Rocky thing that this company did a whole bunch of pieces and I was like that's kind of cool Sylvester Stallone is slated to come on the podcast you will wear that correct and he's here please so is that but that the Opera shirt is just laid over the tops shorts long sleeve shirt so you can wear one without the other what you could wear the short sleeve 100k

it comes it comes as a is it heavy or is it like we are here and if some shit goes down I may have to bolt from the podcast because there's mandatory evacuations all around here really live on Ventura County does all these mandatory Bees honey bees is it really yeah they're making too much honey no worry, they're going to die is it what is it one time that a bunch of bees on their huge hives man in a lot of homeless people and they don't do anything but when be show up they fucking get to do and shit you know that's one thing I noticed quickly yeah is it an interesting how to get motivated by bees show up to communicate with each other

set of Fear Factor and we covered the people with bees and then a neighboring Colony economy that actually live there local, I came and was like what are you guys doing here and the bees all flew up in the sky together and sort it out in the sky really was wild we haven't lived the guy told us like The Beekeeper is like everybody going to stand down going to back up get out of the area so I have to communicate I thought he was joking let them do it subtly we sort of get what they do they're kind of like little little kind of Liaisons it seems like like a certain animals can Mike

you know check messages around for us and like if you told an animal something I could go tell you no like a wonderful start using animals more as animals are we will use them that much and then there were sitting around most of the time right I read something about they were trying to encode information in DNA we could ask Mike Tyson about his pigeons how about Game of Thrones send a raven yeah yeah for sure but whatever forever reason it makes more sense with birds yeah

Ober you could train some birds I think summer that they would do their own thing was that goddamn thing to eat and what is an eagle Jacksonville the fate of your kingdom is enhancer Gail all that's a good move Justin Bieber that nobody wants to shoot though it shoot Birds owl to do we had a towel two thanksgivings ago we had two hours at my sister's house and I saw one last night actually it was pretty cool I hold into the driveway in an owl took off who's Bay to its gross I think owls the meat if you ate them you saying yeah but the

well I don't have a lot of a joke about it I don't have a hot man I don't know I think a lot of meat on them if there is a fucking a like owls their predators are important I was riveted their PR you notice everything so smart and they can read and they're like they had a good PR yeah right look at that butt is on him you think there's more look at these kids look at that that's what that's what it really looks like a turtle looks like when he's old enough love

the road and dropped a rabbit he got a rabbit and jacked it and flying with the rabbit and as he was fine just decided like maybe decided the car was too close to him was too loud or somebody just drop that rabbit to fuck it and I stopped the car and to check it out so low as flirting really a sounds like yeah like an offering because I got for you more where that came baby we never thought of them growing up is Predators they told us they were wise they had that Monica like fucking the like Budd Friedman from evening at The Improv his whole deal was he a table I love using the Improv when I was a kid or saw it a man that was like one of the reasons why I got into stand-up comedy ISO watch these TV

syndicated TV shows that they would do you know VH1 had one MTV at the half-hour Comedy Hour what time did it come on at I don't remember man he'll take that Planters nut he sold it eventually and chit chat and cashed out interesting

love frames out there but anyway bud ran he was the host of evening probably would come out with that monocle go to back that Monica picture again lower left damn those Google Budd Friedman evening at The Improv the guy always very very friendly a very gregarious guy and he was one of the original owners of The Improv and if you can prop I don't know I don't know the full history The Improv I probably should but I think I'd want to see it started out New York yeah cuz I know there were there were ones everywhere at one point on the head want to Boston for a little bit

The Improv yeah yeah that they had one in Boston and then they change it to a different name stand up comedy clubs probably one of the top two or three do you have a favorite like a club when you were like doing clubs more do you have like a favorite one was just happy to get onstage back then you know I mean I had favorite ones like Nick's comedy stop was always a favorite in Boston right Stitches the stitches moved a couple of times stitches move twice what about a need a funny Buzzard do you go to any of those places for the boxing clubs of Comedy connection was the big one and now that's the Wilbur Theatre it's really weird because they used to be the smallest Club in town everybody wanted to work it it was like a hundred

I want to say they could stuff maybe a hundred fifty people in there but I'm eating stuff that mean this room this this ceiling was low no I mean I'm 5-8 and I remember I could pretty sure I could touch the ceiling so the shit is low so if you were like Owen Smith or you know someone tall maybe too long on it's a big ass. Yeah but the last be so contained it was so low ceiling in tight I love that it was great for the first time

first time I ever saw him was there I was like whoa he was doing this pit about Jimi Hendrix meeting Tiffany at the mall Tiffany the singer alone now yeah yeah that song I make you just be a wreck timer been on the school bus so fucking erect

dude I remember that shit bro did I love being a wreck and I was young man now it's whatever now it's whatever now it looks like you got to do something we know what is my dick need me to do so I'll tell you this if you want to feed a family of four you can't just have one hour I will say that though it looks like I'm saying fucking demon who knows a real bait and switch I feel like it's one of God's hidden agendas I was talking to someone about peacocks won't kill it with a hammer what is a fuck is that you wouldn't let that thing anywhere near you kids with no feathers dark skin like charcoal cover the scary and the little Nubs all over it

looks like a little twink out on the town uh-oh creepy murder probably get us a duck bro that is so different from live Birds didn't rip in the feathers off peacock hanging talk to me yeah it's like you know I say hi to everybody I run into like door guys I always try to say hi to everybody remember what it was like when I was an open mic

could even talk could even imagine that we were the same thing couldn't talk to them you don't I mean I like to be super annoying right cuz she back it up with that was always my thing I was so stupid back then to my pretty dumb now but it was really dumb back that yeah there was no way I had anything to say that I did but I think it was a time you like you were the dumbest thing you ever been

a couple weeks ago I don't know Matt about I definitely have more data to work with now but I forgot in a lot of shit to but I do think is generally a time when people's lives when they what they should know kind of and the there's like a kind of like a middle ground or maybe it doesn't know for sure when I was in my mind you know it took me into my thirties kind of fucking shake my head losing figure out what the fuk I was doing yeah do your 20 but when you think about One Direction no idea whether or not this, things going to work out like what am I doing I'm telling jokes Jesus Christ and then tell him when you go back home and I've never seen you never heard of you they think you're gay and it's like you won't like it like you keep flying home you don't have any money and you're not bringing a girl home he having from Joe that you know just come out

I remember my step dad is yelling at me in the yard One X come out July

skate up maybe he's going to leave a job for you just come out of the closet boy like what the fuck young boys always accuse each other being gay because it's so hard to prove you're not yet someone says you're gay

crazy the worst has got to be if someone says you're gay and you are but you don't want to do that again okay that's in a mafia outfit or something like something to totally take them out off a trail you know you just wish you could see you know you wish you could tell you were a lot of places you should I mean I would love to think that everybody's like the people that are around us where they literally don't give a fuck yeah Justin Martindale or our language is funny after that it's cool to be around those are the things that are most valuable in our world funny and cool to be around bright eyes Okay trans gay funny ghost

I I I I I don't know I have some friends of the other day I was trying to give him the whole tour yeah I told him how you speak Ciro's nightclub on downstairs all the way but I show them are you go through the back room of the main room that used to be like their Hideout and shit until I told him about all the ghost stories that have been filmed but I don't believe it I don't think it's real why I think I'm surprised you don't have more ghost animals you know what I think I think it's you that's what I think for real I think when you I think you can probably tune in to something that happened in a place that's what I think and I think of you trip yourself out you could see things that aren't really there and I think that it is entirely possible the ghosts are real but that you seen the ghost is real yeah but I think that you can get your body into like such a frenzied

terrified State and if you are open to the idea that a ghost is a real thing I can fuck with you you mind playing tricks on you and I also think that if you if you hit the right frequency I bet you get who up so I could just a ghost of a memory of somebody getting killed in a place right or something horrible happening to the ghost of a memory how I think the next things you going to be able to do like a gang sign in the air a special gang sign in a fucking the truth is going to pop out right in front of you like I think we're going to start to learn playing of us lyrics are are notes in a row would reveal like the past right in front of you like I wonder if there's some you know magic little war poles or something literally changes the way your body feels like a drug like if you were a kid okay and you heard that Rock You song............. You could run faster

you would get more fired up you be able to do more push-ups or more chicken step dad probably for sure get energy from that like a drug that was a cup of coffee

right you hear that song vibrations and symbols that come out in like they're explaining what we're talking about it's just a mat that's charged yet I didn't vibrated explain what's happening with the amazing amazing amazing resonance experiment on to a black matte it's charged and then they send certain Hertz through this one's 3835 hurts and then it makes a different pattern crazy on the 3000

75 like every time they change the Hertz it has a different panel to 4049 look at this pattern take these numbers and disking also be notes that in one of those really make your butt bigger than the back of neck vibrate or something like that what if a certain that hurts to spell you like your grandparents name each one of them are different geometric patterns beautiful patterns they're gorgeous and as you change the Hertz the patterns morphe immediately and but the thing is they're kind of fractal like not fractal but they they seem to be what's the word equal on both sides it was that word I swear I'm looking for a parallel no

I think you were here on the right topic gift if the numbers little more rounds like around number these are not to be a dick hurts like if you do a specific likes wins. Wins in the same and separate in this one they're not it's not separated in half it's it's it's all like the circle is a center, and it all goes out from there but they're different every time but they're all even like see it looks the only thing that's keeping it from being perfect is that they run out of sand and it looks like the power is centered around the center part where the wires are connected to so that's the most potent but significant beautiful to that may be like that if you think about that like maybe if there's a certain hurts going through the air like in space form like

a solar system against the feeling you get from like Rocky a little drug think about why people like music so much cuz that musician is your drug dealer okay you here like some old Elton John like you're in your car and Saturday night comes on your fucking Goosebumps. If you haven't heard that song in a long time and you don't expect it

fuck yeah she had a friend on water we're looking at the thing it says the cymascope is that how you say that side cym a scope uses a high definition camera to monitor the effects of an individual sounds particular vibrations on purified water revealing for the first time with piano notes look like there's people out there so much more than you and me oh yeah it's it's amazing the word considered the same thing you know that's what people is really smart people I have some Sean Carroll in the physicist in the breakdown particle physics and shit to you you like is it hard

Quantum particles as danger dude I don't get I don't trust that kind of stuff a lot of it will how about you know what superposition is is the ultimate what the fuck were particle can be in the state of motion and be still at the same time I like well good luck with that good lucky is Magic World that you've created crazy scientist that I don't understand yeah I would rather do something more chill than that what the fuck something can sleep or something but don't you want someone to know

cuz don't you benefit from cell phones but what about that such few people know that if they all wanted to lie to us then they could they would have to be conspiracy now you starting to sound like some other people in.

Let's go get some tin foil

but I didn't know that that that that said it's funny that your body would do that the reason why they would never do that is cuz this whole deal is figuring out shit at other scientists didn't figure out that's like the best thing they can do the best thing a scientist can do is a real honest-to-goodness breakthrough would you have sex with a scientist you think glasses on yeah there was blonde in the movies right side now sometimes have dark black hair to mysterious I bet they're crediting to a few fuck a scientist clean apartment but maybe not maybe they're fucking brain is like that chalkboard with all the squiggly alien mathematics on it dirty math tattoo Richard Fineman new Fineman was fine was a scientist he was a physicist and there was an article about him like was Fineman an abuser

but it was it was talking about Richard Fineman and how you know he used to he just his wife said he's just do nothing but calculations all day and then he want to play the Bongos and he didn't want anybody to bother him but like he had a quote from one of his one of his books and it's crazy reading it's like I just see if you can find it cuz it's a really crazy crazy quote calling women bitches and I'm like what like that there were that that you know I just want to paraphrase it cuz I don't I can't deal with these bitches around here so I think he was a funny guy that's what I think it's hard it's hard when you see things in text cuz you think okay maybe he's like a really mean terrible person see I adopted the attitude of those bar girls are all beaches that they aren't worth anything and that they're all in the all they're in there for is for to get you to buy me a drink and they're not going to give you a goddamn thing

I'm not going to be a gentleman to such a worthless bitches and so on he writes that implies that this is taken out of context it's in my mind either a blank is that mean and so on that means to me what I'm getting out of this if I if I was going to guess is that he goes on the elaborate he might say this is how I felt back then and obviously changed my mind she could have been 18 you talk about this or it's 16 on I don't know what the fuk right about he also could be very funny cuz he was apparently a very funny guy so his the title of his book as surely you're joking mr. Feynman that's nice then but if it was so like if if someone said that he could you see those those same way. They're all these balls are all the bitches but it's really how he was

like me had to say this you know I don't think that's what I think is talking about when he was younger but it's so I could see that they're do you're at the bar if you don't like real loud music and all the girls are just drinking with a bunch of I'll be like all these girls are bunch of bitch is probably an area yeah girls are in there are seven of them are fucking super annoying and you say these bitches are all annoying you being super rude to those three that aren't ya and there might be some girls weird to hear a high-level famous scientist probably. I think the article they're saying the second fit yeah beyond beyond Einstein he's the second fame most famous physicist especially a scientist cuz you think a scientist would know that there's a couple of these bitches could be variable

he said that I'm criticizing himself but I don't know I'm just guessing I was hoping that it would be that bad crazy sometimes I miss being young man don't you miss it sometimes no and yes like it looks like fun to have no responsibilities and to be 20 to be backpacking around the world or doing something silly and not having a place where you have to go a bunch of bills but

on the other hand I feel so fucking ridiculously lucky that I get to be a comedian right like I don't want to try to do this again yeah I'm going to try to do this when I come doing this like yeah but to go back I just miss being young and like member an admin took a nap when you were young you could last you fucking didn't care to last for 3 days yes but I think one of the secret to happiness is to never look back at any point in your life and wish you were back there because it's not possible Right be if you didn't go through that you wouldn't be you if you would go back now and be twenty-two again and broke and fucked up with all the information you have now you got shit y'all don't know I had a fucking Netflix special out there I decide to start over like an asshole now here I am, but I'm broke I can't even afford vitamins

work out hard man I got to take care of my body that you're right I'm going to tear muscles and shit 38 shut your mouth you're fine just got to work out yeah you don't work out huh I just started getting back into it solid shape first yeah that's what I'm realizing my advice because you trying to explode and be in terrible shape and get in shape through just so you can yeah absolutely but if I was going to advise someone I would say if you're going to do something that's as physical as Jiu-Jitsu I believe that you should armor your body what I mean by that is

make your shoulders your knees your back your neck those are all areas that if you don't work out at all they could break ceptable susceptible so I would always advise if someone does a bunch of calisthenics particularly like the like the classics push-ups sit-ups bodyweight squats chin-ups those all those Classics get you just get your body a custom to resistance training right do that first then I would move from the start with a with calisthenics always start with that and then from that move into weights and kettlebells take a couple of months to take a couple months before you just jump right into Jiu-Jitsu if you don't have but if you're an athlete but a guy who doesn't do any exercise at all so rough on you yeah I used to do exercise a nice to do that we should have steroids on side of the interstate when I was growing up shoes on the side of the road why wouldn't you go

has Morgan outdoor thing I felt like you know I don't want to bring that shit in the house really but we would me and a buddy of mine to do Billy conforto actually and he passed away r i p and he died with a pills and actually drove into an embankment one time but what time he was a busboy and I was a busboy and he would and yeah we both like to go to the gym and he looked the first gay man that ever met and then he you know he one time he got us some steroids or something I don't know I think everybody was doing them and then we just we have a pull over and do and then just go to the gym you know why he went to come back 3 hours later with steroids that you want to fucking like fog no bro tomorrow

so I was just kind of trying out the comedy scene there and see what it was like

how do I get to this one I like a new user was I never wanted to get old and say that I didn't try it to try New York to never have even just six months even just have like an experience that you know well it's a hotbed for sure they did too hot beds right now or here in there yeah does it too hot beds and there's all this debate as to like which one's better whatever it's silly did such a great hotbed world-class comedians over there and then there's ones that show up there and here like Chappelle so is bounce bounce back and forth Chris Rock was always bounce back and forth Louie when he's working in here but Louise working again you start working at The Improv right now who's he kinda San Jose and if we wanted to know for sure you know I mean it's it's interesting this whole bit about the Parkland shooting you know you know that

such a Louie CK bet it's like people don't understand what kind of Comedy he did right sort of. You know but he's he's his style has always been like that I mean that he's his style is always very irreverent yeah saying fuckedupshit you can't believe you saying and you know well written and well-thought-out stuff this is stuff he's working on and is it people like you know how could he choking wasn't even that good he's chili probably wrote it that day or two days before who knows how many times has done that bit but I guarantee you the guy takes 10 months off a stand up and then he started to do it again

I don't give scared a bit I don't think I would ever I definitely wouldn't joke around about

but you can see you wasn't his best stuff it wasn't good it's like it wasn't ready yeah but maybe you could have come up with a different turn on it where wouldn't be as a defensive and will be way funnier that's what working on a bit is all about right behind when we be in the back of the room slapping the table Howland laughing yeah that's a bit that with Holtzman said we will be crying baby slapping the table we all gather around and watch him on a late nights at Ryan issue is it yeah it's a fucked-up thing to say that's kind of the point the whole art form is about saying things that are funny sometimes think things are funny or self-deprecating sometimes they're fucked up

who is different sometimes saying things that are funny is really adorable just very very Theo Von is very Theo Von really that's you you know how to do it but it's like everybody does a different folks and you know you take a set from someone who's just working stuff out and you pretended this is. He's probably half those words he saying he's probably trying to be in the moment he's probably got a place to go, I got some punch lines and hoping that he'll see something in it while he's doing it and working it out and then you listen to recording and you listen to learn yeah and then you know it just can't expect them all to be good either like a lot of immediately

can you know under that social pressure and just like you know you know probably been dealing with this is important thing to say we can't lose our empathy we can't lose our compassion tweet we have we have we should be compassionate towards victim's we could we should be compassionate towards each other we should be this this tendency to want to stop people from working and be like there's a certain amount of time where it passes and starts to look like you don't want anyone to have a path to Redemption right which is everyone's got to have a password tweeted today from my Nick christakis who is the professor at Yale I retweeted it today earlier and it it's about call out culture in these people that got

hold out for things and how it destroyed their life people you don't even know now ya one small set up a punk scene where these these two people got called out for stuff but it's like oh the subscription that God is with a subscription to subscribe New York Times bro you got to pay for good journalism I pay I'm having this account actually if you want to use my account I think I do I had one but I tried to renew the other day and I couldn't because these Cuts till my fucking American Express card I didn't get my new one yet who did the people were around an airplane yeah one of them was Toys R Us and India how do you like oh wow albinos $1 I got an ottoman what are you doing

if you bang a maybe they bang the card out for like $101 just got a snack size you're going to places to get a snack get a gum get a day with 88 cents yeah that would be a stupid thing to hit someone's card for you want to get a juul

Buck's how crazy though that but that's the future that now it's like that like I was thinking the other day that having a baby inside of your body this was going to be like the Rascal coming retro going to take it out for sure there was a baby that was born today inside the amniotic sac did you see that that's a damn goldfish razee ucuc delicate some places inside the sack mean I don't know what the story was cuz I'm a notorious headline reader I read headlines Fitness there's not a thing happens parently well I don't care if it happens all the time I want to see it around the internet today baby born and it's a video of the baby moving around inside this the sack very weird that's a damn. It is a dumpling did if your dad

what is a it's they're very small it's not.

See if you can find it hard to believe I saw it on Instagram we see that baby man do you mean baby when babies are born right when they're born look at that though that's the baby inside the sack that's one less thing to eat at seat sometimes on those game shows that is amazing that you could see what the baby looks like when it's in their holy crap that's incredible human beings as crazy as this is this one exact when I saw how crazy is that

might be upsetting for some you're about to see the amniotic sac being opened up setting that's how we exist but people are ready for life to keep you from life going to keep you from everything there it is damn the sack o shit killed right now we could see little bit a butt on that one

yeah I can't believe you do you ever think that maybe if a baby is born a certain way like missionary or doggy style that it could affect the way that they live their life I thought about that before you should probably understand how babies born to have to come out head first baby comes out doggystyle going to spin around inside the womb literally okay but what if the person is doggie style would they have the baby though yeah you kids probably going to be a freak quickly it's just a different kind of fucking yeah

it's like oh this is it yes fast or slow sometimes it depends on how you're feeling sometimes I'm a Young Man sober sex is for fucking kit is for what is this with you missing your use I just lost his loving you look at this way what are you doing I don't want to watch a son of a bitch are you crazy bitch that's melted glaciers that's a lot of first born into that and if it's if it's warm it's filled with bacteria in the river

no no you can't have a baby in your bathtub if you live in fucking Brooklyn

don't you love your kid ya look at this this lady first of all in her pussy right now and kill the baby before it even comes out they have us seven of the eight most dangerous snakes in the world are in Australia tell my friend Adam Greentree yesterday does want to believe me the brown snake Western brown snake did kill that shit out of y'all so that little fucking Creek bit speaking Australian brown snake that's how she got pregnant

did a lot of me and my sister was got knocked up never know ya almost almost almost a fuck but they will that's all they were thinking about baby names so I would assume that they had some type of interaction

I don't know I think that you're thinking about baby names in case they fucked up but at some weird planet ahead how much work on Dumber but I think you have to do if you think you might have knocked the girl up and you're still want to stay whether you like all this talk about baby you don't say nothing to you ride out that you pay off that menstrual cycle known to you know that the menstrual cycle is back around weird thing if you are you having sex with somebody and you like having sex with them but you don't like hanging out with them yeah that happens for guys and girls yeah dude it happened and girls to it happens I've heard a girl say that I got any like hanging out with them anymore but I like the fucking them it's changing out a lot more girls are being very much like guys used to be well they can be there the first birth control pill then dating apps they can get ahold of people names

about this about dating apps just like that's got to be just as weird as dating for a girl that's weirder may be right because Pikachu Mitzi the person right I mean you can see pictures of them don't see them when they're looking at your profile in the right you should be able to see how they look at your profile any given moment that's a that's a nightmare of itself yeah you think about that imagine like just people just looking at you and saying no and you're in the distance all time is bad for us some will say yes then the odds are good things you playing the numbers may be in that sense it's better because the only people to get ahold of you the people that say yes I see Miss all the Nostra is it having a debate with someone that you don't really like yeah that's a possibility if you just like them sex with them and then when you're done like I got to go

yeah can you can't go cuz the babies around I was coming as guys and girls have fuck buddies I'm almost everyone I know has had one in the past where you are in a relationship with them really like drive over and thought and then I will see you soon as you open the door the girls they're ready to fuck and then just walks off in the other direction you're not put the blindfold on you cuz you want me to look at think it's a precarious time lot of chicks are probably going lesbo this week it's the more days that the the government shut down two more women are going to go lesbian I hate men so much because of trump

bad jokes are always like I'm going to turn this guy out and that always sound so long it does work but that sounds a lot he worked on she wasn't his none actor that he worked in the world of acting and he told me that he blew a lot of straight guys that was just something that happened to have a couple drinks and pretend they never done it before and next thing you know I got that delicious. That's what a lot of gay dude say it was him doing I'm doing him but he's like you'd be amazed at how many you know you are quote straight guys are out there might be just knows how to swing it but will you do you think

is it less homosexual to jerk off with your left hand what are you left-handed writing see if he turns you off to your left hand it's where do with my left hand doesn't work as well cuz it'll take longer but you don't really have but it's understandable I think it's understandable if you do with your left hand because that's barely even your hand to my hand bro, I want to hang out with me anymore and I don't believe you. I think you have I think you said that left hand is that red that's the party moved you know because it tonight you can still use this hand and be on your phone

you can do it yourself yeah but you looking at your mentioned checking your email if you are aggressively very effective and then use your phone it looks like she was just like maybe I get a lot of gay or bi gentlemen's on some dope or so see what you doing gay things when you hold onto a dick you just got to accept that and keep moving there's a lot of baby that you're right just the next right action everything is changing now

I don't know I don't think I think there is a place is it, you do whatever you want me that's interesting things about Society is that we set up his rules and cultures and we decide what you can do and what we decide is different with a design and Holland is different when they read it it's very hard to book those rule let's just pretend it was no rules what if there was a place where guys would go and guys would jerk them off and it would have jerks if there was a place where guy straight guys got a job jerking guys off but you it shut you get paid $1,000 an hour

you don't think the straight guys would take that job straight struggling guys think it would it would it would morph and figure out a way or just over a generation to generation or two if you can make $1,000 an hour be eaten guys off yeah oil in your bare skin the ceiling with a jerk eyes off you guys do a quick even you can wrap your haters do like that release sideways like Kentucky Fried Chicken is only one better than crispy battered bulshit nobody likes that crispy batter. I'm trying to think if I had to jerk off to me

you don't say you don't get that much at well depends on what you jerking off too and you know how focused you are the tasks if you jerk off while you looking at your phone but you're not going to get a lot of how you do it like a little bit how much do you get compare it to something like a quarter no probably like maybe like an 11th of a handful I guess

I don't know how big is your hands

did I can't do you still masturbate as an adult

no I do it as a child I mean it makes me feel like I told my kids and they're not a whole things gently yeah that's true man I don't know man I actually masturbate yesterday and I feel bad about it sometimes but I just I don't know for some reason I feel bad like I was all stand up comedy culture cuz comedians have a different culture and a different way of looking at things very deep camaraderie between fellow practitioners

if that was the culture was a stand-up comedy coach was a whole world you wouldn't even be slightly embarrassed right now people tell me all the time every time yeah you know what you got an older you're more comfortable you're successful and just feel like such an obvious move if I'm still jerking office 2019 to do something about especially looking at porn

I'm not anti porn I don't want anybody to get me wrong I think she would do whatever you want to do ultimately and I think a lot of why people have bad opinions about people doing certain things that we judge people when they do certain things and we have these ideas about them that we sort of impose on them right but I think for some people porn is very useful but you have to have discipline see the thing is if you watch porn and you watch two people have sex and you get excited and you jerk off you just took care of like some sexual needs that you had what could possibly be wrong with that the only thing that could be possibly wrong with it is that there's something wrong with these two people having sex and filming it well is there like what does everybody want to fuck me I don't want to feel myself fucking but doesn't everybody want to have sex people that we have

for sure mean why do people want to get involved romantic relationships in the first place to eat not just not just be nice to each other but the fuck eventually sometimes. Each other what is it about two people fucking on film that's so distasteful well you know

you don't want people to see your special thing maybe or like what you don't you know you want to keep it private I get all those that you fancy though it with it so then it's it's not always the case process. That is just right there but it's not real life though it's not as good as good as real life but I think that it's visually it starts to get that it's better and it starts to get where like sometimes I got I like I'm 40 days off pornography right now right somebody tries to get their pussy out of my queue stop but I also had the same kind of issue with drugs and alcohol right so you have like an addictive personality personality that I think that the thing of the thing itself is not necessarily bad in for some people can actually provide a service right yeah I can help them

I want to stand why that would be bad the only thing they would say is and this is I don't know how factual this is cuz I haven't done any surveys of what I've read is that a lot of the people that get involved in that are victims of abuse that's the right you don't want to hear that but then some of them aren't some of them because they want to do it like it's not okay that seems more okay than someone who's doing it because their victim of abuse and they're Desperately Seeking love and attention and they don't know how how to do it that's a good point so then you look at it like in terms of but you just that's looking at that is like well then don't laugh at comedy right because you laugh at comedy almost everybody does comedians fucked up or been fucked over mean that's that's really why they get into it in the first place because they desperately need attention they want to be specially want to be something and look at me look at me so you figure out how to be funny yeah usually those are victims of abuse like in some way shape or form that all of them

affection they need the if they need something from people maybe six out of ten baby and I'm being good so there's so many things something good comes out of stand up right so we just accept that that's okay to laugh at these fucked up people that everything you seen everything but it's okay it's okay to laugh at the chaos that his life was because the jokes are so funny yeah you know what's it's weird right but it's not okay

to look at it look even if the girls enjoying porn if you find out that at some point in time she was molested and that possibly was one of the motivating factors that letter in the poor and then you get super weird about it yeah I think about it they should put that on thing like percentage chance of somebody that was molested in the video and I think that that would deter people from watching us something so yeah I think of sex then in frames like okay I got to meet the girl and then we have to walk over by a lot to see this going up to see that then that happened and then and now and that sex so I started to you know like interpreted that way and I don't know section just when we were young and we were fucking imagine being 16 and fucking somebody else it was 16 bro Live and Let Die when you were young

who is that Diana Ross who sings on McCartney and Wings James Bond roses that was one time where the fucking remake was so good song

ionic animagus seems to come back from the brink

yeah this who knows what kind of ego happened would all happen whenever they went to me some volume so I can hear it at least I want to hear him say that the beginning part

work out so he was 4 years he went crazy vanished was trying to make that one album forever right took many many years and it was like God dammit Axl Rose went crazy and didn't see any like Jan was a shame it was so good so good and then slowly but surely he fucking came back back like that dude tours of ACDC now

I'm on stage he's a fucking animal again he looks like heart a little bit like one of the people in heart buddies but that's just a gent I'm you know ingredients that mix will salt shrimp and write how much fun must that be to be a musician it's too much fun this is my theory and I think it's too much fun and I think they don't even have to write new shitt so because they don't have to write and it's too much fun they're out there just fucking smashing every night fucking smashing smashing shows smashing tour buses and hotel break-in Shad to smash into each other pussy just smashing crazy I beg to differ

Moscato teleprompter I wanted to be highlighted what I'm supposed to say I mean he's wearing hot pants so close with a cowboy boots with socks on a mesh top in tighty whities is it what is it that makes somebody so famous that they get close to being almost like if bisexual you think you keep bringing up all this day stuff yes you want tell me what you stepped out right now bro never been gay man never ever never ever ever never I mean how come on somebody but I'm not doing anything now so free with their expression right that they wear whatever the fuck they

I think that's a part of the culture of really huge musicians is that they get very free with their looks their sexuality like looking him with this now with his ripped up pants Axl Rose back when he's a cutie pie or David Bowie David Bowie when he was in his androgynous date of Prince I mean you can go on and on and on about men fucking Mick Jagger and Mick Jagger would swing his hips yeah pop is lipsense stuff from my phone

be more stuff from like scarves and shows that we stand at women's clothing store that's in every like little shorty it's for like kind of more you know what you're saying what's up clothes store for fat guys also suits over there on stage as part of his Sheryl Swoopes that's his younger days so that's when he had to vanish for a while right for like when you resurfaced but when he did that like you did a big concert in Brazil to write listen to that voice was kind of struggling a little bit

cuz he has such a such a scratchy voice you know very difficult to maintain but that price

dude that was this shit when I was that was like right when I was graduating high school remember I worked out this shity little gym I'll be on the leg press machine listen to whatever they have big ones out I had a Walkman with a cassette on a chair might have been a disc player Holly Hunter that's him now no it's not Holly Hunter son of a bitch a fistfight in the yard to fucking Guns N Roses bro it was a music was GNR Alice in Chains the thermal is a flannel shirt tied around the waist

what's that look like on purpose as a weird look I said Darlene Conner but hey it's not really a skirt but it's just like an accoutrement to my outfit of fake ripped pants yeah right that's a weird would you think you'd rather have like a little skirt or like being naked you think how big is did Tyler would you ever wear a fake dick around my waist talking to the front in my sock

and it would be green like a hot chick like a dark green like people you know it's fake fake fake bro fuck away from my desk in the future it just seems like everything's going away so fast man the new by Gillette commercial machine at Gillette commercial

I heard about that you can shave your buddy or some Gillette commercial every man look over and over again men doing do Shish it like hey bro are you selling razors what are you doing who fucking greenlit this I know how people get sexiest rapist piece of shit and you see that Gillette commercial another in any way shape or form

2 we're tired of that yeah don't be racist we know the disproportionate amount of people that are that's what I hate about a lot of the just a lot of these Idea Idea ology today it's like like they say everybody where I'm from is racist everybody's like you know why some Christian Bible thumping so many of the people I know we're not that at all. It's unbelievable but some of the people in some end in these other places they don't even know anybody from there so it's like they have no idea but they immediately stereotype because of your accent to assume you're not bright

indicative of what the place used to be like like what the world used to be like was like a lot of the rule Edge areas were less educated cool people in Wichita Kansas young people everywhere everywhere you go you going to run into pockets are cool people everywhere man everywhere different values and a lot of them are more community-oriented more friendly we we on this side and those on the Eastside everybody gets this idea that everybody is like the people that live all stacked on top of each other fucking like bees swarm in the high but most people don't live like that most people live somewhere where there's less folks got to relax a cat throw a frisbee and not fucking yes did most people usually the vast majority of the country is what is there 300 how many people

50005000000 brow million I'm glad it's 3:20 if I had to guess I'd say 3:20 but I'd say it's probably 2 billion so how do you know how many of them are but you can't even raise your voice and I got to drive to Riverside even fucking raise my voice I feel like like that towel too tight it is in La 308 million people in the United States 2010 but that's 2010

28-29 27 million people now bro it's new no no man we're on our way to why people are on their way to being in a serious minority yeah that's going to happen phase power bro that's what I say everybody I love all the variety but you know what it's like it's like we have nice things we can't we can't have nice things we keep breaking things we can't because of racist people you can have all this wonderful diversity so we're eventually all going to be gray we're going to be like those fucking aliens for the giant heads and we're going to have no dicks and we're all going to be the exact same thing so no one can criticize anyone on anything other than your thoughts and the others Minds when you're born

John Deere head sir like chasing fake eyelashes oh yeah you just you just have these lenses that you put on when you're indoors you peel the lenses off as a fern button in Ferndale papa Gino Foley there's something on a Foley's maybe a deer runs by the hit that side but I think nature in the future will probably be contained in these gigantic Dome like places like one of them Stephen King books and that's why you'll go to get into the nature yeah I could buy all done with Pauly Shore and Steven Paul I think that's what is going to be like there's going to be there's going to be nature places and the rest of the world would be sitting the rest of the whole plan to be sitting are our Wildlife be a bullshit Wildlife it'll be like you know ya Thousand Acres or something like that of a bunch of animals living together that's all that's left it'll be like a cat on its back

if you look at overpopulation and I'm not one of those Doom and Gloom people income to overpopulation you know why because I like people on people like in people you don't like good friends did thank you know you want to help the world don't have any kids my okay yeah I get why you would say that but don't you like people I love people people are awesome it's all I know some of them are an awesome but the vast majority are pretty cool paper bowl of being pretty cool if you're cool to them and you stabbed with sword of a community being cool with each other for your friendly so what's the problem the problem is there's too many of us and we're not going to stop right there going to want to fuck somebody right now the question is will they say

that as people, more affluent and as they become more educated they're less likely to have children or they have less children so they think that the best way to stop overpopulation is actually equity in the world quality weather in the world make make the whole world basically like America where everybody's just got a chance to get ahead and everybody has an awesome education and everybody has access to the best information but if that does happen that's what's going to curb overpopulation otherwise the people that are the least educated or do not going to have the same access to buy click in in countries where people are poor like for instance they want to have more kids cuz they want the kids to take care of them too yes that's a big thing that's a big thing and traditional communities and you know they're there tiger and you if you here's the weird thing if you talk to scientists they will tell you that arguably those were happier people happy people that live in

Villages and stuff and they all in enjoy each other's company even though in our mind it's a Hardscrabble life in other living in the third world country and available if they have access to see if they live in the Amazon or something or you can get in there a lot of food man it like I know how you would say hey I don't want to live that way so these people live in the wrong way they know they're fucking 10 kids laying on them and said they're all they're all the community in this Hut together than you like that's that looks terrible. Hot box and yeah they can arguably be happier than a comprable group of people in western civilization that you would just grab a hundred percent and why did Black him is a lot of black how much is still in the woods you notice that allow the tribes their kind of Darla I guess maybe not black but it's like a la Tina or darker like a not what she seems like a more Universal shade almost kind of like a sofa color

you're in the jungle

you're at your office in a hot climate in a hot climate you better develop some fucking Melanie Irish that's what it is is melanin they got more melanin family if you look at it I'm Italian mostly if you look at it and find some Irish for me to do but if you look at aliens who are in the sun all the time do they get dark as fuck yeah you know and if you were 7 7 plus generations of people living in this one area we exposed to like tropical sunlight all the time at all you would Brown the fuk up or you wouldn't make it yeah I struggle to Costa Rica for a couple days and I'm fucking you know browned out of my face is all the you know kind of has pus in it from the Sun but I think people are evolving in a place like that like being there are hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of years maybe thousands of years like you adapt to that environment or you do know that the preferential the preferable jeans are the ones that make it through their family around

give somebody if somebody dies or did they have them right there it's like there's everything just a lot more communal I think there's just a lot more love don't have ways to save each other the way we do it right we didn't have cars they don't have modern weapons they have to hunt with these bows and arrows they make themselves but they do have pots they have some things you know but also tribe obviously and also your life expectancy probably not as long as if you do die and you believe in a higher power than you get to go see him quicker you probably have reincarnation your you know your friend that died could now be a client you know coyote that you made her something you don't answer in a lot of their cultures it's a lot of you know that just things are more that's all intertwined you know she human and nature but they thought that coyotes were in many different different tribes were they look the coyotes almost like they had some magic to him or something yeah why's threw up all night and then I could see that

yeah you're in that tent sleeping sleeping off that hashish High

a coyote got trapped in a bathroom I want to say it was in South Carolina or North Carolina wild man I have to get it out of the bathroom and sitting on the sink it's crazy they had to use one of the long poles that they did Jack dog around the neck Nashville in Nashville

yeah I can see that

dude it's a cool little video but it's weird like the cars are everywhere now they are everywhere is a really dangerous you could always doing you know Jerry salad

the Nashville Music Hall this beautiful so they're in this Hall in a boat show

look at them she's chilling the very photogenic coyote

how weird and they said that if they brought it to an animal shelter they would a euthanized it so instead they captured it and let it loose in the woods which school do you have any animals that you don't tell people that you have any secret animals are you stop piranhas allegedly and it would they keep in a tank of tank you know you used to be able to buy a human skeleton online who said human skeleton at the bottom of my Prada tank really you buy a skeleton and what can you do with it I bet you can't buy them anymore be used to be able to just buy human skeleton how long can you keep it the whole time was it here's the funny thing I got rid of it and get rid of him like mammal throw away the human skeleton it's a question is that come with this

do you think it'd be like a Cabbage Patch doll like it comes with a little birth certificate someday what the fuk can be a giant mystery that sounds fun I always love mystery man killed somebody and sold their bones it's probably one of those oh my God what is this a male from India in good condition 12 teeth present the rest broken missing their is limping on the lumbar vertebrae what that's $5,000 you could buy a fucking human skeleton holy shit

did it several of them for sale so the lumbar vertebrae lipping you know what that means I think that means their bare bizz backs fucked up and what happens is the discs themselves a lumbar vertebrae the actual vertebrae bone piece from wearing against each other it starts to Spur and develop like a curve to the bar I think they're calling that lipping that means limping limping on the lumbar vertebra slipping slipping on it

yeah I got to go I don't see that yep that's what it is left left right there see how it curves over-the-top osteopath osteophyte osteophyte grading or limping your bones trying to protect themselves and they grow these extra bone tissue and sometimes that obviously I'm not a doctor if you are a doctor stop yelling I don't know I'm talking about me yeah but sometimes people that that shit causes sciatica and poke into the nerves or the bone pokes it or causes inflammation in the area really she did was backs all fucked up so I think like your discs are these things right there's a little jail things cast

main he was basically bone on bone at Omaha disc it's a constant state of inflammations remind me to text like he couldn't he couldn't sit down sometimes you have to stand out even have to hold his lower back and he does dealt with pain forever but it was like almost nothing there so they replaced so is bones are on top of each other there a place that I put this thing to shove it in their fucking two-story Eddie suddenly so I can buy a new shirts she's but he actually is no longer in pain that's what's amazing yeah yeah that's what I've heard of they don't have to do that in every case anymore sometimes they still do it for some reason to know the doctors know what they're talking about but for many people now this articulating titanium disc is now an option I don't know it out yeah I know how bad is it is it hurt hurt bad yeah now it's better better now but sometimes I say

stretch it out yeah those Teeter inversion tables now I just got something free from you guys I'm in the lobby what's that thing called Pro formas or whatever so right yeah that's us are wasps so awesome massage around his neck Grace so I'm going to come you are so horny today that I had to draw it's like a 20 minute drive over here nothing like driving these days driving being on planes you know that bumpy roads are they had a lady I felt like an erection on a plane and she got pissed she told the she told the flight attendant to get me a blanket out now I had was asleep and stay in

it was in your pants yet she saw it somehow she saw my pants cuz I wear in pants lean pants

crazy that she's looking over your PC though I guess if I was a woman and dude had a rock-hard boner just like a couple of time off if what if you're a pervert pervert but I'm still just going home and not using my dick scale of a pervert are you off like 10 is jerking off in front of people on the subway with a lock that I have a friend that's a plaster though he's a jerk off on PBS and do that that's that's 10:9 is a flasher to just pretend to jerk off in front of you or can't get hard and then you got to go back from their perverted Tendencies like what I guess it's like what is perverted a problem with watching too much born

I can book came out instead of me wanting to watch pornography it became oh I'm used to watching pornography at night so I'm going to do it jerk off and get a little bit of rest I didn't like to have it would create a bad habit you are you got real intense thinking about things even when we're talking about like business stuff like you can tell if you get you focus on things yeah which is good if it's a good thing you know but sometimes that kind of thinking can get away from you yeah I think it does sometimes come out the same kind of focus that we can get you really excited about something that's productive in your life can also get you obsessed with something that's not productive suspected kind of person that you are in a lot of performers you're an impulsive creative person impulsive creative people sometimes get caught and ruts you know and there's a bunch of different reasons I think four predictions I think their psychological addiction is physical addiction some of them are undeniably physical addiction

some of them will kill you when you get off alcohol to Quick you'll die it's a physical addiction that is real ones like washing your hands too many times but some people are addicted to wash my hands I know I do it doesn't go anywhere without your real everywhere watching this cat is putting preauth crazy dance weird and you do you fuck up your skin Flora like it's not good here we had to do that used to lick both of his shoulders for it start talking to me that's good for raised his know you serious oh yeah that's what Irish hello right there to do in our time you put like a chocolate on your Sony try to get it off get it off that's not right because going to grab you one damn fuck you what you did get in trouble for something but he was

he's tricking you guys get you to look at that huh I'm looking for that chocolate.

Chocolate chocolate

but here's the thing that he's a thing is if you just got to get my neck back in a little bit of a neck brace sometimes it's just type my neck feels kind of or not tied it feels to work yeah you use those things under the chin and you attach it to the top of the door really tense neck I'm a big believer in that kind of spinal decompression yes you can get that and I got a really good one out here to two really good ones from that Teeter company will you put your waist on one of them and you lean forward and it stretches your lower back and the other when you hang from your ankles really good for if it's good to it cuz it's just like that compression of Lodi sick of it yeah it's very rare that I have a terrible problem slumping I've always swamped and always been like I've always had shyt posture for whatever reason

not good like you're supposed to sit up straight yeah you know you're supposed to your back is supposed to be straight so you can be like I sit like this so I'll talk to people afford my it's like just very bad for your back but you're making your your discs carrier weight in an uneven way what you want to do is have everything everything up and strong Iverson is exaggerated but most people like you get lazy so what would I would good posture is is like a constant state of exercise that's a good posture is but yeah but you impostor all the time it feels like you're always like you know about The Graduate you know what I feel like you always have to be like

kind of like shit I'm saying but you really shouldn't have been trying over the last few years really hard to do that just straight I need to get an alarm for my spine that's it that's the shitt I love that's called the Teeter Dex inversion that's one of my favorite things ever for loosening up your lower back decompression really expensive either I'll hop on that before I leave when you go down when press play so you can see how it works you hang down like that when you hang down like that it just says everything and straighten it out by Imagine they have that kill a deer or something now that's that's a different kind of thing then that's why I'm an I need some stuff I think I need to get more

you know bars and stuff I can hang off of I got to leave you with some pressure sure everything gets like punched in and nothing stretches out so I'm built like a Conestoga wagon brother you know that wheelbase is really question was like 6 by 6 you know like I'm good bro you still young enough to move like that right now yeah I got a thing from now on you're on the highway people to be pin that you wouldn't wheeled wagon Your Dragon behind your Ram pickup truck

a fucking hell bar goal just falls out the back you got a Silverado Chevy Silverado pulling a fucking covered wagon maybe like you can't do that why not registered it's all legal to fuck is buying wagons these days people buying them today or the wagons coming back out there and pretend there still slavery in the South always win the reenactment to know it doesn't really yeah I think there's a little bit of not in real life but in the in the fake I mean pretend hey man I want to fight for slavery and just all pretend to kill himself yeah oh that's interesting

going to do it the right way or we're going to toss down our guns and suck all the dick so the guys in the north I will.

They would one that other one if it is said that

what if it would like if they catch us there sucking our dicks be like in the one apologizing they're out there starving do you think that so slavery right they had it do you think that would if I had the thought of one day would have computers artificial intelligence happens okay takes over and then they're all going to know that we had we owned these phones are people so it's lit like they were slaves you owned my little buddy emotional about that I see where you going with that but I don't I disagree I don't think that'll be a natural Factor

I don't know I got the rose gold one that I do not like that but you got a black case on it that's ridiculous yes true you have to go caseless like a lot of people go kit with Jamie caseless you and really natural hand do you see your kids everyday

yeah sometimes I keep my eyes closed.

navigate its nervous at first to have them vulnerable to love something that much nervous to have that kind of responsibility nervous about all those things are like that you like the changes and then you did like I might did you have reservations I didn't have a relationship with my father Growing Up So for me it's very it was very very important that I did whatever I had to do to have a relationship with them to be as present as I can be taught to whatever whoever I was before I had them to to evolve to get better but it's it's it's a very when you have kids it's a very weird thing what happens to you because all the sudden

it's you're not alone anymore like you like you you don't just have responsibilities of a dog have to feed or a plant you have a little person yeah and you don't want to fuck up that little personal and feels overwhelming in the world feel so dangerous change the view of the world oh yeah there's so much threat is so much out there that could playing stories to you read stories about terrible people and terrible things that happen and then you like fucking I don't have to worry about this just happened to me after all this happen to know if somebody else to yeah that's wild bro that's crazy world in you

you think of people differently because you think of people as a project that developed instead of being in a static State that's interesting did you did you did you think that something like emotionally happens to you like at a level that the love you hot like Dave Chappelle said this best increase my love it increase my capacity for love that's a great way of putting a I would I would agree 100% increases your capacity and you become a lease me I became a nicer person seen it not work to the same people that just rejected I've seen men and women that just don't want to be parents yeah I seen women move away from their kids that don't want to take care of the kids I've seen men abandon their families they just don't want to do it it's crazy and I don't know if it's a mental health issue or if it's just some people just can't take it and this is not just about

raising children about pretty much anything difficult in life there's some people that have a very low quit Point very low they just quit everything they quit get stuff there's a lot of people that just quit and when you have a little like say if you have a little Co in front of you and you think about your life and your childhood and look how important it is for you to raise this little person in and give them love and teach him about life and protect him I'm safe and give him good lessons in life yeah it just changes everything man Changes Everything Changes Everything But it also is brave it's over when people get serious anxiety when they have kids they start thinking about the responsibilities in the weight of it or they don't some people just fucking take pills and lay on the couch let their kids suck fucking carpet glass and fucking stick Forks into the wall sockets and

play with knives people just don't some people don't give a fuk equipped for life I really believe that I think decom the dumb brother that's what I'm saying take the semen out of them you know I'm saying like at a certain point but here's the problem who's the judge and who's to say that this person act stupid could never brilliant child that happens to men lot of times really and people come out of stinging adversity

man who knows what they need but it's like it's not our job to decide who's stupid and who's not because it gets slippery oh yeah you could get boxes that stupid Corner in a different metric if you're hanging around with a bunch of people from Stanford and now they're looking steel Vons in neighborhood they know there's 10 people the neighborhood and only 9 and survive is linked resources for 9 p.m. to get rid of me probably as I video our digging ditches

I could be better than them at that though to suddenly have a different skill

I don't know it's if you thought about having kids I think about a lot more like as I get a little bit older I just yeah the thing for me is just like about being brave I think and just being willing to have my life just be totally different and be okay with that and just being like willing to know that I will be okay in that space you know I think it's hard it's like I just

think I'm just starting to manage the space that I'm in like I just has a regular person and then to get to that point where now it's like fuck you have another ball you have two balls in the air you know wife and a kid or what we talked about earlier like sometimes people fuck people that they don't really like to hang out with yeah I'm not doing that anymore that's where it gets slippery because sometimes that sex is fun man I was just talking to a buddy of mine about this he's got a guy he's a single guy he's got a Gala tfox every now and again they get together and they both kind of know what it is yeah they get together in one out and then they see us that sit his his take on it as interesting as like him and some people you just don't want to see him that often like that's okay that's okay but the problem is is not always Mutual break sometimes the guy wants you to grow more than she wants to see him or vice versa and then it becomes some weird thing 1 first starts talking the other person's Facebook yeah

people you don't like this that's actually an addiction to people get addicted to each other just as much as I get addicted to pornography just as much they get addicted to wash their hands or anything else people absolutely get addicted to certain person doesn't have sex with you anymore like it's like they're taking away your drugs you know and really dumb men and in those cases get very dangerous because no because yeah this person's done something to them because they don't want to be with him anymore really dumb men are dangerous right there yeah that's where you know you you hear about women getting stalked by their axes and murdered and that's what that should concentrate that really dumb men were angry now that the person they loved doesn't want to be around them anymore and they can't look at themselves Trifecta or what conglomeration of factors making the bee that piece of shit but yeah they just do men get feeling they get it they feel rejected and then you just want to

yeah you don't know what to do sometimes you get addicted to somebody else's love or lost our sex all those things women to men it's dangerous other gal couple of lesbians couple of lesbians feel talking about there was some article about domestic abuse I'm unrolling a lesbian communities it's a dark arts man in those women are and some of those women are tough you think

tough-as-nails would you find a lesbian for an undisclosed amount of money

yeah really you don't even have to hear that the number what is undisclosed being do I get to hear at all no I'm not can I train first I wouldn't like Amanda Nunez I wouldn't let you find out it has to be a woman least I've seen a couple pictures of them you know if I got a couple of images of him or at least be able to scroll through there instead you see that video of that grown man who punched at 11 year old girl in the face of the mall she makes me mad that is so crazy there's a bunch of kids apparently they were involved in some sort of a scuffle this guy comes over to break it up one kid pushes him

and then he says something and then pushes the girl she goes flying to little tiny person he's a big dude she comes at him with her Dukes up and he just fucking way laser I didn't see that he hits her with a straight left right in the mug and he's a big grown man like a bee looks like a big man who knows how to throw a punch I'm not going to play the video do you want to find a go find out why don't want to see it fucking disturbing but you think she should tell you one that guy definitely should have done that but to she shouldn't have fucking run at that big giant man with her Dukes up yeah like I know she's 11 I not get it she didn't know she's a kid teach kids it's like she's she's like nipple high on him he owes her

you want to see it no you do you do once a drawer for me on a napkin I don't want to see it

yeah there's a the old days man with chiseled some tits in the

manor Pines you may be a bird or something and if we go out there and your coffee is like a step stool or something or a barrel at least have that but soon as you go out by the tree to leave to use in the tree light off. Got to walk back to know why not do you know where it is could you take us back to the film crew that's the thing also you can't find your way back home where the fuck are we got tired of people jerking off on it does it involve some sort of a neurotoxin chemical that when you touched it and got in your bloodstream and distorted your perception of distance and time

but you would if you would have come to them they would have semen could defy gravity what do you think about that I don't imagine if it wasn't if if come didn't just get humans pregnant yeah that's where you went you found goddess dude fucked a turtle you found some turtle person you can't think about that man is born Turtle People lyrics

what the fuck man somebodee fuc one of these fish or you will see you will see what they put in the like what this guy came out and we knew it because I fish with legs and comes out when you can make love to an animal what would it be if you think you had to go into me something I can brag about

yeah I'm not fucking sedentary I'm not fucking anything that's like a basic something is up in the poultry sex or anything like that no beef I don't think that applies to your fucking an animal that's more important if it's a male gorilla

you would never buy a beer again you put yours right the internet you put a fucking video of me sneaking up on a cheetah and fucking it bro what's net and you're banging it while it's clawing on yet try to get away and you nut Eddie Levert or some Gerald Levert and playing some sweet music indestructible like in there how do you plan to hold it in place while it's all happening I think if you're good enough and gentle enough it'll stay you don't think so I think about you for a tenth as though I went to the hospital like whatever medication where are we going to change it to fix this bro you should meet yourself then bro

you are extraterrestrial man

what's the most I smiled all week that so good you would have fun job manager starter Village realizing that this year you could have ya all we change that you only get busy I might like you don't get busy living this year and just try more things and just you know enjoy my time that I might die at that I am alive that's what's up I really do the whole thing about life is all that I wish I was doing this I wish I was doing that is only good if you're working towards something but I wish I was young again let that go that's not happening I wish I was eight foot tall that's not happening I wish I could fly not happen I wish I could breathe underwater like Aquaman it's not happening

did you come up with some Gene editing some good when I was in Hawaii yeah you're out there looking down on his fish swimming around like that we wouldn't hear this coral reef it's crazy because it's just this world down there where the person is here and you look like a dolt like a damn delectable event to a shark real snack how many famous people have been killed by sharks

what happened at be crazy feel like LL Cool J got killed by shark and malleable you but what the fuck happened right what is OJ Simpson got jacked by a shark would break out across the country if you could see OJ Simpson in Flint have to be Florida he'd be flipping flood Florida lotto her to the beach and you see the fin like 15 feet away from them if you go under and then they yank the blood in the water

AJ Simpson and Dennis Rodman a fuck a lot of the same chicks bro

when you think about that what if what if the OJ Simpson's allowed to leave the country right of Kim Jeong Hoon search party with OJ

like I don't care I don't care what he said I was doing cocaine with OJ Simpson one time in Miami this is like 15 years ago post murder then after the murder and the guy goes he does anybody have a car key and then he's hits O'Jays I asked him for to do the cocaine off of Disguise

was he laughing that's pretty funny I think it's funny I mean if you didn't get in trouble for it even if you did it I think having a sense of humor about it still important every step of the way

did not seem like a guy was being accused of something you didn't do every step I take every step of the way so I wouldn't say if your wife got killed it would not be thinking like that you be heartbroken the fuck out of the show is almost like a bonus scene I didn't know you got this deep with the outfit who's the gal it's just it's part of this is like sell supposed to be extravagant

millionaire billionaire type character I need to see this show. It's been like three or four hours with him he said did you hear that they might have uncovered a pedo ring

can I have uncovered a pedo ring when he was doing this Sacha Baron Cohen looks like what do you know what you when you said that about OJ made me think I met Buzz Aldrin from the Moon yes and he's and when I met him

it didn't seem like he'd been to the Moon to FBI over fears of Las Vegas pedophile round not surprised wow said they said the interview lead him to believe there could be a pedophile ring in Las Vegas holyshit could you imagine of a pedophile ring in Las Vegas was exposed by Sacha Baron Cohen in a comedy movie and they find out it's real I wonder if this is all this is a setup for some other type of film okay okay there has to have been pedophile rings in the past undeniable I would think if you go back you go back to like the fifties of the forties of the thirties there has to be something like that take orphans name molest him all that Sandusky type shit that has been going on so how often has it been going on and what happens now to the same type of

people like if that's no longer available for them is there some way they get it some super fucking super tightly watched circus ring of people who still engaged in this activity and figured out a way to do it I hope not I hope not to everybody hopes not but the idea that it's impossible impossible is unlikely it is probably a market for it the sad like a small you think about it all the time when you think about other countries right over there over there and there's a ring of pedophile ring that scary did he wants to fuck some kid

that's crazy Britney they think it's mostly people who have been abused like that themselves yeah mostly out that's one of the things that Kevin Spacey's brother is said about Kevin is that Kevin is basically like their dad and their dad sexually abused them and now Kevin is acting that out and there was an interview his dad and his brother rather give it to Kevin Spacey's brother looks like Rod Stewart on the strongest acid available who he's crazy looking because I don't know what he looks like he's wearing a costume Donnie space that's not it is it looks like an English scientist and Rod Stewart

that's messed up yeah I'm sad man they said their dad was a Monster yeah yeah look at his dad look look look at his brother how he dresses up what do that crazy Rod Stewart outfit yeah I bet like one check or one dude fuck them because I thought it was Rod Stewart and cyclical much going to ride this outfit he's got rings on every finger he's got to watching across is Packer wow those Dick's keeping time brother you look at that shirt fluffy shirt with a crazy ass neck accoutrements yeah if you're not trying to get fucked by somebody you should have where all this but think about how much effort it took to do all this now go up to his teeth

Sun at the answer that Scotland bro clean up is he from Scotland Kevin Spacey from Scotland I think you're from Britain I think they're from America really where is Kevin Spacey born you know you're Googling it but he would have been as talented as if he didn't have this affliction

and one of those talented men of our time but then people we can do Jersey fuck you bro I was born there he is very talented he's also very crazy and I think in his day you could get away with a lot if you were a movie star I think you know they just they ran those sets like but you never go crazy live that are Kelly thing now in that have got his whole life he got to do whatever you wanted it seem like that's different animal right cuz he's a musician but yeah it seems like he's the underage under age thing with him is like Aaliyah married Aaliyah underage have sex with their underage doing it and I will never part comes at listen complicit in that is out of

peeing on people and then years later people are still making music with them

that's crazy that's crazy yeah that's crazy when you find out how many people were was it was it the Breakfast Club what show was it that they are reading off a list of all the people that worked with R Kelly post video the video is out Lady Gaga always people and eat like a giant number of people do you think we'll ever be able to eradicate the the fact that people do that to it like had like the pedophile or had that Vibe for them first to sexual sexualize children are young people hopefully

scientists will figure out a way to isolate that part of human thinking someday like hopefully they'll be something researchers doctors scientists psychologists whoever it is figure out a way to stop. But in the meantime what it has gotten is way more difficult for them to get away with it right right and it's it's going to get more difficult still I think people are going to be connected I mean were connected right now with cell phones like this is a weird the connection is you know Adam Greentree who was here yesterday we just we were talking about Toyota Tundras he said after we were talking about it he said all of his ads on this phone like when he would look at a website it would all be Toyota ads in a way it's like they're listening yeah they're listening to his phone like the word Toyota Tundra came up over and over and over again is search searches Toyota trucks that happens Toyota trucks

yeah but whatever the fuck process of I mean I don't know if he actually accidentally Google Toyota trucks that day too but they found out he's he's my point is like saying something in a conversation is being connected to these internet searches like these little things are starting to happen and it's going to get more more prevalent it's over for us we're going to be like way more connected now then we are connected rather than 10 years and we are now because no one saw this coming

no one saw us being disconnected so what the fuck is it going to be like if we're connected much much more than that in the future what's that going to be it's going to be it's going to be something unimaginable cuz it's this was unimaginable right so that's what I'm thinking it's going to be something next plane that we're going to get to there has to be some next level of intuition maybe that comes into it or my really hard thought was you know how kids learn things really easily they are really easy very soon in the future a universal language is development coincides with artificial artificial intelligence technology virtual reality and augmented and augmented reality and so this universal language allows people of all languages they can learn it and they can learn it and this was coming off of something that Jamie said once we're talking about

emojis being almost like hieroglyphs like wow but that seems so weird because they seem so cute and corny but but someone could send you a whole like series of them like eggplant water smiley face high five in in the fuk OK Google what would stop once they develop augmented reality or art or or virtual reality in some sort of a easily digestible form whatever it is whether it's a chip do you have anybody to send signals directly to your brain allows you to communicate with each other if we develop the language we can send and receive damages in a way that maybe even more effective than the language that like we assume the English is the best way to talk because we only know how to talk English right maybe if we could speak Chinese we can express ourselves clear maybe we speak Turkish or Arabic maybe there's a better one I don't know I only know one

language but what if sound languages are far inferior to visual languages and one of these visual language is allow people that even can't even see to see because I can send it directly into the mind they can see these things their eyes closed and I've been using your eyeball and everybody can communicate on an even playing so there's no language barriers and what I was thinking this was a possible cuz you're more than a hundred languages and how many languages are there she had to guess I would probably maybe 15

yeah I bet you're right I'll say 130 let's go crazy I'll see a hundred thirty locations probably a separate guess I would like to go with

1060 says there are roughly this is number of spoken languages in the world today 6500 where you about about 2,000 of those have less and fewer than a thousand speaker so even if we count those office still over 4,000 will you know those people on that sensible North Sentinel Island I think they have a dead language there's only $30 really with that guy got killed there using it right before the the the the indigenous people of Australia my friend Adam Greentree who's here yesterday he he works a lot of people use as a mining company in one of his feel like a bunch of people to work with would explain to him these different languages that they're not written down and you

your mob like they would call the Aborigines who call themselves it like it's it's not like a clan it's called a mob their term for it would have a totally different language and someone who lives just a few miles to the me a different mob was a few miles away totally different language you can understand what they're saying you're saying hundreds hundreds of different languages nobody knows what the fuck anybody say it's almost like they don't get their secrets maybe how many do you think there's another report says there's this number of languages that are spoken in US homes as of this size of 2015 smaller number but at least this is at least they're going to see if you would ask me before this conversation with said 13 so I was going to guess actually I was going to guess the Latin languages

that's so crazy so here's what I think the next stage is a universal language universal language would like to think about the Aborigines situation to be in nobody knows anybody saying and none of those things are written down so you have to be in that Clan. Understand that language or that mob and then they die off and yet they're not everything in small small ball it's not planned out well but we are connected everyone interconnected and I think through universal language it's entirely possible that we could reshape civilization universal language every kid picks up in school you teach them Bing Bong right outside of English or Chinese raining out the Bing Bong song is this and this internet language that everybody understands communicating through bing bong and no one

embed you talk your a bitch never dirty talk that English English town talk by our friends dirty talk to me or a hundred and eighty-five that are spoken system Los Angeles what's a lot but it makes sense if there's three hundred in the country 2500 people are so that speak Dutch at home in Riverside that makes sense but only Touch Dynamic the move good there really are Dynamic there

then what will you do when your hands laying face lean headed that are very tall but they're very very aerodynamic the downhill people they call him dude look at pull up a Dutch

okay pull up or nestos arnesto who get a gander at this fella right here because Dutch kickboxer mr. perfect

I bet you tried to kick him in the size of his head because the other one less than others it's goddamn Adonis okay that's him later in his career to if you get it earlier and it screws more Jack to get early in his career when it's right there fam take that picture right there no no the one above it will you curse your was the right to the right to the left of that one or right I'm sorry of that probably just pulled up the right of the photo you just pulled that one out there that's what you look like when he's in his prime let's get a basic does that guy is in advance I feel like look at him the other guys okay how about Rob Kaman

r o b k a m e n r a n rather the greatest boxers of all-time points looking at you sideways what up about basic Dutch got yes it does but you had no yes it would be nothing behind you back your jerking off of

did I even get to I better be crazy in this I know I don't know I'm thinking about this but to watch people from different ethnicities jerk off you know what I'm saying no cuz everybody probably more exciting. Set it up

more than formula Pro no two days a week and I'm disappointed at that I'm just trying to turn over a new Leaf you know I want to not jerk off look there's a if you just look at sexual desire and lust

it is a reason why you become more and more desperate as time goes on like you are at your sights are set too high or you're not being ambitious enough you got to spread your seed you think about how ridiculous it is if people didn't know that having sex with people has consequences and and by that I mean you can get pregnant you can get diseases if there was a cultural limitations people frown upon a time does none of those imagine how much people would be fucking be insane masturbation wasn't possible first but you know what would happen women would rule everything 100% but it's built up in them they be giving in every chance they can go cuz it went away on own it so much more

Austria cuz women would be able to decide whether or not you came was the only way that was the only way if we were the rulers and whether or not you came it was no way to come without them my God they would dominate or fuck did I know that City's next law that's how they would take over

Chopper arms off telling me that you wouldn't watch like a little like Chinese guy dragged off like 30 feet back to the song that we just tell me what time about this how close do you get like it does a Chinese guy jerking off in a park okay and he's not he's he's he's he's Cantonese right now you're jogging right away stay there how close would you walk to it jerking off in public

the open he might be sick enough to argue that you're kind of invited up no no no yea the right if you're in the park this is just

I mean being a hundred percent serious yeah if I'm running in the park you know five yards over to the side right next to a tree there's a guy beating off okay I'm going to stop running and I'm going to look at him but I'm going to look at all the people around him and I'm going to keep an eye on him and I'm probably either going to call the cops or I'm definitely a stand there was one of some person is jogging and he decides this is the time to jump on this person

yeah what are some kid is walking by and he snatches that kid drags when the bush is this guy is so crazy he's beating off in public and he's looking at you I don't think I would go over and be violent with him but I would definitely keep an eye on them I'm not going to let what if he's a fucking sexual predator and he's looking to do something to someone and you could be like Peter Parker in Spider-Man save your uncle yeah I know that's what made Peter Parker become Spider-Man he said his uncle had the power and you didn't save his uncle a robber ran past him and didn't feel like you to do anything about it the robber got into the elevator and he killed his uncle yeah that's the store wasn't an elevator I forget what the actual story was the Robert did something to his uncle and killed him his uncle's everything that I was Uncle took care of them so then he decided he can never let evil people do anything bad again if you can't Spider-Man like that Superhero I think you have an obligation especially if you're

if you're a man especially yeah I give you if I was a small woman and I was in the same situation in which they call the cops immediately you know don't try to be a hero get the fuck away from that guy but call the cops immediately but I'm pretty sure most dudes are beating off in the forest like that they're not looking from me why they're looking for a woman or a child yeah that's where they're probably out looking to meet another man to help me like let's get this day she just what we do will call the cops keep an eye on him I'm going to call the cops by tell them to oh yeah that's it see when someone is crazy which one's really crazy like that kind of crazy by some guy got arrested for it to try to abduct a kid trying to drag him in his house and he had horns on his head

attorneys got those those implants and his head looks like some kind of real guy just got caught right so if you run into that sort of a situation you like you have to have as a person you can't just run away I feel like you got to stand you going to stand around and make this you know people where they say it's guys coming over trying to come over here or this guy is jerking off or you getting somebody else to help

but there's less of that and there's ever been before but this was going to be some of it so you were talking about with pedophiles like how do you stop that forever as a possible stop that forever and we had to do in school when I was growing up the sky big Richard Wright in hand it up mean big dick that's what you call me this before we were old enough to know that dick and Richard have the same amount of John

how short for John Jack is it really I didn't know that John F Kennedy John F Kennedy oh yeah there's some other weird ones right we're never going to get a universal language I can't even get that right that's how you say jacking Irish I guess you said it fasting from far away cuz I might Jack short for Barbara is Babs yeah I know AB ABS actually

it's weird short for Barbara Barb is a rough name though I think like Barbies

Sal is like a man's name that ABBA tour with us a short for a woman Southern weird ones with men I know there's some other weird ones that I forget big Sal I know a lesbian big Sal real name Sally in the shallow into Daddy you know and that's a healthy gal but yeah I think if somebody I was in Germany one time I was on a bike ride and they had a man swinging his dick in a big circle and I thought that was

what is a nudist area of a park if you going to do this area that's what you going to encounter people swinging dicks yeah I guess I was kind of just sped off

yeah but think about it sometimes

about big Sal never spot that guy on the park on what he was doing while I was doing that you know what I used to think I look at that piece of shit now I think that was a baby I was a baby then they became the helicopter dick weirdo it's fucking weird and crazy it's fucking weird it's weird that they're people that do that and how much of that is because of repression like that would if you went to the most sexually liberated country do they have more or less perversion that's the question right and how much of it is imported like if you went to the most sexually liberated place like

how many of the people that come in or people from out of town that are weird that want freakyshit and then it becomes an economy yeah and how many people you just leave them to their own

just be chill cuz we're pretty cage. They say here in America it's pretty you know everything's kind of taboo and you can't see nipples and stuff on television and yeah it's weird I wonder if that's also why we get so much done yeah you know I like you maybe it's just I miss my perception that we get more done than other that were more productive that mean it's I think we focus on a lot a lot of people have definitely come from here I think that's changing right yeah but I think pedophiles going out of style to I think it was a time where more people got away with it easier that's for sure it's hard to get away with it but God that that fucking whatever that is it makes a person do that just doesn't seem like we've eradicated that

it must be a loose wire in imagine that the thing about that is if they could one day figure out a way to get certain traits and and breed them out of people or engineer them out of people

I thought then well what it what what would you leave in like what would you leave in emotional outbursts would you leave in the ability to have an emotional Outburst like what the fuc Yeah I would leave that maybe you and I wouldn't be the one to decide would you leave sneezing in Behavior male emotional outbursts okay like I don't think it's our job to fuck with it okay cuz you need that if War breaks out right you can't have be some guys like a ruption fucking crazed aggression that you don't like well when invading Village is headed over the top of the hill you want that in a dude with an axe yeah you want that you want that to be a

bailable yeah I agree unless we get to a point where we don't have any War anywhere ever again but until then like what they would do that probably we would do that also

I hope not but that's always a fear right mean we're in the middle of two right now you know I think I could beat you think you could ever be another state war in America of the Lego Civil War States people some people are worried about that the government government worried about that as I hate for the Republicans hate for Trump in particular ramps up and that they're really worried that they'll be some sort of a violent outbreak between the right and the left that this could actually really happen man

it's not impossible it's not impossible that least battles could break out because people are fucking polarized matte yeah yeah but I think what's interesting to me is that more and more people it seems like at least from my perspective on the right are now coming out against trump it seems more common more, especially with his government shutdown people like what the fuck you know there's so many videos of people going what are you talkin about what this wall and we need money like people of the government people live or living Check to Check yeah you're shutting down there is the only way you can negotiate this wall does the only way you could fun this this is crazy yeah yeah I mean is I don't know people always say the government sucks fucking shut it down and it shut down everybody gets mad you know it's makes an argument that the government should be doing less things this is the real argument the argument is some of those things the government does why does the government have to do it why can't it be privatized

white why can't it become a business it would probably run better if some of those things were not run by the government like airport security or like road maintenance or like a lot of other things but I don't have the government do it have private contractors do it some real cat have strong standards and strong competition and John Stossel actually has a video about it right now it's on his Twitter page it's a long video but explaining how one of the things people are realizing from this government shutdown is that the government does a lot of things they don't have to do probably better for everybody if some of these things we're streamline some of the things were done by the private sector

I don't think that's a bad idea there's a lot of things that could be done better if there was competition as soon as the government control certain businesses mean maybe they do it really well and maybe they don't you know I think the I think there's certain things that where socialism works really well like fit here's one

fire department fucking got to pay for the fire department everybody wants to fund the fire department don't ya cut the fire budget man what if my ground no file a house for the fire department pay for that shit pay for the police pain everybody says pay yuku shouldn't be rich people only get cops and poor people don't get cramps that's crazy everyone would say that's crazy right why is that not the case of Education to them right don't you want me to learn things but yet when did education become such a big it should be our goal as Patriot Sprite to make less losers more happy successful people more aware people more educated people you know but instead it's like subsidized by the government and that makes it even weirder and then you have student loans you can't escape me a lot of it is pretty bizarre

pocket should be free but there's also like there's another like a lot some people don't want to do anything they just want to be alive and they just they just they don't want to contribute and really have any sort of life and they have no desire for that and there's generation in Generation generation of them what if it's a weird idea flatly rejected it when I first heard we have it no we don't have it tried it out in a couple of places but don't think it's really worked out that while but the idea behind it I'm having a guy who comes on soon as name's Andrew Yang a proponent of universal basic income in the ideas to give people x amount of dollars per month with its $1,000 per month and everybody gets it no matter what

and by doing that you take care of all of the burden of survival like if we take care of everyone in the civilization everyone okay with everyone gets shelter so that eliminates a lot of crime in a lot of strife just right away right more laid-back a thousand dollars a month 308 million is that what it was a plus you know that was 2010 probably more now let's lay it was a 320 that is a lot of money 320 million thousand so that's 320 billion Jeep in a month if you gave a thousand people a million dollars is not what it would be a thousand million is a billion right

the student loan calculator bro don't you in your head. So that's so must be so 3 by Kim talking about building the wall is he asking for 5 billion this is every month you would need all those billions that's all a lot of fucking Jetta and obviously I'm not a mathematician or any sort of an economist so I don't have any idea what they how they feel like they could do this 3,000 got that it's not from him specifically is a different guy

that's crazy that's almost that's crazy but yeah $36,000 a year that's I mean I'll be nice right then you'd be in the top 1% of the world everybody over thirty 4:37 4034 thousand dollars I think it's 1% of the world would cut the Nations poverty rate in half cent of it that point that's a good question is that bad why because that's what it's like there with the drive it's the only reason otherwise you nobody ever comes anything nobody Chief is no true is it is the drive does it drive always have to be for survival or can the drive be the drive to succeed and better yourself so you say look at it this way if you have $35,000 a year what you think you'd be cool need to be like I don't need to tour I got 35 Grand, now I want to work harder right I think a lot of people

cuz I think your motivation would be different your motivation would be to do better than $35,000 but that $35,000 would take care of you looking money was free and economy didn't make any sense then you just fix it like that I would say yeah fix it like that the fuck is all that money, that's a crazy amount of money we could have some of their money people aren't doing all of that 900 billion dollars

every month my right about that 300 billion person they get the money fuck it to get a car 3000 no bills that's true that's true so how many people are we dealing with how many people are adults it changes to the argument they make that is that some of us subsidies that are already going on like Medicare and Social Security and maybe welfare in some cases because people have money that they're spending or they're getting now so that way I don't know maybe worth a shot but how long do you try to make you know cuz then people give me like I needed more time you know would never get their shit together there's some people that will definitely do that there's some people that will never get their shit together

I don't believe that this is a simulation I don't believe that the word some sort of a video game but if we're in something it was that you were it was a learning environment you would want both to have your own opportunities for failure and see examples of failure around you you would want to see that like I'm not happy that Artie Lange that his nose is caved in and that he's got all these problems with drugs I'm not happy with the Isle of Artie Lange alright to be clean I think he's hilarious I think he's a great guy the one thing that could be good that comes out of that for anyone other than Artie Lange Rd laing's loved ones and friends yeah he's someone that's just looking at him online and sees what he's done and goes like fuck that it's Brice I don't want to ruin this guy he's always getting arrested he keeps pissing hot they have kind I was reading something today will the thing is that it's it's it's sad it's sad and people love the guy and you you see this is danger

drugs are dangerous yes people hit it hits them this way and for whatever host of factors already got it bad for I love already so someone on the outside seeing that you be like wow and that now is a thought in their head if somebody offers them those same drugs right and so I don't need to make my life hit rock bottom I can look at this guy or that guy or maybe someone in the neighborhood of people around you that don't get their shit together you can see what happens right when they don't chase their dreams a tight follow their Ambitions they don't they don't take the time to let the people around them know that they love them they don't do those things and you get to see that you got a little bit of your own education to it's not ideal right idea would be everybody is doing great and we would all have this big old fucking happy Community Education

that when I asked her to become such a big part of his life that I like I'm worried that that I wonder what it is he is he going to fault her with drugs and stuff because it keeps his name in people's minds no I don't think so you know when I met him in 1994 the same time I met Kalin I became friends with already we did a scene together where I played a boxer and he was a boxing manager I need to know that I know you did that she'll yeah man it's probably online somewhere it's how we look so young I was like think I was 27

wow and he was probably the same age as me or real close as was Kalin Kalin his sister that's me right there

that is crazy boxer did that is crazy

I'll look at the shoulders though huh

oh my God this is atrocious if you like to look at you young body like that is it just like a different person doesn't doesn't feel like it was me

yeah yeah well you look at yourself you know from the past and some kind of an illusion was it out on the way did you know you're going to lose your hair terrified yeah it's weird seeing my body with no tattoos to interesting that wasn't even like a weight lifting days that was all Martial Arts days taking fry

strange but he had the first time I've ever heard already was just a drug so maybe my perception is that is that you know you know he was a very successful comedian for sure from the Howard Stern Show from doing dirty work that Norm Macdonald movie and a bunch of the things Mad TV so many different things he did he was always very successful and very well-liked like in the comedy world if you don't like taking some of those fuck Artie Lange you doing what's really are you yeah you don't like one of those things man you don't want to see it go down like that you don't want to but you learn from it yet other people are other people other people learn from all kinds of things that people do wrong you know you don't want those things that happen but men their educational for all of us were all on this constant state of evolving this this culture that were in right now the civilization is rapidly chain

everything is Shifting growing out of control man I mean it really is around stuff like that and then he was talking about doing a comedy special needs like I don't even know what to do with it these days do I just do Clips do I put it like things just changed so fast we're like a year ago or two years ago to be like all this is exactly what you do make a special it's like it's like you do I used to be you didn't have an option you know I'm the first guy who actually introduce it as an option was Louie cuz we decided to put a special on his website you buy it for like five bucks which is a really reasonable amount it was a really good special and it killed him in a shit ton of money right and then people realize that he made a shit ton of money than people realize how good he wasn't in people realize how famous you really actually was and then everything started boom and taking off ram it was already in the process of happening but it happened even more because he did that then Netflix came along

right that's the ideal they shook it us nothing better than that situation that's a trillion dollars we're going to get everybody we're going to get all the greats we're going to get shipped out and Chris Rock everybody fill in the blank Sebastian and they just going to cry Bill Burr are they going to just cross it and keep crashing ads and then anything else now like if someone has a special on Comedy Central you go oh

guests on Netflix wouldn't hook them up to go to Comedy Central that's how you look at it right in the, but I think Abril player is going to be Amazon because this Amazon show The Marvelous mrs. maisel it's good as a comic I watch I get nervous I get anxiety when she's about to go onstage at watch it dude it's fucking good the guy who plays Lenny Bruce tells it chills it seems like a less CD less problematic Lenny Bruce Lee seems a lot like Lenny Bruce me it's you know I can only do so much with it is written in as someone who helps The Marvelous mrs. maisel any CD with Lenny Bruce CT man I mean this is I just he doesn't see the guy this is just the way it's written doesn't see my guy died of a heroin overdose right that I would. It seems like more together

someone seems like in the sheet TV show it seems like a victim of the censorship of the circumstances involved in that point in time more like in the future like he went mad you know if you ever see any of the ancient one of the things that I notice when I when I really started getting in the stand up bass to start I would watch some of the old stuff and want to think that I found it so you can I think I bought it as a VHS I forgot I don't think it was online but it was way before YouTube in the stuff is available online you could get old performances and I watched Lenny Bruce this video tape that I bought it's basically they're filming him going over his court case in front of a group of people

it's really weird because he's not really don't stand up he just reading off of his court case was kind of interesting it's not it's not arresting him they're locking them up in jail in the ruin his career because he's swearing on stage and what he's trying to say is like you no no this is I'm trying to point things out that I'm swear if I say something nice and naughty words for a reason it's to express myself I'm not I'm not just just saying things because they're illegal I want you to lock me up he went on trial for that went to jail for that he got arrested many times how many times him and George Carlin the reason why we can do it at 3 with a way we do it now has a does a direct you could trace the path is a direct path to Lenny Bruce Lenny Bruce started it all off I need to do some more work do you open the door for guys like Carlin and prior his the others Mort Sahl back then too but Lenny in particular

he had a reference to him and this this notion to Buck the current yeah standard of what you couldn't couldn't say and he just changed change what comedy was a brave for technology and Innovation whether it's there's a bunch of people like that in this world yeah guys goes off in a direction and I say I think like I wonder if they if they went to the universal money for everybody right do u b b I would if I don't necessarily think it's the worst thing in the world but then when you have as much adversity for people like when you get a Nikola Tesla would you get us George Carlin when you get people if they didn't have to look at the

world that they're born into and see not the things the uneven and give the spark some desire you notice what if we get that I don't know I think you would only have your needs met I think you would still have your desire to improve I think that's an inherent thing but I think it would be more beneficial this is just a wild guess I'm at the wrong in my ruin people's ambition but it might raise the base level right so what we're we're we're operating from is never the same level of desperation so maybe we're not as mean to each other right but maybe the Innovation still takes places people are always going to want to be challenged and maybe it's comes from a good place right and center from this constant place of desperation right so somebody goes from 0 to attend in their life which would be you know somebody that does something unique and special and outstanding if everybody are automatically is given up three other base than now that person's going to get us to a 13 maybe you just don't have as much of violence

you don't have as much sadness oh that's true because people yeah people were violent when they see they want stuff from other people food if your food and your shelter is always met like we don't have that right and we talked about earlier about bikes cultures have standards and these standards there different everywhere and those communities accept them and they don't like it when you try to change the standards of our standards here word that all of our needs are met we just we decide as a community if we're going to stick together and call ourselves America we should treat ourselves as a family we treat ourselves as a family we should ignore neighborhoods we shouldn't ignore communities that are downtrodden we should ignore any kind of poverty we shouldn't ignore lack of Education or lack of nutrition we should ignore those things so we take care of all those things all those things first before we do anything else have you had a real engineer America would you think hey we have to do is wrap up the military budget by 94 billion dollars cuz we're basically arms dealers yeah we're going to make this deal

Syria and Saudi Arabia where we can sell Rockets to it's a whole lot yeah but someone came along and said know the way to make this country a street beggar the way to make this country stronger is to make the human industry better write make it better is fine tune the human spine tuna yeah y-yeah 2024 highlight Theo Von Frontier president Leslie glad I got to say we're probably almost done anyway it's 33 LP can be replaced by robots soon bright these are some of the jobs that are at risk of automation is who killed most jobs so insurance underwriter 99% of jobs

at risk Farm labor 97% of jobs are list fast food cook 97% of jobs at risk construction laborer 88% truck driver 79% mail carrier 68% wow robot cooking food I think it was called flippy they do remember where I think it was some of the United States may be but they just fired it was the word they used because it was doing too good blow fire day cuz it was doing too good

that doesn't I get I believe it. Yeah that's a stupid ass ended way of looking at it I don't understand that stupid shit a place called CaliBurger

it was too good that's so so so stupid

that's so dumb it's been sidelined at least temporarily turned out the automated fast food worker created by miso Robux with a victim of his own success as an hour wow better way better better than you you don't know what that job. Job I'm good at a couple of things and burgers you're not good at that you don't want to fucking mindlessly flip Burgers it doesn't even need a mind why not leave the Mindless things to the two things with no mind so this is the idea behind it but the problem is where's the money come to take care of all the people with the universal basic income and are you saving enough money with the robots to make it actually

profitable paper people you save more money and make more money is going to come in here and he's going to explain all this stuff to me in a way that's supposedly going to make sense he seems really smart and he was on Sam Harris podcast and that worked over there

that's much urine have ever held I think congratulations a BMW to you more for a muscle car type fellow really Aisha on a 1984 Ford Escort somebody I don't know probably put you know put in the living room I would guess at the time put in the forest and jerk off on that for the next new order Swamp Thing Happened I was thinking this once they found out that in some plants some plants contain DNA from salmon because the salmon were used as fertilizer by the plant as a decomposed it got into the actual plant itself and you can actually somehow or another through some scientific process that I'm too stupid understand they can actually detect

salmon in the actual plant itself or close so if you were whacking off on that tree in that tree it's everyday that's your spot you went down to that titty tree and whacked off on the roots and then like after while you did an analysis and you found your DNA in the tree itself imagine a great man who maintains the information of everything that whacked off on it yet a little Sun made out of wood one day they had a kid in our town at one time this guy made his son a wooden shirt that I tell you that I wouldn't sure he met his son a shirt out of plywood for Christmas who wanted the kids to wear it oh yeah I did and I remember I was like 80 bitty tiny pieces of plywood and weave it all together I was pretty Steph and the dad was a

shalick an Elvis impersonator you know but Dad was an Elvis impersonator at a casino or do you do it at carnivals locally we didn't even need no money I really I think he's probably not call list but he had he had four kids and one of them he made I was going walking home one night and I heard him in the garage and he's making like a son like I should like a for Christmas like a wooden shirt like a

you know well not as nice as nice wooden shirt you can you get me some ice can you get one more that's like

like if you over someone's house and they have a wooden shirt on a hanger like and they think that's cute just leave now it's framed wooden shirt that looks like wooden sure you better shut the fuk up where to God he did not walk over his body like that

it was a bad inside he looked at me fuk no dude that is a Salem r80 it's way too much attention of short hair by the ocean where would ensure to get a big no that's a big no from me she's channeling with her fucking geometrically patterned wooden shirt on what no I set you up with that gal you be like well I'm pouring cuz obviously she's very pretty sure she's not crazy she doesn't wear that except when she worships the ocean or something like that

now we're talkin was like that but a little bit more but more real he wore this for what reason

I just got a chestplate like a Roman soldier like that was it like how was it a connected on the waist on the sides rather it was just kind of like a long square is almost a kind of cereal box kind of aggressive signs on the side can decide yet fuck your armpits up I was limiting I mean I mean the man that made it

not real people find out they would call him out anything you wanted to know people that people were I don't know just more fun to use your imagination when I was young you have more fun coming to DC beating your kid

please beat the kids out right yeah probably like to at least 20 of it

but I guess it's maybe we moved all those areas to Bass intro people back in those areas like bro I'm on the Frontline should still going down tomorrow that's five minutes of this old man get thrown into a ditch fire that people were burning leaves during a write-in he was fighting on the bus ditch yeah I don't know why was on the bus driver I don't know whose fault was it

I'm not surprised they were doing it. They were fist fight and do some stupid people just ain't getting any better basic needs met okay so then after that after you do couple years Universal basic income then what do you do in the woods yeah that wolves lose containment get some dude out there jerking off thinking he's been cute hanging out behind a bush he just turns E6 wolves look it up and they just know what to do

squeezing a wolf would attack you while you were jerking off or know everything's pink dick looks delicious fucking bullshit plywood t-shirt out there with just all pink yeah yeah I hope I don't do anything bad like that an 8 in any of them see me you know I don't want to be have that kind of ending you get into binance and I'm going to say right now I don't think you're going to be jerking off in the woods and eaten by a wolf I might be wrong yeah but I would say that's not how you're going to go thanks I just don't see that any bro

I see better things for you to come in the first wolf get your cat bit your calf and looked anyway I'm just keep going and maybe the bite in the pain cuz you're about to come what up boss wow at least I died with my biggest load ever take that that's one thing I've always been disappointed by the sheer volume of your loads full it's not much if you look at it takes a real egg whites at the house actually supposed to be good for raising testosterone

the more you save it up to gather up more but I like to do that not turn on I want to ride that dream bus that used to get

the Tiger

Superbus I want that dream happen anymore for a long time to pump Me by bodies like this dumb mother fucker can't even jerk off yeah I'm just going to have to jerk off for him unconscious do you think that you're learning things while you're dreaming cuz some people think you learn things when you dream I think that'll be one of the next hurdle that we get over where people are able to be able to take in information while they're asleep this is what I mean like they say if you have a problem if something's bothering you you should sleep on it and when you wake up in the morning you'll have a clearer perspective I believe that I think so too cuz I've done that before that seems to actually be a good strategy if you can go to sleep the promise of something is really bothering you like Tamarind for this out but you might stay up all night because austed and then you might not be able to sleep

think through it you got to get a high-powered help you out man you got to get used how to take a higher power comes in the place do you think you see yourself ever going to church again yeah I think so I didn't church is kind of evolving over our time is Too Fake dad and would you go to Justin Bieber's preacher is it dark arts how long do you wear your shorts

yeah it was a little wild huh so you know him so you must never met him you just text each other back and forth we communicate sometimes he yeah but I've never met him just try to meet you know you're not tonight bro you think it's

every time we talked about yesterday I'm not going to plan on coming again for a couple days do you have a time where like if you jerk off and it's been like 4 days like that and I should do something no I get that feeling inside of me some other dates like a vulture that wants to fly out of my brain to sex-obsessed now you want to knock it off either cuz it'll consume you but I think I'ma start on that dream didn't want that fucking nocturnal bus to masturbate if you don't start a group it's the lnb 0 days late night Buster's Brothers dreams to you how funny is that expression I'm hunting that dream yet I want that nocturnal bust your butt

fat Canary Jessica

like would you ever, me Dice Clay noises

have you that guy's a fucking Mook man I never liked him how every time I see what the commies toys never been nice to your conversation with him I feel like I'm trying to engage them in the middle what time you brought me up on stage and he kept like they told him I name a million times he never got it just got to the point where it felt like he was like being rude you know like he might just be having fun he's a good guy is he can I was a gigantic Dice Clay fan when I start first started meeting him the store like to believe he's here but we have a new experience with him

crazy like half of his thing like if you go to his Instagram page and half of it is like a put on it's always fucking around and he gave me very good advice and I was to know so I can the 90s man is like you should go fucking tour is like you're funny is if you want to hang around here all the time do club's I should make a living and this is what he was basically saying was like don't get roped into only working in Hollywood television shows and stuff like that because then these other people control your destiny you can't or yeah and this is from him obviously coming out of he had the most insane epic success of any comedian ever is a rocket ship he was he had sold out hundreds of Arenas Arenas giant ass places Hawaii when is DVT or his seat whatever we hit the neighborhood and Avril all the kids were watching it and I don't even want to watch it so I thought when I was listening to

that's true but he gave me very good he's the reason why I started touring he gave me very good advice and I was to know so I can the 90s man is like you should go fucking tour is like you're funny cuz I want to hang around here all the time is right I want to hang out here like I should do club's I should make a living and this is what he was basically saying was like don't get roped into only working in Hollywood television shows and stuff like that because then these other people you control your destiny you can't or yeah and this is from him obviously coming out of he had the most insane epic success of any comedian ever use a rocket ship he was he had sold out hundreds of Arenas Arenas giant ass places Hawaii when is DVT or his seat whatever we hit the neighborhood and never allow all the kids were watching it and I don't even want to watch it so I thought when I was listening to him talk I was thinking oh yeah of course like this guy probably made more money than anybody ever did in the sitcom ever know you did it just do

talk I was thinking oh yeah of course like this guy probably made more money than anybody ever did in a sitcom ever know you did it just doing whatever the fuck you wanted to do and he's basically saying hey don't get wrapped up in this only you can't or give me money I never made money the way he did you can still make a living where is if you don't tour and you just do sitcoms or just working television special if you work as a writer. That's the dark path the great stand-up comic that becomes a writer

whatever the fuck you wanted to do and he's basically saying hey don't get wrapped up in this only you could tour give me money if I never made money the way he did you can still make a living where is if you don't tour and you just do sitcoms or just working television especially if you work as a writer that's the dark path the great stand-up comic that becomes a writer

they never tour and they never develop a crowd and then there's those that happened but supposed to be a writer then we know great comedians who mostly work as writers and it doesn't make any sense when they don't want to they want to be a comic out there performing and the level of their material is far better than the level of their notoriety Planet he's a killer that dude makes me cry funny guy and he's so good his timing stage presence is delivery is material the subject matter. Excellent It's Top Shelf Comedy yeah but most people don't know who he is right that's cuz he's made a great living as a writer but he's still

they gave in to the right and they could have went we know great comedians who mostly work as writers and it doesn't make any sense when they don't want to they want to be a comic out there performing in the level of their material is far better than the level of their notoriety

he should you know he should be recognized as a comic as well yeah that's how I look at it so basically what dies was telling me back then was like get out go go someplace go do the do, headline clubs can get you that you might not be the same comedian if you didn't say that yeah I'm sure and I don't know you know it's easy it's easy to just decide someone's an asshole or you know if one interaction with someone you want to shit on them I just think we should be and I'm trying to do this myself be very careful when you should on somebody when is it when is it valid and when is it just you looking for something to shit on what is it a new experience or so

but she said he was an asshole to me so I was okay about if I date he just they kept

they're like he was on stage before me so I was going to go up after him he's probably joking around then they have at a certain point it was it was just rude getting it in and it was just like it at some point to me it was just rude because you're probably a little bit anxious you going on after him and then he's not say your name right you feel like oh he has no I am so this is kind of disrespectful they could have been there could have been yeah I think that that's certainly could have been my part and I think it's an ego and .9% fucking around if he knew you give me that's part of who he is to get to know him better

Betty Shores when he performed is Mickey Shorr Union deaths party but I remember I like to watch it in there you know I don't I mean I think it is a great comedian stuff that you know who would you like now though I don't know what you like to live in November that would have been a really old and sick unfortunately I love him man in Illinois and he had this kind of he kind of had this head Bob thing that was very good comeback and

barter stand up right now there's an Eddie Murphy I think if Eddie Murphy came back right now he would murder stand-up order it I said that the other day there was thinking he might come back seat it up thing one day we was talking about Bill Cosby about them taking Awards away from Bill Cosby and he did is Bill Cosby impression and he did it with this was that say what happened pop-ups the movie

she just shooting mad loads now there's a guy who needs a birch tree in the yard there's a guy hazing

Eddie Murphy's been around forever but he was killing it when he was 18 years old crate you forget how young he was when Delirious world around like a good Lord he was probably 22

would you I bet even come pretty far how far you think you can come by like a foot

we discussed we went over the world record for a 30ft for that guy looks like he was given credit for it because it's like an impromptu thing you know like you don't know oh yeah yeah they called that's a crazy thing instead of hectic that you're known for him like that will give you say big loads you say Peter North everybody knows oh yeah well the fucking substantial owes it all the pornstars have dumped on all those all those maidens all over the land and then one dude is known for the highest volume, you got to be no known you know I'm saying your I took out to be known no right

going to be like the Kanye West have loads you got to be coming and also probably look at your watch your phone during it and you're still coming me look back at your dick you got to be chivalrous of Lowe's like Michael Jackson deniable you think very little, 0 Michael Jackson of dance but you don't come much are you doing all that what activities you think you do when you come a lot like the kind of people that like clothes right I think you would think they do but for their size and stuff they're not doing that much I can choose the biggest space I think a guy that's on a cliff like a cliff climber

yeah but is that the biggest loads I mean that guy shooting some fucking just cuz he has the balls to climb up a real spackle BMX jumpers they jump three times in the end and land on a bike yeah maybe they have the biggest loads also guys who like fake put a sign on the car when you don't pay a meter like meter's broken that is put that on their car and bike and still parked there some loads bro

I think it's other things to pickpockets people that were up turtlenecks do not come very much or far

it's a French thing to I don't care about the French dude wow but give you been there or you just keep in Montreal you didn't love the French I love the Canadians.. Yes because they are Canadian but the French bro not in the French and nobody is true people go to Paris every year yeah but they leave

it's not the kind of place people are Milling around man

I think people go there and they decide that it's better than America sometimes didn't Johnny Depp move there

yeah we're Johnny you know what's move there

fuck the guy from Law and Order the Mandy Patinkin Richard Belzer Richard Belzer moved to France he met a woman probably then we we Elementary love ya read about you Boston France roads are slippery of it it's all on scooters everywhere through the bushes the clown Pennywise is getting gay bro today

play me some middle of the winter it's freezing cold out since January

it doesn't get more widget in January but I just say it's August I have the best calendars

dude we just did 3 hours to give me Jesus Christ Brothers the longest I'm hitting her been in my life and not this much man how long was the last one to three hours to get on some pills or something to be able to go through this again c-string Nitros is really only need a fucking limited bus play Brother anytime you got a new podcasts out with Brendan Schaub yep called the king in the sting and it comes out what is that

he just made fun of me when time and call me a rat did you see that video of a bunch of rats connected together to pretend that they're a snake yeah they do that as trickery I found it on Twitter it's on my on my Twitter is a bunch of rats that connected themselves and are running together to pretend that they're a snake that's a wrap can you confuse bundled up together to get stuck and they get their tails wind-up they died that way to they find them all Caked Up and fucking for a party in bro but it's spring break for the sweetest those are all rats all completely bundled up together to look like a snake so that Mama rats in the front and the all the baby rats

stay connected to each other to pretend they're snakes avoid predators and out and if you and I saw that probably would think it was a snake is a mother fucker yeah we're limited time I think humans you think this is part time Brothers no way of letting us out here until forever motherfukers could do is pretend to be a snake and can make snakes to make robot snakes shooting tomorrow's out of a robot dick we can't be the Avalanche though. They're taking the sting Theo Von on Instagram and Twitter thank you for adding me thank you everyone for tuna to the podcast and thank you to our sponsors thank you to zoom Video Communications set up your account today at Zoom

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Jamie has mother top of the line mattress is loud and you can get one to you can get $50 towards select mattresses by visiting kasper.com and using the promo code Joe at checkout that's casper.com Joe and promo code Joe for $50 towards select mattresses terms and conditions apply that said we did it thank you everybody for tuna to the podcast holyshit is Theo Von funny that was some funny shit predicted he's so ridiculous you makes me ridiculous

but I had a good time and I hope you folks did too and I hope you're all groovy and all that good stuff and take care of bye bye